50: COLOR WAR!!!

[Music] hi this is Deborah Orlowski welcome to the rabbi Olaf ski show and whether you're watching on YouTube or wherever you watch or listen to your podcast we are so happy to have you along for this episode 50 gadzooks 50 of these things are ready hard to believe and that's 25 hours of almost Torah content I hope you appreciate that yeah so so we're in the summertime some some summertime summertime summertime zum-zum zum-zum thank you very much and this is Venice Vienna and it's of course the summertime yeah now there's an expression that the Jewish holidays are either early or late but they're never on time yeah Mr Schiller's early this year mr. Chen is late this year but never goes out on time well I have to say that as close as possible it comes out on time this year because we're Scottish ll is September 1st mohnish we are as lined up as one could hope for it to be yeah start the the school year we start ello now there are some years where Rosh Hashanah comes out right at the beginning schools don't even have time to be able to teach anything they go boom right into the totem now you have a month to get ready prepare yourself for the event of MU and the school start with the ideal but the Fed past four years it's you know we've had Irish Scottish ello unlike August 8th and I remember I was in America I was speaking and I said how could you have ello at the beginning of August this is when you're supposed to be doing the evaders that you get crude you have to do two before on ello it just completely bums it out and especially when I was a kid and I went to summer camps I was a terrible camper yeah Canberra is made for those people who the Spartans would leave on top of mountaintops to die of exposure if they couldn't maintain enough you know swimming baseball all the different kind of sports things as a there was this standard not all skills were admired in in the camp setting I myself did not happen to be particularly sports oriented in fact they made a special position for me called deep centerfield and by the time I walked out to the position oftenly and it was over and I would walk back you know they would let me know when the inning was over with semaphore flags in irenan and for me it was fine I would go out there and I'd read a book you know that was one time somebody must have been a great hitter the ball came out to me I heard the shouting in the distance I look over and sure enough there's the bull and I picked it up with all my strength and I threw it and I walked a couple of steps and I picked it up and I threw it again and you know I kept doing this for a while eventually somebody came out and you know took the ball and told us to go to bed but hey I was not I wasn't a sports guy to this day I'm embarrassed to admit it but I never went out a swim now don't get me wrong I know how to swim I know how to go through old emotions I never figured out how to turn my head take a breath and put my head back in the border and everyone knows this is how you supposed to swim this is the crow yeah and I would go and I couldn't get any air so I just did this until I ran out of Previn that I would sink to the bottom but I could do the backstroke I can do the sidestroke but the crawl which is the the required one you know where those tough guys would go for there during your life savings certificate or their senior life savings to forget you see them as a pool you know dragging someone who couldn't swim like back to shore that was usually me I was the body but it's an amazing thing and especially you go to when I went to camp it was too much july-august you know and by the end of August it gets pretty cold up in Catskill Mountains you know so the first period a with swim instruction and you know the councils would come out wearing like you know you know sweat suits you know sometimes with a park over it you know I mean that you know ski hat yeah and they say jump in the water oh wait we're gonna get the ice bag first this was that for me I I needed a more of a cerebral experience and I just these kind of things happen and that's why when they would choose up the teams you know I I wasn't always the last one chosen because sometimes neither team would take me under any circumstances but usually there was negotiations like in monopoly will take Roloff ski but then you have to give us an amazing thing an amazing thing and so what they would do at the end of the year is they would have color war where they would take the entire camp and divide it into two groups the idea being that this way we can pit friend against friend brother against brother and see if we can do as much destructiveness in the lives of children as is possible and since the points are being given out mostly for your athletic prowess which I did not excel in we also you have to the song you know you have to practice the song most of the time they didn't care if you know how to sing you just had to be able to stand up together until the edge of your seat then you had to stand up without scraping your chair that was the major accomplishment if you could do that and you were already successful acquire you know and and it was absolutely amazing you know people people would have to get through these three day it was very difficult going yeah for someone like me quietened and and shy non-athletic cerebral young man sensitive and emotional getting beaten up constantly buying vicious people in the name of unity now the best part about color war is that first color war has to have a breakout this is this is required by law yeah you have to have a break at the breakout is designed in such a way as to as to make it as as frightening and traumatic for the children as possible the more that this will score the children for life the better it is you know so one year I don't know those they had counsel get into some kind of a fight with the cook and then he was talking and the cook ran out with a hatchet said chasing remembers it I still I still have trouble catching my breath when I remember that scene you know what kinds of terrible things anyway so I had a friend who is uh who was a real camper people who managed live for camp yeah and and I asked him what was the best color what breakout what was the worst color what breakout that he ever had because you know he he was off from one of the generals and you know and you had to have the color what breakout this is very important so here's the worst color breakout it didn't work well which is which i think is good because if it had worked properly I think people would have been prosecuted in the sent away for years here was the idea they were going to wake the children up in the middle of the night by telling them that the camp was on fire these are responsible adults running this they had actually bought smoke bombs filthy released inside of the bugs and then they would wake up the little children and scream fire so that in their pajamas they would all rush out to the to the baseball field tired and then supposedly I imagine crying and and traumatized thinking that their camping or their belongings but some of their friends-- was burning down and then the fire chief was going to land in the helicopter and they would get out and it would be the color war generals this was the plan what they did not take into account which is so often the case when people are planning fake fires those of you at home who are budding arsonist should bear this in mind they did not take into account the wind so it was windy that night and they set off the smoke bombs and all the smoke blew away so they welcome all those young they said fire fire and they said where's if I go no no there's a fire the fire and they dragged all the children to the baseball field which was covered with smoke love the smoke who some poor planning land flew and was just hovering over the baseball field such that the helicopter couldn't land so instead they drove it in a car I jumped out in screamed color war and Baruch Hashem there was no prosecution I can only imagine if they had been successful yeah so he said well is the best color what mess color war was that there was some sort of fight between the head counselor and the camp director I think and there was a whole big fight and a whole big scene that went on you know etc and sure enough that you had screamed that from color war they said wolf sparkle is whatever it was they threw out all the things ok didn't sound so impressive to me they set up the team's invited everybody up and they had a whole day of sports teams and competitions and everything counts yeah I I can't speak for campus in my camp you got points for dava ting you know so you know the council had to decide whether or not you Adam come on an extra five points for your team and I reckon everything what happens in the meals you know clean you know it's about everything everything was we step line up you have to line up and form a picture you know everything was was being gay husband into the points anyway the first night was the skit so phase Blue team White team you know whichever team it is gets up and starts their skit and the other team stands up and starts screaming you stole our skit they said no we didn't and they show their script it's kid Mott the same script there's a little bit of change came out the same script you stole her play and they said then no we did you know I answered just luck just blind luck that we both came up with the same topic in same basic outline you know it happens it's kid goes to school and the teacher says to write an essay about your pet so this kid hands in a essay about his cat so the teacher calls him over and says you know this is the same exact essay that your older brother handed in last year and the kid says it's the same cat there's just the coincidence that the two plays was it and were the other team with fuming what are you gonna do you can't get it to get the same play so they quickly put together a play about how the other team stole their script and and they were just attacking them and the other team got angry and they got up to stuff screaming at them and there was a whole fight and the director got up and did the only responsible thing this is the only part of all of these stories that actually have meaning to me he says this is this was encamped arvydas this is cam torva das this is the way we're behaving this is the sinner that's it no color waters here color Wars cancel I was like yeah but but but but that's it I never got twisted logic but the whole purpose of color is to create Octus yes in 1984 Georgia oh well refer to this as doublespeak and war is peace you know and and slavery is freedom and you know et cetera but you know it's great office he said this is terrible no more color whoa okay kids were very disappointed and that was it they went back to their bunks to fine next morning was regular day of camp yeah your activities Raven and everybody was very upset you can imagine they were upset I think they were upset on two levels I think our one sense they were upset that they missed out on color and I think at another level I don't know that the color war experience necessarily brings out the best in everybody and I think perhaps there was enough introspection on the part of the campers and the staff to say that maybe we got carried away with the thrill of wanting to win wanting to to be successful that we let it get the better of ourselves okay they had supper and the night activity was gonna be a movie I saw a movie now throughout the year they have different ratios she will come to speak and this one was sure she became to speak and they finished Meyer she was still Dobby okay that's part of the requirements of being revealed to keep going yeah and but they had to start an activity so I start setting up the movie they said there's that and the kid who's diving for the omelette is waiting that was she was still dammit avnish minus 5 10 minutes 15 minutes 20 minutes the entire camp of these kids are sitting there if it idea what that's like I went for two nights in a row here in your visual item to a fader where my two grandchildren one was getting their Commission and gave me a home party and the other one they finished veracious and they were making a seaman for a shish and it's the same thing these kids all sit on the big day is and we're dealing either with five year olds or seven year olds and they're all sitting on the dais and though the parents and grandparents in the audience and everybody needs to speak and they they need to speak this is so important to them and there's some represents with a parent speak and representative of a grandparent speak and a representative of the Vidale rim speak and then and the principal speaks its principal speak so if I care for the donors and important people in the neighborhood do you know what these little kids are doing picking up each other they're like you've examine that they're going out of their mind so they finally figured it out after all these years you know they just keep hitting the end of the kids food thank you food drags it up but gives having a party and these people were talking the kids aren't listening the parents aren't listening nobody's listening trust me I'm a speaker I do this for a living it you know and I'm thinking to myself what are these people doing don't you realize you're not talking to anybody and the answer is in the words of Dale Carnegie people are fascinated by the sound of their own voice yeah so so here you got 20 kids it's a half an hour after everybody finished might've and this was she was still dominant so they finally feel like they have no choice and they tell the boy to say Kaddish they say Kaddish they say lay no you know they finish and shortly after that twice she finishes and he is livid he's livid he says you can't wait for a Shiva comes to camp tour with us this is what it's become full of us for the mothers for the mothers for this you can't wait for our Tsushima to finish being out at night he was really getting angry and the children where I am Barristan that they you know camp director comes over and tries to calm him down and he gets upset and finally the Russia Shiva Gribbs instead straggling him so the director punches him ribs off his beard and screams color war the whole thing was phony the whole first day was all phony color war just to set everybody up for this incredible disappointment now let's learn from this the important of kind of lessons from this unbelievable color war breakout first of all we learned Cinna and we learnt the day to to to hate and take vengeance and then we learned to make fun of Russia then we don't wait for registration with the via is it the the Hennis opportunity of this story is just absolutely oh yeah yeah but you know sometimes you know we get carried away we get carried away with the the experience and what can I tell ya you know I went to camp staff Emmett for two years as a kid that was a completely different experience there you go to you go to its shell most of the time you touring and then you have some camp days but nobody took that to camp day seriously it was like you know ya yell at somebody because they didn't uh didn't go to the code of baseball yeah we we were in gosh we reach them with seond the temperature was 95 the humidity was 110 you know what are we dripping on use it was just unbelievable so and when anybody finally got around doing anything they just jumped in the pool it sat in the pool all day you know you know what you a bunkie you know you managed as best as you could yeah so so that was a different kind of experience yeah and so yeah you tried to have the trappings of a camp but you know it's not it wasn't that kind of a camp but I went for a couple years to real real sleep boy camps and what can I tell you the skills that make you successful in camp but not the skills that I've been able to now be fair we always did a production we put out a play yeah I didn't go to the firmest camps so uh you know we did Broadway plays I was Fagin and Oliver typecasting I I had the lights of different roles and things like that that I was I was it would be good at but all the sports things and the the intensity of it so everything's changed now it's people go for a few weeks here a few weeks there now it's this the first session the second session the third session I don't know what kind of different things the the nature of the experience has changed when I went obviously you had these old mattresses that had been left over from like the pioneers when they first went up into the mountains in the 1700s you know had these these cabins used to leak a little bit when it rained that much but a little bit you know I have never since play draftable it was one of the great things that we used to do used to take the take a softball and throw it in the air and it had to bounce on the rafter and how many times it bounced that's when he got a double or triple that was great when it was raining you know and people used to keep their drinks in the toilet tank and I'd keep it cool you know and you're not allowed to bring any food or drink to camp everyone knows this nobody keeps it the first time my father sort of the rule so he is the director is it okay you know if I brought my kids some sodas and he goes oh no they can't having time to keep in the office and so if you wanted you know we wanted a soda me and my brothers you know we had to go to the director he had the signify like one or two you know he'd call you into his office that he shut the door he'd lower the blinds and he'd open his bottom drawer and take out one or two sodas put in a brown paper bag everything you say if anyone asks say you're throwing out garbage for me today forget about it food packages trunks galore food that's besides the canteen besides everything goes on you know but when I was there you know it was uh it was you know a little bit now people tell me you have bunks they're much fancier in their air-conditioned and then what kinds of amazing things Hashem it's a really roughing it now I have no problem with this you know my idea of roughing it is sleeping with only two pillows you know so the idea of going off into a bunk with you know living and living in a cabin with wildlife like why would I do this [Laughter] yep I have to arraign seal the salamanders running around I was very exciting you and so so okay so this was all part of the camp experience so fun what summer is and there's something about summer that's just it's just off just off it's supposed to be off this ban is minam I always felt this different because you know I'll tell you what makes this band is vinyl dramatically different you know the famous monument Tishrei and Ben is vitamin-e son they don't say tockman this band is why don't we do say attachment subpoenas run of attachment it's a slightly different thing and I heard from every left once fascinating insight we have the three weeks from the 17th of time was to tissue buff and for three weeks we're spinning lower and lower and lower and lower until we hit rock bottom and then from tissue buff to rush kodesh ello we have another three weeks three weeks to sit on the floor and feel sorry for yourself okay I fall onto the ground that I can't get up it's a netbook it's too bad that's really what this banners bottom is the summertime is the Maharaj's that are you mejor Ben come out either in the summertime or in the wintertime because it's too much the days are too long it's too hot or in survey today's the days are too short it's too cold but during the summertime everything is too much it's excess the cuisine of choice is a barbecue what is a barbecue how do you know what to eat at a barbecue they put out Franks and they put out hamburgers and they put out steaks and they put out chicken chicken cutlets and they put out wings and then then they've been there they put out the potatoes and the potato chips and then sort of if you look in these these magazines you know they have an issue if the issue was the barbecue what you can barbecue how you barbecue it this sauce that's what's enough does anybody eat what they need and a bomb Kim is there a USDA recommended amount of barbecue no everybody eats until they're sick until by the evening they're just sweating fat fat no yeah well too much it's too much people stay up all night they don't go to sleep there's no bedtimes enough everything is too many things to excess it's not good for you our young Tommy since tomorrow comes out the equinox the Sun until a half day half night not too hot not too cold a balance the summer is extreme it's just too much so I hope you're enjoying your vacation I hope you're enjoying your barbecues so hope you're enjoying your vacations and all the wonderful things that go with it and I'm in session next week which Photoshop mid-session next week is gonna be Rochelle Oh we'll talk about how to we had three weeks going down three weeks sitting on the floor Zelo and mzee and then there's three weeks from Russia Shana till she had saris yeah actually I was an Arab another 21 days the contrast that and bring us back when we go down when we sit there and when we go back up these three week periods so Amir it's a sham we'll get through this summer time hopefully relatively unscathed yeah I have to get ready because you know I have to start eating healthy that's what the young talked before we know that through Rosh Hashanah and and Sookie I said what make sure it needs only the healthiest foods you know whole grains and salads and all those good things and and then it's a sham well well we're entitled went I would have a little time to feel sorry for ourselves that's what the summer really is we feel sorry for ourselves I'm sitting on the ground we fell down then comes a time when you gotta brush yourself off and start all over again that's it blow the chauffeur wake up wake up wake up you sleepyheads get up get up get out of bed time to start again time to rebuild time to renew but right now enjoy your barbecues enjoy a nice quiet days and your trips and your late nights and then Madame red sash ever since this year everything lines up September first and LM Amish just the way it should be for my friends who are listening down in Australia and South Africa I have no idea what to tell you but but Hashem i thinkwe knocked that mare - yeah for my friends who are on Mars and Venus I don't know what to tell you very hard they once had a Jewish astronaut it went into space but they were considering a from guy and he looked into it and he says I can't do it I can't go into a spaceship this is why he goes because every 25 second shot was Menachem IRA chakras benefi Myra chakras I believe you anyway okay more jokes from outer space but in any event that's it for this week and I'm going to find out more about the show please go to my website where we allow c-calm well you can make comments and I can't I tend to answer them sometimes it takes me a while I can't answer that I answered somebody an email not that long ago and the person was surprised because he sent it to me about seven years ago but I got to it you know just yeah sometimes it takes me a while yeah you can find my upcoming event schedule you could contact me directly and you can sponsor an episode rubbery Olaf skis.com slash podcast click on the sponsor an episode button that's it I'm Deborah Orlowski and this is the raviolo ski show [Music]