How Do You Want To Be Remembered? A Self Eulogy (Ep. 272)

hi this is D olowski and welcome to the rer olowski show and whether you're watching with our friends over at T any time orever you watch and listen to your podcast as always it's wonderful to have you along and don't forget to like share subscribe and comment I've noticed uh a number of people have been leaving comments and the comment says comment because they were listening very closely when it says comment and they made short to comment so for that and H we are sponsored by schie Rosenberg sh and the should have Ayah and our learning should be Aus for her or whatever it is we do here whatever we do should be Aus even if we just keep people busy so they're not speaking Lush and her for an hour as the old story used to go about the Magid you know that alone is worthwhile and if we happened to learn some Torah and share some thoughts that's also important when uh I was a mashah during a particularly dark period of my life so there was this one guy who never got up in the morning and uh when you went into his room his room was covered in little pieces of paper with quotes on them and uh they were absolutely fascinating you know a lot of them he said to me later that he did this because he was hoping the rabbis would get distracted from the quotes and leave him alone and very often it worked because it's amazing how you know a really good quote can uh can really uh make an impact on you when you think about it and there was one I I mean everybody had one I suppose that made an impact on them uh Rabbi flam who was uh who was one of the rash Shiva had lost an eye in a uh what automobile accident and um he seemed to have focused on the quote that said in the land of the blind the oneeyed man is King he just kept looking at that with his one good eye but for me there was one that made a deep impression on me and it was a quote by Minnesota Fats I assume nobody out there has ever heard of Minnesota Fats he was a famous uh pool player if you want to be a little more fancy could call a bards player yeah but he was a pool player they in fact made a movie about him called The Hustler where Jackie geson p played him because he was a very large fellow and um um Paul Newman played this young guy who was T trying to take him he was the Hustler they later remade that like 30 years later with Tom Cruz you know and uh and uh Paul Newman playing the the same role but so but he's based on a real person Minnesota Fats the most famous pool player ever and this is his quote he says I'm a pool player there's probably nothing in this world less important than a pool player but for the record books Let It Be noted I'm the best and that made a deep impression on me because everyone knows the expression anything worth doing is worth doing well one could say the opposite anything not worth doing is not worth doing well yeah so you wonder I've dedicated my life to becoming a great pool player what is the advantage of that exactly what does that do okay so you could argue uh as um as uh the Professor Harold Hill in the music man says you know um helps you cultivate Horse Sense and a cool head and a Keen Eye yeah so I guess you could say it's like any other sport in that sense that it helps you develop skill but to be able to do this for money that is how you make your living that you should be remembered as a great pool player um very interesting those of you who are doing that we had the gar and hedin of who is p who's not allowed to serve as a witness there are certain people who can serve as a witness from the Torah a thief person who has been caught lying and swearing falsely these people obviously you know the Torah says they can't be Witnesses but then there's a list ofon who the rabbis decreed cannot be Witnesses and one of them is a gambler what's the reason that a gambler uh can't be a witness so uh so the gives two explanations um one is that when a person gambles they don't want to give you the money and it's they only G nobody gambles expecting to lose right except for me when I when the Powerball or the MegaMillions gets over a half 500 million so I will buy myself a ticket and I know my chance of winning are less than getting struck by lightning I'm more likely to get struck by lightning than to win the you know the lottery but for $2 you can enjoy the fantasy that I'm going to have a billion dollars I have to remember the last time I was in America and the Mega Millions was at a at a billion I guess I was kind of surprised at the end I still have the ticket I think I think a billion dollars would make a major change in my lifestyle you know um for one thing I'll fix my car but uh you know so you're you're wasting money but most people who go to gamble are not going to gamble to lose money and in fact you hear stories all the time where a person says I'm only setting aside this amount of money and they just keep playing anyway and uh um and they end up borrowing more money and you know there's one comedian said you go to Atlantic City you know and they have all these limousines and they have these tour tour buses you know you in a limousine you go home in a bus you know you lost all your money so but people who gamble don't want to really give you their money why because we pay money for goods and services I didn't get a good and service I I only bet on the assumption that I was going to win otherwise you don't you know um I have uh in my uh University of continuing education I try to make it through the class I is one my bathroom books I read a page or two at a time and um uh I um I really went for it this time I I decided to read War and Peace which is like 2,000 Pages you know a page 200 time but there's this one scene with this guy who is a hustler tricks this guy to to gamble and he and he keeps saying I'm going to stop I'm going to stop and it keeps getting up more and more and more the guy finally stopped you know like got to like 46,000 rubles he just decided to you know um yeah feel bad for the guy but he would have just kept getting deeper and deeper into debt and his family couldn't afford it and they had to pay the bills terrible story but as you read the obsession of course he wasn't playing to lose he didn't want to give the guy the money he didn't have the money to give he was doing it because he was sure he was going to win his money back he was going to get it back so nobody wants to give it um maybe I'll take a moment here to mention that uh gambling is genetic it's an addictive behavior that they've shown already to be genetic so um taking that into account my grandfather was a gambler he didn't have much money but he would like play pacle and he would lose whatever little bit of money he would make you know my father dropped out of school after ninth grade to to go and um uh get get a job to help the family because there was no money my father was a gambler uh he didn't lose large amounts of money to the best of my knowledge but he loved the action the thrill that comes from gambling you know [Music] um I said my father's not a gambler every now and then he goes and gambles he says did he ever lose money or did he always make money with break even I said Tak he always either made money or broke even he says that's a gambler a gambler never loses you know um and so mama I have the gene yeah so uh um not a story that I'm necessarily proud of but uh that's not what this podcast is [Laughter] about you know I had a rebia once said said to me everyone has a purpose in life for lsky yours is to be a bad example so I've tried to live up to that nothing else that people can learn from my mistakes in fact I um I used to teach a retical training course and uh at the end of the year of my last class I would do an evaluation of my course and the comment that I got most often is usually people only share with you their success stories you always share your failures you know I did this and that went wrong I did this and that went wrong and you often learn more from people people's failures and what didn't work than just to listen to everybody you know how everything went well so I I always try to look up to that anyway so for my 21st birthday my parents decided to take me to Atlantic City they said we will you know bankroll you but don't play stupid so my father went to the dice table it was too much noise and action for me I couldn't even figure it out but I knew how to play Blackjack so I sat with my mother for 45 minutes if I had 18 deal I had 19 if I had 19 deal I had 20 if I had 20 deal I had 21 if I had 21 deal I had Blackjack if I had Blackjack deal I had Blackjack I lost every single hand for 45 minutes right I couldn't win one the way gambling works is that you know there's some positive reinforcement to it you know this is the people who set up the little table on the street and play the three card Monty or the or the shell game they do it in such a way that you feel like you're going to make money and you know the shtick and that's why they they suck you in but I just lost for 45 minutes straight at the end I said to my mother I said look just give me the rest of the money in quarters I'll go to the video arcade at least there I stand the chance I just lose every single head you know but people who Gamble and if you want to see that people who gamble don't want to give their money look at little kids when they play drel you give every kid like a little drle and 10 pennies and they play and at the end the kid who lost all of his pennies says okay give me back my pennies and the other kid says no no no you lost him he says no no no they're my pennies doesn't you understand the concept how could I have lost it I didn't get anything I didn't pay for goods or services so that's one reason that uh Gambler is uh is POS for a this the second reason is because you have to be involved in yesu to contribute to the world and um the uh banura says it like this it is user in this world to do anything other than Torah and aod right aod is manual labor Mala is a craft shoe maker a carpenter and is a businessman a businessman is contributing to society that's why um when Yakov comes to Rashi says he either built a shook or he established a monetary system a coinage to help people do business business helps people grow otherwise you just have the barter system I give you apples you give me wheat but you know if I don't have enough apples you don't have enough weed I mean there's no way to to move beyond that a coinage allows you to move to a whole different level of to be able to increase it so is essential to be able to keep Society going um he says but that's it you can only be involved in something in this world where you're producing something and if you're not producing anything what about entertainment I don't know because I distract people okay could be could be that you're making contribution somebody asked me about the you know people who you know uh play sports and people watch it so okay maybe you're giving people entertainment or distraction there are Gamers who just sit online and play video games and they film themselves playing video games and people watch them play video games which to me always seem like an absolutely amazing thing you know it it reminds me when a couple of my grandchildren used to watch this kid Ryan and Ryan would play with toys and make a video and they would watch Ryan playing with toys and I would say to them why don't you play with toys instead of watching somebody else play with toys they couldn't even understand what I was talking about eventually Ryan start marketing his own toys today he's a multi-millionaire but um uh it's amazing that I mean rather than going out and playing sports people would rather watch people play sports I saw a clip many many years ago of a TV show called The Simpsons where he was going to go into this tennis match and instead you know they he hires professional tennis player to play for him and he says says to his wife you see March it's always better to watch things than to actually do them [Laughter] what a musah hoscale that's what that's what sports is so okay Sports maybe they're the you think there's some skill to it but you're watching somebody else play a video game or you're watching another kid play with a toy instead of playing with yourself I just I I I find that just absolutely amazing but um you know that's where we are you know just we're just watching other people live life rather than actually living it ourselves I I think it's it's uh kind of sad but okay but but um but a pool player so okay maybe if a person himself wants to play pool and develop some skill cool head and a Keen Eye yeah um so uh so then maybe it's something yeah but you always have the other possibility yeah uh that is that it just becomes something that distracts you from something that's more important yeah and that's trouble my friends with a capital T and that rhymes with p and that stands for [Laughter] pool but uh but you know so Okay the reason I mentioned this is because he says what I'm doing is essentially unimportant but I'm the best at it and it it leads me to what I wanted to talk about today there's a gamar in uh Sanhedrin that discusses what the purpose of a hpid at a levah is is a hpid for the living or for the deceased meaning is it a coved for the deceased that we are eulogizing him or is it a coved for the living that they have a chance to get covered by speaking about the person who was nift and they bring a lot of Ras back and forth until the gar finally concludes it's a covered for the mace the Naina being if a mace says well if a mace is talking of a big problem but if a person says I do not want any hpim then you don't make a HP the the family cannot insist on having the hpim because it's not for them it's for the deceased so U and that's why Rebel Yos and ran both requested no HP yeah when uh when ran did it it was not observed as meticulously as it was by um by Rebel yoshev so the deceased the nifta has the right to forgo that um it's interesting because uh though those of you who are familiar with my work then probably my most well-known uh talk that I give is called why be Jewish and uh and in it I talk about um the idea of wanting to live a meaningful life and how everybody wants to live a meaningful life yeah I'm I'm borrowing from that for a moment if you'll forgive me those you who have listened to it before you're going to hear it again although I was once in Melbourne Australia and after I gave the talk this woman comes up to me and says this is the 12th time I've heard this speech I said I'm sorry I could have done a different one I got a lot of material she says no no no I came dka to hear it again because it's essentially the first two lines of missil and the M Sharm says in his introduction that the only value of this safer is constant review so the more you Kaz over it the better it goes and that's why I you know I've I've given that talk I'm guessing hundreds of times definitely a hundred times but maybe hundreds of times and um people say how are you not bored of it and I said because I'm inspired by the talk every time I say it you know besides the fact that I hopefully people get something out of it because the kar is so important but I mentioned now everybody you know uh at their end of their life wants to be remembered as uh as being somebody important and having led a meaning meanful life you know so I said you ever go to a levah where there's nothing to say Harry loves cigars Howry always had a cigar yeah uh and love to love to have a scotch none of this fancy stuff today a regular shiv that's what he would drink and smoke a cigar and he'd read the New York Times ah he would read it from cover to cover and Harry's lying there thinking there's got to be something else nope that's it Harry yeah on your Tombstone we're going to put a box of cigars that was it you know and uh and that's it I I I would have tell the story about when I was talking to young men about getting married and uh you have to figure out what your goal in life is the guy says I know my goal in life is to be a dentist I said that's not your goal he said sure it is I said when you're 80 90 years old and you're on your deathbed what do you want him to say he was a dentist he filled many cavities you removed many impacted teeth I mean you your Tombstone will be a big tooth you know what I mean that's it you know so uh so I was talking about this right even a mafia Hitman no one's going to tell the truth you know Vinnie he was a great killer he killed lots of people and always in creative ways yeah they're not going to say that they'll say Vinnie was a good friend Vinnie was loyal Vinnie was good to his mother you know they'll find something positive to say about them but but how are you remembered so very often when I would do this people would say what do you want people to say at your funeral and I said look he's [Laughter] moving I love that line but anyway um so uh uh you know the the idea of HP was such that what is it that you're trying to say so I was a magician in my youth um you know that that trick where you sawar woman in half well I have two half sisters but anyway that comes from like one of these magician joke books they give you you know because most magicians have absolutely no personality whatsoever you know so they uh so they have to have people write them Jokes which is called patter which is just you know to distract people while you're doing whatever it is you're trying to do that's the whole purpose of patter so um I didn't need that you know I was able to be entertaining I wasn't such a great magician I use mostly mechanical tricks and stuff but um but there's all these you know please note at no time do my fingers leave my hands you know this is this is a this is a great trick my brother my brother used to do this trick he was good with his hands he gets out in five years but uh these all these are all just magician jokes you know what I mean a whole SG of magician jokes but anyway um the uh uh so I was during a particular phase and you would hang out at magic shops uh I once went to tannin I don't know if it's even still around this was in the 1970s yeah but tannin was considered the number one magic show uh magic store in the world it was in Manhattan and when I was there all the kid who were there were crowding around this one fellow who it turned out was the amazing Randy I was not so familiar with him but at the time he was considered the you know most uh famous escape artist of the time um you know did amazing escapes he later became known for exposing uriella as a phony um you know psychic and um uh he uh he was very good at that and he was telling stories about what he did it was fascinating that was one there was a place in Long Island in Rockville Center where I lived I lived in North America I wasn't there far uh called esos and I used to hang out over there and he would show you how to do tricks and then it s to you and uh most of the stuff I really couldn't use but one time my father brings me to this old old magician called alaso he died a few years after this and he had a magic shop in downtown Brooklyn near my father's store and he takes me to alaso and he's very old and uh I'm I'm going to uh I'm going to break the Magician's Code and reveal to you how to uh how to do a particular magic trick you'll forgive me um there's different types of producing flowers flower Productions uh one is with what's called spring flowers these are flowers that have a spring on them and you hold them closed so you like keep them in a you know all bunched up when you pull them out they spring open it's it's a great illusion the other one is what are called a feather bouquet these are all feather flowers and because the whole bouquet is made out of feathers it compresses and opens up that's one of the reasons you'll always see when magicians are producing things it's usually like Silk scarfs because silk you can pack it very tightly yeah so um so there is a the standard feather production is you take a cloth you go this way that way you reach underneath and you pull out the feather bouquet I'm going to teach you how to do this yeah you put it in your sleeve beforehand it has a little ring at the bottom that's sticking out you hold up the cloth doing it this way that way and you reach for the little ring and you pull it and pull away the the cloth at the same time it's very very fine illusion yeah alaso says to me you know how to do the Feather bouquet I said sure he says watch this and he goes like this and produces it I and I was surprised because everyone always uses the cloth he says that's my move I invented that yeah and he shows him what he does he puts it in the sleeve of everybody else but just even without the cloth he just uses his hands and pulls it out and he does it quick enough that it suddenly looks like it just appeared it's an even better illusion you don't even need the cloth and he said remember kid that's my move say other people use it but it's my move he died a few years after that I read his obituary and they didn't mention that alaso was the one who developed the bare hand uh feather bouquet um production more is the pity cuz that's how he wanted to be remembered that's that's what you do I might be a magician it may not be that important but I'm the one who developed the barehanded feather bouquet I remember reading the obituary of the fellow who designed the Pringles [Laughter] can and that was what his whole obituary was about and he lived to a nice ripe old age and the only thing anyone could have to say about him was that he invented the Pringles SC and that's his legacy I don't know if he was buried in a very big Pringles can instead of a CO I don't know but that was his contribution was designing the Pringles can that looked like a looked like a tennis ball can you know it's like from a packaging point of view this was a major step forward you know and uh you you read these obituaries this guy came up with the slogan for this ad campaign this person did this this one came up with that and how are you remembered what what did you do afterwards and uh you know it's something that's so sobering I've told the story before and it's not a pleasant story but they took me off of Nucky radio anyways I don't care but um um I um I uh I suffer from type 2 diabetes and it's done all kinds of terrible things to me it's the reason I had my heart attack it's the reason my arteries are all clogged and when the guy went to do the stance you know he says all of your arteries are clogged everything even the minor arteries the diabetes wrecked Havoc with your circulatory system you know you better try to get this under control because you you're not going to keep going this way and um one of the it does lots of stuff you know it it hurts hurts your eyes it uh most of the amputations today are because of diabetes um kidney failure it does it's really it's just terrible just terrible and um uh one of the things it does is slow down your digestive system so uh it's a constant problem of constipation that's right when I get these nasty comments that says orasa you're full of it turns out that they are correct anyway so one time I had it to Kua before I knew that I had to be taking something to deal with this and it was almost two weeks that I was constipated I of course Googled it online and they said you can die from this and I said wouldn't that be the final irony I will die from constipation cuz when you do nobody cares about anything you've ever done in your entire life the entire shiver will be did he try raisin brand did he go for a walk you know did he drink did he drink that did he try this and that would be my entire Legacy just talking about the fact that I died of constipation and I figured that would be it you know that would be my legacy in life so um uh so it it it brings you to the point where when you look back at life and you say how do I want to be remembered what are the things that I wanted to do I remember rendo Weinbach said to me once he quoted Julius Caesar he says I'm quoting Julius Caesar are you familiar with it and I said yes we actually acted it out in high school it was the beginning of a very fine career for me because I didn't get the big Parts I got all of the minor parts so they basically all all the major parts they gave to other kids and I got all the minor parts that weren't given out which I reached my highlight when I did the entire crowd scene and in Julia Seas when uh Mark Anthony's giving his famous speech you know and I was the entire crowd anyway I pulled that off so well that that became my go-to so in MCB there was actually a scene where I had to kill myself uh I I played both the murderer and the victim so I did that but he says I can't I can't quote this anymore you know when I speak here in or because college kids have no education they don't know anything you make you make any reference to them they don't know what you're talking about you know and uh in fact when I T or Gala I was talking about how little college students know today and this was 20 years ago 25 years ago I said they did a study how many books does the average college student read a year less than one that's the answer so it's amazing uh in fact when I first started teaching in discovery of maybe around 35 years ago it was I guess they said we used to have two one and a half hour classes dealing with Evolution and we got rid of them because we as time went on we ended up spending most of the first class teaching the theory of evolution and then the second class explaining why it didn't make sense because most of the students had no idea what it said so now instead if at some point any of the particip ipants in the question and answer or Dr Schroeder's classes or anything someone says what about Evolution we just say yeah that's not a problem and everyone says okay in fact I met somebody who went to work on a college campus for an organization and said you know when you said this in class I didn't believe it I didn't believe it and now that I'm on campus I cannot believe the level of ignorance that these kids have have how little they know and they care even less it's just just an amazing thing how a university education has dropped and this has finally come public when you see what's going on in campuses and things like that and suddenly it's driving home to everybody you spend all this money for this you know degree and you're not getting any education yeah I told the story years ago I spoke to um a group of non-jewish parents and and I was talking about we send our kids to kids to college and what do they do most of the time drink and party that was the answer I spoke to secular Jewish parents I said we send our kids to college and what do they do most of the time drinking party I spoke to a group of Orthodox parents I said we send our kids to college what do they do I'm I'm not talking about people who are going to like you know uh you know a regular you know um College where there's a Torah program with it or people who are in yiv just going you know parttime to college I'm talking about people who go full-time to college they send their kids off to regular colleges I said we send our kids off to college and what do they do most of the time study I said someone here is out of touch with reality you know I said you understand a full schedule in college is two mornings and two afternoons a week you know that's a full schedule I said what do you think they're doing the rest of the time this is not the University of Vienna in 1898 where everyone's walking around with briefcases searching for the meaning of life you know I mean it's it's it's my my you know I I know when they talk to people you always try to sign up for the easiest classes and the easiest professors you're you're not looking for that guy from The Paper Chase who's going to drive you crazy you know you're looking for somebody who's gonna you know um have give me the easiest time to be able to pass you know uh as Tom Lara in his song um about his time in Harvard he L became a har Professor here the last line was he goes and we'll sleep through all the classes and cheat on the exams and will pass and be forgotten with the rest so yeah that's that's more less the college experience you know um a fellow who went on to become a Riva was describing his daughter's high school and he said It reminds me of when I was in dental school he says um we we take in free patients and we basically practice on them and you know they don't have any money so the best they can do is come to dental school and have these kids who are learning to become dentist practice on them and of course you always find the easiest case because you don't want to you know you don't want to challenge yourself you want to get a good Mark so uh one time I said I'm not getting an education this way so the next time I took the hardest case and I didn't do a very good job and I got a bad Mark and the head of the program calls me in and says what are you doing I said I'm trying to learn how to become a dentist he says listen to me closely your job here is to pass graduate without anybody knowing who you are he said I feel the same way about my doter his high school but uh you know um uh you know you don't want to uh have to have to be challenged in that way so um uh people so people go to school and uh you know they they just want to get through do they know anything at the end did they learn anything at the end you know doesn't make a difference so we uh we come at the end of our life and a lot of people just want to get through without anybody knowing who they are what they did and what's remembered afterwards what is what is that epith what is what is around at the end so uh I have uh I've put into my and I've told my kids and I tell anybody who I feel like is close to me that I have made it very clear I do not want any hpim when I die first of all I've been mped so many times when I'm alive every time I get up to speak I get a a bigger and bigger introduction you know and they get more and more over the top you know and uh you know I'm not like rosha rosha would get these unbelievable introductions and he wouldn't even be Miss to them I'm not that good you know I told the story with R D Cohen gets this over the top introduction and he says I wish my parents could have been here to hear that my father would have enjoyed it my mother would have believed it you know so uh you know I get these things over the top I have one of two things that I usually say you know either I say uh wow I realized we're pressed for time because there was so much more to say and I guess we just didn't have enough time to cover everything or I say wow after that introduction I wish I was you so I could be sitting in the audience listening to me but I I don't need I don't HP them plus I hate speeches I always hated speeches I can tolerate mine you know but uh but otherwise I don't like to sit through speeches in fact there's this great picture of me that someone took once where I was on a panel somebody else was speaking and I have this look on my face that's what that's what I look at at these speeches you know so I said listen at the Leva I'm still there you know so I don't have to listen to speeches just put me in the ground as quick quickly as possible you know I appreciate everybody coming you know either it's hot or it's cold or it's raining I don't know stand there and listen to speeches you know just put me in the ground then make a big schim have everybody in their brother speak at the schim I don't care I won't be there I'll be comfortably in gam you know what I mean enjoying you know my just desserts for all the terrible things I've done you know and uh and that's better than having to listen to all these speeches you know it's like this Rabbi brings his synagogue group to Israel and uh um and they gets captured by terrorists they say you know we're going to we're going to kill you all so they say can't we have one last request I says Okay so the r says I've been working on my rashash jasha all year I want to give my jha first he says okay says I've just written a new n I've been practicing it you know for months I want to give my n says okay and the RAB the President says I have my state of the synagogue speech I want to give it first says okay the shamash says listen first grant my request says what's that kill me first rather than holy speeches so that's how I feel you know and uh and and and wife my kids like no you have to have speeches I said no the gar says beish I don't have to have any speeches I don't want any speeches they said someone has to say something I said I'll record something I said I I wouldn't mind listening to that hi everybody good to see you I guess if you're here then I'm horizontal let me just take a room and see who didn't show up because I'm going to come back and haunt you so I got to get around to recording that because you never know you know wouldn't want that to go out but um uh you know but because because to me you know how hard it is to say something meaningful in that kind of a situation uh in fact there's a story the Taz married the Box's daughter and when she died he gave this unbelievable husband and uh afterwards you know after whatever time passed he went to marry his other daughter and the Box said no and he says why he says because that hper was too good you had to have prepared it while she was still alive and if you could write a hpan on my daughter when she's still alive I don't want you marrying the other one yikes why cuz the hp's not so good everyone knows it so that's why aim let everyone sit down put out coffee and cake and let everybody talk you know I would have to be there you know that's the old speakers joke it's an old speaker's joke where the Speaker gets up and he says you know there was this Jew who was you know put into the Coliseum and had to face hungry Lions and the lions come to them and he yells something the Lions they turn around they crash out of the gate and run into the countryside so Emperor has no choice he frees him and he says what did you tell them I said they're going to be speeches after dinner that's the idea sometimes people tell me oh you're such an interesting speaker and I said I'm not such an interesting speaker I'm such a terrible listener I hate listening to speeches so um you know but but the idea is that um whatever people going to say they can say during the Shiva you know they uh everyone can share stories and uh whatever they want I I put in a couple of other things I don't want those sound trucks I don't know if they have these in America but in Israel they have these sound trucks going around you know which are blasting loud and you can't hear what they're saying [Music] and I was like what did he say what and you keep listening out the window I and it gets closer and closer they Mumble it on purpose I don't know why they bother doing this you know so uh I said I don't mind if they want to put up those big uh death signs that's okay so they can put up those little notices you know but uh but I don't want the sound truck and uh I I also I've told my family and all of my loved ones whatever happens I don't want anyone speaking to any publication about me let them make up whatever they want but don't let them tie it on to something I remember I won't mention which publication but I don't know if it makes that much of a difference but um when R korth was nifter they write this whole article and rski who was his grandson-in-law you know now he runs towards he says he's reading this and the none of it's true some of it was half true some of it was nothing it was made up andone I said to them how did you put this out none of it's true he goes yeah we had a deadline we just made it up I said listen let them make up whatever they're going to make up I don't I don't want want them quoting anybody I've had very bad experiences with the with the media including the from media uh not a fan not a fan you know there was uh um I I I I will qualify this I used to write colum in the hamia and I had only the the finest um the finest experiences you know they edited uh my articles heavily because I'm too controversial for that often they would criticize me that um my uh columns were too clever they have to be simpler preferably your ni Amic pentameter you know the reason children neither that everyone has to make sure that eat a healthy breakfast whatever it is you know so um uh so it uh you know but but when people would write in a letter they wouldn't publish it until they showed it to me and give me a chance to respond and if I asked them not to publish it they wouldn't publish it there's a different publication that had asked me to write and I said no and so they had like you know they said okay well can we call you up and ask you questions and we'll write up your answers and I agreed so what did they do they print a letter from somebody attacking what I said they didn't understand what I was saying in the first place the whole thing was was just you know uh half of it was character assassination they never showed it to me beforehand they never asked me they didn't give me a chance to respond the next time they called me I said I have nothing to do with your publication you know this is a Torah publication not where I come from you know this concept that everybody has a right to say any YY nasty thing they say because because it's a uh letter to the editor because we're the media shom I've I've I've seen letters to the editor where they you know where they attacked Gul Torah somebody wrote a letter you know uh um they were attacking R pom and it was printed just the way it was and then say who's this pal guy who said you know like you publish that that's Rous I'm sorry you call yourself a Torah publication you should be closed down immediately and any place that publishes these kind of things and so some of them say well you know we publish Anonymous letters but we see who the people are that's nonsense you know the person who you're attack attack in had the decency to sign their name to what they were saying then you have the decency to sign your name to your attack you don't write something anonymously you know I don't care give you initials you got something to say you sign your name and you stand up to it so why do they do they want to sign the name they don't want to face the consequences yeah though maybe you should think about that before you write something attacking somebody in the publication you don't want to face the consequences but you're okay attacking somebody else this is mish I don't understand how anyone thinks this is M these letters to the editor colum and and when you have these quote unquote from you know news sites where they allow comments you know these vicious comments and Lush and horror and horrible things you know um I uh uh there are certain sites where um my videos go up and when people write nasty comments about me I don't care I keep it up but when people say things about other people I immediately erase them you know I don't I don't uh who who who do you think you are you're going to get on and make some nasty comment about somebody anonymously you coward you know I and and I don't care I would love to hear from any of these from Publications which a heter is to write letters anonymously attacking people what right do you have this is mish and Isa I don't care what you call yourself a Torah publication nonsense it's Mish Rous you know and and anyone who does it should close it down you know that's what I think and that's why there was one publication where someone who writes a regular column asked if he could interview me and I said absolutely not I don't believe in the quote unquote Torah media I think it's I think it's a terrible thing you know and he says to me I agree with you but I got a [Laughter] column so uh I'm sorry I went on a little rant there but I said you know so you know anyone who feels that they're corro to me please do not speak to any of these Publications uh if if anyone gets up if you have to be at the levia and they're giving a hit stand up and make him a say no he doesn't want it drop this guy in the ground now put him away I take this sucker home already you know and uh and that's it and if there's a sound truck stick a stick a cloth in that loud speaker over there you know so that's it I've got other stuff in there but um but since I'm talking about HPM you know so uh um uh but that doesn't mean there isn't something to say you know people want you know so what do you want to write on your Mata you know your name could be here I'm willing to sell advertising but seriously if I had to write an epicat it would be he tried not even that he succeeded I don't need that he succeeded just that he tried you know that's it that's all that's all that I could ask from anybody to remember afterwards and besides there are hours and hours of about me out there in the internet I was saying something once in a sh and they said oh you're lucky it's not being recorded I said do you know how much stuff there is out there that's recorded that I've said that's outrageous don't worry about it if anyone wants to take me down let them take their best shot I've said so much stuff and and uh I'm not really afraid you know at this point so um uh but the but the the the point is when you see what is important to people Al flossa want to remembered for the bear handed feather flow production you know um uh Minnesota Fats that he was the best pool player of all time you know Houdini was known as the greatest um escape artist of all time that's that's how he was remembered you know and uh that's not how the is remembered and uh you know somebody who's great is remembered for the things they've done the things they've said the things they've built that was a story I drifted off in the middle my ADD kicked in and that is he says to me I can't quote this line from Julius Caesar because none of the kids know what it is anymore that's how I got detracted yeah um I started talking about colleges and I forgot why now I'm my boy he said Mark Anthony says the evil that men do live on but the good is often forgotten I think that's the quote I may par paraphrasing um and he said in yish kite we say just the opposite the evil that men do is forgotten because it's not real ra is an illusion all of the evil will disappear like a puff of smoke it's not real all the good things you do are real that's why when a person dies and they say all these nice things about him um you know people are complicated nobody's perfect yeah I always tell my wife you got the last one you know it's a old joke is I was always waiting for Mr Right I didn't realize his first name was always but uh you know nobody's perfect so we're all a mixed bag of good and bad things but when a person dies right that's the old joke they tell Kos after you die everybody's a kados but the reason is because the bad things that you do aren't real they're not they they don't represent you they're not your real etum right thear says nobody sins except because of the or the malus has nothing to do with who you are you're a good person and so the good things that you do live on after you're gone and that's how we have to live our lives have to live our lives hoping that the things that we do in this world you know when a yours head comes around so it's a yadin for thear as I mentioned in shat is uh is the yard side of my mother and my father and uh um my mother came from my house where her father didn't go to SCH on yum Kipper and U my father got no Jewish educ ation at all had got very little secular education also he dropped out of school after nth grade to go to work to support his his family but uh they made a sacrifice to send their kids to Yeshiva they made that choice and they became from after my father's heart attack at uh you know at the age of 67 and uh and because of that decision to get the kids a Jewish Education he has they have over a 100 great grandchildren who are all being brought up in Tor Mitzvah which is an unbelievable record of accomplishment you know and that lives on and every yite comes around and you look at the list of children and you look at the children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren who are in Hab you know I'm not the only Rabbi olowski running around out there there's a whole bunch of us you know I really I if I ever get them all in one place I want to have a podcast with call the rabbi olowski show with all the rabbi olowski I think that would be very exciting but anyway um at least from my family there are other RAB olowski out there too and other cultures and languages but um but the point is that you build something in this world and that lives on Beyond you and so you have to decide whether it's going to be a particular magic move that I played pool that I was an influencer and pushed products I made a lot of money or that I lived an exceptional life and that's it for this week if you want to find out more about the show you can go to my website rabovsky dcom you can uh um sponsor an episode sponsor a question and answer sponsor a par five you can um um listen to old old shurm and read other articles that I've written uh you can sign up for one of our online um I've started to get some interest in the question and answer uh uh Shar that I had mentioned um before so um I have already a few people who have written in that they're interested if you are interested in signing up for a question and answer um uh share where we answer the basic questions of Judaism and Ceder and go through it you know please uh write let me know and and uh we will believe that organize that assuming that we can get that going and uh that's it for this week until next time I am deav olowski and this has been the rabbi olowski show it's the rabbi orlovski show Tor and S ready to go the rabbi orlovski show knowledge and wisdom will help you grow lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhyme no we don't it's the rabbi orlovski show on Rabbi orlovsky dcom Tor anytime YouTube and more it's Rabbi orlovsky show Torah and to go the rabbi orski show till next time we meet again the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi Orlowski show