#594: Amida: R'tzei (Part 5)

respons s family and by we are on the 17th of the the of the of uh that is the beginning the first of the last three we pointed out and asked if you look at the words of there seems to be a whole lot of in there not only why is that lumped at the end in H and we shared several perspectives on it we mentioned the says that should be said that should be accepted as a carbon is a recognition the harsh reality that when we look up on top of that mountain the B mikdash is still not there and really we're Gathering here in sh and we're offering our but are a replacement the the the real aod the real service of hem are the sacrifice of the carbonos of the B mikdash that we long for and that we're broken over they should be said so much says that a person who doesn't answer a if we don't answer a the right to the person who's not focused who's not honed in and who's satisfied with the replacement rather than longing for the ideal doesn't answer aain can be blamed for preventing mhia from coming so you see from here the importance of not rushing into to Bow and say modim but to pause first and say before continuing to say to say what does mean hasem for us for the Jewish people and for ouros you should be what's it's not a trick question we've all been D in the amida for a long time some longer than others but a long time what's R mean needs is favor should find favor what should find favor we'll see it's a bigus the where do you place the period how do you punctuate what should find we'll see in a moment but R say first means to find favor find favor we want to be it should have we want you to be happy to find favor we want to find it pleasant we don't want to be a thorn in your side a pain in your neck we don't want to be annoying we don't want to be some burden that you have to carry our our heartfelt prayer should be received the way we intend them which is a yearning to connect you know sometimes someone needs something we all have people they call they text they wait they catch you they follow you they knock on your door and all they want is what they need and the relationship is not they don't want the relationship you certainly don't want the relationship they have something that they need they want and they're Relentless in pursuing you until they can get it and other times somebody says can I speak to you can I meet with you can we grab a cup of coffee I need advice or I need help or I need to borrow money but what I really need is a listening ear I need a shoulder I need a relationship I want a closeness I want a connection this is we just finished the we've Aly a list of all the things that we want and need but you know what we want and need most of all is a relationship with you there should be r should be maruta should find favor we shouldn't be annoying you shouldn't be avoiding us you shouldn't be looking the other way you shouldn't be grabbing your pocket your wallet when we come near we're not just coming to take to get but we want you to we want to have a closeness one have a connection that's what this bra that's what this is really all about the word is the same meaning as the word rats rats to rats is run when you run you run after what you care about when you desire something you run after it's not a coincidence that the word Luts to be running running gets you from point A to point B it gets you there faster when you have Raton when you have will when you have drive it gets you what you want faster the more Drive the more will kazal told us we should make our conformed to our will should conform to what he wants is a time that it's a time of favor like right before decided to create the world is the ultimate right the came before the before began creation first he decided to create that made it an aaton he was marut he wanted us he wanted us he needs us he wants us he therefore created a world that has Us in it and that's what R is really all about R is not about the list of things I need that's bakha that we're done with h gratitude is I'm grateful for this closeness this connection this cup of coffee the shoulder to lean on okay whether I get what I asked you for or not it's important it'd be nice to get it but that's not the only thing I also want to have the Clos I also want to have the connection this explains another anomaly in this bra this bra 17th say is the only in the that we refer to ourselves in the third person you may never have noticed it's a good thing you came tonight the only we refer to ourselves in the third person how do we normally refer to ourselves in which first person give us give me here we say we don't say let it be let it find favor our prayers all of a sudden we become like Spectators we're a third party and the third party we're saying why because when it comes to all the list of litany the things that I need when it comes to I can have the brazenness in the first person Hashem please give me but now I'm talking about a closeness an intimacy a connection Who Am I who am I to demand to ask we don't have the we may not be worthy so we say in third person because only if we are collectively see me as part of the bigger and that you want a closeness and connection with and part of your children and your children you want to be close with and in that capacity in that way the if a feels I'm part of then no matter who we are what choices we make but if I'm part of so I say so now I'll have now I could say who am I what am I maybe I'm unworthy maybe he'll say no but when I say everybody now maybe I'll be worthy now maybe we'll have that closeness even if I don't get the list of things on my list