Building Yourself in Elul - Every Project Needs A Blueprint

Okay, good evening everyone. Welcome. Thank you so much for joining us. In the first of our three-part series on chuva annually, the raanum of our shulkeron synagogue prepare in the month of Ella. We try to get ready and each year we choose different themes so that we can compliment one another and try to build a portrait or a picture and inspire all of us to be growing along the same path. And this year, apppropo, what's going on outside? We chose the theme of building construction and uh preparing ourselves, building ourselves. Believe it or not, this was a gift from my parents because we're doing the construction. It's unclear to me if my father still has this from my youth. This is my toy or he got it for me special. But it sits now in my office and it reminds me not only of the construction that we're doing on our campus. We're building and we're not building square footage. We're not building bricks and mortar. We're building we're building Torah and most importantly we're building ourselves because you can't build a people. You can't build others. You can't build a community if we're not building ourselves. And our theme this year is to talk about what that mean and what that look like. How do we prepare? How do we execute? How do we build a structure which is strong? And how can we expand ourselves, not only our campus, but really expand ourselves to be bigger and better versions of ourselves to constantly be growing and advancing and becoming better and better. I mentioned earlier this morning at the Amunir, can you imagine that we had a dream? We had a desire to expand our campus more and more learning and more and more community and more connection. So he told the contractor, "Show up. Come, come with your bulldozers and come with your cranes and figure it out. Start building. It' be a disaster. They wouldn't get anywhere. Whatever they would cobble together wouldn't be safe and it wouldn't last. Certainly, it wouldn't be legal because in order to build, in order to build legally, what do you need? You need plans. You need architectural plans. You need detailed plans. You need to submit your plans for permitting, they need to be approved. They need to be legal. They need to be safe. You need to measure. You need to measure twice so you only cut once. You need to be able to be prepared in order to be able to build in a way that will last, in a way that is safe, in a way that is authentic, in a way that is real. And what's true, what's true for our shul and our campus is true for ourselves. So many of us this time of year, we deliver a lot of lip service. We get ready, we say certain tos, we attend certain shurim, we have in mind or intention, change, grow, but they're wishes. They're simply wishes. We really want to wish to wake up one morning and be a better version of myself. I wish I wish I were more patient. I wish I were more generous. I wish I wish I knew more. I wish I connected more to I wish I were a better husband and wife. I wish I were a better mother or father. I wish I were a better hashem. We confuse and we mistakenly think that we're prepared, that we're working, that we have plans when really all that we have are wishes. of coladamus common Shapiro the pba we quoted him this morning in his kesh his wonderful sermons that he delivered in the wars ghetto on the I want to quote him tonight in his spiritual diary he wrote a spiritual diary you'll say what's a spiritual diary a spiritual diary does not write it's what I had for breakfast this was lunch look at a picture of my dessert this one was nice to me this one was mean to me this is what we did today that's a diary a spiritual diary are here are my hopes and aspirations. Here are my dreams. Here are my talents. Here are my strengths. And here are my struggles. So he writes visual diary and I'll read it to you in the English. If you want to know if you progressed on your spiritual path over the years, the way to judge is to look at your resolution at your inner drive and not at your wishes. Only the inner drive with which you work to attain your desired goal is called resolution. But if you don't work rather just want, it's not called resolution. It's just some wish that you wish for yourself to be blessed with that desired objective. For example, he writes, he's writing the early 20th century. Sazir was written before he was in the wars ghetto and murdered by the Nazis Sham. For example, the poper who works to sustain himself. This is drive because he's doing something constructive toward it. But the wish that he'll find a million dollars is just a wish to be rich, not a resolution. Every Jew would like to be at Saddak, but that's no more than a wish. He'd like to wake up in the morning and suddenly find himself at Saddak. Only the level and state of being that you seriously work toward can truly be called a resolution. When I first read this, and I've shared it before, it had an enormous impact on me because it's sobering. It demands of us to be honest with ourselves. Do we have wishes or resolutions? I have a wish. I have a wish to be more patient, to be more present. I have a wish to be healthier and exercising more. I have a wish to be more connected to my D. They're wishes. I want to wake up tomorrow morning and some genie will grant me my wish and it will come true. But those are just wishes. Wishes are not reality. And wishes are not a resolution. Says the holy pett. We need not wishes, we need resolutions. What's the difference? A wish is a dream. It's a hope. But we want some genie to provide or produce it for us. We have no plan. We have no resolution. We have no formula. We have no calendar. We have no system in place. It's a wish. I wish I would wake up and be more fill-in the blank. But those wishes, despite what the world tells us, most often do not come true. And they won't come true if they remain only in the realm of wishes. They need to be transformed from wishes into resolutions. A resolution. A resolution. That's the real secret to change says the petta to be honest with ourselves and to distinguish what are my wishes but what am I willing and ready to make a resolution about. There are countless things that we claim to want to change about ourselves. But the measure or the evidence of whether we really want it or not is is it just a wish or are we ready to make a resolution? Do we have a plan? Are we going to bring it into reality? Because frankly, we're in control. We think we're not. We forfeit our control, but our DNA is not our destiny. Just because of where we come from doesn't mean that determines where we're going. because of the circumstances and environment and people around us. It's just excuses to say that we can't take control. We can if we're determined and if we make resolutions, if we have a plan, we put a place, we have parameters, and we're ready and we're willing to execute, we can turn those wishes into into resolutions. I want to share with you a beautiful Torah from says that human beings have the potential to be either objects or subjects. So Josh gave in 1974 he applied what a well-known brisker lumbus a brisker a brisker way of analyzing a Jewish law for example he was talking about the two components of the mitzvah of chauffeur is the mitzvah for the chauffeur to be blown is it a the object or is it a mitzvah to blow the chauffeur is it a is it in the in the individual do we focus us on the mitzvah. Do we define the mitzvah by the the object or by the gavra by the person? And he elaborates in two approaches with a what's the practical difference? A beautiful incredible analysis of the mitzvah of chauffeur of the mitzvah to blow the chauffeur. But that's not what I want to focus on or elaborate on right now. I want to share with you his application of this analysis to the mitzvah of chauffeur and gavra. A classic maybe the most classic brisker lumbus and analysis not only on a mitzvah but on us on us. We every one of us in our lives have the opportunity and the potential the choice. Do you want to be a kafa or are you willing are you ready to be a gavra? When our lives are on autopilot, we're a product of our surroundings. When momentum is just carrying us and we're coasting through life, when days blend into weeks, into months, into years, and we look back and realize we've simply been living the same year over and over and over again, then we're we're just an object being acted upon. But when we're mindful, when we're spiritually awake and conscious and conscientious, when we're driving our lives instead of being driven by them, then we're not so we're not an object being acted on. We are a subject. We are the actors who are determining our lives. How do we prioritize and spend our time? How do we prioritize and spend our resources? Can we regulate our emotions and our reactions? Are we, as we've shared so many times and it's not ours, many people say this idea, are we a thermostat or a thermometer? A thermometer takes your temperature. A thermometer, a thermometer reports on what it is. A thermostat controls the temperature. Many of us think, I'm a thermometer. I tell you, I'm angry, jealous, I'm happy, I'm so satisfied, I'm sad. We we report on our temperature. We report on our emotion as if we're just a thermometer. I can tell you how I feel. I tell you my emotion, but I have not no control over it. But that's not accurate. It's not who we are. That's not how it has to be. You're not just a thermometer. Don't just report to others what's happening. I saw a comedian had a whole routine on the definition of marriage. Marriage is the privilege of waking up next to somebody who every day will give you a full report on how they slept the night before. That's marriage. How many times they woke up, they fell in a deep sleep, they didn't. They fell asleep, but they woke up. They couldn't fall asleep. How long they slept? That is marriage. The definition of marriage. A ther a thermometer. A thermometer. I have a report. I want to tell you how my stomach is. I want to tell you how well I slept. I want to tell you how I'm feeling. I want to tell you what's going on. I'm going to tell you emotionally, spiritually. This is where I'm at. I'm a thermometer. But we don't have to be, and we shouldn't be. We can be a thermostat. We can be a thermostat. We can control our temperature. We don't have to indulge the emotion, the feeling of anger or of envy. We should never swell with arrogance. We don't have to be impatient and lose our cool. We have the capacity to not just have wishes to be different, but to make resolutions. We have the opportunity says to not just be a don't just be an object but be a gavra. It's time to step up and be a gavra. But the difference between an object and a subject a and a gavra is the admission and the willingness to accept the responsibility that I am in control that I'm not just going to have wishes and dreams to wake up different one day but I have a resolution and a plan. I have a resolution and a plan to incorporate more learning in my life. I have a resolution and a plan to spend more time with my family. I have a resolution and a plan from dis to disconnect from technology and be more present with the people around me. I have a resolution and I have a plan and I'm going to be able to measure. I'll be able to report they're going to be outcomes. One of my favorite quotes, Peter Ducker, what gets measured gets managed. Wishes don't get measured because it's just a wish. There's a genie in a bottle. And I hope and I wish. I'll wake up tomorrow morning. I'll be thin. Hair will grow back on my head. I'll be patient. I'll be this. I'll be that. There are wishes. And wishes don't come true. Wishes don't come true. You have to make a resolution. You have to go from an object being acted upon to a subject who's an actor in our own lives. From a thermometer to a thermostat. It's not a coincidence that there when the Jewish people fail, when we make mistakes, when we come up short, for example, the shimon and many others, the Torah uses a verb over and over and over again. And the verb the Torah uses is falling a and shimon went down and went down. Theel we had a we went down. Why? When the Torah sees us as making a mistake, as coming up short, as having poor judgment, why is it described as as falling salv? Because an object falls. An object is impacted by gravity. An object descends. It crashes and it burns. It fails. When we allow our lives to be objects, when we're passive spectators, couldn't help it. Wasn't my fault. It's my nature. I have my instinct. I have my DNA of those who came before. That's just the way we are. We're always late or we're always angry. We have rage. We have anger issue. That's the way we're jealous. That's who we are. That's what I am. What can I do? When we act like an object, a passive object, it's just the way it is. Then we're destined to fall. We're destined to fail like gravity. The way gravity impacts an object. If we live our life as a gravity will impact us. The great was once asked why do we live in a world why did Hashem create gravity and nim there's a correlary for everything in the physical world for the spiritual world. So what's the spiritual corollary for gravity? Why did Hashem create gravity? I should be able to take this toy that my parents got me. I should let go of it where I'm holding it and should stay where it is. Why does it fall? Why when I move my hands does it drop? What is the message? What is the lesson of gravity? Without hesitating, the said because we need to know that just like in the physical world, there's a gravitational pull. It's always working and acting upon everything. And unless you resist it, unless you fight it, unless you're lifting to go against it, you're going to fall. That's gravity. Gravity is a pull. It's lowering us. And you have to fight it and you have to resist it in order to offset it. What's true physically is true spiritually. There is no neutral. There is no parv. You can't simply coast through life. If you're coasting through life, if you're living off of wishes instead of resolutions, if you see yourself as a spectator and a passive object instead of a subject, gravity will pull you down. Like theelon, the countless others, we will fall. If you see yourself as an object, gravity will pull you down. The Torah tells us we have the opportunity to not just be an object. Don't give in. Don't concede. Don't forfeit. Just like you don't have to let gravity pull things down. We have the strength and we have the capacity when we have the will and when we have the resolve. We can fight gravity. We can ascend. We can lift. We can go up. And it's not a coincidence that the Torah and Kazal whenever they talk about chuva, they talk about change and repair and improvement and transformation. It is always used in the language of ascending. It's always with going uph to be a benali to be going up. Why do we describe improving or growing or redeeming or repairing? Why is that going up? Because you know what goes up? Subject can lift up. an object, gravity pulls down. And that's our choice. That's our choice this year. Every year, but this time of year, we're looking in the mirror and asking ourselves, am I a subject or an object? Am I just a being acted upon? What can I do? It's my spouse. It's my children. It's my boss. It's my rabbi. It's my neighbor. It's the person that's next to me in shul. That's why I am the way I am. I'm just an object acted upon by everyone else. If that's the case, we're going to fall. We're going to fall fast. We're going to fall hard. But we have the opportunity to be a subject, to lift, to lift up, to fight that gravitational pull, to resist gravity, and to do chuva lash lash. Chuva is the answer. We can be the answer. We can return to who we're meant to be, to be our very, very best selves. That's what we're supposed to do. The Raam writes the mitzvah of chauffeur we already are practicing each and every morning right now getting ready to fulfill the biblical mitzvah and rash itself writes all of the chauffeur blowing of cha is a biblical law is a total law there's a there's an illusion as if the chauffeur is saying to us it's like an alarm wake up wake up sleepers from your slumber arise scrutinize and analyze and investigate and take responsibility and accountability for who you are and your actions and your behavior Remember, remember your bor. Remember your creating. Why is rash? Why is this time of year all about waking up? Why are we waking up? Because we're going from objects to subjects. When a person is sleeping, they're an object. They look like an object. They look like they're slay some lazy, good for nothing, endlessly sleeping, procrastinating, lethargic, lying on the couch. They look like an object. It's an object on your couch, fast asleep, an unconscious body. But when we wake up, when we lift ourselves up, when we wake up, we become a subject again. We're animated and we have free will and we have choice. We go from just being a thermometer to a thermostat, from an object to a subject. The problem is problem is that too many people are sleeping even while they're awake. They're even when they're supposed to be a gavra. They're an object even while they're walking around ostensibly as a subject. And the chauffeur, the chauffeur is that alarm clock piercing, waking us up, telling us, "Stop being a passive object. Wake up and be a subject." The Raman quotes to you. When I was a kid, I thought this was a baba misa from my bubby. A bubby misa that you're not supposed to sleep on rash because if you sleep on rash, You're going to have a sleepy year. So the people who every morning report to their SL I couldn't sleep last night. I didn't fall asleep last night. I didn't stay asleep last night. They say I want to sleep on rash because I'd love to have a sleepy year. But it's not just a ma the quotes from no again. We have a practice not to nap or sleep on rash a day and that is a worthy custom. Some are if you're on the chair or the couch, you're not in your bed. If you open up a safer and you fall asleep, what could you do? There's nothing you can do. I am in danger on because as the rabbi, I'm in danger of causing a lot of people to violate this min. It's a problem. So you'll say, "Rabbi, don't speak. It's not a pro. It's not that big a problem. We figure it out. It's not that big a problem. That's why we have the thermostat and we make it freezing cold to keep you awake so that you don't fall asleep on rash. You won't have a sleepy new year. Where does this come from? Where the rama of this year shami the simple understanding is every moment every millisecond of that day is precious inestimable value. Take advantage. Anyone ever coming before a judge who's going to determine the outcome of their life and the lawyer's looking for them and it turns that they're around the corner on the bench in the courthouse. They fell asleep. Anybody who's waiting for the jury to come back, anyone who's waiting for the judge to rule and they fell asleep, never every second you're you're you're waiting, you're praying. So rash every moment learn it away. Don't sleep it away. But I want to suggest to you that maybe this maybe what the Rama is alluding to what the Shami is getting at are allowed to sleep. It's brought down by the Rama. It's only aka we have to stay awake. It's a Ram. But Rashashana is a day. It's a time not to be an object, but to be a subject. Don't take a nap. Don't fall asleep. Don't be lazy. Don't pass out. Push, push, push. You got it. Stay awake. It's game time. Leave it all out on the court. You've got it. It's go time. Rashashana is go time. So dka and rashashana is a day. Don't be a don't be an object. Don't fall asleep. Don't fall down on the couch or in your bed. Be a subject. Rise up. Wake up. Picture and decide where you're going and how you're going to get there. Don't just be filled with wishes, but be filled with endless endless resolutions. Decide and determine how you're going to go. How do we do that? How do we do that? That's our subject for tonight. That's our subject for tonight. So, I want to tell you a few things that I've said before. I'm repeating them. not for you but for myself and I'm not going to apologize for repeating them. I'll tell you why. First of all, because you probably forgot them. But second of all, you know, it's unfair in the Raonas. You hear people say all the time, my rasha loved to say every year pious say myb my rashiva would say, but if the rabbi repeats a well, you had nothing else. You're just recycling. You're just recycling. When it's the reb or the rebi the rashiva they love to repeat they love to say they were very fond of saying but the rav you're not allowed to you know what I'm not going to apologize there are messages we have to repeat we have to repeat so this is an incredible it's a beautiful and this is the to transform your it's relevant the whole year round but particularly this time of year to get us ready in the right mindset and to understand what's our mission what we're trying to do says the following Mosha Mosha back in the Mishkan is being built the vessels in it and Mosha is told build the minora and he doesn't can't make heads and tails build a what how does it go how does it work how is it going to happen because the manura had certain criteria were made from gold but it had to be shaped molded out of one solid piece of gold it was ornate it had many features it was complicated so you understand how technical how difficult it Was this slave nation led by Moshe who had been on the run in Midan and came back? Where'd they get the skill sets? How are they going to succeed in molding a manura out of one solid piece of gold? He didn't know where to begin. He didn't know where to begin. So it says quotes that Hashem showed him. He showed him the blueprints. He showed him the plans for the minora. And once Moshe saw it, he threw the gold in the fire and it came out the minora. A miracle. Hashem was the blacksmith. Hashem was the metal worker. Hashem is the one who made it happen. The asked once he asks it is an obvious question. Anyone remember the come on, make me feel better that I'm repeating it. You're all bal should be rewarded so manyfold for your of making me think it's important because you don't remember it. Ask this the following question. If Hashem was going to make a miracle and do it for him, why did he have to show him the blueprint? Why did Moshe need to see the specs? Why did he need the instructions? Why? If Hashem was going to take care of it, just say to Moshe, "Listen, forget about it. You're Jewish. You have no idea what you're doing. You don't belong in Home Depot. You don't belong in Lowe's. You don't belong touching any tools. Forget about it. Just throw the gold in. I'll take care of it. Why did you have to first show him this picture of what the minor was going to look like? Why do you have to give him the instructions or the blueprint? Says the is the following. We only merit divine assistance. We only get help in meeting and reaching our goal if we begin by having a picture and a plan of what we want. If you have no idea where you're going, anywhere will get you there. What's the goal? What's the destination? Who do we want to be? How do we want to be thought of? What do we want our reputation and our legacy? What's our brand? Who do we want to be? What's your brand? When someone says your name and you're not there to a group of people, how do you want to be thought of? The generous or the stingy? The kind or the insensitive? the cruel, the first to volunteer or the last to be willing to help, the hospitable and generous or the stingy and cheap, the one who's devoted to a real and genuine relationship with Hashem with an ongoing conversation with the Almighty or somebody who's a lost soul. How do you want to be thought of? What's your brand? The first to volunteer to help, to show up, the person who honors their commitment to be on time, or the one who's always running late? You could count on them to be the last one there. What's your brand? If you don't know what you want your brand to be, you'll never have it. How do you want to be thought of? How do you want to be considered? What do you want your reputation to be? What do you want your legacy to be in this life? I don't mean when we're gone. How do we reverse engineer our life so that whatever we want our legacy to be, whatever we want to be said about us, indeed will be said about us. Do we have a picture of the life that we want to live? What does our best davening look like? What does our weekly daily learning look like? What does it mean for me to be the best husband or wife or mother or father or son or daughter or friend? And ever hashem, what does it look like? What's the picture of it? If you don't have a picture of it, Hashem can't and won't give you divine and providential assistance to get there. says this before the miracle could happen before the manura would be provided Moshe first had to see a picture of what it would be he doesn't step in and he doesn't help unless we first have a picture the contractor spent a long time the architect spent a long time the electrical engineer and architect the landscape architect the high voltage and the low voltage architects turns Turns out there's a lot of architects when you do a project. There's a lot of people. You know why? Because if you want a finished product that meets your expectations, if you want a finished product that functions fully, if you want a finished product that you're proud of, that stands safe and secure, then you need to plan. You need pictures. You need detailed plans. You need engineers. Otherwise, you can't build it successfully. And that's what Elul is. That's what we're doing. That's what this time of year is all about, says the Swas. To have a picture, do we have a plan? Are you a subject who's now going to build it? Or are you an object who's just going to fall to wherever gravity takes you? How many people are simply the result, the composite of everything around them? Whatever my parents did, I do. Whatever my friends do, I do. Whatever is in, whatever society, whatever the community, whatever my neighbors, that's what I do. So many people are simply the result, the composite of everything around them. They're an object. They're being molded and shaped by others. They're falling. It's time to be a subject, to rise up, to fight and resist gravity, to determine and dictate our lives, to not just have wishes to wake up one day and be different, but to make a resolution. What's your resolution? What's your resolution? That's the job for El. That's our job for Ell. We're not even up to the construction phase. You can begin. There's some soft construction. There's some sight work that needs to be done on each of us. We're not even up to the hardcore construction. We're not even up to lifting the walls yet. Mashem, please God. Still need a few things to fall into place. Hopefully, the walls are going to be up by Russia Shana. At least the first one. It'll be amazing when you come here and see the progress that's being made. We're not even up to lifting the walls in our lives. the construction, the heavy construction phase. But there's work to be done before. L is the work of a picture and a plan of a resolution of how we're going to get where we want to go. How we'll be the person that we claim we want to be. How we'll live the life that we say we want to live, how to create a brand and a reputation and a legacy that we claim we want to have and the way that we want to be thought of. You can't get there without a picture and without a plan. And you won't make a picture and a plan by accident. And it doesn't happen on its own. It happens if you set aside and make time for it. Our life is happening in super speed. We're living in the age of speed. We're running. We're going. We're doing one thing to the next thing to the next thing. And all of time blends together until it disappears. And we can't believe we wake up and find ourselves at the end of yet another year. Can you believe it's the end of tough pee? It just began. How could it be? It was just last. We were just sitting here having our last cha series. We were just walking into the last rash. It was just Kaneka. It was just tishvat. It was just pur. It was just pesak. Well, how could it be? The answer is time is happening so fast. such supersonic speed that we're living that it takes intention and mindfulness to slow it down to press pause and to say before I continue where do I want to go I've got to put a destination in if this GPS is going to give me directions about how to get there what's my plan what's my purpose what's my resolution who are my resolution partners who are going to hold me accountable what's the system the platform I'm going to use to measure because what gets measured gets managed. What spreadsheet am I going to start for my life this year? Am I going to track what I learn each day? Am I going to track whether I was late, on time, early to davening? Am I going to track the quality time I spent with the people around me I claim to love? Am I going to track if I'm really giving stucka and the micer that I think in my head I give? Are we just going to have resolutions to wake up and be different? Or are we ready to have a picture and make a plan? Will we be able to look back at the end of next year and say, "What a successful year." My scorecard, my scorecard reveals a winning year. My plans came to fruition. I fulfilled the promise in me. What's next? What's my next mission? What's my next purpose? How can I take it from here? Our plan and our picture is not the same. Say, "Rabbi, what do I need that for?" Torah tells us, "Have good What does God want from you? Just this list of things. So just do it. Keep have good midos. What's the big deal, right? Judaism and life are not a one-sizefits-all. Is expecting and wants something different from each and every one of us. And that is the essence and the core of life. And it's also what Ell's all about. The begins his with a gamechanging statement. He describes the foundation of righteousness and the root of serving hemod she is. Let me repeat that. The foundation of righteousness and the root of a genuine service of Hashem is to clarify the and to discover the truth for a person to ask themselves a simple question. We have to ask ourselves a question and the question is what is your mission? What is your purpose? It does not say In the world, it says the olo. What's the difference between bathe the world and mo doesn't mean the world. It means in your world, his world, her world. Old editions of translations mistransated. They say the foundation of righteousness and the root of holiness is to clarify and to ask yourself what is your mission in the world. But that's not what it says. It doesn't say the world. What does it say in your world? What's the difference between the world and your world? The world is one big generic. Everyone's in a box. Everyone looks the same cookie cutter oneizefits-all world. But that's not the world. Each and every one of us are a world unto ourselves. When we save a life, we save the whole world. And if we take a life, we've destroyed a world because each of us is a unique expression manifestation of the hashem in this world in the world. And we are a world onto ourselves, a whole world. And our challenge and our mission is not to compete and not to compare and not to keep up with other people because we're not living in their world and they are not in our world. We each have a unique and distinct world. My parents, my ancestors, my socioeconomic status, my talents, my skills, my mental health, physical health, emotional health, spiritual health, my circumstance, my life creates my world. There's no one else in it. My world is unique and distinct from me. And given who I am, my strengths and my weaknesses, my talents, my liabilities, where I come from and who I am, what is my mission that says is the quintessential question. That is the question for this time of year to ask ourselves not once in life, who do I want to be when I grow up? What is my mission and purpose? Why am I here? to ask it every day, ideally, but minimally once a year, to evaluate and re-evaluate. How has my world changed since last year? For some, it's changed and improved incredibly for the better. For others, they've sustained or endured a hardship, a loss, a challenge. Their world was rocked and their world was changed. None of our worlds are exactly the way they were a year ago. Over the last year, our world has changed. The world has changed. And our individual worlds have changed. And within our own world, what's my mission? What's my purpose? Hashem, what's my assignment? What's next? It doesn't say, what are my privileges? Other memberships come with privileges. Oo, you made mosaic. What are the privileges? Oh, you got an AMX gold. What the privileges? Oh, you're a hush of a member of Costco. What are the privileges? You join the pillar society at BRS. What are the privileges? You join AAA, what are the privileges? This gym, if I join, what kind of privileges? Every other membership memberships have their privileges. Yiddish kite and Judaism teach that in the world, you're not born and you don't wake up on any given day and say, "No, Hashem, where are my rights and privileges? What do I get? What do I get? What do I get for being alive? What do I get for being here another day? What are my rights and privileges? No. No. We wake up and we say, "I'm awake. I'm alive. I'm here another day. What are my responsibility? What's my mission? What's my purpose? What are my duty? What are my obligations?" Because we're not entitled to anything. There is nothing that we deserve and nothing we're entitled to. And nothing in our lives that is a given. And with whatever we have and however we wake up and whoever we are the question we ask ourselves is not what are myos what am I what are my privileges what are my rights what do I have coming no it's so what's my mission what's my purpose what's my duty what's my obligation what's my responsibility not what can I take from this world what can I give to the world and our world as our world is not the same as anyone else's is our world right now is not the way it was a year ago. And it's a question that has to be asked over and over and over again. Given my new world, who I am, my season of life, my rhythm of life, what's happening in my family, what's happening in my world, what am I meant to do next? Not just let momentum carry us. Don't just coast and go through life. Don't just be a composite product of everything and everyone around you. don't live the same year over and over again and call it a life. So many people are filled with such regret because they live the same year over and over and over again and call it a life. Each year has to be different. Each year we have to ask ourselves new what's the blueprint? What are the plans? What's the picture? What's my resolution for this year for being the best version of myself? How will I measure whether I was successful? When I get to next level and I look back, how will I know if I fulfilled my promise? If I became who I thought I was meant to be, if I don't articulate, if I don't have a picture and a plan, if I don't make a resolution, then I'll never get there. This is what Hashem wants from us. writes on the which Hashem literally tells us that what does Hashem want from you? And then the Torah gives us a list. Torah gives us a list says that doesn't say what does God want? What does your country ask? What does God ask? It says may what does Hashem ask of you? Why of you? Because what Hashem asks of you is different than what he's asking of your neighbor or your friend or even your spouse or your children. The question we ask and pose ourselves is not what does he want generically. What does he want? We all have to look the same, act the same, vote the same, be the same, observe the same, think the same, do the same. No, each of us is unique and distinct. Each is a world unto ourselves. Each have a purpose and a mission for why we're here and why we woke up this day. And the question Hashem is asking, what does he want from you? So according to the root of your is not the same as someone else. Who are you? And what period are you living in and what's going on? What does the moment call for tshin p and going into tshin pv this moment the Jewish condition in the world what's happening in Israel our brothers and sisters I have a nephew went back in today and another nephew who's leaving his wife and children to go back in next week what is this kufa what is this condition of the Jewish people what is it call for from us there can't be fatigue we can't fail to answer the call for our people in our community for our family for ourselves elves and each of us are a soldier. Each of us are unique and distinct. Each of us have a mission and a purpose. And each of us need to make a plan to have a picture of who we want to be to determine what's the scorecard. How are we going to measure whether we got there? Because what gets measured gets managed. And if you're missing the clarity, if you don't have clarity, imagine you meet with the contractor, you meet with the architect, the wall will go somewhere around here. The window will be somewhere over there. It'll be uh something like this tall. I don't know. It'll all work out. Are you going with that contractor? Are you making the last payment to that architect? No. Show me exactly precision. Is it accurate? I need to see a rendering. Today, today you have the ability. If you're willing to spend the money, the architect can provide a virtual reality 3D image. You can take a tour and you can walk into and you can touch where you're going to build before ever the first bulldozer comes to the property because the more there's clarity in the plan, the more likely it'll come to fruition. It'll be fulfilled. The more the structure will be built, writes, "If you don't have clarity, a clear picture, there's not a rendering, there's not a plan, Shalom of your unique duty of your unique responsibility in Shalom in your world on your job, your mission, your fate. If you're wandering and if you're walking and if you have no idea where you're going, then you certainly will never get there. If you don't have a clear picture, where are you going in tough shin pav? Where are you going in tough shinpev? And I don't care how old you are, what stage of life you are, if you're working, if you're retired, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You could be a hundred year old. What's your plan for this year? What's your plan? What's your purpose? What are you going to accomplish? How will you look back and measure success? What kind of person? What's your brand in your inter interactions and relationships with others? In your interactions and relationship with Hashem, in your interaction in relationship with yourself. This is what this time of year, this is what this is all about. And we're never done. We're never finished. I think it was Toltoy who said, "Everyone wants to change the world. Nobody wants to change themselves. But the way to change the world is to change ourselves. Don't be satisfied with being an object. Don't sleep on Russashana and don't sleepwalk through this year. Don't let gravity pull you down. Don't just be a be a gavra. Man up in the generic sense. You're still allowed to say that. This is a safe space. Generic man, woman up, kid up, girl up, boy up, child up. man up. Stop blaming. Stop making excuses. Stop pointing a finger. Your DNA is not your destiny. Where you come from is not where you're going. And don't blame everyone and everything around you. Don't be afraid our year. Our year. Hashem is ready to step in and help just like he did with Moshe and the minora. If we have a clear picture of what we want, he'll help us get there. He'll help us get it. He'll help us become who we want to be. But it'll never happen if we don't have that picture. It can't happen if we don't have that picture. So this is our year. Don't just have wishes. Don't think you're going to wake up on Mot Rashashana or Motum Kipper or Mo Sukus and you're going to wake up to have that life or be that person that you wish to be. Don't be satisfied with wishes. Don't make a wish. You're starting a new organization. Make a resolution. Make a resolution. Foundation. Don't make a wish. Make a resolution. Write it down. Tell others who can hold you accountable. Create a spreadsheet and metrics and a scorecard of how you'll measure it. For each of us, it'll look different. Is this our year to focus on between us and others, between us and God, between us and ourselves? Some the year to whip our health into shape, our health and wellness, to finally tackle it. And all the wishes, I really wish I did push-ups this morning. I really wish I did sit-ups. I really wish I didn't eat that. I really wish I weighed that. I really wish I went on that machine. I really wish I went for that walk. Guess what? Those scale doesn't care about your wishes. And the blood test doesn't care about your wishes. And your annual doesn't care about your wishes. What's the resolution you're going to make? How will you measure it and know you succeeded? It could be spiritual health. More times making it to minion. Making it to minion more on time. Less talking or doing minion. Could be a resolution. Each year my wife and I try to communicate with each other. Our cabala is our resolution for that year. And I have to tell you the small things have enormous impact. Enormous impact. A resolution. I'm not going to bring my phone into shul. Okay? If you make the resolution for shabas, it can be relatively easy if you're show. So that doesn't count. That's like the people who sign up not to speak lashar from 3 to 4 a.m. Such a sadic. what is but make a resolution not to bring a phone into shul the rest of the week you know a difference it'll be for your doning couple years ago I made a resolution I wouldn't touch technology till after havala before that I used to at the end of shabas marv was over in shul I'd sit in my office for a minute I'd go back on my laptop or phone before I went home and greeted the new week with all that had what happened in the world what's new let me check let me see by the time I came home for Abdullah. I was already o shabas o mench. I was already not in shabas not in this world. It was over. So I made a resolution. No matter how long it waits for this kid to come home, we can't make Abdullah. This one's not ready. I'm not touching technology till after Abdullah. I have got to get into this touch with this person or we've got to make that flight or this is going to be gone. Not touching technology. Hold on and stretch Shabas a little bit longer, a little bit later. Is the weekday so great that you can't wait for Shabas to end? Is the weekday so wonderful that you're running back? And that's true sometimes for women, ladies who are at home waiting for the person who's going to come home. They're shleing, they're smoozing, they're whatever. Don't touch technology a little bit longer. Read, say to him, learn, talk to somebody a little bit longer. Everyone has to make their own resolution of what they want to do. I started a spreadsheet. I'm not sharing this to flex or show off because I have a lot that I didn't fulfill, but I'm trying to give it as an example to motivate. Last year, I started a spreadsheet that had several lines of things that for years I had claimed I wanted to do. But the spreadsheet doesn't lie. You either did your push-ups or you didn't. You did your sit-ups, you didn't. You did your You thought I was going to get through this. You did your ice bath, your ice plunge, or you didn't. What's the last time at night you ate? If you spent your life hating yourself because you eat a bag of potato chips on the way to bed and never feel good, then stop talking. Stop wishing you're going to stop and start holding yourself accountable by recording what's the last time that you ate. Make a promise. This is when I stop eating and see whether you keep up to it. Track how many hours of sleep you got because getting enough sleep turns out to be really important to be an EV Hashem. Track what time you got to show. There's so many things. Did you have that date night that you claimed you cared to have? Did you set aside to spend time even if it's virtually with each child wherever they live every day, every week? Don't just wish because you wish you won't wake up to find it true. But if we make resolutions that this is our year to no longer be objects but become subjects, then Hashem will look back at tough pav and see our best year yet. Thank you so much for coming.