Worthy of Judgement (Ep. 182)

hi this is deborah dolowski and welcome to the robert gallowski show [Music] and whether you're watching with our friends over attorney time whoever you watch or listen to your podcast as always thank you for allowing me to be a part of your day week hour however it goes because i know every now and then somebody just stumbles onto this and binge watches this is show 181 and if you do that then really really you need to go to a detox center afterwards there's only so much of this you can handle [Laughter] and uh as always we would like to thank our anonymous sponsor who is sponsoring as of course for himself and for his family and may they have only uh uh health and as art raymond in the uh art raymond simcon wevd used to say yeah hell's wealth and the time to enjoy it so alec yeah okay um it's hello oh my gosh hello we are preparing ourselves for rosh hashanah and then we go into the assaisment shiva and then we go into yom kippur uber right [Music] what a mood killer that one is eh yeah reflecting on the uh days of or don't uh don't really uh get people to it removes khala's rice that's exactly what we're talking about to be able to take things more seriously um and i want to i want to address if i can one aspect of the yemen that i think is very important uh i've been asked this question over the years by different people hashem will forgive me right i mean even if i don't do chuva and i keep doing your various i shall forgive me right they don't realize that they are basically uh repeating the statement from the german philosopher goth who on his death bed was crying his wife was crying and he said don't worry god will forgive me that's what he does and that's what they were asking god don't forgive me anyway right you if i don't do anything right and i said yes as long as you can convince god that you're a baby and you're not capable of anything yeah because the two-year-old got into the kitchen pulled the stuff out of the cabinets somehow managed to pull down you know the stuff from the counter and there's a big mess all over the kitchen and he's sitting there he's covered in mess and the whole kitchen's a mess what are you gonna do say all right young man i expect you to clean up this mess and then you're gonna go into your room and have a little time to think about what you did and then i expect you to tell me why what you did was wrong okay it goes so obviously this is a worthless uh adventure that we're embarking on so instead like all parents you'll sigh and pick them up and take off all dirty clothes and put him in the bath and clean him up as he points out dude i know you know and you'll brush out his hair and put uh put some clean pajamas on him put him down for a nap and you'll go in and clean up the mess i have no expectations of that person because they're not capable not capable if you find yourself in a relationship where the other person really has no expectations of you because they basically feel you're not really capable of much [Laughter] and so when a person says i can't handle this and i can't do this and can't you take care of this for me and why do i have that and you say yes of course i'll handle this right you're basically acknowledging the fact that you don't really have a tremendous amount of respect for this person you don't have too much expectations what is the person supposed to do they're they're not capable the missionary in rosh hashanah says that on rosh hashanah everybody in the world passes before krish baruch who could it beneath marone and the mayor brings three shot him on what the name maroon is it's either a reference to the um army of david malek who was so strong that they went single file this is not a good idea if you ever read the book a bridge too far where montgomery was pushing eisenhower to use his plan to go through holland and attack the germans it uh it involved them capturing five bridges and it was just one road and all the tanks had to go through on that one road and if anything happened the whole line would get stuck and uh the person who was listening to the plan said i think it's a bridge too far maybe four but you're not going to get to that fifth one and that's in fact what happened it was a bridge too far and it was a terrible defeat it really uh ended up that holland was the last place to be liberated instead of the first and it was just an absolute disaster you just you didn't have enough room you have to be able to spread out that's the idea of a pincer movement that was one of the things that napoleon was brilliant as he would move his armies around and circle and that's why when you're stuck you're not gonna go anywhere world war one everything that happened basically happened in august of 1914 and then they dug a big trench basically from the atlantic all the way down to switzerland and each side entrenched and they put a barbed wire and they put up machine gun nest and every now and then one side would amass an enormous amount of people and run across and they'd all be slaughtered and we'd go back and forth like this throughout the war for four years there was no way to be able to to capture it so you want to be able to have maneuverability and move around and go so you just go in one straight line you got to be pretty confident and the army of david de mellock was very confident they were so strong that they weren't afraid or bene marone which is another gear on is talking about a mountain path and it's a very narrow mountain pass one side there's a mountain and the other side is the abyss and so you can have to walk single file along this mountain road and it's very dangerous because if you have a misstep you'll fall off the side and the third is bonne marone means like sheep because when they would do mice behemoth so you had to take all of the sheep that were born that year and you put them into a pen and you had a narrow opening so that they could only walk out one at a time and as they walked out one at a time you counted till you came to 10 and then you took red paint put it on the side and you knew that was mice behemoth so that's how the shepherd counts as sheep one at a time so it says we stand before krishna maroon whichever shot you take it means one at a time as an individual a kurichbaraku lifts you up out of all of mankind and says so how's it going so you think i should give you another year of life or not and we're like why why why are you talking to me why did i get here because you are adam no adam harishan every person in this world we have to decide whether you should exist and we have to look at you as an individual that's din and din is scary remember hearing people who were in rose television sheer when he used to give obviously years ago and if he called on you it was very he was he had a reputation being rough there was a uh a brisker you know there was a uh um a major donor to yeshua university who wanted the experience and he says i'd like to he came to salvage because i'd like to sit in your shirt so sure so the guy sits down he's got his camera open in front of him so he looks at the guy he's the first one he calls him he goes read the ramban he said i'm going to prepare the wrong button he says get out that's how i run my shirt you want to be in my shirt you prepare the mammograms yeah so people used to hide behind pillars because they didn't want to be seen they don't want to be picked out you want to be called upon yeah there are certain people a certain style of comedy where they're going to pick on people in the audience certain people will sit in the front row because they want to be picked on and other people stay way away because they don't want to become the center of attention yeah and uh i looked at russo when i was learning and calling this story is about 33 years old and uh and i was asking about a particular thing and he says no i don't like to stand out he was a husset i said you're dressed in clothes from the 1700s and you don't want to stand out it's a little too late for that but the idea of being seen as yourself so on the one hand it's a little scary on the other hand it's an amazing statement because if baruch who is going to judge you then he thinks you're worth being judged think about that they always have a pre-trial before the trial to decide whether or not the person is competent to stand trial and the fact that comes rosh hashanah doesn't just say i don't worry about this guy he's a two-year-old you can't expect anything of him i have no expectations of you and i always say this just because you can't do everything doesn't mean you can't do anything and there are things that you have done right this year and you deserve to be judged and rewarded for that so i don't know everything just because i don't know everything doesn't mean that i don't know anything someone sent me an email it was a okay for those of you not familiar with this there was a tv show i think it started in the 60s called jeopardy there was a um host art fleming and uh it was like the smartest show most of these are pretty stupid shows you know with stupid questions and uh you know you spend most of the time just telling you about the prizes you know but this was a real intelligent show and the original you get like ten dollars for a question and it worked real hard you weren't gonna make a lot of money on the show you had to be pretty smart you know and uh they had jeopardy then they had double jeopardy and then they had final jeopardy one last question and so art uh fleming died and then alex trebek took over you know and and then he died and i think now bialik is in line to be able to take over and um and uh it's it's still going still going strong and you got to be smart to be able to compete on this so they have jeopardy and then they have double jeopardy and then they have final jeopardy so a guy set me yeah i like to think i'm pretty smart when i would go visit my mother uh so i tried to spend as much time with her as i could when i wasn't out speaking so one of her great delights was to sit and watch jeopardy um at this point i was a pretty well-known rabbi throughout the jewish world i had lectured in australia and south africa throughout europe north america my mother was not as impressed by that as she was by the fact that i knew most of the answers to jeopardy now okay full disclosure you know it's not the same anymore because um you know when they talk about music and they're talking about music my music knowledge doesn't go past the 1970s i've never heard of any of these groups or songs you know every now and then they have a topic opera i have to admit i don't know too much about that you know but if it's the usual topics of like history and literature and things like that i have a pretty good knowledge you know so i i i feel like i you know pretty pretty well versed um so he sends me final jeopardy questions i didn't know one i don't know any of them it was it was a real downer really made me feel pretty silly because you know i pride myself on having knowledge of of worthless information you know and i i couldn't answer one question it was really pretty amazing and i guessed each one which i thought i was right now each time i was wrong it was uh humbling but uh um but okay but just because i don't know that doesn't mean they don't know anything i know a lot of answers you know different questions over the years i don't know if i still do i haven't i haven't really tried you know they give you the answer and then you have to provide the question it must be the question form you know so they used to have what they called celebrity jeopardy they have celebrities who was this comedian um robert klein very smart guy you know and i don't know what the question was let's pretend you know he was the first president united states so he goes george washington says it has to be in the form of a question he goes george washington [Laughter] inflection anyway so uh so just because you don't know everything doesn't mean that you don't know anything and you walk into rosh hashanah and some things you have done and the very fact that the coach borough is judging you means that he thinks that you are worthwhile and you have a contribution to make in this world i can't tell you how many times i've heard from from people i feel like coach parker doesn't care if i live or die make no mistake about it he has no shortage of ways of getting rid of you so if you're still here it's because he wants you here because he believes there's something that you can do in this world and i think ultimately our preparation for rashiyaniyam kipra is for us to be able to go to a kurdish borough and say i am part of the plan i am an instrument in the symphony orchestra i am a cell in the body of claudioso i have something to do and i'm going to try to fulfill that purpose now this is by way of introduction because very often something happens and it annoys me and uh someone says to me oh that's going to be your next podcast and i think yeah that's what it's going to be [Laughter] so i was someplace for shabbos and i'm not going to give any information because whenever i do it always comes back it's amazing that there's so many bright detective-like people out there that if i give even the slightest hint and people get offended even if i don't mean to be offensive now many times i mean to be offensive but even if i don't mean to be offended people get offended i have a good friend and i told the story and i don't remember when i told the story about something that happened with him and his wife when they first got married you know it's basically a story that like makes my friend look a little silly and his wife uh you know comes out this very often happens in these stories as like the more intelligent better one you know okay i don't remember when i said this it was i don't remember what i say you know um he calls me up one time and he says my wife heard that you mentioned her in a podcast could you please delete that podcast so i said which podcast was it you know so i don't know i said listen i i i've made over 180 of these you know to go back and search for each one of them where i told some little throwaway story some people love it when they get a shout out you know sometimes i mention people who are very famous people and they contact me afterwards and thank me for mentioning them you know but sometimes people people don't appreciate being mentioned i guess they want to stay hiding behind the pillar and they don't want to draw attention whatever it is so i certainly apologize you know and um and i do sometimes say things in a delicate um manner i sometimes will tell over story and for dramatic effect i build it up a little bit and if i give too many details and people figure out who the person is and they end up looking bad well of course that was never my intention i was just embellishing it for uh for dramatic effect but you know that's that has negative consequences that the person is able to identify themselves because i gave too much information so i really try when i think about it um you know to try to keep things uh as anonymous as possible right okay so i was dobbing someplace in sensual and uh the shul was not very crowded on a friday night i saw there were a bunch of people sitting in these three rows in the back and i said to the person i was with why are they sitting back there and he said because when we were selling seats they didn't want to buy a seat in the show so this whole front section of the show is all sold seats so that's really the ezra snushum and we don't get women so we move back to makita you know and so anybody who wants can sit over there i said okay but they paid dues right no i said oh well they only dive in here once in a while says they've been coming steadily for three years straight i said well okay they just come and dive in and leave like they don't stay if there's a kiddish oh no they stay near the kiddish too i thought to myself you know there are expenses who's paying the expenses they had to fix up the shull they had to pay for electricity and air conditioning you know and and and safari and everything that goes into running a shull shame's ignition you don't want to help before rosh hashanah there's a number of shows that i show up to sometimes not on a regular basis and i always try i don't always succeed because i do forget but i always try to go around to all these schools and find the gabbai and pay shul dues for the year i may not dive in there very often but if i do i feel like i should pay the membership they have expenses why do i assume i'm going to walk in and find a minion waiting for me with chairs and tables and bathrooms and sinks and the swarm and you know and everything's all set up you have no sense of responsibility that everything is being set up for you and you don't want to help so unfortunately you see this a lot you see people who um will go into the shul kitchen or basement kitchen and make themselves a cup of coffee and leave the milk out and leave the sugar uncovered and if a little bit spills they leave it there and you come in the morning and the dirty coffee cup is on the table they take experiment they don't put it back i'm not even talking about helping just clean up the mess that you made but i'll be down the coast these people think of themselves like that two-year-old kid like the person who said to me i shouldn't forgive me anyway right i don't have to do anything why wouldn't you want to do something you have no sense of wanting to accomplish anything i think everybody wants to accomplish something i think everybody wants to be able to turn around and say i i did something even if it's not everything but uh something you do people are i see people walk through the door of the building or wherever i am and they see me walking after them it's another three seconds just hold the door it said they let it go let it slam right in my face is that a lot not a lot i really try to make an effort to hold the door when i see people coming yeah i have a little concern so we're going to go into rosh hashanah and that's what ello has to do is we have to develop with ourselves a sense of responsibility i am akrai just because i can't do everything doesn't mean i can't do anything i've told this story before i think it's in chicken soup for the soul this guy's watching working along the beach and he sees starfish and he's picking them up and throwing them back into the sea so somebody says what are you doing he says well they'll die if they don't get back into the sea he says but there are thousands of starfish and this is happening on beaches all over the world you can't make a difference and he picked up one and he threw it back in and said made a difference to him so i can't save everybody that doesn't mean i can't save anybody so i can't do everything that doesn't mean i can't do anything and this is a very very sad situation that there are people who just sit around and wait for other people to do it at the end of a kiddish some people help put away things clear off other people just sit there nothing this forget about whether or not the person needs your help or not don't you want to participate don't you want to feel a sense of acharyas some sense of responsibility it doesn't make people happy when they're just takers people want to give it's part of our nature and if we're if we make ourselves into such a network that we just take or we take and we um and we never participate we never help i'm going to walk into rosh hashanah and our best hope is that hashem doesn't notice us when he picks us up try to hide under the under the little in the inside the little hand of hashem and say i'm not really here don't look at me i'm not here that's sad well a person could say i can do something in this world i'm important there was a school i spoke in once in high school and uh there was a family that was very poor like mama's poor they couldn't pay any tuition and paying tuition so okay so the school says you'll have to pay any tuition and uh and friday they used to have like a little uh some sort of an egg or something like that you know getting ready for shamas so the woman called up and said could i bake potato googles for the school i could afford some potatoes and some onions some eggs and she made very good botanicals but she would make potato cookies for the for the high school they would have them and she felt good because she felt like she was doing something i've told this story before that when my father decided to send us to yeshiva at the hebrew academy of nassau county he had gone bankrupt a few years earlier and money was very tight but he made the decision to send us and give us a uh issue of education and uh my father had to go hat in hand to the scholarship committee committee which was very hard for him it was hard for him because he wanted to be a person who was carrying his weight anyway four kids in the school and got a good discount you know and eventually the business started to turn around so he comes into the scholarship meeting and they say okay mr olowski we're prepared to offer you the following scholarship and he said i refuse to pay a penny more than full tuition and the guy says i'm sorry mr olavsky this is what we're offering you if you're not prepared to pay this amount then we're gonna have to ask your kids to leave so do you do what you have to do but i'm not paying any more than full tuition he says all right then i'm sorry you'll have to find make other arrangements for your children for next year and the guy next to him says i think he's offering you more i was like what she said i'm sorry mr alaska did you repeat what you just said i'm not going to pay a penny more than full tuition he says you're turning down the scholarship he said that's right thank god i don't need it anymore he says you're the first parent in the history of the school to turn down a scholarship and remember geisman zasao told me that over the years he made a heisman how much scholarship he had gotten and he paid it all back to the school because he felt the sense of a christ he felt a sense of responsibility there was a boy i know in ncsy and he wanted his father to send him to yeshiva same yeshiva that i went to and he said listen could you help me out can you give me a scholarship i said well just go to the scholarship committee why should it be a problem he goes well when they see my income they're probably not going to give me one i said really he says yeah and i'm building a vacation home right now etc so i don't know that they'll be so you know receptive but you know i have to also think about cash flow i thought to myself these teachers make nothing i mean really ridiculous amount of money and they were months behind in their salaries and you're worried about your cash flow you know so we have to be in this world with a sense of responsibility with the sense of acharyas i owe something to this world i have to give to the world just like i take and if we come in with that sense of acharyas and we come in rosh hashanah and we say i'm your guy or gal you can count on me i'm not perfect but i'm on your team and whatever i can do i'm going to try to do to help spread you and torah and yadus and the world the way that it should be as always uh the kickles one of the most brilliant social commentaries that exist in the firm world and they had this picture of these girls in camp and they're on a bus on a bus and they're spilling things and this and the bus driver keeps keeps yelling at them sit down you know stop doing that you know the whole ride and they're screaming they get they don't care then they get off and they all say thank you thank you thank you very much and they get off and they say you see we all said thank you what a kid is [Laughter] yeah not so much [Laughter] and so that's why every one of us has to be able to make their own contributions i i do in my own small way what i can i don't know people were wondering you know you spoke last week about being as modern and about profession people doing things what did you do during the break that was particularly meaningful for claudia smell and not just for clay as well but for the whole world i would like you to watch this short video so you have an opportunity to see what i did during my break not just for you and for the people of the world but let's just suffice it to say that i am the hero that the world needs not the one that it deserves okay that was me basically saving gotham city if you if you only uh if you're on audio and you didn't get to see it what can i tell you you you missed something spectacular that's what i'm gonna tell you suffice it to say that uh when i was in l.a i took my kids to warner brothers studios and i made it as a as a business write-off because of this video [Laughter] all right and now we come to the question and answer portion of our program benny malek asks why did ghazal only give a list of kosher birds and not signs like other animals didn't khazal know that this would lead to an unclear mesora about which birds we can and cannot eat so quick uh word of clarification khazal did not give a list of kosher birds that you can eat the torah did the torah lists 24 birds that are tummy and it says you can eat all the birds except for these 24. that means that all the other birds are kosher as long as you know what those 24 birds are then you're fine however as the jewish people traveled from israel middle east to europe other places we weren't sure already in the time of the gemara it says you know there are many different types of ravens just to say that oh rave you have to know what they are there's so many different types of birds the torah decided to give you a list of the birds that you're not allowed to eat as opposed to telling you what you can eat why because i'll say because the torah lists simanim and names of what's mutter if that's the smaller amount so by animals most animals are not kosher the torah gives a list and divirum of 10 animals that you can eat and it gives you some other apparently by fish is the minimum amount that a kosher and therefore it gave you simone and said watch for these things and you can have them but apparently most birds are kosher just these are not and so the torah told you just stay away from these the problem with the simone is that the shimano are not absolute if you look in shogunate they give you some simon that you can use as a as a guide but they're not absolute and so therefore unless you know this was one of the animals you can't eat it but that had nothing to do with that that was the way a kurdish baruch who decided to set it up anonymous asks why would hashem bring dementia to old people and have them lose their memories they seem like they're just not with us here who suffers more us or them thank you p.s thank you for all your personal content and jokes your honesty and of course your great torah content and i never got an answer to my quest last question does your wife watch or listen to your podcast to the last answer it's not usually sometimes i watch it over again and if she's there she listens to it but she doesn't like go online right away to listen to it and she hears me all the time and uh and um sometimes there's certain shirom that she makes sure to listen to the tvilla series which he really my wife is the intellectual the families i've always pointed out and she's always says how impressed she is of the content of the tila series and uh you know she feels it's on a very you know not only a high rama but also very practical that i show how to be able to use it so um but to the podcast you know she doesn't make an effort to listen to it if i happen to be listening to it she does as far as dementia goes uh i don't know but if i had to make a suggestion i would say the following first of all a kurdish borough who gives you taurus in this world so you won't have it in the next world and uh people who are suffering from dementia are still here they just can't access it they're still alive you know there's a if you want to read a really scary book it's called the living dead which was written by a science journalist who describes himself as an atheist about brain death and he says it makes no sense not from a legal point of view not from a moral point of view not from a medical point of view he slugs it all up and one of the things he refers to is something that's called locked in syndrome which when you look at the person he looks like he's brain dead but he's still conscious and uh well they tell stories about where you know a person was brain dead you know officially for whatever it is next period of time then came back so uh it's it's very inexact and he says that the main reason they came up with brain death is because they can't take the heart out of a dead person so they have to come up with a definition how a living person is dead so they can take their heart out and give it to somebody else so uh in general it's frowned upon to take the heart out of a living person so we just redefined it like recession used to be a recession was two quarters of negative gdp but it's not anymore now recession is as david steinberg would have said if you remember that old uh old jewish comic but anyhow so um uh so that's it we we redefine things humpty dumpty said in alice for the work looking glass words mean what i want them to mean yeah so uh um so very often they're still conscious even though they can't access it it's just a form it's it's a form of suffering in this world that people go through sometimes in order to be able to expect their suffering my father suffered from jenna machala for the last two years of his life and he suffered terribly with terrible pain and i remember a good friend of my father ever schroed yaakov schweitz it came to be and he brought out a guru that says that when we get to the next world so who judges us he looks at all of our mitzvahs and looks at a lot of vegas and the various are much more and then the malachim come and they bring all of your souris and all of you you suram and all of your suffering and put it on the other side and that's how everybody gets in dolomab so uh so sometimes that's what they need to go through i heard an explanation once i don't know what the source is but i might be hearing it many years ago on the subject of developmentally disabled kids and people like that who seem like they're totally dependent you have to be able to give in this world but you also have to be able to take and there are certain people who refuse to take anything they don't want anyone help them they don't do anything so what i heard is that kosbarjo allows these people to come back in a completely dependent state so they can attacking the fact that they never let anybody help them because we're so to help each other bahrain hashem created many different types of people and each one of them is lacking something so the farmer needs the shoemaker and the shoemaker needs the blacksmith and the blacksmith needs the uh you know the butcher and everybody needs somebody in order to be able to make it in this world you're you weren't meant to be alone meant to work together so that's what i would think rabbi yolovsky crazy number one asks you've mentioned in the past that your parents referred to you as a lawyer did they do the same to your siblings if not why only you i was unique [Laughter] and i am to this day um i'll give you an example my father uh had a floor store a florist and nursery all of the brothers went into the store to help and on sunday whenever he would take them in certainly before mother's day or valentine's day it was all hands on deck i didn't uh he used to bring me in on sunday and after a while he asked me to please not come i made more trouble than than i helped so he said to me stay home and help your mother there was this image that i was not you know all my brothers played sports some of them were very good at it some of them were good at it but some of them were very good at it i never played sports when i went to camp they invented a special um position for me in baseball called deep center field and i used to walk out there and and eventually i sensed the inning was over and i would walk back and then i would sometimes they would just stay there the whole game it didn't even pay to walk back you know they got a pinch hitter so uh i i was never sports oriented i wasn't coordinated in that way the gifts that i had which are intellectual and communicative and uh you know emotional was not valued in my family [Laughter] their family of doers accomplishing things and and i was not plus i had all these learning disabilities that no one knew back then the early 60s when i was going to school no one knew about these things so i wasn't doing particularly well in school so the teachers would write down every report card smart but doesn't try and doesn't understand that doesn't work and doesn't this they didn't know that i can't hold on to the information because i have no retention or that i can't read because of dyslexia or my mind keeps wandering away because of the add no one knew these things so basically you got this kid who's kind of dreamy not very coordinated not able to handle many things and also painfully shy i was painfully shy i had no friends now that i have no friends but uh in elementary school there's a cast system there's the really cool kids then there's their lieutenants and then there's the people anyway at the bottom level there were two kids one guy uh looked like a pig pen from peanuts he was always covered in dust there was a cloud that went around him he had his everything was falling apart he was dirty and a mess and the other one was this kid who had this like sort of like pig nose you know a little chubby kid his shirts didn't even cover his belly button i was under them i was the one that they picked on that's how far down i was i was literally at the bottom um in fact this may not seem very important at this stage in your life but you know when you were a little kid so you wanted to be the first in line when they lined up so i never got to be first line but sometimes i'd be second in line and the entire class would do francie's backsies until i was at the end so i'm this network kind of kid who's kind of dreamy doesn't do particularly well in school you know i mean um it can't really help out in the business yeah so the picture was of a kid who basically is never going to make it in life now to be fair i'm not saying that my parents were wrong i had a reshiva who told one of my bosses once i can't believe he ever amounted to anything so my parents had a pretty good idea about who i was and all my other brothers went to the store they they worked and they you know they they were you know accomplished they had friends they played sports you know and i didn't do any of those things so uh that's why they saw me as a person who was never going to make it in life okay uh one last question why k asks i guess he's related to y2k that's a joke from the year 2000 anyway uh i learned how to drive last year very nice borough hashem i happen to be a good and responsible driver while i first started driving i would be really nervous and dive in extra hard that morning that when i drove i would drive safely and not hurt anyone else i'm generally an anxious person if you can tell now when i drive i don't feel so nervous anymore i dive in but i don't worry about it as much during te fila and not worrying makes me worry as hashem going to see my lack of worry as me being too confident in my skills instead of believing it's hashem who keeps me safe no matter how experienced i am i am at an age where everything is rude in my judaism i remember when i was a kid and i would go to school everything was an adventure every young tip was an adventure i never knew oh we're supposed to do this was to do that you know you forget you know and certainly rosh hashanah young kipper now even more shooting and keepers wrote i i know what's going to happen i know how it's going to happen i got it all down you know so of course you're a lot more nervous when you don't know what you're doing my father over shalom used to say that after you pass your road test you have to learn how to drive because if you're going to continue to drive with your hands at two o'clock and ten o'clock between 18 and 23 miles an hour um checking your mirrors every three seconds you'll be killed by someone suffering from road rage understand don't don't do it do not do it you have to learn how to how to drive i had a student uh when i taught in seminary who she wanted to borrow the car so he said first i have to see you drive on the highway while you put on your makeup she says what he said i know you're going to do it i have to see if you can do it if you can actually drive and do it at the same time so yeah of course when you first start out everybody is artificial the famous writer william faulkner was speaking at a writing convention in columbia university and he said how many people here are serious about writing and everyone raised their hand and he said then why aren't you home doing it because the way you learn how to write is by writing people ask me how do you become a good speaker speak and the more you speak the more you will become adept at it malcolm gladwell points out in one of his books about the 10 000 hours it takes 10 000 hours to become proficient at something and after that you know how to do it you get it down really and that's why he suggests that the people became the leaders in computer field steve jobs and bill gates it's because they were in a unique position to have more access to the computer than other people so they were able to do it and uh you need that time to be able to develop proficiency i met a fellow once who was a concert flutist and they became from his learning yeshiva i said how come you never play the fluted he says if you don't have eight hours a day to practice it's not worth it when i was a magician um all the magic professionals told you the same thing you have to practice for hours and hours and hours before you show a trick i didn't i got by my personality you know i found a pretty easy trick to do and then i made a lot of fun and it was very entertaining but i was not a master manipulator a magician um pressed the digitation was not i didn't i didn't have that that gift but i didn't have to i was very entertained i used the magic so um um so a person needs a lot of time to get good at something so when you first start driving it's terrifying you you you don't have the experience the more years of experience you have the more then you understand how to be able to do it that's true about everything it's true about cooking first time you make a particular dish it might be difficult you might have to try to figure it out after a while you know more or less how to make it and it doesn't require as much nerves or worry to be able to do it because you know how to do it so when you're first learning how to drive you were very nervous because you weren't good at it as you get better then it becomes everything else in your life that you have to generally ask a kurdish brother for help but just like usually you know when you uh you tie your shoes i'm sure at some point in your life that was a big challenge i still don't know how to tie my shoes you know i was a kid i just i told you i wasn't very dexterous you know and i was finally in um in a hotel camp where we were staying and the guys showed me to make two bunny rabbit ears and pull them together but nobody ties their shoes that way i'm the only one who's still doing it like that because i never learned the other way so uh so okay but but now i can more or less tie my shoes it doesn't really require that much effort although i do it my own method but at the beginning you ever watch a little kid trying to tie a tie and they keep doing it over and over again because they make it too short they pick this to make the wrong knot you know it takes it takes but once you get it down you don't have to think about it anymore so there's a difference between when i'm doing something that i don't know how to do and i i ask a coach barracuda for a general you know help me be successful in life and particularly with this thing that i don't know what i'm doing and something that you know how to do and you're just going in the general way of a kurdish borough who helping you okay that's it for this week if you want to find out more about the show you can go to my website ruby alaska.com where you can send an email make a comment sponsor an episode um sign up for any of the online shiorim and uh and that's about it for this week i'm deborah dolofsky and this has been the rabbi yolowski show it's the rabbi orlovsky show torah and simply ready to go the rabbi orlovsky show knowledge and wisdom will help you grow lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhyme no no it's the rabbi orlovsky show on rabbi orlovsky.com torah anytime [Music] till next time till we meet again throughout my orolovsky show it's the raviolsky show it's the rabbi orlowski [Music]