What Is The Boundary Between Excess Gashmiyos And Essential Gashmiyos?

Hi, this is David Alowski with that question and answer series where in a few minutes we try to answer listeners questions. What is the boundary between excess gashmas and essential gashmas and how can I find it? It's a very good question and understand it does not have one answer because it depends very much on a person. Yeah. The gumarus talks about an uni benuim. I came from a wealthy family and I'm used to eating on a particular rama and if I don't eat on that rama, it's going to be very hard for me. Now, your parents brought you up poorly. Parents brought you up to have higher expectations. If your parents brought you up very simply, then you wouldn't need these things. But you grew up in a wealthy family. Then your family lost your money and this is what you're used to. So the Gar says the is that when you give out stuck you give people not the bare essentials but what they're used to. It tells a story of this fellow who grew up rich and he lost his money and he comes to one of the Amarayim and he says me rebi support me. He says well what are you used to having? Says old wine and fatted fowl. Says well I'm having lentils and I'm drinking water. If you want you can join me. He's like I guess I have nothing else to eat. He ate it and he died. System couldn't tolerate it. So it's a neb if you've created yourself that you become dependent on this but lisa you need it my father made an observation you know during the week people don't eat that much we travel around we do different things you know [laughter] grab a cup of coffee get a sandwich but he would go away to a hotel in the summer and you eat three meals a day and that's mostly what you do in a Jewish resort you eat you eat you E, you eat a tremendous amount of food. He says, "So, we had breakfast and then we packed up and we get on the road and uh lunchtime, I'm famished. I'm starving and I'm not used to that." But when you get yourself used to a particular lifestyle, it's hard to go back. There's something in America called the Monday morning blues. Where does it come from? It comes from the fact that there's a weekend. Yeah. Saturday and Sunday and people eat to excess and people stay up too late and people wake up late and it throws off their whole system and now comes Monday, you have to go back to a normal system and you're not used to it. It's very hard for you. So what a person needs and it was very interesting David Gotautly pointed out that there was this fellow who was rich and uh he lost his money and Hill would get him every day a horse to ride and a slave to run in front of the horse to clear the path. And one time he couldn't find he didn't have the money to hire somebody. So he ran in front of the horse himself, Hill the Nussi. So he said, "You don't need somebody to run in front of your horse. That's a cover." And Gutle said, "You see from this that a psychological need is a need. I feel like I need it. It's not absolute terms." Yeah. And that's why the masil in period giml when he describes precious he says bad precious means denying yourself things that you need whatever they may be even if they're just even it's just a psychological need but be real. So there are things in our life that are definitely excess that we don't need but there are things that we get used to. Now, it would be smart living to wean yourself off of those things and make your life easier for yourself because as the Mild Shasham writes, to maintain a lifestyle with all these fancy things, you know, when you're used to drinking $200 bottles of wine Friday night and a few of them, uh, when you have to go back to the Ketum Kdish wine, which frankly the Ketum grape juice has more alcohol than that does, you know, it's going to be very hard for you cuz you're not used to it. If you're used to eating, you know, fine cuts of meat and then you have to switch to a cheaper one, it's going to be very difficult for you. You're not used to it. And so uh it's smart for you to limit the goshmas but the amount of gashmas that you need physically and psychologically that's called how much goshmas you need. But if you can wean yourself off of it the more you can wean it off of yourself the better it's going to be for you in the long run. This is Davidski with our question and answer