His Perception; Your Reality

I I took I was that my car went to a bris yash his mama his family's parents made a made a breast for y so I was I Ubered to yeshifa and the Uber driver was like a fine guy and he told me he's relatively new to waterberry and he said I have two daughters and I look around at our city and I'm concerned. I see people struggling. I see a lot of drugs and I want to ask you, what can I do to make our city better? So he tells me, what can I do? What can I do to make our city better? He said, I'm not silly. Said I only could do 2%. He said 2%, maybe 1%. But he said, I want to do something. He said, "Last night I looked up the name of the chief of police, the mayor. I want to see like who here." He said, "I want to go to a meeting. Is there any citizen to gather who I could think what I could do better for my city? >> What?" >> I was so touched. He said, "I used to live in Bridgeport, AI, and there I saw Avi said, in Bridgeport I saw improvement and in Waterberry, I want to see improvements." He said, "I'm raising two daughters. I want to see improvement in the city. >> I was like very very touched at that. I was touched at that. Like I felt like ash a guy who's thinking how to make things better around him. How to make it nicer and better. I thought it was like so in sync with the with the sash. We're allowed to ask how can I make things better. There's >> there's a lot of um there's a lot of talk in the and certainly a person has to find themselves for sure >> but we're really here we come from and that question how can I make things better for others is part this does something called ask how can I make things better for others it's a very natural question it's a very comfortable. This guy was so not a force. Chill, Larry. He was like a comfortable guy. Very I was like so moved. How could I knew? Well, we started like talking the the way we spent I really I brought a safer. I planned on learning. I had a few phone calls I had to make. I had some things I wanted to learn. I had a safer with me. But he was a this this a guy a wonderful guy asked how can we make new how can we make waterberry better? I was like so moved. He's raising his daughters in a city. No new. How can we make the city better? >> So kids are being an Uber driver. >> That's what I'm talking. >> Isn't that touching though? You want to know how? Nope. He was like so serious about it. This wonderful guy. How can we make the city better? Nope. Nope. What can we do to make the city better? I just like that we're capable of thinking big. We're come from how we making the world better. How are we making our city better? We're allowed to ask not just a lad. When ask that's a natural that's a healthy question. It's a very very healthy question. It was like >> what you do >> later on it came up. Later on it came up it like came up later he right away right away he said it was like on his mind very like just but new what are we doing to make waterberry better it's a good question but I want to express that we're allowed to ask these question new we're allowed to think big we're allowed to think it's not not just not a force chill we're designed we're designed the doing is not I agree with guys are responding to doing to prove your worth and people could do things in unhealthy ways. Not from a place I'm good, not it could be like compensation and then people are doing you're doing too much. That's a line I hear from kids today and I know where they're coming from. I don't have to prove my medal and do and you're good. No, we're good. We're and we have but let's engage. New what are you doing to make Waterberry better? I liked it. I like the question. I like the challenge. I like we come from Abrainu who like cared about this world and was like there's a whole piece from about like being a bum on the world. I I sat in an Uber from a guy who was thinking new what are we doing to make Waterberry better? But he he Ari wanted an answer from me. I was like what are we doing to make but it's a good question. We we we like spoke honestly. What do you think we could do? We're like spoken. What could we do? What could one what could one do to make it better? I was like telling him that I I what I told him I live in like a little community. I have a I have my own little shoo my own little I said we have a group. He said I admire your group a lot. I see you guys care about each other. >> I admire your group a lot. He said he visits Williamsburg once a year. He's a restaurant he likes there. He said, "I see those guys with the the things on the side." He said, "They care about each other." >> No way. >> But he wanted to know what what could we do to make what I wanted to share this with the that we're capable of like making things better around us. It's not it's a good thing to make things better for others. We come from we're designed that way. I don't want guys to see that. It's true. people ignore and a lot of like the revolution a lot of guys are at spaces of like figuring out my own and it's true sometimes I could fix him and ignore me they're all places we need to examine no how can I make it better for him to make things better for the next person to make it better I could think big and think like that that's I wanted a I wanted to share this with he [snorts] I'm coming I I'm coming very very sweaty and drained. I was this morning to be busy building a suka. I spent the morning building the suka. It was exhausting and physically tiring and draining but such a beautiful thing to be busy to be busy building the suka. The typical minus is mighty kipper. That's what claw do right after kipper. So I want to express what I do. You're supposed to build your suker right after kipper. It gets busy with mitzvah and you're supposed to build your suka. So what I try to do, what I did today is I built the whole suk, but it's not called a suk yet. Al is called it's not a kasher yet. It has no >> this way. Might seem kipper then might seem kipper. Y' wants to be busy building a suka. You put on your That's the task. [applause] I might see him. Nice to see my face. But um >> that's the that's the you build your suka and then might I was I this morning I was on my mind on my mind was might say yum kipper was mighty kipper because I was thinking this morning okay you'll build a s you'll leave the stock so I want to read to you I want to read to you in a safer I saw an account of the baritch of her might kipper and I want to read it to the kvra I found it inspiring. Now don't get I'm asking sometimes you hear big sadik like okay we're not to this I'm just getting inspired by the but I first want to welcome [applause and cheering] I want to I want to say something I want to say about his father his father was a rebi in the massa the first year that I was to be involved in the massa his father was a rebi in the massifa And I want to express that his father is a person who's a sadic last night punct I was learning with my son nightser and your father was learning with his son but your brother night is sitt >> Danielle a fellow a fellow another two Daniels were at the same table but I just want to express he's a we things are put in the yeshiva his father put a lot of sidkas into this yeshiva as far as an saddic is a really really special person. So yeah, yeah, absolutely. >> So just good Ellie Misha, it's good to have you back home. Welcome back home. [applause] >> I want to I want to read an account diary. I got from it. I want to read to you an account of the baritch for mighty Kipper. There's no I'm not putting taking the the reason this morning I was thinking about might kipper because I was doing the suk and thinking that I'll do this kipper listen to this account it it's they say here that the raadesh from kettz used to say this story he would say over this mis every single year and he would quote the kadesh from tans the sons of who was and he would say the following story. He said that the Yeshua Yankeev when he was young lived he lived by he was he was sitting and learning the Yeshua Yankeev before he became a RV and he was he lived by his by his mother-in-law. Yeshua Yanke lived by his mother-in-law in the city of Yarislav. So the Yeshua's Jacob was sitting, he was in Kyle and his mother-in-law would support him. He was staying by his mother-in-law. Him and his wife were by his mother-in-law in the city of Yarislav. He said one time the whole city shows up in Yarislav. You hear the story? It's they show up for and they see there's a Yehudi they don't recognize. He had a hajim. had a beautiful face mim and he's ding in it was like a shock they whoever the normal bil this year the people in yarislav come to the shul and there's like a beautiful and he said with his with incredible energy he said and the said kra with him so he dav so nicely ly they asked him also. said and they saw was a holy man and then they liked because of his he says because of his holiness and his incredible energy and he was like very a year of there was an aim of the s the whole was like shaking. There was something about the energized the whole sazin makes a big difference. Anybody who was here saw yakov bladder and and like energized yakov bladder is here from early in the morning. He comes five six I don't know what time he's here very I don't want to he comes very and somebody's here to watch him dab and then to like you see the makes a very big difference and this in the city of Yarislav was dabing with such a slavus the whole sra was like on fire I was by my many years he like lifted up the whole sra his the energy the chaos the seriousness the the royalty. It was like an uplift to the old sea. So this sadic in the city of Yarislav is dabing. They don't know who he is. And they're all like, whoa. He said, listen what happened. Whoever was sitting, Aaron, I'm so happy you're home. Thank you for being Aaron. [applause] Whoever was sitting, listen to this, Arie. Whoever was sitting in the misra, you know, there's the big kashu on the misra vant. There's the the hatch who was sitting in front of the thing. Whoever was sitting there left their spot like they felt like not worthy to sit in the mis in front of this. People are looking at him. He's on fire. The misra vant emptied out except for the Yeshua yakov. Yeshua stayed in the muk because they were afraid to look at his face. His face was on fire. They were like nervous. They went to the back. They left the from after people went home. The sh emptied out finished. I went home. When they came in the morning, they saw he was still standing in the same spot that Saddak he didn't leave. And people testified, people who slept in the B medish that he didn't move from his spat the whole night. Wherever he was davening, he didn't move the whole night. Famously fue stood the whole and didn't sit down even through the night. >> Reportedly, even through the night, this sadic in the city of Yaris, you hear in the energy, he davis visiting saddic. He ds kra. He ds the m and then he stays for the >> and then he stays by the um the entire night. Didn't move. People who slept in the base med said he was standing the whole night. >> He stood there until the morning. So then they said he dabed such fire they put him up and you know who the was >> it was the was the it was the it was the no the confus after Sh everything after he remember he had been up the whole night. So everybody wanted him to break the fast by then. Remember he was a guest in Yarislav. So everybody wanted to break the fast. They decided that it turned out he had come to Yarislav. He was raising money for some cause. So they decided they'll put it up to bidding. Whoever bids the highest to the staka that the baritra is raising will get to have him. We'll all bid and whoever promises the most money gets to host the baritra might seem kipper. So they started having a bidding and people going hi hi h high high. The mother-in-law of the Yeshua Yakov was sitting in the Ezra Nashim. She's watching the bidding. She had some ornament that was very expensive was full of jewels. She was a wealthy woman apparently. She had some ornament she was wearing. She threw it down from the nashim for that was her bid and like ended the bidding. It was like very expensive. She throws the seed is like comical from the nashim. She throws this expensive ornament and like the bidding ended like nobody could out bid that >> orange team >> and it lands in the base medish and she's giving that's her bid. So all the bidding stopped because it was like very expensive. They must have like seen it had jewels and pearls on it. It's like okay it flies. I picture this feels like I would look ifi was up there but like flies down from as this fancy ornament. So the she won the bard. She won. So the bard goes with the Yeshua's yanke. He goes with the Yeshua's yanke goes with the bard to the m the mother-in-law's house. They made he makes habdullah. The bardicha makes alien. So he broke his fast. He had a gl he had a cup of wine. He made abdullah. Then she had on the table. She had madam delicacies, wonderful foods. But the bar said, I'll be honest. He said, I need something that's mash of my doesn't do it for me. She had like all these delicacies. He said, could you give me something that's mash of my I need and satisfies my heart. That's not really what I'm looking for now. I'm not like looking. That's not what I'm about right now. So the Yeshua's Jacob understood and brought him a Garuma and the Bard sat and learned and in the morning he made a seam on the entire >> after going through Yamiper. He wanted to learn after remember he had been up the whole night the night before. He learned the whole night and that that's this miser that he says about now obviously obviously you're talking about a very very big person I wanted to express I wanted in our in our own on our we're holding each of us his own person the value of miam kipper maybe maybe putting up a little for your suka maybe banging a few nails. Some people go and buy their dal minimum on mighty kipper there such a but this might kiper ya busy with mitzvah the grow would learn muk kipper because that was his to build the suk I got to learn the first he would learn the suk there are different is but to be busy with some mitzvah to go from and transition with mitzvah It calls the tour brings the medish that is the yidden are busy with mitzvah after is of mitzvah is doing mitzvah and to be busy with mitzvah. I wanted to tell the about this. I wanted to give over the scene of the mighty mighty where he makes and then they want to give him food and he he needs a but the the mighter I wanted to share with the it's what I was thinking about this morning because I'm think that I'm going to do this on my kipper. It's a very very thing to go. Minis the minhogam of cla are very very precious and this is a custom of cla that might say might kipper yen go and they're um you didn't go and they and they um >> and they build the suk that's that's what I wanted to I wanted to share this min and there are many stories of sadikim many stories miam kipper being busy with big with big in Yanim the picture the miter learning learning the whole night I wanted to share with the >> garislav >> yarislov was the story happened there with the yeshua yank I wanted to mention as well that to take to take seriously and people instead of like mocking yen and and and like it's easy to like tease the mig and the fancy thing is to tease the mig that y didn't ask from each other. Now certainly somebody could say it sound guys have asked me what does that mean you know and and I'm not talking about doing something lightly I'm talking about we're a beautiful people that the ministro is before yam kiper people ask each other they ask a beautiful yam kipper is described as a day of great unity we describe in our prayer it's a day of great unity and the beautiful that are that y come together. Now of course because and the Mishna says Hashem's we have to ask from each other but it's a beautiful beautiful that people ask that they work out their differences and they ask is a beautiful beautiful minute not to be mocked not to be made fun of not to that's a big thing you didn't ask from each other I think it's like it's almost like in vogue to mock the minus I think it's a beautiful thing I wanted to describe something about asking ma to the ari that I've discovered over the years I want to gish and azie I want to share something yet I'm curious what you think and I want to talk about the s of asking to you from each other because that's a we're coming Sunday will be kipper I wanted to talk about m as follows. say it shouldn't be a mass text like go >> this if you babble to somebody but I want to I want to you'll hear I want to talk I'm not we can handle I just firstly is notice a minute we're good people don't mock what they're yeah I know that right but I want to I want to talk about the and I want to share as follows Every single person who goes through something whenever you have with a friend I have my narrative what happened and you have your narrative of what happened. There's a line when I do I do many bikinas for the yeshiva. See the iron I want you to hear. So when I do so I ask a youngster about his family. I want to get a picture of the guy. I want to feel him. So I asked him about his family. He says he has six siblings. One of the hardest questions I ask, how many siblings do you have? Because when you're under pressure, you can't figure out, am I one of my siblings? I'm one of seven, but I have six siblings. It's like a dizzying qu when you're under pressure. That's like not a fair question almost. A guy gets like but then then I ask him what age are your siblings? So this inevitably what happens a guy says I have a sister who is and he looks at mom like the how old is she and mom says 23. So I explained to mom and the kid I don't want to know how old she is. I'm not handling her right now. Later on she's probably a wonderful girl. Tell me how old she is. We'll think of a I want to know how old he thinks she is. Why? And I explain that your kid's perception is your reality. Your kid's perception is your reality. I want to know what's his world. How old he thinks his sister is. Let's say he thinks she's 20 and she's really 29. So if she's really 29, the parents have been sar for nine years. She doesn't have a shock. They're looking there's so much pain. He's bliss. He thinks she's 20. He hasn't gone through that pain. to him she's 20 he doesn't know for nine years I want to know his story I want to know his perception of what it matters is Mayor would come here Shabbasus now he's 11 when he was eight every guy in yeshiva is like 7 foot6 when you're eight years old and you're with the guys they're all like big and good-looking everybody's 76 if you don't know that he looks at you as 7 foot six you're not living reality His reality, his re his perception is your reality. To an 8-year-old kid, every guy is, you know what I'm talking about. To an 8-year-old kid, every guy. If you don't that there are guys who look a little aggressive, they think it's funny. You're a 7 foot six guy to an 8-year-old who to shalom zone comes here, you're all seven foot. If you don't know that, then you're not living reality. His perception is your reality. You have to know what he's feeling. Parents say to their kids, a kid said reality. >> What? >> It's his reality. >> Right. It's his reality. Right. That's what I'm saying to parents. >> It's his reality. >> But but parents, our job is what others are perceived has to be our reality. Your kids's perception is your reality. Cuz you have when a father will say a kid said, "You always said you hated me." The father like laughs. Ah, it's not what happened. You're wrong. It is what happened. Because if he felt that that's a reality that's what he was that's what >> a father could like smuggly the kid said you always said you hated me father said I didn't say that I said that what the kid saying you always said it he felt something if you don't laugh smug that's not what happened that's what he was perceiving his perception your reality in any single disagreement we've had in our life with anybody you see it one way somebody recently I called her. I s come to my house. Somebody sent me a text that was very painful and said of a said a certain picture of something that happened. That's not what I experienced, but that was their experience of what happened. When you're in an argument with somebody, you have your experience. They have theirs. You're not seeing it's a Pella. If you ever like manage the M is a a fight between husband and wife, a fight between two partners, they have two worlds. It's crazy the perception now who's right. It's usually nobody I don't think anybody's ever 100% right ever. I don't want to say ever. It's not usual in that's one of the hard part in dealing with difficult people. So you're not 100% right. I've had in my life dealings with a very hard person. It's actually very difficult because you're not a you can't just say I'm right. You might be even 98% right. But there's there's another way of seeing it. There's another way of seeing it. In every single mus there are two ways of of there's a perception. There's there's an experience and two people's experience. The problem always with saying I'm sorry and you almost never say I'm sorry well enough is because I can't mamish see it your way because I didn't experience it your way. Wow. >> Every I'm sorry inevitably fall short. It's very hard to say I'm sorry for this reason. I'm not talking about the part I admit. I can admit I made mistakes. But can I admit my mistake is the way you receive the mistake. I also know my story. I also know my difficulties. I know what caused it. When I the I'm sorry you want is not the I'm sorry I can give because I can't I just can't be you. I can't I could say I definitely could see I came up short. The way you experience me coming up short, I c I I didn't experience the way you experienced it. And I'm sorry almost always will fall short because I know my side of things. And as much as I could like try and I'm thinking your side, but I also I'm living I live my I don't live your side. What I want to express in every I'm sorry is since you're trying to hear my side, I'll meet you halfway. I accept your I want to express Ari that accepting you doesn't mean if you really get my side I don't know if it's possible I can't be you I'm not you I don't know if I could ever like be so negated of self that I mamesh I don't know I don't know I don't know it certainly won't happen a lot what I could say is that I really understand and I see there's another side and I made mistakes and if if you see I'm making efforts to see your side meet me halfway I accept you meet somebody the acceptance of and that beautiful exchange if I asked means I really could see there's another side to things and I even like could understand your your side of things I'm really sorry I really apologize I wish I did it different now could I ever fully see it that way. Could I ever like I don't know. But the art I think Moyo like the art of m is we could meet somewhere. You're coming at it yourself and like saying I I give you a right to your experience to to your way of seeing it. I'm mammish. I'm sorry. I I you have a different you see something. Could I could I feel it your way? So could the could I'm sorry bear enough the way you want it because you're working hard to meet me I'll meet you. Let's that's how I see like ma go down. >> We translate this with >> what >> I thought about that a lot. I thought about that a lot. He wants to know in our in our towards Hashem Hashem's that he meets us. Maybe that's even I've once thought it says Hashem's. So it says he increasingly forgives. I want to claim I want to claim. What does it mean he increasingly? He forgives. What's this rebu? So some say it means by by by people if you wrong me again and again again. I'm like I'm not doing this. You've asked 10 times you keep going back. Hashem is again and we mess up again again again. I want I once thought that that Hashem's marb is that if a person a drip he meets us normally in you have to be halfway if you mish don't even see mine you ask me I'm I I want to ask do you feel anything could you are you moved a little to me could you give me a right a little if the guy moves nowhere in normally I'm not that's not even asking you didn't ask means I wrong means your perspective to a certain amount. I I see your perspective means if a guy if a guy asks police believe seeing my perspective at all okay it's not a I'm not giving you a right for your perspective I want to claim perhaps Hashem is marvelous a person knows his own story say but but in in a drip a person says you know I have things I want to be I want to be more true Hashem says he's marvelous im meets us imish meets us we are the person that drip is like epis epis I I I I could see I I I want a little more's marvelous life he meets us imamish meets us in that place a person a person's is a drip he's he's increasingly forgiving he's marvelous life by a human being it has to be a certain amount we meet halfway but there's an amount you have to go by Hashem it's like a neo to neot person epis marvelous like he increasingly forgives >> we can't even go we can't even go to that amount with hashem he needs to come further down like I can't even come close to see >> mask mask mask we don't know our own greatness our own our own possibilities so it's going to be you know I want to be a little more t but epis could be more tapped in she's marble he meets us Mamesh Mamesh meets us there. He's increasingly forgives what I would say in two people probably wouldn't even go that's that's I wasn't even coming to like translate there. I'm talking about two friends are am I describing in friendship m what happens just in the of the of asking I want to I want to say this I want to say that in this beautiful of asking each other I want to ask the leave room for another person's perspective I want even say in yeshiva sometimes somebody comes we've had speakers and I felt guys were too judgy oh how emotionally present. Leave room for his perspective. Should leave room for another person's journey. Leave room another person. Stop being so judging of his. Don't be leave room. He has his he doesn't have his truth and his story and his growth and his perspective. Really leave room. I'm using the world of Mahila to bring this out. Leave room for another person's journey. I used to like asking guys in yeshiva to say how they got back to yeshiva that was like a place everybody had the day we came back to yeshiva their trip and their journey to get here and their story but I love tons there's so a lot I love about Durham but I like there's so much space for people yeti came the whole yeshiva is going not yet the whole yeshiva likes you it's like a buzz in the yeshiva gut he's good you have good energy you have positive energy What I love about this place, [applause] >> yes, what I love about this place is there's really room for people. CDK man's like impact a big person, a growing person. There's really room for [applause] people. I want to the m like brings me there to ask from another guy. What I have to do is say he has a perspective. You can't ask somebody you that means I wronged you. But I mean, I have my story, but he has his. But he has his. Could you see that he has a different story than you? Could you allow for a different It's hard to do because you're involved, but allow for his story. Allow room that he has a story too. That's what I see as the s of asking ma is give granting. I actually think this whole minazi of asking ma allows for this. Take any disagreement you have with somebody even a person who wronged you and beside I'm not saying not to be mad but is it possible he has a different narrative and a and are you 100% your he has his version and story and experience the allowance for his experience of it it doesn't mean to give up yours I'm not saying we can't be upset I'm not saying we can't have a tina but can I allow him to have his experience Could I allow him to have his journey? Could I allow him to have his truth? >> Make space for his truth also. >> That line we say Yiannis perceptions your reality. Let him have a story too. And uh that's what I want people when when somebody comes here for any I don't want anybody to be so arrogant. Their their truth and story and journey is the only truth. I want to go into any base madish in the world and they're all different type and appreciate that truth of that journey and somebody's there's an arrogance if I write off everybody else's journey and everybody else's story and everybody else's perspective I smile and just not at all not I actually I told the guys starting today that I came here from an Uber driver who was talking how can I make waterberry better so it was like so Nice to see this gentleman who moved to a city, has two daughters, and he's trying to make things better for Waterberry. And I was like moved. He has his story. His story. I'm like, and I was like I was, can I say something? I was humbled by him. I was very humbled by him. You could get full of yourself and yours. I was very humbled by another human being who moved from Bridgeport to Waterberry. He moved to the inner city. He told me that he was in the parking lot of Sears and he saw a 19-year-old girl who was on drugs. He said, "I'm in so much pain for him." He told me, "Wow." >> Told me it pained him. And he's like thinking what he could do to make things better. And whatever. Allow room for another person's story and truth and beauty and accomplishments. Don't write it off. Anybody's Anybody's I want to express that because Rashan Kipper is a time of unity. It's a time of like so we're on rash weem we stand as a people and as a unified people I like looking around the shul during yum kiper and seeing other people's beautiful journeys and being inspired as well go around whatever whatever the sh is look around the room and see a beautiful group a beautiful people beautiful space of people with their own stories their own journeys and then have yours by the way. Have yours but make room for his too. Allow for his. Make space is the coolest thing where I ask on my fight with you I say you know your you know your narrative you're saying something. I want to ask you I could actually see one day every single person who will be married. Your job's going to be to see in a deep way somebody else's perspective. It's it's a very interesting thing in sports like me when when when I would get hurt in basketball my arm kills me when somebody else gets hurt I don't feel his pain >> come on >> so the tendency is come on like man up >> because you're not living with you're not living cuz his nerves mish we've roommed that the guy's hurt I don't like when people like discount somebody else's injuries the guy's hurt guy's really hurt the guy's I like in professional football and they all pray for a guy who's hurt. I like that they stop the game and they see his pain. It's not just clear him off. We've had times with injuries in yeshiva. I don't let the guys like get him off the court and continue the game. I don't like that. We're waiting a bit. There's a place first. We're making sure the guy's okay. We're not we're not like because it's his. It's not just I'm not so stuck in me. There's him. There's me. There are others. Not to be stuck in self. Mahila is a big suggest of asking I think very big people are able to see others perspective we're talking about the describing asper is to see another is to make space for another in in there's an inion there's an inion to give a guy what he's accustomed to if he used to have runners running in front of him. Then you have to get him runners to run in front of him. If a guy's used to fancy, you're supposed to stuck by him fancy. Now somebody could be cynical. Hey, he doesn't need that. If a guy's used to having people certain type of don't be cynical his perspective, that's what he really needs. You You don't relate to that. You don't need that. He needs that. It's funny and I I want to say this. I'm not being critical of anybody. Schools ask people when they raise tuition, they ask people, "How many vacations do you take?" It bothers me a lot. I'm not trying to be critical. Schools struggle with money. I don't know the answer. It bothers me a lot that they ask people, "How many vacations do you take?" It bothers me because you don't know. Maybe for that family, it's death. If they don't and the mash, if you take vacations, we can't give you a break on tuition. is Moshe. Maybe that family that that vacation is for one family doesn't need that for this lady. Maybe without that their mamish wouldn't live. You have no right to judge. Don't judge for your whole life. You don't you can't judge people financial state. What do you mean they drive a nice car? Maybe this guy without this car. You don't know anything. Maybe this is maybe this guy can't survive without the fancy car. >> Don't judge a guy. You don't judge this guy might need that's his way that's his maybe that gives him some relief. He has so much I don't know you don't know another person you're not you're not you're very stuck in something you start raiding well he takes vacation he shouldn't pay less tuition no maybe maybe vacation by him is like you don't know family by family and it's it's very I'm not saying what school should do and everybody should give tons of money to yeshivan yeshiva because yeshivas need money and I'm not coming to d schools what you say >> understanding that side >> right right Sure. But I want to say that when you judge people, it's like childish to start like assessing you'll see in your life people that raising stock and you say but he wears a nice suit. Maybe that guy like mamish the nice suits like he just needs raise stuck for him. It's not a cash on him. Don't have this big you're not understanding somebody. You don't know in his in his family when he goes and I don't know I don't know what's happening. It's not you don't know anything. You don't it's not it's not a good judgment. It's not a good read. He has a different world and his own story and his if you would know his story and his situation and what's going on in his home. You can't even weigh who's the arrogant guy to like decide it. You sit back. Well, they do vacations. They should I don't know this family vacations might be and this family driving this car and everybody has their own. What are you supposed to? We have to figure we have to everybody has to give generously. That's for sure. But this point that each person is their own perspective and make room for another perspective in the ma it brings it out to me. I think I think the days itself are days of tremendous unity describes it's a day of and one is sees another nishama and there's space for your story. Make room in the shuls make room in our lives for another person's perspective the asking m is wonderful because to ever ask you says I want to say I know you have a side of things m and it's true I see it my way you know you have a different way of seeing it I really want to ask you and I really could see you I could see your side of things and I really want to ask now do I see it as well as you do I don't and that's where you're accepting my mas you'll meet me you know I have a side too we meet halfway >> said >> that's the >> are we expanding that >> the days before we could tap into a space of of just understanding other side like not just like only >> I think because there are days of anybody can attack us I think there [snorts] such a >> it's just saying >> I think because there are days of there are days like we go back to our roots back to who we are so it's days of that we can make room for him there's room for me that's what I see. It's a time of space here. There's always space for you. I appreciate that you're here a lot. A lot a lot. How? [applause] How old are you? >> How old are you? >> Got you just in the right time. >> Oh, that's his perspective. [clears throat] >> Welcome home. Welcome home. >> Mishla, how old are you? >> 14. >> Is that real? He is age. I'm just happy we have you my very [applause] lucky to have you. Is your Is Miy coming to Mipper? >> I don't think so. >> Shucks. He's come some years with Shashana. >> Should I be coming? >> I don't know yet. >> I want to be. How about we make an MY? [laughter] >> How much you have to pay? [laughter] >> You ever heard You ever heard that? You ever heard that Mitch? Oh, you heard this >> Mr. I can't I can't >> stop saying sorry to people like I don't know like I don't remember exactly what I did like try to like go to that >> that's what means don't that what that means don't just like I'm looking for everything get to the bottom >> I think it's like if you like it's a real like sometimes you have a dispute so I don't you probably not like some people like get human beings sometimes like have discorded disputes So Arab kipper we ask like we we try to settle that you know >> I guess >> I don't remember every dispute that I had. So like should I go around asking people like in you go around no you're welcome you're welcome >> I don't make fun of it's funny you didn't do it to me it's like I don't like making fun of it at all. It's nice each other if you can remember and now you didn't say I want to ask I might have wanted >> I don't know. >> Yeah. Right. I might have done something like >> Right. Right. But if we could remember then we have to >> try to communicate. It's ultimately all this is perspective. It's really about communication. >> It's about what you're perceiving towards like someone else. >> So like >> the the deeper thing of ma is the coolest thing that you're entitled to see. I really see you. You experienced something different than I didn't. I want to apologize like I I came up short. I could I could see your way of seeing it. That's like the deepest space of M. And it's cool. >> Eie, thanks for being here. [applause] Also, and then the rest of the year, >> thank you. >> Me and yeah, I'm making heavy pressure on you. Who do stay, Abby? >> You join me to stay for the year. >> We are. >> We are. You with me? >> We need this. You see that? >> Okay. >> I have an idea. >> It's >> really Somebody has to speak to the Israeli government for us. >> Abby Abby might have pulled. Do you have business dealings with the Israeli government? >> We're figuring it out. >> He needs to ask you understand Donny's home now. coming back after >> guys are saying we should have a football team and guys told me Donniey's very good guys don't is that you knew that >> football team so >> there's soccer also right >> we're going to stop here >> there will be I believe tonight there'll be a little shishi do we know what time a >> today's Thursday Okay, guys. Thank you guys. >> Thank you, >> Alisha.