#137: Behind the Bima - IDF Soldiers on the Front Lines and Their Families

oh my dear beloved nephew Ephraim Ephraim Goldstein we're so proud and we're so uh in awe and we're so beyond grateful for all that you're doing and putting your life on hold and going and literally fighting and defending the Jewish people this is tanak level story and this is historic and all of the Jewish people are indebted to you and your friends and your family and all those who are with you so obviously we're not going to disclose where you are or what you're up to but um just just share with us how are you getting through each day what what was it like when were you called up how did you find out something was happening when did it become clear that it's this level or this magnitude or or or where it's at give us a little bit of a background so yeah so thanks so much um for that entire introduction it is I'll just I'll open by saying that the amount of support and strength that we're all receiving from Israel and abroad and the Jewish people all over the world has been unbelievable and incredible I'll start and say that that gives an incredible amount of strength um this all started it was really shabas morning um it was towards the end of Shu here in Jerusalem towards the end of Davin when the first siren went off in the city um at which point I people started to leave sh go home check and make sure their families are okay um since I'm uh I was expecting once it was pretty rare to hear a number of sirens in Jerusalem so right away turned on my phone to check with my unit and it became clear throughout the day um that the call up was inevitable as friends started to get the call as the day progressed um we did as well um and the next day as uh as many of us did um said goodbye to our families and and drove out to where we needed to get to uh to go go to work and here we are you kind of lose track of time hard to believe it's now Wednesday evening um but I guess the time flies and we here doing our best to keep everyone safe if I give a little background you know sometimes in in America or abroad certainly we know who the soldiers are those who have relatives and family and who frequent Israel but a lot of people don't and they hear Israeli soldier and they think of somebody who loves violence somebody who loves War somebody who has some animal impulse and rage and they don't realize that that Israeli and Jewish soldiers are sweet delicious kind good people who would give anything in the world to have peace what was your life like you work in finance maybe just to even a little bit your your family made Aliah how old were you when when you came and was it always clear you would you would join the Army and and what was that service like how long have you been out and um and what does it mean to be a reservist yeah uh so I I made Alia when I was 11 years old that's when my family moved to Israel um I guess that's a good question for my parents but every parent knows that when they make ala they're signing their children up for the IDF whether they think about it at the time or not and what that means um I grew up in giton um and after two years at gush I drafted um continued to officer course and after four years of service essentially ended my the first segment of my Army service and began as a reservist um but I think I think you said it you said it quite well that soldiers are just regular you know everyone drops what they're doing in their day-to-day life I think it's an amazing thing when you see everyone who comes together from so many different walks of life here um and I I mean it's it's crazy to think about what was going on in the country just a week ago but every every argument that was even going on every little bit of conflict is all just Fallen away as everybody really just comes together I think that's one of the one of the beautiful things of of miluim that you see is it's kind of above all else you have people from all different walks of life on the political Spectrum on the religious Spectrum from uh from Matula and from a lot and from juam and from Tel Aviv and everyone just comes together and it's all you know it's your good friends you get together a few times a year um and it's an amazing thing I think now also it's this is uh it's a different situation than most of us have been in but it's the same people that we trust and that we believe in each other and we're here together and like you said we all just want to finish the job and get back home and and and what's that like right we're not going to ask you how you're spending your time and what these days are like but the waiting has to be torturous too right because the news reports that that these incursions and and again wherever we're not we're not going to talk about specific location things that certain things are inevitable so every day is just sort of is sort of waiting so how do you how do do you pace yourself how does a soldier get ready on the one hand when you're ready to go do something you need to really be ready on the other hand if you try to keep that that level that high all the time you you'll burn out and you won't be ready when you're needed so how does a soldier through this waiting period how do they Pace themselves yeah that's a great point we actually were talking about that a lot today because kind of the as time passes when you're on on reserved so you get called up so you know you have high goes from high intensity and then it drops high intensity drops and you're kind of Towing that line throughout the day um and you know it's definitely an adjustment but I think one of the things that has helped us the most as a group is to to talk about that to address it to sit down to open up uh have a drink there I would say that the the amount of of of soda and snacks and food that we've been receiving from the people who are around where we are right now is just is you everyone should come and take we have extras we can save for if you want there I've never seen so many of Coke in my life um so just to sit down and to talk about it and at the end of the day underneath the surface if we you know you tear away the the gear and the uniforms everyone's going through the same thing um and it's important to address that and you understand that it's difficult and yet it's okay and kind of helps to to get wrap your head around what's going on and kind of push through that wave that you described of the intensity and then you're waiting nothing happens something happens you think something's happening it's really it it can change very quickly minute to minute um but being with the people that you're with really helps and knowing that you have the support and and receiving text messages from people who you know you haven't been in touch with in ages but they know that you're in Israel and they thought of you it's it's all it's all part of all pieces of the puzzle that I think give H give us the strength give Israel the strength you know your your wife and your sister-in-law Ruthie and Le were saying that that they're lucky that you and aom have phone contacts still at least right now and that there are others who are serving who've already been cut off they they can't be on their phones so I'm sure that's very meaningful also to be able to check in to be able to to Whatsapp video to be able to still be connected and get those text messages they mean a lot and people should should know that and send it and and boost the morale in that way when when you checked your phone on on chabas on the kog and and you ultimately saw that you're being called up what what was that feeling was there a piece of you that said I wish my parents didn't make alah when I was 11 I I was in America right now I wish I was just working like everybody else was there a piece of you that hesitated or paused or thought can I get out of this and not go in what what what's that like when you get that call um I mean I can I can speak for myself that my I mean it was kind of something that we knew we we knew it would come one day we didn't know when that day would be um but when the day came you kind of start wrapping your head around the understanding that okay this is this is happening but we're ready and you look around you and you walk through onim morning instead of seeing the you see people running home you understand that you you got to go do what you got to do um and it's and it's I think uh I think it's a for for a lot of people to be able to do that um challenges aside and it's a challenge for us and it's a challenge for for our families everybody put something aside to enable this country to run um and survive and be the amazing place that it is and everyone plays their part whether that's on the front lines or the or the home front um but it's it's a team effort I think everybody feels that now also I mean I I've I know offices I can speak just for the place where I work where you know everyone who's in the office is now figuring out how can we help the soldiers who work here who are on the front lines what do they need where what equipment can we get them what food can we get them what money can be raise like the everyone everyone has been drafted for this cause whether they're wearing uniform or not and I think that's that's the general it's it's a beautiful way of putting it let me ask you I didn't get your approval so feel free to not answer it a little bit of a personal question but what role does does being religious of living with am and of living with faith what role does that have in getting you through this that it's not just nationalistic and it's not just about a people but as as you've put on this uniform and grabbed that gun and you're prepared to do what's necessary to protect your people is part of getting through each day and especially in this waiting period what role does does daving does have for you what role does the relationship with hem have for you and how does that relate to as you said as an officer do you Channel some of that and communicate that to to your men to the people who are with you um yeah it's a difficult and long question I don't know if we have time for the whole answer but I'll give you my the initial feeling is that it definitely adds a a certain layer you know I'll attract that and say I think that even people who you know aren't necessarily put in on fill in or aren't connected dayto day some some something reaches out I heard about people who are gathering pairs of Fillin and SE to send to Bases because soldiers want to be putting on who don't usually wear to fill in so I think the religious aspect is I mean obviously it's a huge part of it um and I and I will say this also being here about the fact that you stop and Davin three times a day um adds a little something mean it's it's it's hard to stop and think when you're in a day as crazy as the days are today when you're forced to stop and and repeat the words that you're used to repeating three times a day and you and every every part of our of our history and our regular they take on a certain a certain meaning here um that maybe don't think about at home and some aspects kind of hit home stronger than others I would say our Davin um but I would say for me am the feeling is that three times a day you're kind of forced to stop and and think about what's going on um and and dove in that everything go well which is I think a big part of it you know we do our we're working 247 but if you take a little bit out of that day to kind of ask for help um I think it adds a lot those the videos that are coming out that are being shared of of of bases and of who are singing and and all these songs and singing and dancing and jumping and and and putting their allil and leaning into that and knowing that this is not Stam two nations in in Conflict I mean this is a group of terrorists on one side but this is that we have Hashem and he's behind us I could tell you as a as an outsider and a spectator who obviously feels very invested but is not on on the line it's so powerful for us and I I hope that that's part of the energy that's that's driving you and and and the others yeah it it definitely everything you see in those videos I mean if it's if it's powerful on camera you can imagine how powerful those moments are uh In the Flesh yeah FR I know that you have work to do thank you for taking a few minutes out and there's not there's not adequate words in the in the world to describe uh how grateful we are how indebted we are how proud We Are how much we love you and how much we're in for you and praying for you that you should be successful that you should be safe that you should be secure and that you should be home you should be home with your beautiful wife and children that you should be back in the office that you should be back in your SCH that you should be back in in the life that you've so beautifully built for yourself we love you we're proud of you thank you and please please please to communicate to all your men that not only are am Isel behind them but the world the world of decent people not millions billions of people I've gotten text messages from non-jews I know I was just stopped in a public place by an older non-jewish couple who who emotionally almost in the verge of tears said please we're thinking about you we can't believe what's going on in Israel I we're just channeling all of that to you and to your men you should feel that support and feel that love we're pushing you at your back we're pushing you up that hill we're we're we're right there with you and and we love you and and thank you for everything thanks you so much we we definitely feel it um from where whenever I do take a few minutes to open up my phone and read the news I know that much rather you know the there there I think there are two sides it's very when everything is so live stream there are a lot of difficulties um because you have very quick access um quick access to a lot of difficult information at the same time you get to see the incredible Outreach that is going on and support and the Beautiful Stories of people showing up to bases and people sending home at the airport just waiting for them to show with their and putting them on flights is really it speaks it speaks to the power of of us and the Jewish people and Israel and I say the heroes of Israel are everybody who is taking part it's not it's not just us here it's all the support coming in from everywhere so thank you we love you stay safe and I can't wait to give you a hug in person can't wait for that all right thank you joined by my beloved nephew whom I love and admire a Israel a thank you thank you thank you words can't describe thank you not thank you for being on behind the beima thank you for serving CLA Israel serving the Jewish people serving the state of Israel thank you for interrupting your life and leaving your wife and beautiful children thank you for putting your life on hold to defend and fight for the Jewish people we won't mention where you are or what you're doing other than say you are a gibor you are a hero of the Jewish people and we love you and admire you and can't thank you enough so thank you wow you know talk to me tell me tell me this experience when when when your family came to Israel when you're growing up in Israel did did you ever think that one day you would be getting a phone call on a Shabbat on a that the country would be under attack that there would be a war that you'd be called upon to get rid of an enemy and that you'd have to put a life on hold you you were done with the Army you had graduated and true this miluim every year it's me luim but did you ever think that you'd be asked to do what you're being asked to do now sure um yeah we all expect it we all know it's going to come one day um yeah in a way you know one wants it to come in a way one doesn't want it to come um but absolutely it's definitely every generation in this country had it and we have it too AV know what's it what's it like um the thoughts that go through your head how do you pace yourself as there's been some time between being called up and and not knowing what's going to happen next and how do you how do you sort of regulate what you need to do to get into a place to serve versus it's not yet time so don't get to that level now how does a person get through this waiting period and this waiting time it's not easy I mean that is the art of basically being a combat Soldier it's all about not really knowing what's going to come next having to have the flexibility um to either wait or suddenly get an order and go ahead um sometimes it's nerve-wracking but mostly you just stick to what needs to happen technically um so be practicing just hanging around eating doing sleeping um and just go through the motions that's basically what we do um and yeah so it's a lot about you have to have both things also you're also waiting you're also ready so it's a hard place to be in you're AV you're you're one of the um most spiritual people that I know what role does your relationship with Hashem what role does amuna and what role does that play and how you get through something like this right you're not just fighting there's nothing wrong with the people who are nationalistic and patriotic and love their country but you know when the Jewish people are fighting for our people in our country we're doing more than just being patriotic and and National istic we are we are we feel Hashem is on our side and I know that you have a very close connection at least that's been my experience with you and conversations deep conversations we've had so what role does a what role does prayer place for a soldier as they're getting through times like this good question okay so let's start with meaning what happened is terrible horrible um it happened the day after shaba and you cannot not ask yourself like you know uh are doing what does it mean why did it happen um like the first day of the New Year basically um this is what happens to us so that's that's one side those aren't new questions not in my life um people great people being killed um and not in in the Jewish you know Jewish history or nations sadik any any of these things might things could be connected to what we did not be connected we don't know what Hashem what Hashem decides and how he thinks and what he does um on the other hand on the other hand there's you know a big feeling of how do you say of being an agent of having a job yeah yeah for sure um being an agent of of the am and of Hashem himself these people that that came to kill us they're not they're not looking for just me they're looking for for the Jewish people and if it's true all everyone what everyone's saying that it's Iran so they're trying also to Target Jews around the world it's not only us here Israelis around the world at least um that's from that perspective um you find yourself talking there there's more come back to that no you find yourself talking to Hashem more you find that the the the prayer takes on a different a different level when there's so much at stake I mean it's look if I think about it too much it gets too hard once in a while a flash here a flash there but can't go too deep deep into it because things are things are not easy think no it's not what happened on on Sim was was so hard um and when you when you come to to think of the words of davening it it's not necessarily so yeah you're right meaning for on the one hand you're doing like I'm doing to Hashem um and and the words take on more meaning on the other hand if you try to give them too much meaning it becomes a little hard and we're also tired and and working and busy and like it's not like such a spiritual atmosphere um so here and there a thought crosses my mind love you know we're so we're so Greatful for all that you're doing and for your time if you had to give a message you know from abroad there are things that we can do and I'm pushing our community and all of us to to double down on our and our prayers to send messages and letters obviously to donate and to support and to to provide some of the resources that are needed what would your message be to those in your your W your wife is doing her part and your your children are living without you and you put your education and your work on on hold you're all doing Beyond Your Part what message would you send to those outside of Israel of what we could be doing to help each person should think what they can do to help as you yourself said um about the Sam Sam girls and Yeshiva guys staying here each person has their role um and and we're all together in this we're all part of one am we're all the Jews and we're all doing this together and everyone should think what what can you do what can you do to push us forward and to get us out of this um and get go back go back and and go up a level we we're not we don't just want to go back to how we were we want to we want to go up a level whatever that means I don't know what that means but whatever we're going through now it should take us up to the next step so each person stop think what can I do amazing have you know we know you're doing the most important work in the world and we'll let you get back to it we love you and we think about you and we DAV for you and I can't wait to give you a a big hug in person and to uh celebrate the success of your mission and of bringing safety to Israel the people of Israel the state of Israel the land of Israel and beem soon we'll we'll be together to celebrate we really appreciate your here thank you means a lot absolutely be safe take care of yourself we love you love you too Ruthie and Leia my dear beloved nieces my sisters daughters I've always wanted to go behind the beo with you and so admire you and love you and each of you have your own incredible stories and lives and so much worth talking about I never dreamt in a million years it would be in the middle of a war and it would be in the in the aftermath of this most heinous and vicious atrocity the greatest Slaughter of Jews since the Holocaust and and you are I've always loved you and always admired you but now I'm in awe of you as you are just two examples of so many who have said goodbye to their husbands as they've headed out even though they already put in their time and completed their service but are back joining their units Heroes courageous Heroes of Israel um one of them serving up north and one of them serving down south and poised and ready to do whatever is asked of them to defend your families so Ruthie and Leia I Ruthie on the left Leia on the right I should say Ruthie Goldstein and Leia is and uh I'm an awe of you I love you we all love you we all love all of our brothers and sisters in Israel and thank you for the courage of being willing to speak a little bit about your perspective and what you're going through not because you're unique uh unfortunately there are so many or fortunately the Jewish people have a have a rich presence in Israel and so many young married people so in some ways it reflects the beauty of the health and strength of the Jewish people this is not why I ever dreamt that you would be on behind the Bea so thank thank you for willingness to talk about this thank you for having us let's start with this how are you doing I know that both of you have moved in with your mother with your parents with my beloved sister and brother-in-law in modan where you grew up because as your husbands have gone out and and you both are raising young children and to not be alone and to have the extra support and help as they are off you've moved in first of all how you doing how you holding up it definitely helps to be together um I can't imagine like being alone most of most of my friends also they either moved in with each other or with their parents um or spending their days like at their neighbors um it's hard it's hard to be like present with the the kids and play with them and like not be distracted all the time um but it seems like it's going to be a while so we also need to on the one hand survive each day and take it day by day but on the other hand kind of build some sort of routine and like figure out how we're going to do this for a while yeah it's really unfathomable you probably didn't picture that this is where you'd be you know somebody said to me every I I'm gonna come to you in one second Leia but every yum Kipper before ni rabbis will in trying to pump everybody up and get them ready and and and have them dig deep to leave it all out on the floor so to say and in as the gates are closing of the will say things like we don't even know what we're doing for who knows what could be in the year ahead it's the end of yum Kipper it's in the ELO we put in this whole season we don't even know what we're doing for there are things that we don't even know and can't even imagine and who would think that that a week later uh a little over a week later that that's where we would be so you didn't imagine Leia that You' you'd be you know sending a off and and moving in with your your parents and your sister what's it like every day how are you getting by from when you wake up and when you wake up assumes that you fell as sleep are you sleeping do you do you sleep next to your phone are you checking it constantly and waiting to hear from from your husbands or for an update on news or any change Leia what's it like um sleeping is hard um just that ignore the phone it's all right um sleeping is hard fun sleep is hard staying asleep as hard um disconnecting from our phones in order to fall asleep as hard um waking up in the morning and remembering that this is all really happening um is hard um we're sticking together ups and downs um one of one of us is having a hard time um the other one takes a step up forward um feel a lot of help and support and love and we know that everyone else is basically we're all in the same boat together um the when we do go out which isn't so often but you basically only see mothers and children um what else could we say there a lot of people offering to help like whoever whatever a person is doing they're just trying to figure out a way to to help so all the teenagers here and also I know from new time are volunteering to babysit for free to take the kids out which is really helpful because we're exhausted and it's really hard to to be present and play and and we're basically home all day we don't have a routine we're not unsure of um if to leave our houses how to leave our houses is um I've been doing the same round around our house walk a few times a day not go too far so the teenagers who come to to play with the kids is really helpful and and our brother Sally he's out from the morning until the night like either P um delivering packages packing up packages he's like fig there there are um families from the south who moved into like empty Apartments but aren't furnished so he's finding furniture and moving it in and and I don't know um La sister-in-law is she's a um a hair stylist so she's going to the people in the South to cut their hair for free like whatever everyone's looking for something to do that in a way that they could help are you strengthened by a sense of mik the fact that in Israel you're seeing remarkable stories from non- kosher restaurants in Tel Aviv that cered their kitchens so that they could provide food for soldiers to people just delivering goods and just extraordinary stories coming out of everywhere and I could tell you you know here inat and outside of Israel the the love and the eagerness and the urgency and the itch that everyone has I just want to do something and and donate and collect and serve I'm getting texts constantly about like let's go and I also want to book a ticket and want to go we can't come until we know there's something for us to do and we can contribute meaningfully but everybody are you strengthened by that sense of of everybody's selflessness and the contrast between that and what had been going on with so much of Division and and all these protests that had happened and and how many articles over the last year about were on the verge of a Civil War and instead of it being a civil war now everyone's United in a war against our enemies and we're not going to try to begin to even talk about why things happen or hashem's plan God forbid we won talk that way but how that pivoted so quickly to this Unity does that unity and do those messages when you see those stories or those videos do they give you strength definitely and all the me messages that we're getting like from people in America from our friends in like everyone's checking in with each other and that's a really good feeling like we're not alone we're all on the same boat um everyone's thinking of each other like no matter what situation you're in so there are other people in different difficult situations and everyone's checking up on each other um this like this is what happens during war like always like we've seen it in other in other difficult times like this is what happens and it's really nice to see and I wish that we didn't need a war for for it to come out because like I think it's it's always deep inside but the streets are filled with uh flags and signs that kids are making and like everywhere you walk you see different things that people are like just walking in the streets you feel how um everyone's looking for a way to help and do you and does it you know there sometimes there's a debate particularly again from 6,000 miles away and it's so hard to be here you know how hard it is for me that that you are there with your parents my my sister and and my brother and his family are there and Saban Safta my parents are there and I'm the only one in our family who's here hard it's so hard I hope that we're serving a purpose and I hope we're contributing from here but it's so hard to not be there with you but sometimes from this distance there can be a debate you know does it really matter does it have an impact does it boost the morale if you write letters or if you reach out or send a text message or if we hold a rally and send the video does it really mean anything ultimately does it make a difference so can you share and I'm not prompting you that you should make us feel good you could say no it makes no difference whatsoever I did see one picture that came out of a tank that hung on the side of the tank every picture that they got some I don't know if it was a school or kids who wrote A wrote letters or made pictures and they they taped it to the side of the tank and they they describe that it makes a difference so there's a lot of focus on the soldiers and the Army but even you as as the supporters of those soldiers the ones who bear the consequence of the soldiers going to the front line and going into to reserves and now having to pick it up at home does it make a difference when you get those text messages when you see the videos of rallies in America when when you hear when you get letters does it matter should people do more of it does it make a difference does it boost morale I think it does every message that I get I'm I'm really touched by people also that I'm not in touch with people in America that I'm tou with people in Israel that I'm not in touched with and now everyone's just checking in with each other and it really does mean a lot um I I I know that it also means a lot to the soldiers to get um other than like our husbands who are saying that they're they're overloaded with people coming and bringing them snacks and food and equipment and everything they need which like to them means a lot but Al like you see there's videos of like on a bus and their m is reading them letters from like little kids and it it it it does make an impact and and the rallies and things that that the shes in americ are doing I think it does make an impact here on the way that people are feeling um not alone there's always also like a feeling that maybe at the beginning everything was everyone was horrified and but like this is going to go on for a while and as it goes on people are going to like go back to their normal lives and and like I don't know we're going to be the only ones who are still like dealing with the dayto day so I I think it does matter to know that people outside Israel are still thinking about it even though the the shock of the beginning kind of passed um and I think it's yeah we're only on day five and I think it also makes is important um like to show the world to show that everyone else who lives in bokeh everyone else like that um that Amy is United and we care about each other and as like to show the truth of what's going on to make an impact on people's opinions such an important Point you're making that we have to pace ourselves because if we have this Outburst of of unity and of effort and solidarity but it could wear off and you know of course we never wanted when the Ukraine War Began everybody wanted to do things and we raised money and all this happened the Ukraine war is still raging and it's like yesterday's news Israel's war can never become yesterday's news because you're living those consequences every day Leia does it ever enter your mind like why did my parents have to make Aliah we could have been living comfortably under palm trees in Florida our husbands would be with us at home going to work living normally going to some rally and feeling good about themselves in a Boke or aone or in New York or California does it ever enter your mind like why are we here why do we have to suffer this or or are you proud to be there what what's it like in terms of when you think about the fact that neither of you were born in Israel and your parents brought you to Israel and you grew up in Israel and both of you served Sheri and and we're so proud of that and married but do you ever have have regrets or resentment of of the fact that your family brought you there um definitely no resentment and no regrets um I could say there are moments where I say I wish I was just living in Florida or wherever it is around the world and not having to go through this and not having to think about this and not having to be um separated from my husband and him being there um not feeling all the pain so close um but I don't think obviously that's not actually what I would want and we wouldn't trade this for anything it's the best thing they ever did for us the best thing they ever did for us um and this is part of the package but um but maybe the our husbands are stronger than we are in this because they they're living it but this is uh this is what they want to be doing this is what they believe in doing this is what we have to do um it's not Stam it's not and like it's not a question and someone's gonna have to do it and and they're ha they're happy to do it and they're proud to do it and like exactly the opposite yeah Ruthie what do you think no I was going to say the reason part of the reason why it's the best thing that our parents ever did for us was bring us to Israel When We Were Young is because I really think that that everyone's gonna end up here like that's so so we got the easy way yeah we were I yeah and and we grew up here it's much easier then making Aliah like at our age we have friends who made Aliah now and I I don't know if I'd be able to do it like to and leave my parents and leave everything I know we have friends who are here alone without their families they don't have parents to stay with um their parents are far away and their husbands are still away so they like move in together yeah wow wow is there anyone who gives guidance to you right to the wives to the wives of theim let's say right are there are there trauma Specialists psychologists are there messages is there someone right that says you know whenever you're looking at your phone or checking the news or worrying did I lose you no we're here what when right I know and and it's just right I'm a concentric Circle away meaning I have you and I love you and your husbands and and and and you have your brothers also serving in the Army we have you have a first cousin most of the people we know like all our friend husbands all our childhood friends all like so I know for me like also not sleeping waking up checking the phone updating the news obsessing everyone around me says like I'm I'm so unproductive I can't get anything done I can't focus on anything between seeing an image that makes you cry and jarring you towards thinking about what could be and being gripped by anxiety and even if you have all the amuna in the world which we do we have the Torah that grounds us and and centers us and anchors us and supports us these are all only natural feelings that we have so is there Israel collectively like are there news programs is anyone on TV saying okay sit down I want to talk you through this here's some exercises here's what to think about if you're feeling anxious and worried and overwhelmed here's how to navigated here's how to talk to your children like how do you how do you talk to your children when your husbands went off and answered the call right on a they got up got their uniform grabbed their gun and answered the call you didn't yet know the world didn't yet know what had happened how bad it was how long this might take so we're not going to get into when you said goodbye what that was like but it probably wasn't assuming that this would be long term or what it really could be or mean so how do you talk to your children how do you navigate it are there people who is there a support system to teach that there's a lot of material going around um on how to speak to children and like for every age something else is appropriate different videos like stories um different ways to teach children to calm down also in terms of going into the bomb shelters we had we were in usai on and we had a whole bunch of sirens and it took us totally by surprise the first siren like I thought at first I thought maybe it was a mistake I didn't even know what it was we never had a siren in Yim since I liveed there well your cousin Tamar my daughter who was with her friends in an apartment heard it and they thought it was someone made their left their alarm clock too loud they yelled at each other and went back to sleep no so I I I went downstairs also to check on on my neighbors there the I don't know if you should I don't want to embarrass anyone never mind cut that out but they're not the only ones who didn't know but um um what was I saying so there's a lot of material going around on how to speak to children I'm also a social worker so I I work with children Elementary schoolage children I'm I've been in touch with them from Far also now and and that's like I we had meetings like with for work on Refreshers how to deal with trauma how to explain to Children um so and and also our own children like we're thinking about it all the time um our husbands they go to me um somewhat regularly um once right a couple times a year sometimes for just two days sometimes for a month at a time um we've both had it pretty recently so our kids they know what it means when um they put on their MIM we tell them ab's going to be a um still young so we say he'll come back soon he'll come back in a few days um so they sort of know what that means also now they know um ABA went to be a um they know their uncles all went to be all their our friends went to be um and for very young children that's enough but Eden is for She's So perceptive so she she knows that it's not like regular miluim first of all all of ifim didn't leave over but he was on his phone all and our friends around us that we were hanging out with and eating lunch with they left and she said to me I know that not only ab's inim everyone's in milim and it's because of the sirens so like she definitely senses that there's something bigger going on and we're not going to gone and we're here and and even though we really try and it's really really important and this is what I tell the parents that I work with also that it's really important not to talk about things around your children and assume they're not listening they they do listen they understand more than we think and we really try not to talk about things around their children but we're with them all day and there are things on our mind and they do hear things at the end of the day and they may not understand it but I think it does affect them it definitely does I just finished bring them to sleep like a few minutes before we started talking because like it affects them even though we try to break they're young when they children who are older it's much much harder yeah well let me ask you this Ruthie you're you're a social worker Leia you're a lawyer what happens of Social Work what happens with work what happens with work right now the whole country is shut down there's no productivity you're not both working and what happens a and aoam aam is becoming a physical therapist and AR is in business what happens with with an income and a livelihood and work that needs to get done both for them they're they're they're out serving Asim and for the two of you who are full-time single moms for for right now um the country was basically like forced to shut down it kind of seems like there's just no there's no even question about it there's no other option because um I mean you're and where I work most no one's there everyone went to M or if they're not M then their spouses are in MIM and their kids are home so from like they're doing just what needs to be done um if you want like the stores half the stores are closed half the stores are open everything kind of has been put on pause just because there's no there's no other option maybe if you're on a salary maybe if you're on a salary maybe you still get paid yeah yeah they get from I mean store what happens to the store owner whose store is closed or he's off at he has his family has no livelihood for the month or two months or three months or God forbid however long this this I mean with with regular M they um they got paid their regular regular salary um hopefully the same we we haven't experienced yeah I work in a school so so as long as schools are closed I'm not going to work but I because I'm a social worker it is very important that I check in with the kids that I see regularly so I'm trying to be in touch with them as much as possible right let me I want to we're going to speak to your parents and and please guide your your husbands so let me end with this if do you have a message for those listening who don't live in Israel who have not sent their their son or their brother or their husband or their daughter or sister for that matter off um those who live outside the land of Israel what's your message to us about what we could be doing how should we be spending our time how can we connect to this and how can we be supporting you I think that sending messages thinking about you really does matter um and it is very meaningful and I think just talking about it and and sharing the what you know with with the world and the people around you Dominic yeah we're having trouble doing that so you guys could take care of that what what you say doing doing yeah absolutely um that's said Leia you know you're making a joke but that's such a great Point such a great point and I'm gonna repeat it in your name is that is that yeah the Men at Work can't D in like they want to the wives at home who are singlehanded taking care their children can't doin like they want to one of the ways we can serve is to we'll take the doing we've got that do a little more for us wow that's such a great that's a great insight and and the supplies and everything that's being sent and all the Amazing Stories of the guy who paid for all the to come back and all of that is it's meaningful to the to us who we hear about it and I'm sure it really makes a difference to the people who are experiencing it there's the and there's also all the people that their houses have been BR down and they've gone through um severe and horrible trauma um and their families were torn apart that they also need um a lot of support a lot of love a lot of stuff yeah supplies they don't have anything and that will go on way after this is over too because they don't have homes to go back to many of them and also like rebuilding everything is going to be a big project well I give you I give you our word from me from your your cousins your family here from our community and I know I speak for clly that we're not going anywhere we're not going anywhere and even when this ends and there's still an economy that has to be replenished and supported and people that will need enormous support and therapy and post-t Trauma we're not going anywhere we're absolutely not going anywhere we love you we love you from the bottom of our hearts so proud of you your husbands and your families and um please God we can't wait to see you in person and for good reasons and good causes healthy and safe and secure and well and thank you for all you're doing for CLA is thank you okay my beloved sister and brother-in-law my brother Daniela and Joseph thank you so much for doing this you know I always dreamt one day we do behind the be my episode like behind Eon Goldberg's life and my siblings and my parents and we could talk all about my childhood and I don't know that anyone would want to listen to that in the world but I would be entertained by it never did I dream that we'd be having this conversation because you have a son and two sons-in-law in the Army and you've taken your daughters and your grandchildren into your home and your son who is not yet in the Army is running around pitching in and helping out and taking down suas and doing whatever is necessary and never did I think that this would be the reason that we're speaking but I appreciate you're coming on to talk about this I know it's not easy you're not alone it's a country of of Heroes like you and the name under under your screen that says hero of Israel is accurate I know you feel it's not but the truth is from the day that you told our family you were making Aliyah and that you were going to raise your family in the homeland of the Jewish people and Forge the destiny and with it know that your children would would go into the army and would protect this land and would have to take these risks You Were Heroes from the day that you announced that Aliah you made Aliah you made Aliah before it was popular before it was easy as easy as it is I shouldn't say it's easy before was before nees you were early on in mod I wish we all invested when you went knowing what would happen there but it's accurate to say you're Heroes of Israel so thank you for for being on thanks so tell me tell me how your life has radically changed over these last five days from what your shabas and Yanti were like and how that changed when you started to hear what was happening and what it meant when you realized that your your current son was in the Army your sons-in-law who were thought they were done with the Army but are now back in put their lives on hold what what has this experience and transition been like um so we had a very very strange bizarre chabas simus Torah um our son who's in the Army was actually home and that was really really nice and uh I I was woken up in the morning by the sound of continuous Booms that sounded like they were out in the distance things we've heard once or twice in the past and we've had Sirens here in the past but we weren't have any there were no Sirens there was just a sort of a constant constant um sound of booms going off I knew that something was up I didn't know what I was alone in the house except for my son who was sleeping and when he finally woke up he went to SCH and I said find out what's going on there's definitely something going on and he came back a few minutes later he said there's something going on there's there's Rockets for sure those are the booms we know that um but there also is some sort of infiltration in Taza and someone said something about you know kidnappings I didn't really know it sounded actually super um bizarre like nothing you know what they were saying and then in case I went to pick up um our mother for SCH I knew she wanted to say isar so I figured we'd go over there I sent him over there to close her the window of her mad um and we said okay we'll go to sh I I could see people were going to sh we hadn't had any Sirens we went to sh um and in Shu we found out a little bit more information and Shu was relatively empty honestly for simura like many many kids who would normally be there were not there many people were not there who would have been there um we had a siren in the middle of musaf we stopped M we went into the Hall um they finished doing very quickly and we came home and my son said you know I'm going to turn on my phone I said oh you're going to turn on your phone you know he he hasn't actually finished his basic training yet I said we gonna call you like you're not even you haven't even finished your basic training but he knew what he was doing because he turned on his phone and a little while after that he got a call that he should pack up his bag and be ready to go in and on our way home from sh as we walked home I could see on the streets already I'd already heard that a number of people had been calling up and had left shou and as I was walking home I saw boys coming out standing in their MIM um waiting to be picked up this is the middle of shabus you know Sher shabis boys it was clear that there was something happening I saw um neighbors that I don't really know well crying saying goodbye to their sons who were going in um it was a lot of activity that was obviously very unusual and we spent the rest of the day just actual call that he should leave and go which he eventually did on Chavis um and then really we had very little information so we were waiting for shabas to be over desperate to find out what was going on because we didn't really know um anyway at that point my son-in-law of you know him got called up he left Saturday night and then after Shas when I spoke to Ruth she told me that I frme was also going in the morning and they were going to come move in and he was going to leave from here the three of them basically left at three different points um that was obviously very very difficult um for them to say goodbye to their families for us to say goodbye to them but we didn't have the full grasp of exactly what had happened and how serious this was um really until like everybody else in the rest of the world over the next few hours in the course of the next day um and you know that's basically we've all been living that life of finding out horrific information each day worse than the day before um so as far as that's concerned you know right we're all sort of in that together Joey let me let me jump jump in and ask you Joey when you made Aliah how many years ago did the two of you make Aliyah and when you did your children were very little some were born in Israel and and um did did you think about the Army and one day right like we we we were all raised in in schools and in homes that were very very zionis and pro-israel and I don't know it felt like you know we heard we heard our parents describe what it was like and where they were for the um Kipper War for beforehand The Six Day War and and what that was like those interruptions and that that suspense and that and that anxiousness but it kind of felt like that was history there's skirmishes that happen but that level was was history did it occur to you when you were making Aliah that you would fast forward and what this would mean about your children children-in-law and and the risk it would take well we made Aliyah um right in the middle of the inap so it was 22 years ago and uh let's say we came on a pilot trip in February February of 2001 um and then we we moved in August so between that time there was there was Heavy attacks in Israel there were bus bombings there were there were shootings on the highway especially where we were going to be living on Route 443 uh and around there and I remember it was a very telling moment um I was I was in my office uh on on Wall Street which later few months later was destroyed in the 911 bomb um not bombings uh or uh aircraft crashes um and I remember um having a moment of of panic what was I doing what was I doing I moving my little children to Israel and people were talking about it about how could you you know fine you want to go but how can you put your little children my children Ruthie was then six uh we had Ruthie Leia and and and Mika was a baby and and I remember that that that shabas is parl um and at the end of parlak Hashem says to when he tells them what a horrible the people what a horrible thing they did by um not having aun in a k he says that your children that thatu withu that you said will be laas that they'll be destroyed because that's the people said they said the same thing how you know we we're ready to go in but our children will be will be killed they he said those children they'll they'll they'll the ones who who will Who will get the land so that struck me very much that that P that that paraa struck me that was I think that so that was parl that was around June so um you it's a couple months before we were going to leave and it struck me that that's exactly the the kind of doubts that that I need to needed to be strong and and fight against so at that time it was more of like moving little children into a war zone the Army was you know many many years ahead so I wasn't really thinking about that I was thinking of more of endangering my children when we finally got here and it w and it was dangerous one thing that you notice very much is the absolute freedom and and saf that your children feel in the neighborhood in their you know when you're driving on the highway the parents are nervous about that but the children when we got here just felt very free they could go wherever they wanted they could play with their friends down the block and there was a sense of even more freedom and safety than than you have in the United States so how do how do you Pace yourselves you've taken your daughters and your grandchildren into your home on the one hand you're watching and following the news closely on the other hand you don't want to make them more nervous your daughters whose husbands are are are out answering the call so how do you how do you pace yourself in terms of expressing your own concerns nervousness following the news um knowing that we don't know what is yet to come and and when it will happen and what will happen and and so on and and how do you both identify with and support your children and grandchildren but on the other hand allow them to live as close to normal lives as possible within your home so I think my daughters are working extremely extremely hard to uh be brave and strong for their kids and they're doing an amazing job at it and they're really focused on that and making that their top priority and I am very focused on being strong for them um so that they can be strong for their kids and um I think we've gotten into a sort of a routine of where we each sort of like we each need our time with our phone to catch up on the news and to feel like we know what's going on um but we don't really want to do that in front of the kids and we try very hard not to talk about anything and not to really discuss anything with them around um no new we don't have the we don't have the TV on no news on while while the kids are awake right um and really just putting on a very brave front but I have to say the first couple days I think like everyone the absolute shock and horror um were just unbearable and it was very hard for anybody to function and there was a tremendous tremendous amount of fear and anxiety in the air and it was sort of like paralyzing um but since then I really have tried very very much to focus because I really truly believe this that you know we are now on the offensive and what I've told my son who in the Army and my son sons-in-laws is that their job is to go get the bad guys and I know they're going to do it and I believe in them and I believe in the Army and I believe Hashem is with them and I tell them that the entire Jewish people is behind them and the entire world is behind them so I do not um I really try not to give off any feelings of fear or horror we had those feelings I mean that was the beginning part of this but the tables have turned now and we're going after them and that's what they're doing and I just could not be more proud of them and more proud of all the women that are behind I mean I see in my neighborhood as the girls described it's my neighborhood is full of um young girls with their small children with their mothers um basically everyone's moved in together and we're all pulling it together and all of the youth and the teens who are just unbelievable and incredible of what they're doing um spending all day every day going where it's needed and we are in a position of real strength and motivation and the Kim are unbelievably motivated and a lot of that motivation comes from their knowledge that they have us all behind them like you said yourself the Jewish people the billions of people around the world um so we're in a good place and uh what's your message what's both your message to those listening who don't live in Israel what should they be doing how should they be connecting to this what can they be doing to help you to help your children what could we do um I'll just tell you uh an anecdote yibas here are now struggling with I have a lot of friends that are teaching in in American Yas um and uh what they're doing is they're showing them they're showing their kids your message your message that you gave to I'm not sure who the who the attendant recipients were but the recipients are all those yeshivas and seminaries and where you told them that anyone who goes back we don't judge them and we are um and and people do what they have to do and everyone has a different situation but those who choose to stay that they're doing an incredible service for the to for those who who live here and those who are fighting here um it it means so much to us that uh that you you're just you're Shar you're sharing in our what what's the the ultimate when you talk about the ultimate um and act ofus is what we call so you do what you can be to be to be no we have an all now we're we we're we're holding some habit more than others they're the soldiers they're they're the families there are the there are our um the communities and and they and and the people from kit that are choosing to stay or parents that are encouraging their children to stay there being no in our lightening the burden a little bit we're lightening the load we're trying it means it means so much to us um and I you know my in-laws your parents just said they're they're staying and they they they uh canceled their the return flight to go back to bokeh it it just means it means so much to us and it me and all these kinds of things the little things the the little things they all add up to to tremendous support so uh we're grateful for that and the same way you know we always say that uh people if you don't live here you you visit here there not it's not it's not all or nothing you you you you visit you you support you come here for y toin you send your kids here every everyone does whatever they can do and every and every every little bit helps well we're we're going to keep doing it as I told your your daughters um we're right behind you we're with you um we love you we're proud of you we're we're we're connected to you you're all we think about all day and as much as you have to disconnect from the news because you're living it in real time is as connected as we are and struggling to get anything done or be productive at all because all we do is check and check again and stop to say to Hill and then check and then text somebody and then see if there's a rally and um not that we're contributing anything you're you're living it in real time in your ground zero of this whole of this whole thing uh just so that you know how much we feel connected how much we love you and I can't wait to be there visiting in your home and hugging all your children and and be together and celebrating the safe uh return of Israel to the life that it deserves honoring the heroes who restored that peace and who got rid of the evil that could perform such an atrocity and and restored Israel to what it deserves so so thank you thank you for being you thank you on behalf of our family for leading the way and making Al before before Judah and Paving the way for when one day I will be there and uh and being Mom and Dad thank you for for being there thank you for raising a family of of giborim who are who are at the front lines of doing what needs to be done and uh we just we love you from the bottom of our hearts thank you a we know that you thanks for your support it's not just that I think everyone who knows you knows that this is where your heart is and um and it's real and I mean I know that because I know you but that is something that everybody knows and I think whether people are here or not here they're inspired by it um and you have a very very big impact and when you talk about things and you really push you push the things you believe in and you don't you don't step down and you know you don't uh you don't get scared off it show nothing I'm just following what my big sister told me that's look I mean it's all about theim honestly Kim the you know all of the rescue workers zaka Maza people really who have seen things that you know they'll have their own um their own trauma that they'll have to deal with they're really all on the front lines we're trying to you know stay strong behind the scenes and amazing amazing amazing we love you we love you I can't wait to see you Danny yagan a familiar face but an unfamiliar uh dis or location because Danny is a beloved member of B we were here for and on on Shabbat morning uh we were staying in um small yesu just between Ariel and Shilo which is uh in the shamron and one by one we started noticing that the young men of the community a family uh I should say of probably 90 families or so one by one we noticed the uh young men getting sort of picked out of doing and uh people started uh having their phones and Sh people started talking there was some commotion and slowly news started coming in of what was going on in the South and just the brutal and horrific uh attack that took place and the young men of the community just started leaving and um we slowly went from what was a joyous and and very uh Sim filled doing with with dancing to a much more somber and uh just just a more depressing obviously kind of uh late morning and afternoon and uh the men of the community by the end of the hog uh really we're we're down to just ourselves some uh Elders of the community and the women of the community there's such an incredible number of Frontline Fighters that were in this community and in all of the communities of you of yudan shamron that were just getting uh plucked out from schol and their families and were called to to serve for miluim or for uh their replacing other soldiers in different areas to allow people to start to mobilize and and head down south so um we had plans originally of coming back uh Monday night uh to Florida and the situation changed dramatically obviously uh everybody's plans uh you know changed and everybody became focused on the south and I I felt that there was no way I could go back um it just didn't sit right with me I felt that it was uh the right thing to do to be here to be with the people to be with our people our family our brothers our sisters uh in the the community uh in this in the country and just to show support in whatever little way uh that I could I felt I just couldn't go back to Florida and and sit there while this uh was going on as everything developed uh I just knew it was for me it was the right thing the right thing to do Emily and your kids are amazing because obviously they allowed that gave you permission for that they're back they've resumed a routine nothing's normal these days but a routine of life and they support you being there I want to give a shout out to Emily and and your kids for that so what are you doing there right because you didn't stay behind to to taste all the Falafel of Israel you didn't stay behind in order to I don't know what tour tour Israel you stayed behind because you felt that there was a difference you could make so what what what difference is there to make what have you been up to while you're there so I will say uh first of all you're right uh I owe the credit to Emily and my family I I really just publicly I want to thank her and I want to thank my family and I want to uh uh thank uh everybody that uh potentially relies on on uh what I do on a day-to-day basis uh in Florida uh they really allowed me to be here and my wife said something that will really stick with me forever she said you got to do it I know who I married and for me that was really something that W uh was incredibly special and and made made a difficult decision uh much easier and and I knew at that point that it was absolutely the right thing to do so and for those for those who don't know for those who don't know Danny is a brain surgeon a prominent brain surgeon in South Florida and saves lives it's a significant thing for for your colleagues to pick up the slack and and cover you and no but you know this it's at this point the the you know the real heroes are are the soldiers the heroes are the people here in Israel that are are fighting this fight every every single day um I felt that whatever Services I could provide um a lot of flights were canceled a lot of flights were were delayed and and so I was potentially going to be uh you know here a little bit longer but I said you know what I I got to do what I can if there's a skill if there's a skill set a service that I can provide uh to a brother to a sister how could we turn that down tell us a little bit about what what you've been up to and what you're doing and what is that needs to be done yes so the first thing I did was I turned to the hospitals I actually turned to some of the neurosurgery hospitals here within the country uh there was a lot of chaos at the beginning a lot of information a lot of misinformation no one really knew what was accurate and uh I think that was true on many different levels and so there was a lot of um information about needing certain Services equipment and I think that Shabbat and Sunday was a very very difficult day I was not down in the south at that point uh but I think there were people that were really involved in helping identify and and clear and clear bodies um once I turned to the hospitals uh the neurosurgery Services were thank god well covered uh some doctors who are called uim they then have replacement Physicians that were able to cover and also certain above a certain age those doctors were still on staff and on site so the service needs within the hospitals were covered and so for me it became more of what can I do more acutely uh I reached out to a few different colleagues uh Menda vadom colleagues hats Salah United hats Salah colleagues uh spoke with Ellie Beer a dear friend of yours and someone who's been to our community and asked them listen what what can I do um I hitched a ride down to an area outside of stero where there was a staging hatala had actually set up a staging uh facility and we had ambulances there and they were essentially going running Transportation um uh to and from areas around OT AA around the area of Gaza the areas that were were hit the hardest so uh what I was doing was essentially riding on an ambulance a Critical Care Ambulance as a physician in Israel uh that's something that is a uh unique experience in terms of having a medic and a paramedic on an ambulance uh there is the rare opportunity to have a physician on an ambulance and for me that was sort of where I felt I could be the most useful um it's everything from uh routine medical calls that are going on every day chest pain shortness of breath uh to uh even going to the uh police station in stot for an injured Soldier uh an injured police officer that was uh uh uh in the area of stot where Kamas terrorists had taken over that building and unfortunately there were still uh live grenades live RPG missiles that they were working on clearing uh because the terrorists has left that in the building uh there were about 20 terrorists in that building they told us um and unfortunately even seeing some of those uh uh bodies still on the floor in front of the police station was uh something that I personally will never forget um but being able to treat uh a police officer from there for example who was injured by uh uh doing his his duties there clearing some material transporting him to the hospital um providing whatever attention and care we could uh in the field and then bringing them to a local a local hospital um one thing that really stuck out as well in my mind was this Soldier is awake and he's and he's talking to us on the ambulance and he gets a call from one of his comrades one of his colleagues who's actually in the field and he said he said my brother don't worry I'm coming back and that was something that was just so incredibly powerful as a as a passenger you know again these Medics they do this day in day out they do this better than than I do this you know as a physician we're not really uh the First Responders uh but but the prehospital care is done better by them and I was just observing this essentially and the the grit the resilience uh that every single one of these soldiers has uh is I'm going to get back out there I'm gonna fight I'm part of something bigger than myself this is my mission there's no question I'm coming back whatever happens to me I'm gonna get back out there and and I'm gonna fight you know Danny that's really that that quote that statement what you overheard is sort of um really summarizes this whole situation right because Kell took a serious injury the Jewish people the Israeli people took a serious hit in a serious injury and everyone's out there calculating the math you know proportional to America in 9911 this is 10 911s in in one day maybe more and um but that notion that I'm coming back right my brother took a hit I'm gonna get better and I'm coming back and I'm coming back stronger is really the sentiment of what this is all about Soh Dr and agan absolutely I know today today is your birthday Mark Twain famously said two most important days in a person's life are the day they were born and the day they figure out why so this is your birthday and this is your why on the same day of of being in Israel and answering the call and staying back and and giving what you can and lending your expertise you are representing us many of us who wish we could go there right now and volunteer ad do you you representing us and thank you for that stay safe keep doing your incredible work and we love than you and whatever anybody can do there there's a tremendous sense of of loss and there's a tremendous sense understandably of people wanting to do something and and and be here and again action action is key um I think that that's really what differentiates Amel from the rest of the world uh believing in our mission believing in something bigger than us and and standing up for that mission uh a dear friend told me that there's very few times in our lives where we have the opportunity to show our children uh what we believe in what we are made of and something that we are a part of and so even if it's just getting on a plane and coming over just physically being here people in the shook people uh in the schools the people on the streets anybody just seeing presence of people means so so much to them obviously people that have financial means there's a lot of donation um links that are going around but I think for for me it's I I we can't sit back we really can't sit back and so um I think we really need to we're all resilient and we're all reservists we're all being called up we're all being called on and from different places and in different ways and making different contributions but we're proud of you we're grateful to you and hasem should just keep you safe and secure continue to do your great work and I hope to see you there with a big hug and if not we'll be back in bokeh and um I don't want to say happy birthday but I'll say it should be a healthy and a safe and a productive and a mission driven birthday and a day that you celebrate you're coming into this world and and you're answering the question of why so stay safe and uh looking forward to celebrating many many more birthdays and happier circumstances thank you re see you back