Rabbi David Ashear: Living Emunah 5

good evening i would like to thank the kazakh organization for setting up the shiur and for all the great work that they have been doing constantly i get updates that they have multiple shiurim a night spreading torah to the world and hazako baruch i received an email from someone who was doubting her betachon in hashem and i want to share it with you because many people have the same sentiments she wrote the following i have been working on the chobot for over a year and a half five days a week i spent time hearing about it thinking about it i thought i had it i smile at traffic i see hashem's hand and my blessings i rely on hashem for parking spots and i'm an excellent preacher i thought i was what my husband calls on the baruch hashem program but i had a very very big test this week and even though i've been studying for a year and a half i think i scored a 20. i gave myself 10 points for knowing that hashem runs the world and another 10 points for knowing that once we've picked the best doctor we had done our loot and we never second-guessed him even when the complications arose but i'm so worried i can't find that calm shelter under the rock reliance i thought that i had and i couldn't i can't really rely on hashem because i know i'm scared and i know that being scared means you have a lack of bitarchon and if you don't have beta you don't have that guarantee anymore so now on top of worrying and being scared i'm upset in myself over my failure what a mess i keep telling myself what i've always learned it's hard it's real work but i've always been a great student i pick up things easily and so on top of all my other emotions i have disappointment in myself after all this work this is all i can muster really and i'm feeling very humbled i'm feeling small it's a reality check i can't pass my betachon region even though i have been studying very hard and all of those classes from the rabbi they're not helping my comments are i'm scared i'm worried i can't be happy or thank hashem for the worries i'm trying i know how to talk the talk but i can't walk the walk what's my grade this is the email now first of all i would like to say that as much as people think that they don't have vita phone and they think because they didn't react the greatest way they think they don't have the first point i want to make is because of all her her emon bitarchon she for sure reacted much better to what happened or what's happening than she would have had she not she's getting down on herself because she didn't react the best way but for sure she reacted because of her emuna much better than she would have i'm reminded of a story i heard many years ago there was a rabbi who spent years and years amassing notes from all of his torah learning and he discovered that the printing press came out and he wanted to print all of his notes into books and but it was overseas so he entrusted one of his students to take the notes on a boat and go and print them and make many sifarim in which he'll be able to spread torah for all of time with his hidushim and he told this student be very careful with these notes it's everything my whole life is in them the student was nervous but he followed the rabbi what he wanted he went in the boat and lo and behold there was a storm at sea and everything was going overboard and miraculously the boy was saved but the notes were gone and when he got back he told his friends what happened they said oh no the rabbi is gonna who knows what's good his whole life is there what are we going to do so someone said i have an idea no the rabbi always teaches us about let's let's open the discussion the next day in class someone raised his hand and he said rebbe you taught us everything hashem does is for the best but what if this and this happens how could i say that's for the best it's very bad and they gave him an example and the rebbe said what are you talking about everything hashem does is for the best there's no no exceptions someone else raises sam says but rebbe but what if that happens the rebbe said so what everything's mean it's for the best a third student raised his hand but rebbe what this and the rebbe again everything is good it's me and finally a fourth student says rebbe your notes they got sunk at sea they're gone and the rebbe fainted and they say ah i guess it didn't work and the rebbe woke up and they said rebbe we're sorry i guess we tried to help when we told you we told you when you spoke about how much hashem does everything this didn't work the rebbe said are you kidding me all i did was faint if you didn't do that who knows what would have happened which means the reaction whatever it was was much better than had it would have been if you didn't have the emunah but i want to say something further to reply to this letter that could be a source of strength to many people someone that i know well he called me about a month ago and he told me he's confronted with the biggest challenges of his life he was diagnosed with the mahala and he was crying on the phone and he said also i thought i had a muna i thought i was ready for anything that life had to throw at me i'm working i'ma and he says i'm falling apart i don't have any emunah i'm scared i'm crying i don't know what the future holds i can't i can't and he said besides for this terrible news he said i'm also so upset at myself that how come i'm not having a muna and i told this man i said if you didn't react like the greatest rabbis of all time because we do we hear stories about the greatest heroes i said that doesn't mean that you don't have a lot of emunah we're not expected to have that initial reaction like like but i told him emunah is inside of you all your inside of you and it's going to come out it's going to come out and you're going to be able to get through this only because of your muna don't feel bad now that your first reaction wasn't the greatest reaction this man we spoke for a while he took the mossad and he called me back three weeks later and he said i'm strong as ever my mona has never been greater than it is today he said don't get me wrong i have my ups and downs but he said you were right it all came out one was like a slow reacting pill but as the days progressed my emunah was growing and growing and now it all came out of me he said but i went through a very big challenge another challenge and he said if it wasn't for emo i don't know where i would be he said he thought they thought that the diagnosis was for a certain form of the disease of the sickness and he did all his research and he went to the top specialist in the country or one of the top specialists to to to treat it and this specialist he he took testing any this and that and then they made an operation to remove it but after it the specialist the top doctor he said we made a mistake i misdiagnosed the the sickness is really in a different part we got this one but this other one and he said i've never been wrong like this in my whole career but i'm totally wrong you're gonna have to go to a different doctor a different specialist whole new set of tests and start again the man said after everything we put in and to hear that news it was devastating he says but i said okay we'll start again and he started making phone calls and this one and that one he says everyone i call they're asking for my information and you have to tell me again he said i was getting overwhelmed i said i don't have the strength of this right now i can't sit on the phone every day and hang on every word that every doctor says and every special every this and every that it's too much so he says i told my wife i said please do me a favor today you make the phone calls i need to talk to hashem i need a day off i'm going to the shul i'm going to take a claw a private room and sit in the shul and talk to hashem and he said i sat there for hours and i spoke out my worries and my concerns and i cried and i prayed and i told hashem you're showing me so clearly that you run the world nobody knows anything not even the greatest doctors they don't know anything you're teaching me the most valuable lesson that this is totally out of everyone's hands it's only yours and i'm going to do my best to make the you want me to make but the certain mental ability to be able to to to care about every word and every ascendant every doc he says i can't do that i shall i'm giving that to you i'm putting it in your hands i know you're in charge anyway i'm going to do my regular but i can't be thinking about this day and night i'm giving that part to you and he said i felt so good i came out of the shul that day i was with hashem and he said my mona is coming out it's coming out and bezrat hashem he's going to have a complete refuge he's going to get through with them but what's going to do it he has to know and everyone has to know and this lady has to know that even if we didn't react on the first second like the greatest sadikim that doesn't mean you don't have a tremendous amount of some people are able to accept and after maybe an hour of the initial shock some people maybe after a day some people after a couple of weeks some people after a month everyone's different depending on the level of but it will be the emunah that they have learned for whether it's an hour a year and a half or whether it's 10 years that will give them the strength that they need to connect to hashem during the tough time you work on emunah for a year and a half that's great levenstein once said he said the distance from the brain to the heart is about 50 centimeters but to get an idea from the brain to penetrate the heart to feel it in the heart might take 50 years every little growth in emonah is worth a tremendous amount but it takes time because emunah is the principles everyone knows emunah hashem does everything for the best he's great he's the only one in charge everyone knows that but to actually feel it in your heart that's where the work is that's where it has to penetrate but for sure everything you have gained will contribute to that feeling and it'll come out slowly it's not all or nothing it takes time but it will be that and i want to tell this person you didn't get a 20 on your test right now at this point you're probably in the 90s after the time was able to elapse and things settled and your emunah is coming out this is what life's about to be able to stay close to hashem to stay strong believing that everything he's doing is for the best believing that he knows what's best for us and this is what hashem praises so much for people to trust him for people to come and pray them and trust them and not complain and not be worried and anxious and i can't sleep at night and i don't know what's going to be we read in the parasha this past week a praise of the jewish people the psukem praised the jews for being able to for for being able to follow the cloud in the midbar it says when the cloud rested on top of the mishkan when it was at rest to jewish people in camp they stayed put and when the cloud got up to go the jewish people traveled now if the torah would have just said that one pasuk seemingly it would have sufficed the jews followed hashem but if you look at the pisukeem each pasuk again and again repeating the same idea with an elaboration it seems redundant what is the torah is teaching us here it says and sometimes the cloud was on top of the mishkan yamim rabim for many days but the jewish people followed they stayed camped sometimes the cloud was on top of the mishkan just for a night and a day but they stayed camped until that it was time to when it got up when the cloud started to move they left and sometimes it was there for just a day sometimes it was there for two days sometimes it was there for a week sometimes for a month and again and again and again they followed hashem they listened to the cloud whatever the cloud said to do again you'll read five six seven pisokim the mifashima bothered i heard a beautiful idea from rabbi elimelech biedermann he was quoting rav shimshon rifa el-hirsch regarding one aspect he says of course the jews were eager to get to eretz israel and it's hard staying put in one place when you're eager to go somewhere but they said if this is what hashem wants this is what hashem wants but the rabbi explained he said there was a much bigger test over here what was the test he said every time the jewish people had to travel they had to dismantle the entire mishkan and load it onto the wagon and then go into travel formation according to the urushami there's the look at how they traveled but some say they didn't travel the way they were in camp they had to travel differently they went in a straight line and they had to get into the travel formation and and pick up all their belongings and their children and start going and then when they finally settled okay we're resting here they unpacked they took apart the mishkan they reassembled the mishkan and then they were in cam they set up the shalosh mahanov and then at that point they didn't know how long are we going to be here are we going to be here for one night are we going to be here for a day for two days for a year they had no idea how unsettling is that should i unpack shouldn't i unpack the pursuit is testifying that the jewish people when it came time to camp they encamped they unpacked everything they set up the camp even though they might be leaving in a day how were they able to do that i'll pee hashem because they said what difference is it what we're doing in an hour from now at this moment this is where hashem wants us to be he wants us to be encamped now that's our avodah hashem for the moment what difference does it make what's going to happen later when tomorrow comes we'll do that son hashem them they were able to be mahnia themselves to subjugate themselves to the will of hashem and that's the greatest praise to say whatever hashem wants you want me here now i don't know how long you want me here but if you want me here now that's where i'm going to be and i'm going to do it because it's yoratson the rabbi said he was asking someone i know your daughter is getting married when's the wedding the man said imyet said hashem next wednesday he says rabbi normally when i say him yet hashem i don't really mean it but now i really do if it's the will of hashem wednesday because during today's times we don't know what could happen from one day to the next i don't know if the wedding is going to go off wednesday i hope it will if it's the will of hashem that's the times that we're living in now what's going to be tomorrow i don't know there's a lot of uncertainty but if a person could say what difference what what difference does it make what's going to be tomorrow right now hashem wants me here the circumstances that i'm in right now there was some difficult news when the governor announced there's no sleep away camps people they depend on for entire year from the sleep away camp what's going to be now how am i going to pay my bill what's going to or parents what's going to be with my children the reaction is today hashem this is what you want whatever comes down is what you want we're going to make the best of it because we're doing yoda son we're doing yoda son by living the lives that you want us to live people say it's just the uncertainty about the future that hurts so much so difficult if i would just know if you have someone they're in shidduchim they don't know when they're going to get married i don't know when it's going to happen just tell me when if it's in a year two years i'll be able to handle i just want to know when this is the praise of the jewish people they don't know when they're leaving they don't know when but right now you want me to live like this right now i'm going to be settled i'm going to set up my camp i'm going to be calm and cool because this is where you want me now hashem this is so important this is what hashem is bragging about look what the jews did they were able to encamp with calm and collectively because that was my rat-son for them they were able to subjugate their will to me that's the greatest praise and in one way or another we all have that nisai on all the time any time life throws something at us we weren't expecting it we could subjugate hashem if this is what you want this is what i'll do especially when it comes to areas that are so important to us whether it's a livelihood whether it's having children whether it's getting married you know when the jews they didn't know how they were gonna live in the desert they don't know how they're gonna survive but they followed hashem and they said hashem you want us to go we're gonna go hashem says i'll never forget that kindness you did for me where you trusted me and you followed me into the desert trusting that i'm going to support you when someone has an isaiah of money they don't know what's going to be tomorrow and they say why should i why should i stay up at night worrying hashem i'm in your hands i'm doing what i could do i can't do more i'm making my hashtag the rest is up to you i'm going to go to sleep settled and come because i'm living the life you want me to live and this is my purpose to endure this to go through it with emunah this is what could make people great but people ask you know i've been so throat been through so many challenges didn't i show my mona already another one how about another one i can't anymore it's too much didn't we have this you know first we had the challenges of the stores being closed and for so long and then the the riots come and they have to now loot the stores and i lose my merchandise also isn't it enough already how many how many hits could i take we read in the parasha parashat why did the torah juxtapose the naseem to the minora because he felt bad he saw the nisaim bringing the quran of the inauguration and he wasn't a part of it he felt bad hashem told them don't worry i'm going to give you something else i'm going to give you the menorah it's going to be greater the ramban asked why did aharon feel bad aharon you know how many korbanor he brought during those days aharon brings many quarterbacks he didn't bring that one he brought so many other korbanot aharon is involved all day long in bringing shalom shalom shalom he's the kohen gadol so you saw one thing that you're not involved in you feel bad and rabieska levenstein said we see from here great people no there's never enough no matter how much i do i want more i want more what are we living for give me another chance i want another moshe who was greater than him he was in shamayim for 40 days and 40 nights like an angel he did everything when hashem told him you're not going into eretz israel that you're going to be missing out on a couple of things moshe is crying 515 please give me the opportunity why do you want to go into israel a few more mitzvot you're shalem you're complete you did everything you know everything what is he missing i don't want to miss anything not even one i want another mitzvah the way it works usually is the people who are not doing everything they say i'm doing a lot i'm good i'm good i'm okay i'm doing my job i'm doing well but the people who are doing everything they know the truth i'm not doing enough i want more hashem i don't felt bad i need another corban please give me more the people who are in pesach we don't ask for them we don't know how we're going to pass but if they ever come we have to say it's another opportunity hashem you're giving me another opportunity they pass and we go on to the next cycle of life and the next cycle but we never want to look back and say oh i feel bad i didn't react the way i should have i didn't act the way i should have i was complaining too much because every opportunity is a diamond to be able to do it on top of another one and another challenge and another challenge and you still that's amazing it's an opportunity and great people never push away opportunities hashem if you want me to have another one i'll do it this is the greatness of a person being able to persevere in the most difficult of times and every deed that we do is cherished by hashem whether it's a deed in emunah whatever it is hashem loves our deeds so much he cherishes every one of them and he's nothing you do goes unnoticed even an extra thought in your mind one one little teeny bit of emunah it registers greatly in shamayim wow look i felt hashem felt your heart a little better that goes a long way nothing goes unnoticed and when we're faced with the nisayan we have to be thinking hashem is watching hashem he's monitoring my every move he wants to know what's going through my heart what's going through my brain someone called me on friday he said he had a nissan he was so excited to tell me about how he dealt with his nisayon he said the following he said that he's trying to make money now difficult his business is closed he has something online also and he sells a lot of different closeouts one of the things that he sells is some type of hospital gown i don't know a gown for something and he made a deal with someone they're going to give him three dollars a gallon that was the deal he said he agreed to the terms on the phone or by email and till he shipped it to them until they paid was going to be a while anyway the next day someone else calls him and says you have gowns he says yeah i have gowns he says i want them all he says oh i sold them already you sold them how much did you sell them for three dollars a gown what three dollars i'll give you 475 right now wow 475 that'll make my profit go up much more by tens of thousands of dollars he says well i really need the money this is tough times why should i lose out 475 versus three let me tell the other man i can't do it he calls back the first man and he happens to be a jew and he tells him look everyone you know how tough things are right now everyone's trying to struggling i really need the money someone else is willing to give me 475 for the gowns i have to give it to him i'm sorry he says what we have a deal you told me yes you told me yesterday we have a deal he says yeah but you know we didn't ship them to you yet you didn't pay me yet it was just an oral deal you have to you have to understand the times are tough please forgive me i'm sorry i have to give it to him the man was very unhappy he hung up the phone he's thinking to himself i don't feel right about this i know i need the money but i don't feel right i did tell him first how could i do that it's not honest but then he said what should i do i need him he consulted with someone someone told them listen why don't you call back this man and tell him let's make a deal three dollars is a little low 475 is high let's meet somewhere in the middle at least you'll get something more out of him he said that's a good idea i feel good about that he calls the man back he says okay you're right the deal was with you but at least meet me somewhere in the middle don't make me lose all this profit and they negotiated and they came out this man's gonna give him 385 per gallon he says i took it 385 per gallon i felt okay at least he's happy i'm happy then he says i'm ready to go through with it he says then i'm thinking about he says his father just passed away about a month ago he said my father was so honest his word was his word my father is in charmaine right now he's next to hashem i'm a product of my father how could i let him down like this now and not be a man of my word a few dollars going to get in the way of my word i told this man three dollars again now i'm charging him 385 because someone gave me more he said i felt there's going to be no blessing in this i felt i'm letting hashem down i'm letting my father he said i called back this man and i told him i'm sorry for the hassle i told you three dollars a gown you're right my word is my word i don't want a penny more three dollars is three dollars and that's it and he said i felt great i felt like i overcame the nissan i was being tested and i gave it to him for three dollars again the man told me you're a mensch you're exactly that's the way you're supposed to be you're exemplifying the jewish people the way they should be and he praised him and he said i felt great he said the difference between three to cost me about twelve thousand dollars in profit he said although i needed the money it was okay i did the right thing he said within the next week this man who we gave the gowns to for three dollars was so impressed with him he started making new orders with him orders he never would have made and he made one order another order three big orders that he made eighty five thousand dollars on money he would not have made but because of his honesty this man says i want to do business with you you're an honest man i can trust you we don't always see immediate rewards to our good deeds but we could rest assured that hashem is proud he's seeing the nisayan he knows how hard it is sometimes he'll give us rewards of course all the rewards are in the next world is not s we get dividends in this world for mitzvoth hashem gives us dividends the real reward is in the next world sometimes he gives us the dividends now sometimes in a month sometimes in a year we don't always put things together someone says i was honest once and i never got the deal hashem doesn't always show himself so openly it could be that six years later when there was a question if you're going to make money or not hashem gave it to you because of your honesty then you didn't put the two together but hashem keeps born of every nisayon every test that you go through is handpicked by hashem for your best and if you overcome it you're doing your job in this world that's what we're here for what else is this world for other than to do our takli and there's no one who knows your job like hashem every circumstance he puts you in is your job pass the current test nothing else you have to do oh if i had a navi telling me this is what hashem wanted i would you don't need a navi wherever hashem puts you is what he wants from you in this situation right now what you are going through let me see you overcome it let me see you do the right thing some people they set it off my life would have been different i could have done more i could have given more i wish i could give more siddhaka i wish i could do this i wish i could do that but well i don't have anything to give very clearly he says we are given one job in this world called free will free will has to do with one thing your choice between good and bad everything else is set up by hashem he says but when it comes to your choice between good and bad there's three parts part one is your desire i want to do this i want to be someone who knows kola torakula i want it that's part one that part is your choice do you want to know the whole torah do you want to give siddha that's a choice you make in your heart that's a free will to make that choice and it's equal for everyone i don't care if you're a genius if you're not a genius whatever the desire in your heart is equal for everyone i might be i might not be capable of knowing but i want it and he says hashem pays you full credit for part one of a desire i want that don't say oh what's the point of desiring something good if i can't do it anyway because hashem pays you for your atson you want it i want to be that person who wakes up early and learns and goes this and does so much hassadim i'm not ready yet it's my life is too hard now but i want it you get credit for part one part two is your effort in trying to accomplish it you make a plan you know i can't give all this siddha but i could try to raise it i want to call a few people maybe they'll give me the money to raise for this organization you made the effort you made a plan and you committed to go through with it you got full credit for part two of the mitzvah you wanted and you tried you put in some type of ishtadlu to do it he says all people are equal on parts one and two you can get credit from its vote that you're not capable of as long as you wanted and you tried three actually bringing the mitzvah to fruition actually accomplishing he says has nothing to do with you that's beyond your control if hashem wants it to come into being it's going to come into being and if he doesn't want it it's not going to come into being hashem does a question for you even though it's not up to you but if you if it does get accomplished he gives you full credit for that also hashem gives you kindness even though he's fully in charge of part three i want to go to shul i try to go to are you gonna get there it's nothing to do with you the car has to work the clock the alarm has to wake you up if you got there hashem is going to give you full credit but if you didn't get there but you made the effort and you wanted it you also got a lot of credit for the first two parts everyone could be great regardless of what you were given because the final parts is not up to you it's a gift from hashem you got the gift you didn't get the gift but what's in your control everyone is equal no matter what you were given no matter what your talents are everyone is the same and you can be a godol in your mind in your desires i'm sorry and in your and to know that hashem is involved in everything you do even in our good deeds where we say we have part 3 what actually gets done is beyond us and hashem is so involved deciding let's say someone makes a plan i'm going to go visit this person hashem's deciding who you're going to visit if the visit's going to work i know i'm going to visit him oh yeah you're so sure you got there you're not aladdin oh let me try someone else that's all hashem who you ended up visiting that's hashem who you ended up doing that's not in your control you could try i want to go visit this one if it works but hashem is orchestrating events giving the people who he who he knows needs the visits they're the ones getting it the ones who he knows needs this they're the ones getting it you could attempt to give a donation it went to the wrong place hashem is putting it in the place where it's needed i want to conclude i want to tell you a phenomenal story that shows how much hashem is involved in everything we do even our khasadim there's a woman in israel we'll call her but she's a she's a we'll call her esther this woman in israel she lives in yuru shalayim unfortunately her husband left her i think he's sent to get but she has a hard life she's alone raising a lot of little children and she has a friend in another part of israel maybe bed shemesh i don't know where and her friend wants desperately to help her she wants to give her she wants to give her whatever she could because she knows how hard it is for her friend so occasionally she'll write her long letters of she'll send food she'll send gifts one year it was the time of shabo and her husband was going to be in yerushalayim on that morning the morning of shavuot and she said to her to him i want you to drop off and you do in and at this at esther's house i want you to drop off a cheesecake that i'm going to make and a long letter of jesus because i know how difficult it is on the holiday to be alone without a husband and all the children and she meant to make a delicious cheesecake and write a long letter but so many things came up this problem that this issue that is she got so busy she never got a chance to do either she didn't make the cheesecake she didn't make she didn't write the letter her husband's leaving in the morning she tells them okay plan b i want you to go to a store and yerushalayim a bakery and i want you to buy her a chocolate rosemary not sure exactly what type of chocolate cake that is some type of chocolate cake and i want you to write on top tell them to write on top because i didn't write a letter to her right as if to say you know mommies also deserve things sometimes all you're doing is giving your children and giving them i know you put everything into your children but mommies also deserve some gifts sometimes that was her message to her and that was the instructions she gave to her husband so her husband goes to you shalom he's there he sees the bakery he's going to buy the cake no no my wife said chocolate only what's the difference chocolate not chocolate let me just get any cake no they didn't have chocolate there he goes to another one the chocolate cake he got her the chocolate cake he told them to write on top the words and he dropped it off at the door one of the children answered he gave him the cake and he left five minutes later his wife calls them in tears practically we you don't know the question you just did by giving her that cake what we gave her the k he says you don't know what it meant to her listen to what happened she couldn't even get the words out she said she called me up esther called me and said you're not going to believe what just happened ten minutes before her ex-husband sent cakes to every one of her children as a holiday present chocolate cake to every child and i didn't get one but my children got one and my little son comes over me and says ima huck up you didn't get a chocolate cake where's your chocolate cake we all got chocolate cakes what am i gonna tell my son how could i tell him she said you know what i told him i said who determines whether you get a chocolate cake is hashem hashem decides who needs a chocolate cake who doesn't need a chocolate cake and whoever he wants to have the chocolate cake that's who gets he wanted you to have a chocolate cake if he wants me to have a chocolate cake he'll send me a chocolate cake and 10 minutes later you knock at the door and you dropped off a chocolate cake and it said on top mommy also gets one she felt so overjoyed that hashem sent her the chocolate cake it's a small gesture a chocolate cake it's not going to change anyone's life but the message to see hashem's involvement to see why did she think to tell her to send the chocolate cake her husband drink a chocolate cake that was all hashem at that moment to send the chocolate egg with those words instead of the letter that's all hashem hashem is involved in everything we do to recognize that and to know he's with us and whatever he wants from me now that's what i'm going to do you put me here now i'm going to feel settled tomorrow's a different day but this is what you want from me now every opportunity is gold for some people the nissionora so much stronger than others it's so much more difficult they say for me everybody else is easy for them you know what i go through [Music] yeah but one minute of yoni sayon is worth thousands of hours of others you could become one of the greats of the generation with your nisyono yes they're harder but the opportunity for growth is that much greater and your nishama soars every time you overcome even a little bit to have a little more emunah if we can rise to these occasions if we could know that we do have so much ammonia inside of us don't feel bad if on the first minute you didn't react the greatest reaction it's the yetzer haras ploys to get you depressed because once you're depressed then he got you be upbeat okay i didn't react initially i have a little work to go but is going to come out and every minute of it is precious and every deed we do is precious we'll use all the emunah that we have we'll be able to grow the way hashem wants us to grow will connect to him and we will all fulfill our tahlit in this world that hashem knows for us by putting us in every circumstance we'll do the best we can we will greet the mashiach very soon amen if anyone would like to have a daily message of khizuk sent to you through an email audio and written you can subscribe at livingemuna.com livingmunawithanh.com good evening