Episode 7: Wait and See

[Music] welcome my name is rabbi devid Orlowski and this is the rabbi or a laugh ski show here on what is sometimes the podcast and sometimes not depending on when you were born and it is so nice to have everybody back this is episode 7 we have actually done this now for seven weeks this is absolutely incredible for somebody who is inconsistent as I am and almost everything that I do and it's it's an amazing thing and I I just came back from America literally I just came back from America and I am still incredibly jet-lagged but I just have to take a few minutes to tell you about this trip to America and I'll explain to you why this is important also for the podcast but first of all I did a Shabbos in the young Israel of Houston with Rabbi Wender and that was phenomenal I had this course of staying with Yaakov Paula Chuck and his family and it was just the overall experience with just something so wonderful we had such a nice turnout it was such a just a beautiful shop it's a beautiful shop is for everybody who was involved in I was speaking certainly for myself Sunday morning I did a program with the belly a Jewish Center rabbi Jackman and we had an overflow crowd and and I think it was also just a wonderful wonderful event I went from there Scottsdale Arizona for mcore rabbi broomer we also had an unbelievable event over 120 people in Scottsdale Arizona and many of whom had never come to an event before and it was again fantastic just a great thing I got to speak to Sister to Sister and Flatbush which is an organization that deals with divorcees and they said they got such a nice you know much larger turnout than usual and I have to say when you have an organization for divorcees and you have a very large turnout that's a little it's a little bittersweet because I'm glad that somebody people came to get physic and I'm sorry that there are so many people in this situation I get this host to spend Shabbos with Khayyam Coen Saban and Flatbush for the Syrian community he hosted us me and my wife in his home and him and his wife and his children it was such an amazing Shabbos we walked up and down Flatbush to various but the Knesset in the Syrian community and it was such a great chance to get get an exposure I spoke in the five towns for in Sharia muna for Kazakh and I spoke in Ezra Academy in Queens for Kazakh and both events were very exciting I had this course to participate in the in the mantra which is simpler in Borough Park and a chévre Broncos I don't always get to do that and that was a that was a big thrill and and I got to speak for the first time and Staten Island and as I said at the beginning of my talk I've driven through Staten Island many times on my way to someplace else to speak and I actually got to speak for the Willowbrook community kollel and it was tremendous represent was organizing it and a shout out to Sara proof who helped to organize it and there was gavel dick I also had the opportunity to speak in sha Lamas where my granddaughter actually goes to school and I got to speak to the staff and mrs. Mac who does absolutely a fabulous job she called me up and asked me if I would come and speak and I'd say Mr Mac there are certain people I cannot say no to and you're one of them and it was certainly a privilege and I ended my trip Sunday morning with my old friend and good friend Ruby Landsman and yeshiva of central Queens got to speak to parents and and children got to see my nephew Lhasa and and my great niece and it was such a tremendous thing now this is interesting but the the main reason I'm bringing this story up is because everywhere I went people came over to me and said I'm watching a podcast and that to me is just amazing amazing that all around the country you know people are watching this and number of them actually enjoy it and that's that's just terrific it's just such a terrific thing to know that that was the reason I started this I started this to be able to have a kasher with people you know all around that I wouldn't normally have a chance to call and I've been getting many comments and many emails from people asking questions on it or just giving me physics saying you know how nice this is and how wonderful it is and you know I'm glad we're doing this and you know for me it's it's a wonderful experience because this is time I would probably just be using poorly and instead I get to use it to be able to speak about interesting things some of them have to do with Torah and to share them with so many people so thank you all for watching and for listening whether it's on tour anytime or on YouTube where more and more people have been subscribing it's nice to see iTunes or anywhere where you get podcasts so you know cuz acrobats I hope that we continue to do this for a long time to come alright one last bit of business and that is I'm going to be back in America December 14th and 15th in the good of Madison every Reisman what is course that's going to be and I'll be speaking at them I love them okay so if you're anywhere within flying distance of Brooklyn for that Shabbos by all means please come I'd love to see you and wonderful to have you participate in that event and and the Thursday of that week and I think it's December 19th I'm gonna be in the young Israel of Baba and I was down in Florida and based on the snowstorm that I got caught in in New York on November 15th March the middle of November a snowstorm I sat in traffic for seven and a half hours on my way to my nephew's husana in Muncie I could not get there and I wasn't gonna give up even though was a quarter to ten I wasn't gonna give up my brother took the Tappan Zee Bridge he got within five miles of the hole and he said every Road Muncie was closed and when I left at a quarter to ten the George Washington Bridge was still closed I was able to somehow get off the highway and get back to Long Island what a nightmare what a nightmare in the middle of November snow so I'm looking forward to seeing all of you in Florida if anybody else would like to see me in Florida I'm certainly available yeah or for that that matter the Bahamas Puerto Rico you know any of the Caribbean islands would work out just fine for me all right all right enough business let's let's talk a little Tiger parshas via schlock an action-packed partial I'm gonna throw out an idea that I haven't developed because you know what's nice is I get so many comments it could be that somebody speaks about this and I just haven't come across it which is you know not unusual but I've always felt like you know people who know everything I feel so bad for them because they never have the thrill that I do of like stumbling on Arashi that you either never saw I forgot you know I mean and you know my guys sure I'm with people my if they don't know everything I don't know who caught them on it you know and you know but I feel like there is an integral relationship between the parish's value slaw mashaallah and schlock I've been developing some ideas why that might be but I just feel like it can't be by coincidence that all of these have the word schlock in it that's just my feeling yeah I feel the same thing with certain other party O's that seem to have this kind of this kind of a sense to it via Rivera you know I don't know we could we can argue I can I can come up with with some connections and things like that I'm noting that as we used to say back over time as Mara you know saying that you know it's gonna stand up the test of time but anyway I'm just throwing that out there that's that's not what I'm speaking about it's just what I wanted to throw out there I wanted to speak about one of the characters in Tana whose life is fascinating and not necessarily in the best way and that is yakov's daughter Dena now maybe it's because I have a daughters that I feel a certain you know I'm drawn to the story of daughters but as far as we know this is the only Jewish daughter that we encounter yeah Avraham according to the Midrash had a daughter called back oh yeah and that's an interesting story and and and the Martian is run bonded the first discuss about the role about about this this young lady but the only one that we actually find in the Torah spelled out until the first one anyway it spelled out is Deena and Deena has a interesting trajectory not necessarily one of the more positive stories yeah and Leia has six boys Lane has six boys and she's pregnant the seventh time and she's worried it's an interesting she's worried she's gonna have another and she is concerned that if so since bill and Zilpah already each have two sons then her sister rahel will only have one son she'll have seven and even though it was so important to them to be able to have the shut him there was this drive to have this fought them since when are we speaking of every Reisman stroll I'm going to throw out an idea I heard from a Reisman years and years ago that made a dramatic impression on me and I want to share with you there was a bracha given when the our own was being brought up and it got to kick your Arum so there was the whole mice that happened over there and and Uzi was killed and they stopped they left it and the fellow who was watching the our own in his house there was a special bra because of this special Brava governor Malik decided to go back and finish the job of bringing the iron up his five daughters and his wife each had six children each one of them gave birth to sextuplets and so when yet and ever heard this brothel he decided you know we really have to bring it up iseman said thirty-six babies at the same time in that house how many people would look at that today as a brother my daughter has twins and daughters twins and and there's a it was this comedian you know he was he said on a show you know he says me and my wife we just had twins and he was start applauding he says those are the single people married people like well dodged that bullet it's very hard you have twins it's very alright I see for my daughter you know yeah up the whole night yep so night if you can get them both in the same exact schedule but why would any child have that of consideration for a parent that's that's just not what they're there for use it feels like you finished one you start with the other one this one's crying this one you've changed a diaper there's one you have to view there's no day there's no day that's with ads with two babies yeah triplets who can even imagine triplets 36 babies in the house and every Reisman points out this was before disposable diapers do you see that is a problem yeah as I traveled around the country so last matzo Shabbos I had this course thermal of Malca and also invited was rabbi trump from the young age of lawrence Cedarhurst and he was he was asked what would you say the three biggest problems that are confronting the from society right now and one of the he mentioned was the tuition crisis that there's and I met over a dozen families over a dozen families who said to me I wish we could have more children but we can't afford the tuition there's something seriously wrong with at our educational system that discourages people from having children it's gonna be something wrong with that and I and I understand a judgement of anybody has for Sholem but but you realize that that this this is a situation that demands some sort of response from the firm community if our tuitions are such that they discourage Jewish people from when they have more children there's there's something seriously wrong I'm is mommy something seriously wrong yeah as I've mentioned many times the only reason I have this podcast is because this is the only chance I have to rant and rave about things that are bothering me that's why there were two different suggestions for for title Jarreau Dave's raves and Dave's rants you know and I said I don't rave and rant okay maybe sometimes I'm selling gay I'm gonna stand on my soapbox now what's the solution yeah Dave berry who is a humorist you know out of the Miami Herald he wins in if you're not part of the solution so no usually they say it's part of the problem if you're not part of the solution you're a journalist I don't have the power to be able to solve problems but those of you who do and I know there is some real question but people were listening to this we got to do something you know there is enough money and resources and the firm community to solve anything if we want to and maybe we should be putting together some kind of a super fund to underwrite tuition for everybody and just encourage people to wanna you know if we only give the the tuition relief to people who literally can't afford it then you're saying the people who can't afford it who are you know nice responsible people and they say you know I don't want to take don't take a scholarship so the their only option then does that to have any children because you know they can't afford the tuition so we got to do something we gotta do something yeah I'm just throwing money out there but they want their children what they have children and so Leia is pregnant now with a shave it lets Michael Cashman ten of them had already born right she had six bill ed - so bad - who's number 11 Joseph it's interesting she was miss Donna pregnant with the Oh safe she dove in that she turned into a girl and that became Deena sir viago kamenetsky says an amazing idea she says the wires were crossed tourists an extent Bianca can say this I wouldn't say this at my own yeah he says that's why Deena is a it's honest it's honest is seen as a male thing to do and I'm I'm not getting into any social Norm's now will role of women or those kind of things it's just you know a girl is lush and bass from Russian bias they tend to be more in the house if man is goes out bearnaise solution Bonet goes out and builds does something it's seen in that context again I'm I'm not getting involved now with any you know just a simple idea that it's honest at least in the Torah is seen as more of a male thing to do and Deena's he it's honest she's seen as its son is because it says rebuke oh that's a certain male quality now what do we see by yo safe yo safe is fixing up is here is fixing up his eyes send me that seen as more of a female trait reveai COO says it's because of the fact that she was pregnant with yo safe and she turned it into Deena so that there was a certain switch that took place astounding concept but she had this mysterious nephesh that she decided she was going to have a girl why so that her sister should not be hurt and so her decision that have Deena was an act of selflessness and what was the result of that so Deena gets kidnapped and raped and the brothers destroy the city of scram and the process of getting her back and as a result of that yeah the nation's rise up all around Anna Takeo say exactly Jakov and his sons they have to have this big war in order to be able to fight their way out and and Deena herself will not leave unless Shimon promises to marry her marry his sister and they there's this there's this sense of you know there's there's this expression no good deed goes unpunished you know you do something nice you'll end up paying for it yeah so try to help people and what ends up happening and unfortunately yeah there's a lot of source material suggest people go out do nice things and the result doesn't work out too well so here Leia was nice enough be able to have a daughter and as I mentioned the first Jewish daughter who's reported and all of tonight and what's the results results don't work out so well doesn't work out so well rabbi smash of is blemish we had such a shame he's aku it's a such a Malayalam Tamil Maximus Lee Ballad of a dog when I was growing up that was a song but the concept remains essential you cannot understand anything if you're looking at it in the immediate and we are unfortunately in an age where people have very little patience I saw a sign once that said god grant me patience and give it to me now people people can't wait instant messaging you right somebody if they don't write you back right away you know then you're right back in capitals I was in America I was actually doing stuff somebody here at Stroh sends me an email with such a such be ok dunno oh there this oh it was a it was a white SAP all along watch that I would happen to be speaking and he writes back like five minutes later oh you're not answering so I guess that like that my final answer burger I said I can't answer every what's up email message as it comes in sometimes I need a little time and he was very surprised I understand this because most conversations I have with people today are by looking at the top of their head as they're looking down at their phone answering an email or what's up or a message and and you know and they're of the generation where they go like this you know you know I would sometimes you know get a message and I would you know write a response you know and it would take me to put it together I'd send it off and then seconds later I get a three-page your response you know how is it even possible it's not even possible is that there's a generation today that that has instance there's no chance so if you want to understand what happened over here with Dina and with LeAnn with that other on the second that doesn't make any sense max was labeled Ovid or Dina has a daughter estas and estas goes down to Egypt and got caught up in the excitement as yo safe now no it's soft as pranaya would ride in his chariot all the girls would so she'll throw their jewelry and as the jewelry is falling something catched him out of the corner of his eye and he sees Bais Yaakov he says disobey shock of girl here no aggregation run around yet looks into it finds out she's talking from bezier curve and she marries it and has two children and from that relationship come off rhymer Menasha who become to sh button yeah there was sort of like 13 shut him and the extra shavette came about in this horse of Leia and Deana it came about through that relationship so Leia gave up so to speak the extra shaven and yet she got the extra shave it back but you got it you got a you have to have a perspective the Madras where Mosher Boehner and there's a lot of different cameras image Russian where Moshe Rabbeinu is trying to understand Sadiq ver Ali he's trying to understand how things in this world work yeah and he sees this guy come to the well and he drops his money he's the second guy come to the well finds the money takes the money and leaves a third guy comes to the well the first guy comes back and says where's my money says I didn't see your money yeah he says you're lying to me you thief and he kills him and motion which is this whole scene unfold I can't understand it and a curse broker says you're not gonna understand the ways of my shed there's certain things you're just not gonna understand and he presses him this is okay yeah the first guy's father stole money from the second guy's father so I had to get that money back from the first guy to the second guy yeah the third guy killed the first guys fathers so the first guy comes over and kills the third guy right yay you're looking at it just at the moment or as the puppet time says a person comes to show on Shabbos and he says the guy but you don't know what you're doing he didn't give the rubber Illya you didn't give the guevara sitting up front illegally he says I gave him last week you're walking in here for one Chaves and you think you understand everything that goes on in the shoulder you don't there's a lot of different details that go on there's a lot of things that are outside of what you can see just by looking in at this moment there's more to the picture so so we look at a story like Dina and if we just look at it in context it's a big problem big problem most of us don't have patience those without patience I have a daughter who's very smart and a very good girl and she went and applied to a high school he was filling that was not as good as the level that she was on but her sisters had went there and she felt listen you know it's a warm place my sisters went there I'll go there anyway even though it wasn't on the level for where she was intellectually and she applied there was the only place she applied and after the deadline she was turned down always after the deadline now I was very surprised because I had a personal relationship with the head of the seminary you know the seminar they called here the high school ahead of the seminar I had spoken in high school I had donated Monica nice cool to me it was sort of a no-brainer you know I spoke to me says no this can't be this can't be and he speaks to the people in charge them for whatever reason they said no no and we're putting our foot down and nothing nothing to talk about so the only place that was willing to take it was a high school that had a very not good reputation so so the people in the school of her high school said listen we really wanted you to go to this better high school and we're gonna now use all of our influence here we call it protection to try to get you in so she says to me above what do I do do I go to the high school that's not so good and I know that I'll get him do I try to wait and see if you compression your friend and the high school I was gonna go to so that I can go there or should I go with my school and try to get into this better high school what does Hashem want from me and I said when it's all over I'll tell you what the co2 dish my days because I don't know I'm in the middle of the process I can't tell you in the middle of the process and that's why when Moshe I'm an assistant coach merical I want to see you why Shem says well you can't see my friend you can see my back and he shows him his back and the Gomorra says he's wearing your the night of his filling heezy the night of his job so you can't see how his front you could see his back what does that mean and I shine West filling you know it's a very very big parrot to fill it you know what's going on here so the shot is most repented to understand why events are happening when I see something bad happening why is it happening i shadow says you won't see the front you'll see the back after it's over you'll look back and understand it and appreciate it but you can't understand events as they're unfolding wait patience and that's why much Roberto said he showed them the back of the phone to not because when you see this two straps in the front you don't know where they're coming from until you see that knot the back you have to go to the source and until you get to the source you don't understand what's happening so there are a lot of things that are lives which don't make sense to us now and I can't always explain it in the process you know people come to me think why is this happening to me but I can't always tell you when it's all over I'll tell you what the sea otter dish Maya was and afterwards I was able to see the sea after the smart because had she gone to this regular high school she wouldn't have been challenged where her sisters went and so she went to this much better high school and she got to see how her principal and assistant principal is really the high school placement person and you know and everybody hermana and everybody pushed to get her in so that she saw how much they all cared about her it was it was tremendously after this Maya but you couldn't see it when it was happening sometimes we need patience yeah and if we have patience I was when speaking to a group of women I was we were doing me toes so I said which me did you want to do first and they said selves Lourdes I said you'll have to wait till we get to that because some things you have to wait when hi Maya they wanted to make him the rubber Vilna they said but yeah but you're only 17 years old and he says I know it's a problem but some problems are solved with time sometimes we need a little patience a little time to be able to see how things are going and where they're going to go and what the roots and Hashem is in the mid side shim every one of us can see leotta Shem in our lives we can see it now in the short term and as the story unfolds you'll get to see with us see eightish Mary was where Hakodesh burrow who is helping you go and it's a Shem we'll have the scores and the Koya to be able to have the physic to be able to withstand in the serious that come our ways and the strength to be able to come to people with Buzzbee you