Tefila: Women's Gift, & Listener Feedback (Meaningful Tefila #10 - Ep. 157)

hi this is doug dolowski and welcome to the robert gallowski show you're watching with our friends over at tour anytime wherever you watch or listen to your podcast as always it's a pleasure to have you along and we have a sponsorship this week the episode is sponsored by yitzhak and miriam gindi most mozi shabbat you'll find us sitting in front of the computer watching the raviolowski podcast learning and laughing we appreciate your knowledge and insight and enjoy your humor and wit my gosh i wish my mother was still alive that i could show this to her thank you for inspiring us may you be blessed to continue doing great things for i'm israel in good health thank you so much such a beautiful beautiful sentiment and uh listen it's the people who watch the podcast listen to the podcast and certainly sponsor the podcast that makes this uh possible all right we uh um said in the second to last uh podcast last week we uh for shabba sheera we had on the waterbury boys and uh as always gets a very strong reaction i think people are just happy to have guests because there's only so much of me people could take so um i had finished the tv series now um i have to say that i've done a number of series i did one on choosing a seminary i did one on aliyah yeah nothing i've ever done has gotten the reaction that this has i wanted to read some of the responses that i got and there's two questions that were asked one of which i'm going to spend a little more time on than the other one although both of them are important all right just so you know we're going so this is um if uh if we finish the tv series already then this is the epilogue or the aftermath or the after hours party whatever you want to call it all right on earth to feel this series my husband and i wait for your show each week and crack up together while we listen to it so thanks for the inspiration and the comic relief um i mentioned last last week about steven spielberg um and uh what if he had never made all these movies yeah so uh so the truth matter is that i feel like he could have used those cocos in another direction um and i feel like that's what i tried to do with the coca-cola pearl who gave me i have to tell you um i am a raviolovsky show aficionado i i use the mug and um i uh i have to say i don't think there's anything like this out there which presents torah in a entertaining way and i think that that's so important i'll never forget i was speaking once and bowman's outside who usually yelled at me you know most of my stories are very booming this is giving me muslim but one time i gave one of my talks like i usually do where i wrote a chorus torah and told jokes and stories and like you know and he comes over to me and says you're not fooling anybody you're just an old slobkanik i remember the originals they did the same thing they'd come in they tell jokes they tell stories and then they hit you with the moosa because i know what you're doing as a woman that's one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me so i really try to use the gift that the kurdish baruch who gave me to help uh bring across torah ideas your recent share how to talk to god was simply incredible i always try to convey this over to my seminary students and the way you presented it was amazing i'm going to listen to it again i'm here to hashem and write down the three stages so i can give it over to my girls more clearly um there is few things in this world that i get as much seepage from from knowing that i say something that then uh goes on to help other people i was at a care of toony shabbaton uh some years ago when i first come in almost everybody there was a hosted except for me you know and this one guy comes over to me a cassius fellow and he says listen uh give you a piece of advice don't do any of your regular stuff i said why he says i took it all and i've been saying it over for years and everyone thinks it's mine so people will think you're stealing my stuff i said don't worry i've got more than enough material but i'm always thrilled people say to me can i take this joke and i take this story i said 100 if i've ever said anything that people can gain from i think that's wonderful by the way on that subject um the last shop is in february i'm going to be at the project inspire convention in connecticut and the shabbos after that the first shop is in march i'm going to be by my good friend robert summers in um anche ms in los angeles if anyone wants to come i happen to have that week open so if anyone's interested in uh you know booking me for any events uh you know shiorim uh children's parties uh bar mitzvahs uh i i can do the catering too by the way i don't have to do the speaking uh i am available i do driving i have car anyway so uh i will be available for that and um uh that's uh that's coming up just uh just to let you know about that and there are some people who are working on the idea of having a rabbinovsky show live so we will let you know if that comes into fruition where we will actually have a venue and we'll have the ruby alaska show and and we'll have some guests musical guests tell her guests i don't want to reveal uh what's in the works but if that sounds like something that you might be interested in let me know uh i continue this is the way i talk to hashem as well and i literally see him talking back to me each day i just had to thank you wishing you health hatslacher and all the good in the world tzipi and gilberg and family next i just want to say thank you for the great series on fila i went to a regular base yakov all my life and the takeaway that i got from many of our classes on tefila even though i'm not sure this is what the teachers meant to convey is that women don't have to dive in and therefore i had basically only dominated on and said moda ani during the week recently i decided that i must start davening at least brachos with more regularity and this series helped me shift my mindset thank you again and i'm looking forward to the next episode sincerely anonymous i just want to point out what shapiro says you know men make abraha shalom when we make abraham so no and he said shot is you made me like your rut zone because the two things that women have as their strongest ability is the ability to have children and the ability to daven there's a special power that women have to darwin and he says just like a kurdish borough who does things out of his rut zone and not because he's commanded so too women do things kira so no you do the davening and having children they're not not they're not matsuba the way a man is but they comes to them naturally and so they do it out of a rut son i really enjoyed your thriller series it was very practical enjoyable to listen to it help improve my cavanaugh and davening thank you uh i just wanted to thank you for the weekly podcast i've been listening since your first one i was a nursing student on my way to clinicals early in the morning while it was still dark out and your podcast gave me the energy inspiration and comic relief for the day now as a nurse i look forward to listening to them on my hour drive home and traffic i have gained so much especially enjoying the series and feel it onwards we're victor miller's at sal quote of the that if you have something good and want to keep it thank hashem for it i made that point during the series i've been struggling recently with filo the series couldn't have come at a better time thank you for addressing the topic in a realistic not idealistic manner what a brilliant observation i uh i i always say things have to be practical the mice you gotta be real and groundhog day is an amazing movie it happens to be uh shalom rove i chanced upon one of your podcasts while driving as a as a rule i should point out my podcast should not be used while driving yeah um pesach chrome told me he was listening to one of my shirm once on a cassette tape back in the old days he said he almost got into an accident uh robert label shaffman told me he used to jog listening to my shiram and he once laughed so hard he fell down and hurt himself so so please they come with a warning label yeah um i was really moved and something struck a chord with me and i felt the need to reach out i'm a vray and bass manager gavoia in lakewood learning stock have a beautiful family a beautiful marriage bar hashem however it's embarrassing and hard to admit but i just can't get myself to darwin i had a few rough years as a baker before i got married and dealing with personal things i had a lot of animosity towards hashem i got professional help and baruch hashanah i'm in a much better place during this time however i stopped diverting and putting on finland i was far from off the derek i just felt that hashem wasn't listening and therefore thought why bother let me get an extra hour of sleep in the morning not waste my time well i've moved past that stage i still have guilt and shame that though as a full-fledged jew learning getting my smile actually and raising a colo family i can't bring myself to the simplest tenant of yiddish guide of davening and putting on filling i'm obviously embarrassed about this and feel like i'm living a double life does the rav have any ages for me yeah yeah first of all tremendous strength you know the the mark of greatness is not when everything goes well it's when you fall down and pick yourself up so yes to you um the uh advice that i give you is you have to change your image of a kurdish baroku and like i say that was goes back to our concepts of looking at all the good that hashem does and focusing on that and you know if we look at the bad then that's what we remember and if we look at the good and we say coach barclay's done so many good things for me and we use that as a basis to change our image of a kurdish borough you know all those nice cover time stories and zalman order box stories and all those sweet nice godollum stories you know that's only because they were a shadow of a shadow of a shadow of a shadow of a shadow of a shadow of a shadow of a counterpart who's really much much nicer than all that he's just he has bad press so we really have to move past that it's very hard i would like to dedicate this song uh parody which i just wrote uh to revere davidolovsky schlitter in honor of his dedication to clay shell and to increasing coverage um and i hope it could be meaningful to many fabiolavsky would sing it on his podcast uh it goes to home in the range and this song is a little long for now but we will uh we will miss him in the future and we thank you moshe fogel one of our uh our regulars um listeners and correspondents so amit hashem i will and i want to thank you for that we were greatly wowed in capitals by the chevak segment and are deeply grateful for the awareness i thought capitals i was a grateful person but actually after listening last night with my daughters thank you everyone ask if you're a great mention of kids in their ways i find myself thanking hashem this morning 10 times as much loved this whole series and there are many exclamation marks afterwards that is so wonderful imagine sitting around with your children listening to the ravioli show and i i get i get uh quite a few emails from uh children and uh who appreciate the show and that's basically the level that i'm shooting for because that's more or less where i am so i'm so glad for this excellent content love this one thank you and i just wanted to thank you for the podcast the tv series i have watched more than once very enjoyable you mentioned about going through twila line by line perhaps you can throw in a little something after the question and answer segment so the problem is that i've got so much stuff that i want to do that after a while this podcast is going to be like the last one an hour and 15 minutes and although that sort of flowed it's it's a lot of time for people to dedicate so i don't know that a podcast is really the best um forum to really go through trilla so i had an idea and i discussed it with my producer mccoyle and i had the idea of maybe making a online interactive sheer unfila now i have two right now on masilshusharm and i have a daphiomi all of these that are uh online and interactive with participants if there are people out there who would like me to start a tv series where we will mamish go through the thriller line by line that's that's a very very large undertaking that's not something i can do in a few minutes at the end of the podcast uh go to my website ruby alaska.com contact and uh you could uh leave a message and say i would be interested in such a sheer and um the uh time that you would be available to do it and if we have enough people i'll do that and if not then you know from time to time i'll try to speak about some more ideas of twilight okay two bits of business that are left here two questions that i i need to address a few podcasts ago you mentioned the concept of davening even without cavanagh and one of the various reasons stated was because of when the moment strikes you you want to know how to dauven my question is when do these moments happen when do you feel a tremendous urge to dive in and communicate with hashem thank you anonymous age 13. so life is so interesting because you're not even aware of these moments the reason we're not aware of these moments is because we uh we don't we don't keep our eyes open for them there's a possibility which miller says i passed by the field of a lazy man and i saw it overgrown and weeds and the wool fell down and i looked and i said a little sleep a little slumber a little lying down you know and you lose everything now he said i walked past the field of a lazy man and i saw i saw it it was overgrown weeds and then i looked what does that mean that means that everyone saw the field but malek looked again and he understood there was something else going on over here so i give an example when i mentioned this i think uh when i was talking about that when i started my re thinking at each field of something special that hashem did for me and i was a little a little forced and then one day i went to a school for special children and these were kids who had all kinds of different handicaps and i saw this one kid they kept putting drops in his eyes i said what's that for he says his eyes don't make tears and if we don't keep adding drops they dry up when i went to milkha i said thank you hashem that my eyes make tears it's not something i would ever have thought of so every now and then you see something that hits you either something very good or something you know problematic or something and and you feel something we usually just you know when we see these things we don't take advantage of them we don't have to think about it yeah life is filled with providence most folks simply shrug it off as mere coincidence something happens they don't even think twice about it so we need to take advantage of those moments and make those moments meaningful to us and that's it just keep your eyes open look for it they'll come to you and that's why sometimes people feel things and they don't know what to do about it but at least if i'm diving three times a day when i open the sitter i can say something i may have told this story uh i've done segal had rented an apartment for the summer and when the people came back he said do you appreciate this view you have such a gorgeous view and if it looks out the window he'd been living there for years he says yeah he says no no no every morning when i got up and i looked out the window i would say a passage something to acknowledge the fact that i just saw something beautiful just experience something wonderful you see sometimes people like uh football players they reach the end zone they throw down the ball they fall to their knees yes thank you god you know it's unbelievable when those moments hit you if you have feeler as a part of your day you can take advantage of it and the final point that i want to make so uh i want to read the end to the question from the nurse who wrote in was wondering if you could talk a bit about women's role in tefila as a mother of young kids it's hard to have formal tefila and while you have focused on learning how to have kevana and fila and focusing on the words it's not all applicable to women as a married woman it has been hard to get used to the fact that i don't have time for formal tvilla and i'm sure many women have similar feelings would love some physique in this area so that's really i told you it was one thing i wanted to talk about a little bit today is sort of a conclusion and that is exactly this conundrum that many women have especially those with young children now i want to start by telling you an amazing thing there's a rule a general rule and that is isaac bermitsu put them in a mitzvah if you're involved in a mitzvah then you put it from another mitzvah taking care of your children is the greatest thing in the world there is nothing greater than that i i once heard robertson hela say if you ask someone who's the most powerful person in the world they'll tell you the president of the united states if you ask them who had the greatest impact on your life they'll tell you your mother and uh there's no question about it you know it's taking care of taking care of our children is is a sacred sacred sacred duty now my friend remember menachem nissel has a book called rickshay lave which deals with the halakhas and some of the hashgaffer of women's tv and he has their achuva from or scheinberg that's all where he says like this a woman is running around after her little kids she's exhausted and she finally gets them in for a nap and she's got half an hour she could daven or she could sit down put her feet up with a cup of coffee read something and relax what should she do misheimberg said she should definitely have the cup of coffee and put her feet up that's called isaac mitzvah i i may have told this story it's a very disturbing story those are the best the best stories are the most disturbing ones um there was this woman who's not almonded with a bunch of little kids their mama's starving to death not not like we talk about i haven't i haven't eaten today you understand because i you know i only had a small breakfast you know yeah i was starving and someone had rahmanus and gave her an egg hard-boiled egg and she thinks what am i going to do and cut up and give everybody a little piece it's not going to really help so she goes into her room shuts the door and she eats the egg herself and the children are knocking at the door saying mommy mommy what are you doing and she said i'm making you an ema i fly a lot and uh i know the uh announcements you know pretty well by heart by now that's why a lot of people don't bother listening to them anymore because they know them yeah they keep trying to cover with more creative ways to try to get you to watch to listen so um uh the announcement they always make in case of a drop in cabin pressure air masks will fall from the compartment above um pull the mask towards you to start the flow of oxygen make sure you put it on keep it you know secure always make sure and put on your mask before helping children who are traveling along with you of course our instinct would be first to put it on the children and then we pass out who's going to take care of the children so first you got to make sure that you take care of you so you're right now the problem is i'm guessing from your letter that you are a woman women live with tremendous regret all the time most women have at least sometime during the day when they do this are you asking they're regretting something yeah so my wife doing it you know i said what's the matter because i don't know one of our kids the ghanana thought we should hold her back and she was very smart and she became the oldest in her class and you know and it's not you know the whole thing i don't know if i did the right thing and i said she's 20. let it go [Laughter] but women don't women regret over and over again yeah so uh so it's easy to say you know you should you should let things go but it as people tell me sometimes easier said than done and i said everything is easier said than done except for krishna where in the saying is the doing anyway so um there is very much an all or nothing attitude and i always stress just because you can't do everything doesn't mean that you can't do anything i'm sure i've told the story over before it was in the first chicken soup for the soul this guy is walking along the beach and he's taking starfish that have come up in the beach and he's throwing them back into the water and the guy says what are you doing he says well if they stay on the beach they're going to dry up and die so i'm putting them back into the sea and he says but there's thousands of starfish and this is happening on beaches all around the world you can't make a difference and he picks up another one and throws it in and says made a difference to him so just because i can't do everything doesn't mean that i can't do anything more just because i can't do everything doesn't mean that i'm off the hook whatever i can do i can do so people say i have no time to dive i said can you say someone else right three minutes five minutes can you say krishna can you say the first paragraph can you say the first line yeah but that's nothing no that's not nothing that's called the first line of krishma it it there's so much that we can do in a small way i told this story years ago but uh children watch uh and listen but they do both of those with their eyes [Laughter] they don't listen so much when you talk but they but they listen by watching and uh my wife noticed at one point that my daughters weren't davening so she said i could get up and make a big speech or i could come out into the living room while they're all hanging out there and and that's what she would do every day she would dive in and sit down afterwards and say her to help and one by one they all came and joined them over time because people listen by watching you know doing this meal or ear when you when you see something it's more dramatic anyway one time my wife was reading the paper just to give you an idea how kids watch everything she's reading the paper and one of my kids said what are you doing she says i'm reading the paper he says no no no your lips are moving she says okay i heard a sharon feeler that says they give you a list of names of people to dive in for and we think that like uh you know okay so during fila we have to pull out the list he says but if you see a little sign that says diving for so and so you can write on the spot say it so in the newspaper over here it says please dive in for so and so for a foolish lama and i right away stopped and uh said a little parakeet to helen and uh said so-and-so should have a forced labor and my kids are like so impressed but okay but i don't have to sit down with a long list you know and write down the name of every sick person and right on the spot yuka davin so if a person sets themselves up for failure which is what we usually do and therefore we say well if i'm going to darwin so i got to say brachas and i got to say to zimbra and i got to say birkas krishma and i got to say krishma and i got to uh you know do the uh shmone s-ray you know and ashley voltsion yom might tell him afterwards the asari sadibro's the thirteen honey moments you know pasha someone you know i got a whole list of things i have to say is i don't have enough time no you don't but just because i can't do everything doesn't mean i can't do anything and if all i do is makable and say israel hashem hashem that's good that's a very good thing to do and if you can just do the first three brackets of shimano azure that's also a good thing to do and if you could just do shimon ashrae that's a good thing to do but don't drive yourself crazy and just because i can't do everything and therefore getting to your uh specific question how do i have kavanah the answer is okay whatever i say i can have a kavanaugh for the longest sleekers of the year is an heir of rosh hashanah now rosh hashanah there's a lot of uh sleek rosetta and there are there are certain yeshivas where they just say one slicker but they say it very slowly with kavona and that's what they do they feel like a little bit with kavanagh is better than a lot without kavanaugh that's how we should do it so you're right if i'm going to try to do all the dividing without cavana very quickly or i could do a small part of it with kavona that's much better and it's not it's not just i have to get through all the words i don't know if you've ever seen this i've seen it somebody has to go to the bathroom but they're in the middle of this one yesterday they don't want to stop you know you're not allowed to doubt if you have to go to the what are you doing what are you doing you know but we don't stop to think so therefore where do we learn out the halloween women have a natural ability of tvla and that's why david melech was the one who wrote safe at the hill and why because he was the most woman-like because you know in the different spheros uh malchus represents woman and that's the reason that we say shabbos malkasa the shabbos queen not the shabbos king because malchus is feminine malchus you work for six days and the seventh day you know you enjoy what you did in those six days so too the man makes a contribution to the process which the woman then internalizes and uses to produce life in this world so the the woman has that ability to be macabre and to be able to produce things and that's what tevilla is fila is going more in the inside of you women don't need a minion per se men do men need group sports you know yeah a lot of chanting and screaming you know why is it bow and arrow because how far the arrow will go depends on how far back you pull the uh bowstring so the more you reach inside of yourself the more effective you're going to be and therefore that uh effectiveness of reaching inside of yourself is so powerful so therefore don't worry about quantity don't worry if it's five minutes but five minutes of fila during the day that you focus on is more meaningful than 45 minutes that you plop here and there and i'm i'm running around and i'm trying to concentrate so uh women have this gift of trilo it comes naturally like i mentioned show sonic here so no it's something that's natural to a person don't squander the gift and like i say if you can only use it a little bit that's okay there'll come a time when the kids won't be little they'll be big then you'll first note cyrus you'll need to diamond [Laughter] but uh you'll have time you'll have time that's the uh that's the uh evolution of our lives when we're little we're busy we're running around taking care of those children and when the children get bigger then we're running around taking care of the grandchildren but you can find tell them don't bring by the kids until you have that option you don't when their own uh kids running around so uh yes hashem as we say in this country gamsayavar will uh mr move on to uh to something else and uh coach brocco should give us uh give us strength and now we come to the part of the program where we answer your questions anonymous asks how do you stay motivated it's a that's a very good question yeah um i've mentioned this in uh past shows um i suffer from depression it's not so bad now but when i was younger it was very very uh difficult for me to function in fact i had six months at one point in my life when i i couldn't leave my room i it was so overwhelming today i would have been on medication but back then they just said cheer up that was the uh that was the process so um uh so i had to learn how to change my mindset and i would work to become to become happy and to change it so uh part of this was i had a lot of trouble getting up in the morning getting up in the morning was not easy for me first of all i come from a knight family i was the only second grader in my class who used to watch johnny carson at night he came on at 11 30 at night but the whole family was around you know you know when you have only little children it's easier to put them to sleep when you have older children and little children so harder to get the little children to stay in bed because the house is still going there's still a party going on so um so to to you know we would get up when the bus came and start beeping and my mother would scream at the bus is here and you know and one person would go out to store them and the other one went like you know throwing i'd be running out you know buttoning my shirt and carrying my briefcase it wasn't an ideal situation so um uh the way i managed to get up in the morning uh was two things um one was the khajban and nefesh uh that the messil susharam suggests to keep track it's a variation of the method of seifer judgment and nephesh that i used but that's not the motivation that's the method the motivation was i would say how am i going to feel at 11 o'clock in the morning when i get out of bed terrible terrible so eso reyes anointed a smart person sees the future and i would try to put myself into that situation of how i'm going to feel if i don't do this that's the motivation you know the motivation is that i know uh that i'm going to be more unhappy if i don't do this now that's on things like getting up in the morning and doing what i have to do right uh when i was a um ncsy regional director i had an advisor steve nyman a gem of a fellow i don't know if if he's ever watched the show we haven't been in touch in years but he's just uh he's one of my heroes anyway so uh so he um he was one of these guys who was the perfect advisor he stayed up with the kids and he and he talked to them and he took them out to ball games remember their birthday set the cards made just perfect and then somebody else would talk to a kid and he would go to yeshua somebody else would say keep shopping he never closed the deal you know so i said to him once you know how do you stay motivated how does this not get you down and he said to me because my job is to do what i'm supposed to do i'm not responsible for the results so i'm going to keep doing what i'm doing whether i made anybody from or not now coach barclay knows you that if you don't get to see results you know you'll just go into your father's flower business by the way yes i have full disclosure anyway and and make money and live a much more comfortable life you know so hashem has to show you the results so i don't care that he takes my guys and gives them to you to take credit for it because i don't need that you need it um i read you just through some of the responses i got from the tila series um i have many many more of people who took out time to write to me to say how much they enjoy this podcast and like i say from all walks of life of people who get physical you know what that means to a person like me that i i'm i say things and it gives people physic and their and and it adds to their lives that's a tremendous motivating force and everybody has this they just don't always get to see it you don't know the impact you have on people's lives um there was a film that was made in the 1930s i think 40s maybe that'd be the 40s called it's a wonderful life with jimmy stewart and he gets into trouble whatever happens he he did lots of good in his life but he gets into trouble he says i wish i'd never been born so this guardian angel shows him what the world would have been like if he was never born and it's frightening and that's every one of us we don't know the impact that we're having in this world i i'm very lucky i get to see it what can we do when waiting between washing and emoji [Music] when i was in yeshiva while we were waiting for everybody to finish watching we uh we hummed a and uh you know i was looking at the bread in front of me so i i was not hesitant but uh what a wonderful opportunity to uh to just let the music uh move you and prepare you that's what i do what would you say to many people who are disappointed that the corona pandemic didn't end with the coming of the mashiach i would quote them the end of fiddle on the roof rabbi they said as they were being kicked out of their little village of anatefka wouldn't this be a good time for the messiah to come yes but until he does we'll just have to wait for him somewhere else um i understand the corona pandemic was rough but how do you think the jews felt at the end of the holocaust in the dp camps gosh if there was anybody who thought now meshech should come yeah there have been many times in history and the answer is the gemara says meshech comes from hesradas not when you're expecting him until then we'll just have to wait from someplace else we put one foot in front of the other and we keep going and he'll come when he comes well as my father used to say we'll get there when we get there [Laughter] don't worry you'll know about it yeah um director of awesomeness asks hi my question is one what are your thoughts regarding the opinion that african americans are from ham and should therefore be slaves too do we think it's okay to have young kids coming home repeating some extremely racist things as a student i have heard firsthand so um is the toy racist yeah of course there is a concept of racial identity ishmael is like this uh asav is like that moab is like this yeah we have different uh terms there's on and then there's called goi yeah am is a political entity lashon represents a culture and is a racial determination and therefore for example the gemura says uh how do you know if you're descended from avraham yitzhak nyakov and not from the aravrav jews have certain qualifications yeah buying a wholesale is not one of them contrary to popular belief but there are different identifying traits within uh every arm and that's why when a coach barracuda went to every nation every guy and offered them the torah so he mentioned the mitzvah that he knew that based on their national identity they would have trouble with and so although it's a generalization but there are certain traits just like a jew can deaden certain traits inside of himself but you might have them automatically so too yeshmal has certain inherent traits asap has certain inherent traits and everybody has certain inherent traits uh all of them can become garem all of them can join the jewish people and it uh and it it means you take on a nuna shaman a new identity etc but the the certain qualities that are there may still be part of your genetic makeup and it's just a reality and to try to ignore that there are any racial differences the is is uh is not fair to the people so therefore you know in certain um certain racial groups have a higher tendency towards heart disease certain racial groups we jews you know um there are certain diseases that are known as jewish diseases that we try to test for beforehand because we just know that uh that's we have a tendency towards it can they affect other people as well yes so having said that there is a certain jewish identity um can we say that all africans are from ham and therefore be slaves not even all the people from khan were supposed to be slaves the klola was put on to canaan and not even all the canaanim and that's why um avraham avinu says to eliezer my son can't marry your daughter because i'm barak and you're aror why because you're from uh canaan but he says to uh eliezer if um if my family says no then go take a wife from ana eshkol and mamre but they were also kananin and says but the fact that they weren't slaves meant that the klola was not khal on them so it doesn't mean that everybody from ham is supposed to be a slave the smart service explains that the people who became slaves it's because the the club was given because they were so out of control they needed control imposed as we know ham was so worried that we'd have to divide up the world three ways and if there was another kid it would be four ways he castrated his father to make sure there wouldn't be any other kids that's a guy who is so out of control that he needs control imposed upon him from the outside but that doesn't mean everybody from those people are in that situation so somebody who ends up being an advent says this fascinates that's how kurdish obviously felt that this person needed that but not that we have a mitzvah to enslave these people that's a mistake should kids come home repeating racist things no because the things that they're repeating are not recognizing that the torah tells us your smiles like this and uh and uh and asap is like that they're they're just nasty anti-race things that people are repeating and uh we are the victims of it uh more than anybody else the most racially motivated attacks have been against jews um in america and the fact that uh people attack us you know because we're jews that should give us the sensitivity that we don't attack other people because of that can we recognize that they're racial differences of course but uh but to therefore disparage somebody any any one of these people can turn around and become gayroom and there are african-americans who have become gayra and uh some very prominent people in the firm community and uh it's uh you know i am i don't know who he is exactly um i'm not into sports but there's some black basketball player who converted to orthodox judaism and evidently uh he announced he's ready now for a show so if anyone knows a very very tall girl [Laughter] so no we don't teach our children to be racist or to say anything bad about anybody else someone said to me why is a derogatory term i said it's not just means you know nation if it's turned if have turned into a bad connotation it's only because uh of of our history that unfortunately the nations of world have not been very nice to us but no that doesn't mean that we should therefore cast aspersions on it and yeah we should discourage it so before we conclude i want to uh wish a reforeshlammer to our producer's mother in the hama bhatia bas rifkadina who has decorona and if you have time when you see this just say a little tell him and uh and uh have her in mind she should have a fuller foolish lemur and that's it for this week if you want to find out more about the show you can go to my website rubioski.com where you could uh um leave a comment uh submit a question sponsor an episode somebody i just met somebody today they said they want to sponsor an episode i said go to the website and click on the sponsor an episode that's that's the way you do it and as we mentioned if you would be interested in the fearless series that i would do i would go through the davening as we mentioned line by line and try to save shot and get a little deeper insight so please write in and tell us about that if anybody would like to uh um book something for that week uh the end of february beginning of march i will be in america then uh opportunities abound and that's it for this week i'm doug dolowski and this is the raviolovsky show it's the rabbi orlowski show torah and simba [Music] knowledge and wisdom will help you grow lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhyme it's the rabbi orlovsky show on rabbi orlovsky.com torah anytime youtube and more it's rabbi orlovsky show torah and simple show till next time till we meet again throughout my orolowski show it's the rabbi yolowski show it's the rabbi yorlovsky show