Rabbi Dr. Akiva Tatz on "Why inspiration doesn't last" - Post - Olami Summit 2017 online speakers

so I was asked to let me to speak about the problem of maintaining inspiration in other words why we get inspired but it doesn't last that's a central problem and of course the relevance immediate relevance to us is those of us who are on the weekend the summit obviously that's a high experience in fact my ears are still ringing from that experience and the problem is that it's hard to maintain inspiration I actually wrote a book about this that's called living inspired and it's available in a few languages those of you are interested you can you can look at a copy of that if you can't get a copy email me I can download you some of the material that is a central problem of our lives in general we tend to get inspired we get uplifted we get keen get excited and then it's difficult to maintain inspiration so let me speak for a while about the nature of that problem and I think understanding it thoroughly is the obvious tool to solving the problem and dealing with so as we always do in Turin very common tower technique is that in order to answer a question we make it as difficult as possible if you enlarge a question enough you can actually get to a point where it also becomes becomes clear so let's do that let me let me try to expand this question try to show how universal it is and hopefully that will give us an avenue to to dealing with it the pattern of life the pattern of all life is in fact two stages all life fits into two stages and I'll try to give as many examples as I can so that you see Universal nature of this issue but the way the world is designed is that there are two stages these two stages are first of all inspiration which is a free experience very exciting very uplifting does not require any work by definition and it's followed by a letter by a stage which is difficult and disappointing and as painful as the excitement was exciting that's the nature of life the downside of all this the downside that is bondage the pain is that inspiration will be followed by a letdown the good side the reason for this is because the inspiration is there only to give you what you need to charge the batteries so that you can have what you need to continue and do the work yourself after all well is not built to give us a free ride at the point of being in the world is to develop as you know I'm sure there are mul says that the point of life is to earn a share in the world to come it is to earn reward in fact our sense of reward is only the work that you have done to earn it and therefore you need to move through the difficulty of life's experience in order to earn the reality that follows of course in order to do that work you need to be instructed you need to be inspired before you can run that battery you need to charge it and so life consists of two stages stage 1 the stage of excitement inspiration charging the battery it's easy it's done for you it's passive it's unbelievably inspiring but it does not last stage 2 when that light is taken away and you have to grow up in the darkness to try to shine some of your own light for those of you have a bit of a mystical interest I would put it like this if you look in the Tsar or more specifically in the H claim which is the classic mystical work written by the ariza or at least a record of his teaching the book begins by pointing out that the way the world was created originally was a retraction of a light again without getting technical hear about the Kabbalistic story the world began with a infinite white light right recall that there in safe that is the dimension of infinite perfection and in that infinite white light a dark space opened without going into the all the details that's called the symptom in other words a retraction of the light and a very very powerful darkness which is aching making lee painful it is an inexpressible longing for the light that was there once before that is a very sad and difficult situation how the longing for the light brings the light back a second time the second time the light comes in is nothing compared to the first infinitesimally small almost nothing but it is the light that's meant to be and it's the one that lasts the advantage of the first light is its infinitely powerful the disadvantage of the first light does not last it's only there temporarily and then goes leaving Penn the second light a disadvantage of the second light is that it's very small the advantage of the second light is that it remains forever wherever you look at Judaism you'll see this the giving of the Torah the first time was an infinite light in the desert Jewish people were lifted to a level way beyond free will but at Brooke did not lost right the temple that had led to the the Mischka and the sanctuary in the desert were the Torah entering Israel unbelievable face of miracles destroyed destroyed the second light when the temple ignites that light again is called Hanukkah and that tiny light of Hanukkah remains until the end of history shining as a small light from a Jewish window in the window Jewish lights shining from a Jewish window out into the darkness of winter is infinitesimally less than the original light of cyanide but it's the one that remains but what's the advantage of the second lights the one that we did ourselves the first one is divinely given all the Jewish people had to do was experience it the second light of Chanukah is the one that they have to do themselves so that's the pattern of history let's take a few examples and see if we can feel this how pervasive this idea is and hopefully by the time we finished talking about this you'll see that is nothing else in the world besides this idea everything you will ever leakes ever experienced all relationships friendships or the marriage experiences everything you will ever experience in all of life will fit into these two stages let's take a personal example and then we'll take a national example take a personal example the Morrises the Talmud says that a child in the womb is taught the whole Torah so the month the mother becomes pregnant and as the child is developing in the womb the mother's taught the whole Torah the baby's taught the whole Torah this fetus in his mother's womb because the like little baby said in fact the Cabalists explained that's the place where Fillie no one it's the place where the baby's head is open you know when the child is born is a space in the bone of the skull that's called a fontanel there is an open place where there's no obstruction to the higher world the child is born knowing everything as he's taught the nine months in the womb he's taught the whole tour he sees from one end of the world to the other he knows his destiny he knows his future he knows what he must achieve in the world he has all cosmic wisdom at his disposal at the point of birth he receives a blow very powerful blow and he's shocked into forgetting everything that he knew as it happens the blow is a blow on the mouth that means discussion I leave you to think about that yourself what is the meaning of a blow in the mouth surely you should be given a blow in the head but be that as it may he's given a sharp blow and the angel teaches in the whole Torah he's given a shocking blow causes him to forget and he's born as a baby in the world who knows nothing the obvious question is why would God teach a child the whole Torah why does it get an angel to teach the child the whole tour only to I can forget what's the point in that an answer is that of course in one sense you forget but in another sense that wisdom is driven deep into your subconscious and every human being has an inner sense an innate sense of morality and purpose and conscience it is there from what was taught to you before you were born and this is the reason that when you learn something spiritually true in the world you do not have a sense of learning you have a sense of recognition you say that's true I know that's right somebody teaches you something that you weren't aware of before that resonates with you and you say correct that's right the question is how do you know it's right the answer is because it's already resonating with him and what you learn simply reawakens what was there before a good teacher does not put information in a good teacher draws it out if you want to teach a student to understand something deeply you don't lecture about it till you put them to sleep what you do is you you evoke it from the student you set up a challenge so that the student develops it himself but if you're teaching a mathematical proposition to someone and you write it up on the board and you say it now guarantee they'll understand it but if you challenge them give them the elements that they need and they suddenly get it they say I've got it and understand and the reason they've done that is because the original potential was within and so and so all that you need is locked with him phase one the fetus is taught everything absolutely free inspiring perfect nothing can go wrong face to a cruel blow a shocking realization that you've lost it all a longing in as you go through life for spiritual wisdom and then it happens only if you make it yours through hard work a lifetime of recapturing the wisdom that's your own truism truly in line with your own whims your own essence not the culture around you or the fashion of the times but the genuine inner innate wisdom but that you had as a human being and as a Jew as a man as a woman all of that is to be unlocked within as you go through life and you develop it through your own work all you're doing is uncovering what was there once before and all a good teacher is doing he's helping you uncover the locked in wisdom that was there once before what's the result results is you get two phase three phase three is a world to come in which the to harmonize perfectly the free gift that was given to you when you began the blow the cruel moment was taken away the second stage when you recaptured it yourself and made it yours and the third stage with a harmony of the inspiration you were given before having been realized through your own work our coming together I couldn't put this mall more powerfully than the way the Ghana Vilnius says it he says that there's a mattress that says that when you die three angels come to greet you as a person moves down the channel from this world to the next three angels greet you one comes to count up all your mitzvahs all your positive acts in the world one comes to count up all your Vera's all your negative of the damage you've done in the world and the third one comes to see a global assessment of who you are hey hunter oh say where's your Torah the image flame of the other is it complete in your hand if you're a man it refers essentially more essentially to your Torah learning if you're a woman it relates more essentially to your Torah action in the world will be called for assessing the difference that you made in the world the female talent for giving birth and bringing reality about in the world but whichever it is you assess that third engine comes to see what you have achieved in the world and the goal no Villa says something very very amazing he says as you move down that pathway and these three angels come to greet you the third one who comes to assess who you are as he approaches you recognize his face it turns out to be the angel who taught you Torah before you were born and now at the end of your life has come to see did you make it real did you bring it out did you did you manifest it in the world did you polish it up and recapture the Torah that I gave you for free when we had amazing study session together before you were born that's the pattern of life stage one it's given to you you absorb passively Sage - no one's there to help you if they do it yourself stage 3 you have recaptured what you were given once for free heard the music once and now you've learned to play it yourself but playing note after note inspired by the music running in your head that was given to you once for free and that's the pattern when the father chooses turns teaches his child to walk he lifts up the little baby by the hands he's holding the child by the hands a little child standing on his feet for the first time and he perfect an exhilarating moment he's standing he's walking and not only that he cannot fall he cannot fall because his father's holding his ends unbelievably perfect moment and as he feels the thrill of that achievement suddenly and unexpectedly his father lets go and the child stands there terrified and alone and abandoned by the one who put him in this situation but that's when he learns to walk that when he's not then where he's not being held having been shown what it means he has to figure it out on his own with all the danger and all the risk that's involved and only when he's taken that first frightened step on his own can he run to his father's arms and realized that when his father let go he was showing him more love than when he held his hands so that's the pattern of life it's done for you it's free cannot go wrong and then suddenly you're abandoned you're alone in the world all the gifts that you were given before it was all free and perfect is all gone and now it's up to you and only then can you run into your father's arms and realize that when he abandoned you was only for the sake of developing your own maturity you can take her you actually take this on another level not only is the child taught the whole Torah before birth but childhood is like that as well when a child is born in the world he also has two stages childhood and adulthood childhood is a free gift right the child everything's done for the child by the parents a child sees the world in larger-than-life terms a child has no sense of limitation you ask a five-year-old what he's gonna do when he's big he'll tell you everything there's no problem it's going to marry everyone do every profession work at every job it's gonna be an astronaut and a soldier and it's going to be everything a child is a phase one creature but he sees only the infinite potential and then as life closes in on him and his longing of five years old but he's 15 and 25 min 35 and 45 and we'll the world closes him and time becomes short and he hasn't achieved any of the things that he wanted becomes very very lonely very constrained and constricted world but that's the world in which you achieve you need both you need the inspiration of youth you need to feel the excitement of being a child and being a teenager we thought you do it all and and actualize all the potential in the world and then you realize that stage 2 is a very small proportion of the potential that can be actualized but it's the right one and the real one that it becomes yours right I think if you think about this carefully you realize there phase one is classic email and phase two is classically female maleness is infinite potential right we know that the body in the conception of a child the male denied seed by the billion the woman gives only one egg right I'll never figure having to study this and see it in this section of a human fetus see it under the microscope that's an unbelievable thing to see the same primordial tissue in male and female if the male becomes production of eggs or seed by the billion by the billion and the woman one egg at a time is contributed only the male is infinite potential not very exciting amazing no but there's no pain no staying power no tenacious attachment to the task that's all it is the woman his long drawn out work of pregnancy and all she does is bring one reality into the world the male's advantages in infinite energy the male's disadvantages only potential and the females advantages she brings life to the females disadvantage only this one those are the two polarities right maleness is a childlike face it is the world of potential men men are multi potential in total awe a man can marry many women because he's a multi potential source King Solomon married a thousand but a woman is not like that the female quantity in the world the female essence in the world is bringing down the potential to what the world can hold the world cannot hold infinite potential but potential can be infinite but the reality in the world has to be practical and finite if someone says to you quote a number and I'll give you that much money whoa your mind starts racing you think a number of the number of the number it's amazing whoa that's male why are you feeling the excitement of your potential to say any number you like very amazing but you have no money yet and there comes a mood when you have to say a number when you say that number two things happen one you get the money - not one cent more for something to live in the world it has to be specified for something to be born in a finite world it has to have finite dimensions and those are the two polarities as are the two polarities when you go to na lemme summit you're a very inspiring time you meet people from across the world you see the potential you see the unbelievable generosity power of generosity creativity philanthropic creativity unbelievable thing then you go back to your home country you are your daily mundane grind of life with all the pressures around you and you can start to feel helpless but you're not walking through the desert of life's experience but this is where you get real this is where you make a project happen this is where you build yourself this is where you make the real decisions of course you need the inspiration of seeing what's possible and seeing an international movement that can be built and seeing how we can rejuvenate the Jewish people and stop assimilation you need to see that need to see the potential but it doesn't happen there it happens in the in the cold lonely moments of personal sacrifice and personal work that you do later let's take a national example that don't want to keep you too late let's take a national example how the Jewish people formed not a personal example of a child or a fetus becoming an adult let's look at the Jewish nation they be in Egypt in the place of miracles right where God does it all lifted to the 50th level of spiritual wisdom well forty ninth level unbelievable I plague off the peg in a crescendo of spiritual demonstration just like the fetus being taught what the spiritual world is all about and then they're leaving Egypt and they have to walk through the desert and walking through a desert means walking through the Death Zone right it does it means a place of no life or no water and that's where the trouble begins Egypt pisaq means to leap over the word Pesach means to leap you convict to the fiftieth level no limitations whenever you want on the first night of Pesach but then you have to start counting the days then from the second day you start counting one after another after another cannot leave one out you leave out one step of a journey you do not reach your destination and only after those two phases the face of incredible inspiration and then the phase of abandonment and test and torment in the desert can you reach Sun on and that's why sauna is the harmony between the two you know the month of leaving Egypt is nism right Misun means the miraculous the zodiac of the month the Mosel of the month is the Sheep that's a passive animal that only follows light there's no strength of its own it just goes where the leader follows the next month in the desert is the month of year that's the month of the boom Taurus the Ox doesn't follow at all that's independent individual has its own strength complete opposite characteristic the third month he's seven deaths Gemini not to him in perfect harmony between the two the two tablets of law the two Lucas Moshe and Aaron the Jewish people owner Shem they're written in the oral law all of the dualities coming together that manifest at that stage of the journey so you see on a national level on a private level life is always consisting of those two stages history consists of two stages there's the first stage of history until 2300 years ago when God appears up early in the world but there was no atheism at all miracles prophesy the spiritual world was completely revealed we call that doom upon him and then we move into the world of haste upon him where we see nothing right after after between Flanigan pour him first pour him then Chanukah the lights fade and after Chanukah we see nothing no revealed miracles at all no breaking of a law of nature prophets haven't spoken for 2,000 years no prophets walking the earth and no revealed miracles occurring no wonder it's an atheistic age right we are on our own in the disc we have a story where of Torah we have incredible evidence unbelievably good evidence but we don't we do not have proof we do not see anything openly we are walking through the desert right in the female experience of a pregnancy that must bring birth to the world that is the second stage of existence right the Ramban cause at mid Baja I'm in the desert of the nations so stage one stage of perfection unbelievable taken out of slavery in a blaze of miracles passively done for us and then God says to us now you do to yourself and he lets go our hands and we have to walk through the desert counting the days one after another coping with all the ordeals of the desert to reach sana which we then deserve and wherever you look at life you'll see the same thing relationships are like that marriages are like that marriage begins with the face of romance which is a chemistry which is indescribably pleasurable but not earned not worked for given as a free gift but that doesn't lost that doesn't lost a marriage becomes a love if it's worked on correctly when you walk through the desert of relationship and it consists of giving and selflessly giving right that creates a relationship of the years of giving that is that is nothing compared to the first thrill of chemistry but it's far deeper and far greater in another way so these are the two stages of all life experience if you like the three stages that is the theme and that's what I was asked to talk to you about it applies in Jewish history that applies in the inception and the Jewish people it applies in the birth of a child it applies in all relationships and in marriage it applies in community work when you go to a summit you get inspired or you have a meeting or you come up with a new plan first moment is very inspiring then when you calm down and you think of all the difficulties it seems impossible and that's the test not to get inspired easily in a in a simple superficial way that's easy but whether you can make it happen whether you can go through the long night called the long winter or the long desert of your own loneliness and difficulty and make it happen and become a great person there that is the real test so those are some thoughts about an all Emmys summit and about - the inspiration that we give each other when we meet and we come up with plans and we we give prizes you know and we we have the inspiration we have the energy input the question is really that is only intentional it's only departure it's only setting a destination in sight now comes the walk through the difficulties to actually make it happen that's where it's over to you where the ole army team with the donors and the creative thinkers or facilitating everything that you can do but then comes the difficulty when it's really over to you let me take just one two minutes to see if anyone has a question on the screen please you welcome I'll spend two or three minutes if you want to type something up otherwise I will hand over to Jackie McCullen allow me and greet you and thank you for this session so if there's anything that that I was not made clear well that you'd like to comment on I'm all eyes all ears for the next few seconds okay doesn't look like anyone has any questions right now but I've given my email address it's right there on the screen anyone's welcome to contact me at any time of course I'm always happy to help or answer if I can thank you very much for this opportunity regards to Jackie and to everyone today vyd thanks for this summit and thank you for this opportunity to study together all the best