The JACK DANIELS Shiur (Ep. 246)

hi this is D olowski welcome to the rabbi olowski show whether you watch with our friends over aty time wherever you watch or listen to your podcast as always it's good to have you along and don't forget to like share and subscribe and comment apparently when you comment that also pushes it up um and we have a sponsor sponsored for for The Bu razel Leia Reena so we hope that uh everything should go well and should get better quickly and all good things um I don't always have this opportunity where uh I know the podcast is going to be coming out on a particular par on a particular situation but since I know this is coming out on the nine days and the week of para's dvar and we know there are certain paros that are supposed to be um ideally at particular times of the year right I mean Ezra was matain to read the clus in um [Music] Andra before and to read and T Nim before r and uh those more or less tend to come out some some years they're a little different etc for the most part that works out and one of the things that are supposed to work out is par dvar par dvar comes before Tish there a lot of different reasons for this one is obviously it recounts the story of the morlum which was the first Tish and uh as we know the Bas was destroyed because of lanara and elim it's all about words and the Power of Words and how words can become Torah or the opposite they can be used for Destruction but uh there's another aspect of it that uh all of saim to a certain extent we have to understand this mosu began saying sayat he died on Zion ad so it was about five weeks before he died and it was a five week mus where he was giving reproof to CLA Israel at the end of his life and uh from the different sukim and insights of course that rashu shares with us we get some idea about giving to now giving to is a very difficult thing because because to be able to do it in a way that people are going to be able to hear it and be able to receive it is is a very difficult task for almost anybody uh even for the most talented people who are in this line of work to give to in a way that is not going to have a negative effect um you have to really work very hard to work hard to be able to get people to um uh hear what you're saying when I was younger I thought that everybody wants to hear the truth and the older I got the more I realized it wasn't true so people would come to me sometimes with problems and I was able to see right away what the problem was and uh and I would tell them right away here's the problem and they were go no no no it's not sometimes they would say I I see why you think that but no that's not it and they would come back to me sometimes Days Later sometimes years later and they said you were really right but I wasn't ready to hear it I was talking to Dr reinfeld once who's a well-known psychologist here in harof and I said look you I have this experience you must have had this experience somebody comes into you and within the first session you know exactly what's wrong with them but your rules are that you're not allowed to tell him they have to figure out for themselves so what do you do he goes it's the hardest part of my job that waiting for people to be able to hear it when I was teaching in seminary a girl came to me and she says I don't know what to do I have a I have a real problem I said what's the problem she says I love playing basketball and I and I really need to play basketball I need it for myself and I can't play with girls cuz girls can't play I can't play with Jewish boys they don't know how to play either so I would go down to the schoolyard and the uh you know blacks and Hispanics would let me play because I was so good and I would play with them and I was really very good anyway I came here to Seminary and somehow he mentioned it to one of the teachers and they said you're not allowed to do that you know it's not senua to go out and play basketball with you know these non-jewish boys so I said but I really need to they said but you're not allowed to so uh I asked another Rabbi he told me the same thing so now I'm coming to you because I don't know what to do and I said it's a very hard question I'm going to look into it and uh from time to time over the years she would come over to me said did you find an answer yet I said no I'm speaking to this one I'm looking into this so one time there was another one of the teachers there and they said what's this hard question that you have to try to answer and I told them and they said why is that a hard question I said said because she can't hear the answer shorty went to two rabbis they told her no so for me to tell her no is no understand there's no trick to that she's not going to listen she's not ready to hear the answer and and that's where it comes from my friend uh R Frankle who we had Theus of having on the podcast to speak about his relationship with RHA Feinstein and RD Feinstein and he put out a safer of Rd Feinstein's talk him and um uh we uh he told me many years ago he had gone to mtj and he had gone to college and uh and years later when he was already R someone showed him a copy of a speech that mosha Feinstein had given to the P Isel about not going to college and he and he looks at the letter and says it's a forgery R mosha never said this and he runs to R Duff with the letter and he says you see what they're putting out in R Mosa's name so he says yeah Rosa said this says Rosa was against college so he said yeah so he says but we all went to college everybody in the yiva went to college and D looked at him and said Frankle and if we would have told you not to go would you have listened so we understand that giving it can't just be that I'm telling you what you're doing wrong it has to be in a way that you're going to be ma it that you're going to hear it and possibly be able to act upon it and it's very tricky to do um when I was teaching Discovery so uh there was this girl who mentioned to one of the M that her mother had a conservative conversion she says oh well then you know you're not really Jewish and you really have to get a real conversion and the girl was really very upset it was very upset and uh so they sent it to me to talk to me for damage control in some circles I'm seen as uh uh as being diplomatic I know listen on my show will find that surprising but there are there are those occasions when when I have bouts of apparent [Laughter] reasonableness anyway so um uh so this girl comes and she's very upset and I said what are you upset about she says well she said I'm not Jewish I said do you think you're Jewish she say yes I said who cares what she thinks if someone came over to me and told me I'm not Jewish it wouldn't bother me because I know I'm Jewish so someone comes along and says you should know you're not really a Jew and you have to convert I wouldn't feel threatened by that at all because I'm comfortable in my jewishness if you're comfortable in your jewishness so then uh you know so then don't let what anyone says bother you she says but it means that my conversion well my mother's conversion is not going to be accepted by everybody I said that's true that's true there are people who have certain standards of kasas and other people who have higher standards of kasas so I don't have to think that what I'm doing is not Kosher but if I want those people to eat in my house then I have to keep a higher level of kasas even though I think my level is fine if I want them to eat in my house otherwise I could say I don't care if you eat in my house I think it's kosher so if you're comfortable with your jewishness that's okay but if you want to you know have a conversion that everybody will think is acceptable so then you can get an orthodox conversion but that really depends more on you how you feel I think she went out and got a conversion I remember that I'm terrible with ends of stories but you know in other words she was willing to hear it it was it was reasonable it didn't it didn't threaten her I had a girl whose parents were not religious the father never went to synagogue the mother on uh ver shim Kipper would go to the conservative synagogue and it was a very large conservative synagogue with a caner and a thousand people and a microphone and you know the whole the whole nine yards you know maeding and you know so this girl became uh observant through ncsy and she started going to the Orthodox synagogue every shabas and uh didn't really make a difference because her parents didn't go but it started to come around to rashash and her mother was so happy she says finally I'll have someone to go to shore with me because of course your father doesn't go and your sister doesn't go and now I have somebody I can go to shore with she says to me so how do I explain to her that I would never step foot in her synagogue because I think it's strafe I said I wouldn't say that I would say just the opposite don't don't tell there's anything wrong with her synagogue tell her I I want to uh go to the sh I usually go to because it's more comfortable for me there I like it better not because there's anything wrong with yours I don't want to listen to a caner and mine the local people or lead the services yours is a thousand people you know who come uh only for the holiday holay here it's 50 people who come every week and have a certain connection it's smaller it's warmer I'm more comfortable I don't like that service I'm not making it about AIC issue I'm making it about choices we like different music uh I do my hair different than you we buy different clothing and uh I like a different type of a service but don't make it into um that's that shows traf and I wouldn't step foot there so she did the mother said that sounds really nice maybe I'll come with you because I wasn't trying to attack the person's underlying being I was trying to get them to see my point of view and very often with that is the key helping people see it from their point of view I may have told the story in the past but uh there was a molet that um uh opened up in yusim Friday night was it was you know open on Friday obviously and they would stay open after shabas already came in and there were protests there was complaints didn't make a difference so Lin known from the story that was put put out of him the book at sad timein was beloved by everybody and he comes before Li benching he's all dressed ready for shabas and he comes to the m so of course everybody stands the r is here you know and the M Reby can I get you anything he says no he just stands and after a while he says can I get you a chair he says sure gets a chair and he sits there and it'sing he says Reb it's it's candle lighting time says it's okay and it's uh Sundown Reby it's it's Sundown already it's okay say re it's say it's already uh the stars come out it's already you know later it's okay about an hour later the foot traffic finally uh finally let up and he starts closing up and he says Reby what were you doing here and he said I heard there was somebody who is opening his myet on chabas Inus and I said I don't know what's his Nan what is he going through and I said let me see for myself and I wanted to see what was going on and taka you have the market to yourself cuz everybody else is closed and people don't care that much about shoers they have no place place to go and they're coming to you and you're making a lot more money than you otherwise would if you were closed and it must be a terrible n for you to have to CH close on chabas shabas is chabas he said rebi you're the only one who is willing to see it from my point of view for you I'll close because rather than me you know it's it's a fascinating thing there was a book famous book um called How to Win Friends and to influence people Dale Carnegie and he says people very often make the wrong approach to people they explain to you why it's good for me if you do something says you have to explain to them why it's good for them to do something now somebody came through a m Shapiro and he says you know my son doesn't want to be from you know doesn't want to keep anything and he says of course if you want to take something away you have to prove it to them you can't just say you have to do it you have to show them why it's better for them what's in it for you and people tell me this all the time they just say I have a kid you know who's off the D and uh I try to explain whatever I try to explain they say heard it all already and I said they're right they have heard it all already they have to see it if they don't see it they're not going to appreciate it I'm sure I've told this Story Once Upon a Time uh I was in the uh intro program at Ur and uh this fellow walks in who's older than the average person and after a few classes it comes out that he's much more knowledgeable than the average person so I finally say to him okay what's your story there's obv a story here and he tells a really fascinating story he comes from South Africa his mother had gone to Bas Yakov his father was a Hell's Angel biker and a Smuggler boy would I like to meet that Shaden what they were thinking anyways this kid grows up as you can imagine somewhat confused and he uh was sent to the local Jewish schools and it was uh it was uh oppressive he found it the opposite of warm and accepting he found it oppressive he told one story he says you know we were little kids and it and it snowed it almost never snowed in Johannesburg we're all looking out the window and the rby says anyone who looks out the window doesn't get to go outside and play in the snow during recess he says I couldn't help myself I was looking at the snow I was fascinated and so when all the children went out I couldn't go out and play in the snow so uh th those were his memories anyway gave it up became a Hell's Angel he says he's lucky he never got the tattoo because there's no leaving the Hell's Angels yeah if you if you have their tattoo and then if you leave then they either cut it off or they bring you to the tattoo parlor and you have to Black it over the whole thing make it a black patch and uh you know he was living kind of wild this is the story he tells me now unbeknownst to him there was a uh young Rabbi came to Johannesburg griel katco and uh or had a young sh uh that uh people were coming to and he was the r of that but he was he was a uh what what they call in uh modern language air of monster yeah he um R Bea told the story that he was once with him out in the middle of nowhere in South Africa you know and he sees this group he goes let's go over and see if they're Jewish and Rebecca's like let's see if they don't kill us and he goes over he starts talking to them he gets them involved you know that's how he was by by everybody you know anyway so he says to somebody I want to reach the Jews that nobody is reaching he says okay what do you mean what's like the roughest part of town where the worst people are he says rabble you don't want to go there goes I want to go there he find some bar where all the bikers hang out and he walks in here's a short little guy in the suit and it's like one of those scenes from The Westerns you know everybody's talking and laughing you know and then the whole place goes silent like the piano plays like you hear a glass crash you know and he comes in and he bangs on the counter and he says drinks on me now this is a way to get people to hear what you have to say and I was like yeah I don't any drinks so the Jewish guys come over and said Rabbi what are you doing here you know you know this is not your part of town you don't belong here he say I came here for you he says for us what do you want says um I want to have a sheer once a week he says R we don't go to a you know he it's called a it's called a Jack Daniel's she I'll buy a bottle of Jack Daniel we have to finish it every week he goes Rabbi a sh like that I'll go to and he'd walk into this bar and everyone got to know him after a while you know the Jewish guys would all come over and Jack Daniels and he sitoo and talk about life you know and um and uh after a while he says Ah it's too noisy here let's move it to my house sure nice little quiet Jewish Suburban neighborhood and one night a week all these bikers come up all the motor CES pull up to his house you know and uh party drink drink and party like this anyway he was making an impact an impact with people that nobody would ever think you can make an impact with so AB was not part of this that's the fellow who came into my she North man but one of the guys knew him and he says to him ay you want to come and and join us we have a sheer he goes I don't go to a Shear so he says well it's a Jack Daniel's she we drink Jack Daniel I can buy my own whiskey yeah so one of the guys says you know Rabbi I have a friend AB but he's not interested in coming so he finds AB who's driving a tow truck now he explained to me that in South Africa tow truckers were like one step above muggers it could be they were under muggers they were like uh you know considered um not just low class but like dangerous class you know so so um so he sees him and he says to me AB I'm going to bring you back this is not me Rabbi I'm too far going and he says again ABY I'm going to bring you back that was the last he ever said about it he says over the next number of months I experienced something I never felt in my life I didn't feel it from my mother or my father or my grandmother or my rabbi or really anybody unconditional love I could not be bad enough that he would stop loving me he'd see me on shabas driving my tow truck he'd reach up because short and I reach up the gab give me a good Javas he'd see me coming out of a tray for restaurant to come over and give me a sh he said nothing I did could get him to stop loving me eventually I joined the Jack Daniels sh I would come to his house for J is it was an eye openening experience he died at the age of 28 and uh it was very devastating I was here at the funeral in uh y you know when parents are mpid their son that's that's always rough it's always rough and uh left behind a wife and children and U brothers and uh really really difficult and uh AB says to me after he died I said to his widow I said what do I do now he said go to Israel go to or it was me you know he he was on in years he had already been in the South African Army he was fighting in the jungles you know what I mean he was a tow trucker he was a Hell's Angel he was like you know I'm going to go to or he says that's what God would have wanted you to do and that's why he was sitting there walking into my sheer because somebody loved him [Music] unconditionally so there's an art form to being able to give and you know well never forget the words of grouo marks who said the most important thing is sincerity once you can fake that the rest is easy so the people know right away if you're real or not they know they they can sense whether you really care about them or whether they're a project uh I may have mentioned this in the past but there is a particular force and the K of movement that has wanted to professionalize kirv and so they say we'll give you money but you have to produce X number of people and they have to become from According to our timetable by this amount of time they have to start keeping shabas by this amount of time they have to start putting on film by this amount of time they have to this yeah and someone asked me about it I said yeah that's called a cult when I expect you to get religious according to my preset standards you've destroyed everything that's no longer me carrying about you trying to teach you it's me trying to force you to take on a lifestyle in order for me to get the money you know for me to continue my work it's absolutely horrific it's the worst thing that ever happened in in the kir of movement it's it's it should be denounced from the highest mountains not me because who am I I'm I'm a little guy but uh I've spoken to people in kirv and they've just said the pressure to produce numbers and the pressure of people is so antithetical to everything it stands when when I was in ncsy people ask to me why aren't you a cult I said because a cult I have expectations I have no expectations I don't expect anybody to do anything yeah I strike up a relationship with a person because I find people interesting and I and I develop a relationship with them not because I expect anything from them you know if they never become from I'll maintain that relationship because I'm investing in a person not in results for me because when that happens you you lose everything so is it has to be clear that I care about you and that's all I care about and and all of my efforts are what's going to be best for you I've had situations when I was in ncsy with teenagers where they would ask me advice on certain issues you know they're dating someone or whatever it is and they would ask me what do I do about this do about that and I would give them advice and sometimes they would say I thought you don't believe in teenagers dating I said I don't says so why don't you say anything I said because that's not the question you asked me you didn't ask me am I doing the right thing you asked me can you help me with a problem I'll help you with the problem you know that doesn't mean I approve but you're in trouble I'll try to help you out because I care about you when you care about somebody you you look at it from their point of view and uh and the most successful uh thing you can do is to become that person and look at it from their point of view but if you if you only look at you know uh what you want so you're not going to be so successful so there were a few ideas in the par that I wanted to highlight that's talking about as I mentioned this this final mus of moshu and uh just a few rashis I don't I don't want to belber it so it says Moses spoke to them pdid uh why is this guy giving us M he never did anything for us he's just looking for an excuse he can't get he's gonna say that's because it's your fault and therefore he waits until they defeat s and O and take their land before he gives to you always have to help people realize that they're good people mitv mitvah so there's a lot of way of understanding that and I think one of them is psychological when a person does a Mitzvah he feels good about himself he feels like he's a sadic and that inspires me to go on and do another Mitzvah because I see myself as a good person when I do a AA I see myself as a bad person I'm a BAL Vera you know this parenting now you're never supposed to say you're a bad boy because the next time the kid does something wrong and you say why did you do that and they said because I'm bad you told me I was bad so I'm a bad boy so I do bad things if you're a good boy you're a good boy how could a good boy do something like that it's not consistent so first you have to give people success and the more successful people are the more they're going to be in a position to hear what you have to say because you're going to be reaching their goodness inside of them theim and the the the more you look for look how great you are you're too great to do something small like this remember piss cron told his story that one of his kids he had very uh frizzy hair and his keeper kept falling off and I see him going around once without his keep I got upset and I said what a and I stopped myself and I said careful what you say I looked at him and I said said what a sadic you are How could a sadic like you go around without a keeper says he never went without his keeper again and when you can find when you can find that greatness in a person so first give people success have people have success um right burtz tells the story uh from the medish the medish says that a Rino had an Asel he would invite people in and he would give them to eat and to drink and at the end he would hand out the benches and people were like well I I'm you know I don't believe in God go I don't believe in God okay so then we're going to have to uh give you a bill for your food he says well I was a guest he says a guest thanks the host says I'll thank you I didn't make the fruit fruit came from the tree I'll thank the tree tree came from the ground I'll thank the ground a ground uh came out of a Big Blob of gases so I'll thank the Big Blob of gases where did that come from that's the mees and R Burwood says the first thing you see is don't take advantage of somebody who's hungry and thirsty give them to eat give them to drink before you begin a whole conversation by Religion Don't say like other religions have done we'll give you food if you accept our religion religion otherwise will leave you to starve yeah um the uh uh you don't take advantage of people so first thing you do is you try to help somebody you look for a situation you can help them then afterwards once you're helping them with their physical needs you can help them with their spiritual needs so first MOS wanted to teach them success another Point Rashi makes he waited till the end of his life to give him in fact it used to be until the time of yov that nobody ever got sick and died you would sneeze and die that's why people would say God bless you g when someone SM SE because that's it that's how you used to die and uh and he D that he should get sick so he knew when he was going to die so he could call his children together to give him what did yob say I'm going to talk to you about what you did by and if you're wondering why I didn't give you all these years I was afraid that you'd be embarrassed and run away to my brother ASV because you be embarrassed to see me so like this I'll tell you what you're doing wrong and uh and then I'll die so you don't have to be embarrassed to look at me any more and waited Mar till the end M said the same thing I give it to at the end but now I'm still alive because I don't want to be afraid of me and embarrassed to come over to me yakob says to shim Ley why did you wipe out everybody in sh now they're all going to rise up against us now we're GNA have to fight all these wars and we're too uh weak we're not strong enough to fight all these wars and shim Ley said uh should we should we uh let our sister be treated this way and yakob says nothing for decades until he's on his deathbed and said let's finish that conversation because parents have experienced this there's no point in talking to somebody who's not listening so if somebody has the earphones on it doesn't matter how good the musm is it's not going to go in you have to get people are willing to listen if one somebody comes to you and says yeah yeah well what about says okay okay you're not ready to hear yet maybe that day will come Frankle if we would have told you would you have listened and so people look at situations and they say Okay um I may have to wait for the right time when a person is going to be receptive to hear the message I have to bring across but if they don't have that and what's the point so M says this is it I have no choice now I'm GNA give you my final words and then I'm going to die so think about what I'm telling you there's another thing when it comes to you Rashi says right at the beginning so Rashi says these are all hints to the different Aus he was going to give them M for because you can't give it all at one time it's what they call a kitchen sink argument if I start arguing with you and I pull out everything that you've ever said and everything that you've ever done it's impossible so all you've done is destroy me so you deal with one issue at a time and uh you can't fight on 100 fronts and for parents this is one of the hardest things because you have to know when I don't say something you can't can't criticize your kids about everything all the time you have nothing but criticism uh I remember there was a book that came out in the 80s called the one minute manager says the one minut manager has one your side catch your employees doing things right we catch people doing things wrong and we criticize them but we don't look for opportunities to see where they do things right so that we can reward them and uh and that's the that's the goal ultimately the goal is to is to um say this is a good person look at all the good things you've done and this is one issue that we need to deal with now it could be there are 10 issues but we're going to deal with one issue can't deal with everything was a comedian Don knots and uh he uh he used to do these conversations uh like Bob newart used to do where he would have like a conversation with K he was talking to somebody so he's doing a psychiatrist talking to this woman and it turns out she has lots of problems and all these different problems he says look it's going to take us a very long time to work through all these issues what do you mean you can't pay you can't afford for the therapy he says well okay we'll deal with all of your problems and we'll save the kleptomania for last right that's where you go out and steal stuff so we'll deal with the stealing L at the end to make sure that you can pay your therapy bills you know you can't deal with everything it's just impossible know you can't hear about 20 different things and that's why when a spouse will say to their spouse you did this and this and this and this and this and this and you always this and this and this and this then forget about it so okay so what's the point at this point you know if it's a man he'll stop talking and become Sullen it's a woman she'll say so if you don't love me why don't you just divorce me says No I'm just pointing out some you know some issues yeah I'm trying to be [Music] helpful um I'll give one more example and then we'll take some questions but there's one that to me is a very very powerful point so after the morim they're told that they're going to be in the midb for 40 years and they're all going to die out there peric baz and when that whole generation died out then Hashem spoke to me then Hashem spoke to me says Rashi but from the time of the morim until that generation died out Hashem never used the word because he was upset this is astounding because you know Rashi says in a number of places is Kos is always a lan Raa k is that's um that's say it to them softly yeah yud like he's coming to B and he says and let me speak is always a hard language when Hashem was angry at them he used a nice soft language he only used the harsh language when it was clear that he wasn't upset with them anymore which is an unbelievable idea you can only talk tough to people that you love and people that you're upset with you can't talk tough always speak very nicely very softly because you're upset right you don't speak out of anger you always try to say it in a way that's going to uh that's going to be that people can hear so people that you love you can talk to them in a in a tough way because they're willing to listen and they know that you care about them and therefore they're willing to hear a tough message and people who are not sure if you like them or not you got to be very careful to say everything very nice and gentle so these are a few insights because we're coming towards the end of days and we want to try to influence people to make changes in their lives and it's only going to come about because of words of love and showing people their accomplishments and understanding where they're coming from and helping them to be able to be the best people they can be and now we come to the question and answer portion of our program by Benny mik what is your favorite food to break a fast on this is a good question um I had a a friend I I say friend but I really mean Mentor I was growing up in North America Long Island and I would walk to the young of North Belmore which was a mile and a quarter away and there was a fellow there Charlie libshitz now it's Rabbi Charlie libshitz uh who was an older fellow and SMA in yu he was walking from East meow as a much further walk and uh he would uh give me UD and encouragement and uh really you know he was one of the forces that carried me through difficult times and um uh he said that uh he has a friend who used to say as soon as the fast is over he would have uh SLI ofit which is a sort of really rough alcohol take a shot right away so your stomach knows we back in the business yeah Shad me said you know his parents were of that generation where you know when you broke her fast first you have a cup of tea 15 minutes l lady you can have one cookie you know 10 minutes after that you can have you know half half of a piece of cake it takes three days till you're able to eat again you know um the uh the mug uh when I was growing up is after a fast you would have milk eggs now coffee and cake coffee and cake people break a fast on coffee and cake that's for sure you know make yourself a cup of coffee and have a piece of cake that's uh that's certainly the way that you would uh come out of a fast question is then what about afterwards so um so when I was growing up and in my home they usually have mils uh they have lasagna and uh onion soup and you know all the all the popular nine days foods and uh Shu foods that they would have milk IGS the idea being that milk IGS is easier I don't know that that's necessarily true because cheese is pretty heavy and all those carbs and stuff so obviously the suda after yum kipa we have fles suda we have chicken soup and uh you know with lu and uh we have a piece of chicken Etc uh I happen to think that's actually a little easier uh to digest afterwards uh so the answer is really what do I eat after a fast whatever's there uh but uh coffee and cake is the or girl you have to start with that by Anonymous when did the iser of listening to recorded music during spa and the three weeks start recorded music wasn't available until 60 years ago uh it started after there was recorded music and like all things uh it depends now you have to understand the iser of having music during these times of year uh uh is because they're going to lead to rec and Sim um no nobody listened to music uh unless it was a live band so you would have a live band at a Sim at a something like this you wouldn't just hire a Minstrel to follow you around and say listen I got to work in the kitchen can you play music so it just never worked that way so it just wasn't available so when recorded music came in it was a discussion among the poim some people said um music is music music and other people said well uh now that people have grown dependent on having music all the time it's a different story I heard from D aritz that he uh uh he asked rtui Goldstein are you allowed to listen to recorded music during the spa and he said no and he said uh what about uh you know a woman who's doing housework and she you know the music helps her get her work done yes what about a b who's relaxing and he wants to listen to music to relax yes what about someone who's feeling down Etc must listen music is cheer up yes and he goes through about eight cases like this and each one was yes so at the end he said so who can't listen said everybody else but obviously there's you know there's room to uh to maneuver now um they came out with uh acapello music I never I didn't check this out but I did he that Rebel yosra was not happy with it because these people managed to make a acapello music that sounds exactly like music so you know what good does that do now another caveat a lot of it depends on the type of music I.E I know somebody who wanted to do a kumzits with a guitar during the nine days and they asked you know was a kir group and they asked Yos he says yeah it's m because they're playing slow sad songs when you have these AC capella groups that are doing asab you understand that's kind of self-defeating you're playing wedding music that's that's the I uh Tak against music during this time is is uh for that type of Celebration so I have heard the pank that if you're listening to uh slow music the vas music certainly sad music uh even if it has instrumentation it's not a problem because it's not the kind of thing that you're going to get up and dance to you know you it's not g to happen you understand so uh so that's it so who historically came up with the first is I don't know but obviously as new situations take place and people have to deal with it so you know this was beginning about electricity whe was the and what what its nature was so uh I can't tell you historically when but those are the different ideas as far as I understand them why one of the 13 why is it so important it's literally on the same list as to believe in God the Torah is true mashia when Adam and K were in ganen uh Hashem said to Adam if you eat from the tree you will die let's make a quick calculation that means if you don't eat from the tree you won't die which means the normal existence is not to die it's to live forever if you believe that when we die it's an end then you're basically denying all of creation and the way that set up the world and the ultimate purpose we are supposed to live we are not supposed to die death is a bad thing it wasn't supposed to happen and so when the world goes back to the perfection because Messiah is one of those things right he's going to come and bring the world back to Perfection then everyone has to come back and Contin just because uh was born before mhia came and was attacking the world that means he doesn't get a chance to continue his original Mission doesn't make any sense so therefore means that you understand that we're coming back and there's an ultimate uh conclusion to events If you deny Asim and a life after death then you're basically saying that this is it there just this life and there's nothing Beyond it says nobody could believe that created the world just for this world can't be there has to be something greater and something more so uh when you say you understand it's basically the same thing Asa because according to the ram what we we call he calls the it's a big waiting room the goal is then that'sa that's where we come back into this world and complete the mission OFA in a world that's got Aiden the way it was originally supposed to be should to see it and that's it for this week if you want to find out more about the show you can go to my website ri.com you can sponsor an episode we will not be able to continue I'm sorry you know we had a TFA where we weren't putting out episodes and uh you know I uh I like doing this and I understand I'm not getting paid for it but I can't actually pay to produce it so if we don't have sponsors then you know you'll just have to settle for the past almost six years of podcast that are already out there and other sh that I've given and that's fine with me there's plenty to watch hours and hours of me how much of can anybody take but uh we need sponsors so you can sponsor an episode you can sponsor a question and answer you can um uh sign up for one of our online shurm I made a suggestion of maybe doing a Shir peros and it got some interest if anyone's also interested in that uh you please write in you can leave a comment you can ask a question and uh that's it till next time uh I am de olowski and this has been the rabbi olowski show it's the rabbi orlovski show Tor and S ready to go the rabbi orovi show knowledge and wisdom will help you grow lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhyme no we don't it's the rabbi orlovski show on rabi orcky.com T anytime you two and more it's Rabbi orlovski show Torah and S ready to go it's the rabbi orlovski show till next time till we meet again the rabbi orlovski show it's the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi Orlowski show