The Power of Elul (Ep. 295)

Hi, this is David Alowski and welcome to the Rabowski show. [Music] Thank you for that half-hearted applause. And whether you're watching with our friends over at Tory Time who are of course our producers, wherever you watch or listen to your podcasts, as always, it is a pleasure to have you back for the experience. And we have a sponsor for this week's uh show sponsored by Yol who is a good friend and uh his dad's a good friend and he's in our and um and he's sponsored more than one episode. So I want to read you this beautiful uh this beautiful dedication my beloved as a that's his wife in honor of our 19th anniversary hashem of I thank Hashem every single day for sending her to me as the perfect match for me in this unpredictable world and all the endless undeserved brah we have been zo to experience together. Isn't that beautiful? So, uh I I think I think the message is clear and that any husband who does not sponsor an episode for their wife, you got Lucy, you got some explaining to do. So, I just put it right out there. So, I hope that he has ruined it for everybody else out there. So, anyway, we are going to be standing by to see those uh those sponsorships pouring in because we don't have too many left and we would like to keep the show going. So, hope to see everybody uh uh thank their wife or their husband, you know, or their children or their or their in-laws or their parents or neighbor or, you know, uh their barber. I don't really care, but just give us the money. And with that subtle introduction, I want to tell you that uh I I was just um saying that in the past month I have met a dozen people who are such afficionados of the show that they have watched every show multiple times and they have committed to memory everything I have ever said. Now, considering that this show is now in coming to the end of its sixth year, it's over 200 hours of Rabbi Olowski and uh I can barely listen to myself for 200 hours. Well, that's not really true. I can, but the dedication is just absolutely tremendous. So, I'm going to make a statement and it could be that I'm wrong and I'm sure my fact checkers out there will correct me if I did get it wrong. We very seldom have a guest on the show more than once. Um, my son Yakov of course has been here multiple times. My son uh Moshi Huda has been here for two musical episodes with uh uh the boys from Waterberry uh for a musical tribute. Um Ari Goldwag has been on the show twice. My son Schlommo had his own episode and he also joined with Yakov on a PUM episode during uh CO and um it was a little sick so it fit in with the theme. Anyway, but this is I'm breaking with tradition and I'm having my good friend Rabbi Zave Redd back on the show and I'll explain to you why uh in a minute. But first, Rabbi Redmond, welcome back to the Rebels. >> Thank you, Reverski. just to show how much people actually study your show. I was on a plane back from America recently and I asked someone about my and he said I said to him, "What's your name?" He said, "Well, my name is this, but I know your name." I said, "Where do you know me from?" He said, "Well, I watched the Rabbi Olowski show when you were on it and I recognize you from the Rabbi Olowski show." It's amazing. I can't tell you how many people are listening and watching the show and and um or dialing up to hear the show or whatever it is. the uh the response when I go around is just tremendous. I was just in England. I can't believe how many people will listen to the show in England and uh it's >> especially since it's a different >> it goes it goes in it goes on the left side of the the street instead of the right side. So, but that's okay because you just you know have to reposition anyway. >> So, uh I have Ruby Red Roman here for a very specific reason. But I want to follow up on the last time Ry Redmond was here. The last time Mary Rebn was here, we spoke about his book and Hashem remembered them which is an adaptation. It's more than a translation. It's an adaptation of Sodic's uh safer pokear about uh various women in Tanakh who were childless. And um uh I mentioned this right at the beginning because Redmond is about to uh embark on a very interesting project that some people might be interested in. So I want you to talk about that first before we get down to what I'm what I want to talk about if you give me the option. Um there were I was watching one of the I was actually not watching I was reading about one of the tishima videos and one of the organizations was making a video about going to dab at the kavarim of different gdollim who did not have children. I thought to myself, that's such a beautiful idea. And then I said, wait a minute. There's a kazal. I wrote a book about it. And there's a kazal that says there were six women who did not have children. S Rifka Rael, the mother of Shimshon, okay, the mother of Shel and the Namis. I said it's a straight line. We could make a trip. We could d in Nates in by the mar by Sarif. Then go to kev ra then go to so much shim shong right which is in America right it's next to chesh and um but I don't know either shimon's kever is there I think his mother's ke might be there also I'm not sure but definitely shimon's kev is that it's there then keep on going and either go to kevula right outside above you above ramote or even go to sheila where kana actually din and then just keep on going a little bit further north near aula to the village of shunam where there's miser and his rabbit would send people down at the house of a day not a day starting along the way of these people who do who are answered >> an amazing idea when are you planning on doing this >> I'd like to do it if I can work it out either before or after sukus this year if I can organize it if people are you know if people are interested to do it in a way that's mubad and appropriate Hawaii goal would be to do Nates and then go through the day doining like that. We'll see how it works out, but that would be my goal. That's how I'd like to be able to try to do it. I I think I know there are a lot of people who are either wrestling with childlessness or who have children or family members who are wrestling with childlessness to whom this would be particularly meaningful. And I guess the first question that everyone's going to ask is uh is there going to be lunch? >> Yes. >> Okay, that's all. That's all that said. I imagine that's the most important question. >> Snacks. >> Yes. But again, as you said, people it's a it's an issue that people wrestle with, families wrestle with. And >> listen, my my mother sham she would come to and even when she was very ill, like she she she was in a wheelchair, but she would always insist on going to a muka to be able to davin for any of the grandchildren who still had to get married. and uh you know she knew that that was very important to them and so certainly to be able to have children she used to tell me you know I'm ding for this one I'm ding for that one that they should be zas so a trip like this would be very very very special how would they contact you if people are interested >> how would they contact me can I open up my computer I mean I actually made a there's actually a form online that has its own little afterward that has its own little email address for it okay which you can contact which is rman.short.gy back/tulform t i y l fo rm in one word or you can just email me directly at zdman z a v r u d m- agmail.com. So, Belina, we'll put this up on the screen there so that uh it'll be available for you for those of you who uh may have difficulty with your attention and uh you might tend to forget things because if that case you um >> what were you about to say? >> I can't remember for the life of me. Anyway, but uh so I wanted to get that in which you mentioned that project to me. But um but that's not the reason that I really invited you on to the show. Um, I'll tell you why. We're filming this in Roshesh El. There's better than even odds that for those of you in America, this will still come out in Roesesh El because I have to say uh that our producers over at any time have an unbelievable uh ability to get the podcast out in record time. So, it might even come out still if not it'll come out on the second day uh I imagine. And uh I before I spoke to you uh I had already decided that I wanted to make a podcast about Elo. And I'll tell you what specifically. Everybody knows Lul. Yeah. Revit uh Foyer who was of GI's daughter told me she says they used to say in tells the leaves on the trees would shake when it comes to ele. Yeah. Now for a lot of us we have no idea what that means. Don't know what it means. Yeah. A lot of these things are amorphous. And so if you say to people what's the aod of do chuva and what's the a of the muva do chuva. And what's the aod of yipra? Do chuva. And you may do chuva. And it's also yan do chuva. and sukus chuva and and hasha do chuva you know and uh and do chuva you know the three weeks do chuva do so okay but you know if you're like me and you did chuva early so you're already perfect there's nothing else for you to do right so you come into l and you have to figure what am I going to do to make l meaningful and I said there's two actual things that take place one is more for men who go to Shaw and that is of course they blow the chauffeur. And the second one is even for women who are careful to daven um shak and orus shak and they say the kapi. And I was getting ready to speak about the significance of Hashem Ori when I happened to give my good friend Reman a call and he told me about the Leav Hashem oi project. Now before he speaks about that, he told me that he actually has a um I guess I would call this not so much a book as much that's going to be >> 100 page book it comes out. >> It's a book. This is this is the pre publication issue. >> It's going to be in the actual book. >> It's 100 page book on Amazon. >> You can get it on Amazon. It's awakening the heart lm kipper and I'll let you talk about it. >> Okay. >> So I lost and I think alike in some ways and um which is very dangerous when we get together and this is for many years people come to rash come to and they're not really sure what it is that they're supposed to do. So they come to shu they know they're supposed to d right they know they're supposed to d they're supposed to listen to kia chauffeur. So one year I sat down and I said well what are we actually supposed to think about while we're blowing chauffeur and I sat down and went through different spar and wrote a whole list of things that you're supposed to think about during kchauffer and >> you point out that redman is about toa so when he tells you this it's uh >> well when you're actually about to ka you're not thinking about much else other than actually getting the sounds out right you told me but okay but anything you want to think about you think about beforehand but this also is well what are we supposed to be thinking about you know and why are we blowing a keigodola and where does the mother of sister come into this whole story that we blow coloss because of her, >> right? >> So, I made an 8x4, you know, guide what you're supposed to be thinking about as you're blowing chauffeur, which went over very well. It has thousands of downloads online. And um there were two versions of it because our mutual dear friend Rabbi Niss said, "This is way too complicated for most people." And he helped me make in a way that for most people. So, there were two versions. There's one version, the other version. Actually was featured in Mishbah magazine one year before. And then I said, "Wait a minute, but there's so many other things. There's and there's there's like why are we going to the fish with our a >> and I sat down and I said let's start from all the different hug and all the different things that we do not just what we do not the but why are we doing them how are we supposed to approach them what am I supposed to walk away from with these things I started writing and writing and writing and over the past number of years I've taught them to different students in different se in different seminaries and the result is this this book booklet of over 100 pages of all the different things starting from leav and kia chauffeur all the way through till building your suk mukus what am I supposed to actually be thinking about and that's what this is about >> so this is a mustave >> as far as I'm concerned for anybody who is like me and just has this vague idea of duchuva as opposed to practical insights and steps that and that's really what it is in this dor you know people I I I remember reading a story in the Hamadia many years ago that made a deep impression on me. It was written by a girl who went to seminary and she was now the year after seminary and she had a regular job. Yeah. Job. She was going to school, you know, and she was going into rash and she says, "How am I going to go into rash?" When I was in seminary, we did, you know, and we did it and we, you know, did we were prepared. We should understood. I haven't had time to prepare. How am I supposed to, you know, say and I go into sh and I see these alabas with their old mur and they start deting and they start crying. I said mama, they never saw and they never saw a they have it on a basic level. But we don't I mean that's that's one of the things that's been lost. That's why you know when you mentioned about the video on tishab I just did talked about this how tishab has become yumha video you know and people watch videos just to get through the day because you know they they don't know how to relate to it on any level you know and and there was a time I still remember as a kid that you'd see people saying the kinas and crying you know you don't really see that so much anymore today but um uh unless their feet fell asleep then you know you understand it's it is painful it is painful But uh people don't know what to do. So they need they need help on the basics, you know. >> Yeah. I actually one of this one of these ideas started in a very interesting place before CO you know there's BC and AC before CO after CO. So before CO we my wife and I saw an advertisement once that they're looking for people to go to Kibutin that are not yet religious. Right. >> Right. To go help make a minion there. We said you know what our kids are all out of the house. Their sons are in yeshiva. The kids are married. we have no reason to stay here. Let's go. So we went we went to kibbutz I forget the name of the kibbut somewhere near raat shiron a very wealthy kibbutz and there was actually we came with entire minion and people came over whole yum kipper and for some I was the oldest we were like out of everyone else there was much younger they the of the people who came they said you know why don't you speak I said well I'm not really prepared they said okay speak anyways so I they said speak about kud tell people what kudra is so it hit me as I was standing there you know what kudra is kudra is we know our vows Right? >> But what does that mean to the people here? And on the spot, it hit me. You know what? We all have vows. We all have >> promises we made ourselves. I will never do this. I won't change. I There was a guy in Yeshiva that we taught who signed a promise to his friends that he wasn't going to change. >> You know, and what we're mater when yipper starts is you know what? I'm allowing yipper to go with me. I'm allowed it to flow. And wherever leads me, that's where I'm going to go. I'm not held back by my promises. Also to me that's what we're doing when we say kidre. >> How'd it go over? >> It went over very well. >> Yeah. >> How many pe how many people think came? >> Um for kidre 20 or so people came. By the time we got to it was full. >> Unbelievable. >> People were bringing their children little children saying with their you know not being shar with their phones sticking out of their pockets but bring their children. This is what we do in that's a safer Torah. It's really unbelievable. It's re rearan's organization. Um Shakar it's really unbelievable to see such a thing. I mean >> okay the early Zionists I forget who it was but he said we thought we were going to raise a generation of Apikim but instead we raised a generation of Amaratim. Yeah. >> You know, so Mosha Dian, he didn't care about religion, one or the other. But he came from any religious kabutz. His father on Pesak used to hang a loaf of bread outside the front door like and the later ones didn't have any laakas. They're just nothing, you know. >> But but this book arose from those ideas. What are we supposed to walk away from the different parts you kipper with? >> Right. >> And that's what tried to give over to people. >> Amazing. So this is this is a must. How how would somebody get this? Is it going to be in farm stores? >> It's not going to be in farm stores. Farm stores don't like things that are pamphlets and they don't like things that are seasonal cuz then they have to return it to you afterwards, right? >> So, if you want to get it in America, you can just order from Amazon. It comes the next day. If you want to get an art, once again, be in touch with me. I'm going to try to organize that people will be able to get it. >> The same address, >> the same address I said before. Okay. >> Z- ru- angmail.com. >> Right. So all of this was by way of introduction to what I really wanted you to talk about which is this leaves oi project and it happens to be that what you told me was exactly what I wanted to do this week I was going to do it myself but since I don't know what I'm talking about and I would be bluffing I figured since you actually know what you're talking about why don't I have you talk about it. So let's speak about the leav conundrum. >> What's a conundrum? It's uh it's like absolve. What is it? What' you say? A null. >> A null. >> It's like a null. >> Yeah. >> It's like the guy says he goes, "I know judo, karate, jiu-jitsu, and three other Japanese words." Anyway, so go ahead. >> So if you ask most people why we say lav. So you'll get probably one of the following three answers. Either they'll quote you the medish that says or isashana and is yum kipper. Not a not a smallish with a nice swimming pool outside of Bamesh, right? Um or they'll say that has to do with Right. All they say and Lle is Oios, right? Backwards. Yeah. It's a >> it's a Yeah. >> Yeah. Invos of also backwards. Right. Right. Right. Right. >> So the So that's that's what they'll tell you. Okay. But again, what am I supposed to walk away with this from? >> Right. So now I'm saying it for um uh 54 days. >> 51 days. 51 days, >> right? 51 days and through. So it's for 51 days we're saying and light Yeshua suka you know lle backwards you know how am I supposed to >> by the way also it's brought down the um says oh >> isimulu >> and it's so that's you got so you got that now we're all well done. We all know what we're saying, right? So that's all good. That's all tremendous. >> There was one year during l I was at someone's house for shabas and he says to me, "How come in at the end it says and you brought on me?" Ask most people to translate. >> Yeah. >> Okay. Translate. >> Uh uh they have created your anger. something like that or false witnesses and is actually tied also to the word of speech from the word right breathe those who also speak you know speak evil against me right >> right >> so you in in the obviously that's talking about in his life how people always spoke against but what does that have to do with me >> right >> so what the guy asked me was they're not a we're guilty >> okay >> why do you call me the sheer. So I gave whatever answer I gave but it it was interesting that there are people who are able to find insight in a hashem akashi has been put to music almost as many times as an imam you know in various manifestations you know and we say that pic so everybody knows that pic everyone knows you know the rainy hashem at the end you know they might remember the song you hain a hashem How many how many versions of cave do you know? Remember the original rabbi sons cave that was Mosha's theme song. Yeah, had the pakor ironically but uh Jay used to sing kav that was his uh that was his solo but um uh yeah so but okay but these are bits and pieces so it means that every day when I say twice a day so if we want to be fair it's over a hundred times now we're saying and people are as we mentioned And it would be enough once upon a time that I just say the words even though I don't understand shot I don't understand this I just know that this is something meaningful you know I remember as a kid on rashim kipper at the end of my room when they would say leav mismar by pik very dramatic >> today what's it got to do with me >> that's also in this book why we say right and why we say seven times. >> Yeah. So the only reason that people find it meaningful is because they told you that it's a foro. So then >> that works for sure. That always works. >> And uh my foyer once told me he says whenever I wanted people to do things I would always find mccor that it was a a school for parnos that I could get them to do. >> Have you ever tried that for me? People giving me micer for sucker. >> Yeah sure. Give double. Give double. you know that's that's what you really do but um okay so uh so you've had the same question that I had and what is this project what did you set off to do >> so I set off to sit down and learn through ludav in a way that it is relevant to l and figure out something about each pusk or more than one thing about each pusk that's in some way going to be relevant to ll and being as we're in the modern world at least to start a WhatsApp group for the people who want to be able to see it and you know get it it's not yet a But just at least people >> the WhatsApp group is >> the WhatsApp group is I'll give you the uh I have a short group thing for that also. I'll give you an it's the same shortened um um what rdman.short.gy/lud but I'll just say as an example you asked about just before I came right before I came I was writing about that because we're already up to that's towards the end of the uh the end of >> how many days will this take us through? Well, right now >> is mushkish. Right now I'm up to I'm up togiml. I have one extra one, but I've just been working on mufar. I haven't started working on the mus farm yet. >> So I figure I'll be able to get through at least till kipper and we'll see if we make it all the way through till >> amazing project. Um but are you putting up all of them at once or only one a day? >> No, one a day. An idea a day. An idea a day. Okay. I'm not sending out the whole pamphlet to anybody also till it's finished, you know. Even then I won't. Then we'll see. But um actually where this actually starts, >> you know, remember the the stipler when you wanted to get a a kilos, >> right? When the stip >> he would just say to you, what maka are you learning? And he would only sell you that maka. He would not sell you a set. >> I don't sell for bookcases. I don't sell for bookshelves. >> What are you learning? I'll sell you that. >> Right. Yeah. Except blaster came in one volume for some reason. So then you got two for one. >> You rip it in half. Come back. >> Come back. You get the other half later. Yeah. But um yeah, now you can buy it. Now it's online so you don't hear. >> Yeah. But you know, but but it was an amazing concept because I forgot who it was. Uh there was some university where this kid was coming to check out and he says, "How many books are in your libraries? I don't remember exactly this how the story goes at the time, but it was something like we have 50,000 volumes." He goes, "What?" He says, "Harvard has a 100,000." And the dean says, "Finish those. We'll get you more." So I guess if you if you you know you we both taught in in the same Shiva once upon a time and uh I gave I gave the bottom shoe you gave the top shoe but I gave the second the bottom shoe but um um you you had this phenomena where you'd give out the marakomas and a kid would come back 10 minutes later and says okay I finished you finished says yeah he says you know the typhus he says yeah he says what's his kash I I I don't I'm not saying I know every word. Okay. Do you know the terret? Goes, "Well, if I don't know the gosh, I don't know the ter. So, go look at it again. I'm bored." You know what I'm saying? So, people uh you know, they they they're always looking for the next thing. You know, when I was a kid, I'm sure you remember this, you could go to certain shs and on they would sing um uh Yeshua's Jacob for 40 minutes straight. >> Mhm. >> And it was no problem. You go to by the way sing. >> Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I was in yeshiva anyway. But uh that's the second reference you've made to me. So I see that after you wrote your parish on the spas they got you anyway but um >> yeah type of sodic you know and yeah for those who don't know Rman also wrote a parish on the spas today you go to a kasa they can't sing a song for more than three minutes nobody has nobody has any patience for it they can't they can't build it up you know and uh and you you miss the beauty of it I told a story I you know Rabbi Nissle wrote a book about my Shapiro so I told story that I had heard that one poor member of Gshinfeld asked him how'd you become of Mishapiro you know the story >> no >> so this poor get away with it you know he says well you got into trouble once >> did something he said to me do you know what it means to go over the boundary I said well now I do says you know what a boundary is you know what it is to go over the boundary so We get away almost anything on sperm but uh and I didn't think it was so bad but anyway but uh but obviously that's why I I I don't I don't have sperm in a thousand tidum but anyway but um so he asked for him so he said I'll tell you he says when I was a kid in Panovich there was a blackout and so you couldn't learn so I went outside to play I have no idea what that even means you know he was outside to play with his friends you know he says and then we hear there's someone still in the base maj I overhear it and it's from and he's saying over Kazal and he says it again and he says it again he says after 20 times I started to wonder after 30 times we started to giggle after 40 times I got afraid and after 50 times I had tears coming down my face because at that moment I realized the power of a kazal if you take the time to look get it. So, when you live in a generation where no one has any attention span and nobody's interested, you know, I don't know if you know from this. I don't you know, people have been asking me to do shorts um and to put them up on Tik Tok and on Instagram and and and uh YouTube shorts, right? I've never been on Tik Tok. I I've never been on Instagram. I don't know what these things are. And the person who was telling me to do this says, "Don't ever find out because it just takes over your life. You just sit there on Instagram and you just keep, you know, scrolling and scrolling and you can't get out. There's no way to break the spell. >> The joke is till you find yourself learning how to speak to a giraffe in your native language, >> you know, it just keeps going. So, uh, because there's no attention span to to be able to take that ability. So, I think it's galdic that you only give one thing a day for people to be able to focus on and uh and and to be able to say that over and over again. I heard from Rabbi Nissle who said he heard from Vulba who heard from his rebi rebuim who heard from the altar how >> of >> yeah the altar of Sabatka >> the way I heard it >> the alt ofka >> that's how I heard it how salant used to learn mus you heard this >> no >> he but my gosh two things I've told you that you don't know I'm really shocked anyway so he says he would take a piece And he would learn it like he would learn a sug. And so that you appreciate this from once said there's only two people in our door who know how to learn the the salant and one of them pretends he doesn't know. He says he would learn it and learn it up like a sug learn it until he felt he really had shot and then he would say it over and over and over again until the tears would flow. And so we get bored. I heard that already, you know, say something else, you know, come up with something new, you know, anotherish, you know. And that's why says, I didn't write this to teach. I wrote the safer to remind you of what you already know because the most important things we have to them over and over again because we tend to forget them. >> So uh so that's why it's one a day. >> One a day. >> All right. So let start us off. Why do we say today? >> See I didn't even do that. I have a whole another set of why we say for example don't say when did start being said. >> Yeah. When did start was said but it seemed by Yeah. >> Well said. Yes. I got you. I knew that one. >> That's right. But he I don't know if he said it in but only was instituted by the of the >> Oh, so it's relatively new. >> It's relatively new. Many doesn't didn't say it. Don't say it. >> I don't say after things. >> Yeah. Don't say it. >> I mean, for example, they don't say at least. >> Wow. Um certain don't say it if there are any they don't say it. >> I have a big following in so >> yeah so you should be aware of that. Yeah. Um and like I said don't say it. Okay. Maybe those >> I'm kind of surprised because they adopted a lot of things from the it's not in the actual himself. In other words the co it's not in there. It's not brought down in there. >> I think son if not sans I'm not sure. I think sans also doesn't say it. So it's actually and it only appears in Sudurum in the 1700s but I'm not even going into all of that. >> Now how come this says it a different time? >> I have no I've been thinking about that. I don't have an answer why the difference between I have no idea. I don't know. I haven't f found an explanation with that yet. But not to take away from that the idea I was I was thinking about this is the first or I'll write about or about said wait a minute >> what does say about >> teaches us just the first word I want to connect it's I want to do I want to connect right that was David Melik's life was doing chuba Davidik there were actually two kazal we all know David lived for 70 years >> right 70 years because other gave him 70 years or the other reason is there's that brings in his pilim that if you add up the years less than 180 between yakov and yose you also get to 70 so says the why are there two relations >> from >> if a lived five >> Abraham Um, Yeetszk lived 180 years, right? >> Died 5 years early. >> 5 years early. Yeets lived 180, >> right? >> Yakov lived >> uh 147, >> which is >> he lost 33 years. >> He lost 33 years. >> So that's up to 38. >> 38. And then Yoseph lives 32 years less than his father. >> I think that's the And altogether adds up to 70. Not so good with the math, but it adds up to 70. It works out. I've worked off. >> Wasn't your father the president of the Orthodox Scientists of America? But I need to but there is >> I knew you were bluffing is ask he says but why why there are two explanations. won about from Adam because he did a sin and therefore he had to give David do the 70 years because Mashiach even though Adam can't bring Mashiach David through David will come Mashiach and those are 70 years seemingly of chuva and 70 years of theos who are supposed to be perfect he says that's David on the one hand represents that when we sin the first thing we have to say is no mistakes we don't give excuses. We don't say, "Oh, it's because of when we see or hear the word leav." We have to think about David saying, >> "I heard from Kosalki. He said it's a gr." I couldn't find the gr. I asked him where it is. He says he doesn't know. He heard it from somebody else. That when Nasi confronts David, he says, and there's the guru says, "Why is it?" because he's supposed to say but he was so overwhelmed he couldn't get out the rest of it says and that's it he couldn't go on >> I mean there's a kutkar that says if we actually thought what it means we die of starvation because if we actually thought was now you right right in front of me we wouldn't be able to wouldn't be able to continue to eat in front of we just don't really think what means >> whichever was that with >> um I think it was fainted when he said when when they said when he would pass out >> right mhm so I'm saying but there's so therefore we first just say the word levit this is my the first problem because most people aren't in sh so >> that's what you got to you know if you go you go to see you can be yeah it's like >> so I said that my piece for today was lud David let's identify with David Melik that he's willing to say and he teach us how to do >> first piece. >> Wow. >> Just on the word. >> It it occurred to me now that you say that the other thing that David is is do >> right >> and do right. So it's levit right away is David and the hashem that that >> join together. >> Mhm. >> Add that to the list. So I got one. I got one. Yay. Yes, we'll bring the we'll put together that will be it. Yes. >> But in other words, or you were talking about I just saw in one of the baler which is this is like piece is all those who try to lead you astray and tell you no it's mut no no it's really it's not a problem. is false is the ones who try to like blow things up and make things better and you know change things around so you don't actually really do what you're supposed to do even though you know what you're supposed to do it's very right in other words to know there's the knowing what you're supposed to do and then not letting lead you astray from what you're supposed to do so that's the two things that's >> okay that's another idea and if you a person sits down and learns through you find all these different ideas in it that are very no very relevant in terms of in terms of >> the answer that that I had given the guy at the time was I said it's tak because we're really not guilty right and that's that's what we say we're not ma we're always shog so they're coming and testifying about us but we're really not bad and that's the gumar and brahos that nobody does except because of the the and the >> which means that we're not really guilty and uh the fact that people want to um indict us and come and testify against us. It's not really true. We're we're not as bad as people would have us believe. And that's why I was speaking in yeshiva many years ago for uh guys who were basically a work in progress. You know what I mean? >> Mhm. >> Um >> all of us, >> you know. No, not like all of us. Like more than all of us. There was one yeshiva which I won't mention now, but uh when I was recruiting for the yeshiva that we were in and Israel night, everybody would get up for five minutes to speak about the yeshiva. So this one school they would say all the yeshivas are for guys who want to learn. We're for the guys who want to want to learn. So it was one of those kind of school and I would say to them I remember I was speaking I said I said what sadikim you are that you guys could have hung around in America and partied. I said you could have gone to a kabutz program. You could have this. You could have that. you chose to come to a yeshiva in Israel because you're a sadic and they would get so angry at me. You know that I would suggest that they're sadikim because if you're a good person then that means that you're capable of good things and they don't want to hear that >> and it's too it's too uh frustrating for them and so it's important for them to believe that they're bad. >> It's right. >> That's right. That's right. way as if I'm a bad person and my life is easy. >> Yeah, I'm part >> that's that's if it wasn't that I believe that I'm really deserve to see the good of Hashem. That's what is saying what causes me to be good is that I believe I can see the good of Hashem. >> Yeah. >> Now as a person there's a quote from as much as a person has to believe in Hashem he has to believe in himself. I gave I gave a whole sh years ago um about den and people say you know this whole idea of yama dinen is such a terrible thing it's a terrible thing I said no it's a wonderful thing because before you can have a trial you have a pre-trial to determine whether the person is able to stand trial I said the fact that Hashem is judging you means that he thinks you're worthwhile of being judged because otherwise If you were incompetent and he couldn't expect anything from you, what's the point of judging you? You know, >> it's like somebody said to me once, "Hashem will forgive me anyway, right? Even if I don't do cha, he'll forgive me, right?" I said, "Sure, as long as you can convince him that you're a baby, you know, because the little kid goes into the kitchen and pulls out all the pots and makes a big mess and messes everything up. So, you don't say to him, at 2-year-old, you clean this place up, you know, and then go to your room and think about what you did, and then we're going to have a discussion, you know." No, you take him and you put him in the bath and you clean him up and then you go in the kitchen, you pick up the meth and you put him as his his crib with a bottle. You know, you don't expect anything from him. I said, so as long as you can convince God that you're a baby, he has no expectations. But if you're an adult and you're a responsible person, then au can be he expects things from you in this world and uh that's a frightening thing. Nobody people people would like to get off. In the words of Chico Marx and Groucho said to him, "I'm going to get you off on the sanity clause." He goes, "Hey, you can't fool me. There is no sanity clause." But anyway, the uh but but that's the obligation that if we we go into Ll and we say, "Well, I'm bad, so what's the point?" You know, just do whatever you're going to do to me. So that that frees me of any obligation. But if I'm a good person, then uh you can demand things of me and you can expect things of me. So that's pretty scary, you know. So uh okay. So we're I I don't want to give away the the whole book, you know. Uh today's I'll tell you a great story. You'll appreciate this. A woman said to me, I really thought that I was going to use this L and I was really going to, you know, maximize and, you know, develop and I wasted it again. And I said to her, it's VV. Okay. So, it's less than a week into L, you know, cuz yeah, but if I didn't start at the beginning, what's the point, etc., you know. So, luckily, this will come out. Most people will watch it, you know, at the beginning of L. So what's what are some tips to max besides listening to chauffeur? What's some tips to maximize our el experience? You know you know the the famous word by title bound the satma. Yeah. He says the inv says that he says it doesn't make any sense. It should have said or so he says because every year you think this is going to be the year and at the end it just turns out to be a year and we let the opportunity slip out of our hands you know. So um and Shapiro would always say on this idea from the fact that that says it teaches you there's something called a that's the when it's the time to get all of your together and get ready so that you can go into the new year having made the most of this year. So some helpful tips. What? Practical >> practical tips. >> Practical tips. Pick one thing. All the BI M talk about would say if you want to do everything, it's overwhelming. Pick one thing. One each day, one each week, a part of benching. Um maybe actually when you drive. To me, the biggest Muslim in the world is driving, which by the way, I don't drive anymore, but the biggest Muslim in the world is driving, right? >> Yeah. Because, you know, you they teach you in drivers defensive driving. And in Israel, they teach you that the best defense is a strong offense. >> I one time with the bus >> with the bus. I was actually I was one day driving with my Shabir. That's all. you've been telling Shabir stories and a bus cut us off and um so so not that the bus is a different story that's not with the bus this is with the car car that was but a car cut us off I said something you know it should be biso bicasso says the person is known by bikiso the way you spend your money bosso the way you drink picasso the way you what gets you angry we should add it should be the car looked at me and said is all three of them together right drive the car seriously person if you want a practical way to work on think about when we drive just just once a day don't beep your horn at someone especially if you like you know once a day be mater someone else on the road you know if you if you do in Israel you'll still be stuck on by by that intersection but okay you know but I'm saying in other words >> I got to tell you first of all my best story but then I want to tell the ribbako story but um the traffic light at bilani went out >> Mhm. So this is Israel >> now so that you appreciate this in November 1965 or 66 my uh my fact checkers will will remember there was a blackout on the whole east coast >> of New York I don't know if you were alive then you were you're my age so I don't know if you remember it was a kid I was in fourth grade maybe and a blackout my brothers all took chairs and they went down to different intersections in North America and stood there and directed traffic. They all volunteered. But here it's Israel. So a blackout. Everybody went at the same time and it was snarled beyond any chance. So one Israeli gets out of his car. He starts screaming. Then he tells this one, "Back up, back up." You know, and he backs up, you know, until he finally clears the intersection. Guess who's going right away? Everybody moves back in. such a muscale I don't care about anyone else. I just got to get out of here, you know, and then I'm done, you know. But um uh but there was the famous story with Jacob Kamki where he was driving with somebody and there was a bus and he says, "Let the bus go first because uh it's cover to >> it's also that the one the the ship that has more cargo more people goes first, >> right? >> Let them go first. It's coming on. >> So you were driving by >> and a bus cut me off. I said, "Oh, the bus goes first because it has more people." He says, "No, because it's bigger and it will just run you over." >> He says, "So says, "Let the bus go first." He goes, "Coven ultimate goes, no sacra, he'll kill you in a second." I thought it was great. You know, it's interesting para we have the mitzvah of setting up signs on the road to to the air miklad so everyone knows how to go and and get there safely because you know there are always people waiting to kill you on the road as you as you run to the air miklad you know so uh okay so one is to choose one thing I've been asked this question many time how do you know which thing to choose >> something that you're capable of doing that's number one not something that's outside of your abilities to do, >> which is more common. People always take something that they know they can't do and then they fail. >> Mhm. >> Like people say, "I'm never going to speak lashar again." >> Yeah. >> Right. And I know people speak lashar and you know who I'm talking about. You know what I mean? And I'm prepared to name names. >> I was talking to a group and I was explaining why a person speak. And I says, "And do you know who speaks lash?" And they said, "Who?" I said, "No, no, no. You're missing the point. You know about the guy giving out lushian harm you know door to door in a building knocks on someone's door we're giving out free lush har says no no no we don't speak lushian har here but the guy upstairs in part >> so uh so you take on something that's just too much right that's >> and that's also built in you're setting yourself up because you know you can't do it and therefore you're not responsible for yourself >> right and then you reinforce the notion that I can't change >> you know this is uh in the introduction to nephesh >> I took to these two people who wanted to dav in beavona >> mhm >> you know and uh well you know I'll just put it out there did Benjamin Franklin write that >> there's a rumor that Benjamin Franklin wrote >> it's definitely you there's nothing wrong with using ideas and tools that came from outside whether the person who wrote saw Benjamin Franklin's ideas also it could be >> but then he took an adapt apted it in order to be able to learn to learn Muslim. >> Yeah, >> there's nothing wrong with doing that. You also be have to know and this is something if if we just got there. There's a tendency to take all kinds of tools from outside the Jewish world and then use them in a hashem in various ways. Some are good, some might not be. It sometimes needed to decide is this a tool that we need to take from the world outside and now utilize it in our hashem. That's why I used to quote from the seven habits of highly effective people and I always felt a little bad and then I heard he olaw say there's a lot of wisdom in there so I said oh good I can hide behind him >> exactly no if you need someone who's able to say there's >> whereas he says that how to win friends and influence people is not a good book because it just teaches you manipulation and doesn't teach you midos or how to become a better person that's what he says says in the seven habits he says that's why I'm trying to teach you how to become a better person and not just use techniques to influence people. So >> uh yeah. So one is uh that that's why I always tell people I I say how do you know which thing to choose? I said if you write it down and you say that's nothing that's a good idea you know because that means you'll succeed. >> When people go to and they ask him for an say benching from a sitter or from a bencher that was his big cabal he would tell people. >> Yeah. You know, so he was always telling people something that you can do. But at the same time, that has to be a stepping stone because once you see that you did something, then you can do something else. I had a daughter who had so many things she had to do before she'd go to sleep. She had to say this and she had to learn this and to do this and that. She couldn't go to sleep. >> She would pass out on the couch in her clothes. You know what I mean? With her contacts and we would say, "Why don't you go to sleep?" Goes, "No, because I still have to learn. I have to say my >> there's a m like that with the altar. Someone who was a bah yeshiva who had all kinds of kabalas and all kinds of learning whatever and his father came to the altar and said how's my son doing? He said he's so busy learning he can't sty because that's what happens is people get get distracted by they have that expression the shiny object you know along the way. So instead of instead of focusing on on the they let things distract them. >> Yeah. But but I think a person needs to pick something doable, manageable in dining in which isn't you know hard you know not hard for us and also something manageable something something that you the best thing probably is to be something that you're not going to respond to something you know you're going to respond you usually respond to and I'm not going to respond to this but it's not going to say anything you know and obviously in terms of a little bit of learning a little bit more drop more learning but a drop you know and I think people can in some way figure where they're going to. I'm going to listen to Rabbi Loft's podcast instead of a YouTube video once a day. >> Oh, no. That's that's not even a cabala. That's a [Laughter] point you could recognize the guests on Raboski's podcast. In Rashi says the connection between and is mitzvah, you know. >> So I said, but why is that the order? So I'm not going to go into the whole verb, but I said because the it begins begins in a mukfka. So it doesn't it doesn't touch me. I'm out in the woods. I see a bird's nest. Chased by the bird. Take the nest. It doesn't It's not in my house like a maka. It's not in my business. It's not It's not in my clothing. You know, don't get too personal. Start in a mukum hefka. Take something that is >> you're not lo you're not losing anything. You're just away the bird. You never had the bird. >> Yeah. Yeah. Right. >> So, it's just, you know, uh very very easy. Okay. Last thoughts. >> Last thoughts. Hello. >> Hello. Hello. Right. But even that, you know, you have to say with that kind of of awe, but at the same time, like you said, I always say the ver from where he says the the brings that down. He says it's not cute. It's the icker of vod of el that I have to spend a month focusing on the fact that hashem loves me because how can I go into a yadin if I think the judge doesn't like me and he knows everything and he sees everything just shoot me now you know so if I don't know that he loves me and he's rooting for me and he believes in me and he wants to see me succeed you know one of my I had different girls went to different uh seminar high schools here unusually and um uh there was one that had a very positive approach. Anyway, she had been missing some classes and so we got a call that we're going to come in for a meeting, you know, and I was like, you see, now you did it. You missed so much, you're going to get thrown out, you know, cuz that's how these places work, you know. So, uh she says, Abby, you don't understand. This is not like every place else. and she calls up the office and the office calls us back and said, "No, no, no. We want to meet with your daughter to discuss how we can help her improve her attendance. We thought you might want to be there to help, but you don't have to if you don't want to." Anyway, after the came and took me to the hospital, I passed out. >> That's right. Not for the first time, you know. I was like what a positive attitude. So if you know that a bar is judging you because he wants to figure out how he can help you maximize your time because right says if nothing happens to you in what is it 30 days and you have to worry that broker just gave up on you you know so kosher says I'm not giving up on you yet you know let's have another sh let's have another yam kiper because I think that there's still great things you can do in this world and that's what l is for nila doa doili uh that's it for this episode. If you want to find out more about the show, you can go to my website, rivalsy.com. You can sponsor an episode. You can sponsor a question and answer. We haven't had one in a while, but we're busy. Uh we can sponsor a para and five. Uh we can uh I think we're going to have an episode. We're just going to catch up on some of the questions cuz you know, every week they send me another four questions and so far I get to either one or none. But uh so there's a little bit of a backlog. You can uh sign up for one of our online shares for women dafomi for gentlemen. You can submit a question. That's it for now. Contact Rabi Rdman. We're going to give you his contacts information uh on the episode so that you can either sign up for this amazing tour if you know someone who needs a school to be able to have children uh to Davin by the special women. 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