Vayishlach - Speak Wisely | Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky

hi this is dski welcome to the paraa in five wherein we give you a little five minute insight into the par par absolutely fascinating you have the story over here of where Dena is kidnapped and uh Shor they won't give him back and so shim and Ley come they come up with a plot they say well okay you can keep her but everyone in your little feom over here your city your kingdom whatever it was your city state everyone's going to have to get a briser thinking to themselves what kind of a crazy people would everybody agree to uh get a bris MAA uh at their age it could be a serious thing for what just to be able to allow some guy to keep a kidnapped little girl and so they say listen you know give us back our daughter or everyone get a Brisa thinking they would say well we can't get everyone to do bis you know good then give us our our sister and we will go so he calls together the people and they're like yeah sure no problem so they said wow these people are crazy now they had the op they could have wait till they all got a bris and they were all lying in bed week and then they could have just gone in and taken Dina and left but instead they decided that these people were so bad right the ramb would seem to indicate that one of the CH mitz Noah is to set up courts of Law and since they did not prosecute for what they did they deserved to die because the only punishment for the sh mitz they know his death and they violated one of those seven until they were right to go in and kill him and after they wiped out everybody and they took their sister and they left yakob said what did you do we're still a small band we're a small group and all of the surrounding cities are going to see what you did and decide that we now pose an existentialistic threat to them and everyone's going to come and attack us and we don't have the ability to defend us and shim and Ley look at their father Yakov Yakov who fought with a Malik Yakov who who was so incredibly powerful yakob whose image is carved in the side of the K covero and said what we should let our sister be treated like AA like a harlot yob says nothing yob says nothing until he's on his deathbed he said shim Le remember that conversation we were having yeah God should curse your anger because in your anger you've done a lot of Destruction and you better get yourself an anger management course because you guys are out of control and the sooner you get a hold on this the better off you're going to be that was the message that Yakov told him at the end but why did he wait decades to tell it to them because he was a master of understanding parenting and one of the things of being a parent is you know you don't have to say everything at the moment they did a study and they found that the majority of things that parents tell their children are negative yeah I think it's something like 90% 90% of what parents say in negative and you just can't spend every day representing your children for everything you have to pick your battles and yaku was was able to see at this point from the way they were talking to him that they were not ready to hear what he had to say and so he decided to wait till the end of his life to be able to conclude that conversation and so to all of us have to have enough wisdom to know when to say something and when not to say something to know when you have someone who's going to listen and when someone is not going to listen and so it's that wisdom and that Insight that a person needs when you're dealing with with children talim friends neighbors you don't have to say everything I don't know who said it originally but it's an old expression everything that not everything that's thought should be said not everything that's said should be written not everything that's written should be published you know and uh and suddenly things come back to you and you realize well I really should have waited before I said that so let us be careful in our dealings with people and make sure that we deal with them in the best possible way chavas