#128: Behind the Bima: Zvi Gluck, CEO of Amudim

from Boca Raton Florida rabbis Ephraim Goldberg Philip Moskowitz and Josh Brody are taking you behind the bema the BRS Rabbi schmooze about contemporary issues and talk to special guests who give up behind the scenes look at how they got to where they are and what keeps them going welcome to behind the bema good evening Rabbi from Gover drama my dear colleague and friendra by Joshua Brody and we are here to take you behind the Beamer we're gonna take you behind the bema special guest tonight speaklock the CEO of amudum to be doing outstanding work he is a bowl of energy and passion and fighting in the front lines for the Jewish people really excited to talk to him but before we do checking in on you Rabbi Brody what is going on well just got back from Israel had a very meaningful meaningful trip uh it happened to be it was the the York site of our three boys you say the words our three boys we all know what that means and uh they each were buried next to each other they're actually buried in the cemetery Modi in and they each had about an hour each family because the families remember we think that they're all friends but but they they their children had their own friends and they had their own friends so for the memorial they each have they each have their own hour or so next to their their kevver and uh this past Sunday was a very very meaningful meaningful day I'm sure it's powerful Unity that we all felt when it happened slowing down yeah well in some ways it disappears we go back to fighting and debating and and the Jewish people rallied around the world when they were missing those boys in in our community and everywhere else and unfortunately go back to the divisions thank God we're still fighting the front lines of trying to create the unity but not so simple it's not simple it's really not simple there's that point where you say like why are we fighting like why are we fighting to to to preserve the unity like no one really cares but then you realize you know what actually we do care and we can make a difference worth the fight let me bring up another topic everybody this is graduation season uh and you know as rabbis we I remember in the old days driving even down to North Miami Beach with you to attend some graduations wherever we had you know thank God we got a thousand families now we've got children in schools everywhere it's just impossible to attend every graduation from Early Childhood Pre-K middle school high school all the schools you know thank God it's it's just too difficult to go to everything like we used to in the old days but I actually had two children graduate the last couple of weeks thank God I'm very grateful one from eighth grade one for 12th grade when did it happen my day and I'm sure yours because we're actually the same here when you graduated they just they just handed you to the diploma right your big moment was you'd walk across the stage you got to handle the diploma maybe you pause long enough to take a picture with the principal and you kept moving and today and I'm am I going to comment on I'm just curious for your opinion when did it start becoming that every child we give a little house but every child we describe and talk about and it's it's in some ways a very beautiful thing very heartwarming very moving and our educators are extraordinary and they know our our children well but for every child they don't just handle the diploma they say a paragraph about every about every student and then some graduations you have students talking about their peers plus the teachers talking about the students plus a video talking about the students and the whole graduation in some ways it's beautiful it focuses now on the graduates but in other ways it could be some might describe it as onerous because in schools grow large and they do that it could be a lot of people yeah I just remembered my graduation at JC my mother will she still reminds me that I had a lot of hair and all she wanted me to do was get her hair cut before the graduation and of course I didn't and it was definitely simpler you walk down you got your diploma Rabbi tits gave the uh Commencement Address we have valedictorians salutatorians and that was it and you went outside you had some cake that was the whole thing that's good is this is this reflect something positive something negative is it that children need this now and so that's why we actually or or maybe it's beautiful maybe it was callous and insensitive then and we only highlighted the yeah valedictorian and salutatorian of which I was never any or either and and now it's nice every kid gets their their every student every child gets their chance to shine I don't know is it reflected efficiency in our body you see this right I mean you're a bar mitzvah if anything I don't even spoke about you and if the rabbi did wish a Mazel dub you talked about your parents your grandparents where you come from and and Josh your responsibility now to the Jewish people and now and again it's very beautiful in some ways but we talk all about every every 13 year old boy and 12 year old girl you know they got a logo and and they've got a brand and then and their their questions right talk all about their accomplishments at 13 and 12 you know they're the most amazing they're the greatest nobody reminds me more of this quality and again save your emails don't don't come at me I'm not saying it's a bad thing maybe it's a great thing it's a different thing it's a different thing is that is it a wonderful progress advancement different thing right that that now we we speak about it so we speak about young people at at their graduation we speak about is it a beautiful thing we're much more sensitive and supportive is it a negative thing are we are we somehow um coddling and maybe toughen up a little bit we don't speak about everybody I don't know what do you think any thoughts on them yeah I'm just wondering you know do you even remember that the people remember how much time has been invested into what others are now saying about them I'm thinking back to my graduation so I have maybe a half a dozen or a dozen photographs I look back at I remember the experience it was fun I had a great time at my graduation I remember the end of school it was always it was always something to look forward to but I'm just wondering now that someone's putting in in a lot of effort to speak about you no one spoke about me in my apartment so I don't think certainly the rabbi didn't get up and speak my mother's gonna tell me that she made a speech I'm sure I'm sure she did but I don't remember the the rabbi or certainly the the rabbis at the schools getting up and speaking about me whether it's 8th grade 12th grade and it was fine also I don't think I needed it I don't think any of us look back inside yeah maybe it's nice it's more beautiful today you speak about the boys then on his Boba young the day of his actual Hebrew birthday then then the bar mitzvah when he gets the Elia then again during the the Russia and again it's beautiful I don't I don't want anyone to take this the wrong way or be upset or you know send me emails I'm not saying nothing maybe it's a beautiful thing we're really empowering and we're giving a charge to this child and we're appreciating him and we're building him up and and maybe that's a very beautiful thing maybe we've made a lot of progress are there any unintended consequences do you think it's more free do you think it's for the kid or it's for the family that's a good question right right some of the kids listen I know some kids are looking at them and they really do get it like the bar mitzvah is a day which which is a very meaningful experience to them but there's a whole lot of them and I'm probably in that in that group it wasn't the most meaningful experience I didn't I didn't really know what I was doing I was just kind of going through the motions you hope that maybe something seeped in some some nice words and some are saying they're getting out of here I don't want to be standing on the Beamer next to the rabbi with him giving me some charge I just want to do my Landing blend in mark this Milestone some kids want to be that's the last place they want to be and I can tell you from personal is is it the right thing that we created this expectation and it's not in every Community but in certainly a large segment of the community that abundance of ways to Lane and do that have Torah may be prepared viatora maybe finish something in learning and maybe if you add up all the bar mitzvah lessons and practicing for something he may not ever use again I don't remember the last thing that I've learned and for a few years I laid my bar mitzvah parshaft to the bar mitzvah but that quickly disappeared and today it'd be a lot of work for me to bring it back so are we better off having that boy spend that time learning Torah doing improving his diving helping his parents you know I wonder do we feel systems that just become the Assumption for everyone it's a way to begin like when did boys start lining their parture like when did is that a newer invention for sure there are then there are communities where that's not done right I think the national receivers communities is all done and our parents our fathers certainly our grandfathers would tell you that a piece of kettle they got in Aaliyah their father said Barsha patani everyone said muslim go to work and that was that so yeah it is a newer phenomenon it's almost beautiful you know he gets to really perform and he gets the appreciation the support the love of the whole Community there's a lot of wonderful things about it I wonder whether there are some unintended parts of it and is somebody in charge someone thinking about it it would be courageous to try to revamp it or revolutionize it or or say it shouldn't be such a given and every child hear different options this one may be a future about code Ray Lane your Parsha fantastic go kill it this one learn this and stand up and make a scene and it's amazing you you learned all this over the course of a year this one may be cressed maybe we will highlight you know all the volunteering you did that year the difference that you made yeah I wonder whether we should create some more options nobody's nothing but maybe we should create more options yeah and I I I I I I agree with you and I think that sometimes unfortunately there are kids kids that just feel like whatever those popular options are right now it's just not for me and that's like I kind of feel like a loser like where you know where's my where's my special day for me it's just not working out and so and an age a lot of um and we certainly try to focus on the mental health challenges are we are we creating anxiety anxiety in our young boy like every one of them you've got to be a superstar on the bema literally the stage the whole show watching so I'm ready to jump down your throat if you mispronounce one thing and memorize vowels so is that creating is that creating anxiousness anxiety that's unnecessary nothing yeah see I was in a very different place than I think most of my friends because being the oldest in the grade there's one boy that was older than me Philip but I was I was like I guess one of the oldest and everything was hitting me first before my friends so for someone that had no clue what was going on I'm gonna say no clue I didn't understand what a bar mitzvah was I didn't understand what laning was these are new new words to me so I was like okay I guess this is what you do and it's still I had no idea I think what do you mean like like what's the big deal okay so you make a mistake here and there but why why like like like why are you bothering me Then I then I began to appreciate it a little bit more as I created just to be clear just some questions we're just thinking out loud graduation season we're reflecting on the graduations very beautiful again employed our Educators because because yeah because of the things it's not easy at all not easy at all some of these classes have a hundred 150 graduates so for educators administrators to find something distinct unique individual personal and and and that is feeling that's authentic about each student really kudos to our Educators our administrators they work hard they work hard to make a beautiful graduation and we appreciate them they do a great job absolutely none of this is a criticism it's just thinking out loud right it would be a new a new logo that pops something out loud yeah but it's nice it's nice to hear nice things about you who doesn't want to hear some nice things about them I think we could all use that beautiful thing in any case we're privileged to call our dear friend Steve Gluck and go behind the TV long time come we've been talking about it to be does amazing work if you haven't heard about amudim check out their website and all they do the services they offer not only in New York Israel around the country they have people they're just at the front lines of helping the community on issues of Addiction on issues of abuse and on issues of mental health and they're well connected and they've helped my family you need somebody with a connection you got to get something done travel related or paperwork related and really really amazing and especially without any further ado it's a pleasure invite our friends big luck long time coming we're so excited to finally make it happen one of the busiest people on the planet that I know to see Gluck see thank you so much for letting us go behind the bema together thank you very much and it's really an honor after all these years so yeah I don't know how you have the energy to do what you do founder CEO of you know is just a word it's a brand it's it's the name of an organization but I moved them is everything it's it's the top of your speed dial whether it's somebody's a victim of abuse somebody who's struggling with addiction Mental Health Challenge or crisis any Social Service somebody needs to make it to a funeral in Israel and doesn't have a passport needs it in a couple hours there's just like the catch-all of any Jew anywhere in an emergency I'm not giving out your number but ahmudim is the numbers I don't know the energy for everything but I want to start with this too if you weren't running a mudim what would Spiegler be doing so I grew up in a home full of hasid which means I promised myself I will never go into public service not in a disrespectful way to my father I love him dearly and what he's done for client Israel nobody's done it was not easy and I wanted to be rich that was always my dream how I don't know I went to real estate I tried doing stock you know worked in the stock market for a little bit um but I have to say that with all those things I was never happy I mean I made some money but I was never happy but if I wasn't running a mood then what would I be doing I honestly don't know because truth be told I was I'm doing this work for a number of years before we made it formal as an organization right so I I honestly don't know maybe run some big company or have money maybe hopefully unbelievable where do you get your energy I know that you're you're on call 24 7 not 24 6 you're on call so do you ever run out of energy do you ever call on the offense and you say I hit a wall I'm staying in bed the whole day I'm going to some undisclosed Place forward the phone I need to disconnect because my sanity matters too so the answer is I've never done that I think the ADHD works well for me um but I will tell you that the first time in my life and in 20 years of marriage I actually just did that I went away with my wife for a week and I only had my phone on an hour a day and something crazy happened the world survived it was Unreal but the energy comes I I guess from birth I don't even know it's just that was that like hold on describe that a little bit was the quality I mean again to the degree you're willing to be personal if we can go there but did you discover conversations with yourself meaning were you able to think and just be and breathe the quality of time with your wife somebody who's always on having gone off for the first time in a long time what was that like it was truly amazing and yes to all of it yes I spent a lot of time with my wife that I you know never really got the time to spend in 20 years of marriage I spent a lot of time with myself I mean just sitting out reading books just relaxing and and that's not something that you know anybody that knows me knows I don't know how to relax although now I Do by the way since I came back I I turn off my phone a half hour then I take a walk around the block you know by my office in Manhattan um but it was really amazing and we went on a cruise and we went on the cruise because my wife was convinced that there'd be no service on the cruise but it turns out you have everything now but I still managed to be disciplined and and not do anything and and we talked we went on tours we actually I just really enjoyed I mean it was beautiful it was was it difficult um in the beginning it was like you know I always tell people you know like you have those ghost vibrations when like you feel your phone ringing but it's really not you know um in the beginning it was a little difficult it was like it was an active work on my part my wife was making fun of it a little bit don't get me wrong um but really by the second day it was like wow this is this is the way it should be yeah I mean don't get me wrong it was a seven day cruise by day five I was done um I mean I'm gonna be honest but there's only so long I got it a guy like you there's only so long so you started saying what energizes you when you got to get up in the morning you don't know what's on your plate what you have to tackle who's coming at you that day who you're protecting that day where do you get your energy your the add which you said half jokingly but I think it's important because it's one of the major stories of life is is people leaning into who they are not trying to be something they're not so I'm asking you 10 questions at once I want to go one by one go for it but but did the add ever play a challenge in your life when you were younger did you not fit in a box and that was held against you and then you learned you know what once I'm not in the box and I've got this energy let me use it to help call Israel so I mean I guess going to three high schools three elementary schools I'm sorry three elementary schools and about a dozen high schools probably would answer that question about causing challenges for the add um and the truth is you know I I wasn't I didn't start taking medication for my ADD until I was well into my 30s um and I I really wish I would have started years earlier although people are saying to me maybe you wouldn't have gotten to where you got to if you were you weren't um but I can tell you that you know it really can be channeled to do good um and yes it did cause a lot of issues for me when I was younger um I always tell people that's what makes me an education expert you know having been to so many schools and you know like my father says the thing isn't I never left to school because I was thrown out it was always a management issue I didn't get along with the management you know we had a difference of opinion but um yeah add certainly played a big impact but I will say that since I started taking care of it um pharmacologically and I'm not trying to push drugs on people one way or the other but obviously prescribed in a healthy setting it's it's changed everything in my life my focus my ability to grow into the role that I'm in now I mean I would have never hired myself for this job when we started like it just wasn't me it just happened um but really it so it's like anything else if it's channeled properly and and I have amazing amazing support I mean my wife is my biggest fan and my biggest critic you know at the end of this show she'll probably tell me what she really thinks but um she's very very supportive which is a huge piece of the puzzle I can't tell you how many times I meet people that are involved in various claw work and and I'm not knocking anybody but their Shalom bias is literally doesn't exist and they're they're they don't have supportive spouses or their children don't understand it and that really makes all the difference my kids I mean my daughter Barak Hashem she just came home from Seminary she was so proud of herself because a few times during the year A friend had a problem they needed to get something from the Israeli consulate in New York to go to school or from the American Embassy in Israel and I'm like Lacey just do it reach out to them and she's like what I'm like yeah I'll let them know you're calling I'll give you the number and then she took care of it and then she really made me so proud last week and this shows like the the appreciation of it where a friend of hers needed to get an emergency passport because it was the day they were leaving Seminary and she got robbed and she didn't have anything so she got a police report and my daughter didn't just help her get the appointment but she actually went online with her filled out the application with her made sure that everything was done right so there's there's an appreciation and and my kids from a young age we instilled in my wife more than me instilled the appreciation for has said in public service but at the same time I'm also try very hard to prioritize my children um my kids my son had an MTA last week I see him on mishnais I made sure to be there my kids have events I chaperoned my younger kids went to a Mets game should have been Yankees but it is what it is I I was a chaperone as part of the school you know for as a parent so I try very hard to be involved as well but it really comes from the surrounding support structure and that's really what's important it's so important for people to hear this because on so many levels first of all the fact that you are not ashamed or hesitant to say that you take medication for ADD there's somebody listening right now who's been delaying doing that they're worried about their up their kids should have they're worried about you know what it's going to do to them and someone like you in the position that you're at with the success that you have being willing to be transparent it's it's really important and Kola kabad and thank you for that because there's some listening who's going to be impacted and there's a parent who's whose child has now been had disagreement with the management in several schools in the ready to give up on that channel ready to throw them out and instead lean in and understand that your child is built differently and doesn't fit the system but they're going to change the world the world has been changed and the world is being led entrepreneurs in business and social services and and Game Changers of the world are people who didn't fit in a box often until parents don't give up and people don't give up on yourself just figure out who you are what makes you tick and where you belong that you could change the world in this way like you're doing so it's going to come back to the energy so the day is draining we're going to get to some stories I know of How It's draining not everybody views someone like you as a hero it's it's you you can lose Friends by taking principled stands on things so where do you get that energy to have that like when you're young your daughter just got a taste of what it is to help someone to get them a passport but you get a little bit on in years and that can that can grow old and that can you can want to graduate that so how do you find the energy you work out you sleep a lot you listen to motivational speeches you eat kale what do you do to get the energy no no no no sleep a lot what's that um I so the answer is part of it is I don't know meaning it's there it's it's just a gift that I have from God but I'm also very very blessed because yes I do make a lot of enemies and I make them on both sides of the coin both people that were trying to help families the other way people that say we're not doing enough in certain areas you can't make everybody happy but I always tell this and I tell this to my staff I look at the wins not the losses every single day if I look at something that was done that day either by me or by my inner circle or by my staff I can truly see that it really made an impact in somebody's life and it's not it's something you have to look for because very often you'll help somebody and they won't want to let you know afterwards because they want to forget you existed because you remind them of the darkest time of their life but if you look for it and and I do and by the way there are times that I look for it and because listen there are times I'm dealing with cases that get very very depressing I'm hearing about you know a grandfather molesting a grandkid and like how do you deal with that and then I remind myself one second but in this in this case so and so is doing great married kids or went to social work school you know is who they are and there is hope and I have to look at the wins and I have to look at the benefit that people individuals we're not even talking communities but each individual that is in a better place and that really gives me a tremendous Drive personally to do it and and I'm still human you know let's be honest it feels good it really does you know people like oh you said this such of that no it is a good feeling and and I do enjoy that feeling I hope it doesn't get to my head too much but the fact is it does feel good to know that somebody called for something and I was able to help you know somebody wants I had this in the office but somebody said you know how do you describe an emergency so Rabbi Goldberg how do you describe an emergency that's a good question something emergent it's got to be dealt with immediately right so that's generally the description the way I like to think of it is and again all the people that claim I don't return their calls fast enough are going to get upset about this comment but I apologize but my real answer is whatever that person is calling me for for them it's the biggest emergency because they need to reach out to another person for help and if if we keep that in mind it makes it much easier and it keeps us positively focused you know versus saying oh I can't believe this guy called me for something so silly again sometimes I might say to a guy you know you should really I'm sorry what you're going through but if you just Google that you'll get the answer and I have said that but I try to be respectful when the person calls because to that person when they're calling they don't have where else to turn otherwise they wouldn't be calling because if they had where to go they wouldn't call me and that really creates a big piece of that puzzle but it's one of those things where I have to remind myself constantly that it's not me and I and this is something that I do work on and it's not easy I'm not gonna lie to you and you know I'll add to the thing that Rabbi Goldberg just said a minute ago I'm also in therapy every week and proud of it and I don't miss no matter what and that was one of the big things that I've worked on with my therapist is I just don't want it to get to my head but I at the same time I need to feel good about it so that I remain positive and want to do it and it's a balance yeah and that drives you forward so just I'm sure everyone listening has heard of him I'm with them but pretend somebody hasn't uh we'll we'll go backwards talk about how it started but where we're at now one of my favorite emails of the week is the amudim email that that is sent out I'm not special I'm on the list and it at the end of the week Recaps what ahmudim did and I'm sure it's a brilliant fundraising tool but it's also a fundraising tool it's also a fundraising tool and it's an important tool even for what you just said which is when you look at that email I'm sure the staff prepares it you're able to get a gesh mark you're able to feel good you're able to be gratified by what the organization is doing and if that's part of what's going to contribute and motivate to doing it another week then the email is worth it if you're the only one who got it today but I love getting it too because I'm Blown Away by what's happening so give us the quick synopsis what is amudim how many staff people does it have what are some some of the data and statistics of who's helping and what type of things is it helping give us the quick mudim description okay so the quick description is amudim is based in the US we also have a sister office in yerushalayim in Jerusalem Israel that was initially started for Seminary girls and Yeshiva students we'll get to that in a second um ahmudum right now is what it is now not what we started a organization that its primary focus is we provide comprehensive clinical case management for people in crisis in three target areas victims of sexual abuse people struggling with all sorts of addictions and people with mental health issues but that require what we'll call a little bit more severe intervention whether it's ending up in an inpatient facility or eating disorders things of that nature when I say comprehensive clinical case management all of our staff are all mental health professionals as opposed to just hiring somebody and say hey we'll train you how to speak to people we wanted to bring in clinicians because they understand and things better and for lack of a better word they're the quarterback they're not treating the client clinically but they're assisting whether it's educating the family of what this loved one is going through trying to assist with the proper placement for a treatment program or for a detox or being able to be that supportive hand you know I always tell people case management is the key because if somebody's in treatment and the case manager speaks to the program every week we're keeping on top of it we know what's going on we're making sure there's good quality care and the same thing with you know speaking to the therapist regularly uh the big misconception is that people assume that we're the First National Bank of amudim and they call us regularly if we can pay for expensive treatment then I would love to say yes but we made a husband last year if every person that called us to pay for their inpatient treatment whether it was mental health Eating Disorders trauma treatment or addiction treatment we would have had to raise over 60 million dollars um just not practical so that's primarily what we do is the comprehensive clinical case management then we have our awareness component which is where we put out we've been putting out one PSA video every year um yes those videos cause us you know a lot of grief on the public side you know we get it on all sides you're making Hashem you're embarrassing us but those that have watched our videos and I'm very proud of them because they're done very professionally I mean yishai gross and team that puts together are just amazing they're phenomenal it's just I have no words to describe it the amount of clients we get from those videos is astronomical and I have to say unfortunately we produce the videos after the fact when we notice an uptick of a certain issue is when we're like okay we gotta get something out to create awareness and then the third thing which is also a big shining Apple that I love is we've developed a first of its kind Orthodox Centric social emotional curriculum 5th through 12th grades that is just amazing it is really the preventative measure to put on a business God willing and that is something that we currently have in about 63 schools um and it's something that is and we get in most places we even get the state to pay for it so the schools don't have to spend money on it and that to me is something what types of topics it's everything from healthy relationships healthy decision making uh you know information it's a positively student-led curriculum it's 30 to 45 minutes a week 30 weeks a year we have to train the instructor it's a real program you know people say to me oh but we bring in a program for two days a year on bullying and I'm like yeah so if I only teach you math two days a year well you know your math in three grades like this is teaching people life skills it's not about abuse or addiction but the preventative benefit that this provides is off the charts and I'll add one more piece the amount of cases that we're getting not a modem related but referrals to Social Service organizations High Lifeline poverty issues as a direct result of what the teachers are noticing because of the curriculum is already it's already proved its worth right and then in Israel we opened up initially what are some of the schools that you're in is it a diverse range of schools it's more it's more on the modern side at this point um they were much easier to accept it in we do have a lot of interest and a lot of you know other schools we did create it in a way and again I have to be honest I didn't create anything I we have a staff that did it I don't want to take the credit we have a team of Educators that are all clinicians um Avi Landa from Baltimore who was you know he was he's a social worker or a school psychologist and ta uh who's also wrote that famous kadusha talk curriculum many many years ago on um body changes you know uh puberty changes in boys in a healthy manner Shira Berkowitz in Chicago uh Rabbi Israel grossberg I mean we just have amazing people and all the team are all clinicians and Educators so that's number one um and we are getting a lot of interest we created it that it's not just multiple units it's multiple sessions so if a school comes to me and says you know we'd love this curriculum but we want to make sure it's going to fit our needs I have no problem and the staff knows this remove this portion move this to a different grade it doesn't matter like Reveal Your brutally said it straight to us if you take out 30 of the curriculum you're still saving lives so we're not gonna because some of the other places that do social emotional curriculum it's like it's All or Nothing so we're not all or nothing where you have to have the program you can't just take one I only want to teach on this because our whole purpose is to say we're not a single focused program but if somebody doesn't want a certain thing we'll look we'll say okay no problem we'll remove that part because we still want to get the bulk of it in and yes revelia Brittany and Hillel David were the ones that endorsed it uh your fellow David and his wife actually read through a very big portion it's over three and a half thousand pages of curricula um and we're always making changes and we just added an entire piece for seminaries and yeshivas we have six uh places in Israel that we made a 13th grade about healthy relationships as it relates to marriage Financial issues as it relates to becoming an adult we have an entire session on an eighth grade of transitioning to high school you know I I never had anything like that but you know being able to have something to teach those skills that are needed practical everyday skills in a healthy Manner and that just makes me so proud it's under darkenu that's the name of it and we have the secular version It's called hour path so we have about 45 staff in the United States um between the various offices the genu itself has in addition to that their hand was about five staffers of which three are full-time two are part-time and then we have a bunch of curriculum writers or people that work per diem in Israel we actually have two parts we have the amudim proper which is the case management that has 11 employees and we recently did something amazing we partnered with Yu with Wertz Wireless School of Social Work and we actually opened up a full service mental health clinic in Jerusalem for the English-speaking population it's called the Jerusalem Therapy Center and this was a win-win for everybody we needed quality therapy for our clients words while there needed a place where their students can do internships and we needed a way that we can ensure that the next generation of therapists are getting proper and good training so it works both ways so that we have there as well and but I will say that even though in Israel we started specifically for the Yeshiva students and Seminary girls about 50 of our clientele there now are families either families that made Aliyah but they're still never integrated into the um uh Israeli system we'll call it our culture and we also have a big piece that we're dealing with which is a lot of Lone soldiers again the English-speaking ones mostly American that you know while there's a lot of amazing programs for lone soldiers in Israel and we're not looking to take anything away let them do everything they do but for the mental health side of it we're doing what we can to ensure that they're remaining in a good healthy environment so amazing it's really amazing yeah so I'm just wondering I mean your passion is incredible and everything you've built is so so impressive are you the type of person that when you get together with with with the staff or with your board where you say I've got something great and then they might push back and say well I don't know if this is the right time how do you deal with with with the people you work with when you're so so excited about everything you want to do so I'll I'll tell this to you straight okay I have to learn how to switch from Passion running my daily life or emotions I should say rather because I'm with them was all built on emotions men decline all of a Shalom when we started it was 100 an emotional train running 180 miles an hour okay there was there was very little thought but then again when Mendy was alive I also had number one that person that pushed me more than I would ever be pushed and someone who was just as emotional if not more than me so obviously that changed but I will tell you about a year ago I had a board meeting and I and I said the following to my board of directors and I'm going to say it exactly the way I said I said guys I love um is my life but amudum is becoming a much more professional organization that is getting involved a lot more in clinics in education and getting licenses for Behavioral Health and I just don't think it's me and if you guys would like to start a search for a new CEO and I'll go to fundraising or I'll go to awareness I won't be insulted I promise you like I really think that amudum is at a point where it needs a very very strong leadership um Moishy Wolfson in the meeting was laughing and he goes oh if this would be a board meeting of a public company a stock would have just gone up um but he says that passion that drives the organization we can't change uh you know and this went back and forth and we've decided that we're actually searching to bring in a real Co to really help deal with that and I'm gonna be more on the Visionary side and and the stuff that I'm much better at but that's a reason for exactly what you're saying is that the passion is amazing and I and I appreciate it but it's also not always practical you know if I had my dream we would have inpatient facilities for adolescents opened up I would have satellite offices in in every community that there's a firm Community because there's probably not a single from community in the world and I say that point blank that we do not have clients we've helped in I would have taken this you know to Crazy levels even though the joke I say is I never thought I would get to where it is and if I would have thought so when we started it I I probably would have never done it so I'm happy I didn't know but I have to say that before ramudram started there was a very very dear friend of mine who was supporting me privately in doing this type of work it was a laser Shiner now he's become very famous with the adira Torah you know project that he's been amazing with but this is you know years ago and he took me under his wing and he was pushing me up until about two years before we finally started lamudum of saints V you got to take this to the next level you got to make an organization and I kept saying laser I don't want to it's I'm good now I can help those that need help and those that I can't I could say no and and he kept pushing the envelope and saying you have to do this and the truth is you know he was right and Men decline elevation they were right and this needed to be done but if I had my way we would be we'd also be doing a lot of things that I'm going to say this carefully and I know I'm going to get into trouble okay passionate also means that I have no problem putting out a tweet not really thinking about it first let's say or writing an op-ed and not really giving it much thought other than I'm just emotionally doing what I need to do and that might be great for speaklock and by the way it's great for my own emotions but that's probably not the best Forum with them as an organization and I gotta keep that in mind too so it's not an easy balance but the fact that I'm able to at least understand that is very helpful in keeping me from really Crossing that line but like I mean you know one of the big things about amudum is that specifically with sexual abuse is we've made we have plenty of room where we still got to go I want to make that clear we're nowhere near where we need to be but we're light years ahead of where we were years ago light years ago let me intercept one second because I'm actually that was what I wanted to ask you next was somebody listening says I'm so happy there's and I moved them I'm happy the world has a speak luck I'm happy for The Fringe really rare cases where there's abuse in the Jewish or the firm world I'm happy there's someone to help them but come on how prevalent is this how much does this really happen it's got to be like so what once every like four or five years someone calls you because the grandfather is the grandchild now again as a practicing Rabbi I know that that's not true but what would your answer be let's go one by one let's start with abuse and then we could talk about what's happening in the world of addiction today and the and the Really explosive growth of Edibles and all kinds of things let's start with abuse is it a rare occurrence does some of them really need to exist how often do you get a phone call what does the person who has no exposure to this need to know about the challenge that that exists so one of the things about being data Centric is I don't want to give you the numbers I'm going to literally as I'm talking to I'm shifting my eyes for a second that I'm going to just log in to what we have this month okay yeah and I'm going to give you the numbers of what activity you know what I'm going to give you make because that's a completed month so I'm not gonna you know be able to uh yeah we can't skew the numbers so in the month of May we had a total of 1 472 Active cases that we dealt with now active means it could have been open the month before two months before four months before or that month meaning it was active during that month okay of those 600 were involved in sexual abuse wow now people need to understand a few things first of all 93 of all sexual abuse occurs either in the home or by somebody really really close to the family a family friend a neighbor someone who's a Ben bias a boss bias it doesn't matter and very often just yesterday I was actually on the phone with my Clinical Director and and a client with Miriam langri like I told you before the call I never speak to female clients if I don't have a staff member that's with me that's a female that's on the line because it's just not worth it this is very sensitive issues truth is I generally don't even deal with clinical issues so much anymore my staff are amazing I don't have to but every once in a while there's a you know a heavy lift that I need to either speak to a rub about or something so we got to take it to those levels and this person while they're discussing things with me they're talking about how much they love their father who was their abuser and I know he didn't mean it so you talk about Stockholm syndrome or you talk about people they still love their abuser and that's the bulk of the work that we're dealing with you know people often say to me well why aren't more people arrested or why don't you publicize all the abusers again everyone has their own place of what needs to be done and I'm all for somebody's abusing and you got to keep the world safe you should publicize it but we have our system of how we operate and we're operating within a certain framework and you know and it's so interesting because people on the right they're always saying we're making I mean people on the left are saying we're not publicizing enough so no matter what we do we can't win but sexual abuse is still the number one topic that we deal with and I have to say I would probably open up and and you see this from the weekly charts Rabbi anywhere between 18 and 25 new reports a week now a lot of these are people that are in their 30s 40s even 50s saying something happened when I was much younger and you know I need help now it doesn't necessarily mean that they're new cases and I will tell you that the bulk of our work now and I'm a data Freak Like I said so I I'm always looking at things based on zip codes algorithms is there an area that needs more services like what's going on and we literally built our system in a in an amazing way um but most of our cases now are previous cases meaning it's people that were abused years ago we're getting less new cases but I'm going to now speak out of both sides of my mouth of the new cases we're getting of sexual abuse we're getting them right away so just in the last two weeks we had three cases that came to us within a day of the abuse occurring and and in two of the three they were actually arrests made the third one there wasn't but again our goal is not yes or not arrest our goal is helping the victims and help turn them into Survivors by any means possible but it's much more often than people think addiction you know just before kovid um the the epidemic whatever we want to talk about with opioids was really on the way down and it's right back to where it was and then some and you have some of the greatest people in your community that are practitioners in substance abuse and alcohol abuse I mean and these are things that we're dealing with men women you know it used to be when we were younger you know I never heard of a 15 year old that was using uh heroin you know a 17 year old was maybe smoking weed I have 13 year old clients that are addicted to hard drugs I mean so these are problems that are everywhere and what if someone says yeah the hard the heroin and those those are hard drugs again that's out of what if somebody says but what's so bad about a little marijuana is Weed really addictive is it really going to is it a gateway drug is it really such a terrible thing that adults are bringing Edibles to shul or getting through a Shabbos meal or I don't this is a graduation season I have to get through some graduations if if we didn't have technology I don't know how you get through a graduation today about two of my own kids graduated I don't know how you get through graduation if you don't have a little technology so someone says to survive graduation I had to take an edible in the car I you know I I took a couple hits on uh what would you say to somebody in terms of the prevalence of marijuana these days so first of all you just said a key word rabbi to survive it I need it that in itself is a sign of a problem now we want to talk the word Addiction so you'll have and I love this especially with teenagers and young adults they're all pharmacological experts they know everything about what does what concoctions how to make it safe not safe so I'm not even going to go that route I'm just going to say it very simply there's two types of people that are going to use weed there are those that are running from and those that are running to those that are running from for that category it's absolutely can be a gateway drug absolutely because whatever you're running from is never going to be dealt with because you're running from it and you're going to keep going down that path for those that are just looking to relax and they're over the age of 30 because let's be blunt we all know that whether legal or not it certainly affects the brain and the brain cells in brain development and brain growth and it's it's a big dis you know dispute whether it's 23 years old 28 years old when does the brain stop fully developing so off the bat if anyone's under 30 they should never do it just for the simple reason of it messes with your brains and it really does you know the old commercial this is your brain this is your brain on drugs right that just made me hungry and I wanted eggs it never did anything to me about you know addiction but the truth is it does fry the brain but now let's take it to a much different level so if somebody says I needed this so they're going to say but it's not addictive you know there's no addictive chemical in the weed so it's not like I'm going to get addicted like hard drugs so that might be true clinically however the feeling that it gives that becomes addictive and the example is what you just said I can't get through a without B that in and of itself is that clear sign I can't get through the rabbi speech if I don't have a shot before so this is the other problem people say to me all the time yeah but weed nothing bad can happen with weed and I'm like listen we've had clients that overdosed that smoked weed not realizing that weed was being laced as well it's not just heroin it's not just cocaine it's not just pills it's everything anything you know drug dealers are not the most you know ethical people they want to make a living and they're going to make their living by getting you to want to use more drugs and the truth is we've had that and that's this guy oh what if I buy it legally from a store and everyone's looking for ways to go around it now the truth is listen alcohol shouldn't be illegal either I mean you know after we put out that video the Kiddush Club you know I my friends didn't talk to me for a year my wife's friends were all thanking it but the fact is that was very true but alcohol only became legal not because it's good but because the government needed to stop the murder and all the crime of prohibition it wasn't like somebody woke up one day and said wow alcohol is great you know you look at marijuana it became legal pretty much for the same reasons and if you look at Colorado and you look at the statistics of accident rates and crime those numbers are actually worse than it was before it was made legal so a lot of these things but it's going to be legal in all 50 states whether we like it or not so people say with alcohol you know everything in moderation you're right to abuse it to become dependent relying on it to need it we can all agree on a bad place but everything in moderation you know a nice a nice little high I'm a good single malt certainly it's a huge part of the Jewish tradition from a Bristo a wedding to benching to kiddish so there's an element right so it could be it could be it's grape juice not wine but you know we're we're a people that have a illustrious history of in moderation always in moderation what are you seeing now in terms of the The Firm community's obsession with first of all financially I'm seeing it put people in debt who can't afford to try to keep up with bottles of wine or scotch or the latest tequila or financially it's a disaster for too many people who are on all kinds of break and tuition assistance and and dues adjustment at their shul but somehow every Shabbos are able to put out on their table what many others can't afford and that's irresponsible and unfair to those who are subsidizing their their hobby but aside from the financial component just in terms of the environment Purim simchastora kiddishes kiddish clubs are you seeing that trickle down to the people who are innocently going today but are there kids becoming a modern clients tomorrow so the answer is yes and and you you really once again I mean I'm maybe I should move out there and be your misspell because you're hitting the nail on the head on each item the issue of alcohol is multifocal okay so I'm gonna go in Step number one forget about the money for a second this father that needs to have that bottle what are his kids learning right what are his kids valuing let's just we're not even talking about alcoholism we're talking about now lessons of life so I'm not gonna lie I have alcohol in my house and I'll make Allah here and there I'm not sober I'm not going to deny it but in my house the Minogue is the alcohol is not in a cabinet that has glass meaning you cannot see it when it's in the cabinet I take it out for the look I am pour the cup and put it back in the cabinet it does not stay on the table it is not promoted as oh wow you know I just went on a trip and we have this crazy expensive alcohol because my kids need to understand that it's you know not the norm and it's not for kids and there are things that are for adults and not for kids and that's okay but it can't be promoted as this great thing now unfortunately keeping up with the Joneses is a big thing so you'll have some shoes that have gone completely sober they've gone dry well my experience has told me when a shoe goes dry the house next door becomes wet because the people that want that are going to do it whether you like it or not so you got to come up with a way of moderation so we've developed some systems where like no alcohol should ever be served it should always be a bartender or a showmar serving it so there's never access to it alone whether it's an adult or a child if you the person that's pouring it sees the person is has you know children for sure no alcohol if an adult they think okay you've had your two shots enough to limit it so there are ways that things can be done but from the alcoholism side and this is the part that's fascinating um I remember my first shot of Canadian Club I think it was that I took from my father's you know cabinet without permission and I don't remember if it took me a split second or a point of a second to spit that out because it was disgusting right but yet somehow I had another one and you think about it why because when you see other people doing it it becomes the in thing to do and it must be good um and that's where I mean I have people that come to my house and go I can't have a drink until I take my acid reflux medicine first because it's going to create so don't drink like what do you what do you need to drink for if you have this problem right so so once that happens now now at the end of the day it does feel good once you get that feeling of euphoria or that feeling of not caring right and now somebody that's had a hard week or had a hard day this is now the way they can get away from it so now the addiction is getting built up over time but the problem that I'm seeing is long before the addiction it's you know what are we doing to address it I mean there was a study done by the um uh by one of the associations that said the average parent speaks to their kid about an inappropriate drink when they're between 13 and 14 and the average age in America when someone has their first drink is between 11 and 12. now I'll just throw it a different way I mean people go to Yeshiva right and and we teach our kids how to be a mensch don't steal right we teach them all these important things I'm talking in addition to hamesh gamara Rashi taisfus math science but when it comes to trying to bring in addiction education into schools well we don't want that we can't have that we don't have that problem here so it's like we're Limited in the way where we're teaching our kids the wrong thing from the beginning they're seeing it in shoes they're seeing it at some Chris now let's add the money part to it right what my bar mitzvah we're not going to have that entire display like someone else had and what message are we teaching our kids and where do our kids spend the bulk of their day in school and we're not even combating it in school because the schools don't want to address it so we've created this vicious cycle that is just getting progressively worse unfortunately is it is it is it safe to assume that if you do have that conversation with your kids and you say listen stay away from the drugs stay away from the the shot of of vodka that might be at your friend's house that they're actually going to listen they're going to do it they're not going to bow to the peer pressure and say okay let me give it a sip no probably not right but here's the answer I tell people and I do this all the time I don't think that when I walk into a high school and I give a lecture about something that nobody in that high school is ever going to touch anything again because of my speech right but what I do believe is if it even gives a point to one person that now realizes they have a friend that maybe went a little bit above the line and will reach out for help or somebody themselves realizes they're being pushed and will reach out that that planting that seed can be everything in the world kids are going to be kids we were all kids you know I mean and that's just the reality and and we're going to do things and they're gonna make mistakes and that's just life but there's also the question of how to react to it you know I tell my kids I don't care what you do if you do the worst thing in the world wrong as long as you're honest with me and you call me and you know that I'll be there to help you I mean I learned this from one of my family members who told his kids do you ever have a problem you can always call me and as long as you address it I'm never going to mention it again his 15 year old kid called him one night and said Dad I went to my friend's house and I'm really drunk I need you to pick me up and the father true to his word picked him up brought him home never said a word to him never again about I can't believe you went there they could never drink again it was a much more powerful tool than you know the other side kids are going to be kids and we have to let that happen but we have to educate them to understand what's going on and I say the same thing by the way about abuse just not to jump the other one but like somebody can teach their kids everything about sexual abuse it doesn't mean their kid's going to be protected but the line I say is somebody may not protect their kids from getting abused once but they'll be able to make sure it doesn't happen a second time because if the kid has the proper thing they'll be able to say something and do something yeah but your point about the alcohol in your home and the moderation I think it was Dr pelkowitz I don't want to be misquoting him who once told me about a study that showed that a lot of Alcoholics grew up in a home that were dry and in fact if you have role models who are modeling moderation it's actually healthier than almost being obsessed with it in the opposite direction of we can't be anywhere near it and now you make it the forbidden fruit so I I don't know that you've seen that that was right so that was years ago and I'm not going to argue that but today we're living in a new world because it doesn't matter what your home is everyone has a friend whose home isn't so everybody sees something somewhere and people can get into it any way they want so it's really more about just trying to educate them and to understand what what the dangers could be and do so in a in a normal manner meaning I'll speak to my kids I'll show them reports about like as an adult I'm talking to them what the dangers can be you know I'll talk about how in car accidents with a drunk driver the driver is the one that lives and lives the rest of their life knowing what they did to other people so we first of all thank you for your time it's been a great conversation and I know I know we're winding down because you got more lives to save and there's a lot to do I want to just change gears as we wind down to talk a little personally about your relationship with Hashem and I don't mean bear all right now for us but in the following way and and I I feel a little bit in my line of work I think you must do many many many many fold more than than the regular roof and that is because you're standing up often for the victim for the underprivileged for unusual unpopular positions to take beat about kiddish clubs are permitted about so many issues you get threatened you get harassed you get screamed at you get nasty emails and I remember a couple years ago you sent out in one of these reports and you told the story and then I there was an email a couple minutes later that clarified a shy that was asked and that's why we did and I wrote you a little text just because my heart broke for you like you're saving you're doing good things clearly you got beaten up and and you know I'm sure many of them you ignored for whatever reason that one you had to respond to don't don't get into that particular email but how do you not how do you not encounter Jews who outwardly present themselves like they're super religious and meanwhile they're abusing their wife their children their grandchildren their husband you encounter supposedly very righteous Jews who are acting in very unrighteous ways supposedly very righteous segments of the community were threatening you bullying you suing you harassing you calling you names and how do you at the end still still want to be connected to that Jewish people or have a relationship with the god of those Jewish people how do you separate Judaism from the Jews when you need to in those moments has it impacted your relationship with Usher so great question I'm surprised that more people don't ask this because it's it's it's it used to be a big challenge you know my wife getting fired from her job where she was making real money because she's married to me and her boss's best friend was someone who went to jail over an abuse case you know that that's where it hits the bottom line you know not being able to pay my own bills as a result but I'll tell you what really happened I used to think that the problems that we deal with are Jewish problems they're from problems they're already problems there I see this problems they're liters problems and I was always focusing on that and then as I started realizing it and I joined the first task force I joined was the New York State Suicide Prevention task force and I was at meetings in all parts of the state and I'm realizing that the issues are really all over and as a matter of fact we're doing better in the following way we at least have communal organizations and people that support that care and it's not just by the way amudham is definitely you know the best one because I run it but it's not just download them there are so many amazing organizations out there that are providing Mental Health Services emergency response so many things and that I wasn't seeing at all these committee meetings so that was the first part that really showed me like okay I gotta go back to Rabbi um oh my gosh I'm blanking out on his name now Don't Judge Judy him by the Jews Rabbi Barrel wine yeah okay his famous line then I started realizing that there's two other things I need to accept number one is there are there is a concept of good people doing bad things person could be good in general and make a mistake but there's also a bigger concept of bad people making believe they're good and we can go with the famous and I started really internalizing that to myself where I used to say how can a Rob do this and now I'm saying to myself it's not a rough the fact that people think it's a rough doesn't make him a rough so he's not a rub as far as I'm concerned he's aritzia or he's a shag it's or even you know worse than the abuser sometimes is the rabbi that protects the abuser because the abuser one might say again I'm not saying this as a statement but one might say oh he's sick again it's not an excuse but for the person protecting the abuser there's definitely no excuse like on any level but so I used to always get upset and now I'm saying to myself you know what at the end of the day these are not good people so they're not representative of what Judaism is and people have heard me say this line all the time I promise you what we see today in clay Israel is not what Hashem had in mind or when the Torah was given in asina that I can tell you for sure however there's also something else that I keep telling myself and I turn to people such as yourselves for that type of inspiration which is we're dealing with a Mia a percentage of a percentage a minority of a minority of yes the most difficult problems don't get me wrong I'm not going to minimize it and and we need to do it but when I look at people that are good and are doing so much good whether it's in their communities whether it's interested organizations I mean who else in the world other than Claudia Israel has what we have whether it's high Lifeline kids of courageous our place it doesn't matter right the list can go on leave um there's so much has said that and I and I tell this to my staff also we have to remember that this is a beautiful world there's so much good in the world to be able to do what we do but we can't let that drive us I can't wake up every day and say oh my God this is the world is crazy now don't get me wrong I have hard days and there are things that happen that really they create problems and and you know and usually it's when I'm dealing with the situation and the family doesn't want to help you know it's like like I gotta raise money for this person's kid because they don't want to do it and then you know but then I remind myself stop these are people that are sick they're ill they're not well but Claudius row as a whole that's not us Claudia's role are good people we are we we want to do good and we inherently do want to do good and sometimes there's misguided conceptions of doing good where people are using the wrong ways but that's really what I tell myself is that overall what we have no one else has right it's beautiful that's a great perspective and place to leave it all of us can look at the Jewish people with that pride and satisfaction see we're grateful you've done enormous favors for me and my family and from my Boca family I'm honored that a couple times you've reached out to me a particular high profile person in Israel needed a rabbi in America to do something for them and it was my honor to be able to do that and just just a partner it's an amazing thing there's there's so many questions we didn't get to so we're gonna have to continue the conversation elsewhere and and continue the partnership in ways yet to be determined but there's a lot of work to do and thank you for everything you do for claw Israel thank you for being on the front lines thank you for all that you endure to be able to do it and thank you for your friendship and and always answering the call whenever we need you my pleasure and thank you I mean that works both ways because of the times I need you you're front and center there as well so and I don't know how you have the time because you're even busier than me in between all of this you have I mean how many families are now yeah keep up the great work thank you very much and Rabbi Josh Brady thank you a pleasure meeting you again Robert Brody would you think so much more we could have spoken to him yeah I love guys like that I love it so much energy and it just shows you you know if you if you tap into the right thing to propel yourself into places which you never knew were possible look what he's done I'll tell you what I'm I'm really appreciative of and and I hope people took notice of she's mentioning that he takes medication help him with his add to focus and that he doesn't miss a session with his therapist every week and it's still even though you'll say well today it doesn't take so much courage to admit that it still take courage be a CEO of a major Jewish organization making a huge difference public personality and to say that it takes it takes courage and we appreciate it because there's no shame there's no Stigma it's wonderful and I think you can relate to the people he's trying to help because all of us need support and help and there's no shame in it it's only a shame in not getting it and I love when he said they took vacation and you know after uh five days or seven days on vacation the world was still there he turned off his phone and you know what everything kept on moving the world's still there whatever our fears are yeah we can't do it we can a lot 30 30 minutes a day just shut off that phone and just go for a walk yeah I love it you feel like that's some something that if you remember we went to what was it Kellogg right right Western they were the CEOs were telling us the same thing it was like an hour a day I'm going for a walk around the the lake I think to just be I did this this week but I spoke at my Yu 25th graduation was celebrating the 90s and for me a little little uh sort of flex a little autobiographical maybe speaking of therapy I'll have some therapy right now with you in front of the world it was a little Redemption for me because I was never a great student never in the top class never great grades certainly was never in consideration for any award at graduation and you know thank God I have siblings who are brilliant and wonderful and accomplished my my younger brother who's so humble and modest you know him but was valedictorian of everything he's ever been to and done in his life and um you know I was more as a young guy getting I got a lot of the conversation about being a classic underachiever you know Ephraim why don't you just try harder you know you're smart enough why don't you apply if only you applied yourself you could get the better grades you can get further that was my the classic speech I got on a regular basis particularly report card time was you know the utopian underachiever so fast forward 25 years and I'll tell you something even more you ready I just come back I might regret this but hey you know that like three years after my while you graduation I had this recurring nightmare that why you kept calling me back they wanted the diploma back really you're missing credits you you didn't pass this class you didn't really finish college we want the diploma back I think I even made a copy of my diploma in case in case they called the one I have to give it back anyways you know it felt good fast forward and uh I was really honored honored and privileged and proud I hope this isn't like a humble brag but it was exciting for me to have the opportunity I was very grateful and I spoke about nostalgia walked down a little Memory Lane of Yu in the late 90s and uh hakara satov gratitude president Berman and the president's Administration when I was there and all the wonderful work they're doing today and also a little responsibility fellow graduates of uh I was virtual I was I couldn't go there were people who went in person in New York and there were people who tuned in from Israel and I I was on Zoom from from Boca but you know what this education these rebayim this this masora what are we doing with it where are we going with it what's our responsibility for the future with that with my uh those are my thoughts but it was really a little Redemption for me it felt good it was nice would you have gone in knowing what it looked like now would you wanted to see everyone I couldn't I couldn't really see it was there because it was Zoom so um I only saw myself but I did I did get the feedback got some texts from friends who were there and it's you know it's nice what's amazing is you could go 25 years without speaking to someone but if you if it was a really formidable Time of Your Life experienced conversions and and when we were there and just like in our Yeshiva years there was no cell phone there's no text there was no social media all the things that make us absent present we were fully there so when you were in the dorm late at night either studying or you know just hanging out or having deep meaningful conversations about life you were there was nobody was like hey get off your phone or stop don't post this or stop recording this or get up social media no silently whatever you were doing you were fully doing right so you were in the basement you were in the sheer you were in the cafeteria you were in the gym you were I mentioned one of the Nostalgia things somebody actually texted because they loved it on Thursday nights we used to have nights later we used to learn until midnight and then at midnight the gym was open till 2 A.M we go play ball from 12 to 2 and at 2 am you drive up the West Side Highway to H H bagels and H Bagels at 2 A.M the fresh Bengals were coming out they were going to be going delivered around Manhattan and they would melt in your mouth fresh cream cheese or slice ripe tomato so I was walking down at the age and it doesn't exist anymore but those bagels were something anyway so but the point is so when you were driving up the West Side Highway at 2 A.M on Thursday nights nobody was on their phone nobody was taking a picture and nobody was posing nobody was you know it was you just you were fully present in whatever you were doing and we'll never have them again well I mean we can again that's a city like we're saying you can turn your phone off and we do have Shabbos the gift of Shabbos but our kids don't we'll never have that again we'll never have like right even even driving you're just driving your car it's just you were you were you weren't distracted you were maybe listen to liquor you're listening to the radio but it was it was just so much more peaceful here you're trying to figure out can I check the phone can I check the the text I don't know where I'm going who's calling me those old bitter men who you know you can't turn back the clock it is there's so much blessings a lot of broadcast now it's just a you know walk down memory lane Nostalgia I love that great my camera here is my Yu years my collo years of post marriage you just you were fully fully immersed and so the the people you haven't seen in years but you had those conversations or they left that impression or they're part of molding and shaping and you they and the influence you had on each other you can not see each other for years and when you see each other I think it's also a guy thing more than a girl thing you can not be in touch and then you're like I see people at weddings today and you haven't seen them in years like what's up how are you what's going on remember then try it down and how is this going it's great I love that we just saw it at a wedding I just you know Brett and Sue we just saw from high school just last week yeah it's just great there's nothing like it there's really really nothing like my friend I grew up in motion Weinberg and not not the Roma Beach coach my friend much Weinberg from Teaneck and I went to school with my whole childhood we've reconnected more recently and stayed in touch he just sent me the other day a picture of our of our pre of our Pre-K Nursery picture and he sent me trying to identify everyone in the picture you know some of the people it's like I miss three can you name those three and you know that was some haircut I had back then the famous step are we at that stage where middle age now we're just we're like stuck a little bit in the in the past I love being stuck there we're hopefully planning JC's 30th High School reunion in Israel this summer so hopefully I love that place soon I love love it well Beauty it's always welcome it's always fun walking down memory lane I love that so I love it another great conversation thank you Steve for joining us behind the we've got great great guests coming up until next time stay happy stay healthy stay home