21: An Odder Adar

Hi, this is Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky and this is the Rabbi Orlofsky show Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you and Wherever you're watching your podcast and I have to give a special shout out to my friends at TorahAnytime.com Who do a fabulous job of spreading Torah throughout the world when I was at the Keiravtuni Convention they were there, in force and I got to meet the people who run it and the people in charge and This is I may have mentioned this the last time I don't remember if I did or not But there are 600 rabbis waiting for the chance to get on to TorahAnytime 600 rabbis who would love to be able to be on TorahAnytime and They just can't they don't have enough cameras they don't have enough hours in the day to be able to put them all up There's a waiting list but there are The top 10 of Rabbis who are watched. I don't want to mention any names out of my tremendous anavah However, I do know that TorahAnytime follows me around with cameras and And evidently my stats have been moving up since I started this podcast in fact, somebody once wrote me and said You don't want to call this a shiur. You want to call it a show. That's fine. But why are you on Torahanytime? It's called torahanytime. It's not called show anytime, so you shouldn't put it up there So I brought it up with the people in charge of torahanytime and they said it's okay So I'm covered. Yeah, but So if you're watching over there or wherever you watch or listen to your podcast it's it's great to have you along for the ride and This week is sponsored! It is an L'ili Nishmas Malka bas Shalom whose Yartziet is Chuf Alef Adar Alef, and of course, you know our podcast comes out of Motzei Shabbos. So that's gonna be this week and um, um, The you know the Neshamah should have an aliya and it's tremendous zchus, You know, for people to be able to spread this around to thousands of people you get zchus for all of this so as we keep moving up our equipment their new microphone lights, you know and eventually as I mentioned, I hope to buy myself a new house so that you know We have a bigger set and I can have more guests and things you know for you. Not for me I don't need it. You know, I'm a I'm a simple man with simple tastes, you know But but in any event I I want to point out that this Shabbos is Shabbos Mivarchim Adar Bais So it's Parshas V'Yakel its's also Parshas Shekalim its Parshas Mivarchim of Adar Bais, that it, we've made it so it's always It's always challenging on a leap year, not so much when you're my age when I was When I was younger when I was a buchar in yeshiva You had a a winter zman that's an extra Adar and it just went on forever. Yeah By the way, the reason that time goes faster when you get older is it's all perspective When you're five a year is 20% of your life when you're 50 a year is 2% of your life So in the general context of your life, it seems to be going faster But time actually travels the same exact time unless it's affected by gravity and velocity so that you know if you'd be on a gigantic planet The time would go much slower and also you'd be just killed by the gravity, but suppose you would dive in oh, yeah, but anyway, so I'm just you know, when we get into our interstellar travels, which will be doing future episodes will be from outer space Some people might maintain they already are but anyway but Adar Bais yeah is It's coming up, and it's a new Adar because there are two Adars this year There's Adar, and then there's the other Adar which is Adar still (laughing) That's a little pun that's a double pun, so you can keep up with it, as I saw somebody say once puns are the lowest form of humor by people who aren't clever enough to think them up, but So there's two Adars, now I want to speak for a minute about Mazalos, this is I'm I'm maybe hitting on some basic stuff that everybody knows but you know, we have a very wide audience audience I had an Email from a couple who became Baalei Teshuvah, you know, and they said when you discuss these family issues for us Yeah, we don't have any frum relatives. We don't have anything. It's just us Yeah, maybe you could speak about by the Baalei Teshuvah, you know and future podcast and perhaps you will because you know I am I do have a certain connection to that I really don't try to hide the fact that I did not come from a Shomer Shabbos home but there are people who mamash have very little background, you know, and and they're you know, there are people who are Not as knowledgeable or it's committed as other people. I don't know if there are any non-jews watching But you never know, something goes out there. It could go anywhere Friends at Torahanytime told me there were non-Jews who watch Watch the podcasts. Yeah When I was speaking in Australia in Sydney I spoke in the very large Jewish school Which for government reasons have to allow in non-jewish students and the Chinese who have moved to Australia want their children to get the best possible education of what could be better than a Than a Yeshivah education academically. It's very high and they were excused from the torah classes from the Jewish classes But I had a couple of kids in my why-be Jewish? Were joining in they were apparently not Jewish, but they enjoyed it very much there are times when I speak at at a hotel or at an event at a dinner and the waiters are all listening in and Enjoying it. I don't know if some of those staff is out there now watching my podcast on a regular basis or who does so it's important to You to make sure that everyone knows the basics. Yeah the Ruggid Shovah Who was a Torah giant 100 years ago He would only give mareh mikomos, he used to speak of mareh mikomos, yeah Reb Gustman He was on R' Chaim Ozer's bais din, and they sent a Sheilah out to the Ohr Sameach, R' Mier Simchah of Divinsk and to the Ruggid Shovah and the Ohr Samaech sent back a beautiful Teshuva and The Ruggid Shovah sent back a list of mareh Mikomas. that was his Teshuva So, so R' Chaim Ozer told R' Gustman take off a week and turn this into a teshuva So he takes off a week and he writes it up and he comes back and he says I did the best I could But I don't know what he wants with these six So R' Chaim Ozer looks at him goes. Ah, those are the jokes. But you know, I think imagine the Ruggid Shovah was out of this world, you know So he was looking for a Talmed Chacham to marry his son So this is the way I heard this story and I don't know if it's true or not, but you know Sometimes the story is better than whether or not it's true. Yeah The this boy says I'll I'll I'm gonna marry the Ruggid Shovah's daughter. It's you your okay, but your not. Watch. So he goes in and he says, nu Say a piece of Torah. This is Ervin ayin gimel. Just okay, famous question. What do you want to say says Shabbos Kuf Lamed Tes? Oh That's interesting Yeah, but what are you gonna do with the Gemarah Pisachim on yud daled? He says huh the Tosfos in chagigah on daf bais but that Tosfos right there, That's unbelivable and they went back forth like this for a little while and he says Wow this guy's out of the world Anyway, so, we're not doing my become to see we we spill everything out. Yeah I'm of a strong belief that You know the the clearer you make things, things are better. You can't go wrong. My friend Rabbi Gurnofsky the rosh yeshivah of Ir Dovid, He told me his story years ago, it's evidently an old story but I heard it from him yeah Is that the Baalei Batim come to the Rav and he says, you know, it's cold in the shul Maybe you can ask the custodian to turn on the heat So the Rav goes over to him and he says Jimmy turn on the heat So they say Racv. I thought you can only do it derech remiza, with a hint. He says by him that's a remez If he turns it on and that can be anybody's guess. You know, what people say, so You know what they say if they make something idiot-proof. They'll just make a better idiot. So Anyway, I like to spell everything out. You can't even go wrong with clarity So we wish people Mazal Tov which we translate is good luck Because it sounds much better. Then you should have a good zodiac sign But that's what a Mazel is. It's a zodiac sign the zodiac the 12 zodiac signs have their corresponding names in in Yiddishkeit The kinah that we say Tisha Ba'av night is all of the Mazalos mourning the destruction of the Bais Ha'Mikdash Tefilas Geshem and Tefilas Tal. There's a Peyut that we say according to the Mazalos and the Mazalos have this certain power it's there's a power in the month that is revealed by that Mazel and If you know how to take advantage of it you could take advantage of the power that exists in that month The Kli Yakra says that Nissan is Aries Which I always thought was interesting because the Nissan car company had a car called the Aries. I wonder if that was by coincidence, but but it's a sheep and so that's why we brought the Karbon Pesach in Nissan to counteract the power of the sheep, says the Kli Yakar. We Shechted it on Yud Daled and we ate it on Tes Vuv because the fourteenth and fifteenth of a month when the moon is full Is the most dramatic expression of that of that Mazal and so you know we have that we have that sense that we Understand that that Mazal exists Adar is Mazal Dugim. And as you know, yeah, it's a Gemarah in Megillah When Haman did the gorel, when he did the por, did the lot, and it came out on Adar one of the reasons he was happy about that is because it was Mazal Dugim and Just like a big fish swallows a small fish so am I gonna swallow Bnei Yisroel and the Bas Kol (voice from heaven) comes out and laughs at him and says An even bigger fish is gonna eat that fish, you know You could just say well there's a bigger fish is going to that fish until of course you come to the biggest fish The biggest fish is Livyoson and that's a sign of Mashiach. So there's stuff going on over here, but But Mazal Dugim, now On the secular zodiac they give you Pisces Pisces Show you two fish pointing in opposite directions But that's not the way that we draw Mazal Dugim. It's head to toe ying and yang It's in a constant circle Dag So the head is to the toe and the toes to the head you know that Dag is out of order Yeah, here's a riddle that you could use on someone who doesn't bother watching Our podcast. Yeah, you can use this Here's the riddle What does this mean, whistle till the fish come backward, I'll wait No, okay, it's the Alef Bais Because Tuf Shin Reish Kuf is to whistle to Schrock and then when you reach the end, it's dag, bah fish come So whistle till the fish come backwards is the Alef Bais Thank you very much and so dag is backwards, what is the theme of Purim? Vinohapoch Hu, everything turns upside down, wheel of fortune Yeah, things turn around things things The wheel of fortune things turned this way that way Yeah, when I was a magician, so I used to do a trick with tarot cards and tarot cards Are these fortune-telling cards, you know, and one of them is called the wheel of fortune, wheel of furtune if you get that card. So it means that Everything is gonna turn upside down The main thing when using tarot cards is you just have to be creative and know what the person wants you to say Then it's amazing how smart you could be. But anyway The Wheel of Fortune that means everything's gonna turn around. Oh great. Yeah, or they say Oh terrible Well, let's just turn the card this way So so so Adar is Dagim it's it's it's backwards everything everything is going the other way and And dagim as we know are not affected by the Eyin Harah And And so it's a it's a lucky month for the Jewish people It's a good time for us. If you have a court case, you should try to do it in Adar It's brought down in Halacha. You were supposed to hang up a sign. Meshenichnas Adar Marbim B'simcha it's brought down in Halacha, Yeah Maybe we'll we'll stick one on You know on the website so that you can you know Print it out so that you'll have your own Meshenichnas Adar Marbim B'simcha courtesy of the Rabbi Orlofsky show maybe we'll have that on at the Rabbi Orlofsky show, Yeah, on the sign, so you know that you look at it and you just are filled with simcha yeah anyway, so So that's Adar, now it's interesting like this: zman simchaseinu is Sukkos, that's not that's not Purim. Purim is the day of tzchok. Because what makes you laugh? the unexpected. Yeah, Two guys walked into a bar and ordered a drink. Not very funny. Two guys walked into a bar and said, "ouch". Now, it's also not very funny, but at least it's a joke! (Laughing) This, you didn't see it coming, it's unexpected! I always assume, you know, 'cuz no one's ever heard a bar joke before, you know The rabbi, priest and minister walk into a bar, and the guy says, "can I help you?" He says, "we're here to make a joke." (Laughing) There're a lot of jokes that exist in, in bars, yeah. This rope walks into a bar and he said, "I wanna drink." He says, "we don't serve rope." So he walks out, twists himself up, messes up his top, he walks back in, he says, "are you a rope?!" He says, "I'm a frayed knot.' (Laughing) That is such an awful joke! But anyway, but there's a lot of bar jokes, you know Today they tell blonde jokes. I don't know why, they think blonds are stupid, but whatever. But, this guy says, "tell me." So he says, he says, There's this blonde, you know, it was this blonde, so the bartender says, "I'm a blonde. See the weight lift over there? He's a blonde. See the cop over there? He's a blonde. See the special ops guy over there? He's a blonde. Do you still want to tell this joke?" He says, "what, and explain it four times?" (Laughing) Anyway, I don't know what there is about bars that are so funny. (Laughing) I have occasionally been in bars. I never found they're very funny, but... But, again, it's the unexpected; tzchok is the V'nohapach Hu, things turn upside down, dag, yeah The daggim, head to toe, things turn around, yeah. So that's, that's Adar. That's not what I want to talk about. (Laughing) Because we're going to be Shabbos Mivorchim of Adar Beis, which is The Odder Adar, not this Adar. We already had Adar. Now, here's an amazing thing: I saw a list of the Mazolos and it shows you Tishrei is the scales. Right? You go down, Shvat is the d'li, yeah, you go down and you keep going, when you come to Adar Aleph, it shows the dagim, when you come to Adar Beis, it shows the dagim. How is that supposed to work? There's there's a cycle to the year, so how could you have two Mazolos? "So listen to a Chizkuni! Wanna hear a Chizkuni? Listen, listen to a Chizkuni." (Laughing) "I'm gonna tell you an unbelievable Chizkuni." (Laughing) Ahhhhh... I'm, I'm a fan of of most of the speakers who are out there, I really enjoy them so, Rabbi Frand matches it, whatever he says he presents it so dramatically. You're out there, "hear a Mishnah Berurah! You wanna hear a Mishnah Berurah?!' (Laughing) So, "I wanna share with you a Chizkuni!', yeah. (Laughing) True story, true story Jackie Mason was originally a Rav. He came from a family of Rabbonim, his father was a Rav, his brothers were Rabbonim, you know, I was in yeshiva with his, with his nephews, you know, his name was originally Mazer. So They all talk exactly the same. (Laughing) So, we were doing a Shabbaton in Deer Park, and the rabbi was Rabbi Mazer, it was Jackie Mason's brother. And he's talking to the kids, now the kids didn't know who he was, you know, Jackie Mason We had heard of him, you know, so he goes, (Lower East Side accent) "I'm gonna tell you a Rashi. You want to hear a Rashi? "I'm gonna tell you an unbelievable Rashi, listen to this Rashi, you're gonna really enjoy this Rashi." (Laughing) Me and my wife were cracking up, my kids were listening, you know? "Okay, we'll hear a Rashi." (Laughing) He has another brother who was a mohel. He did my nephew out in New Jersey. And he says, (Lower East Side accent), "we're gonna do the milah now, you wanna do a Milah?" "Who's the sandak? You're the sandak? Okay, sit down over here." (Laughing) Great boys. Anyway, "you wanna hear a Chizkuni, I'm gonna tell ya a Chizkuni." (Laughing) So, He says like this: when they went out to battle Amalek he says, "bachar lecha anashim". So Rashi says, people who know kishuf so they can counteract the black magic of Amalek. Amalek used black magic. (Singing/snapping) "That old black magic has me in a spell, that old black-" Anyway, so they knew how to counteract it. Yeah? Thou shall not pass! Pssssht! Anyway, so, uh whatever, they had black magic. It's something the Chizkuni says. You wanna hear a Chizkuni? (Laughing) The Chizkuni says, find people who were born in Adar Beis. Because Adar Beis doesn't have a mazel. And therefore Anybody born in Adar Bais cannot be affected by kishuf, because there's not even a mazel. Now this is an amazing idea because the Chazal tell us, "ein mazel l'Yisroel." We're not affected by the mazalos, but obviously on some level we are. There's some, there's some idea, yeah. You know, yeah, you hear about people having good mazel, bad mazel, yeah. It affects certain things. But people who were born Adar Beis this is above mazel. Now, there's a machlokes: Mi shenichnas Adar marbim b'simcha, when you come into Adar you're supposed to increase your happiness. I have a friend of mine. I don't know if he wants to be mentioned because now he's, you know a chushuva mechanech and you know, part of a tzemed and a rav in a big yeshiva, so I don't know but I'm always caught in these situations of if I should give people credit or not. Yeah, like people really don't want the credit. Yeah, so When I was in I was speaking for some organization and the guy who was introducing me knew me back for my NCSY days and he was introducing me by telling all these embarrassing stories of when I was a youth director, you know, and I was just sinking into the ground. When he was done I got up and I said, "now I understand why they banned the making of a gadol." (Laughing) Not every story has to be told, you know. So I don't know if he, if he wanted this out there or not but he used to say the saddest day of the year is Erev Rosh Chodesh Adar, and the happiest day of the year is Erev Rosh Chodesh Av. Why? Because it says, mi shenichnas Av ma'atin b'simcha. When you come to Av you should lessen your simcha. Doesn't say when to stop. So starting in Av you just get sadder and sadder and sadder throughout the entire year until you reach Adar and than it says, mi shenichnas Adar marbim b'simcha! Oh! Now you start getting happy... (Laughing) You start getting happier, happier, and happier. That's not pshat. But it is very funny, right? There is a special mitzvah to marbeh b'simcha. Parenthetically you understand, that means that I have the ability to make myself happy and even happier, yeah. Cheer up. Cheer up or else it's a terrible aveira. You're gonna burn in Gehenom if your not happy. (Laughing) But anyway, Mi shenichnas adar marbim b'simcha. So there's a machlokes whether that applies also to Adar Aleph or not. When it says, ein bein Adar Alef, Adar Rishon L'Adar Sheini elah... does it, what about the simcha. It's a machlokes. But certainly, when we come to Adar Beis, there's a special din of simcha, and there's a special din of its mamash above mazel. You, we're moving into a very special time here where we have the ability to move beyond the limitations. And since it's the power of v'nahaphechu ... I saw a sign once that said, "argue your limitations and they're yours." I used to have these kids who wanted to stay Shana Bet. They came for one year, and then wanted to stay for a second year, And they asked me, you know "my parents won't let me." I said, "listen, if you tell me that you can't come back for a second year, I guarantee you you're not gonna come back for a second year. But if you tell me you ARE going to come back for a second year, maybe you will, maybe you won't. But but if you've already decided, 'I can't do this,' yeah..." Everyone knew You couldn't run a mile in less than four minutes, until the first guy did, and then a whole bunch of people did. Because I saw a sign once it said, "the impossible is the possible that hasn't happened yet." So everything's impossible until it happens, So Argue your limitations and they're yours. I can't do this. I'm sorry, I can't do this. I can't handle this. You'd be surprised what you can handle. You'd be surprised given, given certain circumstances. Yeah, I live in Har Nof, way off in the distance you can see Hadassah Hospital over the mountain. And we had some Shabbos guests when my son was little, and they lifted him up by his arms, and he started screaming and he couldn't move his arm. So I ran across the street to our family doctor, who lived across the street, Dr. Pesach Astroy and he pushed the arm back in, and it looked like it was fine but he says, "I can't say for sure. You have to go for an x-ray." That was very close to Shabbos. So I grabbed his carriage, I grabbed some money, ran off to Hadasa, got there just before Shabbos, went, registered, they took an x-ray, they said, "everything's fine, go home." Now home was over there Very very far away. I put him into a carriage, and if you ever driven down to Hadassah Ein Kerem, so you know this long, winding, mountain road surrounded by forests. Around the same time that there was an outbreak of rabid foxes (Laughing) Anyway, I put him in the carriage, and I start pushing him uphill. And there are cars that are zooming to the hospital Friday night not expecting to see somebody pushing his son in a carriage you know, in, in the dark on the mountain road. Yeah, so it was pretty dangerous. And we're going, and in the back I hear the foxes, I hear the rabid foxes gathering, you know. And I was at the time about a hundred pounds heavier than I am now. And walking was never one of the areas that I excelled in, I was never really good at that, I was okay, but it wasn't certainly exceptional and this was miles on a Friday night. And, and what could I do? I could just sit down and give up, or you could just keep pushing the carriage up. And when I finally got to the outskirts of Yerushalayim I was so happy because at least there was a road, you know. I had to keep walking and walking, and going and going, going till I got at home. It took hours and hours. If you asked me, could I do that? The answer is, no I can't do it. But I have no choice. So you do what you have to do. Rav Noach Weinberg, he used to tell an unbelievable story. He was speaking once about doing kiruv, reaching out to Jews and so this guy says to him, this frum guy says, "yeah, I made a baal teshuvah." Says, "yeah, did you?" says "yeah, I had, I had a nursing home and it was all goyim, but I had this one Jewish woman. So I paid extra money to a private caterer to get her kosher food. And she reports me to the state. 'he says he's not treating me the same as everybody else', but I'm not allowed to serve her trief. So I said to her, I said, 'listen, you know that, that trief chazerie, it's not healthy.' So she says, 'I'm 92 years old how much longer have I got? I want to eat what everybody else eats.'" He says, "but the kosher food is much tastier." She says, "I don't have any teeth. (Laughing) You think I know what I'm tasting? I want to eat what everybody else eats", you know. He says, "more expensive, we're spending more money on it", she goes, "I don't care. I want to eat what everyone else eats." And now, she keeps Shabbos, she davens, she says tehilim. So Rav Noach says, "wow, that's amazing. What'd you say?" He goes, "have you not been following this story? I was gonna lose my nursing home. They were gonna close me down. I don't know what I said, I just started talking, I started crying, I started whatever I could say I said because my business was on the line." Rav Noach would always say, if your business is on the line, if this is really important to you, you'll figure out what to say. Yeah. Argue your limitations and they're yours. If you, if you decide, I can't do anything Remember that in this coming month! There's no mazel, it's the power of V'Nahaphachu. You could become anybody you want, you can do anything you want. I always thought maybe that's one of the reasons we wear masks because Become whoever you want, dress up and be who you want. You can become anything. So Mi shenichnas Adar marbim b'simcha, this should be a beautiful month for everybody. And that's it for this week. If you want to find out more about this show, go to rabbiorlofsky.com/podcast and If you want to comment on this particular one, it's rabbiorlofsky.com/podcast/21 And if you want to find about upcoming events, it's rabbiorlofsky.com/events And if you'd like to contact me, it's rabbiorlofsky.com/contact and if you would like to sponsor an episode There are still sponsorships available rabbiorlofsky.com/podcast and click on 'sponsor an event' I'm Dovid Orlofsky. This is the Rabbi Orlofsky show.