Be a WARRIOR, not a WORRIER | Living with Emunah #363

Good morning and Boerto. Welcome back to living with Amuna on a morning that Claudia shall need a lot of amuna. >> Not an easy night last night. Maybe we'll talk more about maybe we won't. But uh we all need to lean into our amuna on nights like last night on mornings like this morning. As always, we begin with an attitude of gratitude. Grateful to Hashem for every blessing in our life and grateful to those who make it happen. So a big thank you to Dr. Avian Bella Morgan who sponsored our series in memory of Rabbi Dr. Brian Galbin in memory of Bella's mother Dr. Ellen Chanzer for Shmira for our holy IDF soldiers generously sponsored as well in memory of the 30 fallen soldiers and alumni of Ben Davidid Mkina and yes this week highlighting Amishar Ben Davidid Hashem Yakum Damo 43 reserve major in the commander brigade he fell in combat in Gaza was a married father of five lived in a man of kindness he had donated a kidney to a stranger he was a high school educator he was a volunteer m David dome he had studied at Ben David and Ai, these were gems of people, angels, heroes that were lost. We continue to honor their memory and we're grateful to our sponsor who each week is highlighting another one to allow us to learn in their memory. This morning she is sponsored by Myers for Abdas Ba in memory of Judy Grunbam on her 30th yearite the grandmother of Rabbi Ari and Rachi Mzov and Reena and Shami Burkowitz. Nama should have an aliyah. Nama should have an aliyah. Okay, a few emails, few miscellaneous. And back to our text. We're so excited. A super generous, incredible member of our community donated 70 copies of what we're learning. Share file. So, take one. They're here for you. If you're here regularly, if you're just a visitor passing through, it's your lucky day. You get to go home with a souvenir, a takeaway from Bocarone Synagogue. So, take one. We're not going to make copies. Bring it back. This is what we're learning from. If you don't live here, in case last night didn't give you another reason to move here, but getting a free copy of a safer is I say that not lightly. God forbid, not to make light of what people are or may, God forbid, go through, but um but you come take your copy. Dear Rabbi Gberun, moment of the day. We're buying our first home in Israel this morning. Had an appointment in your to sign on our mortgage. Well, my son woke up not feeling great, so getting out to school took longer, leading us to leave later and not leaving me a chance to davin. Because of this, I had my husband drive so I could d on the way. This led him to taking the back road out of where we live, which always has traffic. As I watched the ways time creep up, I quietly thanked Hashem. And since I was mid daven, I didn't say anything passively negative about the route. That's the first thank you, Hashem. In other words, instead of getting into a fight, being critical, why'd you go this way or that way, even with the way he's creeping up? Traffic eventually flowed, but we were now running 10 minutes late. About 10 minutes before our ETA, a car started beeping us in quick succession on the driver's side. We didn't know what they wanted to tell us. Few minutes later, they were on our other side beeping again. I rolled down my window and the driver said, "Your car exhaust is full of smoke." He made this face that said, "You better slow down and stop." By then, we were seven minutes away and we didn't see anything else weird in the car, so we kept going. The other car hovered near us for a few good minutes of the drive, making a new new face like, "Why aren't you pulling over?" I'm going to guess it went with like a with three minutes left to the bank, we decided we'll check the car when we arrive. Well, we arrived safely and saw, hey, no smoke. Took us until after our appointment to figure out our car was in fact fine. It was even serviced two weeks ago. In hindsight, the details of the friendly man and his friend was likely a trap for us to stop the car. It was then I realized that Hashem in fact protected us. If we had not been running late, we probably would have stopped. But thanks to the earlier chain of events, sick kids, late start, we in fact did not stop, which saved us from something for sure. It was an easy detail to be missed, but living in an odd post-war movement in Israel, we have no idea what fate waited for us if we stopped, grateful to see y Hashem in that moment. So again, you live life, you can complain or be negative or frustrated or you could see the hand of Hashem and the hug of Hashem and understand why things happen the way they happen. And this is the argument from her of why. Dearb Goldberg, I have lots of lots of gratitude for the many hours and kilometers you filled my car with and as I drive around Israel doing home visits as a social worker. I work in rehab program. Don't take a cop. Take a copy of the book. I work I work in rehab program for victims of domestic violence and your podcast gave me a lot of perspective. The lend is real. Last week I heard a vort from Joey Habra on stories to inspire. It was so good. I called up all my family members individually to share. One of the six questions we'll be asked in Shmayim. One of the six questions we get asked when we get up to heaven is after 120 peel Yeshua which typically is translated to mean did you long for the gula for redemption did you wait and long for mashia did you long for mashiach >> but said peishashem did you live with amun that is in control and truly believe hashem is with you and he'll always come through for you is not a question of did you long for and wait for what in fancy words means the esqueological era are you impressed Yes. >> Esqueologgical means most of Mashiach, the time of Mashiach. Did you sit? Did you wait? Did you long? Did you yearn? Did you contribute towards? Did you anticipate for when Mashiach will come? Which is also one of the questions and we all should be able to answer please God. Yes. But he suggested what it means is in our own lives with whatever we're going through and waiting for peaceu. Did you become hopeless and helpless? Did you despair or see peace Yeshua? Did you wait and long for the hand of Hashem? Wow, what a great vort. What a great amuna email. It was an amuna email. That was an amunto. It's also a great amuna email and I loved it. I think it also does connect to last night and what we're going through. I saw shared with me and posted honestly it's not a it's what we've been talking about and what we learn about and what we're trying to live which was we are constantly talking about and I'd have to say many of the emails I get revolve around this tension between initiative and effort and faith and trust in Hashem. What happened last night is is a front row is ground zero for us to be working on that histadas is the effort we put in in advance. Histadas is to campaign and advocate and lobby and contribute and to work with every fiber of our being that an unrepentant anti-semite anti-Israel person is not elected. That was the that was the effort in advance after the results and the come in the conclusion of an election amuna and recognizing it's all part of Hashem's master plan. That's where amuna comes in. That's where amuna comes in. If a yid at last night or this morning looks at the results and feels despair and hopeless and the writing is in the wall and there's no future. That's a failure and a breakdown. I'm sorry to say of the hearts of kings is in the hand of Hashem and all that happens all that happens it comes from him and none of us can predict and none of us know. We don't know what will be and I say this with sympathy and empathy and love and care and concern for our brothers and sisters and frankly for everyone in New York. We don't know but we also don't know what could be a positive outcome that was only precipitated that this became a catalyst of that who was elected in the future what policy passed what things were swayed how how a tide was turned a momentum shifted we have no idea so beforehand we do beforehand every effort with every fiber of our being to influence and impact mold and shape our destiny and future but when results come in when a conclusion is reached Then we surrender and submit. We trust in Hashem. We don't trust princes and politicians. We have faith only and singularly in the Almighty. I could give countless examples just in the few years, let alone my lifetime, let alone Jewish history, that we moaned and wailed and cried when we thought something was absolute disaster. And it turned out it was part of a formula that Hashem a planned that he had. And there were other times that we gleefully rejoiced. We thought our candidate won. We thought this was the promise of a perfect future. It turns out that person wasn't what we thought they were and it wasn't what we cracked up to be and it didn't go our way. So, Hashem has a plan. Hashem has a plan. And will that plan mean Jewish migration? Will that plan mean some difficult days ahead? Will that plan mean some catalyst for some consequence or outcome that we can't even anticipate right now? We don't know. But what we do know is that with all the work that we do and there's now new work to be done. I'm not saying means become passive and complacent, there's now a whole new round of work to be done for the Jewish community, for the US New York Israel relationship. There's now a whole new round of work to be done. But it means we do it. We do it with a sense of how much time did we spend on learning about is equinimity. Last night and this morning, our histavas is being put to the test. Our high shouldn't be too high and our lows shouldn't be too low. And our excitement or glee with what we think is a good outcome shouldn't be too great because we don't know. And our sense of frustration or disappointment or concern shouldn't be too low because we don't know that something's truly a negative outcome. The shiavas of it's all the same to me that we're working on or should be working on that we learned and talked about. This is where the rubber meets the road on mornings like this on days like this. I'm not saying that you should say, "Ah, this is great. It's Hashem's plan. Yay. You didn't have to go blow up balloons and and put streamers in your house last night or today." But what I am saying is as we respond and reflect with concern and action, we also do it with an equinimity. Our highs aren't too high and our lows aren't too low. We do it with a sense that it's all part of Hashem's plan. And we wait to see on this adventure and this journey of Judaism what comes next, where we go from here, what happens next. It's not easy. I don't mean to suggest when I'm saying this that this is easy. It's not easy what I'm saying. But what's the alternative? What's the alternative? It's not easy, but I do believe that this is what's demanded of us. This is what this moment calls for and other moments like it is to be able to bring that that response. So that's part of the voice of Yeshua. That's part of the V that we just got in that great email. Thank you for the email. That's Rabbi Joey Habber. Thank you Joey Haber. That's what Yeshua means. Not just that I long for some Messiah, that I want this great future, which by the way is a very good question. There's a great Jewish comedian who I know since he's a child. He's hilarious and I love him and he's wonderful. And he did a whole bit this past summer where he was visiting bungalows in New York and he looked around and he said, "The people who live here, their worst nightmare is Mashiach coming." Like the happiness and the joy, the barbecues and shakureri boards, the kdishes and the tequila bar, the like like if Mashiach came, it's like their worst nightmare. Okay, that's his routine. I'm not judging anyone anywhere. We should ask ourselves though, is Msiah coming our worst nightmare or a dream come true? Do we feel the hole in our heart and the absence in our lives? Do we realize that fear and fright that we were filled with this morning? Is this 1930s again? My we learned at the kola booker early mornings. He said to me this morning, we went to elementary school together and then we went to yeshiva together and we're still learning. He said to me this morning, he said, "Do you remember, which is true, in elementary school we watched a movie, a film we were shown. Did anyone see this called the wave? >> The wave. >> Did anyone see the wave? >> And the wave was a story about how could it be that Hitler rose to power? How could the Nazis have taken over Germany, a Nazi party, how could decent people have been turned to be able to perpetrate a genocide, six million, and it showed how the ideas seeped in, how the election, how the the PMIC and the rhetoric and in the beginning of the movie it was an impossibility. And by the end it was like obvious how it happened. Was anyone else haunted by the wave? Probably shouldn't have shown a group of like middle school kids, elementary school kids. It was a different time. We were made tougher back then. So they showed us this wave. So my said to me this morning, it's like that movie we saw in elementary school. It feels a little bit like it. Like, how could it be an unrepentant, unapologetic, explicit anti-semite, anti-ionist, anti-Israel who ran on that platform? How could it be? Forget that he ran. How could it be that 50% of New Yorkers, including 30% of Jews who voted voted for him? How could it be? You didn't come this morning for my for my uh analysis, election analysis at Living with Amuno special edition. We're not going to do an election analysis. But my point is when he said that to me, there's like a pit in your stomach. Taka, it's like the wave. Wow. That's where peaceful Yeshua comes in. Do you realize that's gullus? That's gullus. Yes. We got kosher restaurants and shakuri boards and tequila bars and we've got all kinds of I don't know kala recipes andriccolored geila fish and every Jewish pizza store has sushi and and we're living in remarkable and extraordinary times. nhivas and kolum and and women seminaries and learning opportunities and you know what with all that this is gull that 30% of our brothers and sisters voted for someone who wants their own demise is is is tragic it's sad I think we have to love them and fill them with light what I wrote about last week not everybody agreed many disagreed vehemently uh even those who never disagree with me yeah Ben I'm talking about you even those they disagree with me and that's okay but we have We have to love them. We have to love them nonetheless. But that's gullis. That's the hole in our heart. That's the peace of Yeshua. But Joey Haber is encouraging us Yeshua is not only the collective, the big, the national, the peoplehood, the esqueological era of Messiah. Yeshua means whatever I'm going through, do I do I believe that however this turns out is what he wants from me is the outcome that he believes is best. And I long for that salvation. And I know that is going to come. I want to introduce myself in such and such a place. I'm now a Bakar in New York City. I became Bacha three years ago. The transformation has been incredible. After a year of becoming firm, I went to Israel to grow and immerse myself, which meant putting a pause on work and focusing on yeshiva. I have incredible parents who supported me along the way. Even pushed me to stay longer in Israel. After a little more than a year and a half, I decided I needed to push I needed to move back to the States and began transitioning from the amazing time at Nisha to focus on Parnosa and Shidim. Over the summer, I was able to get a job working part-time for one of my friends in the tech world. Things were going great. But after a few months, all of a sudden, he told me he didn't want contractors 1099 anymore and I was on the chopping block. While knowing that Hashem runs the world, and this is obviously the best thing for me, or else it why would it have happened? Feeling that Hashem had my back was a different story. I began to feel like I was abandoned. I was confused. It took the confidence out of me dating and was really difficult. I felt I was right back where I was only a few months ago. It was really frustrating. But I knew the only thing I could pull myself out of this was to apply to as many jobs as I could. 200 plus applications later, some bit, most rejected. Of the few I was having interviews with, many of them would stop responding after a great first round. This feeling of rejection was very difficult. Even though I know people around me that have been searching for a job for a long time, been able to have a relationship with Hashem. For me, each day that went by was extremely hard. Right around circus time this year, I got a final round interview of a job I was really excited about. It would be utilizing some of this new skills that I got from the summer job as well. Being remote, things were feeling like I was on the right track. Each interview that I did, I felt more and more confident. Hashem had lined up the perfect job for me. After each great interview, I said, "Miss Misoda to thank Hashem for the interview, and I felt like everything was coming together." However, just two hours before Shabas, after four interviews and two weeks of patience, I got a general email telling me I didn't get the job. I never felt disappointed in Hashem like that. I was so confused and I didn't understand. I felt like I did everything that I had to and that many things were going to come together beautifully, but instead just another dead end that made me feel yet again so lost. Hashem for my parents and community for being amazing people. lean on, be able to open up. I was struggling. The community that exists in the Orthodox world is the greatest feeling in the world. I knew that eventually things would work out, but it was hard, but I got up and kept applying, but I'll give you the ending. Hashem, I just started a new job today. I'm doing exactly what I was doing over the summer, and it's remote, which I can travel to see family and be in community back home. So excited about this job and thanking Hashem every day. Thank you for the sheer and support not just in bokeh but they made amuna muscle stronger and made me a better yid on the new granddaughter. You and your family should only know and amen. >> Okay, these hard times are examples of as we go through them as we're waiting and longing from them and during them. Do we feel that? Do we feel that? One more email. When I wrote my first letter, I secretly hope the next time I'd be in your inbox, I'd be sharing a happy ever after update tied with a shiny ribbon and a poster of my son opening for Ishaibo. That is not the letter. That is not this letter. I don't know if you remember this letter. Her son musical going into the army. Would he give up the music career in order to serve in combat? What should he do? You remember that letter? Well, then you need to go back and listen to Living with Amuna instead. This is a story of exercising the amuna muscle you so often talk about when things don't neatly fall in place. I've had the close to watch my son along with his fellow friends and soldiers continue to draw strength from their faith while serving in Gaza under grueling conditions attending the funeral of friends enduring extended service and in my son's case watching his music career sit patiently in the corner. Their amuna shines through in the smallest moments believing they are exactly where they're meant to be even in a combat zone for more than a year without showers, air conditioning, reliably hot food or visits home for 30 days or more at a time. I believe that Amuna comes from the certainty that Hashem has them right where they're met where he wants them to be. Back to the show story I want to share today. After having to pass up many opportunities due to his army service, there came an unexpected twist. A major reality talent show, the kind that can turn a singer into a household name, reached out and invited him to audition. They scouted and were so excited about his coming on. They were understanding of him being in and out of Gaza and were skipping him to the third round. Imagine that. I'll admit our first thought was, "Wow, Hashem just sent a kiss and a hug." And honestly, it felt amazing. But opportunities are not always what they seem. After careful thought, many conversations, and guidance from his RV, he realized that as much as this would certainly help his career, it wasn't the right stage for a religious yeshiva boy to step onto. Wow. Perhaps that kiss from Hashem wasn't meant to be a doorway, but a reminder that his music continues to be enjoyed, valued, and that he hasn't been forgotten. So he said no. But we know from his shir and the letters that you shared that amuna isn't only about waiting for doors to open. Sometimes it's about choosing which ones to leave closed and believing that the right door will open when the time is right. Your munir continues to inspire him, myself and our entire family. It's the perspective that keeps us grounded gives meaning to every twist in the story. I hope the next update will be the one where everything finally falls into place. The ending we've been hoping for. Or maybe he'll have the opportunity to update you personally when his music tour takes him to Bokeh. If you're not in awe of our soldiers, look at this yeshiva boy who's been waiting, fighting in Gaza, is given his chance and turned it down. Now, you might dismiss that as, "Yeah, obviously you should turn that down. That's not the right place for yeshiva boy." Look at the sacrifice. Look at the nephesh not only risking his life and being in fighting in Gaza, but what a story. What a story. These are our heroes. Shiva boys fighting on front lines being Mos nephesh in so many ways. Endless admiration and love and fela for his success in everything that he does. Two more things to quickly share and then we get back into our text. One, I was in New York last week and this was the car in front of me. This was the license plate. >> I had to take a picture. Psalm 113. Last week we got the guy with the jersey. Psalm 23. I don't know what message Hashem is sending me. Last week, we've got a guy wearing a tank top jersey. Psalm 23. That was his number. That was the team he was playing on. And this time, we have a license plate. Psalm 113. If you look up Psalm 113, anyone know what it is? Hollow. So, I looked it up. Got me thinking. I don't know what the message was, but it it was a message. A wink, a hug, a nod. It was uh it was something. The other I met a wonderful young woman who as she was making her way through college and graduate school in a long line of dating and uncertainty in it. She has, you could see it is a very crumpled up piece of paper that she sits down and puts on her desk every time she sat down to do schoolwork, every time she sat down to look at another resume or reach out to another shahan or figure out her next stop. And this was something she typed up in large font for herself. And you could see how worn and used this paper is. and she put it down on her desk and still does each time she sits down for her schoolwork to center and ground her and it says, "Keep going, Aigal. Hashem loves you." And it was her daily reminder through the daily grind. Keep going. Hashem loves you. And now she's engaged. She just had her vortem soon to be married and but also I loved it because again, we've got our stickers. Mine is so worn off on the back of my phone. We got the luggage tag and the stickers and the coffee mugs that we're going to figure out a way to make it available to everybody and easy. Not because we make any money off of it or we want to become famous through it. Our name doesn't appear anywhere on it, but because it enhances and enriches life. I use that cup every morning and every morning blureyed and half asleep. I would have swallowed the braha faster than the coffee if not for the cup reminding me to caffeinate with kavang. So this is another one. Keep going. Hashem loves you. That should be the home screen of our phone and a sticker on our computer and on the steering wheel and on the mirror and everywhere to remember even in those hard times and moments to be patient. Hashem loves you. Every week we put out in our lobby the here's my story. This is put out by here's my story is the testimony of somebody else who met the Reb. The Reb's impact on their life. Another story. I read it every week. I love it. I always get something from it. But particularly this week I loved the language in it. This is someone who kept going back and forth to the Reb, had meetings, and they uh were anxious about things and stressed out and had big decisions to make and didn't know what to do. And at one point, the Reb said to this woman, "One time when I confided in the Reb about some of my fears and concerns, I was always worried about everything. He told me, quote, I love this. We got to put this on something." Don't be a worrier. Be a warrior. >> Don't be a worrier. Be a warrior. Now again, we're not talking about clinical anxiety, clinical worry that needs help, support, no judgment or shame. We're talking about the general Jewish worrying. So the Reb looked and he said, "Don't be a worrier. Be a warrior. Channel that worry. Take the energy and the time spent on worry and be a warrior." When I saw that license plate and when I met that girl was all last week I was in New York. Last week in New York on Thursday, you may recall, was a horrific downpour, weather, insanity in New York, coupled with the government shutdown, every flight from LaGuardia that was going that evening was delayed or cancelled. And mine kept saying on time. And I mistakenly, I'm embarrassed and ashamed to tell you, spent a good part of the day checking, worrying, trying to manipulate and control. Should I switch to this other? should I book the next morning just in case? How will I figure it out? Guess what? Of all the flights that night and there were two gates next to each other in LaGuardia. Both LaGuardia JetBlue to Fort Lauderdale. One was 3:30 in the afternoon. Mine was 8:20 p.m. My 8:20 p.m. The 3:30 in the afternoon had not yet left and our 8:20 left on time. And I looked back and felt how much energy and anxiousness, how much gigabytes of texting back and forth with YV and JetBlue and Lee did I waste and spend worrying about something that never happened. It was okay all along. Again, I'm not saying sometimes you shouldn't try to get on a different flight, make plans, react and respond. Of course, we should. But without ever just unemotional, we should try to regulate ourselves equinimity without the channel the energy of being a worrier instead into being a warrior. >> And I say that about the election results too. What will be what's going to happen? I can't believe it. This is the end. Stop it. Stop. Don't be a worrier. Go be a warrior. There are things to do, differences to make, actions to take. Channel and pivot. Stop being a worrier and start being a warrior. We're on page in we have a copy for everyone in attendance. If you didn't yet get yours, please feel free to come and take one. If you took one, please bring it back each week because that's what we're going to be learning from. So, we're not making copies. Please bring it back each week. We're in the bottom lefth hand column. And has been developing the idea. I hope you appreciate we don't spend like threequarters of the year on emails and they barely learn Torah. We try to weave in Torah throughout the emails also. Then we open the text. Okay, I said that it just makes me feel better. I don't think any of you were really thinking that. But anyway, now I feel better. Okay, bottom left column of page page 125 125 bottom of the lefth hand column. If someone's sitting near you can't find the place, help them find it. And ladies, this is a great way to learn. My library at home is filled with books that are marked up. When you take a lookbook from the public library, god forbid you shouldn't go anywhere near it with a pen, a marker, a highlighter. You're not allowed to touch it. And that is often a secular view of books. The Jewish view of books is wear them out. Underline and scribble and asterisk and write notes in the margins. And that is the greatest gift that you can bequath your children and grandchildren is that they will be trying to make sense of your little notes and your underlines and your scribbles and your highlights and they will be blown away. They will be blown away and realize you'll try to make sense of it. Last night I was kazaring with my son's gumar babakama. He had his gar in school. So I took out one of my old babaakas. I was so excited to show him shai. I used to once be somebody I used to once learn too. And look the whole babakama. There's underlines and there's notes in the margins. And I was reading the notes in the margins and I have no idea what I was talking about. I have no idea what I was alluding to or what I was saying. I don't know because then I was immature and now I'm such a greater learner or because then I was really learning all day and really understood it and now I work for a living neb. I don't know which one. But I was proud and excited to show him, look at my bubbakama. It's not pure and pristine. The binding's broken and it's underlined all over and there's scribbles throughout. So take this and make it your own. We say in we're going to get into it. We say in the first the first in the first chapter of we say it's your Torahem but is your desire and in his Torah he delves all day long. How did it go from Torah to Torah? So it's a Torah of God to your Torah. The answer is by breaking the binding by scribbling. Make a kenyan, a choir tora, make it your own. Don't passively listen to some shear. You're passively listening. Take it. Let it look worn out. Break the binding. Underline, scribble, highlight a text. Show something that jumps out to you. Write the English over it. Write the English over it. You know, when I was in high school, I had a wonderful Jewish education, wonderful parents, but my learning level needed some improvement. And I went to Marshako summer. Back then, we didn't have art. I'm not that old, but art scroll was just coming out with its different makas. But we had, do you remember the red sansenos? Like an old English thus and yay and a priori and a foriori and all that. I don't know Latin. Half of it was Latin. I had a sincino and my it was a garam rashana. I still have this at home. It's one of my prized possessions. I sat that summer with the sansino and with a gamarra rashana and I copied the English over every word. The entire msaka rashash shana. I learned it through by copying the English over every word. Over every word and to this day, if I'm learning a safer and there's a word I don't understand, I write it on top. I learned a new word, a new translation. So, make this through the gift and the generosity of a dear friend and an amazing person in our community. You now all have your own copy. Make it your own. Write the words on top you don't understand. Underline a phrase that jumps out to you. Break that margin. Wear it out. And let whoever discovers it one day be impressed that you were involved in I shouldn't say impressed should be inspired. Inspired. I have to read slower now. After King David requested, we've learned until now. Psalm 23, the Lord is my shepherd. I shall not lack. Not I shall not lack because he's my shepherd. But let me never lack. knowing he's my shepherd, let me always and forever know he's my shepherd. So after King David, after David said, "God, let me always feel your presence in my life. Let me never suffer or struggle with feeling you're not there." He continues, he requested further, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil. Even when I'm going through a crisis, even the Jewish people are going through a hard time where the kindness and compassion of Hashem are not revealed to the eye. Even in those moments, I will fear no evil. I don't care who gets elected where. I don't care what the lab results show. I don't care what's happened, what the shan said. I don't care what they got back to me about the job interview. Even when I'm walking, I don't care going in and out of Gaza. Even when walking through gay saves low er even when I can't see you visibly, even when it's not obvious, even when you're not revealed and explicit, but I still fear no evil because I know you're there. How many hostages found God in tunnels in captivity? Stories that are still coming out are mindblowing. If you haven't read Alisha Rabi's hostage what he talks about faith he found down there how many and tal to Alulah sat in made a bra it's unbelievable not all and not all everything but the faith that they found begates in the valley of the shadow of death even when hashem was not visible or revealed or obvious and then continues and asks May goodness and kindness pursue me. May loving kindness chase after me. Whether it's revealed loving kindness or hidden loving kindness, whether it's in small quantity revealed and through the power of faith, let us merit to transform good to kindness. So he's breaking down he's breaking down Psalm 23 first it starts God you're my shepherd and I don't just want to talk about you I want to know the shepherd I want to feel the shepherd I want to talk to the shepherd I want to hear the shepherd talking to me and loar may I never stop feeling you're my shepherd and when I can achieve that when your guiding hand is always on my shoulder when I live life with your embrace when I see you everywhere where then even when I'm walking through the valley of the shadow of death even though it's not obvious and it's not easy to see you but I won't fear evil because why I'll never be lacking in knowing you're my shepherd and then you're when I was 21 in yeshiva and trying to decide whether I should start dating or not I was at a wedding there was a mul from It's okay to tell this story. This is a fun story. What's the problem with this story? There was a mak. I was talking to a rebi of mine at the wedding. Should I start dating? Not start dating. And there was a mak in from not Shinberg, but of Shinburgur. It was a mubul from Andre Rebi who had a relationship with him said, "Ask him." I remember we were walking in the wedding hall. And he turned and he said to me, "How old are you?" I said, "21." He said, "A a is 21." And straight in it says in the so 21 you should start dating and you'll get married. Anyway, that had nothing to do with anything but the just may only just good and kindness pursue me. But he the numerical value of a is 21 and to the P says to if you get married and you have a good marriage then you found goodness. So he he was saying, "Oh, you're 21." The numerical value of a is 21. You should get married. Okay. I don't think I got married till 22. But 21 I I started. So we get engaged. I find you at 21. I found you at 21. >> It's all him. It's all We gave a Skoola two nights ago. If you're if you're dating or someone you know is dating or someone you love is dating. I didn't know this but in sitter snippets two nights ago. Listen to sitter snippets from two nights ago and we shared what Rabbit Kvki credited marrying off for all her children what her father Raayash did that she he said got her married or 20 Bram and who were older all did when they learned and within two months all got engaged. By the way, I don't believe in schools, but what they all did anyway, two nights ago, sitter snippet. I started doing it for the people I know and love who I want to help get married. So, I'm not telling you what it is because I want you to have to find the sitter snippet. >> I'm not telling you. You got to do your own homework. I'm not serving this on a silver spoon. You got to do your own work. Two nights ago. Two nights ago. Anyway, so starts may I never be lacking in feeling May I never be lacking in feeling that Hashem is my shepherd and because of that even when I'm in the shadow of death and you can't see invisibly may I always know he's with me and let kindness and goodness always pursue me so that I can see revealed and hidden when doors close and doors open when I close doors and other doors open let me see the goodness the kindness the love of Hashem and with this we can explain says the next another chapter 85 show us your loving kindness. Hashem we don't want it to be a mystery and we don't want your kindness to come through some twists and turn. You elected that guy but it turned out to be great for that reason and this thing happened for that. No, just just show me the kindness that I can see explicitly the kindness. Let us see your revealed kindness. And we say this every morning, which is a topic for another time. But what do we call it? We're almost up to this in the parios. We'll read about Rifka feeding the camels. She was the paradigm of we talk about two camelass. Why do we call comes from the root word gam which is a camel? What's camelass? How is it different than donkey and horse and catass and hamster? Why why camel the why do we ask Hashem to do do good loving kindness? Is there good loving kindness and bad loving kindness? Is there good and badass? Means Hashem act with me with kindness, compassion, mercy, sensitivity, sympathy, love, and do it to him. do it in a way that's revealed that I can see that I don't have to wonder and wait I don't have to wonder and wait >> all that he does is by definition but do aid in such a way that I can see it identify it understand it right away I don't have to wait to figure it out not in a way that I have to wait and wonder like so many emails I get I read some this morning and there's so many more many of them revolving around about I wait and I wonder and I long and I don't know when and I I I I don't know where you are. This week I wrote my article. I put it in the WhatsApp group about the letter exchange that I share with you before Yam Kipper. I can't tell you the unbelievable reaction I've had from others who feel that way and are so grateful for license to feel that way at times and to use it to come closer not to go further away to use it to draw closer. But there are people who are in that position where they're looking and they're wondering where and how and how come and why am I going through this and why am I still waiting and that's because by definition everything he does is but it's not because it ain't to be waiting and wondering and looking and it's not to so what we ask for specifically is to hashem don't make me go through many job interviews and rejections and wondering if and when let me see right way why everything is good. Let it not be a mystery. Let it be revealed. That's the that's the explanation that I don't need. I don't want to have to believe and have faith that somehow this waiting, this episode, this crisis is also let me do it in a way that's revealed. Oh. Oh, good. It's not mine. Like the Reb, another reference to the Reb of the day's reminding me, I like to say on Rash Shiving you for next rash shock it down. We wish one another a shauka should have a good and sweet new year. Why don't we just say have a good year? If it's good, it's sweet. Why don't we just say wish everyone a sha tova? So the said by definition it's tells us all that God does is by definition good. But good can also be painful. Good could be pleasurable or painful. Good could be enjoyable or it can hurt. Good you can see the good or you could wonder and wait. So we ask not only that it be good which it is by definition but it be good and sweet. That's also that is beautiful. That's exactly what to let it be. Let the pursue me and chase me. But the kind of that I can see and that's accessible and available and that's exposed. Not one that I need a leap of faith in also says and I'll bring it says in his language. We're in the bottom paragraph on the right hand column. Did you underline anything yet? Jump out of you. Write the English. Let's go break this binding. Wear it out. You recognize that? It's familiar. When do we say it? >> Some say it every morning. Some say it on Friday night before. Some sing it. Miami boy choir. We'll put it in the group. We like to One of our missions is to understand the songs that we sing. It transforms it instead of just singing words. If you understand it, voice choir. So what does it mean? Okay, maybe we'll start with this next time. But is referring to in this world there's justice. God interacts with us sometimes in a way that feels harsh and strict justice. And there's loving kindness. There's In the world of Jewish mysticism in Cabala, the right side is always the left side is always din. That's why we always show preference precedence of the right over the left. The right over the left whether it's how you hold the unless you're left-handed. Put the there's all kinds of the right. We always show priority preference to the right over the left because the right is the left is button their shirt their clothing buttons right over left. Not only the biggest lit puts on his and buttons it right over left. Not because it's women's clothing but because over the right hand over the left hand while you daven over physically the spheros it's a lot complicated. We'll pick up with it next time. It's the theme of you interact with us in so many ways. We dive in and we ask that you interact with us in a way we see, we perceive, we know, we feel that it's all Den Mashem will pick up from here. Now, questions and answers I sent out. You can direct message me if you don't want to raise your hand and offer it here. You can also submit it on our anonymous question system. If you have an anonymous question, a topic on anything for those listening online, we'll find you again next week. Be happy. Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay holy. And we open the floor to questions.