When Life gets Messy (Ep. 171)

hi this is david ololowski and welcome to the ravrolowski show thank you very much uh i got a question with somebody they asked me uh is do you have an audience when you film the podcast sometimes i'm not a very large audience but we usually have a smattering but of course if you were at the live show in flatbush that we did we had a much larger live audience and we're going to be doing that again may 17th tuesday night 8 p.m uh america's ha simcha in brooklyn 1898 bear avenue so uh come early bring a stick and beat the crowds anyway that's a little joke there uh i don't want you going around hitting people this is not the oscars anyway so uh uh but uh that's gonna be more of a live audience so uh so we wanna see i wanna see you there uh a lot of people were complaining last time that uh that they didn't have enough notice so i hope you have more notice this time and in fact it was interesting i know if i told the story um i was uh i was at the airport and i met a couple who said they wanted to come but their kid was getting married that night so that's why i uh first of all i think you have to re-examine your priorities but besides that um that's why i made this before lag ba omer before the wedding season starts so that those of you who are making weddings gives you an opportunity to inspire and reinvigorate yourself to be able to make their hasana all that more meaningful okay and maybe we'll burn something just to be on the safe side so just to set that preparation okay so that's uh that's what's coming up um what other bits of business uh the sign up is up ready for the tela series by the time you're seeing this we will have had the opening shear and uh you don't want to miss this i i will give you part of the introduction that i plan on saying and that is that the emphasis of this course is not going to be theory i'm not going to be talking about tefila i want to go through the davening and give you practical insights into the words that you're saying so that your darvening becomes more meaningful to you that's the goal the emphasis is on practical and as uh all of my online shiurim the reason i don't just record them and put them up uh as shiurim is because it's interactive i want people to be able to speak to be able to share thoughts and to be able to participate so uh that's why this is unique i like to think that we're we're having a sheer as opposed to a lecture as opposed to a recording where people can actually you know um be interactive with me and so we can all work together to improve our davening right okay that's coming up now um i remember the last time we did a live show uh we're doing it in brooklyn again i was gonna do one in lakewood do one of the five towns but i don't have people to set it up and so i have my my brooklyn people who are there and uh we uh we love you and uh i know i know that it's gonna take place so uh working with the talmudic principle if it ain't broken don't fix it so i know that it worked last time so when this location becomes so full you know then i'll we'll worry about uh expanding so um uh i remember hearing somebody used to doven by robby reisman uh he might still well i know but i had heard the story from him many years ago they was complaining that the bass medrash isn't big enough we should have an expansion reisman said when the seder before shabbos medica is too full that's when i'll expand [Laughter] but uh so when this location is is over full but you know when you come there are a lot of uh rabbi yolowski show crazies right and i i'm i look at myself as a participant i don't look at myself you know as uh you know it's very alaska i'm just i'm just with you we're all we're all having fun together that's the way that's where i like to look at it and um there are people who have listened to all of my shirum like all of them going back years and they know everything about me because i wear my heart on my sleeve and you know people meet my children go are you the one who are you the you know so i sometimes try to couch it a little bit so people don't know who i'm talking about you know but i remember um my son when i had only one son you know before i had the two little boys at the end uh but i had one son i had eight girls and one boy and he says abba it's not fair whenever you say my son everyone knows you're talking about me i said okay from now on i won't say my son i'll say one of my kids so uh i was talking i said so one of my kids was going to hate her but you know there's a a lot of our information is out there in fact i and my something that uh i know you who watch the podcast will find this amazing but it was a little edgy you know they said i can get the trouble i said anyone who wants to take me down there's enough stuff out there already to take me down you know if if if you haven't got me don't worry about it one of my brothers used to say if you're gonna kill me you better shoot me with the first bullet because you ain't getting a second shot so i've been killed at least three times and i'm still here so you know take your best shot anyway but um there are people who rubbish watch everything they they know everything they're they're a part of my life so we had in the audience uh a couple of rubbish show fans you know and i did a particular podcast and he said to me i heard everything you said before everything you said you said before now i don't know if that's true and i started to show him i never said this i never said that he always started to agree with me but there are certain general themes that are going to repeat itself uh rabbi dr twersky once said i wrote i forgot how many books at the time 35 books 40 books but i really only wrote one book 40 times yeah because it all has the same basic theme or as i once said to rabbi brown after a sheer by moshe shapiro i said i feel like he said all these things already and he said an artist has only so many colors to work with but he can produce endless paintings so yeah a lot of the ideas i tend to repeat because uh they're important so people know uh a lot of what's going on and they feel like i repeat certain things so i want to tell you a story that i know you've never heard i know it's never heard because it just happened to me last week so brand new story those of you who say oh he repeats stuff brand new story you may have noticed uh if you're in any of my other shi orim that i am a coke zero aficionado i am not endorsing it i drink it for the caffeine i drink the coke zero because i don't want the sugar but i need the caffeine i suppose they probably make an israeli version of nodoz which i used to use during high school when i would save my reports that were given to me in november and one sunday night in june i finally decided to start writing it the day before it was due so i would take no dose to stay up and type it the only thing is that you know if you take enough caffeine it wakes up your mind but your body's still asleep so i'm typing like this i'm like okay we got to speed this up somehow oh my body was sleeping so it wakes up i guess i could just take a straight caffeine pill but okay i drink coke zero it helps to wake me up you know so i go up at night into the basement to prepare i give a daffodil mishear online as you know you can sign up for it uh at the website rubioski.com along with the missiles of sharon shirum and the tequila series yeah so um i'm upstairs preparing and i have my coke zero so at some times it's uh noisy in the basement edition i know there's nothing wrong with being noise in the basement noise in the basement doesn't bother me the concerts bother me there are certain people who it's not that they're learning they're singing but i mean they're literally singing they're sitting in front of the commander going on [Applause] and i find that extremely disturbing for me i i i need concentration so people who are learning okay it's the sound of learning you can you can consider that the call the base measures but the people who want to put on a concert i have no i i i i it's difficult for me to learn so i go in the back room so go in the back room and i put my coke zero on a chair and there's a stack of chairs next to me these plastic chairs and i put my little cup of coke zero so i'm learning at one point i go to refill my cup and i didn't hold the cup because i thought that it was heavy enough that it would be able to hold it but i was wrong it spilled over and the coke zero spilled onto the chair well i put the bottle down and i started cleaning it up but these plastic chairs that they have in israel about in america these plastic kettle chairs they have little holes in them so i said oh my gosh it must have gone down the stack of chairs and i was right by the way every single chair had coke zero on it so i lift up the first chair without realizing that people had stacked up svarim on the shelf sticking out so i lifted up the chair this foreign fell off knocked over the bottom of coke syrup which exploded all over the floor so i looked at the situation first thing i did was pick up the bottle of coke zero it took me a few seconds to do that i should have done that faster i suppose and i'm in the back room of the base magic this is a big mess so i i really thought of the you know the first uh encounter of the marvelous meadows machine where the kids spill the milk on the kitchen floor and one of them says let's go back to bed yeah so that's what i was thinking maybe i should leave [Laughter] and just pretend i don't know anything about it then i realized everyone knows i bring a big bottle of coke zero so i got no choice i go in the back i find the sponger you know i start spongering it up wringing out coke zero into the bucket you know hashem i'm not a yeshiva guy because the yeshiva guy thinks maybe i can still drink this a guy told me he was in this d-ring like this glass of jelly fell and it shattered a jar of jelly and you know when something shatters like that you know there's a million little pieces and they're wondering how much of the jelly can i salvage that probably won't have little glass fragments so uh so so i'm wringing it out i'm cleaning it up and i clean up the whole place and then i get to the stack of chairs and each chair has a little puddle of coke zero you know and so i get the whole place clean yeah now this reminded me of an earlier story and i'm pretty sure i never told this story either yeah when i was long island regional director one of my obligations was to raise my budget i'm not a fundraiser i never have been um it's because of a poor renuk that my parents gave me my parents taught me never to ask anybody for anything and that's how i am to this day very hard for me if i'm in an uh community where i don't have a car and i don't know anybody and i'm staying a mile away from the shawl i will walk that mile rather than ask somebody for a ride it's very hard for me that's how my parents brought me up i remember when i was in elementary school a kid invited me over his house for shabbos and i asked my parents they said they don't need you nobody wants you just stay here there's a reason i'm the way i am but anyway but uh so i just can't and that's why fundraising i've had people when i was running nc that's why they would say to me i really like what you're doing stop by and i'll give you a check i couldn't do it if they take a check and they put it in my hand i'll take it but i but to go and ask people for money it's just the hardest thing in the world regardless when's that sal who i spoke about uh during the first year of the podcast who was nifter um he said to me he said you're going to have to answer in shaman for this because you have the opportunity to give people nitrius by giving stakka to be able to support torah and you're denying them this opportunity and i said you're right i'm not saying i'm not defending it i have a problem i have a problem i have a problem when it comes to asking people for things it's very hard for me yeah so i'm supposed to raise money and every year i would submit a budget and i would show how i was going to raise the money and i never did i never did but it produced so much results they couldn't get rid of me but so one of the fundraisers i made was this thing called loxbox um i uh i would go to elmhurst dairy which was owned by from people they would donate me quarts of milk you know in america you know those cartons you know quartz of milk they're all bags there yeah quarts of milk a pint of orange juice and a uh a bar of cream cheese uh somebody else would donate locks and then i would actually go and buy the bagels and everyone did on the bagels there's six bagels and i found the perfect box that would fit everything perfectly we would arrange it and then we would put like uh some little literature on the top and fold it up made a perfect box and we'd put a sticker on the top you know from long island then csy locks box and people would send this on mother's day as gifts that's what we did it was a fundraiser it no way produced enough money to justify this if i wasn't so um you know psychologically injured i could have just gone over to some guy and asked him for a check and and this wouldn't be necessary but i'm i'm i'm a damaged individual yeah so uh so friday we would collect all the stuff and uh i got special permission from the show of shalom where they gave me office space i just mentioned give a shout out you know when i came to long island ncsy there was nothing there was one member in the region because she was on national board and there was nobody there was no chapters there was no office there was no nothing i started from scratch i had a 250 a month budget for everything and i couldn't afford uh office rental so uh i remember erwin duffler and robert wohlberg from oh shalom they said we'll give you the old shule office and they both came down with some other balabatham they cleaned the whole place out and gave me this office that's why i ran into his wife from long island for nine years uh from that location and um and they gave me special permission to store this uh the materials for the lox box in the flay sugar kitchen because really you're not supposed to put milk in there you know but they said okay we trust you and you can keep the stuff in the fleshy kitchen yeah okay so uh then we bring together a bunch of ncs wires about five o'clock in the morning on sunday and we would all get together assembly line and make the lox boxes and then we had people who would drive them around yeah and uh that was that was a fundraiser anyway one year this wonderful young man wanted to come and help us schlep in the things and i have all the cartons of milk uh on a dolly there must have been four cartons stacked up and he says wait i'll take that for you into the fleischke kitchen and i said be very careful yeah don't worry about it he wheels it in and let's go thinking like i did with the little cup of coke zero that it would stay so the dolly moved to its upright position and kept going and it hit the ground and the cartons exploded all over the place the kitchen i'm out of there over 30 years so if there's anybody in the show and you're still upset at me don't worry about it you never knew because there i am arab shabbos a few hours before shoppers and there's milk all over the kitchen who spilled the milk in the flashing kitchen not me and i looked at my good friend and assistant director joe werfel oh shalom and we look at each other like we got to clean this up what are we gonna do i hope i get home in time for shoppers you know it's uh joe was often put into a position of having to clean up these kind of messes you know i remember when we made our first our second our second regional convention it was in the um shari tefila in lawrence joe was about six five you know a very tall fellow anyway somebody was supposed to pick up the food for the entire convention and bring it from queens to lawrence we were in charitafilo of lawrence and uh he forgot it he forgot it and he shows up and i remember joe he's about six five he sits down on the curb his hands his head in his hands and he's like that's it we're finished we have no food we have to take convention they said joe go now he says memorial day weekend on the van wyck i'll never make it back and have a shower i said joe you gotta go so he goes off in the meantime i'm trying to handle you know crisis over here we had two different buildings i'm down here i'm done you know anyway i come back the youth director who was a very strong fellow because i was probably about twice the size i am now i walk in and the kids are all showing up for their housing assignments and he takes me by the lapels and lifts me in the air and says where's the housing list and i said joe has it [Laughter] well eventually we got the food and everybody found the place to sleep and everything worked out but there i am with the milk all over the floor and there i am with the coke zero of the floor and i thought okay there's a message here who is sending me a message um what what is he trying to tell me and i think he's trying to tell me the following it's nice when everything goes well it's it's it's great it's great but that's not how life works life is messy when i say messy i don't just mean coke zero and milk all over the floor i mean life is messy um relationships are messy when you have parents or you have children or you have neighbors or you have siblings it gets messy if everybody was reasonable which means agree with me then life would be fine but sometimes it gets messy sometimes you forget to take care of something and now you have a problem and now you have to go and deal with that problem and and you know sometimes things just fall apart the nature of life now here's what i don't do what i don't do is sit down right away and beat myself up because that doesn't solve anything all it does is make me feel bad but it doesn't solve the problem if there's a problem to solve i have to sit down and solve the problem if there's no problem to solve then i say okay i made a mistake that's a mistake that you won't make again yeah try to learn from this mistake and that's why i know i have uh quite uh an array of young people um who uh like to listen to my podcast every now and then they write me and ask me for a shout out and i just remember a young lady um who i forgot her first name so i don't want to just say her last name because i don't think that's appropriate or she asked me for a shout out so i'm thinking of you if you know who you are i'll mention it please don't mention your name next week but um you know i have i have elementary school and junior high and high school and seminar in yeshiva people who watch as younger people so you don't have the same um you know the same perspective when you get to be my age yeah and you tell time by decades and you understand i'm a better person now than i was in my 50s or my 40s or my 30s or my 20s and i don't have to be perfect tomorrow i make mistakes i can spend my time regretting those mistakes i could spend the time beating myself up but that doesn't help doesn't make the world a better place does it make me a better person i i like to think of it in these terms um in high school i was taking biology and towards the end of the year i probably had based on assignments and tests an average somewhere in the 30s maybe the 40s but more likely the 30s well that's not a passing grade [Laughter] so my teacher said to me take the regents if you're not from the new york area they have these standardized tests called the regions and whatever mark you get on the biology regions that will be your mark for the year well i got myself all the region's preparation books and i crammed i studied like crazy to this day i still know about malfigian tubules a piece of information that has never helped me as most of the things i learned in high school has never helped me when i was in geometry they teach you proofs so i know three ways to prove that the base angles of an isosceles triangle are congruent a uh isasi triangle means that the two sides are equal the base is not and so the base angles are equal i know three ways to prove it i'm 63 years old never once has anyone ever asked me are the base angles of an isosceles triangle congruent yes but can you prove it yes i can three ways the one that i like to use is the identity postulate which says line a d is equal to line a d because that has got to be the dumbest thing ever i forgot to write it once and i lost points because i have to say something is equal to itself and you have to write it down because these geometry people can't figure it out understand that's what the acon said when he grew up geometry but anyway i worked for all ages but uh okay so i studied and i crammed yeah and i got a 90 on the biology regions that was my mark for the year so um so as i was sitting there taking in the back they have a whole bunch of of regions from past years you take the test i was getting terrible marks but i wasn't upset because this isn't the final test this is just a practice got to get it good so by the time i reached the actual regions i was up to a 90 that was pretty impressive yeah um the uh life is the regions and the final test comes at the end when you get up the shemaine and until then you're practicing to try to get better sheva sadiq atsadik fails that's just reality you're gonna spill the coke zero and then you're gonna have to clean it up you're gonna spill the milk and you're gonna have to clean it up you're gonna make a mess of your life sometimes more serious sometimes less serious and you're going to clean it up and by the end of your life you're going to find that you're a lot better person than you were when you started that doesn't mean the things stop that doesn't mean you won't make mistakes you'll make mistakes you'll do things that are petty and are venal and are are selfish and are mean everybody does not me but i'm talking about you i would i would never do anything like that i have to tell you that's part of the appeal of the raviolowski show okay just just for a moment yeah i used to give a shirt on harnoff every other mutsu shabbos for many many years and more than once somebody said to me you know why i love coming to your shirt because you're so ordinary and i feel like if you can do it anyone can and that's exactly we're all in this together you know yeah you have uh we have a question about this uh in our question answer series i'll go into this a little bit more but uh yeah yeah few and far between are the people who are perfect and um um life is messy and so we're in serious ima where every single day counts and we have to try to put our lives into order and we have to try this is a microcosm of uh of a year all right the gemara says you read the clothes and kisavo before rosh hashanah and you read the clothes in because i before schwes tickles which means that from pesach to us is a year it's it's a it's a microcosm and it's more than that it's a time where we come out of mitzrayim as a cotton and when we stand at our cni we're an adult i have to grow up have to accomplish a lot a small period of time but that's just a small life just an example every single day you're supposed to be going up i may have mentioned this at one point um oh of a yesh right a person who lives their life properly oh of a yesh what's yeah means you have you have you have something you have an existence you have a life of a yeash [Music] so most people explain once he didn't say this this is an al-shakh i'll throw in says it says unto him a person lives 70 years and we see in the torah we don't start counting you until the age of 20 which means a lifetime is 50 years it's a yeah so if you count your years with shimitas and yavlos at the end you reach a point where you're out of this world and that's versus ahmed you count seven days seven times and the fiftieth day schwarz you're out of this world let's have you to live your life we count every day because every day counts huh put that on a bumper sticker but anyway so uh so these are these are important ideas don't lose hope don't beat yourself up when it spills just have to clean it up and start again or at the end of fiddle on the roof rabbi wouldn't this be a good time for the messiah to come yes but until he does we'll just have to wait for him someplace else it would be nice it would be nice if everything went the way that we want but it doesn't all you can do is pick yourself up put one foot in front of the other and keep going once there was a little old ant tried to move a rubber tree plant everyone knows and ant can't move a rub a tree plant but he's got high hopes he's got huh okay you get the idea i haven't sung in a while so i thought that was important okay that's our sphere of message for this uh podcast and now we go to the question and answer portion of our program uh i'll start with this question chris i just alluded to it anonymous asks with all the discussion about requiring kanyevsky's hasmada finishing shots every year etc isn't it discouraging i'm just a normal guy and probably will not finish shas even once in my lifetime how can we normal people hear such goodolum stories and not be discouraged first of all you can finish us you just have to join the raviolovsky taffyomi program that's my advice you don't have to there are people online who give you that daf yomishi for free and uh some of them will even send you a free gemara and you'll have a big party you know and uh and uh it comes with all kinds of you know uh you know treats i don't give you any treats i'm the treat [Laughter] but you can do it one page at a time so uh yeah you can finish shas but forget about that doesn't make a difference let's say you you haven't got the uh such a great word i feel so youtube you haven't got the hairless to to get through shots yeah trust me i'm doing you vomits right now so how do you hear about kanyevsky and not feel discouraged the answer is because let me tell you a story i may have told this story my rariolonsky show hasidim will tell you whether i've ever told this story it's a famous story with the native i heard this when i was in khabib sky my first year from my shirt they say that native uh wasn't particularly gifted and he overheard his parents saying we can't really afford to keep hanging a malamate for a kid who's never really going to make it in learning and he heard this and he pushed himself very hard to be able to uh succeed and he became the native and he said once what would have happened if i didn't push myself so hard so i would have gotten up into shamayim and they would say so what'd you do with your life and he says well i i was a shoemaker and i ran my business with honesty and i raised my children to be from jews and i you know i loved the good life and they would look at me and say where's all the sparrow you were supposed to have written you should have been the native and i have to tell you for years i would see robert shade going you should have been the naziv and at some point in my life i realized no i should not be the native [Laughter] i will never be in a tip now i'm not as uh i'm not as sharp i'm not as harif as uh the the the brisker of uh um yeshua where he told this story and he says there are certain people going to get up to shamayim and hashem's going to say you know look at all this farm you wrote where the shoes why didn't you make shoes [Laughter] okay so you got to know and i have to tell you how many people i've met who were traumatized from that story and i said to them no you're not the native i don't have to be the native i don't have to be rich i'm kanyevsky but i have to look at him and say on my level i have to try to achieve as much as i can like he worked to achieve what he could now if my dad was the stipler instead of a florist if i grew up in bernay brock instead of north merrick long island you know then maybe i might have turned out a little better if i had you know uh at least a normal head instead of a collection of learning disabilities maybe i would have done better but even then there's only so much that anyone could have expected for me yeah that's why one of my rebellion once told one of the people i was working for i'm surprised he ever amounted to anything i don't have to be reclaimed cutting ascii but i look at from kai and kanefsky and i say of a yash that's a person who has a meaningful life i could have a meaningful life and that's what i have to shoot for anonymous asks why can't women be halal witnesses so the short answer is god said so okay everything else is speculation whereas we say in hebrews speculation getting easier for me to speak hebrew speculation yeah we don't know hashem said so that's the answer this much i can tell you it has nothing to do with nehemiah's has nothing to do with running out you're believed this is rebel khannan wasman's famous khakira there's two reasons why people can't be adam either because they're not trustworthy or because they're um they don't have a ticket to based in that's the way all my ruben was used to explain the rebel conan they don't have a ticket to get the bastion moshe and our own are very trustworthy but they cannot come and give aid this together because they're relatives and they don't have a ticket together based in so they can't give adus and so to a woman can't give adus that's the that's the correct answer but if you want to speculate and i like to speculate you know i like to try to make things meaningful for me i say the following all of torah is about a conflict of values and that's why very often the gemara will create a scenario where two values come into conflict for you to try to decide which one is more important in that situation what's more important to see or to hear i could make a good argument for either one i think it was uh evan custer i'm not sure but he says to him because how would you like to die old age but there's another scene where he goes i want to be hanged when that tree was like little tiny tree goes that'll take years it goes i'll wait [Laughter] would you rather be deaf or blind so you say well what does it make which was almond had to have a procedure there were two different procedures one had the risk of him going deaf and one had the risk of him going blind now you got to choose so the gemara creates conflict so testifying is a very important value in fact if you know adus and you don't give it there's a special corbin you have to bring that's how serious it is if you didn't testify but the king does not testify even if he's the only witness why because it's not lafique photo it's not it's not considered covered for the king to go into court and testify yeah so that being the case um you see that giving testimony is a value but it's not the most important value some values are more important i've spoken to girls who went to co-ed schools and sometimes they had to give a presentation in front of the class and i said junior high high school whatever it was i said did you sense the boys looking at you as you were speaking they said yes said how did that make you feel not good so to make women stand up in a public forum when we say coke vudubas malespinima that's a more important value not to devalue somebody by dragging them into a courtroom now that's my own theory i haven't seen it in any place but to me it makes sense so if you like it good and if not make up something else i don't really care okay uh we have time for one more anonymous asks could you please say the story about how your brother burnt down the kitchen this is a perfect example what i said at the beginning how people are intimately involved in my life i don't know when i told the story or what form it was but i'm more than happy to share it with you yeah um i got from a 12. and uh and my parents sacrificed to send me to a jewish day school they did not have the money they'd gone bankrupt it was a very hard sacrifice for them and uh and it was pretty good because i i totally ignored everything that was going on until uh eighth grade and so i didn't have a problem i i we never had any conflict [Laughter] in fact ironically in seventh grade i wanted to leave yeshiva and go to public school and my father convinced me to stay in yeshiva anyway then i became from and i was what is known as an fbt so most people know bt is about shuva and ffb is from from birth yeah an fbt is a flaming beljuva you carry around the spear looking for someone to stick it in i was i was real intense anyway my parents kept the kosher home because my grandfather who was kosher said he would not eat in my parents house unless it was kosher but they kept what they know like my father would say to me if it says 100 vegetable shortening then it's fine and i didn't know then that you could say 100 vegetable shortening and include four percent of non-vegetable shortening now if you know you're that means it's not bottled shisha so i slowly had to make changes in the house and we fought about everything to put in a shabbos urn was a big fight because it says why what's the problem we had an instant hot water you know every time you turn on a force it's somewhere there's a pump that's going on there's something that's happening i don't understand there's not what the big deal is i had to fight about that i had to fight about the light and the fan and the refrigerator the tape up the uh you're gonna burn out the motor you know a black you're gonna burn down that i mean every we had to fight about everything and listen there were certain problems that were sort of inherent that i just i i could not solve so i had a girl in my class who uh who lost her father i live if you know long island i live in north america she lived in levittown that's pretty far i had a bicycle and i would i could ride pretty far my bicycle this was four or five miles and uh i headed out one night and uh went to page of a cool unbeknownst to me my brother who stayed home does not know how to cook i knew how to cook all the brothers used to go into the store with my father i did too and at some point he said to me do me a favor stay home and help your mother instead i evidently was not cut out for business to this day i find business absolutely fascinating but i can't figure out what it means or how to do i don't have a head for business but i know how to cook i know what to clean i know how to shop my my bicycle i had a big basket on the front business on the side i would do the shopping eventually i reached the level of my brother gadalia yeah not quite you know because i i figured out how to pull a shopping cart filled with groceries behind me on the bicycle i say not not my brother could die he's level he could do two shopping carts and just steer with his feet i wasn't on that madrega it's cottonwood darus but i could bring back uh i know how to do all those kind of things my brother didn't so he wanted to make blintzes so what do you need you need oil so he takes a frying pan fills it up with oil and he turns it on high and he goes to watch the basketball game and at some point he sees that the house is filling with smoke and he goes into the kitchen and he sees this bubbling oil all over the place and he did what most people would when they see a fire he threw water on it that doesn't go well with boiling oil and the boiling oil flew all over the place and the whole kitchen went up in place and uh eventually i come home and i come into the house and the whole kitchen is burnt down he's on a ladder trying to wipe the soot off of the ceiling and my mother looks at me and she thought i was behind this now i'm smart but i'm just not that good i mean i just i i i don't have those kind of plans you know and she looks at me she was trying to figure out how i was responsible for this and she said why weren't you here i said i went to pay a shiver call to a girl in my class she lost her father you know she was in uh 10th grade ninth grade you know i thought it was appropriate you know she goes well now a whole kitchen burnt down so i said you know if we're going to redo the kitchen already i have some suggestions [Laughter] now if you know anything about cashews that's what we call liben gumbo [Laughter] you've heard of self-cleaning ovens this was called the self-cleaning kitchen [Laughter] and we replaced it and they put in two dishwashers they put in two sinks and we solved all of the problems and uh to this day it was mama caste hashem and i cannot take credit for it but uh but always looking out for us i assume that was the message of the story all right that's it for this week don't forget the live show in flatbush on may 17th if you want to find out more about the show you can go to my website rabrialovsky.com you can leave a comment you can send an email you could uh sign up for the new tv series you can sign up for daf yaomi you can sign up for one of the two messily's ashore and we do online uh you can sponsor an episode you can have it your way that's it for this week i'm debbie dolowski and this is the rapper alofsky show