#121: Behind the Bima: Darryl Strawberry, Baseball Legend

from Boca Raton Florida rabbis Ephraim Goldberg Philip Moskowitz and Josh Brody are taking you behind the bema the BRS Rabbi schmooze about contemporary issues and talk to special guests who give up behind the scenes look at how they got to where they are and what keeps them going welcome to behind the bema good evening Wednesday at 9pm I am at rabaya from Goldberg joined by my dear friend and colleague Rabbi no not one of my Joshua Brody he's on break celebrating a big SIM from the Brody family and aviga's engagement is that incredible incredible news stepping in this week is a special guest host is none other than our fact Checker my brother-in-law the great binyamin AKA Ben Michelle you'll understand that later Benjamin thanks for joining and taking us or should I say it as my intro voice okay behind the bema behind the beam it's great imitating Rabbi Brody any of the above would work but Benjamin it's actually before we thank our sponsors and get into it this is really interesting because the original idea for a podcast years ago was that you and I brothers-in-law dear friends share a lot of interest and I have a lot of heated great passionate conversation and debate that we would start a show together and that never came to fruition a lot of Life got in the way and Corona launched behind the bema and ended up doing it with the rabbis as we were separated so this is uh sort of interesting that we're we're back to the original idea you and I together yeah I don't remember it as it's I don't remember being the idea that was supposed to be the two of us as equals it was more this is going to be your podcast with me kind of helping trigger some questions or get you to sleep yeah no no I want to be clear that was not that was an opinion by the way last time I co-hosted it was I think over the summer and we spoke about the Oxford comma and two spaces after a period you should know I got a lot of feedback it's amazing the reach of the show and everybody agreed with me of course the feedback you got and I got all the feedback of the people who agreed with me but let's take a moment to thank our generous sponsors keeping it in the family this week happened to be my mahatanum Jill and Bruce Minsky makhatanum and dear friends we happen to share a granddaughter in memory of they sponsored this episode in memory Benjamin of our grandparents in law let's see if people can follow this our in-laws parents Aaron and Esther Goldsmith and Israel brookstein uh really intribute to our in-laws to honor their parents which is a very beautiful thing we're grateful to the Minsky's we love the Minsky's we can't wait to celebrate pesach with the minskys and we're we're very excited to be together also this episode is sponsored Again by the real Panama tours the real panamatours.com if you're going to Panama and you want to be able to see the country and taste the countless kosher restaurants and enjoy and see Panama you gotta check out the real Panama tours.com our special guest host what is what is being a guest host on this episode mean to you it is not random or chance that this is the episode hosting that's not random we happen to have a guest that you're very excited about why is that uh I think it's above there uh well as a child of the mid to late 1980s born in 1982 and raised as a very early Mets fan uh there are pictures of me and Metzger and videos of me my four-year-old birthday party was the Mexican party and I turned four in 1986 and so the 1986 Mets in particular and the Mets that I grew up with again I was forced I don't really remember 86 but certainly growing up the the biggest presence in my life outside my parents was and maybe my grandparents but maybe not was uh that was none of I got forbid but listen as a kid who loved Sports especially loved baseball especially love the Mets Daryl strawberry Keith Hernandez doc good and these were childhood Heroes and the idea that you invited me to participate in a conversation with uh with Daryl strawberry uh was pretty exciting until you trolled me brilliantly told me we could talk about that also because that was good thankfully the picture the picture up there uh for those watching you can see he's wearing an old school early 80s Mets Jersey uh we can discuss what year but I think nobody else cares uh but the uh the original flyer for the episode was uh just I think general just in a sweater but there was a fake flyer I don't know if you're trying to access it now but there's a fake flyer that you had made up just to share with me like here's our guest next week it was Daryl strawberry in a Yankees jersey and you knew that I would take the bait and say this is ridiculous so you had the flyer made up just to troll me and it was all worth it full marks for that because I I bought it I bought it so yeah I shouldn't in retrospect it was I was too easy it was such a it was like obviously it was too easy but it was fun and the Dallas strawberry listen we'll we'll have them on momentarily and we'll speak to him but he has turned his life around not only because he went from the Mets to the Yankees but he turned his life around from uh substance use and challenges to being a person who's got his life together more than just in baseball and is an inspiration in that sense tackling some demons and also standing with the Jewish community and standing up for Israel and that is um really worth listening to what he has to say and excited to be able to bring him on momentarily Benjamin pesach is coming what does that mean for you is that true it's coming I guess uh today's Wednesday oh wow all right so it's a week from tonight uh yes now uh it means a lot to me I love pesach um pesach has always been uh for us a family uh Affair so we go uh we're gonna go up to New York to visit with my family then shawnee's family our mutual family so we sing a lot of family every young Tiff and it's a it's something that struck me I guess it's obvious it only struck me after I got married which is that it's the holiday that is really for most a lot of people the most personal one Rosh Hashanah okay there's different tunes that uses But ultimately Rosh Hashanah for most Ashkenazi Jews is the by and large the same okay by and large it's the same okay you might have different uh fruits the second night or different foods okay yes you can make a Soca differently all the way it's the same holiday pesach the Seder is such a personal thing and the hug him the Tunes the men hug him the jokes it's such a people get so embedded I I don't think I'm speaking just for myself here that people get so embedded in it that the first year you go to a Seder that's not your own right you're like whoa what are these people doing right yeah the tunes and how you do the Macos and one of the fun things and one of the different Torah and what does it look like and the expectations of it all is very personalized and it embeds deep memories in people and it's really powerful and we have to keep insisting on it you know a theme I've written spoken about in the past is how commercialized we've made even Judaism by you now you go and I'm not mocking or judging people who need to take advantage of the ease of being able to buy pre-wrapped 10 pieces of bread to put out or people who purchase salt water in the store but I have vivid memories as a child of the assignments of preparing those things and putting them out I have vivid memories of The Chopping bowl and The Chopping thing that was used to make the harosas growing up you know Vivid memories people have about grinding mud or setting a table taking out and growing up you know where I grew up in New York area from the basement basements in Florida but schlepping up the pesach boxes and bringing down mohammed's boxes cleaning you know all of those things which people complain about but they embed they embed the memory and the emotional connection with the yantiff and they're what make it unique and distinct you know so people should persevere don't give in there's a lot of ease and a lot of comfort that's out there and I'm not saying we should make it intentionally more difficult for ourselves but some of the things that take a little bit more of the effort preparing the salt water and wrapping the 10 pieces of bread and putting them out or being thoughtful about how we'll mark the Esser Marcos those are the things The Impressions we're going to embed those memories that's what's going to create the emotional connection and that's what your children and grandchildren great-grandchildren please God are going to emulate that they saw and they grew up the effort that you're putting in so don't give up on it yeah uh Robin Lord sex that's all has a beautiful essay about the Russia and it comes with the work what does this work and he quotes a study about religion that that uh out of it was a study or or if he did this to talk to I think he also talked to students himself they found that for secular Jews of the three were gone past such as pesach was by far the one that was kept the most which is counterintuitive because pesos was the one that requires the most work and his point was religion is work and you only appreciate religion when you're putting more work into it so shibuous which is without special and hugging without a lot of preparation necessarily needed other than preparing meals so it doesn't mean as much it doesn't resonate as much versus a holiday that actually takes preparation and look how many Jews observe pesos compared to how you just observous and how many juices or circus and you could see that it he's obviously onto something absolutely and the thoughtfulness that we put in you know a theme I also try to emphasize and practice in our houses the kids come home with their gutters they're amazing they're remarkable our teachers are absolutely incredible but look at them on air of pesach and look through them at lunch on pesach don't bring them to the Seder table say your table is not a time it's very hard it's a bold suggestion and it's rarely listened to including my own home but you know the Saturday night is not a time to fight did everyone get their chance did everyone give equal amount of debate or did you read everything that you had in your hagguda did you say over every gamatria and vartlach and every lambdas and every anything you're trying to impress it's a time to keep it simple and to have conversations about what is freedom are we really free if you're addicted to your technology or you're addicted to Keeping Up With The Fad and the style or you're addicted to your Starbucks coffee or you're addicted to binge watching Netflix are we really free what is the definition of freedom physical Freedom emotional Freedom spiritual Freedom it's a time to talk about the connection between freedom and generosity when we we offer that disingenuous invitation anyone who's hungry come and eat and the doors are locked and the windows are closed because we're we're trying to explain what freedom is the ability to share the willingness to share what we have with others and freedom and dieno and gratitude and I'm not going to give a Shabbos to go to Russia right now but keep it simple and have these conversations what does it mean to be a people in a nation what is freedom from tyranny and oppression but what was the freedom too now we have a land of Israel and a state of Israel we're living in extraordinary and remarkable times and we've seen it on fire the last few weeks and we hope and pray it came to a head and we don't know the aftermath of what it means or what is Yet to Come what is all that in the context of pesach we weren't just free to be freed from tyranny it was freedom to be a people in our homeland living a life what does that look like how do you navigate that they just passed the law apparently in Israel it's illegal to bring hamids into hospitals is that good or bad right if you're a member of the Torah observant Community maybe you're happy or proud about that but is that what Israel should be should it have should it be legislating and enforcing coercing religion these are great conversations so that the Seder Knight is not just a place of information but it's a place of transformation I think it's really really important and all that takes prep if you don't put that thought in you don't come to the table having thought these questions or what you're going to how you're going to stimulate these conversations they'll never happen you'll just be passed out you'll be trying to referee fights between kids of who got to speak the most or fights between adults about who is favored which grandchildren got favored it takes effort and it takes it takes preparation in order to have a night of transformation try to prepare a family and a house or pays off with I mean maybe one or two things that you're being asked to do as a rub of a shul and a community that it may get a question or two is this the is this the busiest like week or two of the year for you it's definitely up there it's it's interesting it it's more than beautiful yeah so the fall right the build up to rationalism there's a lot that goes into that uh very different than this this is just it's it's overwhelming the influx of the pesach questions that it was it was amazing it was very slow last week and I gave my workshop last Sunday a week and a half ago trying to get it in early and then it was like eerily quiet and all of a sudden Sunday morning I woke up and so did the rest of the world that were basically arabes and you you feel the rhythm and the tempo of Jewish life because your phone blows up and as much as we have incredible resources now the CRC app the star k app the OU app and many others and and really Technology's made this much better and much easier for me and for others but there's still a huge influx of questions and selling hamets and trying to prepare at the same time and also not be absentee at home for the minimal contributions I make in trying to prepare there too so bouncing it all but it's it's all again it's part of the Rhythm I wouldn't change it I wouldn't trade it in I love it you know uh growing up I had Rabbi Ari Jacobson was the roof of my shoulder Muncie and he used to announce leading up to PESA the leader the closer to pesach you asked me is Shyla the more mocking I'm gonna be and he wasn't and it sounded like a joke because it is it's funny but he also meant it seriously he's like if you want me to find a reason that it's gonna that it's gonna be murderer if it's a complicated question I'm trying to find the reason that something that appears us or should be winter that takes time if you ask me that three weeks before it pays off maybe I'll have time you ask me the day before it pays up what else can I say except Aaron no question about it right like the person who texted me I don't I'm not saying their name and there's nothing humiliating about this question but only this year when they went through their spices that they have for pay stock did they realize the spices they used last year were not in fact Kosher for pesach they had noticed that a couple of the spices that they had purchased for whatever reason assumed that they were so now want to know we have no idea which dishes we use them with which pots and pans or all our pace of things done are they finished we need to cash them are they good which spices were they what brand what made them not code so you that's not a flip it that's not like buy milk before pesach that's not like a uh Costco water with minerals that's going for water with minerals right flip flop um the Costco water with minerals questions but yeah definitely it takes time I I will tell you that it is a opportunity for rabbis to exercise patience and Love of All Jews so no matter how many times that you might list publicly that you're available to Sal hamat the people who will text you hey when can I stop by and sell Clements or hey is there any time to sell or right or or no matter you gave a prepaid stock Workshop you made it available online you promoted it the shul sent out a list of the halachas you sent lists and links to apps that have everything that people say Hey how do you cash for the glass top stove again so it is an opportunity from instead of being resentful or becoming bitter and murderer it is an opportunity to love all Jews and be flexible and realize you're that same ludnik in other ways to other people and it's an opportunity to to grow as people and to be patient is for us all what's the craziest question or where is the question you've gotten it doesn't have to be this year based that question I remember also a monthly story Hawaii sometime robertinski when I was growing up I heard him say one year he said somebody asked me this year how to capture a remote control I said with a blowtorch um that's a good question a lot of them are repetitive standard questions right you know the price one that's noticing something that's that's that's one that's off that can be off um right that does come up also and each one is the different answer but people who used an ingredient could be a main or secondary ingredient advice where they realized only afterwards and then its impact and the and the domino effect of different utensils that would put in and did it undo everything that was done in that kitchen and so on and so forth but for the most part there are a lot of redundant same as much as we think our house is unique we all have the noodnik husband who put something in the sink even though we were in the 24 hours of not using it so we could capture it on time and did that restart the clock or not restart the clock and a lot of the same repetitive questions that come up over and over and over again tip from your Global campaign wonderful amazing guests you had that night which is if you get a question you're still trying to think the answer buy some time is saying I love that you asked that question what a brilliant question I love that question and then you buy yourself another three four seconds absolutely it gives you a little bit of time we've got our prepaid stock market if you're in Florida south Florida yes we have coming this coming Sunday and Monday it's close to pesach but there was no other way to do it because we offer fresh fruit fresh vegetables we all for grape juice matzah chicken fish we're putting out a lot of canned ingredients and it's pay what you can afford pay whatever you want so that everyone's invited nobody's embarrassed there's a box take what you want and on your way out pay you could pay the actual value you could pay what you can afford we don't want pay stuff to be prohibitively expensive for anyone we have generous donors who are helping us make it happen and anyone who wants to contribute to that please do we'll let you know how and but we're really really proud of that and excited about that and also lastly about pesach if you haven't yet listened to the latest episode of Out of the Shadows we just released the beginning of this week on OCD OCD holidays like pesach can be triggering and I don't use that word Lightly for people with OCD and we should be sensitive not to use the word OCD just because we're from last year yeah yeah just because replace cleaning does not make us OCD people with OCD really have OCD and Out of the Shadows is great conversation with real people who are navigating they share their experiences their story and their tips speak to an expert about it and if you haven't listened you can find online Out of the Shadows you can find that any podcast player and we're really excited but we are excited to bring on Daryl strawberry binyamin or Ben as I would refer to you in front of him you know that's actually funny because I also remember the last time I posted we spent some time discussing the evolution of Vinnie and Benjamin and now you're about to say were people going to see this you just call me Ben we're going back take us into that interview by giving us a little bio and introduction to the great New York Yankee and met Daryl strawberry anybody who grew up in New York in a certain period of time like we did does not need introduction to our strawberry but for those who don't know he was an outfielder uh a lefty with one of the purest swings you'll ever see a power hitter and a a just a tremendous play rookie here in 83 Rob the MVP in 1988 he should have been knocked her Gibson and the center said the centerpiece of the lineup that won the World Series for the Mets in 1986 uh they parted ways with him he went to the Dodgers the couple going through the Giants and then won some World Series with the Yankees George Steinberg had a fascination with 86 events he loved grabbing four radius if that's good and strawberry they played Sid Fernandez he loved getting 86 Mets but he won World Series with him and he was a I don't think a key player on the team but contributing player on that team and famously as much as he is famous for his own field accomplishments real real struggle with drugs with alcohol with uh with with off-field issues that really played him throughout his career and he's talked to him about that it was very open about them and we had some interesting conversations with him about what what that was like and and the challenges that he faced and how he would uh counsel young players that to avoid them nowadays but uh again thankfully he's really cleaned up his life and has like you said earlier and inspiration to a lot of people and it was it's I was like I said I have to send my childhood self a memo about this conversation like hey you just had a whole long conversation with Daryl strawberry like the Dallas do you remember how many home runs he hit in 86 uh I don't I don't remember I think he I don't think he ever hit 40. I think he hit in the mid 30s in 86 I think he hit 38 39 in 88th year he should have won MVP and uh his teammates that year I don't remember his betting average but uh he like he's he is it's it's it's it's sad because you're about to like you could dunk on me with all the Yankees but he is one of the three or four greatest Mets of all time but again that goes he was great but yeah in a sense there was unfortunately his all field issues kind of ruined what he could have been and I think you were glimpses in the 80s of what what looked like it was going to be a Hall of Fame career start to finish that didn't materialize he provided a lot of Great Moments and great memories but uh I'm excited for you because this week is opening day which means the Mets will be out of contention tomorrow at least at least at least you have this to hold on to so without any further Ado you know 100 games last year yeah we're excited to welcome the great baseball player down strawberry what a privilege how exciting it is to go behind the bema with the great Mr Daryl strawberry great New York Met also a great New York Yankee Mr strawberry thank you for agreeing to go behind the bema together well I appreciate it thank you guys for having me on this it's great to be with you and I'm looking forward to having a great conversation we have so much we want to talk to you about uh we're two big Baseball fans actually two brothers-in-law and we're Rivals we're both from the New York area I'm a die-hard lifelong Yankee fan he's a die-hard lifelong Met fan of course we know the Mets really claim you we can't really compete to the 1986 World Series World Championships the Yankees you got three 96 98 and 99 so we could talk baseball we want to talk about life we want to talk about your support of the Jewish people the Jewish community and of Israel all of which is really really important but maybe we could start with with life you know you succeeded in baseball your household name certainly when I was growing up and still that association with success in baseball but you've had to overcome um a lot of challenges in your life and you know sports fans and others we see the glory we see the Great Moments we see the Breakthrough the success we often don't see the fight and the battle that has to happen in the background could you share a little bit about that where do you get the strength and the faith how have you had the fortitude to fight those battles in your life to bring you where you are today well Rabbi that's a really good question you know when you think about it I I get the strength from my mother uh who was a very strong woman who was a very faithful woman and and her faith watching her growing up um I think just gave me the strength inside to be able to overcome things in life um I think coming from a home where it was a it wasn't a perfect home you know and my God everybody talks about the white picket fence there's nothing such thing as a white picket fence we left behind so there's going to be some trials and tribulations in in your life and it's about how do you endure those things and I learned that early because of the trials and tribulations in my home you know my father was uh not a warm welcome guy he was not a gentleman at all you know he was more like an alcoholic so he came home with a lot of issues all the time and he kind of basically took it out on the family and and we suffered we suffered a lot you know from those long nights and I just remember that last night when I was about 14 years old and he came home and he pulled out a shotgun he said he wanted to kill the whole family so wow see I think a lot of people don't ever see the scars in the wounds of a person I think they just see the success and and think you know you should be well because you play Major League Baseball but I'm here to tell you guys today Major League Baseball don't make you well it just makes you a baseball player it means you get to play at the highest level and and you get to show your talent and you get to be able to achieve all these great things and always talk about the fact that it was my pain of who I was that led me to my greatness and then yeah could you spell that out how did you had witnessing that and experiencing what you did from your father a lot of people could have gone a lot of different direction you channeled it into success into breakthrough how did you do that well because when you think about it and you hear the words of your father when he tells you you're never going to amount to anything and as a kid either you believe that or you don't believe that and I think I didn't believe that and I think I want to prove him wrong that I would turn out to be somebody and I think that's what my pain was really all about it led me to my pain my pain kind of drove me into playing sports and once I got into sports I always told myself I was going to be the best because my father didn't believe in me so I had to learn how to believe in myself and that was very challenging and but I think what happened was I had a lot of coaches in my life who came along in my life that played a role in my life as a father's figure and each coach kind of like part put something inside of me to make me believe in myself you know coaches are great you know you spend a lot of times with coaches then more than you do even at home with your family and everything because when you play sports you have a coach for basketball you have a coach football you have a coach for baseball so I had all these different coaches uh speaking into my life and encouraging me that I could so I started hearing that part of it that I could but still also at the same time I was still you know I'm still very effective you know inside of myself from from what had happened to me uh it doesn't take away you know putting on the uniform to play sports doesn't take away the Brokenness and and the pain that's a real reality that I had to experience and and and I kind of carried that with me for a very long time and that's where my pain would lead me to go on to be great but I always say the other part of me uh the destructive behavior is there too that part does not go away until you get healed on the inside so for a very long time I wasn't healed on the inside I mean I was excelling and playing baseball and achieving all these great things and high five hitting home runs and winning trophies and Rookie of the Year and all these other things All-Star games all these things were great but I also I used to take off the uniform I used to question myself all the time and asked who am I you know what's the purpose of my life it's just is it just baseball and for a long time that's what it was just baseball because that's what I had to hold on to that's what I had to be able to escape from the pain that I was in so the baseball the competitiveness the success was sort of masking the pain but it wasn't resolving the pain the pain was still happening inside which led to some of the behaviors and and the substance what what's different today what's different about the Daryl strawberry today who's able to express the pain or work through the pain or reconcile or live with the pain so you don't need to turn to those behaviors or those other outlets and you could have the success of Life maybe not only in baseball but now of being a a model for others a role model a coach in other people's life how do you do it differently today I I think it's just about growing you know and learning from the things that you go through I think when you learn that life is a journey and you're going to go through some highs and you're going to go through some lows and if you can balance that and you're not not run from it and be able to face that uh you'll be able to overcome those things but I think a lot of times what happens to people if they sit on the victim mentality they're going to be a victim I'm not a victim you know I I believe about being an overcomer just like I played ball when I needed to overcome and sometimes when you struggle in baseball how do you get back on track you get back on track by working on the fundamentals and you go back and you overcome that struggle it's the same thing in life I think you can use Sports as I do use Sports as the same as life you know there's going to be some hurdles that you have to get over and if you don't quit and you don't give up uh you will be able to get over those hurdles but if you if you give up you'll never know that the miracle about your life and where it could be and the things that you're capable of doing uh is far greater than the struggles that we have I think life I I'm very grateful as I sit here and talk to you guys I'm very grateful for the struggles because the struggles made me a man baseball didn't make me a man baseball made me a baseball player but the struggles in life made me a man made me realize what my mother was pointing inside of me when I was young even though I was watching and I wasn't there where she was at in faith but I learned through her faith that it was that that would take me and push me forward and Lead Me into my destiny that I am today I mean to be in a totally different place than I was many years ago after struggling for so long not with the baseball but struggling with life and life issues and struggling with addiction which is real uh and going through that I'm glad that I went through that and you know even going through cancer twice and losing my left kidney and my second surgery so so many different things that I had to face but being able to face those things head on and not running away and running towards those things to be able to deal with them brings me to the place that I am today that's incredible Ben so from my standpoint you know the rabbi is a Yankees fan so he could talk about the late 90s but I grew up as a Mets fan in the late 80s uh so what you meant to my childhood and the memories that you provided I can't even begin to say I'll just tell one story which is my first day of kindergarten I was at a new school and it's 1987. so you can imagine Mets fan I'm five years old in 1987 Daryl strawberry dot go to these guys are everything and the first day of kindergarten my mother introduced me to some kid in the class so he says hey you're a baseball fan you're a baseball fan why don't you be friends kid goes Mets fan or Yankees fan I said Mets fan he said I'm a Yankees fan me someone had a power hitter Dave Winfield's a power hitter I said Daryl strawberry is a power hitter so I spent my first day of kindergarten defending your honor oh my that's a good that's a really good story um if the kids said Met fans and he said they didn't have a power hitter back in this those days we had quite a few power hitters on the team yes but you're definitely my favorite one so uh but here's what I'm wondering thank you back to your baseball life because any Met fan even Yankee fans can can go through the highlights and go through the moments the clock Home Run the game seven home run this one that one I'm wondering what's a moment from your career that maybe we didn't see or we don't still think about but that you still think about something that shaped you something that you still remember as a meaningful moment that maybe didn't make the Highlight Reel or didn't make the box score something that you still think about years later well I think that was 1985 you know we had we were playing against the Cardinals in St Louis and we had to go in there and sweep them to be able to win the that division that year because remember the Eastern Division yep was a battle between us and the Cardinals and we're going to win that first game one to nothing I hit a ball off of Ken Daley a hanging breakup off the clock yeah and they hated us so much in St Louis and I just thought that was a great big moment for me uh against the Cardinals to be able to do that and just remember in that year I think a lot of people don't remember I I missed seven weeks because I had Dolan made a play and had a torn ligament in my thumb I missed seven weeks and to come back and finish up that season and still be in the race and we won 98 ball games that year I think a lot of people don't realize how good the 85 mess were before the 86 met came to um to the next year and winning the championship because we were really good in 85 and we just came very close of just showing the Cardinals that we were going to be in it and just thinking about that moment and that after losing the next day that serious and they go on the win I just remember how our clubhouse was our clubhouse was very quiet and it was just a moment of us being able to reflect on the fact that we wasn't going to let this happen to us again we were so good that year and we just came into spring training in the next year and we just knew that it was our year to get it done no matter what it was going to take we just believed that we had the team to do it and we were going to fight through everything to get that if who you are today could talk to who you were then as a player what would you tell the younger version of you what what did you not know then that you know now that if you could go back in time review and you do talk to young players today what's a message right you're a eight-time All-Star 335 home runs a thousand runs better than you're succeeding in every way maybe there was no one and nothing you'd listen to Because Why should you right you're you're having success but but what did you not know then that you wish you did that that if you could go back in time you would tell a younger version of you I would tell a younger version of me to slow down you know slow your pace at life uh because life is moving fast and it just seems like it's going to always continue to be that way and nothing's going to happen and that's not the case you know I I didn't know how to take it slow I everything was fast you know you're playing in New York you're young um you're talented you're excited about the fact you're on the winning team and I wish I could have like paid more attention to like Gary Carter and Mookie Wilson guys like that they were living the right way and what I mean by that it wasn't out at night there wasn't partying they wasn't chasing girls it wasn't in clubs they were at home you know they would drink milk you know they wasn't drinking all the alcohol and stuff like other players were doing so um realizing that those guys were living and they had faith and they lived a different way I was impressed with that I was really impressed with that and I was I wanted what they had but I just didn't have the guts to do what they were doing and I wish I would have been able to slow down and just slow stay in the moment and the time of what it was instead of thinking so far ahead because I think so many athletes we think so far ahead we think we're so great and nothing's never going to happen to me and then you end up making the wrong choices in the wrongs raw situations and you can pick your sins all day day long but you can't pick your consequences and I think a lot of times we don't think consequences are coming and they are and it's a real reality when they do come and you're going to have to be to face them and you're going to have to deal with them so if I can look back and look at that younger Daryl strawberry I'll say look kid you got a lot of talent but you need to slow down uh you were a 21 year old rookie now 40 years ago I'm curious seeing knowing that you're still around the game and still around the teams the players our teams are the league is the league are they handling things better now to put to train those young players to guide them to to help them slow down our team's doing to have things more in place now than they did back in the 80s yeah I think they do have more things in place now I think they're more careful about you know the players and the notoriety and what's out there you know I think the players are more careful about it too because you guys got to remember one thing is that we didn't have internet we didn't have social media we wasn't on Outlets like this where we can see each other you know they have everything at their fingertips now where everybody can see them and everybody can pull out a camera and video you wherever you're at and I think guys are more careful about that and they're more aware of their surroundings and where they're going and what they're doing to protect themselves because all it takes is one video out there and and that goes and everybody's everybody everybody's going to see it you know that I think you have to be aware of that for the younger players that are playing today because of the kind of success they're having and the kind of money they're making you know people always try trying to come against them and and they tried to point out their wrong doing and I think that's um something that the organization and I think some of the Major League Baseball makes a wear to these young guys today that the challenges are different and they real because if you get caught video and doing something you know it may cost you your career you know the Jewish tradition teaches there's nothing wrong with having you know weaknesses and challenges and struggles there's a verse in the Bible that the righteous person falls down seven times and gets back up uh you know the the the person who confronts their challenges and tries to tries to maneuver through them that's a hero that's a strong person who's Aza gibber who's a mighty person a person is able to conquer their impulse their Indulgence when I've had the privilege of being in the rooms in recovery I've had the privilege with congregants and our community awarding them a medallion on a milestone of sobriety and and I've heard people in the room describe themselves as inferior or failure broken and I say this is a room full of the most whole and complete people I've been in you know you go to the world where people are using cosmetic surgery or shopping at the mall or indulging in substances and trying to find happiness somewhere outside themselves they're broken and a room full of people who are honest and genuine and real and sharing and vulnerable and they surrender are the higher power and those principles that's the most religious righteous room that I've been in I draw such strength from the people in our community who are I really think heroically courageously going through recovery what's been your experience what are the what are the lessons you've drawn from those rooms and the role model that you are for others today does faith play a big role when you look back do you credit the higher power god with your success in baseball and and surrender to him today to be able to navigate life the way you do today so different than you did when you were younger yeah that's a great Point Dan you said it all about you know the rooms that people are recovery and what we have to experience in life and we have to experience life on life terms and we have to realize that you know I'm not a mistake I'll just make a bunch of mistakes and you know life is life is what it is but I have to learn to suit up and show up and I have to become responsible I think that's the word that we need to say that most of us do you know when we're out there and when we're in the midst of addiction and drinking we don't be responsible we we don't care about the response possibilities but there's a lot of responsibilities that come in our lives that we need to take care of and I think it's important for all of us to understand that and what we do is we fight we learn to live on life terms you know we learn to live a different way we don't want we don't look at other people and say well look at them you know because for the grace of God they go I we all been there so we understand that so we understand the meaning of being strong and having strength inside not only for ourself but for somebody else because I do know one thing that this part of it works if we do recover we which we do recover and you can go on to help somebody else because at the end of the day it's all really truly all about helping somebody else you know through your own valleys and and through your own Troubles of what you want whatever you want to call them to go back and say you know somebody else that's coming in that needs the help you know and it's always a need and I and I think when you understand that you have uh a great deal of respect you know for those people that understand that because they have been through a lot of things and they have seen a lot of things now you have gotten over on the other side it doesn't make me any better than anybody else I tell people all the time it's I'm not better than anybody else because of my faith and my face and what who I am and everything I I think it's just I made a better decision for myself and and I think everybody has that opportunity to be able to make a better decision for themselves because life is real you know in life is not all about where it's going to smell good all the way to the end I can tell you that's not gonna happen for none of us we're all gonna have to face some type of adversities and stuff and how do we deal with that do we cave into it or do we stand up to it and I've been one of those particular person that's always believed and stand Standing out because I know I wasn't a bad person I just had a serious illness I think that most people didn't recognize but I think we recognize today what the epidemic is in this country with so many young people that are losing their life and and not here to have a conversation like we are Rabbi you know we're here to have a conversation about real life and because because I'm overcoming and I didn't sit in the victim mentality and I think about all those young people that are dying today because they don't have the opportunity to live you know and and the message with the message of Hope is real I call it hope faith and love you know either way you want to call it I call it faith hope and love I'll put it in you you got to have faith and you bring hope to other people and you love other people in this life do you get recognized when you're in the rooms do people know who you are and is that a distraction to the work that you're trying to do or does that position you to be even more helpful because if the great dollar strawberry could be here then everybody can well yeah it was a lot of recognition you know for a long time I stayed away from it you know and I went back into a different area of starting to help the younger generation because I saw the problems that were occurring in the country and I saw so many young people I had two treatment centers down in Florida and all I saw was young white Suburban kids coming in and all addicted to opiates and heroin so I I just I had tremendous compassion for that I don't care about color because this is not about color this is about people this is about human beings you know and I think that's what we all have to give back to you know we have to understand you know we're all human beings and we all deserve to be well you know if I got well I just don't want to keep it for myself and say well this belongs to me it does not belong to me I was extended the grace God extended his grace to me that I don't deserve I always tell people what is Grace Grace is something you don't deserve and God gives it to you anyway you know and when you start when you ask you when you understand that then you understand how to go back and and help others and and make sure that they have the opportunity that you have I mean I'm I'm not in bondage you know I'm free I you know I live a totally different life I live a life of joy peace and happiness so what do you do with your joy peace and happiness you go back and you help somebody else amazing thank you were you concerned about your son going into sports because obviously the Sports World presented you unbelievable opportunities but also serious challenges and temptations and now like you said it's a different world it's a more challenging world with internet and social media did you have some reservations about your son going into basketball I did you know most of my boys played basketball and went to College D1 and you know I was I was happy about that and and I was in my daughter's day went to college and played volleyball I was happy about that but I was still always concerned about the fact that you know drinking is a part of a young age you know and and it's out there and young people think well nothing's ever going to happen to him just like I was so I always made sure they understood the fact that this can't happen to you it doesn't matter who you are how strong you are um it's real and you can end up in the same place I ended up in the midst of addiction alcoholism and it will take control of your life and I made sure that I explain that to my children because I wanted them to be aware of what I had been through in life and you know they could easily go down that that road so my hope for them was that they never went down the road and a lot of them never did have we had some struggles with our kids and with some type of addiction before yes we have you know but we love them through that process and encouraged them that you know we've been through it and you can get through it too it's a hard It's A Hard Road when you get on that road it's not an easy road to get off you know I I think a lot of people don't understand especially when you're young you know it's you think well you're just going to be strong and you're going to go on forever and nothing's going to really ever take place but the reality is it it will keep you stuck it will keep you from moving forward and always tell my kids that you will not be able to move forward if you go down into this dark Road of addiction it's not it's not a happy place it's not an easy place to get out of so I try to encourage them just as well as I try to encourage others we'll get back to baseball but I want to move over to the relationship that you have with the Jewish Community with the Jewish people where did that begin is that something that goes back far did you have connection with with um any Jewish kids when you were growing up in your neighborhood through baseball is it something which is more recent you've been vocal and outspoken and the Jewish people are are facing this big rise of anti-Semitism a lot of people saying really hateful things and discriminating against the Jewish people and we need friends we need allies we need to stand together historically the black community the Jewish Community always walked arm and arms stood together and and we need to go back there and we're so grateful I want to express our public appreciation for your standing with the Jewish Community where did that begin where does that come from what I discussed on the history of all my friends you got to remember I played in New York most of my career so all my friends my all my friends that are my friends today all Jewish and they all live in New York and I've been friends for over 30 35 years almost 40 years now and the relationships I have there are real uh they are people who have been in my life through my good times and my hard times and they have never turned it back on me most people in our society today if you have trouble they look down at you my Jewish friends never looked down at me that's why I am who I am with them that's why I speak loudly about them because a lot of people speak on hatred because they don't know the Jewish people they don't know the culture of the people they never been around them they just go by what they read or somebody else has said so I try to make a point of educating people about the Jewish people because they don't know about Israel and they don't understand it's the holy land they don't understand that they are the chosen people that will never go back you know I am Evangelical so we know that and we we understand that through our studies our biblical studies about you know the land and the Jewish culture and know that that God has made them the chosen people and they will be only the chosen people and then no other race will and I think everybody think they should be but they don't understand the principles it's already been written it's already been said and it is done and that's just the way it is so you know I had a chance to go to Israel in 2018 a place that I've always read about you know and always thought about and reading all about it and and and understanding and going there and seeing it for myself is just a great thing people ask me well what is what was your favorite thing about being in Israel I says well Shabbat you know every Everything stops you know on that Friday you know and and I thought that was PR I was really impressed with that because of the fact I said now what if in the United States can have a day like that too every day yes A Shabbat and stop and reflect now we don't reflect enough here you know we're so busy and on time time for this time for that but you know to be able to be in Israel and see that with my own eyes uh I was really impressed with that where the streets were empty and it was just a different feel and then you you go back later and then there's all the people again and I I was I was like I said I really enjoyed that I really enjoyed uh the holy land of being there and being a part of that that's fantastic Ben so I'm listening to that it's obviously you're uh at a much healthier place and a much healthier person than you were when you're playing but partly wonders do they go hand in hand meaning could you have been as successful and as great a player as you were if you weren't feeling completely Fearless Invincible I'm on top of the world if it's a weird question but I'm wondering if you were in the place that you are now emotionally mentally as you were when you were in your Prime as a player do you think you still would have had the same kind of career I don't I don't I don't think I would be the same person that I am today I think everything happens for a reason and I think everybody has to go on their own journey in life and for certain reasons and I think I went in went on my own Journey like I did for those reasons and to be the man that I am today I think that's I don't think I think if I'd have played baseball and had more success and got in the Hall of Fame I wouldn't be the person that I am today you know I I just truly believe that um because baseball and you know status and and stuff you know will keep you from your destiny I I just believe that in life I know a lot of other players who think different you know they would think their goal is it is to achieve all this I think I think God allowed me to achieve everything that I needed to achieve as a baseball player and to move into the next phase of my life and become who I have become because I don't think that part whatever took place I would have still been hanging on to uh I'm in the Hall of Fame you know the trophies and everything but I'm not I'm not hanging on to the uniform you know I'm not around baseball as much as most are you know that have played and and I think a lot of players uh played before players that are playing today have have a lot of envy and jealousy of the younger players and the success they have in the money they're making I don't I don't care at all about none of that stuff anymore because I know I was a part of that and I know that now I have a different life and I have a different Mission and you know when you have a different mission in like you know you don't you don't sit there and you don't dwell on the past and you say thankful you say thank you and I'm thankful for what the past was but I'm thankful what the past brought me and taught me and I can learn about myself to become a better man is there no part of you that thinks that thinks about that a lot or is kind of time thinking I wish things went the other way I wish I ended up in the Hall of Fame I wish I had all those trophies this is there no part of you that just wakes up one day and says I wish I had that other life no I mean no I I I I'm truly glad that's over you know I'm glad that part of me is over and I was able to experience that and I had fun let me tell you guys I had a great time playing Major League Baseball I was very successful at it I did a lot of great things and I take it you know and I take it and I put all of that and I use all that in my life today for the good to help somebody else it says no matter what you can achieve you can achieve if you're broken or not you can still achieve but at the same time I wanted to be well it wasn't the baseball part that I wanted to be well it was the person part that I wanted to be well and I think every person feels that way about this life you want to be well you want to you want to excel at doing something great in this life to leave an impact you know impact on on going back whatever it may be so a lot of a lot of people might not have to go back and and help somebody else but I love helping people and I think that's the greatest impact that I will ever have on my life and instead of hitting the Home Run I hit Grand Slams yeah I did all that and that was great impact too you know for the fans and everything and I'm glad that was a part of who I was but this other part of my life is so meaningful you know it means so much to me it means so much to me to to make a difference and help other people now and that's what's important about my Jewish friends you know when I hear people talk about the culture and talk about the you know the Jews are like that like they're nuts and I was like well you know you don't you don't understand they they have been chosen and for them to be chosen you need to be able to appreciate who they are and go to their land and see for yourself see I think people don't go to the land of Israel and they don't see for themselves and they don't see the way the people are there those people are together we're not together over here we're against each other we're pulling one way and the other way against each other and you see them live among each other and they're together and we need to learn something about that and we need to learn how to do that as a people here United States the stereotypes are terrible in any direction stereotypes that any race or culture Community have about others and and 100 everybody should listen to your words and go learn and go befriend and go when you create real relationships and you know real people you don't buy into silly stereotypes because you've seen it on a sitcom or read it in a book or a magazine and you've done just that and you're an example talk to us if you can I you know I I'm not I'm not gonna say I'm athletic but I grew up playing sports I still play sports I enjoy so when you see in the NBA a guy hits a three-pointer you say you know I've hit a three-pointer in my life and in tennis you could hit a great shot and in golf maybe you really connect with the drive or you chip a ball in so maybe I could connect I go to the batting cages every now and then and I can't even touch I can't put my bat on a ball going 60 miles an hour I'm low that 60 mile an hour ball goes right by me I have no shot how does a person come back from a night of drinking or night of partying a night out and then face a pitcher who could throw a hundred miles an hour could throw a 75 mile an hour curveball a change up or 100 mile an hour and what always amazes me about baseball and hitters like you is not only the hand-eye coordination and the skill to hit the fastball but the thinking to sit there and play this chess game right to to guess what is he going to throw next what's likely coming and how am I going to adjust how much going through a successful hitter someone like you how much of it is the athleticism the hand-eye coordination and how much of it is the baseball intelligence to be able to guess and figure out what's coming next be ready for it and adjust for it well I think the most important thing is is is is the eyes being able to see and I think that's the most important thing everybody says I and you could have great hands with if your eyes don't see the ball then you're not going to hit it and that was the biggest Focus I always had and I think the most uh important part of the game for yourself is knowing who you are you know I know who I am as a player I didn't go up there with to think about things I went up there knowing that I'm going to hit the baseball and if you don't know that then you're not going to hear that because the baseball is the most difficult thing to be able to hit and you like you said you're going into the cage and you you're thinking you're thinking can I hit it you have to know that you can hit it that's that's the key right there is being able to know it keeping your eyes on it your hands are your hands are followed that that'll take place but if you know that in your heart that you can't hit it then you will hit it but if you don't know that in your heart you will never hit it you'll be like I wish I can hit it but you know as a player I always knew that before I ever got in the Box you know I always I can win the ball game in the on Deck Circle because I watched the ball game and I wait and wait till I get in the box for my time and once once I got in that box all I knew for myself was I knew how to win this ball game because I knew one thing I'm gonna get two good pitches if I follow one of them off the next one I'm gonna hit so that that was my thought process I wasn't thinking any other way I wasn't thinking how great the picture was yeah I had some battles with different guys and the toughest pitch I had to face who I feared the most was Nolan Ryan when I first came in the league but eventually I got over that you know and I knew I had some battles with him that I I won some battles because I knew I could you know and he won some battles because he knew he could and that's just the way players think you know great players I think what we we don't think about what the other person is thinking I think about what I'm doing you know and I think that's what made me the kind of player to play at the highest level because I knew if I got in the Box in the situation and I needed to hit a home run I didn't try to hit a home run but I needed to hit one all I knew for that fact was I just need to hit the ball hard and everything else would take care itself and that's what I used to do I used to hit the ball hard to make everything take care itself yeah I think Daryl's setting me up for this because he wants me to mention that in the 86th National League Championship Series against Houston he had a game tying Homer against Nolan Ryan in game five yes I did I mean like I said I had some battles against Nolan Ryan and he got me uh on many times I'm surprised you didn't say a lefty because I was I was still young so I don't remember I wasn't versed in Lefty versus Lefty Lefty versus righty but I've heard the story of my father watching your iPad against Ken Daley and 85 saying lefties he's got lefties is gonna be a big problem for this guy lefties and then suddenly the ball's Hitting off the clock well Lefty lefties wasn't really my problems you know once I learned that and mastered how to hit them you know I think I started studying them and Hernandez was teaching me things about left-hand pitching and I started realizing them and baiting them into like challenging me inside and once they made the mistake they could forget about it I remember one year I hit 15 home runs against lefties and I I hit some I hit most of them the opposite field you know a lot of times because I started to learn hit the ball out of the way and use the whole field so I I never had a fear for lefties I mean I think early I did have trouble with him but I had to make adjustments everybody has to make adjustments and it's just like in life too you have to make adjustments in life you have to make adjustments in in playing sports if you don't make those adjustments you're not going to get to the next level and I think like I said before great players always get to the next level because ain't know what they can do and what they need to do are the young players that you're around more interested in asking your advice about baseball or asking about your life experiences and how you dealt with some challenges um you know the young players don't really talk about that I mean I hung out of spring training with them and you know of course they asked a few questions about how how was it getting to the next level how did you guys get to the next level of winning I said well we lost in 85. against the Cardinals we won 98 ball games and we lost a division we came back that next year and we just realized the spring training that nobody was gonna beat us anymore and nobody was going to beat up on us we was gonna take advantage of every every team of talent we have you have to know the talent that you have in your Clubhouse and you have to have a chemistry to play to win it doesn't matter because you have a good team on paper but if you don't have the chemistry and you don't believe in the talent together on your team you're not gonna win you can win a lot of games but you're not going to win those big games because big games come when when the playoffs come from knowing during the regular season how good we were how many adversities we had to go through how many challenges we went through when we were down we always knew we could come back that's what 86 was all about you know we we were down in games during the regular season we always came back and won them we got down in the playoffs we realized that we can come back and win we got down in the serious World Series we realized that we can come back and win if you can't realize that you can come back and win and you can't beat their best pitchers because in the playoffs we realized I realized one thing and I think a lot of young players will understand you can have a great season all you want but when you get into the playoffs you're gonna face the number one number two and maybe the number three starter you're not gonna be facing four and five you're not gonna be facing slop coming out of the bullpen you're gonna face the best and you're gonna have to learn how to beat the best you you played with the Dodgers and Giants but you won with the Yankees and the Mets there's no bigger platform in sports than playing in New York how would you compare playing with the Mets and with the Yankees how would you compare winning with the Mets and the Yankees the atmosphere different the celebration different you know there's notorious Met fans hate Yankee fans and and Yankee fans we don't we don't even think the Met fans are even worth hating That's how little we think so having played for both did you feel at any point that you were like a traitor that you were changing teams or sites how could you put on the other uniform how would you compare playing for both and winning for both well I would compare winning in New York City is everything uh you know the fans are Die Hard fans and they have such great knowledge about the game so that that's the most important thing when you play in New York and I think a lot of players come in and play and it goes well I can't play here because it's too much pressure because they boo you know bullying is part of it you know they they I love the fact that they let you know when you suck that's just the way it is and sometimes you need that to keep pushing you forward so when you play and and two different organizations you want to message the Mets are are a new organization now because of new ownership uh they will be different moving forward they will be sort of like what the Yankees were when George was there and he was the boss because he wanted to win and I think Steve wants to win and his wife they want to win they want to bring excitement to Queen so I think you'll see a lot of that uh pushing pushing the button it's to win um the Yankees are uh just an Enterprise you know they're Enterprise with the history uh tradition players and and they have it they they've done it you know they did it right George did it right his years of uh owning the team um he made sure that every professional team would know that the New York Yankees are winners so when you build that and you have that Legacy like that and you have such great players that they've had in history um they stand above everybody else they they always will until people play catch-up with them and it'd be a long time to play catch up with them but I I think the New York Mets are headed for something new you know something new and it's exciting it's exciting because uh I played eight years here as exciting the fans were exciting because you got to remember in the 80s the Yankees didn't own the town the Mets on on the town in the 80s we ran the papers we ran the headlines and your Yankees have some good teams over there but they were never talked about because it was always about the Mets on that side so now it's all it's been all about Yankees and the Metro been you know the team over there in Queens but you know they look like they're starting to knock the door down a little bit you know they're making some noise to push through the door and hopefully they will continue to do that uh hopefully it'll just go that way for each team in New York because I love I love New York City I love the Yankee fans I love the Met fans they they're also fans you know they they want to win and where else would you want to play that I mean you want to go to a ballpark where they don't care if you don't win you know I don't want play I don't want to plan places like that so I was blessed to be able to play in the Bronx and in Queens did you hesitate to put on that Yankee uniform was was it hard not at all I mean I mean because when you look at George and who he was and what he cared about George cared about people more than most people could ever imagine the rest of the rest of the media wanted to talk about people but George cared about people he had a heart for people and that's what a good owner is and I think Steve is the same way the new owner for uh for the uh for the match I think he has the same kind of makeup that George had had when he was the owner of the Yankees he he likes people he wants people he cares about people he cares about the history of the match he's bringing the match former players back into the whole thing you know of the organization to be front and center which excuse me which didn't happen for a very long time because a lot of players wouldn't come back by the way Rabbi I know you are a sensitive person and are moved by stories of Sensitivity I remember watching and hating those late 90s Yankee teams especially they're winning with some of my my former bets but I remember one of the playoff series they won or maybe more than one those Yankees teams celebrated in the locker room with non-alcoholic champagne out of respect for Daryl and knowing that he was going through recovery and didn't want to trigger him or do anything and that was like I don't like giving the Yankees credit but they get a lot of credit for that yeah that was a Class Act by the whole organization and I really appreciated that so as this is opening week maybe we'll end with this question thank you so much for your time it's really been a lot of fun and a lot of learning really a lot of insight and inspiration as we're an opening week Major League Baseball does Mr Dow strawberry have any predictions uh not between the Yankees and the Mets who will finish higher and better overall what are we going to see this season I think you'll see a lot of good baseball um I think your stars you'll still see some of the lower teams not there yet because he can't compete you know with the upper teams who go out and spend the money on players to get players to come in and play for them and I think it's gonna be a good year I think it's gonna be a good year for the New York teams I think L.A and San Diego those teams out west are going to be in it they're gonna have a lot to say about it um and some of the other teams I think are they gonna probably surprised a lot of teams you know you you probably thinking uh teams that you don't think about you know I don't know I don't know where the angels are I know I know they have a struggle of playing and winning you know but you know Texas look like they've improved themselves with some players over there and you never know what they can they're going to turn out to be like in the west out there so you know it should be a fun year for baseball it's a long year um and I think everybody needs to you know just kind of hold their breath and realize that you know it's not going to happen overnight we're going to go through some valleys and we're gonna go through some you know some situations where we don't play well but we just got to keep fighting through it and so it should be a fun year of baseball Mr Donald strawberry thank you for your time thank you for standing with the Jewish people and standing up and fighting for Israel and thank you for sharing the inspiration of your life today with so many others for all of us who know your name from our childhood for hitting those home runs to now know your name for hitting the Home Run of life which is helping others it's it's a greater success you're a world champion you're a life champion thank you so much for spending some time with us thank you so much Rabbi thank you guys for having me and go Israel my favorite place that was a fantastic conversation and so grateful we had the opportunity to have it what's your takeaway Benjamin what Ben what jumped out at you besides you calling me that much what's up I mean it's it's I was thinking about one of those questions asking towards the end would he trade it all like I wonder if you tell him you could have that full career where you're the Hall of Famer and one of these Legends with all these trophies but it comes at that cost he was pretty clear and I I believe when he says it when he says he doesn't live with regrets and I think to my own takeaway is everybody goes through life with a certain amount of uh I guess hindsight looking back I wish I did this differently I should do that differently and to be able to be so comfortable in your own skin and saying like Okay I made mistakes yeah I did things that uh that had I done them differently maybe my life would have been better or different but to not focus on that and to just move on and say okay but that got me here and for whatever reason uh these things are part of my past I don't ignore them but also don't let that get me down to me that that spoke to me a lot even though I was never a superstar baseball player but that that message that takeaway of you can't focus on that and just look forward and and be grateful that whatever obstacles you've had in the past even if you think they were bad for you and they maybe they were but they also are part of who you are today because of that and because of your ability to overcome them I was proud when he described his Jewish friends as having stuck with him through thick and thin and part of his loyalty to the Jewish people today is because of how much he felt that his Jewish friends really stuck with him which which should be very informative to all of us that you know in this fight against anti-Semitism so much of it's personal when people have positive experiences with Jews they feel very connected they don't believe in stereotypes and they say I don't know what you're talking about that's not my experience and God forbid when they have the opposite they also then buy into and promote and share those stereotypes and he's such a friend of the Jew now and an advocate of the Jewish people and of Israel because he says my Jewish friends were good to me stuck with me we're loyal stood by my side and I was I was proud of that I also was moved when he talked about when he was succeeding in baseball he said I was a good baseball player but I wasn't a whole person I was empty inside and that's why he was filling it with these other things so again sometimes we look and we say oh that person is Fame they have Fortune they have success they have notoriety they have it all I'm so jealous those people might have all those other things but at their core inside they're empty there's a hole in their heart that they haven't really dealt with that pain and they're trying to suppress it or deny it or numb it that's actually the theme of our Shabbos Russia this coming week and I loved how we I loved how we admitted that and he says you know now at this stage of his life he's actually addressing that pain of his childhood and he's filling that vacuum in that void with meaning not thinking he could run away from it or fill it with drugs alcohol or partying you know that's like a cliche it's a cliche because there's truth to it but that it's like a thing on Twitter and places like the classic Mississippi do you think LeBron James is really happy you think Daryl strawberry is really happy you think Elon Musk is really happy but like that's it's a classic but there's truth to that because like you how many people are like Donald Trump that tell these stories about their playing days and now when everybody assumed they were on top of the world but they uh others part of it going on yeah that's that's this week too right that is this week that's coming up very soon which is why we're gonna wrap it up soon yeah so actually I'm actually curious about this um walk us through what it's like preparing I've been here now God thank God 10 years and I think I've seen a little bit of an evolution where I I think I could be totally wrong with this but I think like over the last few years five six maybe seven years it's been more of like almost as existential type of questions and issues and real like deep seated issues I remember first year uh the first year I was here Shabbat is a critical topic and you still talk about Chavez turning Fridays but I feel like over time it's gotten each year twice a year Shabbos girl there are these like really complicated complex issues which I I look forward to so much hearing them because they're life-changing each time so walk us through like what it's like for parents people like that do you think the topic first the sources first what how do you get there because I'm sure I'm not the only one who's wondering I'll briefly walk you through that um that evolution is real and it it comes from several places one is I have the great privilege and pleasure and blessing and challenge of speaking to an enormously diverse audience so sitting there is Russia are people who can learn me under the table who who I am a known and nothing compared to and novices who may have driven um in fact onshabba shuvai will tell you that afterwards two people who are not observant who I know live in Palm Beach I've worked with professor especially came over to say thank you and I was like what you were here I didn't know that and they said yeah during Corona we discovered and listened online and when we saw you weren't doing it online we came and we could talk about the halachic basis of that or not would you would you say yeah so so there's an enormous diversity we get a we have a large segment of the community who come it's a real communal learning opportunity but how do you pick a topic that can resonate in land for everyone so the classic shop is like Russia which is and at the end you know you step in a little Musser a little message that that wouldn't work and I'll be honest I'm not sure it works for me right these are two major communal sort of State of the Union Gathering meta issue what do we want to tackle what do we want to think about how do we want to change and of course incorporate almost all Torah sources and lambdas and halacha by contributing towards a bigger theme developing a bigger idea the hardest part is coming up on the topic and the topic is just what resonates what I'm thinking about what I'm working on so it's it's you know for me it's extreme ownership and responsibility or it's uh seder an organization or it's in this case pain living with pain murder I really I wasn't sure where to go and what to speak about um definitely I'm not addressing why bad things happen to good people I don't feel adequate now or ever and it's not the time to talk about and deal with it but certainly that's not the topic but the notion of murder and everybody asks us why is their mother or it's a night of Celebration okay and if tomorrow is only in the history it's out of order why Pastor matzo murder it should be Mars clearly out of order so what's the role of murder and I'm going to develop the idea in just a little spoiler alert but I'd like to and we're going to trace the halacha horseradish lettuce which one's preferable what measure where these Customs come from how do they evolve and develop well we'll get through we'll get through a little longer what do you do if you find more delicious what do you do if you find more delicious we've got some London start with us so you start with idea I know I want to speak about pain and Moro yeah so it's an interesting thing about Torah and it's interesting thing about life your insights come from your real life experience and where you are and what you're thinking about right then so I was thinking maror more at the table and I and you know kept pissed off a few years so I have a lot of ideas about murder I've heard from others and we'll mention them but where I want to come to I'd never thought about before this year which is you look around at so many mental health challenges you look around at so much addiction right relevant to tonight's guest as well and in the in the in the addiction World they'll tell you that people who are suppressing pain people who are numbing themselves to pain people who are trying to escape and avoid pain end up turning to addiction and often end up living and creating mental health challenges and there is a merit to the ability to lean in and experience and Embrace pain and that's where I'm going to come is the role of Moro is the tyranny of comfort when everything has to be comfortable that's tyranny and when you say I'm I'm free to experience pain the freedom that life isn't perfect and Things Are painful and I'm free to not Escape or avoid or suppress or numb myself but I'm experiencing pain right now and that's a huge part of our tradition too right there's Avail us to a certain extent is that tradition it doesn't say well everything's from Hashem and it's good and just accept it no sit and cry and grieve and mourn and comfort because lean into that pain and that's I think a role of murder and we'll talk about therefore the role of pain and how do we navigate pain and how do we not become consumed by that pain it can't inform everything about our lives because if we're if we're overwhelmed by pain then you can't function so I mean I'm not there yet so it's only you know Wednesday night but we'll we'll get there hopefully in time yeah uh I'm assuming since you've been a public over 20 years you've talked about the people who suffer that rare condition where they can't even experience physical pain and how dangerous that is even though it sounds amazing the health benefits and the health necessity of pain yeah absolutely there's a neuropathy where you can't feel pain and things are dangerous you could be bleeding internally you could have a huge cut injury to your leg yeah you don't even know it so pain is an indicator that something's wrong and it's a healthy response it's not a welcome or wanted response but it's a it's a healthy response absolutely looking forward to looking forward to hearing it yeah and I'm really down to only preparing Source books for these major talks when I was a young Rabbi it was all about cutting and pasting back when I was a young Rabbi it was literally cutting and pasting um today with technology it's much easier to prepare that but I'm down and the reason I do it is not to blow anyone in one of your press or everyone I know it's funny that the public perception of Me versus you know me very well I think offline Who I Really Am people think I post these Source sheets because I'm competing or trying to I don't even know why they think I do it comes from ego it really comes from the source sheets are not just Hebrew classic sources I try to sprinkle In Articles you often help me find them but articles and insights and surveys and research and and try to somewhat cover a topic in a way that so we put it out before pay stock we leave it out overpay stock and we leave it out after pesach read through it think about it have conversations about it these are meta issues that hopefully can can really impact in a bigger way and that's why the work goes in for the booklets for this not so much for the sheer itself I would I wouldn't care if you don't nobody looks at the booklet during the year but it's for before and after to continue the research on the conversation going yeah in a way it's a shame that uh these aren't online anymore accessible to the broader world but there's nothing like being in that room in that moment and being part of that that audience that gets the experience it in person it's a special it's a special moment it's a special Joshua so I'm excited for it that was a big decision and that was a big decision that we made I think we talked about it I'm behind the Beamer when I made it I was I was very very much on one side here because it's it's it it also is a reminder your core Community is your local community yeah the top priority and there's this you know just like if you're a public family involved in public life but you have certain experiences that are private so as much as we have a global community and we're grateful to the global Community recently they've been so generous that this is part of that connection that we share together offline as well so Benjamin it's been a pleasure having you as a guest host tonight thank you for all that you do on a regular basis oh are we not talking about us we're going to talk about us what are you using nah we'll leave that for next year which I got us man I just I just want to do the most basic Flex because everybody's getting this this year I started looking at it fantastic you haven't already shared a piece about the husband's obligations uh for ravela a great story uh let you tell it another time but uh excited it's amazing how that one text has so has just endless endless you get there's how many it's like 50. every year I think there's more commentary than any other it's really amazing really really amazing thank you for joining tonight again big thank you to the Minsky's for sponsoring your memory of our grandparents in law the Nash the real Panama tours the real panamatours.com check them out if you plan on going to Panama want to wish everyone because next Wednesday night we will be having nights of transformation not just information we'll be sitting around the Seder table so you will be the host of your own behind the Seder table so until after pesach wishing everyone stay happy stay health