Devarim: Don’t Throw in the Kitchen Sink

Hi, this is Dov Wolasky with the parsha in 5. We're in 5 minutes. We try to give you a little insight into the parsha. And we start a new safer this week, of course, safer Devarim. And uh it basically begins with Moshe Rabbeinu's farewell address to Klal Yisrael. But his farewell address is described as a tochacha. He is giving them reproof. He's giving them mussar. And as Rashi explains, he waited till the end of his life for various reasons, which maybe we'll talk about it another time. But he waits till the end of his life to give it over. And the pasuk introduces it as follows. Eleh devorim asher dibber Moshe el kol Yisrael be'eiver haYarden. On the east bank of the Jordan. Ba'midbar, in the desert, ba'Aravah. In the Aravah. Mul Suf, across from the Yam Suf. Bein Paran u'vein Tofel veLavan. Lavan. >> [clears throat] >> VeLavan. In between Paran and Tofel and Lavan. VeChatzeiros veDi Zahav. There's a lot of direction being discussed over here. And Rashi takes it apart. Ba'midbar, lo ba'midbar hayu, ela be'Arvos Moab. They weren't in the desert. Why does it say "the midbar"? Elah bishvil ma she hach'isuuhu ba'midbar. Yeah, when the people complained in the desert. Ba'Aravah, what is that? Bishvil Arvos Moab. When they sinned in Arvos Moab by Baal Peor. Mul Suf, what is that? What they did at the Yam Suf. Bein Paran, Bein Tofel, VeLavan. Am Rabbi Elazar ben Azaryah lo kam mikrov lo matzinu makom sheshmo Tofel Lavon. I looked through the whole Tanakh and I can't find a place called Tofel Lavon. Ela hochichan al hadvarim she uh toflu al ha man shul Lavon. Would you attacked the man which is white. So uh they sinned with that. V'amru v'nafshenu kotza b'lechem ha klokel. Umasha asu b'Midbar Paran. What's Paran? The meraglim. V'Chatzeros. That was because of Korach. Alternatively, the story of Miriam speaking lashon hara. V'Dizahav. That's the Egel ha Zahav. So Moshe Rabbeinu is going through a whole collection of sins that the Jewish people had committed. He doesn't start uh by going through all of them. He deals with them one at a time. Subject by subject, bit by bit. He lists all of them at the beginning b'remezah. Right? He hints to them. Because of the kavod of Bnei Yisrael. Which means what? Which means it tells you something very important about giving tokhakha. And that is they have what they call in marriage a kitchen sink argument. What does that mean? It means I start to argue with you about one thing and I throw in everything that I'm upset about including the kitchen sink. That's the expression. Because at that point, it's no longer constructive. If I think that there's a problem I want to address somebody about, one of my children, one of my friends, my spouse, one of my family members, one of my tell me them, I'm not going to be effective if I say, "You did this wrong and this wrong and this wrong and this wrong and this wrong." Cuz at that point, you've destroyed the person. There's no way you can answer everything. If I say to you, "What about this and what about this and what about this and what about that?" There's nothing to do. It's the end of the story. But if you want to discuss a particular issue, let's talk about a particular issue. And let's address that, which is what motion of you know does. He's marames at the beginning. He hints to the fact that we're going to be dealing with a lot of different subjects, but I don't tell you what it is. I just tell you there's a lot of things that we need to talk about, but right now I would like to talk about this. That's the only way that you can have a conversation. You can't have a conversation with somebody if I throw 10 things at the person. Because it doesn't matter. Even if I can defend myself against all of these things, it it it just makes me look terrible. But if you want to talk to me about one thing, let's deal with one thing. And when we reach the point that I can get you to understand that, we can move on to something else. But there's no way that you're going to be able to attack somebody on eight different things and expect them to walk away from that intact. So, as we approach Tisha B'Av and we understand that it's a time when Hakadosh Baruch Hu gives us tochacha, gives us reproof. And it's a time when all of us need to be introspective. Let's treat ourselves with the same respect that motion had for Israel. Let's deal item by item and as we get different things down and we solve different problems, that'll give us the strength to go on and change more things. Everyone should have a good Shabbos.