Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser: Revealing The Secrets of Life Through Pirkei Avos (Part 4)

what a wonderful solution is for all of us to be involved in the entire world in the learning of perciavos i would like to thank torah anytime for any time for their magnanimous efforts throughout the entire world somebody asked me just the other day what about supporting torah anytime i asked the question to them would you support atsala hatsala of course i would i said to them the same life-saving work that had sola does so does torah anytime they have raised the bar they have breathed in to cloud israel throughout the entire world i would also like to thank that unbelievable organization that is very close to my heart khazak khazak does not stop day and night throughout the entire week never ever do they stop for a moment to spread torah to bring torah to people that wouldn't have it to make sure that every child every boy is in yeshiva and every girl girls in basayako they are tireless they do their work completely lishma with greatness nephesh i cannot tell you what i have witnessed with my own eyes what khazakh has done in the world may they continue i would also like to thank my co-host rabbi dr david lieberman he is an incredible gift to our world his scholarship his sage advice his personality the way that he breaks complex in him down to very simple sound bites for all of us to be able to develop our own selves and to be better people our shirt today is going to gear on pirkei avas perakimo mishna tess the night mishna rabbi yaakov rabbiako said the person is just walking on the road um they were learning and then all of a sudden just momentarily they're masik they interrupt their learning the oymer and they say manoa ilonza how beautiful is this tree near how beautiful is this field they were learning now as we know uh ila a person has to learn day and night whenever we can we should try and learn no matter what it is you have a few minutes learn during that time you're waiting on the line you're waiting by the bank you're waiting somewhere have a little safer have those little pockets for him that have been published open it up and learn in those five minutes we don't know what a person could do they once asked the hassam cipher how did you become a god of israel you know what he answered i became a god of israel in just five minutes i'm sorry for five minutes that's all it took you he says no whenever there's five minutes i got five minutes to kill i got five minutes i'm just sitting around five minutes i'm waiting for something to begin during those five minutes that's when a person should be isaac with torah they should always have something that they can open up in review something they can learn anew this is something amazing when i used to see the great going rabia victor miller and he would come to a dinner on behalf of the yeshiva he would always sit with a safer and until it was his moment to speak he was i say he was completely involved in the safer or in his writings we do not interrupt no matter what it is no matter what happens in the world a person always has to learn and therefore we learn that an individual that is massive they're learning is not doing the correct thing what happened he stopped his learning he was in the middle of the road the imer and he said how beautiful is the tree how beautiful is the field you can't help but admire nature the torah considers it that as the person were mortally guilty as a person is high with his own nephesh with himself how did he become obligated in such a way what terrible thing did he do mishkaya those are strong words the answer is given over by the great hagyon torah rafire he says the following isn't it a mitzvah when a person sees something beautiful in nature they see a beautiful field they see a tree we all have to say how beautiful are the works how beautiful are all the things that hashem has created in this world am i supposed to say this of course i am more than that comes during nissan i see the tree i even make a bracha over those fruit trees and all the other brios togas all the other nice creations so what did the person do wrong says rafire is something amazing he says you know what he did wrong i'll tell you they took a look at the external they took a look at the outside of the tree oh it's a beautiful tree how nice the image what should the person have said how deep are its roots how strong is the tree the payrolls that it provides the foliage all the nice things that the tree does for the world but they got all caught up in the external energies how beautiful is the tree i would like to say that this particular lesson bears us abyssal a little bit of contemplation why because sometimes we also get caught up in the external and we judge people either by something external or by one incident one mice don't be fooled you can never tell the true depth of an individual judge don't dare judge your friend unless you've walked in his shoes don't dare judge a person just because you think or you made up or it looks like don't ever be fooled an individual that does that is over they have transgressed a negative prohibition when i see another yid i have to try to think good i have to try to think favorably even if i see the person and it appears as though they're not doing something correct i got to be done in la cascus why because the heilig valshamtov says that sometimes i will also need to be judged lakov's schools by the barai islam by hashem by our creator and if i judge my fellow men liquor screws i judge them favorably hashem will see me and judge me favorably meda canegenmida one turn for another how careful a person has to be when we see others not to jump to conclusions not to say oh i don't know if that person's for me i don't know if i could relate i don't know if that individual is good or not how careful we have to be in life and so my good friend ravran from muncie told me over that he got a knock on the door on shabbos shabbos he was in the middle of the suda he opens up the door there's a young man there he's got a mohawk mohawk the hair coming on the center of the head he's got earrings on the guy looked a little scary he was wearing a t-shirt and he says rabbi i would like to ask you a question do you have to use wine for kiddush or could you make it over something else rebrand said i couldn't understand it this guy what's going on here he looks like he's from the street he looks like i don't know where he's from and he's asking me about wine and kiddish and shabbos so you have to be mashed you have to answer and he told him what could be substituted instead of wine but he couldn't hold back his curiosity and he asked the young man tell me you you're making kiddush every shabbos and he says yes yes i do i know it probably looks like i don't but i want you to know my parents are not religious and they're a little bit against what i'm doing every shabbos they go to the beach they want to take me they pressure me they tell me that i have to listen as their son they are very strong-minded and i'm a little bit more gentle i couldn't refuse them i hate to admit it but there were some times that i did go for shabbos and it killed me inside so i thought of a great idea i shaved the sides of my head i grew this mohawk i put the earrings in and now they are so ashamed of me they wouldn't dream of taking me on shabbos altonas don't you judge anybody you can never tell the religiosity the spirituality the healing kite the holiness of another yeed no matter how they look no matter how they dress no matter how they go about who can tell what is inside the heart the x-ray machine has not yet been created that could tell a person's neshama that can read the thoughts of an individual's heart so therefore we learn don't get caught up in the sonia's don't get caught up in the external because the depth the pneumos the inside has a lot more to tell than just what seems to be on the outside and an individual should always know that every talmud every talmida that comes in whether they show great promise whether on their aptitude tests it says they're going to be the valedictorian and you can tell that at five years old what's going to happen when they graduate the 12th grade or whether they show little promise whether they have some challenges in life whether it's difficult for them to learn every child we have to take a look at that they could be a future god will be israel they could take possibly certain steps no matter what their challenges are and they could become great i want you to know i once went i was asked by a family with a downs syndrome child i was asked by the family to go with them together to see a child that had accomplished a young boy in new jersey in order to be majasic the family it was my greatest source to go together the man who opened up the door from the amin welcomed us in in a couple of minutes he called his young son the one who had the down syndrome and he told him please come in son came in i greeted him cute boy he took us down into the basement he opened up doors there was a complicated picture full size of an airplane but a cutaway so you could see the various parts of the airplane he began to ask his son could you tell me what's this part called the sunu he went and started taking the parts of the engine what is that part called in the sunu then he went to a part in the middle what is that part in the sunu i was amazed but that wasn't it then he did it another time and he said this time tell me in french and he asked him all the various parts parts i don't know if i could remember in english forget about french and the boy knew every single part me idea who knows the ejoyless the explosive potential inside of a child the child that didn't show much promise who knows what they could become who knows what will happen to the child to the little girl who maybe didn't have the greatest small time in the first and the second and the third grade and they said that she needs help and we don't know and this and that edus it makes us wise it makes us understand it makes us be able to plummet the depths that is what we learn that is our torah so everybody every child has the ability to become a shirt every child has the ability to stag according to their level as we learn for each child we should understand what exactly is their secret how do we bring out the best in them that is our job that is our job to find out to get close to the child to look close up it's interesting it says that we know that water is to a face so is the heart of man to man what does it mean water is to a face a person sees the reflection in water ask the great sadiq simcha bono pajiska if it wants to tell us about something you see the reflection in why doesn't it use a mirror as an example why does it use water as an example why what's the reason he says the following because if you have a mirror and the mirror is in a big wedding hall and it's a hundred feet away you can still walk in there and you can still see your reflection you can even see yourself in that mirror and some people like to see themselves in that mirror and they get caught up however if you want to see your reflection in the water you've got to actually get very close down to where the waterway is and then you can see yourself that's what the pusuk is telling us if you want to know what's doing in the next person's heart if you want to know how to educate the child if you want to know how to lift up him or her to the next level you got to get close to them you got to understand what's going on you got to try to put yourselves in their situation in their familiar situation in the struggles that they have then understand them and bring them out but not just looking from afar from the hundred feet away that way you'll never be able to tell you get close to them and believe me you'll have some of the best my best talmudim my best talmidas were not necessarily those that were 100 percent that were valedictorians all the time although they are great they are great but you know what i had a lot of great talmidam and tamidas that grew you know where they grew from they grew from being just mediocre they grew from challenges they grew from those that said nah you you know i'll be i'll be very happy if you remain a from yid if you remain just religious you know what i could tell you some of the leaders of the community today i received a call from england just three days ago from an unbelievable yeed he wouldn't mind if i told you his name but for confidentiality i won't i can't tell you that when i had him as a 17 year old i don't know what people would have said but i stuck by him but i knew that he had promised and i loved him dearly because i knew that he's a nishama that really cared inside but there were layers around him and there were reasons for it today he's the leader of the jewish community a person should always remember the all the children limu de hashem they should be educated and brought up in the torah dosha in the ways of hashem in the ways of deutsche of our holy fathers and forefathers foremothers we also understand that when it comes to an individual being able to look for a shirakh the same thing exists when looking for a shidduch what does the person look for kitsonius oh send me a picture there's a picture in claudius royal did we ever have pictures and claudius real years ago if they would have asked for a picture i'm not sure but because there are so many pictures everybody's taking pictures and more pictures thousands of pictures they'll never see paper they'll never be published believe me it's all on the cameras it's all in the video and no one's printing it out i was walking down fifth avenue fifth avenue and 47th street all of a sudden three guys walk over to me three guys walk over you in the city you gotta think for a moment and one of them says you're rabbi goldwasser i said yes uh could we take a picture with you a picture we wanna i don't want my picture no no we just wanna take a picture okay can one of us take a picture with you we are overly photographed pictures are going around however what is really a person supposed to look for in the shidduch not the outside not the gitzonius the hitsonias can change believe me that hitsonias can change but look into panimus does the person have depth does the person have sensitivity do they have a heart do they do hesed is the individual concerned about claudius royal is the individual mindful of others is the person sensitive do they try and help out the people that are downtrodden do they try to lift them up do they care that's what i'm worried about where's their depth where is their morality where is their ethics do they really care about every mitzvah the torah dosha or are those that are more beheaded sonias the ones that they are more interested in how often a person could be led astray they go out then they come in to me and they say i want you to know she is perfect i never had such an unbelievable time it's unreal however there's one little thing behind us she isn't exactly what i thought that i'm going to be able to marry and you know it bothers me a little bit i would like to ask him and mr prince charming are you the most handsome person in this world of course i won't say it but an individual has to know the pneumos is what a person develops the avo for the pneumos is what's going to hold a person strong for 120 years it's a long necea it's a long travel for everybody throughout life a hundred and twenty years we need the person that is going to provide the stability the person that will be the aisha skyo the individual is that she will stay up at night and guard her house it is the wisdom of the woman the wisdom of the girl that will build the house believe you me it is not the cosmetics that is going to build the house believe me it is not how fancy the person can go around on the street that is going to build the yiddish home we have to know that if a person has someone of quality of depth if a person has somebody that they can say this individual i am proud of the promise of that person that individual is on a higher level and they're going to take me up to a higher level that's when i would say excellent you've got your right choice and so there was a young woman and she told me that she's not going to go out with her person that she's been going out with any longer because there's a little bit of the kitsonius the external that she's not thrilled with i said how's the panemias she said i never met someone who's so genuine i never met someone who gave me compliments genuine compliments i never met someone that i respect his learning he doesn't start off the date without either a divar halacha or devara torah and then speaks about anything i never met somebody like that so i said so why did you come into me well i just wanted to talk with you i said would you like to give me i should give the certification that you should stop you told me such beautiful things about him how could i she said to me where would you meet him i said what would you like me to tell you oh would the rav meet him i said i would be more than happy i worked in the goodison soil and the individual that asked me the question was going to bring the person on that day but she came early so she came inside the office and then right outside there is like a sort of a waiting uh place cordoned off she came in to speak to me before he came about the sheila about the shirakh all of a sudden there was a certain cleaning person a woman that feisty woman that didn't spare any words would say whatever was on her mind all of a sudden while i'm talking to this person answering her shyla the woman bursting the cleaning person rabbi there's some guy outside and believe me he is some good looking man it was the person that she was going out with he comes in indeed what a wonderful man she turned colors she realized that she had made a mistake with someone random from the street had to say this man was a gem she married him she's probably one of the happiest people that i know how careful a person has to be not to make the wrong decision we also have to know that a lot of times when a person will be messiah will interrupt as rashya kurdish says medivh whoever interrupts their torah but i seek video and begins just speaking a general frivolous talk they feed the person glowing coals the reason is because there was receptors there was continuity of rookness of spirituality and they broke the flow and how often a person has to be very careful no matter what we are doing never to allow that great rookness to be interrupted in any way shape or form how careful we always have to be to judge everybody with eyes of spirituality with rookhnia's eyes how beautiful it is that that organization chickens for shabbos they don't take a look at anything in the entire world they want to help anybody crucios among us people that maybe don't have the best standing that sometimes they're forgotten about it shouldn't be that way but let's face it sometimes they are and chicken sushiba says i will not forget i will take care of them. it doesn't matter who they are they are brothers they are sisters in the rebellion the great rebellion that do their work with mesira's nephesh day and night and the morrows the teachers that go and give their all to the talmidas how about their little children do they sometimes have to do with a little bit less chickens for shabbos says no i won't have it i want to make sure that they're covered with dignity and respect they have good food they have clothing that is respectable with an unbelievable organization i just would like to end be messing with you can't ever judge a book by its cover that's really the translation of our mishnah don't judge a book by its cover i was yeshiva i was 17 years old i had one day that it was banastarem and i took my money seven dollars all that i had to the lower east side because i wanted to buy a safer terrace video from the great den of arabia and i went finally i found it in a store and i came over with the safer to the counter and i asked the michael i asked the person i would like to buy the safer and i took out my seven dollars he opened up the safer and he said i'm sorry this safer cost eight dollars he didn't know i didn't have enough he didn't know that i had to save up those seven dollars i felt horrible i came down to the lower east side just to buy that safer and so i realized and i said uh okay thank you i'll put the safer back put the safer back on the shelf i started walking out this might seem crazy but i still remember myself walking out all of a sudden when i opened the door and took a step to leave he calls me back and there was a woman also behind the counter maybe it was his rabbitson and they called me back and they took a safer from underneath the counter and they said this is a safer banaya sastra however it's defective it's damaged the first page starts on page 360. there are double prints inside one page is on top of the other there are a few pages that are completely missing however at a page lamin gimmel it begins 33 it begins and most of the safer is regular from that point on then they showed me the opening of the safer the price that they marked on there seven dollars took out my seven dollars i put it on the counter they gave me the safer they asked me if i needed to have a bag the truth is i wasn't going to leave that safer out of my hands and i took it for years and years it was more precious to me than any safer that i owned because that's safer was a safer that didn't look so nice that's safer safers are safer than others would say ah puzzle it's uh invalid too many double print pages how could you get a safer like that but i got it safer a few years ago a wonderful yeshiva wanted to honor me and i exceeded and when they honored me they told me that they would like to buy me since i had quoted the binaya sashkar a huge new volume of the beneath oscar that just came out leather bound and put my name in gold i told them it is a beautiful idea and i love it but hashem yisbarach gave me a special one and i would not replace it for all the money in the world rabosai i ask you don't judge a book by its cover