Say You’re Sorry (Ep. 253)

hi this is dski and welcome to the rowski show whether you're watching with our friends over to any time whever you watch or listen to your podcast as always it's wonderful to have you along um and please don't forget to like share subscribe and comment when you do those things it pushes up the algorithm and makes it possible for more people to be able to uh to uh find out about the podcast every now and then I'll get an email from someone says I just found this podcast it's been around for six years just found out about it you know I went to the beginning I've listened to all of them as the eagle said This Could Be Heaven or this could be [Laughter] hell and we have a sponsor this week sponsored by Beth and miti free in memory of our father Milton Nord of Ard Hills New York thank you so much and uh thank you to all of our sponsors because you make this podcast possible and when we went out of sponsorships then I'm just going to sit here and talk to myself and uh by the way I do that all the time anyway I'm just constantly talking to myself and an hour a week we film it but I mean theoretically we could have the uh rabi alamy Channel you know there was a there was a movie called The Truman Show where they this kid was abandoned in a movie uh studio and they adopted him and they made an entire show about his life and they just showed him 24 hours a day The Truman Show so um so uh that could just be me we just have the ravski podcast 24 hours a day yeah luckily I talk in my sleep now it's not so interesting because I had they had a CPAP machine so a lot of what I say sounds like this I basically sound like a a Bane from The Dark Knight but um turns out I need a caap machine it's uh uh I was always tired so the doctor said uh you should go and um and and check take a sleep apnea test so uh I did and they said n you only stop breathing seven times an hour that's not a lot he says but when you do you stop for a half a minute and your oxygen set atation goes down to 16% now when I had Co they made you check your oxygen saturation and if it went under 90 they said to go to the hospital and mine goes down seven times an hour when I'm sleeping to 60% they got me the CPAP machine which is just the most nightmarish way to live the rest of your life please do not remove the mask it will be very very painful for you anyway so uh it's also tough like when if you want to just like you know go to sleep like just lie down you know you have to hook yourself up to a machine every time you know anyway I don't have like the best mask because like the best mask was more money and I said I'm not spending money on that you know I like the cheap Chinese mask that's the way I am why do I need it for that's how I I I told you that story I'll tell it again because I just love the story when I was the surgeon came in it was discussing the surgery so he says okay Wednesday morning we're going to bring you in and uh the operation will be about four hours and then you'll be unconscious until Friday so my daughter was getting married in like two weeks you know so they had a lot of things to do and to plan and they were talking about who's going to be in the hospital and when and I said did you hear the man I'm going to be uh you know I've going to be unconscious go home take care of what you have to show up Friday morning tell me you're outside my room saying to him I'll never know the difference and the doctor says I didn't know we still had those and then I realized my father would have said the same thing my grandfather would have said the same thing you know so my father used to tell a joke it was his favorite joke his father's on the deathbed the children are gathered around and they say Dad don't worry about it we're going to have a beautiful levia for you you know we'll get you a big fancy hearse we'll get a limousine for the family it'll be very nice second son says what do we need a limousine for we all have our own cars get a hearse for Dad and we'll all take our own cars and the third son says what do we need a hearse I got a station wagon I'll put dad in the back and everybody can drive the father says get me my pants I'll walk no I'm not spending money on some fancy mask well what for cuz they need it every night when I [Laughter] sleep anyway be that as it may um so uh no idea why I brought that in but it doesn't matter uh we are coming towards the uh to the end of the year and so this m shabas We Begin saying SOS uh I don't remember what I say I've I've pointed this out in the past I hear people quote me saying things that I have no recollection of ever saying and uh I don't know if I I don't even know if I spoke about this recently I don't know if I talked about this but you know my daughter was listening to a sheer uh and the person quoted me saying something I don't have any recollection of ever saying or even talking about it was the gar with vpra where it says vpra would uh you know uh have this one t had to teach him something 400 times and one time the kid was distracted and he had to do it another 400 times and a Bas came out and said to pra you know because you you know taught this kid so many times and then you so diligent you'll either get you know long life or a guaranteed place in ALA so the person giving the share said so why did we pray to get the BOS call why didn't the boy get the BOS call says rowski gave an answer once he says because it didn't want to have to repeat itself 400 times that's a great answer I don't ever remember saying it I hear people quote things to me I have no recollection of it but uh um so I know I wanted to talk about SAS with is coming up and so I did a little search uh in my own uh on my own uh channel to see if uh I'd ever spoken about SOS and apparently I had spoken about it but I didn't do what uh what I hope I'm going to do now uh for your benefit and I hope it is for your benefit uh because uh one of our um our Avid listeners he wrote in and he said you spoke about how you would sit down with your daughter every day before SOS and go through the SOS and underlined what we say what we skip what we do how we do the whole thing maybe you could do that on the podcast so I uh I said that sounds like a great idea and that's what I planned on doing and then I uh I did a little search and I see I did speak about SAS four years ago so I'm not going to repeat myself I sure am no I'm not going to rep anyway uh just the strangest feeling of deja vu anyway so uh I'm going to point out a few of the highlights that I mentioned that I think are important going into SOS but um uh there is an aspect that I mentioned and that's what uh a listener requested and that's what I'm going to hopefully do with you today but let's start off this year is the shortest possible SOS for those of you who are not SOS oficios you should be very happy to know the minimum amount of SOS are four days and it has to start on Moi shabas and so the only way to get a minimum of four days is if rashash comes out on Wednesday night like this year of course it also means that you're gonna have a three-day y but everything's a trade-off I remember when I was speaking to aarty Friend of mine and I said uh you get to eat rice for you know for PES and he says don't complain to me because of that we have to say for all of I'd rather give up rice for a week so uh so everything's a trade-off as my father used to say yeah so um so this is the minimum amount and uh people have been saying for many years uh probably know what to say although not necessarily there's this new phenomena I cannot wrap my head around and like I say I've been saying SAS for over 50 years and at some point they suddenly decided there are too many SAS and they just start cutting out random SAS and some of them are my favorite SAS and uh I'm really not happy about it so um uh I I have to literally search around to find that say not all Theos but at least all Theos that they used to say when I was in Yeshiva you know you skip certain ones but the rest of them they do say so I'm going to uh go through the uh the SOS this is an opportunity for you to right now go and get your s's book this is the one I've been using for many years it is soft covered it has been taped together but the tape is no longer holding together and this is the one I use and I use this one because I did this one year where I went and I underlined everything particularly when you come to a p and you underline the chorus because it doesn't always have the chorus it usually say one word of the of the what of what you're supposed to repeat and you have to repeat it yeah so um so I have underlined those over the years you can see it over here [Music] yeah and then all it does is write the word Nai so you have to keep going back to that line so I underlined them over the years you know and uh um Arana where there's a lot of SOS so in most of the yeshivas they skip them and they give you out a list of the ones they're going to skip and I wrote that in so over here by giml it says Skip by ladal it has a little circle which means say it so I've been using this for many years and uh gives me uh gives me a um uh you know some sort of a hold what we're supposed to say in the back page over here I wrote the um the uh you know when they to remove the wrote the little text over here goes so um uh uh so I wrote that down it's for me it's it's come in handy I know there are hard covered ones there are ones with perus but uh the this to me is myos and it's you know you have to make sure you have the right tool um when I'm speaking to the younger generation and I try to explain this the only reference that they can possibly use is when you go to olenders to buy your wand so you know the wand every every wizard has his wand that that works best for him although he could use any wand his wand you know is made for him laav um I have fellow I know who's a TOA and um he he got good at it and he decided he wants to be a real Bala and he says there's one place in benra where they have all of the different schas he says you pick up a sh you bring it to your lip he says Nope not that one try this one nope NOP it's Mish the way they describe picking the wand laav you know until you find the shauer he goes that's the one he says I put it to my mouth I never miss a call comes out perfect you know not sure exactly how it works but we all know there are certain ones that work that go better some that go worse so um uh you know you have to work to get it down some people you know they bring in somebody just to do the first set of colors and then they get somebody for the rest of them you know cuz once you've been you know so they're all right the attitude being so far so good anyway so uh if you would like um I'm going to give you a chance to stop the video or the audio or the phone call because I meet people all the time who tell me I don't have internet uh but Torah anytime has an option where you can call up to be able to uh uh listen to sh so uh wherever you are now put it on pause and go and get your SAS book because we're going to go through SAS okay that's what we're going to do doing this a public service I hope that you find this worthwhile I will share maybe a few insights as we go along but uh this is this is a technical thing that I think is important uh I went to the Hebrew Academy of Nassar County and um uh until sixth grade we doed in the classroom and we didn't say t in seventh grade they moved us into the minion right there's a it only went up to ninth grade at the time and so that was the seventh eth and ninth graders had a minion anyway I come in and all of a sudden after sh as everybody sits down and puts their hands on their arms and I look around everybody else in my class they all going so we all got down we put our hands on our arms nobody knew what we were saying or why we were doing it you know so afterwards I asked one of the ninth graders what was that he goes I don't know when I came in in seventh grade I noticed they have but he put their hands on their own I don't know why so uh uh knowing what you're saying and what you're doing and and how to get it down it it changes everything you know um if you've never taken the time to really study the mishkan and what all the parts are and how they go together or the basa mikdash and you never get down clearly what's going on over there yeah you have to Bluff your way through it's true with everything so particularly when it comes to SOS which has such potential to be such a powerful thing and uh very hard to find the right minion that goes at the pace that you want even places where they D in slowly for some reason they do SAS in such a way that you can't possibly keep up with it but one of the ways to help is the night before go through the SAS for the next morning and like I say under underline the line in the pisone you have to repeat look through it sometimes even is to read through the so you have a little more idea what's going on you're not looking at it for the first time and the more preparation you put into it and when it comes to the Kipper the same thing the the don't don't be surprised when you walk in there and you haven't seen anything for a year and you're a little uh you're a little off you know make an effort as best as you can to try to be prepared we spoke about this in the last podcast the more that you are prepared before you go into it the greater is going to be the experience that you have so I'm going to uh hope you've gotten your SAS by now and we're going to go through it now the SOS are um maybe five different types I'm trying to think the first night of s is different than the rest of Theos we do before Madea is different than theas who do beforehand AR Russ sh is the longest SAS is the year and as I mentioned in Yas they have a tendency to skip some of them I've never been in a minion where they say all of the I've never seen them I'm sure they must be um aravim Kipper is a very short one they keep it short on purpose because the aod arav Kipper is to eat and we don't want to keep you in SCH saying a lot of SAS we want you to go out and eat um when I lived uh on roin and I used to die in the Boston um the Boston asul OFA Hartz who now is the Boston arabba back then he wasn't yet um I don't know if this is a minut by but he had big cakes of honey cake and at the end of daving he as you walk by it gives everybody a piece of honey cake you know every K you have to eat you know so uh when it comes to eating I like to try to play to my strength you know it's one of the things I do well so so uh we're going to go through um how you do it I'm going to start with Y sheni because the first night ofos is closer to Theos and not exactly but closer so I'm going to leave that one aside and I'll start with Yom sheni because y sheni uh are going to be more or less the same uh re is already uh so uh we're only going to have two days right we're going to have H Sunday night is a special one there Monday night Tuesday night Wednesday night what am I talking about Wednesday night is rash Wednesday night is rash so that means Tuesday night is rash and uh M shabas right m shabas is Sunday so there Sunday night Monday night that's the only two that we have then it's and then we go to uh s okay if you're looking in your I'm starting with y Shing Ash they the starts Ash and uh kades it's the same way that we start certain other um it has a of there and it's to [Music] right and you do the kades then you come to theim a long collection of and then and it goes for uh about three pages me I get to show early and I start saying this before SAS because there is no way I have never been in a minion maybe it's my dyslexia I have never been in a minion where I can say all three pages of this in the amount of time that they give you right now there might be Min who go slower I'm not sure that I would enjoy those more yeah I would rather be the slowest guy in a minion than be the person who finishes and hangs around for a while and uh and it ends [Music] and uh these Pim it's K to read them through like I say you're gonna have to leave yourself more time I don't know how to get it yeah um if you uh it's also nice to have somebody who knows how to do this SOS there were certain Min where I was actually in the rotation it was very exciting they would let me get up and and and Lead this SOS from time to time yeah so uh um but you know there are certain people somebody asked me once what is geham so Rabbi Sinclair said I don't think geham is hot I think it's just like a crowded room with one of those old air conditioners that don't really cool it off and you just like feel the sweat slowly getting cold on you and you just feel clammy I said well that's not my gam my gam is going to be uh this one old man who used to do SOS he's going to be leading the SOS for all of [Music] eternity anyway f find a place that you enjoy now if you live in a community where there's only one minion suck it up my friends there's nothing you can do about it that's that's life you know you uh you make the best of your situation but if you have a choice find one that goes at a pace that is comfortable for you right so that's the first part now the way we do it during these first days are yeah we're going to do theid aism and that's what we do when I say A pism I mean it has a chorus and it is read responsively and um it's interesting because it's not the normal responsive for example when they say to at the end of ding right and then everybody repeats right that's responsively um here the seor says it first now it's a little tricky here because the first thing the kazin says the first ker and then everybody repeats that and does the next one so you're always one ahead of the kazin so it's a little tricky but we'll see see that when we get to it now um uh most of them are introduced with the paragraph yeah and it usually finishes like this [Music] [Applause] and then everybody [Music] says and then the says and then everyone says together right that's true except for the first one the first one has a different paragraph it does not s k it starts it's a slightly different paragraph otherwise it ends the [Applause] shame now if you're looking in your umos there's then these little things you say at the end ET and then and then the says you say it and then the says [Music] it and then there's a little paragraph Etc and then you say a little paragraph the and I be very clear here I'm saying this is the minita um because I think Min which is they do this after every one of them but by the minita they only do this on the first one so the first one after you did all those do you do these these little paragraphs they do not do it after the other and then you have the first and it goes through the which is not very long and it [Music] ends etc etc they do and then they skip the rest um if you're in the and they're cutting to Theos go to Theos you have to say with theor and that is the ofos is the that's the most important part then you come to the next one next and you go through the whole thing now you come to the pison right so first the goes that's the chorus see it's underlined in mine and so you repeat what he just said and then you do the next part he repeats it and now you're always one paragraph ahead and then and theid and that is SOS on a normal day right now I'm I'm stopping here because I'm going to contrast this to the Chua okay I'm not doing AR right now because that's a that's a whole different bowl of wax so I'm going to Y the beginning is the same I [Music] right okay then the same three pages of yeah Etc now when you finish that there's another that's added in before you get to the um the first right during the first days you go right to the there's another one and it's called the it's the opener it's basically a but it's called an opener yeah and you say that over there and then there's another paragraph then you do the and again on this first one you also do the next paragraph [Music] yeah and even though it's the it's the only time you do that then you come to another now Theos you'll don't see it so much a standard um is uh more or less four lines there's something called AIA and there's com something called AIA um see if I see one here ohim is a which means it is three phrases in it it's a but it has three phrases see three and it goes like that through that um where is Asia flipping around here you'll forget for give me I hope all right well I guess you'll just have to take my word for it AIA is there's only two phrases in it and that's why it's called a right it's got two I'll find it when I don't need it you know how it works you ever hear that expression it's always in the last place you look because why would you keep looking after you found it it doesn't make any sense anyway uh it's the same idea but uh uh so we now do this is just called right because it's that four parts see it's four parts so you do the and then Theos and they skip the rest then they do another that's a regular so by you'll notice that I'm reading like a China man that's why I it's an old expression I don't know if you can allow to say that anymore but uh I'm old so um I read through these SAS the night before so that I don't end up stumbling on the words like I just did then again Kos and then another and this one is the that I already mentioned and the K and the Yos and then you do what's called a schloman schloman is also uh four parts but it has a theme and it has a um and it has so to speak a uh call it a theme not necessarily A Chorus but it's four long things and it follows a certain theme now some of these are in my mind among the most beautiful of all the SOS and I look forward to them every year and like I say these Min that today start to cut out SOS they invariably cut out the schas which I think is one of the beautiful ones so for example on y it's is one of my favorites that's the theme you see and the whole theme is and to me I find that just beautiful um y um I'm sorry I'm doing this basically as a defense of the schomas which they cut out this one is shalom shom shalom shalom shom shom Shalom uh I'm just doing these sham again you'll you'll I hope you will indulge me if you don't just just just go ahead you don't have to you know um there's a beautiful one that goes to the uh of naikin and all those things Etc anyway you do the andem now there's there's a every day there's one that's called the and again this is one of the ones that they skip when they start skipping them when I was in Yesa we always said Thea and every day is another focusing on a and I have to think it's also a very powerful thing followed by and then you come to the pisone like we had during the regular time yeah and uh it has a little chorus Etc then the and Theos okay now I'm going back to the couple of days beforehand because uh we will incorporate this also into a but it's good just to to see it in the first context you start with the you start with the paragraph yeah when you finish that the says and everyone says and then Z is um a whole collection of Pim all of which I find to be very positive talking about um even when you go into Gus I will not be disgusted by you I will never abandon you yeah um circumcise our heart to love you throw water on us and will'll become pure erase all of our sins like clouds erase all our sins for your sake whiten our sins like snow and like wool bring us back to yeah and then the last one is of course the famous song when you're daring a in the morning they almost never have time to sing it sometimes they do [Applause] [Music] b f [Music] now they open the AR KES now for some reason they write theuk out of order it's very interesting this happens to have them in order a lot of them don't and then those are all said um responsibly the rest you say to yourself now you come to the V and again I think they say all the V when I was in Yesa we say One V and then we skip all the rest of the V right and you go through that then there's a paragraph and then they say it again and they say it three times when I was inas that's not how we did it we skip instead to the paragraph then you come to the parts that the only way to get through it is develop some Rhythm when you finish that it's then you come to and then you have and you do the T and then when I was in Yesa they would skip these next Parts a friend of mine who a cousin was very upset because he loves to sing so sing it to yourself but again you're in these kind of they skip it and then you go to the sh and you finish up the and they do aades and that isos during the first days it's a little different you do the and then they have another um when I was in yes we skipped uh some places say some places don't interestingly enough on Yumer um the you sayos throughout yum Kipper and when they say it after the aod that's the so there everyone says it but when I was in they would skip it then they come toaru and the rest of it finishes out as it normally does and uh that's it I'm I'm skipping uh because you know they're different hug him uh there's one y I forgot where it is where they just say one SL for the whole ER ver and apparently they say it h take a very long time to do it but in on average and usually takes about an hour some places it takes 45 minutes if they're much faster um but like I say you can see uh your local minion how they choose to do it uh if anybody needs I will you know put up the yesha list maybe we'll uh we'll post that on on the website if anybody wants to see the list assuming you're saying SAS at home and you can't be there AR to to warm your heart the lastas of the yearh UMES and then just the first paragraph you don't say and then oh it's a I found a see it's only two then and then another andos and then a [Music] pism then and just the first paragraph of not the whole thing and thenu and then theu and then just just that paragraph and then and that's more or less the way the SOS goes um I urge you get your SOS read them through the night before if you're saying at night read them through the early evening before you go to the S the more you are prepared the more you will appreciate it a beautiful ver I heard from every where uh after shim and his son were in the cave for 12 years they came out and they started burning up everything so Hashem says go back into the cave for another year he says why that's what made them come out and burn everything up why would you send them back to the cave very left says you see that if you're not living Torah true it's because you don't have enough Torah not because you have too much Torah the more Torah you have the more you'll be so the more prep pred you are the more meaningful theas is going to be so uh as we start off and say ouros um you should have a that's your for the rest of your life that you underline that you keep with you that you're able to say Theos and like I say it is something that is so rejuvenating for your soul is so positive people have a negative image of SOS and uh I think it's a mistake I think it's a mistake and the more that we appreciate the SOS and we see what we're saying and you and you get to see the words and the Cadence and the music and the Poetry it's it's something that is extremely uplifting okay and now we come to the question and answer portion of our program by Anonymous can we be m without food so the short answer is Mala Mala is supposed to be a suda however having said that a gasa is not called eating so if you indulged over shabus and if you remember when we had our sh series on chabas shies on chabas when we had our series on chabas we mentioned that you know you should pace yourself throughout uh shabas to make sure you can still eat Mala Mala that is certainly True by a 3-day yiff coming up and for those of you in America three 3-day Ys you have to pace yourself because otherwise by the end you'll be so stuffed um that it's m gasa and a gasa is not called eating so if you're so stuffed that you feel like if I eat I'm going to throw up then do not eat it makes no difference if you eat or not it's not called eating so if not so okay so sit down and sayra sing you know do whatever it is that you can do to be light candles whatever you can do to be Mal but ideally it should be a suda but I'll tell you one of the worst things that happened it's not really the worst things but one of the more embarrass it wasn't even more than embarrassing oh it's something that happened to me I was long on director of ncsy and uh the New York Times was writing an article on uh kids who become from and the tensions that exist in the family and the religion editor of the New York Times chose to come and speak to me three times he came each time for an hour and a half and he kept pounding you know and I said to him there's almost never any problems when there is problem it's only because there were problems in the relationship beforehand etc etc and I kept I made all the points all the things made sense by the third time when he was pounding me already I uh I my my defenses were down already from being asked the same qu I see this is how interrogation works you know so finally I said I don't understand what you're asking me you know what happens if the parents tie the kid down and shove a piece of pork down his throat is that what you're asking me I said what can you do you do the best you can but if it's no it's no I mean what do you want he interviewed everybody in this article anybody who had ever worked in Kira from every organization and everybody said everything that I had said and the last quote in the entire article was however Rabbi Rabbi du rovski the regional director of Long Island ncsy said at the end of the day quote if it's no it's no my father-in-law uh who had read the article in the New York Times he says I saw you a quote in the New York Times what did you mean since then I have been very wary of um of the media and I should stress when I say the media I mean also the from media um I used to write a column in the hamia and I never had a bad experience of the Hamad uh and in fact when people would write letters is attacking me they would show me the letter first and say do you want us to publish it or not because if not we won't publish it I thought that is such a men thing to do you know there are some Publications who say it's our job to inform the public no it's not you're from of there's thereover there's so many things that are involved over here you know you're a journalist h that's that's an evil term you know but uh they would show it to me and I would very often write a column in response to it Etc you know they would give me a chance to respond on the spot there's a different Jewish publication that I have had issues with over the years there's more than one I have to say um and uh uh you know they uh they asked me to write an article and I said no I don't want to write for you when I see them print a article with a letter to the editor where the person is attacking R pal because he said something about laich and some labovich wrote and said who's this guy pal I said you write that you publish that Z you know so uh there things like this that just got me so I said no so it was some sort of advice column so they said okay we'll call you up and just ask you the question and then we'll write it up okay I agreed to it uh not full-heartedly but I did anyway they then printed a letter to the editor of the person attacking what I said in this advice column who didn't understand what I was saying they didn't give me a chance to respond and then next time they called me up I said nothing I'm having nothing to do with your publication you know this is this is what you do this is how you distort what people say and you and you allow people to attack people kind of business is this this is not toah I'm sorry this is not Toyah there is no Torah value to print anything that somebody wants to say and attack somebody who who went and and wrote something nine out of 10 times anonymously i i i this infuriates me I don't know if that's coming across I get very upset about this you know so um uh so that's why my experience with the New York Times unfortunately was echoed with a Torah publication that just I was I just couldn't believe that I'm I'm I'm getting the same response over here that somehow we feel it's okay in the name of Journalism to attack people disgusting has no place in the Jewish World these things should be banned from homes I'm sorry it doesn't belong in a Torah home I have not and I've looked for it I've not been able to find terrible things in the hamia they they have a warm place in my heart and therefore I left in my I left a lot of things in my but one of the things I left was anyone who is a family member or consider themselves close to me do not speak to any Jewish publication when I die let them make up whatever they want and put it on and put it in their stupid publication I don't want anybody to participate and give them ammunition that they can twist out of context and and turn it into something horrible disgusting these things should be banned I'm sorry getting a little emotional I I don't Malala just always gets to me all right we have time for another question by Adena R can the r discuss why the shtim have names which mostly reference pain ruin shim Ley and so on sure sure because can you imagine that these two sisters get married to the same guy and they want to build clel that's their goal and they take whatever they're feeling and put it into their children because more than anything they want to build CL so was it competitive in that sense obviously not because when Leia had six children and she saw she was going to have another child and R would only have one she doed that that child should turn into a girl so that ra would have the of having the next shave it so of course they wanted to build CL Isel and so when you have a name like R Vain and there's two ways of understanding that Ru Rashi says could be look now I've given you a son so now you'll love me or look at the difference between my oldest son and y's oldest son who is ASV look at the difference between them yeah and shim is Hashem will hear he hears my pain but it means he's going to hear all of clel Ley is levia now my husband will come to me but not just my husband now will come to he's going to lead us sh Le is going to be the the leader and Yehuda is that you give praise so they took their own feelings and itions and put it into the names that's obviously an important thing you know I know people who do this when they have a child they want a name that they feel is going to express how they feel to you know for the fact that who you know gave me a child some people just you know name you know after their their people in their family came beforehand you know sometimes it's hard for someone to name Yentl but um uh uh but when when uh you know some people just give family names but other people they want to give a name that explain expresses how I feel that kesu uh you know gave me this opportunity something special yeah so um um so the the names function on a lot of different levels so we just had this that Shilo comes before andil is because you have to see the destination before you're going first comes seeing you have to see what the goal is then you have to hear what it is because Shia is understanding seeing is okay that's where I'm going sh is the understanding and then L as we go there go to land I'm going to show you first I'll show it to you then you go it and he sees the mountain in the distance speaking about hararia you see it and then you go there there was a process of going on so the names of shtim yes it they took their feelings as parents very often do when they have a child it's uh you know when uh can I heard me and my wife get together with our children and grandchildren and you look around it's it's something that's just uh um so inspiring just to be able to see it last week I read a letter from this woman who talked about how her children were like please don't give me any money mom and she says that's Nas oh yeah there's uh the idea of you turn around you look and you see what what uh what you manage to accomplish so yeah of course you're always going to put your own feeling ings into it and uh you know the the imos did it because look s was in until she was she had to give her her her slave to Abraham to marry and in that sacrifice whatever that pain was she was able to have children Rifka was childless for 10 years daving and ding painful Ra was childless for years and he gave her sh to to Yakov yeah to have that same thing but Leia already felt pain she didn't have to go through the pain of childlessness um good friend of mine r z Rudman wrote a safer talking about childlessness in the tanak and uh it's a s translated with a parish going to have him on the show talk about it it's a very powerful thing but Leia already felt on some level less loved Yakov loved him but it's just his love for R was so strong that she felt unloved by comparison and so that pain allowed her to have children and the majority of the children of Kel right six good half of them more than any one of the other wives that Yakov had because she was able to take that energy and put it towards having children and that's it for this episode if you want to find out more about the show you can go to my website ry.com you can leave a comment sign up for one of our online shum you could sponsor an episode we're only able to do this show because of our sponsors we love you and uh you could sponsor a question and answer you could sponsor a par and five um you uh uh you can ask a question and again we're waiting for responses if people would be interested we were talking about a Shar and pyos I only got two responses so far or would you be interested in uh every now and then having someone come in and speak about politics and events here in it show would that something that would be interesting to people so waiting to hear from all of you you can leave those comments and that's it for now uh for everybody should be a beautiful to and you should be starting your and it should be very meaningful to you and until next time I am de olowski and this has been the rabbi olowski show it's the rabbi orlovski show Torah and S ready to go the rabbi orlovski show knowledge and wisdom will help you grow lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhyme no we don't it's the rabbi orlovski show on Rabbi or.com Tor anytime YouTube and more it's Rabbi Ori show Torah and ready to go the rabbi orski show till next time till we meet again it's the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi Orlowski show