Rabbi Dovid Goldwasser - Revealing Secrets of Life Through Pirkei Avos (Part 8)

what a great exclusive is that throughout the entire world we are all united in the study of pierce i would like to thank torah anytime an organization that has omit baruma shalom bringing torah to the masses on virtually every continent where every eden are found may they continue i would also like to thank hazak an organization that has done wonders in bringing cloud israel closer to hashem through their many events through their personal involvement in families bringing children to yeshivas girls to basiaco they are doing the work of meshiach may they continue our share today is on parakalif and it is the sixth mishna and i like to quote yeshua ben prakhya yoshu was the nausea of the sanhedrin he was the head of the israel in the times of jochen kohingodo we learned that when yanaya melech began to pursue the israel he wanted to kill them out reb yoshua ben praki escaped to alexandria there is a phenomenal incident that occurred not such a good incident for claudius royal but as you know one of the talmidim one of the students was yoshika and he went down together to alexandria when the note when the symbol was available that it was time for claudiusel to come back and they started to travel back serb yeshua ben prakhi and all the tamidim they were guests by a certain hostess and there it was that yoshika made a comment that was not appropriate for a ben torra at that moment rabbi yoshua ben prakya distanced himself from yoshika and everybody else did as well later yoshika tried to come back but it was at that moment that rabbi yeshua ben praki was in the middle of davaning so he went like this to yoshika he told him wait wait yoshika thought he was being rebuffed he tried to come another time and yeshua ben prakiya said wait wait in other words wait a moment till i'm finished staavening yoshika mistook it unfortunately he left and from that day on the rest is history it is interesting because in this mishna we learn that they don't as kola damn the kabz a person should judge everybody favorably we can never tell when it is that judging someone unfavorably may have consequences that are catastrophic our mission begins everybody has to make for themselves a rob everybody needs a rebbe an individual cannot be just an independent contractor in this world everyone needs a rep and no matter who they are no matter what they've accomplished no matter what they're learning they need somebody who they can turn to someone that will give them das torah someone that will pascander shyla someone that will be able to be a guide for them a leader for them a light in the gallows everybody needs it doesn't matter who they are how many times people come to me and they don't have a rebbe they don't have a rove and they ask me a question and the question is something berumo shalom that they have to know and it would really really be better if they had somebody that was involved with them someone that knew them that knew their history that knew their ups and their downs and inevitably when i'll ask the question uh by any chance do you have a robe or rebbe no you know uh you know i don't dumb it in one place or another place i go to different schools and i go around and i haven't found my rove the guy's 50 years old and he tells me i still haven't found my rove and that is possible but an individual has to try whatever they can to attach themselves to someone who understands who has torah who knows that will be able to guide them two are better than one don't do it yourselves having a love having a rabbit sin can sometimes save someone from things that i don't even want to talk about interesting i had a call from a young man who told me he would like to come in to discuss his fourth kamikazna the please and so the young man made an appointment and he came to me he said rebbe i know you only from yashiorim i've attended some of yeshurim and i watch many on torah anytime i would like to ask you i don't have a rov would you be misadar kidushin for me and my kala i started to wonder here he's a young man he doesn't have a rebbe doesn't have a rove however he was so sincere and he was so genuine that i decided i can only say yes to him and i told him yes interesting he had the information that i needed him to get in terms of the names the names of his kala the family what to fill out in the tanoim and the ksuba and he didn't call me back and the date of the hasanah was coming soon and i wondered what was going on i didn't have his telephone number i didn't have his information finally he calls me back and he says rov i want to ask you a question what time will you be there i said hussein i don't even have your information i don't even know what your names are what the names of you kyla and her family are he's oh i'm sorry i'm sorry i'll get that to you right away sent us with all the information already i wondered why is it that he didn't get the information to me i went to the wedding on the night of the hasanah i come in the hassan greeted me took me over to the table to the husson's dish and i sat next to him a young man a young husband from israel as i was sitting there i saw that he got a little bit emotional he said rav there's something that i would like to ask you could we please go into the hall where it's private i don't want to do it in front of everybody i started to think to myself i knew i should have asked more questions i knew that i should have filled out a blank to make sure that everything was in order who knows what he's going to tell me i go outside he looks down and he says rav i hate to tell you my father is completely disassociated from with me he has nothing to do with me at all he will not be at this wedding i paid for the entire wedding i worked very hard at a night job just to be able to pay for it it would be my great honor if you would walk me down the aisle because i have no one to march me down the aisle and isn't a rove supposed to be like a father when i heard that my heart was so moved a genuine hussan he does everything himself a wonderful kala a wonderful hassan and he's got to ask me minutes before the chuppah will i walk him down the aisle i want to tell you it is the only time that i ever wished that i was in a roof because that night when people would see me walk down the aisle with him they would all realize that i'm a rov and he had to ask me to walk down with him if i wasn't a roof and i wasn't known they would think it's his father his father's walking him down i took such great pride i walked him down to the chupa and for some reason everybody in the entire hall stood up and clapped miyo deya assaila sometimes you just got to get the rove sometimes you got to get him last minute but get her off i stayed usually i would have left after the first dance i can't stay at every once somehow i tried to stay as long as possible but i would have left right after the first dance and then i thought to myself if you're the father if you're like the father and you walk them down the aisle when does the father leave immediately after the choppa after the first dance you dock out the side entrance or do you remain so i stayed until the last shava bracha that night i said to the hassan and kala i have to leave both the hassan and kala got up from their chairs and insisted on walking me out to the parking lot to the place where my car was parked in my life at maya vasum shana i never got escorted to the parking lot certainly not by the hassan and kala the guests of honor a sailor assailah means that a person has to try and make for themselves a rebbe and it's interesting because the great malbin says what does it mean a salah make for yourself a rebbe make it easy for him try to make it lucrative for him try to make it beautiful for him don't make it on the difficult to know him difficult situation where it's hard for him make sure you have a rob you have a rebbe make sure that they have what they need because that is what the album says is so important in life that an individual knows the right way to be maike rabbanon the right way to try and give honor and to make the idea of the rav an idea that is khashogg make for yourself a rebbe the second thing is you have to be very careful because sometimes an individual doesn't know the halacha but if they pascal it themselves so what happens is they could be wrong even they could get it wrong because they start with the sphara logically it could be like this it could be like that i have to tell you that somebody came in to me one time and they wanted to discuss a certain issue in their family it was a shalom bias wonderful sat down and i spoke to them about the shalom bias when the individual was ready to get up and go out the door on the way out the door they happened to mention to me a certain living arrangement that this individual as they said it to me i realized that they didn't know that what they were doing was in fact an issa diarisa i said could you come back for just a minute i sat down and had an open discussion with the person when the individual found out that it was in issa diariza they turned pale rebbe i never meant to do it how do i do chiva for it what should i do and i understood that a person that doesn't have a rove that doesn't have whom to ask unfortunately could wind up doing a surim that they don't want to do interesting incident happened by the great raphaim of brisk robheim brisker one time gets a knock on the door going oilum rebecca and brisco the basalevi and it was a maid a maid that was in a jewish home a wealthy jewish home and she had a shayla khamura she comes to the great raphael it's before schwarz and she says rabbi i have a very very difficult question for you robheim says yes please please ask she said uh i know that the law is that you have to have cheesecake on shivers cheese blintzes he said yes she said we have no cheese there's no cheese to be bought rebecchym said one minute he took a chair he went up to the highest shelf he pulled out a safer he began to look in it finally came down and said you could use potatoes in the blintzes you could use potatoes she was so happy she went back with the sock from the going recharge brisker and everything was okay a few months later another knock on the door another shyla kamura it's the maid and the maid said rabbi i have a question and i know it's okay i know it's not a problem at all so i'm just coming to ask you but i know it's really it's okay she said okay ask she said that something happened in the kitchen with milkhiggs and fleischick's bosom khalif when rebhaim heard that he knew that the entire kitchen had to be captured everything was not good and he told her what had to be done and that he would speak to the people in the house in order to correct it however he asked her just curious if you didn't think that there was any question about you didn't have a shyla why'd you come and ask me she said rabbi you know you were so nice to me when i came about that important cheeseblind shyla that i felt i just wanted to come and ask you another question a person has to know the importance of having there of finally acquire for yourself a friend canelo cover it's extremely important a good friend is important how many times you tell the children have good friends have good friends it's an important thing it's hard to dictate friends and who will be friends and so forth but a friend is extremely important the kayak of two friends says them as richard magid is stronger than an individual could ever imagine that's gevorah two friends together so it says kennel cover now a teacher why does it say a teacher that a sailor so strictly speaking in the gemara nadarian zion a teacher cannot charge for torah a teacher can charge for torah a person wants to give a share unless they have to travel somewhere or takes out time technically an individual cannot charge for their target they had to stop doing something else in order to teach or whatever it is so they're allowed to get it but technically the torus behind them however what happens a friend a friend is somewhat different a friend is so important even if i have to be kinda a friend i have to try to make an acquisition on my friend i have to try to make it nice for them i have to try to be maisha them even i have to pay a little bit of money it is worth it because that is the importance in having a true friend and as we know rabbi hanina said i learned a lot from my rabbis and from my friends yosemite rabbi sai i learned even more than my great sadiq than my great rabbis umita medai but from my students yosemi coulomb stop zion in the time when it says to my tamidim from i tell me this i learned more than anything i was able to understand them i was able to be challenged by their questions i was able to interact with them and with that i learned even more how important it is that a person should know that they have a tzadik that they have at zadehkus that they have someone that they can look up to and if that person is a friend all the more so how wonderful it is that a person realizes the value of friendship in this world i want you to know that a person came to me and the individual was ready to marry a non-jewish partner a person came in certainly no head covering individual came in dressed like they were ready to go to the beach it doesn't matter every year is a year doesn't matter how they look doesn't matter what they think doesn't matter what they believe they're my brother they're my sister so he comes in to this very room and he sits down and he says i came to talk with you i am marrying someone as he said out of the faith rebbe he said rebbe please don't take this the wrong way i didn't want to come i said to him so why'd you come i'm thrilled that you're here but why did you come he says well you know i have a friend and i have a friend still from yeshiva days believe it or not i was once a yeshiva he told me a couple other things he said you may not believe it but i was this friend stuck with me through thick and thin never deserted me no matter what i did no matter who wouldn't answer my call anymore no matter who didn't want to comment to me no matter who when i would see them on the street would look ahead and pretend as though they didn't see me when i know they did but this friend kept up with me he kept the cashier and when finally i worked up the courage the omits to tell him i was going to marry the girl who i'm going out with for a while he said to me you cannot do that at least there's one thing that i ask you and i never ask you anything go and speak it over with a rabbi i told him my mind is made up it's a faith to complete i really don't want to speak to anybody and no one is going to change my mind the friend said listen i'm your loyal friend i will always be your loyal friend no matter what you do no matter what you go to no matter how you change your life i am there for you but there's only one thing i asked please go and speak to aurov they debated back and forth there were names that came up back and forth and back and forth finally the friend said my name he said i heard that name in fact i heard that name almost every day how do you hear the name every day because we have in our house and minig the custom was when i was growing up that every single day in the morning there was a program a radio program that came on the nachm single program and that nakhum single program that had various people on every day at 7 30 on the dot rabbi david goldwasser would give it to our torah when i thought to myself that guy who said that every single day he didn't speak harshly and he tried to say nice things and things that were sweet in fact i had a few good sichuanus memories about listening so i decided i would go to that guy goldwasser and it is interesting when he came in i told him that not only does nachm siegel have a constant connection to me but zk who is world renowned today for his work in video and streaming and other things has a weekly connection with me and we are close he was so happy to hear it why i don't know but hashem yes barack works in strange ways dark a hashem are hidden from us i began to speak to him i was very moved what a nice guy what a guy that had a feeling feeling for other eden and i began to talk with him and we were talking about everything except for his significant other finally he said to me a rebbe you know i did come here for a reason and i said to him i know i know let's get to it and i begin to spoke speak to him i was able to be pale because i want you to know i began to cry in the middle of talking to him when he saw that i got upset he didn't like that because he thought he's upsetting me i said it's not you it's not you it's the indian when i see somebody like yourself and i know what it would be for you to build a jewish family coming from those that went into the holocaust coming from those that their lives were snuffed out coming from the families in corbin eropa that suffered and killed off a significant portion of claudius royal that i know what every young couple will do what every jewish child will do to try to fill the vacuum to try to make up the numbers to try to replenish what claudius royal once was rebbe what are you asking me i said i beg you for one thing whatever you're going to do in the future i can't say you know this person for a long time but i'm asking you one thing don't confirm it don't make it a valid marriage do not come before a justice of the peace do not have a marriage certificate whatever is happening now is happening now but don't solidify that relationship miodeya who knows what's going to happen in the future but we had talked about plans for a wedding and i said can i ask you a question how old are you he told me the age i said is this something that's been a childhood dream of yours to have the marriage and to go to the justice of the beast and ever no not really so i said so why you need it hold it off continue a lot of couples in the world live like that just continue as you are he agreed to me the friend called me after he left the friend couldn't thank me enough i told him are you kidding me do you know i was the littlest pawn on the chessboard i was so insignificant in all of this hashem had his parents listen to the nakhon siegel program so it played every day hashem had him here goldwasser you happened just by chance to suggest the name and you think i did anything for some reason works in mysterious ways you're only able to see the hand of ash make for yourself and make sure that you get for yourself a good friend how important it is that we understand what it is when an individual has a good friend the influence another thing very interesting i was on the train it was ellen the subway new york subway i don't suggest the new york subway but i'm just telling you masa shahoya what happened i go on i have my razilla malach i have my safer sashmira and i go on anyhow a guy is watching me from across the aisle and i see he's watching me he comes over to me says shalom alain he says are you abdomen goldwasser i said yes and what's your name he tells me his name your meal something or other and i said to him it's a sluice for me to meet you he said when i tell you the truth now during this time i heard that it's very important that a person makes good friends because on the yomadin on the day of judgment sometimes that even though the person themselves might not be zaika if they make a good friend in the friend would be upset if the other guy doesn't have a good judgment if there's not a lot of brokers for that person for the year so in that schools the other person will get so i wanted to make your acquaintance i wanted you should be my friend i said i want to be a very good friend to you please keep the cashier keep the connection because i want to be a person who is a friend to an individual who cares about the amazing cover we can never tell how important it is that a person should be a good friend a friend will be a support it will be someone that an individual can rely on throughout their entire life i would like to just finish off by saying heavy danis a person should always judge everybody la capsucos got to judge them favorably so it's extremely interesting because you take a look at it that even most rabbenu what happened when he took a look at claudia's soil sometimes even monsieur beno was doubting that claudius well could bizarre to have a good din the greatest in the generations all of us have to be careful when we see another yid always judge them favorably always give them the benefit of the doubt because you can never really tell i just will be messian taive priority one is a wonderful organization they invited me to a convention and i was to speak in the convention in the hotel matsuya shabas saturday night there was a guy one of their chevra who was pretty much turned off the yiddish guy wanted to speak to me so i said of course we went into a room there was a stage there was a platform and in order to be private we went on top of the stage the guy was like i don't know how much taller than me he was but he was a giant he started to raise his voice i got a little nervous he started to speak very roughly about his tightness about his arguments his complaints about yiddish guide about this one about that one and i tell you the truth i was waiting for them to call me so i can get out of there and he continued on he raised his eyes sometimes i just said please could you a little quieter he continued they came in rabbit goldwater they're ready for you now you're supposed to speak to the convention so i told him you know i wish we could continue this but i gotta go he said what could i ask you one thing i said yeah sure he said could i have a hug took a look at this guy screaming and yelling and angry i said of course so i hugged him he put his head down on my shoulder and he began to cry i thought to myself heavydoniskola dom la capsuchos all that guy needed was a hug all he needed was a little hiscarvos a little varm kite a little warmth until the yiddish flam the pinta layed could be ignited within him may it be ignited within each and every one