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14: Bo, My Bar Mitzvah, and I

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Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky avatar
Rabbi Dovid Orlofsky

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Hi this is Rabbi Orlofsky and welcome to the Rabbi Orlofsky show That's right. It comes to you every week from Yerushalayim, and this week we have a studio audience! [applause] Thanks you, thank you very much. Would you like to be part of the Rabbi Orlofsky studio audience? just get on a plane and fly to Eretz Yisrael and travel to Yerushalayim, and come to my home and you can sit here too Well is that all that we have added here on the Rabbi Orlofsky Show because Almost from the beginning people have been asking me for Sponsorship opportunities people would like to dedicate a podcast in memory of a loved one and honor of a loved one Just in honor of themselves and I will make a speech about you I have no problem I will be more than happy to do that and in fact you know I have My father's yahrtzeit, my mother's yahrtzeit coming up but you could take that podcast anyway I don't really care because I'll tell you a story it's a true story [audience chuckles] my - it's a true story my father It was terrible it was absolutely terrible I had this trip to America that was just a terrible trip and the I was in three cities a day for the first week the next time I was speaking the morning speaking the afternoon and speaking at night For an entire week and then at the very end of the trip I flew out to LA from LA I flew the next day to Miami from Miami I flew to New York rented a car spoke in Philadelphia and then I came back home and I was supposed to be leaving for the airport and my father said to me It's not right you come into America you don't make time for your parents and I said then you're the one Who said I'm not gonna support you anymore and you'd better go out and make some money So, I'm running around doing this because and I wasn't even getting paid by the speech I was doing this for a school you know and He says, I don't care whatever it is you have to make time you have to make time just then the phone rings and it was the hospital and they said we found something on your lungs you're gonna have to come in and My mother started crying she did not stop crying for the next two years My father's really sure don't worry everything will be the right everything will manage we'll get through And I had to say well by everybody I gotta go to the airport it was just a horrific scene absolutely horrific so, I came back for the next trip and I scheduled to spend Shabbos with my parents after this home which was especially now my father's sick and and somebody wanted me to come for that Shabbos and I said he can come and they said we're real asking me or for you a Very large sum of money and I said I can't do it And then she doubled the amount of money and I said I can't do it my father is sick He wants to spend time and I came back And I told my father I said you know that I'm spending the Shabbos with you But this school offered me X number of dollars to come for Shabbos and I said no I'd rather spend it with my father My father said you should have taken the money So that just gives you an idea but when what he would have wanted For that podcast anyway but there is opportunity for you to sponsor you can go on my website and go to the podcast section and go to a sponsor and you could sponsor a podcast and we will speak about you now last week I Got many many emails this week from people Worrying that I was actually having a nervous breakdown I'm not I'm really very fine I'm back on my meds everything's fine you Think but but the fact that matter is that I really wanted to I I was never upset I was never upset I Wanted to be able to bring out different things and I think the most amazing thing I mean there were a lot of people who commented and one person said You know I'm looking forward to get your mother's brisket recipe now I'll tell you why cuz I gave my mother's vegetable soup recipe last week and she says because of the story with the brisket I don't know if I've ever told this in the podcast I don't remember if I did or not but My father hated waste he grew up the depression wasting was the worst thing you could possibly do so whoever made this comment had obviously heard me tell the story for so But my family wouldn't eat leftovers this is an amazing thing you can't waste bendy leftovers so my mother would make a first cut brisket every Shabbos and Whatever was left is so sometimes she'd make it into a goulash, sometimes she would do things with a lot of times and You know throw it away but my father would go crazy So my mother would put it into a plastic bag and stick it into another bag of garbage and have me take it out to the garbage can and stick it on the bottom of the garbage can and I did this for years and I got married and my father wanted to give me marital advice and And he says he says listen you know the most important thing Is you have to be understanding nobody's perfect it says take your mother, I love your mother. She's terrific. She's loyal She's I couldn't ask for a better person in the world but she wastes it gets me crazy You know she throws away half a brisket she hides it at the bottom of the garbage Ken thinks I'm not gonna find it but I find it every time so So that's the story so the person must have heard the story and they said how does she make the brisket you know Now don't throw it away And you're gonna use my mother's recipe don't throw it away if we've learned one thing from this story so how did she make her Brisket now I'm gonna have to add a caveat here My mother Taught me how to cook by the it's easy stupid method that's how my mother said she'd say make this I said I can't She says it's easy stupid I'll give you an example all right roast chicken What could be easy there was chicken you slice some onions put it into a pan put in the chicken sprinkle some Gog and paprika Stick into the oven at 350 that's it it's roast chicken I went said this newlywed who said to me how do you make roast chicken I know how to make I go to the cookbooks and they have chickens with sauce and chicken with desert nobody tells you how to make roast chicken so Burke Hashem my mother would say it's easy stupid that's how you made it a Brisket, was the same method he sliced up some onions put in the brisket for those of garlic and paprika stick it in the oven at 350 for Whatever was an hour she did a first cut brisket now I have to add a caveat because that works for an American brisket Israeli briskets are tough these are tough cows these are not like the cows in America which was soft and easygoing These sit on the bar is a limb and they spit carrying them and they're tough he's a tough cat he's a tough cast so I've been working on this method now my son what he does is he puts in a little he put he takes the brisket he salts put some salt and paprika and A little bit of sauce you know a little liquid he covers it up and he leaves it in the oven at 250 degrees He says for 14 hours I find when you, do that it falls apart I think it's more like 810 hours I did a check yeah and then that's how He, does it so it comes out soft because this is tough meat, I came up with this great method Where I do it on on the stovetop where you brown it on both sides You know and you put on the garlic and peppery can you put it in and I had some tomato sauce And I had some wine red wine I put in some bay leaves I put in some Coca-cola and I put in some A little soy sauce you know and I bring it to a simmer and I let it simmer for about oh I'd say four hours And a very low heat and it comes out gevalt 'ok now My mother used to make her brisket with potatoes and roast potatoes a brisket but I'm not gonna do this I'm cooking for four hours So for me I do it for I make rice that goes with the source that's wonderful Anyway, that's that's the brisket recipe but what are the things I talked about is that somebody was upset about the sign and And somebody made a comment I must read this it's actually on YouTube you can go and see it there yourselves but I found this so so deep so philosophical and so brilliant that I want to share it with you I love the rabbi Dovid arlovski show sign subplot of the show One week is on the left but curling at the corner the next it's on the right last week it Was upside down drawing the viewers attention demanding the question what is the sign for? Just take a moment to reflect on it Clearly not to add a polished look is it simply Informational but we all know that we clicked What we clicked on before we clicked on it it's in the title of the video does the sign matter Well clearly it Does cuz it's placed in a fresh spot every week so someone is deciding every week that it needs to be there this causes one to delve deeper What is a sign anyway perhaps this is a commentary on? society's need to place labels on everything and how its silly and meaningless perhaps this is an illustration of the Classic battle of the ego saying I like having a show with my name in the title and so I print a sign but I Don't like the part of me so I publicly treat the sign poorly Fascinating stuff. I can't wait to see where the sign goes next week PS I like the speech, also Now All I can say is yes that's exactly what we're doing You are mama shmakov and sign I just can't believe it anyway Okay, episode 14 this is parshas bow. I said this last week parshas bows my bar mitzva partial but Yamahas sham Elmo sure bow el perro Kiani Only a Bar Mitzvah boy can lame this way anybody else will be beaten to death Jase how loud even mister I am so so sorry should something mom yeah So it's nice and slow everybody's listening back then or you got a piece of sponge cake and Manischewitz mine but it was worth it people sat through a Bar Mitzvah yeah and and It's so interesting I just saw there was a comedian by the name of Alan King who claims he grew up in an orthodox home and and he was speaking about his son's Bar Mitzvah I Heard the recording was to the medicines Bat Mitzvah and he says I made a rule that you don't get to come to the reception Unless you come to the synagogue Saturday boy what an interesting interesting thing yeah so So in any event it was my bar mitzvah and This was a turning point in my life which. I'm sharing with you because you my community and and I was bar mitzvah in the East Meadow Jewish Center which was a conservative synagogue That my parents had found it among other people obviously not alone but It was a generation my father grew up in an orthodox home but He came out to Long Island you know although all the shoes that were being started Was conservative one of the other founders told me why he says we asked people to come out and help us start the start the show and So the Orthodox basically said we have nothing to offer you reform was too garish for us most of us grew up in Orthodox homes and conservative they offered to give us seed money they offer us a Constitution they said they would pay a rabbi at the beginning you know and they would get us started So that's why there, was this wave of concern of synagogues and they used an orthodox sitter and they had a Orthodox closet and an orthodox rub but they had mix eating and It was interesting and I had personally became shower trumpet our mitzvahs about a few months before my bar mitzvah and I was walking to shul as I had already for months and Cars kept pulling up offering me rides I kept saying thank you very much for that you know I need them I need the walk you know and and it was amazing now my father's father his mother passed away before I was born he got remarried and I didn't have much a relationship with my grandfather because he only spoke Yiddish and Yiddish was my parents secret language they only spoke When they didn't want me to know what they were saying So they would speak to each other in a secret language you know and you pick up terms you know my oldest brother was the grace' and my youngest brother was declining and I was the under yeah, which means the other one yeah and so I you listen for certain phrases like if I'd hear my mother say to my father give him the Kindle off the gelt I would say the under ur is do I was the expense of my Yiddish so so my grandfather always spoke Yiddish and Remember at some point he went senile to this day I associated speaking Yiddish with senility and I really had no relation with him it's a pity I wish I did but he married a woman who his second wife Who spoke English and they came to my house my bar mitzvah and it was the first Real Shabbos of my home that I remember it was I remember Friday night I was practicing my my lining and there was my step grandmother with a with the turtle sitting at the table saying - hello it was such a such a powerful experience for me that to be able to see somebody this and You go into a bar mitzvah it was a For me it was a deeply meaningful experience obviously so parshas bow I want to share some thoughts on Parshas bow it's not my actual. Bar Mitzvah speech as I mentioned last week I had a printed out piece of paper that every kid would make a Standard speech so I don't want to share that one with you but There are certain Verte law that are on every part so that everyone knows now I know this because I used to have guys, when they would come to my house I made everybody say devout Torah I was younger than I don't have the strength for it anymore and And the most important thing is obviously I picked this up One week when a guy came in he had written out and he read this vii Torah and it was? Incoherent and it was knowing understanding and I and I look at his paper I can't figure it out I said where'd you get this from he says the Amitha Yaakov I look at him in Emma's lack of It's it's about. Three lines it's all. Meir McComas and Russian TiVo's I'm looking it up. I'm trying to figure out What he's talking about I said why would you choose this one and he said it's the shortest it's the shortest and I used to have a guy come to my house many times he would always say the same to my Torah the Torah Starts with the bays and ends with alarm it. Backwards it spells lave you should always learn the tour with all your heart and After a while it wasn't that powerful of Voort to start with and after a while it started to get a little little trite I said to him you know the Torah starts with a base and Ends with a lammott if you say that twice it's Bell Bell you just mix everything up so I don't think say that one of my kids observed that torah begins with a tough and ends with a hey you should always have a cup of tea, when you learnt all right you know that you know but this was this was a mark this this went along this would this was considered attractive back then But there are certain vault lock that everybody knows parshas bow has one of those famous verloc bow and gamma tria is 3 and That's course there are 3 Mako's and parshas bow Wait for it? parshas v era has 7 Mako's now the first two letters of parshas bow equals 3 just go if there are only two letters but the first two letters equal three the first two letters of the era equals seven and there are seven markers of the era and three and bow look how this all fits together and I also a lot if I mention this but the tourist starts with a base and ends with alarm it Backwards it spells late yes anyway but this will avoid on Parsons bow is avert that everybody knows but I think there's something that's more Important than that Yeah, relationship hero used to say at the end of the the end of the Perisher you know it comes at the end more or Less sums everything up so for example in parshas told those he pointed this out that the very last thing is That Asaph marries the daughter of your smile why because since Yaakov is going off to build Claysville our two Mortal enemies a savanna Schmoe are joining together to be able to destroy us so there's a The end of the part it really ties it all together if you can you can see where it's going so what's the end of parshas bow the mid-surface filling mrs. Dillon value a total foes Bane in fo Now there's a strange thing because as you know the Sudoku somebody told me the quraíam I Remember hearing the quraíam I once in my shoe nor Samara had a camera right and he insisted that it was not true That they don't but I remember Reading whether it's a Nukem of the quraíam but whoever it was would place that fill-in over here bein a never between their eyes When you think about it to a certain extent that makes sense because this is bein a neva We go up and we say well it's where the hairline is Or was depending on who I'm talking to you know my I Was once speaking at an Orlovsky? Simcha you know and I said you know one thing about us our laughs Keys we all have our hair We have heart disease and diabetes but at least we have our here and one of my son in-laws who is holding on to a little bit of his hair he spoke it as simcha and he says I May not have much hair but I don't have diabetes and heart disease so you tell me when you would prefer Definitely they here in any event You gotta give you a priority string anyway so you put it in between your eyes at the hairline or where your hairline was yeah and That's where it goes, so that's baning now it's not really been a mecca is it I mean score one for the sadducees yeah I might say cause for sure but it seems to make more sense yeah So the word bow is a brilliant word, when you think about it bow means come you have Bay's and you have olives you have two and they come together they form one to one they come together that's what bow is Yeah bow by the way what's the opposite of? you have one who has a kid in order to become a father you have to have a kid one becomes two Aleph days of yeah so bow means come together come to me yeah The whole punisher is talking about us coming to a courage bar whole and by the way There are seven Makos in the area and three and bow coincidence Right I'm gonna try that one one more time yeah there are seven Markos in the era and three in BO coincidence Excellent thank you very much anyway yes you too can be part of the studio audience obviously we've set the bar very low anyway We're gonna start having someone holding up signs of the order anyway but No and you find that the number 10 is often divided into ten and three yeah So there are a sirum Amoros ten Expressions said in seven days you see how seven and ten are broken down Abram and lake lacar is promised ten lands he gets seven of them three We're told him to varam we'll get BMO Sam Ashiya ten is divided into seven and three yeah Eretz Cletus IRA Geffen - Anil Ramon yeah there are seven fruits that come from three water sources Seven and three you find this a lot and that's because as you know the Spheeris does your? Sphere a Savi yeah you know that the spirits are divided up into the three what are called Mohan the higher ones Which is either Kesser Hawkwind bina or? hakama bina - there's different ways of doing it and the lower seven ones So if you take a look it's very interesting. What were the first seven Marcos last week's Barcia yeah Tell pyro let my people go or tell para let my people go or tell bara, okay? When he reaches the last of the seven Marcos he says now I'm gonna send this coma gave us a I'm sending all my plagues Says the girl why cuz you find it a crisper always Three weapons he's got fire that he destroyed stone he's got water that he destroyed the door mobile and he has a V R that he destroyed the door flogger and with the Burrowed we had all three it was water with fire inside and colos that came down So all three weapons meaning. I'm sending my entire arsenal and at this point I'm done I'm done So, what are these last three Marcos these Marcos are for you Yeah, I'm gonna bring you our but why He got it to live in hub and burn far as I say he sell out leave him a try him this is for the kids he has a marker for the kids right I'm gonna send gigantic swarms of Arabic gonna cover all Mitzrayim and they're just going to eat everything Chomp Chomp Chomp Chomp job when you think about it it's pretty funny Not if it's happening to you yeah, we had a plague of locusts in there it's shown the 50s somebody told me that they weren't in kibbutz and This cloud descends and they eat everything I said why'd you SWAT it says why did this a gazillion of them? what are you supposed to do with them he says so the Thema NIM They ran out got a jar and pulled it fulfill them in there to eat later You know and they just landed and when they flew away there was nothing everything was eaten but it says Clearly that's for you why was there Marcus Ho chef says Rashi either for to kill the bad Jews who couldn't come out or? so we could find where they hid with their treasures the fact that the myths from were punished was almost you know Incidental and of course Marcus burrows that was the one that Was for us to make a difference between us and midstream and that's why coach Barr Who says many times every Bihar belongs to me etc Yeah, so these last three Markos are specifically for clayey so beau Come together this is me and you you'd see a Smith Ryan we're walking out together Bein a nigga there's a Fascinating thing you don't see Over here you think you see over here you don't you see over here The optic nerve is in the back That's where you put the knot of the tefillin? When you see with your eyes if you remember this from science class are two pictures upside down and reversed your brain has to take those two pictures Combine them turn it right-side up and it does that over here that's right When somebody gets hit in the back of the head they have trouble seeing it just seems a little counterintuitive getting hit in the back of the head But it's it's because you really see over there it goes from the eyes to the back of your head through if I recall correctly ganglia if I remember and they crisscross right over here This is bein a nickel nothing with sight takes place over here but the two images from your eyes cross Over here that's been a NECA and go straight back here will you actually see We you put the bits filling and the night of the tefillin it's the to your two eyes that become one its bow it's the idea of combining Osseous the rebbi akiva says yeah that when a coach bra who was getting ready to write the Torah every letter wanted to come first Lawmen said I'm the tallest tough said I'm worth the most income ah true you'd says I flow brother the line I don't even touch anything everyone had a reason Everyone was arguing why they should come first except Allah I love said nothing And that Shem said olive why don't you say anything and he said because I'm a silent letter Yeah, no that's not what he said that's what I would have said but But what I'll have actually said was? I'm the least I'm only worth one So a Shem said I'm also only one So he says so you gonna start with me He says don't be ridiculous you only worth one I'm gonna go with bass bayes's the letter of bracha yeah but I'm gonna save you for the Associated Press do you see what happens from the creation of the world till the Receiving of the Torah on our scene I which as you know last week's partial from Dodd Lashon nice of gula The fourth one is I'm going to go to her Sina and give you the Torah that's the end of the of the UTSA petroleum Process, when Moshe first asks I could his burrow hole why am I taking them out of Egypt he said so you'll come to this Mount and I'll give the Torah so this was something that Was already understood at that point yeah so the entire Bey's of creation the entire process is leading up to the Aleph of a Nokia Chemeketa the Bey's becomes an olive that's Bay's right that's olive that's bow that's the two that become one and So, when we say deign a knife at the end of the parish are the two things that you see in your eyes become one they, join, together into one picture yeah that is the essence of bow of two becoming one so this week Where we have the actual story of UTS miss Ryan and we go out and we begin that journey So it's a story of us in a Kurdish borough who becoming one to the point that when we come to her scene I there are hundreds of Quezada compared to a wedding and Asian and Asia becoming goof efford us and occurs burro who joining together and So I'd like to wish myself a hearty Mazel Tov on the occasion of my bar mitzvah very much Thank you and that's about it for this week So if you want more information about the podcast please go to rub your laughs key that calm slash podcast if you want to make any information about this particular podcast it's where we ll see that calm slash podcast slash 14 if you want to know about any of my upcoming events where we allow si.com slash events if you would like to contact me it's Robbie Orlovsky calm slash contact and if you would like to sponsor a podcast yeah and memory and a loved one or in memory of a liked one or in memory of a tolerated one We are non-discriminatory So you want to go to reverie Laskey calm slash podcast and click on sponsor an episode and so a mid sized sham we will see you next week thank you for listening and watching