Tu B'Av: Shidduchim From Time Immemorial

this torah class is brought to you by torahanytime.com okay good morning welcome everyone so today of course is tuba of and uh what what could we possibly do in honor of two of other than have two shirem so that's what we're going to do in honor of tuba of we're going to have two shurim on to above um let us begin the gemara tells us in the end of massachusetts it's a mission at the end of tinus amar rabbin shimon ben gamlial rashim gamal says israel there were no better days for the jewish people than the 15th day of hakipuram anyam kippur what used to happen on those days shabbahen the noise yushalayim yoitzuis on those days the daughters of jerusalem would go out in white garments should as not to embarrass those who did not have in other words they would not allow the jewish women to wear their own garments because if that was the case then those who had would wear and those who didn't have would not have what to wear so therefore they uniformly enacted that everybody borrows this way everyone is equal um shulin shaloillavisious misha in like they immersed all the kalim so as not to embarrass only the ones whose kalem whose garments were tame shalayim yatsays the daughters of ishaim would go out vahrehlos bikram they would dance in the vineyards umahayu ay rice and what would they say right and as you can imagine this this solved the of crisis in those times what would they say bahur young man sana enecha raise up your eyes and check out what you're choosing so that implies that the young men would select based on the appearance and then they would say no look in the family and they would say shecker is and bottom line even though the mishnah is somewhat contradictory first it would sound like they would say look at what you're what you're selecting and then they would say look at the family and then they would basically say just get married so gemara says in fact there were three groups of girls the girls who had the uh yoifi would say to the men in isha ella leofi the most prominent feature of woman is her beauty so look at what you're choosing those who didn't have that my law would say no sheikah mahelha yo if you look at the family and those who had neither yoifi or mishbaka they would say just do what you got to do and get married so there are three groups of uh women so vigor what family is more important no but the the reality is that usually comes last in people's minds if they don't have anything else so then you tell them you know just do it do what you got to do yeah this the shame shaman was usually people's last resort okay look at me you take what you could get you know the rash bomb says that um who did he marry the rash um excuse me the rao bag the raw bag says maishrabenu uh married sipaira she was a kushi or at least according to the literal meaning of the kim so uh so the rabbi says you see from here that in life if you can't get a hundred you take 90 and if you can't get 90 you take 80. you can't take 80. you do whatever you could do try to get the best you can and if you can't you need to settle that's it and who do we learn it from himself because look what he did he couldn't find someone else so he married sipaira just just take care of your business that's right okay but that's not what today's shira is about okay but it's always a good uh thing to point out me hashem i got perfect okay but you know that's just between me and you you know the [Music] because it's a day of atonement it's the day that the second luchas were given ella tuba of mahi but what's so special about tubav so it's a very difficult question what do you mean what's so special about the gemara the mishnah says on the the nice you shall aim would go dancing in the vineyards and the bachram would come out and the would say the mishna says what's special about two above tuba was national day so what's the gemara's question what is so special about apparently then what the gemara has to be asking the deeper question is i understand two above is the happiest day of the year because all this is ibugin and all the shidduchim were made but why did they pick tuba as the day of shidduchim in the day of zebu you could pick any day on the calendar why why was it tuba of in other words the question is why did this why did these shidduchim occur on tuba so then the question is well if the if we're trying to understand why two above became the day of shidduch then why yom kippur how do we understand what's the bishop i am kipper meaning bislam until now i would have learned i understand why yom kippur is a happy day because it's a young but now we're learning the gemara i understand yum kippur that everybody got married what is the fact that yom kippur is the day of suicha mahila and the day that the luchas were given what does that got to do with marriage why do we understand how yom kippur became a day of marriage so the banaya writes in a footnote i understand why yom kippur became a day of marriage that's the day the second luchas were given meaning like this the madrid tells us that was analogous to what to kala the gemara says getting alouva kala shazinsa takaskopasa the harsinai was like a chuppah harsinai was like the canopy over our heads we were about to marry god the kasif was the luchas the only problem is we uh we were masana instead of serving god and and committing to god we went we were mazana with the aegon so living with the ego was like znus at that he broke the kedus and he destroyed the kadusan and that's why hashem gave him a yasher kayak for breaking the luchas because ibrahim said better that they should be mazana as a not married to me than be mazana as an arusa to me so moisha by breaking the quest of the kadusan so the lucha schneids were what a new conduction so i understand why claudius gets married on yom kippur because from time immemorial it was always a day of marriage marriage to who married to ibanishalam so bish lama yom kippur it was the day of kedushin to the rebel shallam so if i could add no extra charge but the gemara says something else the gemara says it says but it says why does the fact that it has why is that a reason to get married so i'll tell you the truth last night i saw this in the um the benjayada and i gave this share many many years ago and there was something i forgot that i said so i called up torah anytime i said i need this share i gave it six years ago i said i need the tape they said you know it's not on the site anymore because it it was after the time it jumped out so they found it on legacy they emailed it to me and i listened to it on the way here i got it and what's been you sorry i said this a long time ago listen to this edition that what the gemara is saying is like this we know that um is the day that a person gets so the gemara is saying i understand why we get married on yom kippur first of all we got married the first time second of all it's traditionally a day of so therefore it's very reasonable to have another day of suicide on this day meaning it's mustaber to get married on yom kippur because marriage brings silicon and yom kippur has time immemorial always been a day of fine so in other words yom kippur is the perfect day to get married it's the time we got married to you some it's a time that runs from forgave us and therefore it's always a good day to have zivugim but are you light up no no so we don't get married on yom kippur it might be a good idea it's probably cheaper you know save money you know maybe takara nutakanos but um you can make you can you can you can have it you can have shidduchim on yom kippur ella tuba of mahi but why is tuba day of shidduchim so again this is a different way of understanding the gemara now we're trying to explain why is it not why is tuba of a happy day why is it a good day to make shidduchim and basically what the gemara is going to do is the gemara is going to go through historically how from time immemorial shidduchim were always made on tuba so listen to what the gemara says it's a day that the shvatim were mutual to marry into each other mai dorosh what did they darshan because until this day basically shavette ruvain married rouvenites and shimon married shimanites and so on and so forth nobody there were no intermarriages the swat them stayed to themselves in the same they kept it in the same shapehead maidorush what did they darshan why did they allow this cross marriage zahadava siva hashem hashem commanded the daughters of god that marry into the same shayvette why so that if you only have daughters and you inherit the father so the fathers yerusha is not going to go to a different shavet but [Applause] this commandment is only in this generation but from from here on you're allowed to marry into different shavatin so what the gemara is saying then is since this was a time from tuba of and on they allowed more shadduchim therefore throughout history shidduchimer always made on the gemara goes writer um it was the day that they allowed binyamin to remarry back into the main uh main body of the jewish people people because after the pillage the [Music] made a din that you can't marry into shaytan because they were unhappy with the practice of shiva binyamin in the episode of what what um that they is at mitzvah saying no one will give their daughters to shelby young to marry and they darshan my daughter we're not going to give from us but from our children we will so again this is another raya that um throughout history shidduchim were made on tuba so it was the day that they allowed from shiva binyamin to marry him okay another another episode so now again based on the way how we're learning the gemara all these different perusham of the gemara it's not going to be enough just to say oh a happy thing happened on tuba we have to explain how this simcha makes it that it's an appropriate day to make shidduchim it's the day that the mesa midbar stopped dying because we know that ever since that first tish above in history there was xero on all the males between 20 and 60 that they would the night of tishbo they would dig their own graves and they would lay down in it and in the morning 15 000 jews did not wake up neba tishb was a terrible day for claudia swall in year one fifteen thousand jews would dig their own graves they would not wake up in the morning year two you're three you're four until forty times fifteen thousand is six hundred thousand so we're up to the 40th year and the last remaining fifteen thousand year then dug their own graves expecting that uh night to be their last on planet earth and they were very pleasantly surprised to wake up in the morning a little groggy and saying you know what i never it never felt so good to need caffeine in the morning that's what they said right they were very happy to wake up in the morning and they realized that now they figured what's going on we weren't supposed to make it they figured they must have miscalculated you know they made a mistake with the levana so they dug their graves another night and another night and another night and finally when the 15th day of of came and they saw the full moon they realized they didn't make a mistake on the calendar they realized the gazette was over and they celebrated the fact that the decree had finished by the way we spoke out last year from high druk why was it that every year the fifteen thousand died and after the last year the fifteen thousand remained what was special about them the age right they were still under 20. no they they were lucky they were they should have they should have died so he says that near one they the people who dug their own graves all six hundred thousand they figured they have a pretty good shot of living so they dive and rebound shalom save me in the morning just in case just in case i need you god save me that kind of trilla it's not really me um and then in year 20 they said you know i still got a pretty good shot of making it through so you've understand i'm i'm okay just in case i need you do me a favor i should and even in year thirty nine seven 50 50. just in case do me a favor in year 40 they said we know it's not it's not possible we have no one to rely on other than you so when they davened they dave and really they re really reliant on the emotion and that those thrillers were in escabel and they taka survived the gezera of the mese midbar so so now you'll ask what does this have to do with shidduchim just because people stop dying why would this be a day of zivugim so look carefully the gemara says that once they stop dying omar when all the men of the desert stopped dying meaning for 39 years god did not speak to mashrabeno and after the magus amidburg stopped dying the ibanezham spoke once again so rashi asks wait a second what do you mean if something spoke to myself once again do you don't think your vanishing spoke to myself during those 39 years of course he spoke to much during the i mean throughout the torah he's continually speaking to maisha sarashi says he did speak to moshe but it wasn't um it wasn't specific it wasn't a lie the word eli doesn't appear it was just like a lie connotes says a very personal intimate type of relation so rashi says for the 39 years that the mesa midfielder were dying diribanisham did not speak to maisha directly in a very uh in a way of endearment now that they may say midvar stopped dying the rebound some spoke to myself [Applause] from the kisses of your mouth then this voice in his hakadama to i believe sharashiram says that what this means is ribansham spoke to my being that but to claudius royale the boston was not makadesh claudius yet where miss paolo that ubuntu should speak to all of us in the same manner of conducion that the evangelist spoke to myself so when we say yeshua kanim and shikha spirit where miss palo the ebony should marry us the way he married moshe so again this this is um symptomatic of the fact that what happened on tuba of the bansham spoke too much in a personal way that was like a type of marriage that was like a type of relationship fine the gemara says further there is a man by the name of europe your other benevot felt that once he broke off the ten tribes on the two tribes if the ten tribes would go and be oily regal at the making mahmiktash that would unite the people unify the people and that would sort of destroy his dominion and therefore he made a rule that nobody is allowed to be oily regal he even put centuries on the road to stop the jewish people from being oily regal comes hoshaya ben ela and hoshea ben ela said all right let it be it's a free country they want to serve our idols gazunte they want to go to the temple no problem so on tuba of was when the jewish people were able to reunite at the makkam hamikdash so you say what does that have to do with kedushin i will be honest with you i'm not sure i'll let you think about it but i'm just pointing out in the pattern that we're learning the gemara the gemara would have to be saying not just this was a happy day but this was a day that created from time immemorial a day of shidduchim maybe it was the reunification of knesset so with revenation able to get married to the north he was love this specific country right so he he's saying they would go to the base and then be able to get married the south and the north you have big shoulders to say a vote like that i don't have such big shoulders good very good very good okay you're saying somehow somehow this answer explains why this became a day of shidduchim i when i have something good i tell you if i don't i tell you also okay so the gemara continues the gemara says another thing that happened the gemara says it was the day that the haruki beta were given to burial and the rav master says the day they were given to burial they were masaki and ram gamlio's musakin and yavna the bracha of hatoya bahamativ we know the city of beta was massacred and the bodies were laying strewn and they were not allowed to be buried until tuba of and they realized first of all hathoi that the bodies did not decompose the hammativ and they were allowed to be buried now this i i we could offer the following shot that there's a concept that the neshama does not return upstairs until after kuvura the body needs to be in the ground and the decomposition has to begin for the neshama to restore up to shamayim what is the return of the neshama up to shamayim is called yamada the day of shema passed away is called what does he mean and the soul so the haruge beta so to speak their sana the return of their soul tribunal was being delayed until which day until tubba up comes to ba'ab they were anita lakevoora and they were reunited with their creator fine the gemara says like this another shot that occurred on tuba rabba varavyosev the amrit shaposko military it's the day they stopped chopping wood for the mesbah why says the gemara that every day they were chopped wood for the mizbeh the mizbach needs a lot of wood the problem is anyone here who here likes the summer you like the sound who here doesn't like the heat who doesn't like alvin doesn't like the heat good that's the right answer for this year people don't like it because it's very hot in the summer but you know what we need the summer because when the sun shines down on the wood it it removes it dries out any moisture in the wood and it renders the wood kosher for the mizbayach however once the sun begins to wane the sun is not strong anymore then some the moisture still uh um remains in the wood and then it gets a little wormy and we cannot use the wood anymore for the mizbeh from tuba oven on the sun light is less the days begin to shrink okay so if you don't like those you know short friday nights you're very tired when you come home well now is the time of the year that it gets better for you the sun um the days get shorter the sun is not as strong the sun wanes mamela the wood is a little bit more moist and we do not cut wood anymore for the mizbayach it's yamcha military it's a day they would stop cutting the wood for the maraca because it's not dry amira menasha of the karule yam tavar magal it's called the day of the breaking of the sickle ah says the gemara from now on the nights are longer the nights are longer loy every lilia ella laguersa night was created to learn says if those who add to their learning they will be given additional life with the law myself and if one is not does not add to their learning yeah are safe they will be gathered okay rabbi say but still what is the simcha of we still have not hit it on the nail what is the great joy of tuba so they stop chopping wood you would think if you stop doing a mitzvah it's a not a happy thing why is it a happy thing that they stopped chopping the wood the rash bomb that until this day they would chop the wood every day chop chop chop chop chop chop chop comes tuba that was the final day they chopped what do you call the conclusion of a mitzvah see them it's the end of a mitzvah so they made a great joy this is the makara for making a messiah man says the rashfam the of the is this was the day they finished cutting the wood it was the conclusion of the mitzvah from here we learned that when you conclude doing a mitzvah you make a seem otherwise why do we make a see them when we finish them it should be a dev available why is it a happy occasion right if if you are starting a new one right but the joy of most people's joy is they finish so this is a makar that you make a joyous occasion upon the conclusion of a mitzvah has another shot abhinu garcian says that wait a second until two of they would chop chop chop chop chop the wood now how long does it take to chop the wood i don't know a minute two minutes wait a second during that minute or two minutes they couldn't do a midsole which is much greater which which mitzvah couldn't they do they couldn't learn ah they lost that on a minute or two of learning comes to above and they have an opportunity to learn for one more minute that's a simple but what do you mean but they were they were doing a good thing they were doing a very noble they're doing a mitzvah compared to lima torah nothing is in the same ballpark when they stopped doing the mitzvah and now have a greater opportunity to learn that's a greater sim card so you're probably thinking gladstone according to the way we're learning over here what's this gotta do with shidduchim the answer is you see every jew is engaged to the torah shenama lanu maisha is engaged to the torah he never consummated his marriage when you learn in front of um it's like you're having relations with his arusa in front of him mamela comes to bob there's more of an opportunity to consummate the marriage to who the torah also it's a day of marriage they have marriage it's a very good day to make okay this is the way we're learning the gemara i believe the banaya saskar learns this way he says look at number four um according to all the reasons that we're sending the gemara yiksa no lama daika as yo why did they go dancing why did they make shidduchim on that day and not some other yamtif they should have had um day on sukis it's the day the shwater were allowed to marry it's a day we're allowed to marry into shaytan therefore from those from that day and on it was enacted and it was established and that day was infused with the possibility of repeating as we know that the jewish calendar is a is a living calendar that whatever happened one time during that time of the year repeats itself right we say the time itself is a living entity and it repeats itself and since these types of simcha related to hasanah occurred on tuba it's not a coincidence then that this day has been established from time immemorial but says the vineyard saskar but why did these things happen on tuba why what was the hashikaka that the shvatim were allowed to marry into each other davka and what was the hashikaka the yemen was allowed to be married into the main barracks of david tuba in other words we understand why we make a national shidduch day but why did all of these other simcha's related takasana happen on sesame sales hashem created the world when is the first day of creation it's not like yeshua says the first day of creation is imam elizabeth says it's interesting normally when there's makhalikas we're blessed and rabbishu who do we pass can like yeshua right we always passing like rabbi schwa first of all we're passing like yeshua and second of all revelator is a shamuti no reshmuty is he's a talmud of shamai we don't pass going like this so we would expect then that we pass can like rabbi lazar excuse me like yeshua that benissa and and yet in the rosh hashanah davening what do we say hey what's going on over here we don't pass going like your blesser well says the venezuela an incredible thing if hashem created the if the first day of creation was either achabanistan that's the first day of creating adam adam was created by benissa or but what's the first day of bria either adam because creation began six days earlier so the first of by merely kemihi was either the 25th day of ello or the 25th day of ada says we know that before anything comes to fruition there's a conception there's the conception there's the heron and there's the e and then there's the leda conception is always 40 days before something for example when it comes to zivugim the gemara says have 40 days prior to the creation of a human being the the the formation of the vlad the heavenly voice cries out ruvain tayentala boracious bar like him bishville racist so when did it enter hashem's mind to create the world and have a relationship with kaliswal to uh 40 days earlier 40 days before elo forty days before the creation of the world that's when it was conceived in the mind of the uban islam to create the world for claudius so so to speak the day that ibrahim began to prepare for the relationship and the marriage between ribasham and kinesis israel occurred on tuba of two above is so to speak the day of the zivak between the evangelical mama from time immemorial has always been established as the day that we make zivugin because the ultimate zivag and the first zivag and the greatest zivag was prepared and conceived on tuba of arboretum it was called out in shamayim rebornish to knesses israel and that's why two bob has always time immemorial been a day of zivugim for akalisha and therefore since it's a day of zivugim and from there on from there on it has been established from that time and on that cloud israel would be ms dave and all of these things have occurred and therefore it's a day that benefits um so it comes out it says everybody wants to know why do we pass him like robbie lazar i wouldn't even pass anybody we always pass through michael yeshua the answer is we see that if all of these historic events occurred on tuba of namely namely what the swat love is the beta the the may say midbar stop dying the beta anita that was the day they stopped cutting the wood so we see him in our shamayim the ibanezham is giving a haskamma to to rabbi lazar that benissa excuse me tishrei never islam so you could ask so what if three batisham gives the huskamah doesn't get a vote when it comes to uh when the world was created even though you think you know he created the world so you know now now rizal says but you could say like this it's not only the ribanus gamma the besden paskend and what they did best in pascan the besden chamatta paskin that it's so in a way maybe the early pate de nim of claudius were pascaning so it comes out that from time immemorial tuba has always been a day of ze vugem and klausa so let's make a very simple kashmin there is a halacha in the rama and its first brother mahabharata's that some people look at number seven some people have a minogue to sleep on tish above on the floor and not only that says and they put a stone under their head says rama okay at the very least try to pain yourself in your sleeping you sleep with two pillows sleep with one and so on and so forth says evan some people put a stone under their heads on tuba on tish above and in his dream he saw the corbin so since he saw the dream uh the corbin in his dream and in that dream that he saw the corbin he put the stone under his head so the night of tisha which is the night of corbin there's a minute to put a stone under our pillow now here's the question who told rama that yaakov saw the khurban in his dream in his dream he just saw a ladder going up and down from how does the rama know that in the dream of yaakov avinu he saw the corbin the rambam and they always that when hashem comes to a navi he doesn't tell them exact words he shows them an image and in their mind they have a certain intuition of what the image means for example the letter the yaakovino venusaur somehow represented the the um the impending khurban bay samiktas but again where do we see in the sukkim tayakov avinu sua khorbin in his dream so if you remember two weeks ago right what were you talking about again remind me anxiety suck him so he said from the time so fire we said from surfer like this when yaakov veena was coming to the harabah yes what happened to the harbour is jumped toward yaakov like some surfers says the rebellion will is aligned corresponding to the base of the shall mala but when hashem took the base of mata and he brought it to yak ravino so now the two battements are not aligned a har no it it he saw that one day that turner suffers is going to uproot the mukken so let's just add one thing we'll add we know that the pasta says slept in that place so rashu says he slept in that place but the fourteen years that he learned in yeshiva shema eva he did not sleep at night so we asked so why was he a battle this night you know if he learned if he learned until now so what's he taking a break now for what's why is he being movato so the surfer says it must be not only did he see the corbin it was tish above okay so now fasten your seatbelts we're going to make a husband if that night was tish above so he slept that night and in the morning he meets lavan you're zeda she's your grandfather don't try to hide from it he met your zedelevan and lavan says i have a great shadow for you who is the shidduch you're supposed to be who the uncle but he's yours i mean it's not personal i'm just telling you the facts that i could trace back your gihos to love them me too it's not only you all of all of israel comes from they delevan you know how rachel and leia your baba their tata i know we when when they call that the shidduchim we don't say lovan was a zeta we we ignore him but what could we do is our zeida so lovin says i have a great zivak who's the zivag rakha but he he said do me a favor do me a favor he says work seven years and then i'm gonna let you marry raka but yaakov works for seven years and then who is the who who is it leia so let's make it that means he meets love on on tishaba so let's count seven full years when are seven full years over arab tish above seven years later yaakov aveeno says you tricked me you you chakram you told me to give me a rock up lovin says don't worry my way shavuot just count the weeks so yaakov venus is fine i'll wait let's make a question he married leia seven years later heir of tish above tess yod your aleph your baze your gimmel you're dalid cheva brachas are over when does yaakov marry rocco the most anticipated shidduch in the history of the jewish people happened not too bad you heard it here first the most anticipated shidduch in the history of when did yaakovino marry rochelle tubav says the ending happy ending so can it so now we understand why from time immemorial tuba has always been a day of zebugin yaakov marries raquel seven years after working from he meets lavan jose da on tish above seven years are up he marries love on he marries uh leia arab tishema yaakov vino says no no this is not what i had in mind lovin says wade through the shabba bhakthas and two ba of many years ago was the most anticipated shidduch in the history of kali israel yaakov and rahel and again we see how historically tuba has always been a day of zivugim for claudius that concludes the first year on tuba don't go anywhere you've just experienced another torah class brought to you by torahanytime.com