Rabbi Dr Abraham Twerski On Empathy

empathy is a term which has to be understood because some people feel they can confuse between empathy and sympathy feeling for somebody else does not mean justifying the other person but empathy means being able to see things from the other person's perspective right and my mother used to refer to this as the Holy altadena alta din is the phrase in the ethics of the fathers do not judge another person till you've been in his place remember always used to say that's the holy out today no never touch another pissed if you don't know what the person is going through ah there's an interesting story that my father used to tell about one of our great uncle's who was a Hasidic rabbi and his followers his Hasidim used to come in and tell it had their problems so one morning he was sitting and receiving all of his supplicants and later on his aide notice that it's because we're drenched with perspiration and he said to him why were you sweating so profusely you weren't exerting yourself he says I wasn't exerting myself he says you realize when somebody comes and tells me a problem in order for me to help him I have to feel that problem I have to take off my clothes and put on his clothes oh now I feel his problem but then I can't help him because I'm some too subjective so in order to become objective again I have to take off his clothes and put my clothes on again I've been sitting here all morning putting our clothes taking off my clothes putting on my clothes they know Mom Kota Sam haven't been exerting myself empathy means being able to put on somebody else's clothes and it's important in every relationship it's important between parents and children and parents operate with an adult mind have no way of knowing what does the child feel like and to be able to empathize with a child right is extremely important than parenting