Nissan: Stayin' Alive (Ep. 167)

Hi, this is Rabbi Alonaski and welcome to the Rabbi Alonaski show. Like that. Anyway, well, once again, we're happy to have you with us whether you're watching with our friends over at TorahAnytime or wherever you watch and listen to your podcast, we're happy to have you along. It was interesting, you know, I got an email from somebody and said, "You're on a lot of different platforms." You know, you're on TorahAnytime, you're on YouTube, you're on Spotify, you're on platform 9 and 3/4. Whatever the case happens to be, you're on a lot of different platforms. Which one should I watch? So, you'll notice that whenever I say this, I I I always say um our friends over at TorahAnytime or wherever you watch your podcast. So, why am I stressing TorahAnytime? So, we had the schuss of having our friends from TorahAnytime on our live podcast and they pointed out something once that I thought was cogent. And they said, "When you go to TorahAnytime and you look for a Torah shiur, you know, you're not going to see any bad content." When you go onto YouTube, so then they'll suggest other videos and some of them may not be appropriate. So, do you really want to expose people to that? So, so obviously, if you're on YouTube all day anyway, you know what I mean? So, like I'm not I'm not going to be the one that's going to mess you up, you know? Obviously, when you have subscribers on YouTube, then you can monetize it. I'm up to now 1,400 subscribers on YouTube, which means that if I was to allow advertisements, I would get a penny for every other podcast. Now, that's not real serious money. So, so therefore, that is why I always mention our friends over at TorahAnytime or wherever else you watch it. Because I'm not here. This is a value-free zone. I think we've more or less established that. I'm here to give you my thoughts and opinions and I'm not here to tell anybody else what to do. Everybody has to make their own decisions in life. If I can make your life a little bit better. There are people who watch this show who are talmidei chachamim. They're people bnei yeshiva. I just got email from someone who drives a bus. So, we have a balabusta who listens. In any event, all different types of people listen and and from all different walks and wherever you're That's why we're on multiple platforms to be able to provide wherever we can get that access. And And remember, every now and then I get an email from someone who says, "I just found this podcast." I'm well around over 3 years. How'd you just find it now? So, it's because my loyal listeners, you have to go out and spread the word. Let everybody know about this, you know? Gosh. Why Why would you keep it just for yourself? It's not like it's going to get used up. It's It's recorded. This is digital. Yeah, it's plenty for everybody. So, we hope to expand our audience. And as I mentioned, I have a trip coming up around Lag B'Omer time. I hope to do a few of these Rabbi Alonaski lives cuz what could be better than having a whole bunch of Rabbi Alonaski show crazies all together in one room? The energy is dramatic. And if If anything good is going to happen in the world, it's going to come from that group of people because you know, you're the best. Okay. And sponsorship this week sponsored anonymously as a schuss for all children and adults battling the yetzer hara. What a tough tough door we the yetzer hara that we have to face. The world in absolute terms is not worse, but but we are. Every what what the old generation used to have to face boggles the mind. Boggles the mind. I have I've done this many times. I play this over in my head. If I was in the Holocaust, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't make it to the train. They would probably shoot me before I got to the train. This is not for me. I can't handle this kind of stuff. And you saw there were people there. They had typhoid. They were starving. They got up every morning, you know, after a few hours of sleep in the freezing cold going out and breaking rocks. Where did they get this koach from? And us, you know, if we have to put the milk back in the refrigerator, you know, we we're like, "Did you see what I did? Did you see Did you see I put the milk back?" Did you ever remember to put the milk back, you know? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Big success. And they should be zocheh to siyata d'Shmaya and to do teshuvah on all these shortcomings. Halavai. Halavai we should all be zocheh to that. Okay. Pesach's coming up. We're We're within the month of Nissan already. By the Chassidim, they say chodesh nissim because it's it's it's obviously a month of tremendous Things are not by accident. The the Even though the names of the months that we have were taken from Babylonian gods, right? Which is sometimes where the months come from. On the secular calendar, January was named after the god Janus, who is the two-faced god who watched the old year going and the new year coming. March was named after Mars, the god of war, because people used to go into into winter quarters during the winter and then they would come out in March and they would start again. It's very interesting. I read a biography of General Zhukov, who was the one of the major players in the Russian army during World War II. And he kept saying they were anticipating the next German spring offensive. They would wait for the spring and then they would start another offensive. And And that's why in 1943, he expected it to be in Kursk. He was right. He surrounded the town and protected it and was able to stop the German advance. But that's when you go. That's why it was named after Mars. May is Maya, the goddess of springtime. So, it's very often. So, all the names that we have of months were Babylonian gods. By the way, remember hearing someone ask Reb Dovid Cohen once, "What's the significance of the fact that we took names of avodah zarah for our months?" He says, "Because when you realize that these gods have no power, every time you mention them, it's it's it's it's machik chazik. Like the album says Tammuz. Tammuz was was a powerful avodah zarah. But when you see that it has no value, you're making fun of it, you know? When Thor, the god of thunder, joins the Avengers, you understand it it takes away takes away. When Hercules becomes a Disney movie, it takes away. There's no chashivus there anymore. You know what I mean? You know, whereas to this point, nobody has like made a film, you know, the you know, you know, the fun and fun and exciting adventures of Yeshua, you know what I mean? And like, you know, have him solving crimes or something. Like you know, like you're not going to do that because people still take him seriously, yeah? But when you use the avodah zarah, you're machik chazik, you know? Great Zeus. Some guy on top of a mountain with a lightning bolt. I mean, come on. No one's going to take this seriously, you know? So, through that, you take you take the power that exists and you you machik chazik of it, yeah? So, that's why we davka named our months after that. And so, all of these things were names of gods, the the Hebrew ones that we have. So, um nonetheless, right? Even though Yisrael Kedoshim heim. There's nothing that we do that's nothing. Every word has special significance. So, the fact that British could be read as Brit Ish, the people of the covenant or the commonwealth, yeah? Is not insignificant. The fact that Russia is called Russia, I think says something, right? Polin, right? They said Polin. Hebrew word stage. Jews lived in Poland for a thousand years, you know? The Jews lived in Spain for many years. It was called Sephardic because they kept saying so far, so good until they realized they I don't know that one's Jewish. Just made that one up. But But America, I mean, it's America. It's an empty nation, you know what I mean? People don't get very excited unless somebody slaps someone at the Oscars and then suddenly this is major news, you understand? This is This is every This is all they could talk about. There's a war raging in Ukraine. People are being blown up. Houses are being destroyed. But this guy slaps somebody and they're Oh my gosh. What a What are we as a society? Where have we come? America, you know? I I took 16-year-old son and my 21-year-old daughter with my wife and I for a trip to America. Okay? Now, if you're an Israeli and you go to America, right? Okay. So, we we were mostly based in New York. Did we go to the Empire State Building? No. Did we go to the Statue of Liberty? No. You know? Did we take the circle line? No. No. Well, you don't do anything. What do you do? You shop and you eat. That's what you do in America. That's what America is for. You know? My son had a certain list of goals. One of them was Izzy's Smokehouse, which is in Crown Heights. To me, and don't take this the wrong way, but I'm a nice Long Island kid. To me, all Brooklyn is a slum. It's all those It's all those riot doors and the graffiti everywhere and, you know, it's a it's it's a rough drive, you know, and all the roads are broken. It's like there's no parking, you know? Most people in Brooklyn are still circling around looking for a parking spot. You know, they usually just park in Queens and take the bus, you know? But, um you know, it's That was That's what you go to America for. It's America. You know? It's it's it's the There's just the gosh fears of it without any without any real serious basis to it. Okay. So, where is the significance of the fact that Nissan Tishrei? All right? So, Tishrei, all the money you're going to get in the year is decided between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. It's That's a Gemara in Rosh Hashanah. Through Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, it's decided how much money you're going to have for the year, except for Tishrei. There's Talmud Torah, Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Yom Tov and Yom Tov. Those things are not included. That's what you always hear, "We just spend on Shabbos, that doesn't come out of your money." That's K'chu Baruch Hashem's money. That doesn't mean, obviously, you can cheat the system and say, you know, "Okay, well, I'll you know, I'll make food for 100 people, you know, for Shabbos and you know, I'll eat the leftovers during the week, you know?" That's the trick. So, uh Yeah, yeah, you know, you have to be much Shabbos and mix with the much Shabbos as much as you can. Don't have to worry, it's not on your kishkes. Okay. So, Nissan is called Nissan, the like I said, cuz the names are significant. Names are always significant. I remember when George W. Bush was running against John Kerry and the signs up here in Israel. You know, Bush and Kerry, you know, different supporters. And I said, "This is a contest between embarrassment and tuma." You know, what I'm saying? That's That's who we're voting for. Do you want to vote for the tuma or for the busha? And the fact that Obama is the name of Obama, which is a, you know, uh ultimate sacrifice, does it mean anything? I don't know. I don't know. I think it does. Anyway, be that as it may. Um So, so let's get back. So, it's almost Pesach. I want to share an idea that has personal significance because, as people always point out, you know, one of the things about this podcast, whether you like it or not, is that I tend to share a lot of personal thoughts and try to put that into a context. Luckily, there are enough people who find them interesting as well. Yeah, so that's why I share them. Um I heard Pesach Krohn say something in a shiur many, many, many years ago. It made a deep impression on me. Pesach Krohn is one of my heroes, one of the one of the greats of our generation. People don't appreciate it, you know, because uh that's not how we usually, you know, we we we obviously put Gedolei Torah up, but there are heroes of of all stripes and um uh Pesach Krohn, the amount of chesed and and things that he does to inspire Klal Yisrael is just unbelievable. Anyway, so he he said his father died young. His father died young and everything fell on Pesach to have to try to take care of the family and and everything like that. Which he did beautifully and with, you know, tremendous enthusiasm. He tells the story where at some point he realized he had passed the age of his father when he passed away. All right? Whatever age his father passed away, he was older than this. I I understand that. All right? Now, the Gemara says you should get nervous 5 years before the death of your parent, and that's why Yitzchak got nervous when he was in the 5 years of sorrow. He didn't know if he was going to die by sorrow or by or by Avraham. And that's why he went to make sure and gave out the brachos. So, um So, I had a brother who passed away at my age. So, you know, in the family, people keep tabs, you know, have you have you passed that milestone, you know? And these things these things uh are very meaningful. Anyway, so he realized he was at the Seder. And he realized I've I'm I'm older than my father was at this age. And he made the bracha at the beginning of the Seder that you make in Kadesh. Shehechiyanu v'Kiy'manu v'Higiyanu lazman hazeh. And he started to cry. God gave us life and kept us around to be able to spend this Pesach together. I've mentioned this in the past, but that that didn't make such an impression on me at the time. But, after my heart attack and my bypass operation, when two major doctors told me I really shouldn't have made it. And I remind my wife of this because she doesn't understand how I usually have such a positive attitude when I am by nature such a negative person. Yeah. Um Someone once said, "Some people look at the glass and say it's half empty. Some look at the glass and say it's half full. You say it's probably poisoned." You know? Okay, so I tend to be a little negative. I agree. I agree. I tend to be negative. Um I used to say, when I was younger, I'd say, "I'd rather be a pessimist than an optimist because if you're a pessimist and things go wrong, you anticipated it. If you're an optimist, you don't have to deal with it." So, the guy says to me, "You don't understand shot. If you're an optimist, nothing ever goes wrong. And if you're a pessimist, nothing ever goes right." And that that That's That's That's clever. I never thought of that. But, uh but I think about this and because of that story that Pesach told on Pesach, particularly when I make that bracha Shehechiyanu, and I look around and I'm surrounded by my children and my grandchildren. So, uh 3 years ago, um I got six offers for Pesach hotels. And I'll tell you the truth, I like to be home. I like Pesach in my house. I like the food that we cook. I like our kelim. I like All right. Um I did one thing that was a uh major change in my life that changed everything. I I used to try to clean myself-cleaning oven. Now, in theory, you turn on the self-cleaning oven and it's all clean, but it's really not. So, they say, "Well, you know, it doesn't really get the door and it doesn't really get this." And if you wrap it around with aluminum foil I'm not going to wrap it around with aluminum foil. Yeah? So, somebody uh somebody said to me, you know, "Why do you kosher your counters um and then cover them?" I said, "Cuz I'm worried I didn't kosher them well." He says, "Well, then just cover them." Said, "I'm worried I didn't cover them well." What am I going to do between the two? So, I'm going to take it off and I'm going to cook my food, you know what I mean? Wrap it around with aluminum foil and hope that I did it all right. My wife wraps up the leftovers. It's like hermetically sealed. She gets the aluminum foil, catches all the way around, you know what I mean? You know, if you go in the middle of the night, you know, and you want to take a little something, she'll know instantly cuz there's no way the way that she closes that up, you know? Tupperware has nothing on my wife or the piece of aluminum foil, you know? So, so I'm going to do that door that way. That's why the kids never never wanted me to cover their books. You have to cover your books for school, you know? So, I would take whatever the wrapping paper was, you know, and if you use enough Scotch tape, you'll get it on. It'll stay. My mother my wife, she would like fold it over like this and cut it like this, you know, and do my put it on. It would slip on. It was a a work of art. Who's that? I don't That's I'm an idea guy. In fact, I got an email from somebody who says, "Why do they kosher and cover their counters?" No, kosher from a ma'aseh. Anyway, but you know, so I'm going to go and All right. So, I hired two shvartzas to clean my oven. When they were done, I had to clean my oven again. So, I realized the money I paid them was a waste of time because nobody cleans it like I do. You know? And I just couldn't do it. I I suddenly was scraping and scraping over all these black dots and stuff and that. So, I made a cheshbon what I paid these guys, that amount of money in 10 years, I could buy myself a new oven. And by the way, when I say a new oven, I have I live here in Eretz Yisrael. I have an American oven, GE. Yeah? An oven. These Israelis, they all buy these little like European ovens that like Betty Crocker, you know, and you take the little pan. You can take like a 9 by 13 one pan and put it in. What am I going to do with that? I'm going to make one kugel? It's Pesach. I have family here. I put in like three big pans of chicken, you know? Get everything cooking over there and stuff. And even then, you have enough. So, I brought myself a another American oven. Now, where am I going to keep it? I keep in the back of my son, which means that after we finish all the cleaning, I have to empty the entire max sign and there's a lot of stuff there. Wheel out the oven, which is pretty heavy because we keep a bunch of Pesach stuff in there and you'd think that I would like open the oven and take the stuff out for us, but you know, that's just not the way I swing, you know. So, you have to drag this thing all the way into the house and then you have to put everything back into the max sign. And then after Pesach, you have to take everything out of the max sign, put the oven back and put everything back in. It it it was it was difficult. It's nice to have a new oven. So, when we redid the kitchen, I said I want one cabinet that I'm going to be able to keep my Pesach oven in it. So, we extended the kitchen and they made this one gigantic cabinet and I put the oven in there and there's enough room, it's a big cabinet for all my Pesach Caleb. Cuz you know, when you clean the house for Pesach and you empty out this cabinet and you put this away, you never find them again, ever. Not until next year. You know? You never find the Shabbos zone, you have to go buy a new one, the hot plate, the you know, you don't know where these Caleb Everything's just disappear. Yeah. So, um So, like this, I don't have a problem. We can tape everything up. You know? Kasha the counter with boiling hot water and a hot rock, which for me, this is not a good combination. I kasha the counter, then you cover it and then you open it up and just wheel out your your oven, take the other one out to the repair place, plug it in. Life changing event. So, I like being home for Pesach. Be surrounded by children and grandchildren. What a What a s'chug. And going to a hotel in of itself is not enough of an attraction for me. If I could give a Pesach to my children, then it's worthwhile. But just for the s'chug to be in a hotel for myself, I like being home. Yeah. I like my bed, like my room, like my stuff. Anyway, so uh um So, I got three offers, so I said, "Okay, if I could bring my family." They said, "Sure. What's involved?" Back then, we weren't such a big family, you know. Nine rooms and 22 tickets. So, two programs said, "Are you out of your mind?" I SAID, "YOU ASKED ME. WHAT DO YOU WANT from me? I told you I want to be with my family, all right? So, don't take me, you know." Two of them said, "I wish we could. You're really worth it, but I don't think it's in our budget." Two people said, "We can make it work." And I never heard from them again. I don't know what you want to say. But uh So, I'm sitting at the Seder with my children and my grandchildren and uh and I make that brocha shehechiyanu v'kiy'manu v'higiyanu lazman hazeh and I think to myself I'm still alive. And when things go bad and my wife says to me, "How could you be so positive?" And I said, "I'm supposed to be dead." Do you know? Whatever you're going through now is difficult, but it would probably be worse if I was dead. All right? Cuz I may not help that much, but whatever I do, you wouldn't have that either. You know? So, I help a little bit. I told my kids, "When I die, people won't even know for a while. Just get a cardboard cut out of me and put in front of the computer. People won't know for years that I'm actually gone, but you know, just keep doing old podcasts." So, uh but um uh you know, I said I'm still alive. And here I am sitting at the Seder surrounded with my children and my grandchildren, shehechiyanu v'kiy'manu v'higiyanu lazman hazeh. You wake up in the morning, modeh ani lifanecha shehechiyanu hazarta bi nishmati b'chemla rabba emunasecha I'm still alive. By the way, those of you who are joining the tfila series after Pesach, okay, well, we're going to talk about this idea also, but because I'm not even going to I'm trying to I've been planning this out in my mind now for months, you know. I'm going to try to stay away from general philosophy and introduction to tfila stuff like that. I want to go into beer tfila. I want to go into the actual beer and uh whether that's Budweiser, whatever it's involved, yes, and we're going to go into every beer tfila we can find. But uh the idea is uh no Corona. Anyway, uh but the idea is, you know, you start off you wake up in the morning, you say, "Wow, I'm alive." Cuz if you wake in the morning and you're dead, it changes the whole day, trust me. It's a whole different day. You're like oh man I'm dead. I've said THAT AT TIMES. I WAKE IN THE morning and I say, "Oh, I'm dead." But I'm not really dead. But imagine you're really dead and you're like, "Oh, what do I do now?" Well, guess I'll just lie here till they they decide what to do with me. So, uh who knows? I know somebody in America, he says, "I want to be buried near the show." But you know, it'll cost a lot of money to send it over. So, I told him, "When I start to die, just sit me up in a wheelchair until rigor mortis sets in and then just buy me a regular seat, you know. Just bring me in." Uh does your friend want um want a meal? Oh, no, he's dead. Just let him stay where he is. Just spray him once in a while, you know. But um but to be able to still be You wake up in the morning and say I'm alive. What else do I have to ask for? What else could you ask for in life than to be alive? And what would we do to stay alive? So, I hear him at the Seder and we have wine and we have matzah and we have our Pesach dishes. When we first got married, we found these dishes on sale and we said they looked like Pesach dishes. Then we looked and we saw they were made in Poland because that's where all the Pesach dishes come from, from your grandmother, from Poland, yeah. She she brought them over and gave them to you, you know. So, they were perfect perfect Pesach dishes, you know. We put out the Pesach dishes, we set everything up. Last year, one of my grandchildren was sitting next to me, he was 4 or 5 years old and he was literally hopping up and down. He was so excited for the Seder. Yeah, and and and uh the everything that goes into Oh, I'm like that, too. And I and I think about those words, shehechiyanu v'kiy'manu v'higiyanu lazman hazeh. I was zocheh to make it to another Pesach. I have to tell you, when you almost die you uh you don't take these things for granted. You know? Someone said uh "I understand you're happy with your life, but like what was what was the deepest thing for you?" So, the deepest thing is that I was able to spare my family that experience where every simcha they go and I know that I was with us. Uh up in shamayim, I'm sure he would have liked to have been here, yeah. Now, no one says that cuz I'm there. They say, "Abba obviously doesn't want to be here." He'd rather be home. You know? I'm not quite the party person, but but to be able to be surrounded with your children and grandchildren and to say shehechiyanu v'kiy'manu v'higiyanu lazman hazeh, what an unbelievable thing. And every day is a gift. That's why we call it the present. Okay? That's what we have. And we we have this tremendous gift. Every day we wake up in the morning, we say, "I'm still here." Another day filled with opportunity, usually wasted. But anything that we do the entire world was created for the sake of one mitzvah and that was mitzvah lo saseh. So, you know, you get up in the morning and someone gets you really upset during the course of the day and you don't kill him. That's a You were mekayem mitzvah lo saseh, lo sirtzach. You didn't kill him. Yeah, so uh Pity stayed his hand. It's a pity I ran out of bullets. I just think to myself, I'm not going We focus on all the times we speak lashon hara, but imagine every time you wanted to speak lashon hara and you didn't. You know, these people sometimes they have a shmira for like 2 hours. They're like, "Oh, I got a great story to tell you. I'll call you in a half an hour." The Seder, but that's s'chug. That's s'chug. That lo saseh was enough for the entire world to be created and then mitzvah aseh is metaken the world. You get to fix it with it. Every time you make a brocha in the course of the day and we know everything good that you do, Rashi tells us, is 500 times better, stronger than every bad thing. Cuz by a bad thing it says, ad shileishim v'ad rebi'im you'll get punished through four generations. And by a good thing, al payim, 2,000 generations. So, the good that we do is so much more powerful than the bad that we do. So, uh every day is an opportunity for us to do things. You come to a Seder. Manishtana halaila hazeh mikol haleilos? Why is this night different? Says the Sfas Emes. Cuz this is a night that's a day. First brocha you make is asher nasan lanu bein yom uvein lailah. Why? Cuz all these are brochas about mitzvahs. There are a lot more mitzvahs during the day than there are at night. And this is a night that's filled with mitzvahs. If you ever make a count how many mitzvahs there are on Pesach night it's incredible. This is a night that's a day. Why is this night different than all the nights? Yeah. In fact, I I spoke once at a dinner for a fellow who was a knight of the realm in England. Um it used to be that you had to, you know, put on the armor and get a horse and a lance and you know. Now, if you do anything that is considered significant business accomplishments, art, you know, Elton John is a knight, you know, Paul McCartney is a knight, you know. So, I was speaking at this dinner for this, you know, wealthy Jewish guy. And uh usually a knight has to be Christian, obviously. So, here you have a Jewish knight. So, one of the people said, "I have an opening for you." I'm always a little wary when people write material for me, but okay, sometimes, you know. She says, "I think you should start off by saying, 'Why is this night different than ALL OTHER NIGHTS?'" I DIDN'T I didn't go with that one. But anyway, uh it was great. It was a cross-section of like aristocratic English society. There was a guy there named the colonel. He had a walrus mustache and a monocle. I'm telling you he was right out of clue. I couldn't believe it, you know. And it was like the whole all these, you know, so they kept giving me drinks and I I don't drink. I have a very low tolerance to alcohol, you know. So, I had a couple of drinks and then I get up to speak and everybody lights up cigars. The room starts spinning around and I was holding on to the shtender and I I I could barely get out my words. I was like so dizzy. And they said, "That was the most enthusiastic speech we've ever heard. Excellent job, Rabbi. Excellent job." I was like, "Gosh, good thing I didn't do my regular level of enthusiasm. They would have all died of heart attacks, you know what I mean?" That much excitement in one room. Anyway, so uh what can I tell you? It's uh rich people are fun. So, uh there's this this guy wanted to come and speak to me. Asked me if I'd come and meet him in his office. He was going to send his Rolls-Royce for me. He's like fabulously wealthy fellow, you know. I go down to his office and uh we're talking about his life and and he's he's making a lot of poor decisions. I don't want to go into all the details. It's I don't want to get knocked off of Nucky Radio again, but but uh he was making a lot of poor decisions in life, you know. And I So, I give him mussar. I said, "Yo, you're going to lose your wife. You're going to lose your family. You're going to lose everything. Is that what you want?" He goes, "No." I said, "Don't tell me no. What are you going to do? You're a businessman. Action plan. Let's talk. What are we going to do?" And he says, "You know, no rabbi speaks to me like this." I said, "They all want your money. I don't need your money. Yeah? I'm heir to the Olshansky fortune." Wherever that might be, yeah, it's hidden in a cave somewhere. I'm going to go adventuring and looking for it one day, you know. Ah, the famed Olshansky fortune. It must have built up over the years. I come from a long line of cattle thieves. But anyway, so uh so uh be that as it may. I'm I'm digressing. The point is baruch Hashem baruch Hashem that shehechiyanu v'kiyimanu v'higiyanu lazman hazeh. That's the the idea I wanted to develop uh and uh and just think about that. Think about that every day, but certainly when you make that bracha shehechiyanu, think about the fact that Hakadosh Baruch Hu has given me the gift to be alive. We take it for granted. There was just a terrorist attack in Bnei Brak, a young father. Yeah, young father was was shot by a terrorist. He's he's the kadosh. He goes straight to shamayim. You know. I was commenting to my family afterwards. I said, you know, "Wow, that's that's how I if if when my when my time comes, that's how I want to go." And they're like, "Oh, you're being morbid." I said, "No, I'm not." Rav Henoch Leibowitz tells a story that he was with his father, Rav Dovid Leibowitz, in Europe and these anti-Semites start shooting at them. And uh they missed. And his father said, "I almost thought I was zocheh to die al kiddush Hashem." And he says he says, "I was a little boy. I started to cry. I said, 'Tatti, you want to die?'" He says, "No, but if you knew what it meant to die al kiddush Hashem, you'd understand what an opportunity it is." There's no gehennom. There's no din. You go straight up to shamayim, the highest levels of olam haba. Between me and you, that's the only way I'm getting there. So, I tend to walk through bad neighborhoods and say, "Ich bin a yid. Ich bin a you know." And so far, I have no takers, you know. You got to be you got to you got to be on the level to to to to be chosen for something like that. But if you're still here, shehechiyanu v'kiyimanu v'higiyanu lazman hazeh. Hashem kept me here. I'm still here. Okay. Now we come to the question and answer portion of our program. There's just too many P's in that sentence. Um please come to the pretty portion of the program. Where where it's a pertinent question and personnel. Anyway, so Anonymous asks, "Do you think a good mother should enjoy sitting on the floor and playing dolls with her daughter? Am I doing something wrong if I try to get out of that activity?" All right. Not every activity that every child does is going to appeal to every parent. Right? Um i.e. I was uh not a sportsman. I was not and am not. When I was in camp, um something I never enjoyed. Camp was not made for somebody like me. I was a sensitive uh young man who liked to read and uh and think and uh and I didn't want to play baseball four periods a day, you know. I wasn't particularly good at it. So, they invented a new position for me called deep center field. By the time I walked out there, the inning was over. I started to walk back, you know. I used to take a book with me in case it was a long inning, you know. I'd read a little bit and they would contact me through semaphore flags and I'd slowly make my way back. By the time I got back, time to go back, you know. They would often have someone pinch hit for me, you know. One time, the ball actually came there. I heard the shouting in the distance. I looked around and there was the ball. I'd never actually seen it. I picked it up and I threw it with all my strength and I walked a few steps and I picked it up and I threw it again and I Anyway, eventually the the inning was over, but so sports is not for me. So, my sons, I have mostly daughters, but my sons wanted to play sports for me. I don't play sports. What am I supposed to do? Uh go out and play soccer? Soccer doesn't That's the thing. Bounce a ball off my head. I mean, I said I would never do that on purpose, you know what I mean? Football? Giant refrigerator freezers smashing into each other? Not for me, you know. A bunch of French Canadians wearing sharp, you know, blades on their feet, carrying sticks and hitting each other? Does that sound like I would want to do that? I don't think so, you know. So, sports were just not my thing. So, okay. So, my kids wanted to play sports, so uh I'd get other people to play with them. Basketball, man, just so boring. Anyway, so um uh So, these things held no appeal for me, you know. And kids wanted to play sports. Um I'm not prepared to do it. I mean, why I said prepared to do it means you know, if if I had to, I would, but I don't get excited about it. It's if I could get out of it, I would definitely get out of it. Yeah? Not every activity is going to be exciting. Now, I am an exciting enough person that I can find other exciting things to do with my children. So, if playing with dolls per se is not what you enjoy doing, okay. Not everyone masters chamesh avanim. For those of you who are not from Israel, yeah, call it jacks. I don't know. I never played jacks. But uh you know, you have to like bounce a ball and pick up things such as this This is with these five little square um things that are called rocks. They're not really rocks, you know. You toss one and pick up three and catch it on your fingers and toss it in the air and catch it backwards and go this way and that. And kick it through. I don't know. It's a There's a lot of a lot of halachas. I don't know how to follow them all. Uh that's not my strong point. My wife My wife would get down on the floor and play chamesh avanim with the kids, you know. I would say, "Yeah, it looks good. Look Looking good from here." So, So, okay. So, I don't have to enjoy every activity. Yeah? Um I have some of my children who are expert colorers. I like to go for like a more of a broad stroke Picasso kind of approach, you know, color, you know, use some color, you know. But I have I've got kids who sit there with the little pencils and fill in I used to buy for chol hamoed, I'd buy these, you know, paint by numbers, but sometimes you can get them with colored pencils. And there's like a million of these tiny little things in different colors and they sit in there coloring and coloring. And uh it's not really for me. I'm more of the like round circle with the stick and the two little arms and legs coming out of it, you know. And that's that's, you know, but but they're all very excited when they sit down at the table and they all draw and I can ooh and ah over it afterwards. So, here's what I think is the yesod. To be a good parent, you have to learn how to quell. If kids just annoy you, you're not going to be a very good parent. You have to quell. Now, that doesn't mean you have to engage in each activity. I don't have to do the paint by numbers, but I have to look at them and say, "Oh, that's so adorable." You got to find your kids cute. You got to find them fun, enjoyable. It doesn't mean I have to do everything that they do. Uh uh I don't get bizly. I don't get it. It smells horrible. It it it it it You can't even chew it. You know, there are entire pieces of bizly still inside of people's stomachs that have never come out from the time they were kids. I mean, I don't think it's digestible. I don't know, you know, and kids walk around the and it stinks and it's horrible, you know. Okay, but just because I don't enjoy bizly doesn't mean that I can't, you know, quell when I watch my children or grandchildren with the bizly and they're so excited. Sometimes you have these kind of kids. And uh and then like they'll be eating bizly and they'll sing the bizly song, you know, whatever that means. Oh, I love bizly. I have bizly. I don't know, I'm eating bizly. All day I'm eating bizly. Now, I don't have to eat the bizly to appreciate the pure joy on the face of these children who are eating the bizly. That's great. They're having time. They're having fun, and I'm quelling from it. So, although I do not have to participate in every activity that they do, I do have to learn to enjoy my children. TG asks, "If you had a yeshiva, which bachurim would you give your yeshiva for? What would be different than existing yeshivas in the US and in Israel? What would the schedule look like, and what would you focus on?" Um I have a nephew who's a rabbi. And um and he has a congregation um small to medium-size congregation. And I said, you know, the rabbinate in America is a profession. You know, you move up to a bigger shul. He says, "I feel like this is the right amount. If I had more than this, I wouldn't be I don't think I could be successful. I wouldn't be able to connect with all the people. This is the right number." Yeah, and Malcolm Gladwell in The Tipping Point mentions there's a certain number where beyond that you it's just numbers. You can't really be on top of everybody and everything. Unless you're Hamelech. Hamelech had a thousand wives, and he was able to have a um intimate relation with each one of them, but most of us are not Hamelech to be able to to have those koiches. Yeah. I would want to take the type of a bachur who goes to the Am- American program in the Mir. And I'd want to get a yeshiva of between 50 and 80 guys. Not more. And the purpose of the yeshiva would be to focus on growing in your learning and in your middos and hashkafos. It says in Pirkei Avos, uh "Om dem talmidim harbeh." Says the Tosafos Yom Tov, it means stand them on their feet. You have to build people. And when there was the mussar movement and you had real mashgichim, that was their job. To look at a bachur and figure out what is in the koidach to help this person realize their potential. I would not want to be the rosh yeshiva. I'd want to be the mashgiach. To spend my time working with guys, helping them reach their personal best. And I have some big time chacham help them grow in their learning. I I I can I can, you know, share certain mahalachim learning, but okay, you want a famous rosh yeshiva, fine. Sit there and and steigen. But I want people to grow as people. I want them to become baalei middos and baalei mussar, and I want them to become people who are um uh happy and fulfilled and have beautiful marriages and have beautiful parents. That's what I'm looking for. To build people who are going to be successful people and yidden in the world. That's what I'm looking for. Anonymous asks, "For someone who doesn't like cholent very much, do you have any suggestions for something else to make for Shabbos?" Okay. With simcha b'chagecha, ein simcha ela b'vasar. A full disclosure, that means basar shlamim. You know on yom tov you don't have to have meat. Yeah. But um but there's more of an inyan of having meat on yom tov than there is on Shabbos. Um and that's why traditionally on Friday night people have chicken and chicken soup, and they're not necessarily having a roast or having meat. Yeah. Um I've reached an age where the foods that I can safely digest grows smaller and smaller with each passing year. So, there's certain things that I I I love. Like American frankfurters on a roll, mustard and sauerkraut. But if I eat eat them, I'm going to be sick. At least a day, maybe two. Um falafel. I love falafel. And uh and there's a place here in Jerusalem everyone knows of they're ever anywhere in that neighborhood, they bring me back a falafel. I'll be sick for at least 2 days. But I really enjoy it. Cholent is one of those foods. When I go to uh Shabbos lunch and I sit down, and you have chopped liver, and you have cold cuts, and you have cholent, and you have kishka, I'm going to be sick for at least 2 days. I always do. And that's why when I go to America, and that's the standard fare, I am sick. I'm sick all motzei Shabbos, all all Sunday. It's a terrible thing. I can't I can't digest it. So, uh so me I actually have milk and eggs for Shabbos lunch. And um uh we make a a pasta dish, we make fish, um bagels, you know, um spreads, and a cup of coffee. And I don't even eat too much of that, cuz otherwise I'm sick the next day. So, I'm not recommending that. I'm just saying that uh a number of my kids are very thrilled when they come to us and we're having milk and eggs for lunch, because a lot of people have the same experience. Um when we serve the fleishig meal, which we do sometimes, um uh I'm very often pareve at the end. I'll have a piece of kugel, piece of bread, and have some dips. I I just I can't digest it. So, let's say you want to make your um uh maybe you don't like cholent. So, few suggestions. So, and assuming you don't want to go milk and eggs, which I understand. Uh one is to make chicken cutlets. I'm being very meduyak here. I did not say schnitzels. Chicken cutlet is a piece of chicken breast that is breaded and egged and then fried on both sides until it's done. Yeah. Um I grew up with this in America. It was uh it was um a real treat. So, we used to have we'd have it with spaghetti and chicken cutlets. By the way, now that I'm doing recipes again, I haven't done them in a while, uh I have a I have a couple of things I I must share with you. First of all, my wife changed my schnitzel making. For years, I've only done one thing, the way my mother did it. I dipped it in the egg, I dipped it in the matzo meal, and I fried them. And they come out very good. My children spiced the matzo meal. So, I started doing that. A little salt, a little pepper, a little paprika, a little garlic, a little onion soup mix, mix it all up together. Okay, that was a positive change. The other thing that my wife taught me is that first you bread it, then you egg it, then you bread it again. So, I have been doing that. That's a that's a a new step forward for me, and uh I've been I've been doing that. Okay. But I told you I I get a kick out of reading the um the recipe sections in these Jewish publications. And I saw a couple of pieces of advice repeated a lot of times. And I figured, "Okay, I'll try it." One is a person complained, "My food is bland." So, they said, "That's cuz you're supposed to salt it throughout the cooking. Salt it when you're first frying the onion. Salt it when you're frying the onion." Okay, I did that with my vegetable soup. Inedible. And by the way, when it's so salty, there's almost nothing you can do. So, they say, "Well, take some raw potato." I made lots of raw potatoes and make mashed potatoes afterwards with salted mashed potatoes. It didn't help, cuz I salted the whole time. Yeah? Don't listen to them. At the end, add a little salt and taste it. And if you want more, add a little more salt and taste it. Do not salt throughout. And I saw this tip in a couple places, too. They said, "Add a splash of vinegar." Oh, it'll bring all the taste alive. No, it'll make it taste sour, which is exactly what it did. So, if you want a sweet and sour soup in a Chinese restaurant, then put in vinegar. Otherwise, don't put vinegar into your soups. The voice of experience. I actually listened to these people. Why? Stupid, stupid, stupid. There's nothing to be gained from it. Listen to me. Now, you listen to me. Anyway, I haven't done some cooking tidbits in a while, so I'm going to throw some of those in as we move along. So, uh so what do you do? Okay, here to me is what I consider to be one of the dumbest ideas is they make deli roll. What this is, they take all of the cold cuts, which make me sick to start with, and then they put it in filo dough, which um I remember reading an article from the head of my new Yeshiva. He used to write in the the Tate Joseph Liebman. And he said, "There's probably nothing worse you can eat than burekado." It's like you know, might as well just might as well just stab yourself in the heart right now. It's it's the worst thing you could possibly eat. Worst thing for you. So, I take the cold cuts, which are hard, and wrap it up in this stuff. Oh, that was the other tip I wanted to give you. I stumbled on this completely by accident. Um I was making a chicken pot pie. I happen to like chicken pot pie. My mom used to make chicken pot pie, but in America, you can buy these pie shells. Here you get what's called but sake alim. Uh I don't know if it's called filo dough. I don't know exactly what it's called, you know? Anyway, what do they do? They cut a piece of it, they put it in a pan, and they smoosh it down a little bit, and they put the filling in, yeah? But it comes out so thick, you can't even eat it. So, I was rolling it out, yeah, rolling out a piece of dough to put in, and it started to split. So, I pulled it back together in a ball, and I re-rolled it again, and it came out like dough. Like actual dough. I put it in the pan, and took another thing, made strips on the top. Uh my daughter, who's a particular mate, she was like, "I was shocked you made your own dough." I said, "No, that's but sake alim." I just rolled it out as if it was dough, and it came out like dough, you know? So, I rolled it out once, and I smooshed it up, and then rolled it out a second time, and I used it like regular pie dough. Amazing. Step forward. Anyway, so I stress uh chicken uh uh um uh what I'm calling uh you know, a chicken cutlets as opposed to a schnitzel. If you took that same chicken cutlet, and you banged it with a hammer until it was four times its size, and then you soak it in oil long enough that you could put in a wick and recreate the Hanukkah miracle, you know, and you fry it to death, that's called a schnitzel. You heat that up on the blech on Shabbos, and it's inedible. It's barely edible beforehand, but um a chicken cutlet, you know, so you make them beforehand, you put it in a pan, you heat it up in the on the that dishlacht. Pretty good. Um another suggestion, chicken salad. You can make either regular chicken salad or uh um a grilled chicken salad, whatever it is, you add that in. It's very refreshing. Uh me, um I grew up in Shabbos lunch. We used to take the boiled chicken from the soup, take two pieces of challah or bread, ketchup and lettuce, make a sandwich. Delicious. Uh so, there are there are options besides uh cholent that you can definitely go for. My son, who's much more creative, he makes a whole shawarma meal. He puts out shawarma and fried onions and and uh chips, and he heats everything up, and you know, and puts out big pitas, and and everybody makes their own shawarma. Very exciting. So, uh so there definitely are options for you. Now, if you're looking for interesting cholent recipes and approaches, you can go back to episode 83, the art of making cholent, which was the last one we did before Corona and uh and switched to the Zoom. All right. Um Anonymous asks, "It's been 2,000 years. Do you think sinas chinam will ever be eradicated, bringing Moshiach? Will he come through alternate circumstances?" That's a it's a tough question. He can come through alternate circumstances. He can. But uh the Gemara says that if we don't do teshuvah in the end, the Kadosh Baruch Hu will bring a melech kasheh keHaman to get us to do teshuvah. Why? Because in the Purim story, there was a tremendous achdus. Cuz nothing brings people together like knowing we're all going to die tomorrow. You're dying tomorrow? Me, too. You go first. Yeah? It brings people together. As the American Revolutionary said, "Gentlemen, if we do not hang together, then we shall surely hang separately." So, when you need each other, yeah, you you sinas chinam is something you can't afford. We're desperate. So, if the situation gets so desperate that we have no choice but to rely on each other, we won't have time for sinas chinam. That's not something you can afford when you have to rely on some somebody else. When people go out to battle, they say, "I have to know that the person next to me is somebody I can count on when the shooting starts, that we can depend on each other." So, without something serious happening, do I see the Jewish people all of a sudden putting aside all of their pettiness? No, I'm not that optimistic. Do I hope that's what happens? Yes, I hope everyone puts aside, cuz the other consequences are going to be terrible. But the Kadosh Baruch Hu, when the time comes, will drag us into Yemos Mashiach kicking and screaming if we don't want to go any other way. Chamushim alu bnei Yisrael eretz Mitzrayim. One out of every five, and that's the best scenario. Could be one out of 50, could be one out of five. It gets worse. So, uh it would be nice if we could put them all aside. And I realize there are people who, in spite of everything, hate their fellow Jew. And those people make me so angry, I could JUST KILL THEM. I STOLE THAT LINE FROM TOM LEHRER, who was a professor of mathematics, and he wrote funny songs, which he's always remembered for, but he said it goes, "I realize there are people who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that." Anyway, alavai, alavai we should all come together. All right, my friends, that's it for this episode. If you want to find out more about the show, you can go to my website, rabbialovsky.com. You can uh you can send an email, you can make a comment, you can sponsor an episode. Um have it your way. Special orders don't upset us. Um and uh uh that's it. Until next time. I am Dov Olavsky, and this is the Rabbi Olavsky Show. It's the Rabbi Olavsky Show. Torah and simcha, ready to go. It's the Rabbi Olavsky Show. Knowledge and wisdom will help you grow. Lots of fun in every episode. And we don't have to rhyme, though we will. It's the Rabbi Olavsky Show on rabbialovsky.com. Torah anytime. YouTube and more. It's the Rabbi Olavsky Show. Torah and simcha, ready to go. It's the Rabbi Olavsky Show. Till next time, till we meet again. The Rabbi Olavsky Show. It's the Rabbi Olavsky Show.