#15: Iggeres HaRamban (10 Minutes of Meaning) - Finding True Happiness in Life

good morning 10 minutes of meeting series is sponsored generously by and mother basuma Rifka we're very very grateful to the generosity of the shes learning please help yourself to a cold or hot beverage and a Danish in the lobby always invited to stay and join daving or learning here at BRS we're learning G ran Ran's letter written ostensibly to his son but really written to each and every one of us helping inspire and motivate us to live our best selves began by telling us to condition ourselves speak calmly speak gently speak softly and then we'll never get anger anger is categorically bad if we indulge anger we lose our sense of self we lose our judgment we lose our Clarity we lose our decision-making and we sabotage our own lives so the first thing to do is to speak softly and gently and calmly like a y will do to me later when I took the announcements from him this morning speak softly and gently don't indulge the the impulse towards anger and in L when the absence of anger in our heart our heart instead can be F filled with Ana with humility and with modesty because a person cannot be angry and still be arrogant person can get arrogant about how good they are not getting angry so therefore you have to replace what filled our heart that anger has to be filled instead with the raan says with an with humility and then a person has to have a healthy sense of it's not enough to be humble because we think that's some beautiful humanitarian value or attribute person has to be humble because you said say there's an Almighty there's a Reon there's an abish there's a Creator there's a source of all and it's his world not mine I work for him he doesn't work for me I'm here for a mission to serve him person has to live with that sense of a a not the E of a but the the of a of a Jew paraphrases our rabis that we should be aware of and cognizant of all the time before whom we're going to have to give will be accountable not only for the mistakes we made but also for the good things that we could have done in that same time that brings us up too when a person is mindful last time we spoke about t is an assumption raan writing to his son his son didn't have a smartphone his son didn't have technology his son didn't have multimedia his son didn't have social media his son was a a Shepherd I don't know he was a tailor a blacksmith his son was not distracted by this world and even then he said to his son that the secret to a meaningful life is being contemplative do we make and carve space and time to think think think about what's important Focus concentrate be intentional be mindful we're so swept up in the momentum of life we're moving at such a fast pace do we make the time but if or when we do when we think about these things all these things then we will be filled with awe the high level awe and a good healthy dose of fear from our creator and the best thing that will help us what's so sin is the Christian or Catholic translation of the word K that's not how we translate a is Miss a missed opportunity Hashem invites us we have positive and negative opportunities to come close to hashem's not a sin if your wife asked you to take out the garbage and you neglect you forget it's not a priority it's unimportant did you do a sin she may think so or label it as such but it's not a sin in some uh existential or or or some religious sense it's a missed opportunity meet the need and the request of the other party you come closer ignore and neglect minimize and you're more distanced a is a missed opportunity in tanak the word is used to describe a Miss to miss the mark to shoot an arrow and miss the Mark is a so how can we protect ourselves from not missing opportunities who wants to miss an opportunity every Jew is miserable about the missed opportunities every Jackie Mason's run every Jew is a building in Manhattan I could have owned I should have owned I could have bought when I moved to bokeh I should have bought 10 logos in 1999 what they'd be worth today everybody a the stock I was in early I sold too soon that stock was on its way up a a Miss we beat ourselves up over over missed opportunities and the missed opportunities not only of Investments we didn't take the missed opport unities we said the wrong thing we blew it we hurt a relationship we destroyed a partnership a a missed opportunity so the greatest the biggest the most existential and the most Eternal missed opportunities are the ones Hashem gives us each and every day 613 of them we have opportunities to come close or to be more dist opportunity to live our best selves or our worst selves opportunity to fulfill why we're here or to violate and to neglected what will help protect us T sh what will protect us from missing those opportunities be thoughtful be contemplative be intentional be mindful set aside time to think think that there's a God he created me why am I here what's it all about I'm not raising my voice I'm not getting angry I'm not indulging that emotion I'm G to stay calm cool and collect I'm gonna live with humility and with modesty it's not all about my ego I've got to work on my ego ego has destroyed so many people isra ego has created ego has led to so many missed opportunities that ego edging God out I want to Edge God in I'm going to live with Y and with all I'm going to involve God more in my life less of my ego and that's what's going to protect me from missing opportunities and then because the raan's just giving us a formula he's giving us a prescription he's telling us what to follow to find happiness meaning purpose value in our lives if we can do that condition ourselves speak calmly C softly sweetly don't raise your voice don't indulge anger T condition ourselves become be calm and then be humble and then feel awe and then you know what you'll find and then the result will be happiness you'll find happiness after all isn't that what we want we have the right to the pursuit of happiness America gives us the right to pursue happiness but you know why you have to run after something because it's running away we're pursuing happiness because happiness is running away if you live for happiness you're incredibly unhappy we're living in the most prosperous time in history and the most unhappy time in history and when you live for happiness you're unhappy we don't live for happiness what do we live for Holiness and when you live for Holiness you know what happens you find happiness when you live for Holiness discipline self-regulation moral boundaries living for Mission and purpose living for Holiness we find happiness and that's aish of thean aish of thean you would think what do you mean I gave up my anger I gave up my arrogance I gave up my ego I gave up my honor I gave up myself and that's what's going to make me happy the ran says to his son and to all of us yeah exactly that's what's G to make you happy whatever we have is what we're meant to have whatever we have is what we need makes made this morning gives me that's my only need he give that only thing I need is to know that Hashem gives me everything that I need what I need what I need is what I have because that's what he gives me and then we can be happy with what we have it's an incredible Insight of the he says the Tells it back in one should separate tithe give awaya because it brings great wealth which is certainly very counterintuitive the more money you give away the less you have yet the Torah promises the more that you give away the more you give away the wealthier you will become now the simple understanding is the same way you're financial adviser so someone told you this is a great financial adviser someone CED you in the lobby when you had the adish and the coffee said can I meet can we have another coffee I want to talk to you about what I could do so you say you know I'll give him a shot I'll give him a try let's see what he can do give him a modest amount of money so if he gives you a good return on Roi you give him more money if he loses your money if he squanders your money if there's no M no return on your money you're not giving him anymore Hashem works exactly the same way we are his Brokers we are his financial advisers we are the stewards of his money he gives us money and he says let's see what you do with it by the way he says 90% unlike our advisers where if they take too high a fee we're out of there Hashem says you could take a 90% fee n did you hear that 90% fee you'll draw the income that only you only earn because I let you I'm investing in you in your income take a 90% fee keep for yourself 10% I want to see a return on 90% gun enjoy it's all yours 10% I want to see a return on when we show him a return on the 10% when we invest it well two good things spread Torah and mitzvos and Outreach and inspiration and supporting Israel and caring about our fellow Jews and doing good things with it Hashem says oh good good Roi here's more I'm giving you more because you take Myer when we don't give the 10% or we invested poorly unwisely there's no return to Hashem he says good I'm done giving you forget about it if you'd like to talk about some good places to give I'm more than available I'll make myself available if you felt the building shaking this morning the crane the expansion I'm more than happy to talk to you but the tanum expands on this and this we end tanum says give so you don't lose out what does that mean and quotes the my favorite part of the wedding in Israel when they play this song and they Rock right after the that is gonna give us until our lips are tired from saying die enough enough how do you understand that after all if a person dies they're not even half satisfied with what they have if you have 100 you want 200 I saw this morning online Mark cubin and Elon Musk going at it about their net worth we're talking billionaires and they're still fighting about who has more money who's worth what who could buy who whom they're they're billionaires it's not enough you number 10 on the Forbes what you want to be number one so how could you say how could you say that a person's lips will go so tired and say a enough you've give me enough I have enough how could it be and the answer is the schoola of the Mitzvah of is it brings you to hisopos when a person gives away a portion of what they have they learn to be happy with what they have and then they become the wealthiest people they are the wealthiest people in the world the person who's happy these billionaires fighting online but who are miserable because they're not number one they're miserable they're unhappy they're on all kinds of medications they have staff of all these therapists and they're pursuing whatever they can travel to space around the world they're looking for happiness wherever they're willing to build spaceships to try to look to find happiness with billions of dollars because happiness doesn't come from more happiness comes from hopus when you say you have enough well how do you demonstrate what's the evidence that you can live and feel I have enough I'm willing to give I'm willing to share what I have so don't only give so that Hashem will give us more but the the what's the wealth that you'll find when you give the wealth you'll find when you give is Theus the wealth you'll find is that you're able to I'm happy unlike the billionaires with whatever I have less than a billion I could be happy and that makes me much wealthier than they will ever be may we be successful to never grow angry to live with humility to have a healthy awe and fear of Hashem and with that to find the happiness we deserve and we'll continue next week on the ramban's formula forward