49 Days of Pesach (Ep. 228)

hi this is De olowski and welcome to the Ravi olowski show whether you watch with our friends over at to Any Time wherever you watch or listen to your podcast as always it's nice to have you along for the experience and we have a sponsor for this week's episode and this episode is sponsored thank you for enhancing our shabas preparations and our Mal Mala with your div Torah and divik Yehuda and KH Kravitz thank you for making it possible for many other people to uh for us to get together and and share you know when I when I speak I very often speak to myself I remember hearing a story about this Mash who had a special shender he would use when he'd give him mm and uh he kept it locked up in his uh in his office and he would take it out that's the only one he would use when he gave mus moves and then he would put it back in and lock it up so after he was nifter they opened up the closet and they saw that on the top of the shender was a mirror because ultimately when you when you give muser it's only effective you give it to yourself people who say you need to change and you people and you and you and you is nowhere as effective as when you say we and uh when we do it together yeah it becomes that much more effective um I have a box of Records LPS for those of you who uh appreciate the reference before there was downloads there was CDs before there was CDs there were cassettes before there were cassettes there were records these little vinyl discs that had the music on it and you would play it and I haven't brought myself to get rid of them nor can I find a record player but uh one of them was the comedy album put out by Don knots I have an Eclectic collection as you might imagine and uh it's some of his routines he was a comedian before he became well known for his role on The Andy Griffith Show as uh as Barney the uh the sheriff uh deputy and um he did a number of films and things I think he ended up on some sitcoms but uh these were just his comedy routines anyway he's a politician who's waiting as the results are coming in and with each report the his his lead is getting lower and lower until it's very close and he says okay this is the final result you know remember we did this together we did this all right we made this Victory take place I lost you did this this is your fault what were you thinking so um uh you know when when it comes to take you know that there's an expression that um success has many fathers but failure is an Oran and uh I uh I was in running a organization and some of my higher ups would take credit for things that I did without giving me credit for it and some people inside of the organization were worried for me and they said listen this guy is taking your accomplishments and touting them as his own I said good because then I become more invaluable to him and it's in his best interest to make sure that I'm successful the more people who are basing themselves on My Success so uh uh but uh when things go wrong you know then no nobody is responsible nobody wants to hear about it so um so that's why when um when uh you talk about giving mus you could look at it as you or you could look at it as us when it's us it's always that much more effective so theic and the ideas that I share are just as much for me as for anybody else um somebody said to me once why do you laugh at your own jokes and I said because I enjoy them as much much or more than you do I crack myself up constantly I'm I I'm I'm always making myself laugh you know with funny observations and stuff and uh some of my kids have picked it up it's not it's not a great me I should point out but uh I look at people and I think what's their story how how did they become that way where where did they come from what what's their deal you know so some some of my children have this have this sort of um you know strange sense of humor you know and they'll be with me and they'll say wh what what do you think how what was he thinking when he got dressed this morning you know did he not realize that bright orange is not like the best color for him you know or doesn't that lady realize that when you're blind you shouldn't wear everything in yellow like it just you know you come out like looking like butter I don't know listen I'm not here to uh to criticize anybody I just you look and You observe and that's what that's the the whole area known as observational comedy but it's based on looking at what you know you see and seeing the humor in it and allowing yourself to to uh step into it and you say what happened over here what was the story that was one of my uh favorite things when I was a kid they would show you a picture and they would ask a bunch of questions why' the person do this why do you think the person this it's all speculation on your part you know I graduated high school after 11th grade and so I had uh to make up one English credit so I went to summer school in public school as you can imagine this is not like the best and the brightest who are being assembled there and it was six weeks so I took two 3 we courses and one six-week course the six week course was drama and uh the only character most of these guys were able to play would have been Stanley Kowski in the street card Named Desire they were not like versatile actors so um I remember we performed thoron Wilder's our town and I had of course the largest role which was the uh um which was the narrator and um and uh you know other people they would take their little book up and read it you know I am amazed at how things got I of course went home and memorized my entire part and came in [Laughter] costume that was way Beyond but um but one of the courses I think it was called cities if I recall correctly anyway there was a book of pictures and the question was take out three pictures from the book and based on these pictures of cities uh write an essay on what you as an alien looking at these three pictures conclude a city is so there was a picture of uh a toddler in one of those swings that you know with the chains and the and the thing to hold them in and somebody uh doing that there were three uh there were two people two people taking playing chess behind this um iron fence you know those spiked iron fences like they have sometimes uh uh metal work I forgot what the third one was oh a kids playing uh ball in a in a ground you know with the chain link fence around it and I said based on these pictures clearly a city is a prison and I did a whole analysis of the pictures why that should be anyway there was one other kid there a Jewish kid who was also was had a IQ higher than a neanderthal and he said you took those three pictures out of context you uh this that it's not a fair description you you know you chose the I said the assignment was to choose CH three pictures and based upon this come to a conclusion yeah so uh he says yeah but that was selective this that and I defended myself and the teacher who of course thought I was brilliant um I can't say I disagreed he says why are you defending yourself against him you wrote a brilliant essay and I said why am I defending myself against you I wrote a brilliant ESS I was only 16 but I already had the makings of what R olowski would eventually turn into yeah nature versus nurture yeah they both were there but anyway um uh so you look at something and you you see it I I I've mentioned this before one of the finest compliments I ever got was from a fellow who was a barrister in England it's a high level attorney and he gave it up to become a Storyteller a questionable career move and he would go around to fairs and and and uh parks and things and he would tell stories and uh pass around the hat and collected that that he was doing this just to find meaning eventually he came to Israel he became firm and he used to come to my sh so I it's always fun when someone who has dedicated his life to doing something like this I mentioned in in the last podcast M schm came to listen to me you know here's a fellow who has to write comedy columns for a uh living you're coming to listen to me and and I'll see what I'm doing so uh it's a lot of fun but anyway so he said he he went through my share he says what you do is hold up a funhouse mirror to life you see yourself but you're so distorted that you have to laugh that's the idea that's that's if you if you can look at life and see those little twists and observations anyway so this is a very long introduction uh to the fact that yeah I also get from this podcast and uh since I lost all my jobs to my wit and personality this is basically all I do you know I just for an hour a week I sit here and I talk now the truth is I do this all week I just sit here in this chair in front of this bookcase and I just keep talking it's just they film it for an hour a week but I could probably put out like a hundred of these in the course of a week just me just sitting and talking somebody said to me oh there's a guy in tney time you know he has hundreds and hundreds of recordings I said yeah he just keeps the recording going you know here's dinner with Rabbi so and so here he is driving in the car you know I one time I I recorded a year and I forgot to turn it off you know and the second half of the year is me driving home talking to my kids you know um and it's probably should not get out there because it was one of those what did you think about this Guy where did you see this over here what was he thinking all right so if you were with us last time then you know that we're in a series to through pesak we're in the tour says there is an ad bash where you can show that the day of the week that Al if uh of pesak the first day of PES comes out will be the same as tough which is Tish Tish will come out the same night so if um the uh the sedan night this year is coming out Monday night that means Tish will be Monday night and the bay is the shin so if the second day of pesak begins on a Tuesday night then the shin which is sh will begin on a Tuesday night this year that for you in America where and karts in general will be difficult I sometimes forget my English Australian um and uh South African listeners take them into account uh and of course since this is on Tor time those in mosambik I have to always mention them uh to uh to follow along but if you're outside of erel that means your shu is going to be Wednesday and Thursday and then you have an AR shabas and a shabas so uh we here have only one day so it'll be Tuesday night Wednesday and then we have two days to get ready for shabas a little easier but anyway um so I offered a supposition last week and the supposition that I offered was that it's not merely a neonic device but there must be some relationship between the first day of pesak and Tish that's what we talked about last time if I'm right like I say I just made this up then the second day of Pak should correspond to sh there should be something inherent in the second day so let's see if that's true what is the second day of pesak so you know in the good old days when there was a bikash and men were men and women were women Hanahan yeah and uh things were as they were supposed to be what was the second day of of pesak second day of pesak they would offer the Corbin they would go and cut the barley barley was the first crop that uh that ripened and it was still uh didn't have a chance to dry out grain needs a t chance to dry out that's why uh the weed Harvest um begins on sh that's why we bring the stay from the wheat on sh but um the the wheed harvest begins on shuis and after they uh Harvest and thresh uh and winow uh um they leave the grain out in the field all summer to dry because otherwise it will rot and it needs to dry now obviously if you don't live in a place where the climat like errell where it's dry in the summer it proves more problematic and that's why uh if it rains you have to make sure and cut over the grain or it will get wet and get ruined uh that is the dramatic scene and far from the maddening Crowd by Hardy where um uh the guy who uh is the is her true love right but not the one that she marries because everybody in Hardy novels are unhappy so um uh it's about to R be a thunderstorm and she you know her new husband had just made a big party and all the workers were drunk and he was the only one who is still sober and he sees the storm coming and he goes out by himself to try to thatch over all of the grain so it doesn't get ruined to cover it over and she comes out and the two of them are standing there with the lightning beginning understanding that they're a very good Mark for the lightning to get killed and they're just trying to cover it all over um before the before the rain uh comes and ruins the grain uh similarly as everyone knows uh the um uh Salem witch hunts where they believed that they were witches uh I read an article many years ago where someone suggests that they didn't store the grain properly and as such um they the the grain got this sort of bacteria that was a hallucinogenic and that's what caused them when they ate you know the bread that they made from this wheat and which had these drugs in them uh they thought they saw witches and people flying and it really wasn't true okay so uh so you have to store it so the The Barley ripens first but it's still not dried out so they would uh have to roast it a special CLE where they would roast it and then grind it and because barley flour is not considered the the good bread it's considered low-level bread barley was basically seen as animal fod um anyone who's ever watched people eat chalant you understand what I'm talking about but uh so they would sift it 7 times and they would get the the pures barley wheat and they would make the the OM offering and they would bring it in the Bas mikash and this allowed the rest of the Jewish people to um now eat from the new crop until then it's us to eat from the new crop because it's uh kadash after that it's now the kades becomes permissible you can eat from the new crop until the new Harvest comes onto the market these are the people who today are careful not to eat yashan this is the uh this is the isisa that they're dealing with I say is the holds only and there is a heter that he uses to be able to eat uh Kash and there are people who are more mocked on it today there was a time when you didn't have to worry about this and that's because FDR brought up the weed Harvest for many years we had seven years of uh of harvest so no one ever ate from the new wheat that's why no one ever heard of yashan and then Richard Nixon in the early 70s there was a famine in Russia and he sold the entire wheat Surplus and after that uh the problem came in of kades being on the market that's why people say when I was growing up I never heard about yashan yeah because you never had any Kash now it's a new situation so the lore doesn't change the situation changes and when the road curves curves worth it or you fall off the cliff anyway but uh that's what the second day of of shuis is is that they bring the um the new uh the New Om and then the Torah says after you bring the OM count 49 Days Seven Days seven times times until you come to the 50th day it does not call it it just calls it Y and very interesting par yeah you can find sh mentioned in other places because there are different paros with the uh where the shal regol are mentioned the three pilgrimage holidays PES and suus but uh no placees are called and uh it's called it's called um it's [Music] called and uh in which the ram calls par that's the complete Mo it's called here's how the Torah presents it you'll bring the Omar offering made out of barley on the second day of pesak then you'll count 49 days and on the 50th day you'll bring a weed offering that's the the only public offering that is comets there's another one and that is when you bring a corbon TOA there are 40 loaves of bread and 10 of the loaves of bread or ketz but other than that there's no ketz the the Bas M was was pesad except for these two loaves of bread that were kets that were brought on shes so this much is clear on the second day of shuis we start counting to sh so it makes sense that the Bay of PES corresponds to shuis because the whole day is the beginning of the count to shuis that's the that's the preparation immediately after P the next day you start counting to shs what's the concept of SP what's the concept of this counting to be able to get there and why is the Torah presented in the terms of the second day of pesak when you bring your Bley offering and on the 50th day after that when you bring your weed offering now I should point out uh because of this sh is the only yti that does not have a date in the Torah on P says you on the 14th of Nissan and you'll eat it on the 15th of Nissan and that's P gives you the date yeah on the 15th of Tira yra on the 10th of the month rashash on the 1 of the month yeah the Torah gives names the only one that doesn't have a date is shuis it's the 50th day and therefore today our calendar is set and so it comes out on V right because um we uh make Nissan um 30 days and we make er 29 days but when they used to rely on uh aidm to determine it could be both of those months with 29 days could be both of them with 30 days which means that Shu could have come out on the fifth sixth or seventh of Sian we have it set the calendar but it doesn't have a date it's only defined as the 50th day and the day when you um when you bring the wheat offering so let's understand what that means what it means is as R Kish from Waterberry always tells his boys respect the process there's a process that you have to go through in order to become the people you're going to become I remember uh I spoke in uh one of the schools I spoke in was a uh school for you know guys who have issues yeah issues with with they're from kite and they're struggling you know and uh I pointed out you're the ones who are in yiva your friends are not so you are the ones who are the committed ones you know anyway I spoke was so interesting they said to me they'll listen maybe 10 15 minutes and don't be upset if they if they talk or they play on their phones or whatever it is you know I mean because you know they're not used to sitting through speeches I spoke for a half an hour and nobody said a word they all listened closely and were deeply moved in fact when I had to get to my next speech I didn't take into account hugging time because these guys wanted to give me a hug afterwards because you know apparently they liked what I had to say but um but one guy said I'm I'm going to start a a movement here in the Yeshiva on the Dera and I said you're all on the D everybody's on the DK some people get to travel on a super highway and some people have to take a dirt road but everybody here is on a d everybody's Road may be different but you're never off not such thing as off the D not until you're dead as long as you're alive you're on a DK you'll see where it takes you but uh everybody has their own Journey so you try to check your and you don't know what it means well I get to sit on velvet and dine on fine cuisine or is my lot to sit on a hard wooden bench uh W wooden seat with just a dry crust of bread to eat some one those lines AB rottenberg's everyone rides the train everyone gets on the train some people are in first class some people are not so uh so everybody's on the road some people have a an easier Road some people have a harder road but everyone has a road anyway so respect the process we came MIT and we were on the 49th level of Tuma and in order to get to Har and receive the Torah we had to move up 49 levels that was our journey it took us seven weeks to get there because every day we had to work on a different maida and a different aspect of our Aus Hashem that we needed to perfect that's where we were going that's what we would we had to accomplish so when a person uh says I remember this inos told M right away I'm taking them out of MIT to bring them to this mountain and give them the Torah so getting the Torah was part and parcel of um of and it's one of the four Lonas of G yeah I'm going to make you my people that's the fourth step and so uh har was an integral part that the ran says that the whole period is basically like a big from the second day of PES once we get out of M we start the preparation we go Adam MIM and we're going to come to Har and get the Torah yeah on the 50th day this world is obviously indicated by the number seven yeah there's six days and chabas which is the seventh day that fills that box that we call the universe that fills it up that's always what seven is yeah you work for six years and on the seventh year you'll eat what you've worked with six days a week you work ear shabas you enjoy that's seven so we go through seven sevens that's all we can do positively and negatively we only fell to the 49th level of of T because that's it that's as much as we can do fall all the way down let us go so then there's nothing left but we can do a tremendous amount of damage and we have to repair that but that 50th level we have to get from that's yeah M if I worked very hard and I received the mat what do you mean receive the Matana I earned it no at the end of the day is a gift you can't do this on your own this is similar to what the describes in peric at the end with kadha says part of kadha is what you do and the rest is g a gift fromes so the 50th is outside of this world and that's why you count seven years seven times until you come to the yil and the yil is out of this world all the slaves Go free all the land goes back everything is done and uh says the AL we don't start counting people to the age of 20 right and then uh it says the it says to Hill him the average life of a person is years which means your life is a yil and if you work those 49 years and you come to the 50th year you move into a different world you move to a different place and that's what uh that's the average lifespan if you're 80 I remember when I turned 60 somebody said to me well 60 is not old I said I have m p disagrees with you says you very old you must be really strong because we're surprised you're still here you're bent over and broken at 100 as far as we're concerned you're already dead I don't know what you're still doing here so that's it um going by the normal functioning I am halfway through the last decade of my life after that you go into overtime yeah so um that's what I always think is we're really surprised you're still here so uh George Burns died just shy of his H 100th birthday he was going to he had booked a big show on his H 100th birthday and he said I already have my opening line ladies and gentlemen it's a pleasure to be here at my age it's a pleasure to be [Laughter] anywhere uh you know you already B you don't count any more to 100 you know so uh of course by good they they play by different rules right maybea made it to 120 mosha made it to 120 you know 120 is a is a is a different kind of a you know beyond a 100 I always thought that maybe you start counting at 20 and and you get two yil that's what 120 is but uh keski just had a baby boy just had a bris at the age of 88 he'll be 101 at the B [Music] so uh someone said do you think he's going to make it to the bar mitzvah he said if you can have a baby at 88 you can have a bar mitzvah at 101 it's this the same exact [Laughter] equation so uh anyway so the idea is that you reach the 50th day that's outside of this world so you understand what we're doing we came out of Egypt and we had to work we had to do 49 days to get there that's what s is and that's why the beginning of is Nissan and the end of isan there's only one month that is completely spher arm that's ER and as the points out Nissan is um clle it's the sheep and Sian is Gemini yeah the uh the Twins and ER is Taurus the Bull or as we say the shore the ox he says why says when we came out of M we were like a sheep we didn't deserve to be freed the yamu says why should I save these people the Jews didn't really deserve to be we had to give them a Mitzvah gave him gave him a reason to be taken out but we were we didn't deserve it means that us and who got married uh at har the two of us came together as adults how do you get there through the shore you have to work like an ox and that's what is is the process of working in order to be able to accomplish that we can stand at the is out of this world that I can't be responsible for and the way we do this is by starting with the barley offering and ending with the wheat offering barley is animal food and we come out on the lowest level like an animal and we have to spend seven weeks to turn ourselves into a mench and that's why the is the and that's why the balus say that the the 48 things you need to be ConEd Torah is what we're supposed to be working on on these 49 days 48 49 that's because the last day you now have toaz them all over and bring them all together and make them one yeah but every day we're working on one of these mos in order to be able to make ourselves into the people who are going to be Ro to M Hashem couldn't give us a t there was no people to give it to we had to take ourselves and turn ourselves into people into men so the second day of p is the beginning of the process that concludes with That's The Bash that's the B Shin that's why sh comes out on the same day of the week as the second day of P because that's when we begin the process of preparing fish for okay and next time we'll do R and uh now uh let's uh talk about uh the question and answer the question question answers by Yakov morai susman do you actually not use a green screen if so can you take a safer out of the shelves during the show please sure I can oh look which is of course written by my good friend Rabbi Foya Foya is fire H get it yeah here's my by the day which is so ripped up I had to tape it back together this is my rishonim shelves and these are my fancy mishas and more ronm this was the first shot I got bought it for $35 in 1974 from Z Burman whale encouraged us to buy sparm and I bought out and bought a shot it has been through the mail this is the little shot that I bought because uh D Kaplan used to keep it in a box on his desk and when somebody asked him a question he would lift it up and say I've got shot on my fingertips I can't actually use this because I can't see it even with my glasses this is my sh that my father-in-law got me and so yeah it's all real it's all real just like my muscles that I think more work went into lifting the spum than my muscles but okay um next question okay we took a number of questions and put them all together because they're basically the same question in different forms uh reminds me that barowitz uh when he was helping me in ncsy in Long Island so one Sunday morning he did a question and answer for the kids and everybody said Ed questions and he took all theim and he says okay I'm going to divide this into two piles those that are asking about ngia and everything else ngia P was larger he says okay I'll deal with these first and then we'll deal with this so these are all basically the same question it's not about ngia Yeah by Anonymous how does one learn self-control how can someone break the maida of overeating what's the best way to control a TAA in general these are three separate questions but uh you know it's the same site the first thing that I think is so incredibly important is that you have have to want to everyone knows this someone who has an eating problem yeah and doesn't want to seriously change it they will not be successful they just won't and that's true about every Ty if a person just doesn't care they may pay the lip service of saying they care they might even feel guilty afterwards but they're not prepared to actually change themselves as the old uh joke goes how many psychologist does it take to change a light bulb one but only if the light bulb wants to change it's uh uh I I have a friend Ivan Lerner who's a psychiatrist it's just a social relationship but um he said to me that you know people come uh to me for help and after a couple of sessions I see they're not serious and uh and I say listen I'm I'm not going to see you anymore the person says why I'm paying he says you could decide at some point that I'm not helping you and end this relationship I can do the same thing I would rather help people who really want to help themselves you're not serious you think you are you only to go through the motions but you're not really ready to change and that's why um I knew a young lady and uh she started dating in sh for when she was 18 she 18 and when she turned 40 she says now I think I'm really ready to get married I mean she was dating but she wasn't really into it she say now I think I'm really ready that year she got engaged so um uh a person has to first of all really really really really want to change because change is very hard and if you don't really really really really really want to do it you're just wasting your time don't even try just don't even try because who am I kidding you know uh I remember seeing an email once that said I miss going to the gym today that makes four years okay so you're clearly not really serious about it you know um uh Michael Freeman who used to run the um harof men's gym he says every now and then you'd see a guy come into the gym and I could tell right away whether they're going to be successful or not because they're not serious and they may even come in and look like a gym rat you know they got all the the outfits and the the things and they work really hard and da d d you know and um and he says I know they're not going to last there it's a faas phase he says oh I see people come in and they're on the machines you know flipping along a little bit they're not really pushing themselves they're not going to succeed and sure enough they give up because they're not getting anywhere you know it's the same thing with dieting there are people who diet and then any reason is a reason to go of their diet well as one person said to me I'm not opposed to eating healthy food as long as I can uh have you know my other food as [Laughter] well so first you have to really really want it you have to be honest because change is very hard and if not don't you're just going to reinforce in yourself the fact that I can't change now I had AAS with Michael because Michael said you have to have a positive attit atude and I have a negative attitude a terribly negative attitude about most things but certainly about exercising I hate exercising I hate the exercise clothing I hate going to the gym I hate sweating I hate working out I hate every aspect of it I don't mind when I was developing muscles in fact at one point I said to him I said my my my shirt is tight on me and he says yeah because you've developed back and chest muscles which you never hand had and so you're filling up your shirt usually you only fill up the belly part now you're filling up the top part I thought oh my gosh what a frightening concept so uh so I said you know my goal you know says your goal should be to get yourself into shape and to be healthy I said my goal is to look like Captain America I don't have to look like Thor that's already you know beyond the pale but I'd be happy with Captain America just don't want to look like Ant-Man you know but um uh the uh uh uh so I so he used to say to me no no really you enjoy it I said I hate it I hate everything about it I'm doing it because intellectually I know I need to but not because I want to he says no no no you know and Rabbi Dr D gotle or he was on the treadmill he was a professional runner at one point apparently cuz he's just running on that tread you know now he's a philosopher you understand you know he's got his degree in philosophy you know so he says look Rabbi G enjoys it right and never got le as he's running not not out of breath at all he able to hold the conversation he goes if they came out with a pill tomorrow that would guarantee perfect health without me advertising without my exercising I would stop it immediately I said one for me you don't have to be happy about it to enjoy it but you have to be dedicated have to be serious you know when I first started losing weight you know someone came over to me said what's the secret you know and I said um I had diabetes and uh I got diagnosed with diabetes I said you have to really believe you're going to die and if you really believe you're going to die then it's not it's not cosmetic and it's not because you're tired of buying your clothes from the big man's shop or if you're in worse shape you know ammed the Tent Maker you know what I mean like you know it's not because of that uh I've continued to lose weight barem yeah and uh and it gets me crazy when 7 wow you're really skinny or you're really thin I said no I was morbidly obese and then I moved down to obese and now I'm just fat I said you know if you can't tell the difference between me you know and stand Laurel I said who is who is skinny then you you really need to to get your eyes examined you know what I mean no I'm less fat than I was but I'm nowhere thin you know maybe maybe one day I'll get there but uh but after uh you know after my heart attack I was being more careful what I ate and I was uh exercising more you know but I was I had a strong determination I didn't want to die you know so this person said to me what's the secret I said you have to really believe you're GNA die go what do you mean I said I had a heart attack and a bass I have this I have diabetes go oh okay you're right then that doesn't apply to me I'm just doing it for cosmetic reasons you know so okay so if you're a dilatant when it comes to trying to change something you know or there are people do certain AAS and they say yeah yeah I really want to stop but they don't really want to stop um I was at an Israel night and every Yeshiva was presenting you know about their school I remember the person who was representing the Von at the time says you know all these yeshivas are for guys who want to learn aiva is for the guy who wants to want to learn he doesn't want to learn but he wants to want want to learn so there are a lot of people who say I want to change a Mida I want to change a TAA I want to this they don't really want to they're enjoying it too much but they want to want to that's the first step first step is you have to reach the point where you are committed and that's why there are people who have to mamish hit whatever their Rock Bottom is until they're ready to do something about it like the scene with Jean valan after the bishop shows him his kindness and he's on the road and he's sitting there and this little kid is flipping a coin and it falls and Jean vhan puts his foot on it the kid says hey mister give me my coin and he says beat it and he says come on Mister give me my coin he goes beat it and the kid runs off crying and he looks at him and he says I've become so so miserable hence the name La miserab yeah I became miserable the miserable and he DET determines based on that event to change his whole life around and he does so you have to reach a point in your life where you have an epiphany and you say I'm serious about it this time my father over Shalom who hasn't happened at the end um when he passed away so his oncologist came to pay a Shiva call and someone said would you say it was from the smoking said well he had lung cancer heart disease and empyema I'm going to have to say yes on that but he really wanted to quit but he couldn't just couldn't and he said once it's easy to quit smoking I've done it hundreds of times the same thing there are people who have tried to lose weight but they're not they're not you know that determined now I'm I'm going to cut everybody who's overweight some slack because your body has a certain set weight that it has you have to figure out some way to change your settings in your body and that's why over 90% of people who lose weight gain it back with interest why because your body thinks that you've just gone through a period of famine that's why there was no food food and it just keeps releasing hormones that tell you you are starving so it's not that people who are fat don't have willpower it's that the people who manage to keep off the weight have super willpower but um um you uh you have to you know really work very hard to um uh to to overcome that that's why most people lose weight and then gain it back with interest whereas if they never dieted they never would so uh what what method are is is effective and unfortunately the only proven methods I found because I've never met anyone who can stay on a diet for extended period of times and be successful there is maybe 10% 90% of the people can't there's only two things that um have proven successful that I have seen one is the gastric bypass operation which um I am loath to recommend I know a number of people who have done it and they lost the weight and kept it off I know other people who have done it and became very sick I know other people who have done it and gained the weight back even though you left with a tiny little stomach but you know if you work hard you know you work hard you can accomplish almost anything you know you got to really put in the effort um so uh so that's one the other one that seems to become very popular today is taking OIC now I pointed out that I've lost the Lost I've been losing weight but I get o because I'm a diabetic and at some point people figured out that it also helps you lose weight and more and more people are coming forward that they're taking this or similar medication that help them to lose weight and uh being overweight is unhealthy and so if you take this now I cannot testify to the side effects but uh but if you're going to lose through one of the darting methods you need an iron will having said that there are certain things that you can do to help it I.E don't hang around the kitchen don't keep drunk food in the house if you only buy healthy food and and uh you know and you're careful to avoid um uh carbs and um and high-fat food then if if you do binge it'll be on grilled chicken cutlets Mama you'll be okay keep a lot of vegetables um there's a very difficult diet that is definitely successful I was on it for a few months I went off of it because we fat people always find an excuse to go off it so I went off of it for Rashana and then I never got back on uh it's the do Ferman diet wherein you eat fruits vegetables nuts seeds and legums that's it no meat no chicken no Dairy no cheese no milk you know understand uh no fish [Music] um no oil nothing that makes your life happy so what do you have you have salads and you have stir fries and you have vegetable stews and you have soups which is basically just salad with water or more water or more water just how much water you add to your salad if you add a lot of the soup if you add a little bit of the stew you don't hear Too Much yeah and he points out that one of the reasons people are overweight is because they're starving because they eat foods that do not give them the essential nutrients that they need so their body is literally starving and uh the micronutrients that come in a lot of these vegetables particularly cruciferous vegetables you know um are essential for your body and therefore you need to to eat them so I would say even if you introduced uh three salads a day and the healthier vegetables into your diet and you eat the other karay that you're eating at least that'll get you the nutrients you need and you won't be starving he says people have toxic hunger on your diet on this diet you won't have toxic hunger and it's true I was sick for a week but he says that's what happens because your body is cleansing and um and then you uh um and then you will never feel toxic hunger like you're starving you'll be hungry but and I experienced that for two months it was amazing it's a lot of work good vegetables take a lot of preparation and all these things but uh you know by other tyers it's the same thing you need the motivation and then you have to say to yourself if I'm going to have an internet or a television or go to movies or read certain periodicals and you say gee why am I having trouble with Shir well there's your answer you need to Free Your Atmosphere from these things you uh the gamar says someone who goes to the shook where there are women even if they don't look at the women they called it Russia cuz why you putting yourself in that kind of a situation yeah the famous story with the Le Yoho where uh he says uh his boy had to go and get something in town he says but aren't you worried there were women there he says I won't look he says how do you know you won't look goes I trust myself he says you trust yourself I'm 80 years old and blind in one eye and I don't trust myself and you're a young man with two good eyes and you trust yourself so it means don't put yourself in situations where you're going to be exposed to situations like that or like I say a person who has a trouble with cheeseburgers should not be sitting in McDonald's even to use the uh the Wi-Fi you understand don't put yourself in situations so in all of these issues when it comes to controlling tyers it comes down to the same you which is you have to really really want to and then you have to break it down into um uh a method that I can use that'll be effective and the third thing is you have to cut yourself some slack no nothing goes like this the stock market doesn't go up like this nothing goes up like this there ups and downs the the the sad falls seven times you yeah the trick is to keep getting back up and if when you mess up you uh give up yeah that's why set reasonable goals and accept that you're going to fall and that's where comes so in handy write down every time I was successful every time I was not successful and count how many times I was successful at this overcoming this TAA overcoming this this problem and how many times did I fail and that's true about everything you know we go back to the mush of the food so write down everything you eat during the day everything because people are not conscious people say me I didn't eat anything today it's almost never true but that's what they believe they really believe it so uh so these are a few helpful advice and tips that hopefully will help you with your Tyas and that's it for this week uh if you want to find out more about the show you can go to my website rev ali.com you can uh leave a comment ask a question you uh can join one of my online shurm uh you can uh read one of my articles and uh that's it for now you could sponsor an episode we could always use sponsorships yeah uh and that's it for now until next time I am de olowski and this has been the RAB olowski show it's the rabbi orlovski show Toren s ready to go the Ravi orovi show knowledge and wisdom will help you grow lots of fun in every episode and we don't have to rhide no we don't it's it's the rabbi orlovski show on Rabbi ori. comom Tor anytime you two and more it's Rabbi orlovski show Torah and S ready to go the rabbi orlovski show till next time so we meet again the rabbi orlovski show it's the rabbi Orlowski show it's the rabbi Orlowski show