#25: Behind the Bima - Special Guest: R. Yakov Horowitz

good evening ladies and gentlemen i'm your host rabbi from governor joined by panelists by philip moscow it's a rabbi josh brody it's wednesday night 9 p.m and we are ready to take you behind the bema behind the bema gentlemen rabbis dear colleagues beloved friends we are season two episode two and we have an epic guest tonight a uh banasmanam guest taking us from yom kippur to sukis somebody who spans so many segments of the community such a source of inspiration to me personally to our community and to klaus israel and really pumped and excited to be able to bring him on board shortly but let's uh let's first get started and talk about yamam narayam yamanarem are in the books last week about that expression in the books i saw someone wrote on twitter quoting us from last week that it's the perfect expression for mozarium kippur because yom kippur you're literally in the books just you hope we're signed and sealed in the correct book so what's your feeling you relieved young kipp was over it was a miracle it was it was it was nothing short of a miracle a gift from hashem that we pulled off what we were able to pull off with the minyanim with the distancing with the beautiful really beautiful inspirational davening keeping everyone safe um it was you know we spoke about in the past it's due to a lot of really hard work by a lot of volunteers but it was extraordinary what happened at the boca raton campus i'll tell you how i felt do you ever watch a one of the tennis majors and you see the winner um at the end the us open australia they collapse on the ground arms open they start cracking and i always think like five sets four sets three sets whatever it took you to win you've been training your whole life you've been getting ready for your whole life you need to make it like you expect and plan to be there what's with the collapse what's with falling to the ground a little dramatic a little melodramatic and and i i didn't do it after um kipper and after kneel i didn't exactly collapse on the beam my arms and legs out but i have to tell you i understood how they felt finishing a marathon pushing yourself to the edge accomplishing something that you thought impossible the umnaron this year looked impossible when we looked out and said corona pandemic inside outside tent air conditioned no air condition seven feet eight feet apart masks do we have bali tofila balitkiya uh in the shul around the circle yom kippur the heat outdoor it seemed like an impossible task the math alone the math alone to say okay how we have to space seats to maximize seating but organize the seating in pods so families can be together the algorithm the maximizing the it was like taking the sats all over again an absolute nightmare so i did not melodramatically collapse on the bema at the end of the ila but i felt like it i will not lie to you but i felt a real camaraderie with everyone there i felt like everyone there was just so appreciative to be there they were so grateful that they had that opportunity and every minute that you and i popped into i don't know if you had the same experience but i just felt like a collective we're in this together we're gonna make this happen and i found i mean thank god our members are usually really positive and really optimistic i found there's much less complaining this year a lot of like rabbi we know you guys are doing your best we're happy to help in any way and we're just so grateful to be here and i think that was a really great attitude from our community i agree proud of our community and grateful for everyone who pitched in all hands on deck by him rabbis we had people diving for the emma who'd never daven before because we had that many miniatures and and there was a real sense an outpouring of appreciation from the community of of the effort that was done which which was amazing what's your favorite p at onion kipper hmm i think my i was in a minion which skipped everything so we didn't really have have that this this time but i will tell you something brody that was only special for this year we're not doing that i will tell you that because it was such a small minion everyone really felt like they were part of something special if you weren't singing like you knew you you know you you looked back and you're like well why is that guy not participating everyone really really stepped up to the plate and it was really a special moment for those so for those who said putin what's your go-to pia which is the one that you're like now it's yom kippur now it's yum there could be russian orion kipper now from us i'll tell you actually um jimmy kaminetsky saying which i haven't heard since all of him so i haven't heard it in probably what 19 years that tune and apparently he sings it every year but i haven't heard him yet since i moved to boca and when he's saying that not only was it magnificent but it transported me back to my time in charlotte when the room would shake literally the walls would be shaking reverberating with song that was a very very special moment for me and i love hiyoma at the end there's something very special about that you at the end you everyone feels like we've done it we've made it together we've gotten through most stuff it was beautiful and like there's just this collective like let's let it all out for iom i love that people don't know this but wrote he wrote that tune for so i didn't know that to finish in that very powerful this year was the the pods that were rocking i don't know if it was the whole base magician shalom and every other yeshiva in seminary in israel in this unusual time but yeah those are those are powerful ones i think the obvious ones are unasana tocaf and borussia and you know khamal is a good one rabbi brodie but um also i think one of the one of the classic go-to's um there are some tunes that the second you hear those you're like that's it uh i love the kadash like that's just you hear that kaddish is powerful yeah scottish before and the book end of kaddish right the the haunting melody of the of the kaddish that introduces a muslim and and the other side of that coin the joyous celebration relief celebratory uh triumphant kaddish that follows the muslim illa they just they move everybody they're they're really they're exciting is there something that people sing but should be part of nusa let's go back to our and we're going to bring our guest on in a moment i want to hear his take on all this what is the part of davening that you're like that's supposed to be nusluk what are you doing when you talk about the um it has to be i draw it's just a pet peeve of mine you could sing kadusha all year round on yum naraim you gotta do the yamana i'm tune that that's my only hang up okay another hangar people have is um it's been discussed in our chas and what's app group before sometimes the chasm will try to apply a tune to liquel or din instead of doing the nusa for liqueur which by the way i would understand why you'd want to apply a tune to liqueur it's it's repetitive it's long but it's also very powerful to me it's one of those moments that it is it's supposed to be nisa and and this year and we're outstanding this is not calling out any of the hazaram it's it's it's personal each person has their own personal pet peeve with this but um uh in between the alketes when we say vyakulam so do you sing that or do you no for that different opinions but there are parts of dominating that you're waiting for and if they don't do nusa or it didn't happen the way the khazen when you were in eighth grade and your old child and you're like what do you mean you gotta sing that's the way i've heard it since i was four years old our previous conversation that's how i heard it yeah that comes back to our conversation from last week what the tunes you grew up on you have such a visceral reaction to it there's there's such a connection with the tunes that you grew up with and then the first time you hear something different you're like whoa that's not what i expected that's not rosh hashanah for me that's not what young kipper for me and i think that's what's special about russia on yom kippur is there's such a connection with the tunes in fact i was speaking to someone who was um because of various reasons had to be home this year for yom kippur and the person told me they said the davening obviously the words are the same hashem hears might feel out anywhere they said but what i miss the most is the tunes they said the music is creates such a connection with our experience on rosh ham kiprin when you don't have that so you miss out and on the flip side i spoke to someone who was home who was also a cousin and that person told me that because they're able to recreate that experience of the family even though there are homes it's really the tune that uh that creates such an important connection there's always that part where someone you know let's say they do popular tunes or something which no suck which everyone knows but then they select the tune which i think you think everyone's going to sing along with and no one knows it it's just it's it's quiet you just don't know what to write it right you know it's what's interesting for some of the people who are home they have been amateur wanna be hazardous their whole life and they had the opportunity to actually get the bema because they were home alone like i'm the best cause and when i'm in the chat i'm the best on the planet but when you were let's talk about that rabbi goldberg was asked to be one of the khasanam for niela this year and you declined even though i think you have a beautiful voice and i i happen to think that as a community it's beautiful to have the muradasara up there leading a heartfelt teary neela i think would have been beautiful for the community and you declined what was the holdback first of all tyrion i can't say good yantiff to the community on yom kippur without like needing five minutes to gather myself while i was calling the whole back is very very very simple it's called i love the community i would never subject them to my davening i happened to come from a line of khazanim my great uncle my grandmother ruth above allah shalom her brothers were the nolman brothers israel nalman lunoman macy norman shlaim noman they were hazanum they put out records or albums at the time they led davening they started the bell school of jewish music i did not inherit that gene i think i did i like to pretend that my shabbos table i did but i have enough self-awareness to know for the community that i did not and i would not subject you so i'm going to throw the red flag on that i want our members who dive in at boca raton synagogue to post in a chat who would despite the deficiencies in your voice about to be very disappointed who would like to hear rabbi goldberg lead us next year as a unified community in the ila getting everyone energized to the finish line i think you will be overwhelmed by their results let's not waste time but let's post a comment we have from one of our listeners could you read that comment um oh from my mother now the question is your mother-in-law wrote and you did a great job thank you to whom is your mother-in-law addressing you which of the three rabbis up here yeah first of all you know i i said to our minion right before naila that uh i was so excited to be on the circle this year having a chance to be back i said when i found out i was going to be back i said the highlight of yom kippur is getting to hear rabbi goldberg you know introduced naila and i said and then at that point i'm just looking out at everyone everyone's looking at me i'm like i guess we're not getting this all right without further ado let's bring on our esteemed guest this evening we are so so excited to have them rabbi yaakov rabbi yankee horowitz who was a dear however you did thank you so much for joining us on this busy time of the year everyone's building their sukkah getting ready choosing their dalai minimum recovering from kipper counting down to sukkos and you uh really uh without a lot of notice decided and agreed to join us for that he's got a beverage there what's the best greatest pleasure oh what are you drinking no it's okay you know i always i when i do parenting classes for teens i always say when you see the kids at a poland spring bottle don't assume they're just hydrating but this really is just water first of all everybody knows rabbi horowitz founder and dean of darcy noah founder of project yes author of countless books um hero and savior to so many segments of the community that otherwise feel abandoned and neglected those who've been abused uh some who are struggling with jewish faith and observance and a hero to so many of us everybody knows your name let me get your take we we on the show we started the show during corona when it broke out and um we had no access to our members we really missed that banter we wanted them to see some of the behind the baseball as someone wrote this week on social media about about behind the bhima um and um we started with lachaim just to be grateful for life like i am a small drink in moderation responsibly not celebrating alcohol not promoting excessive alcohol and most people appreciate that i have no problem with that every now and then we'll get a an email from a listener who says what do you need to do that for and as somebody who's worked in that community you know do you have a take on that is there if you do something with moderation responsibly you're celebrating life you're toasting the fact that you've made it and that you know please god your family is well and grateful for all who are well what what's your take on being able to publicly uh display moderation um or should we be taking extremes on issues that are very sensitive to the jewish community so i had an interesting um thank you thank you rebecca rabbis it was a pleasure how many years ago was i in shul lecturing at five six i think yes yeah it was absolutely delightful and i must say when you i bet from i was watching the video when you left shul and you closed it down that was that was very powerful it was really very powerful um so i i asked i actually asked dr torski we had teenage when our two boys were teenagers um i asked him what he thought i should do should i i my my gut what my gut instinct was to tell the boys that there's no drink that if you want any alcohol tell me and i'll make sure it's home but don't let me dear catch you with a paper bag behind some building you know so i wanted to do it in front of me that was my instinct i asked dr twisty he actually said that there should be no alcohol at all um and i told him i said rebbe you know he meant me when i started the work you were describing um i said baby i don't understand that that's not how i'm living my life i don't i tell the children to do it in front of me in fact i when the boys were into beer they used to put the place their orders thursday and i would walk in out of 7-eleven with two six-packs of summer ale or whatever it was and um one of my sons actually told me there's a 7-eleven right in the middle of muncie he said this there's one on 202 where nobody's around he was embarrassed for me i said no this is right for me i said it's a value for me that you that you limit your drinking and have it at home and i'm willing so it's okay i'm not embarrassed at all um so that's dr torski probably would say no and i would say in moderation i think it's okay what about what about not your son what about in terms of you being able to someone told me that there's a study i haven't seen inside that um children who emerge alcoholics often are from homes where they didn't see any responsible drinking that if you model drinking but moderately and responsibly and children can follow that and if you take the extreme as if it's something which is so evil then they might be tempted to experiment they might hide it which is what you're alluding right that's what dr twersky was really that was that was the discussion that i had with dr twersky i still don't understand what he was feeling i understand because he deals with with uh you know with with people who are struggling in recovery the only perspective i bet from that i would say is having spoken to many parents of people who are in recovery that's the only thing that i would say not so much as you're giving a bad message but the people who are in recovery find it difficult to be around alcohol so that's the only that's the only sensitivity that i would have you know um have the perspective of a parent dreading purim and sinfus torah and you know a place where there's a kiddush club and and waiting at home that i i a few mothers called me to share with me what it's like you know waiting at three o'clock when your kid's not home yet so that was the only perspective that i would have uh with not so much being that you're encouraging kids to get drunk and become alcoholics quite you're you know you're teaching moderation but it's more the the the folks in recovery that that would be my sensitivity right i learned that also is that sometimes that zakhar let's say everybody's drinking and they're encouraging and they're you know and we'll often announce hey everybody if you want to enjoy enjoy you don't know who's sitting in that room and you don't know who's who's on the edge of recovery and the wrong pressure because it's the sean zucker or the kiddish or the examples that you gave could really could really turn them off there's so much to talk to you about tonight and and and you are such a rich personality who's done so much and contributed so much and we want to tap your wisdom and brain for so many things but i want to start out with this and then i'll invite my colleagues to ask as well um one of the things i think rabianki you're so beloved to me and so many others is you're one of those personalities that transcends orthodoxy or jewish worlds you're not caught up in the things that divide us you are equally part of beloved owned by and committed to all the diverse segments of the orthodox world and when i say all maybe i'm exaggerating but i mean but really breaking barriers and lines that others don't um you know your project yes is a project of a goodest israel and your own yeshiva background upbringing and and you're you're a hasidis you dress and act like a hasid on the one hand part of an agora world the ishidish world and on the other hand you participate in and you and you go around to travel and speak and and you're a source of support to the mount orthodox community and and well beyond you've um more recently but very much embrace social media to reach people where they are and to bring the light and the message that you have through social media so a card carrying member and and proud are good as proud of you to have you not just you proud of them and yet active on social media active across boundaries and worlds um can you talk to us a little bit about where that where that comes from how you do it successfully and where you think the opportunities are for more of that um is there healing can we can we create some healing between the worlds it's an interesting thing in corona that technology the big taboo and the evil has been embraced by all segments and right-wing segments we're using it to teach torah and to make connections and to host their dinner and raise money or coordinate their shiurim and yemen and and maybe there's an opportunity here to be able to bridge some gaps and and create some healing and and unify our torah community even stronger so thank you for noticing um it is something that i'm proud of and i we odin on my white footy and i worked very hard to raise our children like that um i think part of it was my upbringing in ishivatar vidas where they really wasn't um you know rap shocked the five women beloved ravi mentality was the founder he he died 11 years before i was born but every single one of my rebellion was students of his would tell me them of his so like i got to know him through his various time either and he really you know his his line which he actually did express i i know some people that he actually expressed it to he said the ideal yeshiva should have you know and a little yeshiva and a hungarian cook and a yeti a german doing the books you know and but he really that's that's how that was the culture it really was um you know and and you know i i often say that that i learned from the molechamovis you know the angel of death who doesn't care where the kids are coming from he takes them from everywhere and if you look at the kids um who are either in recovery or should be in recovery or passing something around they absolutely don't care they have no hand ups that we adults do they don't put people into groups they're just hanging out together um and at the end what you said about rebecca i think it's just one person at a time i think it's just it it's it's not a thing that is a movement you just live your life like that and hopefully people learn and and you know to my important upon them that's my thought you're doing it through example do you think there are opportunities to bring russia yeshiva from different yeshivas uh to give shiraman each other's ishivas or to create some conversations to bring people around the table to be able to heal some of those wounds that there's so much more than unites us than than that separates us and in a world that's riddled with conflict and divisiveness and challenges from anti-semitism to covet we we need to unite so i used to you know i i i love the idea of you know interacting with each other you know if you look in the new york area um hatzala does this beautifully well the beaker column you know the the the charitable organizations that that not-for-profits really do a remarkable job of just parking at the door you know um it's obviously more more so in the greater you know in a larger community the larger diverse community but i think every person has to do their own thing to try to reach out beyond their comfort level and and um get to learn um get to learn about other people how they do things last follow-up for this do you get any flack for being on social media maybe i don't listen to it i actually you know you said the agora um i became a department head of the agoda in 1997 when we started project yesterday was still alive it was the last project that he started we spent three months working together it was unforgettable and i i felt kind of cheated you know but that you know he was lifted so shortly after we were working together and and um i asked permission to relate the story it's not confidential but i opened the website in 1999 and that was a long time ago you know a lot of a lot of institutions weren't even having email you know or or or certainly not websites and i actually went down to the ravisher was no longer alive but i went down to the leadership of the algorithm we sat around the table and said look i i need a website for the work that i'm doing and i understand i go to certainly then we're not you know didn't wasn't you know participating in in in in web life um i said what are we gonna tell people how are we gonna do this and make sure we say the same thing because people are going to come and say it has not got a logo on it project guest had the good bar on it so as long we got to say the same thing and we were kicking it around and and we were trying to figure something out that was simple and easy and that was true and one of my friends walked by who's the department head they are good i said come on in come on we need some help he said you're a married kid of the agora he had just married a child of his he just walked the kid to the cup of the week before so he said you're a married kid i love my married kids they love me they come to our home we participate together but i can't tell them what to do so great metaphor i'm sorry that's a great metaphor i thought it was brilliant and and it worked it worked he's asked if i got flagged you know if someone came to the department heads of the other and said yankees website what's up he says listen he's a married kid and i would say the same thing i understand the algorithms and they're i'm doing this with their knowledge you know there's a solution to everything if you try to make it work really i just want to follow up on that first of all thank you so much for being with us and i still remember that the shabbos here in boca and i remember actually the conversation we had in rabbi goldberg's office um there were a few insights that you gave us that day that rabbi goberg and i still referenced and i believe you're also an avid golfer i think robert goldberg left that out of your bio yeah that's true but uh as it came from the course okay good i wanna ask your handicap um but as i uh supposed to take me this winter you got you got some fancy that's true we're still do we still do around together whatever you want no no we're going to go out i think you you met me in in the evening didn't you yeah we spent we spent a lot of time when i arrived i arrived very late i did yeah yeah yeah yeah so yeah thank you i didn't forget yeah no course did i tell you that was no i wanna i wanna ask you a different question which is you know in many respects as robert goldberg alluded to you're a trailblazer um even with in the work that you do now with abuse with with with children that that are a little bit off the derral a lot of the cases that you're dealing with are not popular cases you take stands that are not always popular you come out very outspoken against issues that not everyone is unified around i mean that takes a lot of guts a lot of broad shoulders a lot of confidence and it really takes someone willing to use their voice to do the right thing so many people don't do that so many people see injustices around them they see things that bother them they see things in their community that might not be uh correct and they say you know what i'm i'm i'd rather be a conformist i'd rather not use my voice i'd rather be quiet what gives you that confidence to use your voice even when it's not popular um and who do you rely on when you have moments of darkness or moments of doubt that you look to to say i need you to to am i doing the right thing do you have verbatim do you have mentors do you have colleagues that you look to to give you that confidence to use your voice in the right way wow that's a that's that's that's quite a mouthful thank you phillip um well rachmael kamineski has been our past in our organization since we started and um he's been an amazing mentor um in his humility in his uh sensitivity in his his um devotion we had a reporting question uh about reporting to the authorities and um i called her shiva to philadelphia i said ready we have uh there were five of us on our team the leadership team of our mentoring program i said we have a few reporting questions by going to the authorities this was in 1998. um we would love to speak to the russia chief about it so he says yeah okay there's a 4 30 train today yeah sure so i'll be in at about seven i said whoa whoa we're coming to the russian shiva so he says no please the train's the best nobody bothers me he wouldn't even hear of it he barely let me pick him up at the train when i picked him up i said ready what's this all about i'm not going to be able to call you again so he said my father i said i just turned 70. he said my father said that everything after 70 is a gift and you have to share it so whenever i get a call late at night or i'm busy and you know that was uh um i don't speak up for everything um i i take my public voice very very uh um i wouldn't say is a burden but it is something that weighs on me that i have a responsibility because i have a public voice and to use it judiciously and carefully um all other things being equal i would post about the political stuff going on in this country at least three times a day at least uh there's things that so offend me deeply but i've chosen to sit it out after the election because everybody really made up their mind already and um i i just think it would be divisive so every once in a while if you look carefully you'll see something all right that's got a little uh pepper in there but but other than that i i i try to to use it for things that's necessary and i think another part of it is um you asked what the i'm a contrarian by nature it's just that's the way i was born um and you can imagine um if you're a contrarian and you speak your truth and you don't care what everybody thinks around you and you have a lot of energy uh that doesn't do very well in eighth grade does it so you know the gemara book that i wrote was part of the experience of having a very tough time in school with all of that um but the but the the you know the i'll tell you what i found what i found is that speaking out is important it's important to educate the people as you're advocating that's just that would be my advice if you if you want to get out on a limb and say something or do something that some that's dear to your heart and and and important you have to bring the public along um during the camille weberman trial that was my gutsiest advocacy in my life so far um i got death threats it was really it was really really nasty i asked each one of my children and my wife's permission before i did it can you just give our listeners who may not be familiar a two-second summary of of of what that was uh so there was a very high profile um abuse case in in new york there was a non-licensed therapist working in williamsburg who abused lots of people and i was called by the d.a and asked to stand to support the victim that she was she was you know she was under enormous pressure and i decided to jump in um and you know i went to trial every day with the family and it was a big deal and a lot of people you know they they knew they know that when i say what i mean nobody tells me what to say so you know it was it wasn't important i it was an important but it was an important move on my part but i was ahead of everybody because weberman was grooming the kids and people that wasn't part of the vernacular at the time and there were other things that were going on so i wrote about 10 articles over the course of the trial a little bit at a time i wrote i wrote a piece on grooming i wrote a piece on the halo effect um how that is that we make opinions but we you know we we form opinions about people uh um on the basis of what we see and explaining all of those phenomena to to to the readers and the people and i kept on saying to myself most of the people in this street certainly in williamsburg were were on the other side as seeing things differently than i did um i said i just want to take a bite every time i write a piece i want to get two percent of the people to at least see things differently so i think education is really important it's one thing to jump out there and say i believe i believe her or i i mean i did my homework i wrote a piece that got 650 000 heads that that detailing how i got involved why i got involved that i spoke to four other victims that they identified certain things that he was doing that nobody would know about that he was telling them they were married in a previous gilgal or other stuff like that so i i established i i explained to the people exactly how i got involved why um and and the background so i think that that's really important if you want to advocate you got to bring people along let me based on what you just said right now because i'm getting you know it makes it makes the listener get a little crazy when you say you know i'm i'd like to convince maybe two percent of the people to try and see a different perspective where you're wondering like why don't why doesn't 100 of the people see the other side i'm going i want to speak to them right now i'm sure rabbi goldberg we all would like to speak to them like what what's the other side where you think you can defend this this maniac where you know he's doing something which is completely criminal do those rabbis call you do the russia shiva's call you the godolan calling you saying don't get involved like i don't understand so so a lot of it in every community every community when someone gets arrested and the news reporter comes around with the microphone the neighbors all say i can't believe it that's just the way it is every culture every socioeconomic level every you know every religion that's just the way it is um we don't want to this is called the theory of the just world you don't want to believe that people can do things like this so in the abstract i'm saying like okay so now you didn't think so but we now we see there's evidence and innocent until proven guilty but but does the evidence look look uh um the abusers you know get that far because they they groom kids and they and they they there's a there's a concept you know grooming means that you start preparing children to slowly break down this face that there's a concept called institutional grooming of josh look it up it's cool you can do it now i was eighth grade review it's fine it's called institutional already by the way yeah yeah good for you institutional grooming means that that that people the abusers do things with in full view of everyone to slowly do the bizarre to they there's an article if you're interested there's another thing you can look up now it's called in plain view it's my number one recommendation to parents to read to understand grooming it was written by malcolm gladwell a 5500 word piece on on the sandusky on penn state how jerry sandusky got away with it and and one of the things that he writes there is that that jerry sandusky used to do weird things like he would go around take a towel and snap kids you know he'd be annoying and weird and and take kids out of the middle of the night and people would say oh that's just jerry being jerry and he you know and he's so great at what he does and he helps the kids and you know there was a whole thing in israel with someone that had a couple of seminaries and and abused his office and whatever was a whole big thing that that guy was picking up young ladies one in the morning from so it's it's called in plain view so so does that mean that when there's smoke there's fire or you see something say something when when things add up something like that that's exactly what they're doing they're taking away that excuse beforehand because they're doing strange things and people say that they're wizards that do they're so great they work with teens at risk and he turns around you know so it's called institutional good but that was another thing that i explained institutional grooming and how it works to the public and the fact that they do things like this so it's all about education and and josh what you said about you know depressed about the two percent um you have to be practical you just burn out dr dr dr novick uh dr rona novik has a program on an anti-bullying billing prevention and i mean she's a superstar in the area and i went for training and i asked her i said if i do this program how much is it going to help what's success so she said if you reduce bullying by 35 over two years that's success and i'm sure of josh i said exactly what you did that reaction you're kidding that's it after i do this program are gonna that's the way it is gotta move the needle little by little one of the things that you did that's that was really um an amazing contribution was the safety book that you published that's been translated how many languages isn't in and and people for four versions can have 110 000 homes already that's amazing that's a really amazing where can people we're scrolling in the bottom right by horowitz.com there's you can you can all of our books are now on amazon uh we actually have our own page if you do a google search for bright beginnings on amazon you'll come up with our gemara um our gemara program or um and and safety book that's the easiest way to do it just go to amazon and do a search for yaakov horowitz or gemara or commission bright beginnings it'll it'll come up so that's the easiest you can get them get them in before you enter um so after your weekend here by the way that was also a cultural thing um we have an english version i did that with art scroll 11 years ago right right zlatawitz courageously took the book that was only downside for him besides for this in the spiritual realm you know to his great credit um and then i went to satnar with the english book and i said i'm making the yiddish book can we work together on it and i worked with three heads of the satma community to do the book and we sold them 5 000 copies and they put it every home in monroe had it had a had a book so it's a process you have to work with people you have to you know you know what it is a lot your astro bathroom you have to put your own ego away and say it's not about me i may have these feelings that i feel very strongly about but it's we have to when you say it's all for the kids you got to really mean it it's not about me i told it's not my community i said it's not about me uh we made hundreds of changes some you know and some of them i may have thought well yeah whatever it's not about me i said i have a tool it saves kids lives let's make one that's you know that's my tin that's exactly culturally congruent with your community we appreciate your time tonight we've already used so much of it but let's um you know we talked a little bit about abuse and and your your courage and standing up there and and confronting also um you know these gemara books are fantastic giving people real access and training and and appreciation and love of gemara um leave us with an inspirational thought you know this time of the year roshana young kippah were going into sukkas is there a story is there a person or personality is there someone who jumps out at you is there is there something this time of the year going into circus what excites you i see you're sitting outside i know you're an outdoor person not only golf but so many of your uh facebook lives and of your of your streams you film outdoors that beautiful background we're listening to the birds chirping and um it's really wonderful what do you do getting ready for sukkah getting ready to go into the sukkah what's your mindset what are your thoughts what gets you to that inspirational place um i i you know as far as sukkah goes i i just the the the notion of doing of doing truva me me ahava of of uh putting the fear aside and and really um and and elevating your daily life you know we're not gonna be we're angels on yom kippur right we park it all at the door and and where angels were basically angels for a day so you know i i the way i think about it is you say you say anybody can be a mama for a day let's see you be a mensch all year you know so and and that's really as that's what i that's that's how i think about the the notion of uh of us is that the ultimate chew for me i have you know this farm compare a sukkah to an embrace that was surrounded by by this mitzvah and um we we set aside the the fear and the the the anxiety of of cersei mitchufa and and tried to come to a happy place a place of of content and and to serve hakadosh that way that's that's that speaks to me beautiful i want to uh close and thank you by reading to you i got a text today um when we promoted that you were going to be joining us behind the bema and it says the following rabbi yakov horowitz was my principal in fifth and sixth grade he had a tremendous impact on me he knew everyone in the school's name and address and it was a game he would come in and call you by your name and address once a year he would take each class out to the park for dinner and baseball it was just us fifth graders and our principal as i got older i followed his work with the local black community naacp as well as issues of lgbtq i'm looking forward to tonight he is really one of a kind so what a beautiful testament to you by one of your students that they remembered you know it's so interesting you never know what kids remember that baseball game um i did it really just to hang out with the kids so he remembers that from fifth grade and he's a married young man today yeah and yet from fifth grade he remembers his principal took him out and he's followed you since you continue to inspire him and yeah i think he didn't let any parents come no parents no rabbi it was just myself and the kids and and you know the parents would come pick up the kids at the end of the game um it's so interesting but you know you never know what kids remember if i can just if i can just encourage um gamora learners can i may i yeah please absolutely a hundred percent we we based we based uh we based these the gemara series um on the notion that um that a lot of pre-knowledge that that that there's background information that that kids need to know before they start gemara you know educationally we don't we try not to teach two things at the same time and when you look at the at the um assumptions that we make when we expect children to be able to master gemara or adults for that matter there's so much that they need to know so at the beginning of the book we have a section of ten lessons explaining who the people are how it works what's you know when you laugh this is tara shabbat the oral torah oh but it's written down isn't it aylon mathias metia is something you find no mitzia is middle you know in problematic you know there are so many things in the pagination and and and we approached it like that i actually took notes during my years as eighth grade rebbe of all the questions that kids asked me that i would have expected them to know and we pulled this together to make an introductory section and then the gemara itself tremendous amount of graphics all sorts of memory tools we have the children uh color code the the logical components i really encourage this you can go to on amazon if you look up right beginnings gemara you can down you can download a 12 page sample to have a look at it it's it really is transformational and on my youtube page i i have a beginner gemara series i created a 55 minute lesson i am telling you it's called ground floor arts girl in an hour take anyone you know that has absolutely no background zero 55 minutes they're able to pick up a translation gemara and learn a mishna from it guaranteed it's it's it i designed it actually for single mothers to help them do homework with the kids i did i did it at a retreat um for from sister to sister for an organization so if your kids are struggling with kumara if you went to yeshiva for 12 years and don't don't get gemara don't get frustrated don't get frustrated it's the air it's just gemara starts on the fourth floor why is it so important rabbi what what if somebody says look amar doesn't do it for me so i like to read article biographies i like to read mashbacho magazine i read navi i read why why is it such a building block or fundamental to a proper torah jew to to be have access to gemara so i i think one could make the argument that adults couldn't pick and choose what inspires them you asked me what what what took us i didn't mention any torah right i didn't tell you tor i thought an emotional thought right so we can participate as adults we can pick and choose what we want to learn you can study enough you can study the kids have no choice and we're learning more and more and more gemara i went to shivator vidas nobody believes me in 12th grade it was either two or two and a half hours of gemara period that's all was was mandatory the serious kids we got dismissed at six o'clock they sat and learned from six till midnight but but um the kids are learning they're learning more and more and more gemara and they're starting earlier and going faster and and and it they just there's a percentage of kids that just miss the train right at the platform and they never catch up right so of course you would say that gemara is a portal to understanding halacha and to understanding psych and where it came from its richness all of it but the kids don't get to pick that's the point my i wrote a piece called it doesn't start in 10th grade that was my first mishwah piece about when kids drop out so so folks i'm i specifically adults if you have children who are struggling over yontif that you can download there's enough material there for free i have a whole series that's free online on my youtube page that that will teach you gumara brachas and gemara illuminius um start from the beginning and do skills with them teach them how to learn amazing the common theme of all of your work is is taking care of the underdog taking care of the segments of society who feel that others don't care and you've always cared we thank you for that we thank you for being with us tonight encourage everybody buy the books um rabbi moscow was alluding to earlier in our community after you were here by horowitz we sold a ton of the books the safety books and they make a difference they matter you know as a parent you know i i then i was a parent of young children i still have young children it it what you gave us was a great gift because you and you gave us a vocabulary to have a conversation right as parents you enabled us to be able to work together yeah let's read this building no you gave us the pretext to talk about it it wasn't awkward it was oh we had this great rabbi the safety yeah for the safety and that's also an education process right it's an education process it that that's just another example of taking educating parents about educating their children everything boils down to education thank you for noticing i am absolutely looking forward to coming back sometime can't wait we can't wait we're going to hit the golf course with the golf course the bass measures we're going to hit the speaker circuit we're going to have you back at brs and we look forward to it thank you so much for being with us and wishing you uh good yanta a good convertible everybody and uh we'll be in touch thank you thank you great to see you wow amazing that's great the great rabianki guy oh he's fantastic oh he's fantastic rabbi brodie you should download i'm still trying to catch up on this camaro every week i have to share with my rebbe and i'm like i don't know just that you're sticking with it what's it been like having gemara i mean gemara is it's a building block it's a foundation and and we should find access to it for everybody you're back to it you're back i know that it's on your calendar and it's sacrosanct you're out of touch we can't reach you when you have that near jake reunion cheer what has that meant to you it's been great it's been i mean you know tor le shma right that's that's the whole purpose yeah unfortunately when when you become a rabbi you become an educator right you're teaching to teach you're teaching because you got to know this for that you know i trust me i'm never going to need to know sunchris and and you know i'm hosting but every week you know because you need to know you do need to know what's seeping into in ways you don't even appreciate it don't know it's molding it's it's capturing your brain you're 21 right now so amazing almost as many as behind the bemas right hard at the same time right i'm telling you this guy is a really he's amazing amazing he's going up against the world people are telling the horowitz yeah i'm saying how's he do yeah he's got courage he's got a lot of courage before it was popular see on social media you you have um a lot of people who will applaud and sure you have a lot of haters and detractors and trolls but you'll also have a lot of people who cheer you on for caring about the underdog but he was doing this long before you got that that feedback from social media when it wasn't popular and you didn't know and it could be a rock through your through your window that was the reaction people gave so it was it was very bold very courageous and he's a great resource we've called them on more than one occasion say we have this challenge this issue help us think it through we had some really complicated issues where you want to you know defend you want to defend somebody making an accusation that's the first priority to believe them and defend them you also want to not rush to judgment and do things very judiciously and carefully and we're lucky there's there's a very short list of people on a roll of decks i don't know how many of our listeners know what a rolodex moscow some of you know what a rolodex is there's a very short list of people i remember very short lists of people it's a short list of people that we can call and he's he's on that list and towards the top i thought his last point was interesting i'm curious your thought on that one he spoke about sukkos he said what attracts him to sukkos is the connection to hashem through love the roshani keeper is all fear-based and he craves that opportunity to connect in a happier happier fashion i wonder how our members would feel right in other words do they dread rashanim kipper it's all about fearing god it's all about afraid of the punishment and circus is finally like we can just enjoy that relationship um do we do a decision let's hear from them comment youtube facebook feel free in the comments we'll post the read your comment if you're listening to the podcast don't forget to rate and review and we want to hear from you also email be in touch with us we only have nine minutes left this this show goes so quickly robert brody what do you say you're stuck a hug you know you got to tell everyone about your that's your famous your famous uh my wife the rabbits and she loves that one yeah the arm the two two plus a little bit is is the two parts of the arm and the hand a little bit it's the embrace you gotta feel that hug you gotta you gotta sit inside that you know i mentioned in a shear many years ago and someone recently told me that it changed their their day that you know it's brought down by some that when you do a tifa with a talus those who wear tiles men who wear towels you put the towels on and you wrap it and you're supposed to he looked aladamas you're supposed to stay in that position for a moment most people are like taking it off as they put it on as they make the baraka as they're catching up on carbonus and there's this image that when you put it on you should feel like you're enrapt and you're you're getting a hug from hashem and if you take that who doesn't need that hug to start today especially now you can't get any other hugs you know you can't connect with people or exchange that energy so that hug from hashem it's powerful whether it's the sukkah whether it's the talus but it's a beautiful image that that we can get so there was um a facebook comment somebody we mentioned last week um wrote some really nice comments thank you ref pesach about your comments about behind the we appreciate love and that generated some conversation in the in the comments um about no female guests on behind the bema so would you would you gentlemen like to comment on the absence of female guests on behind the bema is that a misogynistic statement is that a policy is that a hashgaffer is that just a technical challenge what what why haven't we had female we have had female guests first of all i took offense on behalf of our moms and mothers which was by the way i think the most popular show but um first of all i'll let you comment on that i will just also point out that we were supposed to have beady deutsch on the show um she was unable to join us at the last second but she was scheduled to join us um and in we may or may not have reached out to her subsequently um to also be on the show but it was it was not able to work out so um it's a little bit of an unfair characterization also because she was supposed to come on the show but i'll allow you to address the policy behind it but it there it was a little bit of a unfair characterization that way he wrote it as well yeah robert what do you think i'm fine with it yeah i'll tell you this this is actually a big story about nothing which is we're all fine with it i don't know another school in the country we have um we have such diverse scholars and residents in a normal time we have a visiting russia yeshiva series and visit a goddale series and we have speakers and scholars and academics and um and we have women and we have women and they speak from the pulpit davoning ends men take their talisma off davinci has concluded and women are invited to come up from the pulpit and to teach inspire share and they have including doctor do you remember what one female scotland resident said to you um when we invited her to the bema to speak she said really she said in my show i'm not able to speak from the pulpit um from the be mush so she was very surprised that she was afforded that opportunity um at brs i think it was erica brown and dr erica brown who said that i don't remember but we say that we share that not as unapologetic i'll just i will say this it's the complication has been some scheduling of which we will continue to try to organize i'm also you know in in full transparency mode we have received some feedback from people who say the optics of a female guest with three rabbis it's a little overwhelming and the optics of it aren't great and keep it an all-male show and there's nothing wrong with that and have those conversations so we've had mixed feedback from our listeners what they're looking for not to suggest again there's not an enormous amount that we can learn from 50 of the population and we do in our shul on a regular basis so look forward in season two to having some female guests but we say it with the caveat that nobody should later talk about it's an uneven panel three and one and this is not a panel this is a podcast this is three brs rabbis having fun bringing on people we can learn from and be inspired by and we will continue to do that and that's part of the issue is that that's why we have something called behind the bema it's almost like give you the benefit of the doubt like people don't realize what it's like to be a rabbi and certainly in a synagogue like this which is so big and so many so many different types of members such a diverse diverse group but the point is that we're constantly talking about it we're constantly trying to figure it out and it's not easy right we're we're not ignoring it you know it's it's it's part of the bigger conversation it's easy to have all the answers when you're on the other side of the desk when you're in the seat behind the desk and you've got to make decisions and it could be coronavirus policies such as coming up and how to organize some customer or should people have meals together schools and their policies it's easy as an outsider to have all the answers when you're sitting behind the desk having to actually make the decisions things are a lot more complicated a lot more great not to suggest that this is this is is not one of them just thought we would we would respond to some of those comments online you know that um that there's no there's no controversy there despite uh efforts not not by some in that in that stream but uh sometimes to generate some of those uh those controversies what else on the general gentleman i'd like to speak about ishabashuva russia which by the way was phenomenal thank you for providing us with that inspiration but um one rabbi rubin spolter made a comment online where he noted the irish abishuba drush has an enormous amount of views people can find on your facebook page and near youtube i'm sorry youtube page and he wondered is that the path going forward in other words is the classic shabbos afternoon shaabishuvadrusha um a thing of the past and it will now be done on multi shabbos where it could be videoed and recorded and telecast with a live audience or is there something special to that shabbos afternoon um like the aura of ash shabbos is ending everyone being in a room together no technology no distractions and you know i'll be honest i was watching your your shabashu russian i found it very inspiring but even as a listener it was not the same it was not the same than being in the room as a community without my cell phone with no distractions with nowhere else to be i mean i'm curious your thoughts on that that is a great question and that was a great a great post by the way founder baseball there it's um you know the word i used when i responded to him and i'll use it now also is it's intoxicating as a rabbi because you prepare you work hard you're excited um there's an energy in the room when when bar hashem we have a wonderful culture in our community of twice a year really getting together all the diverse segments of the community the different munyanim um it's it's an event shabba sheba shabbat says having nothing to do with me preceding me it is an event it has just so people understand we're talking like 800 people there right it's a pet yeah it's it's an event and there's an energy and you get up first of all there's butterflies in my stomach the whole i'll give you the behind if you want the behind the baseball or you know uh um what's up is that the expression did i blow that expression what's the expression baseball no yeah i'm not sure you know behind the b it really is behind the bruins there's a show behind the b but anyways i'm blowing that expression but anyway um i have butterflies in my stomach the whole day i prepare i work on it i'm excited to give it to unload it um i have a special tv there's a conversation hashem and i have a few moments before i give it i go in my office and you know that image i just gave you about the talus it's brought down by several sfarum that the covered seaboard the rav was italian so the shabbat shuba shabbos of godol um some don't know it some market but frankly that's just ignorance because it's centuries and centuries old this min hug is a covenant seaboard inside baseball thank you donnie um so the inside baseball of it is i butterflies all day and i still get my shabbos snapping but i wake up nervous and counting down excited to deposit the drusha to unload it to share it to give it and um and i have there's a whole conversation i have with hashem it's a private conversation but right before but it includes the fact that hashem like this is for you i really want to just be your conduit i want inspire help me have the right words help it all work out and help it go well so having that energy in the room is is amazing and it's powerful it's palpable and it's absent when you're speaking to an empty room no matter how many are listening online or listen online later however um when you look at the numbers and the reach and i'm going to assume that 80 turned it on for two minutes if you just take the number 20 who actually watched the whole thing it is still a multiple of the people in the room and for for someone who prepared her as a public speaker that's intoxicating it's exciting one one one click that we were five of us watching also right that's fair that's fair or three of you watching two of you sleeping i don't know exactly how the numbers work out but um so i was intoxicated but one of my kids they put it up they took it from the phone and they went up on the tv we're watching you on the big screen awesome i think it's an easy answer and the easy answer is that a model going forward is to give these kind of things on mostly shabbos where when it's safe and healthy everyone's invited to come and we can pack hundreds in and those who want to be in the room and turn their phones off we can make that a prerequisite and make it a real feel of the energy being in the room but and direct it really give it to the people in the room but also stream it and make it accessible for the people not this is a this is a new model going forward and you know matt levin rabbi brodie's other bosses on so matt thanks thanks for being here um this is a model in general and you're about to see it come out after circus there's a little preview for you where brs is a offline community let's be clear our mandate our foundation who we are what we're about what matters what keeps us strong are our members physical members our community those who attend those who combine those who collect those who connect you are a b and c one two and three ten that's it but there's also a broader or a further concentric circle of a community right our theme that we keep coming back to here in season two is brs is a movement brs is not a shul it's not a community it's a movement what we stand for what we believe in what we're trying to teach and preach um and and the impact that we're trying to have so we're creating a friend of brs online membership where you can support and be part of the movement no matter where you live no matter where you live and we're going to create some content that you can only access if you're a member at that level not most of the content the shirum the articles will still be available free to everyone but but that that will be part of the movement and the membership to create that that movement beyond also because you know you and i we're preparing we're teaching and we love to see and interact with and connect with our members but it's also very gratifying to create new relationships broader relationships um to transcend geography and even time difference and to connect with people wherever they are is something which is which is really awesome and really fantastic and really exciting so you're going to see that coming out okay so yeah that that was that conversation other exciting news in boca should we put a teaser out there go for it this big one by the way this is big news it's a big big teaser first of all it's not just boca because when new yorkers come down this has significant implications for their gastro decisions this is big so we have wonderful restaurants in boca beautiful wonderful restaurants three of them happen to have been in the same location and owned by the same owner and those three restaurants have been sold butcher block butcher box express and mozart are no longer they are currently closed because they were sold and there's a group that bought it there's a master chef an amazing incredible chef owns a restaurant in teaneck new jersey who will be the food brains behind the new restaurants that will be opening but after sukkas there's a great group who purchased it competent capable they've got vision with this incredible chef seth and they're going to come out with some amazing restaurants and you know we have other restaurants i want to just promote and share all the restaurants in boca i don't want to leave anybody out i want to start naming names but it's not just in that area all throughout boca uh we've got great places to eat milk flake fast food sit down but these three particular restaurants that is a big change which people should we'll see coming i'll tell you why it's exciting because you know it'll really anchor boca as a food destination i mean as you said we have amazing restaurants um but you know there there are some really good ones in aventura and surfside in in bell harbor and like but now you're gonna make boca and people gonna be coming up from those areas to here whether it's for our current restaurants or whether for the new restaurants and that's exciting because you know you and i see boca is exploding in people coming all over the place east west north south it's unbelievable what's happening here boynton deerfield all over the place what el rey beach del rey right how many chabads have opened in delray in the last two years so i think now that you have a food anchor there it's gonna it's gonna be a real game changer it's great yeah like we said we already have it and we're just expanding it and and we're looking forward to the difference that's gonna make it's a little little teaser out there for you which is uh which is some exciting stuff um just a last update and then we'll we'll call it a night and and we'll put a lid on it and then we'll pick it up next week our special hola maui edition with some excited things planned for the hola mode edition and following sukkas big big guests and big names big conversations big stuff but unfortunately we give this update every week and and tragically there's this update to give every week we long for hope for the day that it won't be there and we do it not to get political or take political positions we do it because we believe you got to call out people on your side the other side every side when they've crossed the line so aoc pulled out of the robin event when even j street is disappointed in you you know that you got a problem and uh yeah that's a problem that's a problem when you can't even be part of memorializing and remembering a murdered prime minister of israel that's a huge problem um i know that it's been a big controversial that the president last night failed to unequivocally did he mean to has he in the past will he again not weighing into the politics but clearly left the door open for clearly condemning white supremacist group uh the other nominee for president used a nazi comparison joseph goebbels when talking about the president these are images and you can't invoke that kind of comparison but i will say something positive that's come out in this front about fighting anti-semitism um our congressman ted deutsch who's our congressman and also a good friend um not to suggest anyone agrees on everything or we agree on everything but we're grateful that he is our our congressman taking a leadership on things like this he is part of and a leader of the announced on tuesday a new uh global inter-parliamentary task force to combat digital anti-semitism ted deutsch other representatives from both sides of the aisle democrats and republicans with elected officials from major parties in canada the uk and australia another member of the panel of knesset came from that comes from the knesset and this inter-parliament international new group is going to fight online anti-semitism and i think that is a very positive development grateful and i want to thank our congressman ted deutch for showing leadership in that area not just talking about anti-semitism not just calling out those who flirt with or violate the boundaries of anti-semitism but also who are going to be working on it he's working on his website and we are going to be working on our website thank you for agreeing to take the lead where we're going to be able to list the people who deserve our support and list the people who deserve our uh opposition and calling them out and try to move the needle in the ways that we can rabinki taught us tonight two percent three percent five percent ten percent they all add up you gotta move your voicelessly use your voice judicially choose your battles move the needle incrementally because it'll all add up to moving the needle in a big way in the end so unless you have anything else to add i'll just say my son-in-law is here with my daughter from israel great and i tell you i came home tonight after that lula thing and let me tell you something the frame of the sukkah is up [Laughter] unbelievable jake great guy cool nice to have someone nice did you use the ladder he's like i don't know it's like what letter does anyone i know our podcast listeners will listen to this afterwards but anyone have a heat update our miami heat are in the environment sports who needs sports you got to be a hometown fan no i can't i can't other than for baseball but ruined it for me that's going to that's going to get well and this is our opportunity to defeat him this is it this is it on that note stay tuned for next week where we explain the history and background to the greeting i think one of the great jewish greetings that'll be a popular conversation next week what are your favorite jewish greetings one of them is good fittel a good fittel where did that come from and what does it mean why do we wish i love good quit though you love it all the time i love goodkrittle so uh we will we'll talk about that next week and so much more until then stay healthy stay happy stay holy we'll see you next week thanks for joining us tonight