Transcript
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I get the
I'm partial to Sarah the Ben Ashri
brings on page shin and gimel a
discussion from the Bal Shem Tov himself
regarding the phenomenon and this is a
phenomenon we see
in many cases in our times
that many young men or young women in
order for them to find their zivug hagun
they have to be read
many shidduchim or they have to
go out many times. And why do we
encounter this phenomenon? What is the
meaning of it? And the Ben Ish Hai
quotes two
sources in Sifrei Chassidus
from the Bal Shem Tov. One is found in
the Sefer Chaim Maharal which is
somewhat of a biography of the life of
Rebbe Nachman of Breslov in Siman Tav
Kuf Tzadi Hey and the other is in the
Sefer Bal Shem Tov Al HaTorah on Parshas
Ki Seitzei.
In the Sefer Chaim Maharal it brings
that when the Bal Shem Tov's first wife
passed away
and he
was in the shidduch with his second wife
in the city of Brod and then he came
back to Breslov to his house
and the Bal Shem said nobody really
understands the inyan of shidduchim.
He says that when he was involved in his
second zivug with his second wife many
wagons came with many prospective
shidduchim
and the Bal Shem said the truth is they
were all his zivug.
A person has many zivugim
but there are many bechinas, many
dimensions of zivugim.
Anytime uh an individual is mentioned
regarding a person even if it never
comes to fruition
on some dimension that is a zivug.
Sometimes people discuss it further
even the shadchanim discuss it.
And they say you know so-and-so is fit
for so-and-so
and that's also maybe a higher level of
zivug. And sometimes the shidduchim
the boy and the girl they meet and it
doesn't work out
and that's a higher level of zivug. And
sometimes they even travel to meet each
other and
they even have a certain agreement and
then in the end it falls through. That's
even a higher level of zivug. And
sometimes they even come to some type of
formal arrangement and sometimes
it's even at a point of kiddushin but
it's never consummated. All of these
various
stations are considered a zivug and a
shidduch on a certain level. The Bal
Shem would say
who inyan of this is a wondrous matter
shall I nish my kazois that we never
heard of
shadibur ba alma shima davar may a
shidduch merely a discussion about a
certain shidduch
zeba atzmi who bechina shidduch. That
itself is a certain dimension of a
shidduch.
And there are great secrets involved
over here. This is what's brought in the
Sefer Chaim Maharal.
However, in the Sefer Bal Shem
on Parshas Ki Seitzei
on the pasuk ki ikach ish isha
the Bal Shem reveals further.
That when they when they announce
when a person is conceived bas ploni
l'ploni
at that point in time many false
shidduchim clamor to be the designated
shidduch of such and such person.
And there the only way so to speak for a
person to rid themselves
and not have to
come to conclusion and fruition with
these shidduchim shikurim the only way
to patter yourself from them
is if some type of discussion or meeting
takes place in this world. So sometimes
merely a discussion of the shadchanim
that so-and-so is fit for so-and-so
that's one way to rid yourself so to
speak from these false shidduchim. And
sometimes you need to actually meet the
person to so to speak patter yourself
from
having this false shidduch before you
could get to the real shidduch. And then
sometimes there's even an arrangement or
some kind of agreement that is needed
to whatever level small or large in
order to rid yourself from that shidduch
until you're zocheh to the zivug
ha'amiti.
But the the phenomenon of having to so
to speak go out sometimes numerous times
with many people there is a mystical and
kabbalistic reason for this.
And although it's not our practice to
delve into the the mystical but
sometimes when people are in the parsha
of shidduchim they have a certain
burnout
they just say you know I can't go out
again or I don't want to speak to that
shadchan or I can't go through this. You
know it's probably not going to work
it's a waste of time. So there it might
be worthwhile to say you know certain a
certain number of people need to be
discussed and a certain number of people
need to be met and even if it doesn't
come to fruition a person shouldn't get
frustrated. Person person should rather
say that a certain amount of time has to
be invested, a certain amount of
shadchanim have to be spoken to, a
certain amount of people have to be met
and instead of so to speak getting
frustrated and say it's a waste of time.
This is what the hashgacha requires you
to so to speak rid yourself from having
to deal with shidduchim pray that Hashem
should send easily to all those awaiting
their zivug hagun b'karov mamash
bracha v'hatzlacha.
