Achrei Mos/Kedoshim: The Power of Boundaries

Hi, this is Rabbi Laskin with the Parsha in 5, where in 5 minutes we try to give you some insights in the Parsha and just like last week, this is a double Parsha, Acharei Mos Kedoshim. Yeah. Uh, so you can look for certain themes that exist in both of them. Obviously, there's certain things that uniquely are in Acharei Mos. Like the Yom Kippur service. There are certain things that are uniquely in Kedoshim, like "V'ahavta l'rei'acha kamocha." Yeah. But there's one thing that's repeated in both of them and that is the Parsha of "arayos." And it's a very interesting concept. Right? The Torah said there are certain people you cannot marry. Can't marry. And uh there are those you have learned Yevamos you know there's a long list of relatives and there's a whole bunch of people that you're not allowed to marry from the Torah. Some of them are punishable by death and some of them by kareis. Some are allowed. And then there are people that are also mid'rabbanan and that's called "shniyos." I remember when Rabbi Yosef had a great great granddaughter, he told somebody, "Even mid'rabbanan I could marry her." >> [laughter] >> Good to know. You can't marry your granddaughter your your great granddaughter, but your great great granddaughter we will not gaze on. Yeah. So uh just keep that in mind. Anyway, if you live long enough. So um there are these things now seems like a strange concept. Um there's a pasuk in Va'yikra which says "V'yifku al mishp'choseihem." Rashi says on the union of their families because until that time there were arayos that were permitted to Bnei Noach. I.e. a man could marry his sister. And um Avraham says about Sarah, "She's my sister." She was really his niece, but called her my sister. Uh Yitzchak says about Rivka, "She's my sister." She's really a cousin, but they use this term sister, pretend there's a sister. The Chazal say that the shvatim married their sisters. 12 tribes married their sisters. And uh and then at Har Sinai, when we got the Torah, that became assur. So if you were married to your sister, you had to divorce them. Right? Uh it obviously doesn't apply if you come from Somalia, apparently. And you're in the Congress, but for for the most part we we don't have brothers and sisters getting married. Moshe's parents were arayos. Amram married his aunt. That's not allowed. Now from the Torah, a man can marry his niece. Which again, sometimes sounds a little strange to people, but when you consider that when my son was born he was an uncle three times, which means he had two nieces who were older than him. When I was in yeshiva, you know, this guy uh he's talking to this girl outside of the yeshiva, you know, I was in derech, so they said, "Look, we don't have a rule against talking to girls, but don't do it right in front of the yeshiva." So he says, "Rebbe, that's my aunt." I said, "Okay, I've heard cousin, I've heard sister, you know, aunt?" It was his aunt. It was the same age as him. >> [laughter] >> These things happen. So an uncle can marry a niece, but a nephew cannot marry an aunt. That's arayos. So Yocheved, who was the daughter of Levi and Amram, who was the grandson of Levi, he was the son of Kehas they were not allowed to get married. They had to get divorced. >> [snorts] >> So what were they so upset about? What what what's this taiva to marry? You said most people today don't don't think about it. You know, marry my sister, you know. Somebody came to Reb Zalman and said someone suggested a shidduch for me but she's a giyores. She's a convert. And I wasn't sure whether or not you know, I want to get involved in that. So Reb Zalman said, "What are you talking about? There's a special mitzvah to love the ger. And because of that what to love a convert you just by getting married not only get the mitzvah of loving your wife, you get the mitzvah of loving a ger. That's an unbelievable thing. It's the two for one. There is a natural love between a brother and a sister. They're already close. >> [snorts] >> Uh that's the reason that people used to marry their niece. And you'll find sometimes in the Gemara it says you know, if there's a case of adultery, we're afraid that the guy won't act upon it, "Shema Yisrael al bas achoso." Because marry maybe he married his niece and he loves his niece already. Meaning there's a base level of love that I'm building on. So the same thing is true by a brother and a sister, obviously. There's a certain base level of love that we're going on. And so when Kodesh Baruch Hu says you can't marry this one, you can't marry that one. It's not that there's something inherently wrong with it, obviously not. Kodesh Baruch Hu said, "These have to be off-limit." And that's why it's interesting when the Anshei Knesses HaGedolah removed the desire for avodah zarah, they also re- removed the desire for giluy arayos and ended up nobody was getting married. So they put it back in and they just kept uh having removed the taiva for arayos. And today a normal person doesn't think, "Gee, I'd like to marry my sister." Yeah? I mean, it has the advantage only have to invite one side to the wedding, you know. You get all the kibudim. But nonetheless, it's not looked upon as normal. It's not natural. Although nobody can say it's wrong or or right. When people when people ask me, you know uh the Torah's position on homosexuality so I say is it okay to marry your sister? Usually they say no. Maybe you have a you have a contrarian. Usually they say no. I said, "Why?" It's not natural. So who says it's not natural? That's your uh morality that you're imposing on me. I think it's fine. So the kids will come out messed up. We're not going to have kids. What do you say? And they can't explain why it's wrong, but they understand on a basic level it's wrong. And that's that was once upon a time that there was a certain concept of what's right and what's wrong built into the human psyche. And so we have to understand we respect our relatives and we have to keep things, you know kosher b'yosha. I had a guy in yeshiva, he had this aunt who wasn't religious. And uh she wanted to hug him and kiss him when she saw him. And he says, "What do I tell her?" Say, "I'm sorry, auntie, I don't trust myself. I might get carried away." He goes "She's in her 70s." I said, "Then you'll definitely have made her day." >> [laughter] >> Hi, have a wonderful and have a wonderful Shabbos and we should be am hakodesh that we are mamash kedusha. Rashi says "Kedoshim tihiyu" is "perishut arayos from erva" to be able to maintain ourselves as a holy people. Shabbos.