The Age of Legends (Ep. 166)

hi this is david rolofsky and welcome to the rabberolovsky show [Music] whether you're watching with our friends over at tour anytime whoever you watch or listen to your podcast as always we are excited to have you along when i say we i mean me producer michael and the hundreds if if not thousands but i don't know but definitely hundreds no it's definitely thousands yeah the thousands of people who are part of the rabioloski uh show family now before we get started because we've got a lot to do uh today uh i wanted to start with our dedication our sponsorship which is being sponsored by ellie and rina gray in honor of our son abey's first hebrew birthday now this is a very special dedication for me obviously because both ellie and rina were tell me them of mine so uh when the two of them come together is it always nice when you go to hasana from both sides you know you feel you have you could have been invited from either side you know it's so nice and uh their son's first birthday thank you for continuing to inspire your audience each week with your unique blend of humor and passion for truth trust me it's gotten me into trouble more than once we are grateful to have both had you as our rebbe and hope that eby will be able to meet you soon and continue the legacy hatslach hashem next time i make it down to joerja be a pleasure to to see your son and to see the two of you and may your family continue to grow and go and have a lot of hudson now if you watched the extra episode that we were able to put up of the raviolsky show live in flatbush you got i hope a small taste of the excitement when a bunch of rubber yolovsky show crazies come together there is nothing like it now bear in mind we had less than a week to advertise it it was less than a week and the uh it was just sent out to the email list and the little video only went up on youtube it didn't get up onto tour any time and we got a nice crowd of people deep as dark as flatbush where there's no parking and uh it's just so much excitement and so much enthusiasm i hope you were able to get a feeling of it from watching the video but everybody who is there is part of something special and you who are watching this are part of something special and i was encouraged by uh so little lead time and getting such a wonderful response that blee neder i have another trip coming up around lagba umbertime i'm going to be spending their shabbos after like by omer in saint louis or st louis however you want to pronounce it in missouri or missouri however you want to pronounce it and um uh i'm going to try either the week of lag bomber or the week afterwards to do a few of these events in a couple of different communities if you are interested in having the rabiolosky show live come to your community please contact us as always through our website rabialowski.com and you can you can contact us there um if anyone would like to sponsor one of these because i just got to tell you now this thing's going to take off you you want to be a part of this don't don't want to miss out yeah so it's going to be very exciting i have to tell you the the feeling in the room was just so tremendous and as you saw from the interview our friends from tour anytime showed up and we have a lot of other friends and surprises waiting in the wings to make an appearance in its hashem on the raviolovsky show live so uh um i'm gonna have to somehow get my raviolovsky show live um sign to america because uh for my 60th birthday my kids made a big sign and uh have to figure out how to get it over there but um in any event uh i i if you watched it i hope you got a little bit of a feeling how exciting it was so i'm back from a uh really incredible trip to america i have not had a speaking trip to america um in a very long time i had this course to do a shabbos up in the catskills um with my good friends uh about uh well this summer will be three years and i didn't really have a trip since and all of a sudden this trip came together so i had this course of speaking um for the shinix uh stucco organization in lakewood avastaka i have to tell you that mrs shanik spoke beforehand and i was really impressed with the fact that there are people in this world who make you appreciate how little you've accomplished and i know for me mr shonik did that it was so beautiful and so inspiring and the whole evening they brought me in just to thank the block captains who were in charge of uh raising money and looking out for people on their own black and lakewood what a beautiful beautiful event and i was so deeply moved and i got such wonderful reaction afterwards it was wonderful the next job is i spoke at the project inspired convention uh you can go to our good friends at tour anytime they have the shirem that were not on shabbos uh recorded if you want to go to youtube they have recorded the ones that were on shabbos i'm just kidding anyway with our friends over the christian organization i'm just kidding about that but um uh so those shimmer up and it was just unbelievable event i i am so moved i haven't been to a project inspired convention in years and i am so moved by what they do not just by how they inspire people to go out and reach out to other jews and a number of those jews who became from because people from project inspire came back inspired to go out and reach out to their fellow jews but uh but in addition to that uh the people themselves walk away with such an inspiration and i know uh the one good thing for me about the weekend is that i did not put on any extra weight because there were a lot of buffets and every time i would walk to one of the buffets people would come over and talk to me yeah and i would talk person person in person eventually i get an hour and a half later get back to my wife she says where's the food i said i i never made it to the food i had something better speaking to the wonderful wonderful people come to this the whole thing was sold out it was just really such an exceptional thing they do such a great job and i just enjoyed it so much and then then at sunday night was the raviolsky show live and then i flew out to l.a i went back to l.a i stayed with my good friends the haredim who live in los angeles and i got to do a shabbos for my good friend over yitzi summers uh and uh it was it was just such a beautiful shabbos yeah um my wife said they're working you hard and i said listen and and i i've said this on the podcast many times and i i have to repeat myself but you realize that there's over 90 hours um i'd have to make a hydra it's probably close to 100 hours of podcasts that have been done that means that i'm i'm speaking for you know 100 hours it's impossible not to repeat yourself yeah it's possible that uh you may i may you know i know i've made this point more than once so uh so i'm going to make this point and i recognize i might be repeating myself but you know you have to understand there's been almost a hundred hours of podcasts that have taken place and it's impossible that i'm not going to repeat myself so it's possible that you've heard this before because you have to understand there's been almost 100 i i know some people are a little slow on the uptake i told this joke at the project inspiring convention and i only realized afterwards that nobody got it you know so if you happen to have been there and you happen to be watching the podcast so allow me to help out those who who didn't get the joke yet um i i said there was somebody at the at the convention with the seeing eye dog and i said it always made me wonder when you walk into a mall and you see that little sign no dogs except seeing eye dogs who is that sign for anyway there was a smattering of laughter and i said come on you could get this and then everyone started laughing and it turned out that they didn't get the joke but they just felt bad because they knew it was rison in them they know that i'm funny i have a kazuka so they figured no i shouldn't i should laugh because i know it was funny i just didn't get it the point is if you put up a sign that says no dogs except seeing eye dogs the people who are vision impaired can't read it so ella what the people who can see read it what good does that do they don't have a seeing eye dog just write no dogs and the guy with the seeing eye dog is going to bring it in and he'll watch you're afraid someone's going to give him musa and yell at him because he came out with a singing eye dog and said what's wrong with you what are you blind did you see the song anyway that's the joke and uh nobody got it and i don't care my attitude is and i've always maintained this that when i'm speaking especially when i give like a 45 minute hours rusher that if the average audience gets about 60 to 70 of my jokes i'm happy sometimes i tell jokes for them just for myself i know no one's going to get it but i just make myself laugh and that's why i listened to my own uh recordings and i was i watched the perm podcast twice it was so funny i had such a good time in fact i got a suggestion from somebody who said that they really enjoyed the questions at the end which were really just jokes and the other jokes that were peppered throughout and they said i think at the end of the podcast in addition to uh answering questions from listeners you should stick in a joke okay i hear that but anyway um so uh it was a wonderful wonderful time in fact my friend devil have told me that when he was in israel someone said what's your family name he said he says shame he says no no it's much like a diamond castle routine [Laughter] you know so uh this is one of the classic avenue costello routines you know he'd say uh he says uh i have an uncle in alaska he says gnome because there's a place called noam alaska he says noah of course i know him he's my uncle he says no no no i'm alaska he says i know him in alaska i'd know him anyway anyway so what's your name alright no no i know your families convey them but what i actually haven't thought about cheva and when she was seven years old you know i uh i used to do this with her i said but kama at so there you go there's that funny routine i work for seven-year-olds i don't have a problem people say to me how do you relate to people of all ages i have avoided maturing and so hashem there are enough people out there who are like me by the way if you go to the closing my closing talk at the project inspired convention i talked about this very idea so in any event that was uh my american trip and like i say i'm going again like by omar and uh i feel a little bit like mark twain samuel clemens the american humorist because a newspaper printed his obituary and he wrote a letter to the editor saying reports of my death have been highly exaggerated so i didn't go to america to speak for two years so i said okay that's the end of my speaking career i'm obviously morphing into whatever the next stage of my life is going to be and uh and then all of a sudden i came back so who knows who knows what akersborohu has in store my approach to life has always been led hakusho steer and let him run where you're supposed to go and uh you'll never be lost you never have to worry okay that's just catching up that's just catching up listen full disclosure when i was in america the podcasts that you were watching were pre-recorded yeah this episode has been pre-recorded to be broadcast on a later date right so okay so uh so now i'm here there's some way to do this live i don't know how but uh you know we keep we keep moving forward you know uh before you know it's gonna be the third year anniversary it's unbelievable we're gonna be starting our fourth year of this which uh you know was just a funny idea that i had one so if you go back and watch the first episode it looks like a hostage video it was filmed in the corner of my bedroom [Laughter] so anyway i remember when i was a kid my parents had this dish towel that was written on it help i'm being held prisoner and a chinese laundry [Laughter] so it was just an idea but it turned out turned out that there's a need and when people say to me how much they enjoy it i mean we all agree there's nothing like this it's not like there are plenty of shirim i could do that oh if i wanted to be a real rabbi this week's parsha has a very interesting concept that i believe we need to develop further let's begin i could do that i can i've been a real rabbi yeah well not a real rabbi but but i have filled some rabbinical uh jobs once in fact in one of my speeches i do an imitation of a rabbi and i was doing gashabbas once and they didn't have a rabbi so they said could you be the rabbi so i did my impersonation of a rabbi it was perfect [Laughter] anyway so uh and and there's late sunnis there are people who do late sunnis out there but to be able to have torah that's presented in an entertaining way i happen to think we are the only avenue for this and uh so that's it i i'm i'm thrilled that i have this horse i'm thrilled that people watch listen to me and that's what i said i was going to repeat that i've said many times you know uh i cannot thank you enough for the fact that people listen to me because i live here in airshow where there is no shortage of uh retired rabbis who would love to have the opportunity to be able to speak to an audience of six you see sometimes they give a little share between mr meyer if you know they have three old men one's sleeping one's deaf one's dead you know and their whole theist they spend the whole day preparing for that and the fact that i have this huss that thousands of people want to listen to me and that's why i was saying at the project inspired convention you know that so many people wanted to talk to me you know i had a trip to america when when my mother was still alive and it was a very busy trip and uh my mother commented she says uh you know it's too much for you i said mom there's gonna come a time when nobody's gonna wanna hear me and so as long as people wanna hear me i'm to keep talking and when that day comes then i'm asked to give the share and between mr mayor for the three old men i'll just sit at home you know answer emails on my computer assuming anybody's still writing me so uh that's what i'll do i'll finally answer all those emails you sent me that i haven't answered but i've prepared my family i said that when i finally go my time is up and because baruch who takes me to the next world yeah don't worry about it just buy a cardboard cut out of me and stick in front of the computer you won't even know i'm going for years every time and then i'll have a recording you can play and say what is everybody doing over here why are you making so much noise [Laughter] and no one will even know i'm going all right all right so uh oh that's just catching up just catching us i miss you guys i miss you so much you know when i go to america and people have come over to me from all walks of life i have to tell you i i meet khashov him from you know famous families and people with with uh with big positions who come over to tell me they watch the show i have children of all ages you know uh uh uh elementary school high school you know i have kids who are off the derrick i have elderly people i have people from all walks of life who who somehow feel joined together that's one of the exciting things of making uh this podcast and like i say of the live because we get to see each other you know i have not given up my hope of uh making a real rebellowski pesach program where we could find a hotel and hopefully fill it with rabbi alaska show crazies and just have a whole pesach together it sounds like such an exciting thing i'm really looking forward to seeing how we can work that out but uh anyway enough about me let's talk about you what do you think of me all right all right just uh talking about that but again uh how much i appreciate you taking out of time to listen and to be a part of this of the rebellowski community ravioloski show community i should say yeah in real life i'm really very dull you know people uh say you know my wife tells me people come out and say is he funny at home too so she gives one of two answers he goes yes he's he's very funny well she goes no he's he's terribly depressed he just sits around all day and it's it's a real it's a real it's a real ordeal to have to put up with him so whoever i am i don't know i have people come over and discuss intimate moments of my life because evidently i said it over on a show and everyone's into it you know my kids tell me they meet people like oh are you the one who [Laughter] they're like no rolowski is a very common name we're not related at all all right all right i'm sorry i'm just catching up a little hyper oi what do i want to talk about i want to talk about something that um is i think beyond tragedy i think it's transitional i really do um because i've mentioned this in the past when i was growing up there would be a torah missouri meeting i'm not even talking about a convention be a meeting and then the room was moshe feinstein and with jacob kaminetsky and with rudemen and uh hannah claiborne from kapitzkaim and uh you know we've gifted and and all the good islam uh of america would get together and say how are we gonna solve the problems in america um in eric's show you had the stapler and you had already coming up people already knew rebel yahshua zalman all these people were already there they were already on the scene and uh one by one scheinberg one by one we lost them all and uh but there was no one khan kanyevsky and now that rokham kanewski is no longer with us there will always be kurdish barrical never going to leave us alone there will always be somebody to fill the place but the legends of the last door yeah are no longer with us those those people who we used to tell stories to our children about so i to i want to spend a little time talking about rakhine kanyevsky i met him only once when i say met him i mean i had uh an opportunity to ask him ashila somebody took me to see him he has a big room not even a big room but it's a room that was his dining room his living room it was filled with svarham that's where he was while we were waiting to go and talk to him we were waiting in his bedroom a dorm room probably looks nicer than this room paint was peeling they had like such nude beds now make no mistake about it people had offered to buy him a nice apartment he refused he says my father the stifler lived here yeah i can live here too yeah um and he lived very simply that's how he lived all he did was sit and learn so we went to ask shyla and afterwards i brought my my son along boshi huda who you've met in previous podcasts and asked him for a bracha and the fellow who was with us said and you know he's he's a cohen so if i'm lit up he goes cohen you know there's a mitzvah to be merchabed a cohen cotton and he pulls out one of his farm and he starts showing where he wrote about it and he was so excited to be able to show this kiddish that he wrote to a couple of people who were just sitting sitting in his living room dining room basement you know everything you know it was such a warmth and such a realness to him i want to tell you what i'm going to tell you a couple other stories that that again the the thing about uh something that is very big is that everybody sees only a little piece of it a piece of it now uh when robin solanta was nifter so italablazer who was also known as uh it's la with his talmud moffat he was called peter berger because he was the rev of saint petersburg which was the capital of all the rushes and he gave it up to um to become a talmud to revisalanta and after if you saw was nifty he said i knew him better than anybody and i didn't know him at all golem are only megala a tiny little bit of who they are the rest of it they keep hidden and i always thought it's so different when you have a celebrity either from movies or for music or from politics and they have this whole machine creating an image and after they die so the people put out books and you find out the person was nothing like they pretended to be and uh in gadoli torah you only begin to get glimpses of who they were afterwards because they hide everything and and their greatness so i'll tell you a story my uh my wife has a cousin uh she and her friend were learning with russian mariah all right if you're not familiar it's a modern orthodox seminary so her friend said come we're going to go and uh get a bracha from i don't know which rabbits and some rabbits in in bday brock i don't know who it was so they come to the brene brock and they say where does the rabbitson live thinking of course there's only one in bernie so the people in the neighborhood here the robertson you must be in represent county asking okay so thursday they show up and they come to her and she's in her tiny little kitchen yeah and uh they said you know we came to the bracha she says listen thursday i make shabbos i don't i don't give a breakfast but if you want you can make calls with me so like okay so these two american girls thanks seminary spend thursday making shabbos for jefferson kanewski at the end she says to them why don't you come back next thursday and thursday after thursday would come and they would sit with representation and uh make shabbos so towards the end of the year she uh uh she says well um you know what are you gonna do next year she's well i'm not sure if i'm gonna go back and go to college or maybe i'll go in and go to mikhaila you know and uh you could take some academic courses then so rebecca and kanyeski says no no for sure go to michaela she said i don't know if i can get in she says i'll write you a letter of recommendation now i imagine this is the only letter of recommendation michelle ever got from representatives these people were so real as we were walking in to to go and there's she was coming down the steps and someone comes over and hands her a piece of paper with her name to darwin for so she goes oh i'm a rebel i'm getting fiddler there was something so real about it now this is the part of the story that i heard and again as i always say i don't check out any of my stories i'm not peso crone okay but i've heard this story from a number of people i hope it's true when he was young he couldn't learn he'd never had they say the stipela was going to get him a profession so that he could at least go out and earn a living because uh he was never going to make it in learning the they wanted to make a colo eleone for only the best the best people and the cousins said you're making a mistake because i knew a boy who when i used to learn with him could not understand khumashirashi and today's atomic hatham he was talking about rukhine i met somebody 30 years ago and somehow wilkin kanievsky came up and he said to me i don't get it i was in haiti with him he couldn't learn a word that's what guy said to me he just he just brought it up in the context of the conversation okay so we know the story the only guardian who either he was six or he was nine there's two versions of the story he finished vacheron minojos in one night you know we know the story of rabjool the satmar rabba when he was a little boy his father when he was sleeping tickled his ear with his tissues and he pulled down the little sleeve of his stretchy to rub his ear you know okay but here was a person who had to fight to be able to make it it's a big deal to become a sondik to be a son that get a uh a bris was a sonic for one of my uh one of my nephews my my brother lichmann was able to get him he came down to kyrgyzstan to be a sondik i got hyderabad yoshi for the mind they you think like you know what they're so busy to be a sondik yeah now to be a sondik is compared to being mockery of terrorists to offering up the incense in the basin mcdush and the mishnah says that you only got to do that once each coin got to do it one time why because there was a special broccoli that if you bought the tyres you became rich so someone asked the stiper said you know you've been uh you know sandix so many times where's the money [Laughter] he says my son will climb remember on game shows they used to say you know you won ten thousand dollars in cash and prizes yeah sometimes you're getting cash sometimes you get in prices you have a kid like abraham right what a what what a bracha that was and you understand that he made himself into this person he worked and developed himself what an unbelievable thing there are godom children who do not make it if you saw solante had a kid who went off you know just the fact that your father was a god to be so is no guarantee it's not a yerusha to you and and was somebody who made himself and he remained simple and humble his whole life what a what a wonderful wonderful person a person besides being a godless fellow in this but what a person and uh what can i say you know claudius is uh all the poor effort um people who were close to him said that he was not well he wasn't really active i don't know how long last month's last years i don't know exactly and uh i just remember hearing i forgot which goddale it was i'm when he was very old he wasn't really that alert that active so one of them said to another one because remember when we had the time and he says what are you talking about the fact that he's alive is mugging on our door it doesn't matter whether he's going around speaking or writing or the very fact that sadik like this lives among us is a tremendous protection for ours and for our entire generation and that's why hitler did not come to power until after the queen died so uh people asked me what does it mean that ibraheem kanyevsky died on shushan purim and i said i don't know but libby oyemir it's not good i don't know if i don't think it's a good thing for us so we'll we'll carry on and limp our way into your most mashiach and now we come to the question and answer portion of our program [Music] and uh we've got some uh very interesting questions yeah jeff davis asks why is it that among less affiliated jews there are some mitzvos that they are very mocked on fasting onion kipper pesach and brismila these are all quite difficult mitzvahs and i wonder why these are generally well observed if i wasn't affiliated these aren't necessarily the ones i would choose so the question is profound and the answer is meta-historical know how hard it is to work that word into a sentence anyway what does that mean in the 1980s the new york federation did a survey of religious observance among jews in new york and they found not three only two mitzvos that were being observed by more than 80 percent of jews from all stripes pesach seder perhaps more than some things but chanukah did not get 80 if kipper didn't get 80 those two why is that we're coming up to pesach and the pesach say that we're going to say by the blood you will live yeah two bloods the blood of brismila and the bro blood of corbin pessah elio and navi gave up on claudius you remember that part after the whole horror carmel and and he saw that he was not successful in swaying the jewish people back to chuva and he just goes out into the desert and says i want to die so coach barclay says you're not going to die but you gave up in the jewish people so you can't be the leader anymore because the leader has to believe in clydesdale you have to always remain true to claw yourself yeah this admirable was known to be a staunch anti-zionist and somebody asked him because i understand that you see abraham ravino daven for the messiah of stone why don't you you know daven for all that's all the zionists that they should do tuva so he says you know what i'm doffing when i'm darling you know what i'm saying when i'm in my publicly you know avraham said i wouldn't take a shoelace from you people you're such vishalim and privately on the mountain he dove and he said i'm always dobbing you cannot be you cannot be a leader of cloud israel unless you believe in claudius so hashem says but you're not gonna you're not gonna die take the next fiery chariot up to heaven and you're sticking around and you're gonna do three things you're going to come to every pesach cedar you're going to go to every bris mila because i want you to see that these people that you gave up hope on 2500 years ago are still here and still making a pesach seder and still making it bris mila and then at the end you're going to announce meshech's arrival i need a big piece of humble pie for these people that you already gave up hope on these two mitzvahs are the mitzvahs that got us out of mitzrayim and as such they are a bris they're a special power that is uh in the hearts and soul of every jew that these are the most important ones do they stop to think about it maybe not but it but it touches them on a on a on a level that's that's beyond their words to describe anonymous asks is there such a thing as quote don't let people take advantage of you in judaism for example i have a babysitter in my house who watches my child in addition to other children one of the other mothers wanted to leave a half a gallon of milk in my fridge so she wouldn't have to bring milk every day i told her we don't always have room so the answer was no and thinking about it later it's harder for her to bring the milk daily than it is for me to squish an extra bottle into my fridge that's not mine but i was thinking about me because it's my house maybe i should think about her instead okay let's put aside the example let's focus on the question is there such a thing as don't let people take advantage of you in judaism no that's the kinds of requests it means that you look for opportunities to help the reason there are people who are in need is because those of us who want to give want to have the experience to give right okay i've mentioned this in the past there was a time when uh i moved territorial over 30 years ago and i get a call from a girl learning in seminary there weren't so many of them back then and she'd say would i be able to join you for our shabbos meal let me say okay could i bring a friend okay would you like me to come and help thursday night or friday morning whatever we would whichever was better for us they would come they would help peel they would help theirs you know they would help around whatever needs to be done and they came back for the meal they brought a gift and they would help serve clear off the table you know at the end they offered to do the dishes that's what it was like today and can i know her it's much harder for us to have guests because i have a large family and uh in fact uh my children were all talking about how we're possibly going to fit into the house for the seder so if a bunch of uh my kids are coming with their grandchildren they're just there's just no room yeah so um but when you do get a call you know they say uh hi can i come for a shabbos meal um there's five of us we can't split up so like i say it's on rare occasions that i can but i say sure all right they show up for the meal they bring box of candy that they were selling in the uh seminary to bring as a gift you know i have to say entertaining is much easier than it used to be because they all sit and talk about themselves nobody is particularly interested in talking to me me and my wife clear off we serve at the end they say thank you very much and they leave there are those people who feel taken advantage of but you notice that when avraham avinu walked the malachim out and he came back sarah never said you believe the nerve of these guys they never offered to help serve they didn't offer to clear off it was just the opposite i remember we're waiting hoping for an opportunity to have guests now having said that is it possible that people will take advantage of your good nature yes there are people who are constantly asking to borrow money and they have no intention of paying it back they it's possible for people to abuse your good nature but of course you have to you know for example it says if you see uh the person has to unload his donkey so you should go and help him help him unload it and it says help him meaning if he sits down and folds his arms and says well you have a mitzvah download my donkey so go ahead yeah you don't have that obligation what's this if the person wants to work together with me that's one thing but if the person says well you have a mitzvah you do it you take care of it yeah i have a friend of mine he had a bunch of little kids and they kept they were sick a lot of times now the way it works here in israel if you decide to become a doctor here and you get paid by the koopa yeah for the health fund so um you get one payment of a very small amount for three months it doesn't matter how many times that person comes to you you already got your payment for the three months so at one point the doctor who was a harvard medical school graduate says to him you realize you've been here 17 times this month and i think you paid me 23 shackles you know for the for the three-month period and the guy said what do you want from me you decided to make aliyah you should have stayed in america and gone to the private practice you would have been rich but you decided to live the zionist dream so i'm taking advantage so uh so over there that's what the doctor does doctor cures doctor helps when a person when a person's in a position so as i told earlier when i was at the project inspire convention and people kept coming over to talk to me did i feel i was being taken advantage of absolutely not i was so happy that i had this house that people wanted to talk to me that i was able to help them but could you find yourself in a position where people um abuse your good nature yes it is there is such a thing but uh you gotta think very hard over i have an opportunity to do a chasse and do i want to lose that because it's going to inconvenience me or is there somebody who with poor intentions is taking advantage of of my good nature like i know this family that didn't have a lot of money and uh there was a family that was always complaining they didn't have any money so even though they didn't have a lot they kept inviting them over for shabbos and they would feed their whole family you know week after week after week and at the end it turns out they were saving up to move into their villa that's why they weren't liquid at the time and i have to say they felt a little taken advantage of because you know you were in a position you just didn't want to spend your money on it you know so uh so the answer is in general the concept of hey i don't need this we don't have that you know why is it my problem we don't have that but is it possible for people to be able to abuse your good nature it is possible anonymous rights i've noticed that many from people especially men from a yeshiva ship background have a sloppy unkempt appearance spills unclean clothes lack of hygiene why is that what happened to cover the torah why don't they care about looking right so um i have a policy when it comes to answering these kind of questions and that is do not defend the indefensible when people say how do you explain jews who throw rocks at people the answer is it's wrong and has been condemned by every uh religious authority there's nobody who supports it these people are wrong when people ask me how do you explain from people who smoke i tell them it's wrong i'm not going to do any apologetics and i've tried over the years somebody once said to me in a group they said well there's never been any studies done of people who smoke for six days and let their lungs rest for one day okay i'll try it next time i'd ask the question i gave that answer and the cardiologist stood up and said i have the numbers for you rabbi they die like everybody else so if you're asking me is there a defense for people being slavingly the answer is no do you know why you wear a hat for darkening it's it's an act of covered so if you have a hat that's crushed and and dusty and has footprints on it you know to pull out of the gamak in the back of the room you know it's not much of a covered yeah when i learned to cover him and okay we we're a little crazy i've tried to establish that over the years yeah used to say that a guy coming to learn in yeshiva should be coming like a junior executive working in a firm and when guys were in kylo he used to tell them you know you have to wear a tie it's out of cover you have to conduct yourself properly is it an obligation it's for sure an obligation now if you want me to be malama's course i'll be malamaz and say that there is a concept of being mavato the mathias in order for you to be in honor of um the gemara that they cite for this is wherever yeshua uh is asked by the daughter of the king why are you so ugly so he says well why do you keep your where do you keep your father's wine in earthenware vessels they're ugly why don't you keep them in beautiful vessels of gold and silver she says you know you're right put some golden silver and they all spoil so she understood that the outer appearance does not guarantee that the inner contents are going to be better so he says so how come the other ham aren't as ugly as you he says if they were they'd be big so there is such a concept and rehym briscoe was known that he would take that approach can i honestly tell you that the average slumper yeshiva guy has a philosophy behind it nope he doesn't but they're in a type of uh lifestyle where nobody cares and when you're in a lifestyle where nobody cares you know i had a girl learning in seminary uh in israel and she used to say listen i'll come once a week to you to do laundry and uh i'll help around the house okay as the year went on it was once every two weeks eventually it was once a month i said what happened she goes you know you live in in seminary long enough your standards drop you know so you pull something out of the shelf you're like that's not too bad [Laughter] because you're with a bunch of people nobody cares and you see by the time it hits wintertime you see them wearing this like this ski hat pulled down over their head they don't even bother doing their hair you know and they're wearing like the sweatpants under the skirt you know they're shuffling all they're missing is a baby carriage filled with garbage to push down the street and mumble to themselves foreign [Laughter] so um you know when you live in that kind of environment where nobody cares about it so you tend not to care about it either um but it's just it's just uh you know when you're in a society where they're like that i used to have a girl in seminary she would get all dressed up put on her makeup every single day that she came to class and she stood out yeah uh you know because most people didn't you know and she said because i feel like the way that abbas torah conducts herself is important yeah and that's what they told us you're going to represent torah you have to go around dress nicely and like i say if you live in a place where nobody cares about it so after all you don't care about it so if hanuktella who is one of my heroes told me the following story and this is so kind of teller because he's he's that person who always goes the extra mile his son had a rabbi who was a very good rabbi but all the kids made fun of him for exactly these reasons he was dirty he he smelled he was unkempt so khan hotel came uh waited till school was over and he said to him i want you to know that you're probably the most effective rebbe my ever my son ever had and it kills me that you're less effective than you should be for silly reasons he pulls out a bag he says this is toothpaste and this is a toothbrush and this is mouthwash and this is soap this is shampoo and this is deodorant i'm going to tell you what to do with these things because you're too good to let people put you down for silly things like this me i would have made fun of him behind his back but like i said hotel is one of my heroes you know so uh it's just uh it's it's it's it's just people don't know you know you live in a society where nobody cares so nobody cares and that's what ends up happening and the last one confused wife if men don't like it when their wives repeat the same request why don't they at least make any movement or noise to acknowledge that they heard and understand the first time i'm sorry what i love this question because i think my wife submitted it [Laughter] let me explain to you okay you know when you're talking to somebody and they keep going uh-huh uh-huh my wife is the master of this when my wife is on the phone she is so animated you know and you're listing everything i think what what happened oh my gosh really oh no and goes on and on and everyone's like what happened what happened she's like nothing nothing you know she she's so good at reacting yeah i'm terrible at it and the reason is i'm putting all of my effort into listening to what the person is saying i'll break my train of thought if i keep going uh-huh so when i'm talking to somebody on the phone you have certain people who are insecure who keep going hello hello are you there i was like yeah yeah i'm there there oh because they don't hear me saying anything it's because i'm listening yeah and luckily ever didn't cause manchester united you know when when you're talking you know i have a chance to to also listen yeah but i have another problem and i think men are like this yeah um someone sent me a email about the difference between men and women and one thing made an impression on me it says two men can sit and watch a football game for three hours without either one of them saying a word and neither one thinks that the other guy must be angry at me that never happened with women women if the two of them are saying that no one's saying anything they become like all right thing must be a reason no men are taking it in they're thinking about it so some of my wife asked me a question and i don't answer it right away because i'm thinking about what she said i don't necessarily have an answer right now i'm thinking about it i'm considering it and she's like are you listening to me i was like yeah i'm just thinking about it now this is a big problem with emails because sometimes i get an email which requires some thought what my wife says to me at least write back and say i got the email i will answer you later i don't do that because that's like going aha in the middle of a conversation so i don't answer the email because i'm thinking about it not all emails are have really easy pat answers and i have to stop and think about it so um [Music] it could be very often that that's the reason men are not ignoring you they heard what you said and they're thinking about it they may be planning it out they might be uh deciding how they're going to fit it in and they don't automatically go uh-huh uh-huh women are much better at that now to be fair because i'll say of the 10 levels of speech women got nine of them and we have only one we have to use it carefully we don't have that many words yeah as a gentleman once said to me not that long ago anyway okay well that's it for this week if you want to find out more about the show you can go to my website webeoloski.com you can leave a comment you can sponsor an episode you can still sign up for the fila series which hopefully is going to start after pesach you can send an email you can uh offer to um work on a rubriolovsky show live that's gonna hopefully be taking place around live but overtime we have to plan out where and when and what and hopefully people have more advanced time for it and that's it until next time i am david orlowski and this is the rabbi yolowski show it's the rabbi orlovsky show torah and simcha ready to go the rabbi orlovsky showed knowledge and wisdom will help you grow lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhyme no no it's the rabbi orlovsky show on rabbi orlovsky.com torah anytime you too and more it's love [Music] show it's the rabbi orlowski [Music]