Parshas Vayeitzey: "A Word Is A Word" - Breaking an Engagement

this Torah class is brought to you by Torah anytime.com he welcome everyone thank you everyone for coming we' like to welcome all of our Torah anytime viewers tonight's share is being sponsored Leo nishas relle bener and Lua by mishakov and all the mishos that are the children and grandchildren of rash Ben and LU also leas isuma anduma all of the should be for their respective families for Sim okay so we have a very interesting topic tonight and we could even say that this topic is not for a general audience um it's a very sensitive topic and uh we're going to get right into it this week's para we find that yobu marries first who he thought was Rael but actually in real was Leah and then yobu decides he's going to marry the woman who he thought he was going to marry from the beginning and that is RA yob marries two sisters and ran is bothered by the following question and the question is if in fact the a kept the entire Torah before it was given we knowu kept the whole Torah before it was given even even kept and yov kept the whole Torah before it was given yov ainu even learned Torah consecutively for 14 years he did not sleep at night how was yobu allowed to marry two sisters that is the question of the ramban okay got it the ran wants to know how could yobu marry two sisters to which the ran answers it's not a problem because the main place in this world to keep the mitos is the land of Israel ER is and since the OS were voluntarily keeping the mitzvos they only accepted upon themselves to keep the mitos in the land of Israel where did yov marry the Two Sisters outside of and conveniently one of them died before he got into Israel so it's not a problem yov only kept the T in is outside of is he did not keep the Torah and that's how he was able to marry two sisters comes with Yakov ketki yov kamki was one of the of the last generation and he ask the question that really is very befitting of his character and that is answer Yakov ketki I don't get the question of the ran thean wants to know thean wants to know send this down the wants to know how could Yakov marry two sisters what's the problem I'll tell you how he was allowed to marry two sisters he married Leia you know why he married Leia because he married her there's nothing wrong with marrying a woman right he married Leia now you want to know why he married Rael I'll tell you why he married Rael says rakov ketki and he he introduces to us a concept that many people are not familiar with you know why he married Rael cuz he said he would would cuz he said he would he told Rael I'm going to marry you right he was engaged to her in yish they had a v right they had a v you know they when did they have a vob said and if you say you're GNA do something you got to do it you hear that you hear it's a New Concept a person that says they're going to do something is morally ethically biblically obligated to keep what he said if you say you're going to call someone you got to call them you say you're going to meet someone you got to meet them if you're say you're going to do something you have to do it not because you swore not because you promised not because you took a because you said it and if you commit to do something you better do it so now what do you want Yakov to do Yakov told Rael I'm going to marry you but now he wants to pull out of his back pocket a you know what a is a strict measure he wants to be what we call fromy he wants to tell ra I can't marry you I'm a very from guy I keep the Torah before it was given yob why should ra suffer because yob wants to be a from guy jakob's not obligated to keep the Torah yakob wants to keep the Torah he's taking an extra legal measure he's taking an extra precaution he's not obligated to keep the Tor nobody told yov that he has to keep the Torah before was so he wants to be you know know very observant Ultra Orthodox not at someone else's not on someone not if someone else is going to lose out so say of Yakov ketki you know why yov was had to marry Rael because he told her he would they had a ver right and those of us who are familiar with bukari and Customs they had K right right K you know I got a big education about once you have the V once you have the you're finished there's no backing out right One Direction only you have to get married that's asked so if that's the case okay if that's the if the case is that once you say you're going to marry someone once you have the engagement party once you have the V once you have the you don't even have you don't even have to have the sh even without the sh right even before that even if you just have there's no going out there's no no getting out of it so therefore kamki wants to know if yob is obligated to marry Rael then what's the Ran's question why is ran asking how could Yakov marry two sisters he's morally obligated to marry two sisters sayov ketki D ran has no questions on yobu D Ran's question is on God Ran's question is on Hashem what's the question since Hashem knew kept the whole Torah before it was given why did Hashem put Yakov in a situation where he has to violate the Tyra where he's forced to marry Leia he got tricked into it and then he's forced to marry ra because he gave his word why did Hashem put yob in that situation to which the ran answers what situation yob only kept the in not in and yob was never forced to violate the T in soov ketki is introducing to us a very novel idea and that is we once had a Shear about what we call the sanctity of marriage that about G about kishan about how terrible divorce is now we're learning an added step that once two people are engaged they are bound to each other and they may not be able to break it perhaps perhaps engagement also has certain halic ramifications that is what we're going to learn about this evening okay so we begin we begin with uh an interesting idea and that is you know last last couple weeks we're talking about right we talked about what does the word mean what what's the what does that word mean yeah people think it's a Yiddish word It's actually an Aramaic word the tarum the tarum on the words and the land was tranquil the land was at peace the T says the land was in other words the word means Tranquility peace calm you know most people are thinking it's anything but that right if anything you know maybe it's Lush and sag you know it's a euphemism but that's what the ra says the word means Tranquility peace calmness you know maybe only once you find the then you know you find tranquility in peace but during the process it's certainly a very confusing time a very uneasy tenuous time and that is why perhaps the sa gives a different translation for the word and that is literally it means you know you have two Vines and they're mingle together they're intertwined so is when you have two disparate individuals and they come together but could also mean confusing you know so on the one hand a is a time of confusion but once you know once you got it down once you found it it's a time of Peace of Mind okay so let's talk about the if a boy and a girl are engaged is that binding now in the olden days at an engagement party at a v even at a k going back many hundreds of years they wrote they wrote t means you would write a formal arrangement that both sides agree to commit themselves to get married and the the boy side is going to give you know 100 chickens to the to the girl and they're going to give her fur coats and they're going to give her you know the leather everything she wants and two Shel and the girl commits to give the boy G he's going to sit and learn he's going to get his rent he's going to get insurance he's going to get AAR a watch right cuffing a manora esrog box all this stuff right that's what yeah that and they wrote it down they wrote it down on a document these were T besides that they wrote in the tanam that if any side reneges you have to pay a fine a major fine okay so certainly in the time that were written and it's brought down in the if one side wants to reeg you know boy and girl they get engaged and one side wants to back out they're not allowed to it can't you can't back out you can't back out unless it's mutual unless you have the consent of both parties why why why can't you back out you know so another very interesting idea is what if you know at the time of the T they decided they committed themselves the girl is going to give thean you know a silver srug box could the girl's family reeg so you say what of course she could well what happened they made a Kenyon right they made a formal acquisition they picked up a pen and they made a legal transaction to that the girl committed to give the boy a certain gift so what that's called as you know what as is as is when you make a kinon when you make an acquisition because you don't really think that there's any possibility of something happening for example you know if let's say um somebody somebody bets on a game yeah by the way are not a bet not bet the ra is more lenient but but uh you know to pay these games poker all these things for a it is there are no there are no legal loopholes look at that's a time for a different story for a different time means let's say I tell somebody I'm going to give you um a certain gift because I think you know we'll be able to work things out so the is I am not morally obligated to give you the gift you know why because if something happens and unexpected so I could say you know what I never realized that this would happen I was banking on the fact that this unexpected event wouldn't happen so in a normal situation if you commit to give someone a gift and at the end of the day you want to reneg there is a legal loophole to be able to reneg but when it comes to T if a or a Kal promises to give a gift to the other party you cannot reneg why not writes you know why you can't reneg because it's embarrassing it's embarrassing here what's going to happen you had a big right and she gave out the sugar to everybody right that's what happens she get and or you have the V everybody comes all the rabbis come and all the family comes and all the relatives come and you make a big announcement and you even put on what's that thing called you announce on the computer what is that called you put only Sim and the whole world knows your business right everybody knows you're engaged so what's going to happen the next day you're going to back out the next day you're going to back out of the of the V you're going to back out of the engagement it's going to be embarrassing let's say the wants to back out it's going to be a public humiliation for the T she's going to have to go tell all her friends right they may have given her gifts it's going to be very shameful because of the embarrassment T says that makes it that you can't back out it's you're embarrassing someone publicly it's a public embarrassment if the whole world knows that you're engaged and now you want to back out it's shameful to the other party Tov says this is not permitted in fact I'll tell you a little story and this is certainly not for the general audience yeah listen to this this was brought down in the sa sh marash marash was a student of rabf taek we once mentioned him a couple of months ago and he tells the following story you ready Ruan had a daughter Leia okay ruen meets a nice young boy his name is Shimon ruen says I want to give you my daughter Le you'll get engaged and I'll give you everything I'll give you the the Edition I'll give you the I'll give you the cuff Lings I'll give you the gold W whatever you want yeah I'll give you everything so he said fine and they made an arrangement the's family is going to give the kala you know three sh and they they signed that they signed yeah meanwhile they're not married yet but they're engaged meanwhile Ruan has another Daughter by the name of Rael Rael was married to a guy by the name of Ley unfortunately Ley passed away so Ru NE is stuck with with his daughter with excuse me excuse me what happened was um excuse me Rael passed away and and Ruan is stuck with his son-in-law he's an Alman he doesn't have anyone to marry so he say you know what instead of me giving my daughter Leia to Shimon I don't really like Shimon anyway you know when I gave him the shot he didn't even thank me you know I'd rather take my daughter Leia and give him to Ley because anyway he was a very good husband to ra so I'm going to give Leia to Ley so behind shimon's back he rips up the T and he takes his daughter Rael and he says I want you to get engaged to Ley meanwhile Shimon says no what kind of what do you mean we're engaged you know how to do that how could you take my kala and give him to another man so Shimon says that's it forget it Shimon throws all the gifts back into his future father-in-law's house the finlaw throws all the gifts back into his future son-in-law's house and Rael is about to get engaged to Ley when Rael says Ley he's a bum I don't want to get engaged to Ley so Rael calls up ruen ah Shimon excuse me on the phone and she says Shimon I love you I want to marry you I don't care what my father says so shim said now what are we going to do ra then moves into shimon's house and the father is is going berserk the father up in arms what kind of Mano what kind of bum is uh okay Shimon so they get the rabim involved in the case and the rabim speak to uh speak to Ru they say look Ru it's inevitable ra is going to marry Shimon the guy the the boy who who she was engaged to at first but let's make things good let's try to do it in a pleasant way just agree to commit yourself to give back the the gifts to to Shimon he says Fine on one condition we have to do this in a decent way she needs to come move back into my house and then I'll give her back over to him like every father gives a daughter over to the she said I ain't going I'm not going back to the to my father's house so now the question is meanwhile she's living there inappropriately so who's right you know who's doing the right thing is Rael wrong is Shimon wrong is Ruan wrong or are you confused by now right so basically marash pasin that the father-in-law who tried to reneg on the isar he's doing something wrong he's doing something terrible because once he committed himself to marry off his daughter to he may not pull back why once you agree to give over your daughter to someone you have the V you have the engagement you have the whatever you want to call it it's final and to reneg if for one party to reneg it's and that is what says so that's the first thing we're learning the first thing we're learning is engagement is binding because of the embarrassment Factor fine now we have another very interesting uh uh point over here and that is raised by the and the ader talks about another story okay you ready for this the story goes like this this is a young girl who was an orphan her father passed away was engaged with the young man they had the V fine um two days later the future kasan is inducted into the army he's not coming back for seven years so the mother of the girl said I don't understand I'm not we're not waiting around for you I need to marry off my daughter quickly I can't pay pay for her anymore you know she's shopping with the credit card I can't pay for all those shoes anymore I need to get her engaged to somebody we want to back out we're not waiting seven we're going to wait seven years for the says the who doesn't want the sh to happen if the girl wants to wait the mother may not reneg why not says there's a story in the Theus brought down by Rashi by to by the AR okay it may s sound like one of asa's fables but actually this is where he got it from tus Rashi the bring down the following story there was a girl she was very thirsty she's walking down the road and she sees a big pit of water she lowers herself down into the pit and she's scooping out the water now she needs to get up but she realized the pulley broke she's stuck in the pit a guy walks by you know Prince Charming comes by and he looks down he says who's in there she said it's me get me out of here he said only if you agree to marry me so he pulls her up she says fine I'll marry you and then they say but you know there no aam here who are going to be the witnesses to testify and make sure we keep our end of the deal so just then a weasel was passing by so the guy says you see that weasel he's going to be the first witness and you see the pit the pit is going to be the second witness okay what happened she was a good girl she's waiting she's waiting she's waiting for him to come back and marry her one day meanwhile he forgot about it the next day he married somebody else they had a child the boy is born after a year a weasel comes along bites the boy the boy dies they have another son a day later the sun falls into a pit the Sun dies the mother comes to the husband and the mother says what's going on here if the kids would have died normally so I would have been MTI as said then I would have Justified maybe we sin but they died with such a Misa in such a UNC unusual way what what do you do what do you do so he told her the whole story how one time a long time ago he committed to marry a girl and the Witnesses were the weasel and the pit so she said no I'm not your bash you need to go marry that girl okay that's the story that Rashi and Ty bring down the adds a few details meanwhile this girl she was a big catch every wanted to marry her and every time you know somebody wanted to marry her she said no no no no no no until people started attacking her so she had to act as if she was epileptic and she was a hunchback and you know people stayed away so one day they get a knock on the door and this guy open up right he comes to the door who's there I'm your get out of here you know she makes believe she's a hunchback and she's epileptic you know she's doing crazy things said no don't you remember me the guy with the weasel on the pit all of a sudden she St stands up straight she's beautiful and they get married happily ever after says the what do you see from the story if you tell someone you're going to do something you better do it you better do it he promised her that he's going to be faithful to the to the to his word and even a weasel in a pit where the witnesses and came through for came through for him says if the girl doesn't want to wait around that's her choice but for the mother to instigate and you know try to say we should break things up she has no right to do that you need to be faithful to your word so that's what the ad says another reason why the engagement is binding why because you gave your commitment you gave your faith now there's another idea that may come as a surprise to many people and that is the same way one is not permitted to marry two women right you know married to yeah no really you can't marry to it right you made that a person cannot marry two women also made a that you can't break an engagement know that the same in the same breath that he talks about the he talks about the of the that you cannot break an engagement who whiches andash imagine the biggest of the biggest of cannot break engagement yeah says the rasham says excuse this is a Tak that the you can't break it the same way person can't say you know what a two women that's for most people not for me right would anybody say that the same thing with engagement it's a it's a you know how many R you need to break it you only need 150 you need for you only need 150 Rabon okay okay so you say okay all of this is Antiquated this is all oldfashioned you know why cuz this is all in the time that they used to write T they used to write formal agreements but today what do we do at a v you eat cake right and you bring in a special cake from bar park with the cream in it and you pay $80 that's all you do right nothing more than that or K I mean okay it's very nice you give out sugar right how much does the sugar cost already it's not Cy C what candy okay it's a little bit more expensive but still not you know is it binding cholate chocolate right but there's no you don't write anything right there's no sare so you'll say you know in the olden days when they used to write you had you had um but now you know nobody's giving their word nobody's promising anything it's just you know they the they think it's time to get engaged and you know how long could it how many times could they go at already how many times could they go to the same you know to the same Lounge in the Brooklyn Marriott so they decide they're going to go they're going to get engaged but is anybody committing to anybody did anybody you know you know take a pledge I commit to so what's is a person allowed to break an engagement today so let's look what ra Feinstein writes now raos Feinstein is writing about a completely different topic he wants to know like this a boy in girl are going out and you're interested in that girl are you allowed to you know try to steal her start you know you call her behind his back and you're going to go out with her without him knowing about it are you allowed to do that or is that you know like right imagine if uh you know we order from Carlos and Gabby right imagine if there was a guy intercepting all of Carlos and Gabby's phone calls oh you want you want uh you want fix no problem you know and they intercept all the phone calls and they bring food that you were going to order from car gab you know they can't do that it's only they're you know they're undermining someone else's business so if a person is going out with the girl can another guy come along and you know steal the girl at what point could you not you know at what point is it the other guys what point is it his says like this they went at one time doesn't mean anything you could you could uh should not get involved in somebody else's you know sh process but if somebody wants to and they feel you know that's the one for you're you're allowed to if they go out twice you're allowed to if they go out 100 times you're allowed to as long as they have not officially announce the engagement but once the and announce the engagement you don't need you don't even need to give out sugar or candy or chocolate you don't even need to order that cake once the engagement is announced says ra the of and the rash is in full force so therefore once announc her engagement for you to go to try to steal the girl you're going to cause them to violate this and you're not allowed to do that is today even though we don't write and there's no formal K there's no formal Arrangement the engagement is binding why because people know about it people know about it doesn't matter ashkanazi doesn't matter what you do even if you say we're getting engaged but but you know what uh I'll decide later once the word is official you know once you put on only Simas once the word gets out it's over unless both parties agree okay are there any times that it's permitted to break a so we're going to see now whatever we're learning today where should only be nobody should know of such things all this should we enter should be should be and they should bring every so what we're learning today should be purely academic right what happens if is he becomes a bum he be he becomes a not if he was always a bum he becomes a bum writes in two places number 17 number 18 let's say a person swears he swears to somebody he says I swear I'm going to give you my daughter as a wife and then he finds out the is a bum yeah what does that mean he's he doesn't have a normal job you know he makes his money on yeah you don't have to keep the it's B the is off you're not bound by if the is M up if the becomes a bum the is off you could break it unless she wants it unless she's also a you know thank you now but be very careful okay I'll tell you a story now had the story not been in theud you know this would certainly not be for General audience but this is in the sh you ready for this basically K and kala get engaged and the kala comes screaming tried to be tried to to rape the Kal so they come to the the son of the this should be a classic case of became a bum Because by the way not only is someone who's engaged they can't even be in the same secluded room as the kala right can't even a Kala right if she's a to even to lay hands on her and comes with this report comes with this report that he Tred to be man so the son of the you can't be the sh because of that because he tried to but he didn't do it he didn't do it so you see but but he obviously a bad guy well maybe he would have done Chua right before that's what he said I what do you mean but he was secluded in the same room as her what kind of Ben is he that's right it's user says unfortunately not everybody knows the that it's absolutely forbidden for two people even if they're engaged to be a secluded in the same room and therefore as terrible as the thing he tried to do what what are we going to do we're going to punish him for his Mak for his bad thoughts he didn't do anything she was smart enough to scram nothing happened well cuz he he demonstrated one time that he wanted to do something so the next day he went back to yiva and he learned the BL gamar and hopefully he won't do it again okay surprising right says the son of the you can't break this you know why who said he tried to be man an she said she's not a kosher witness she's only one witness and it's relevant to her she's not gay she's not believed we don't believe her we don't believe a word she says and therefore the son says ultimately he says he could break it for other reasons but I'm just giving you an illustration just because the guy one time in the middle of learning gamar went downstairs to have a coffee break you know and you don't he's not the next doesn't necessarily mean he's okay now what we have over here is something very fascinating and that is we have a whole long laundry list of possible reasons that the P can discuss of why it would or would not be permitted to break a give you an example everybody told thean she was 26 years old right turns out she's yeah so is that uh or or she thought now all of these cases not so simple not so simple you could break it unless she's much much older you know the case I gave is pretty clearcut but the P can talk about if you thought she was 26 and she was really 39 Sam surface says he can't can't break it you got to do your research before okay again this is not ask your local Orthodox Rabbi okay I'll give you another case she she was wearing a mask turn that her nose is a little too long for your liking right or you thought the guy epis you know he could learn something he can't even open up a BL gamar he can't even he doesn't even know how to hold the right side up that's the one case that you could break the if you thought if you told the look I'm G to give you some money you'll be able to sit and learn and turns out the guy he doesn't even know a gimm from a the Ben it's off if if the chooses what if you know the guy turns out to be a mug so obviously in that case you know but the Pim discuss literally dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens of potential cases where maybe yes maybe not okay RAB we're going to conclude this year with one of oh just give me one more moment one more moment what about if both parties agree to break the sh should or is it better not to it's still better not to it's still better not to in fact in still even even if both sides agree in fact many G say and I know Ina that's what uh rash used to advise that better to get married and have a get than to break an engagement and that's brought down by many po doesn't mean this is how we but it just goes to show the severity of the inion that there's a common expression common expression better to tear up better to tear up better to have a get than to tear up a t okay you never get a anymore no you could You're Still Still anyway they still give a yeah RAB said just two other then we're gonna get to an amazing story what do he do with all the gifts you know everybody came they gave gifts at the at the V or the gave gifts to the kala the kala gave gifts to thean everything has to be returned everything has to be returned in fact if let's say the side paid for a or the if the kala wants to break it she got to pay the side for all they're expensive let's say the K's family flew in and people paid money to fly in the expenses have to be uh covered okay these are some of of the relevant but besides on top of this if it's broken even though obviously there's no divorce there's no get AAR should be written it's called a that the writes there's no official but at least each party should have a document in their hand you don't want to have a situation you know they get married and um that another case well you get engaged to someone turns out they were engaged before you didn't know about it okay so these are all cases the recommends that in all these situations one should write what we call a you go to a r the r writes a this way in the future if anybody wants to know you have now what does it say in the it says both parties forgive the other party for any embarrassment any shame and they agree to forgo any Financial Obligations okay RAB turn over your sheets to the last page meet Benet okay you have the picture over here Benet or in Latin or in English his name was Marcus Benedict okay but I don't think that's what they how they he got called up to the Tyra he got called up Benet was born in 1753 he passed away in 1829 and he was the acclaimed godar in Moravia for 40 years what you can't ask this question I have no idea you know no it's uh it's where no it's it's where Hungary is today Hungary didn't exist then it's uh the Czech Republic and we're Hungary we're hungry in the Czech Republicans okay here's a story you ready at the age of 60 years old the godar Ben he became became very weak and he started losing his strength and his Sun rights he began suffering various ailments until the doctor said if you want to live any longer you need to go to the Spas you know a few hundred years ago they used to think they didn't believe in medicine at least that in that respect they were smart right they they thought Spas cured everything right they thought what still do yeah SP you know you go hot baths fine yeah so they told him go to kbad go to cbad so he goes to kbad and T what yeah he goes to kbad 1829 he comes to Kad he starts drinking the water he never had such terrible water in his in his life as soon as this what he called a cursed water entered his body he began suffering from terrible cramps and his arteries began to weaken and his ligaments began to weaken 17 days later from the time he comes to the spa unfortunately the god passes away 1829 what happens of course he wants to be buried in the city right his his children want to bury him in the city that he was the RV where was he the r in nikolsburg N nikolsburg he was the r of n of nikolsburg he was the student of R of nickelsburg and his whole life we had there were testimony he always said he wanted to be buried in nickelsburg and not only that one time his wife was a big sadas now by the way his wife always pray her whole life that she should die first so that he could say Kadesh for her and learn M and she died a year before he went and one time his wife said you know you see that spot of land right next to of nickelsburg I want to be buried there that's what his wife says to the r the r said no that spot is for me I want that spot you'll be buried next to my feet he says you'll be fine so he passes away and everybody knew he wanted to be buried in nichels book The only thing was the law of the land is you can't transfer a body yeah they believe you know bodies carry contamination and you needed to have a permit to move the body so they didn't know what to do so they decide they're going to move the body to the nearest city what's the nearest city Lin they have they go to liat and they're about to put the body into the grave they give terrible eulogies and they whail and they cry and ra the son of announces I want everyone to know that this is not where we're going to bury the godar it's only temporary until we get a permit I don't know how long the permit's going to take but we're not burying him here permanently it's only temporary he he makes that announcement before the burial he makes that announcement after the burial and after the burial R together with the rim in nickelsburg they set out to try to get a permit to move the body to to nickelsburg first they go to uh they go to V somewhere in the Austrian Empire they don't want to give the permit then they go to Prague and they get a permit and the permit says like this you can move him but you need to first put his body in a coffin and before you do that you need to Def fumigate the body with all kinds of oils and spices and minerals and then you need to take the coffin and Def fumigate the outside of the coffin then you need to put that coffin in another coffin then you need to take that coffin and sprinkle it with oils and spices and all kinds of uh smokes and then you need to put the second coffin in a third coffin and then you could take the body move it from to n to Nickel F what happens they come to the Kev and the people are up in arms you're not moving him we were the God is buried in our s and M he's kind of his M he's buried here had it we want him to be buried here after all everybody knew that said that after he passes away anybody who needs anything you need a you know you needa you need a you need good health right you come to his C we want the address to be in our city they said okay very nice that's nice that what you want but he wanted to be buried in nickelsburg so they take it to the RV the r said who needs think you are do you have ack from any responsible r that you can move his body I mean we don't just move bodies we've been trying our whole life to preserve the kadha of the Mason you can't just move him and then the rub said a very smart thing you know if you want to get people scared you don't say it says in how to do it you don't say what do you say you never know this might not be good you know Superstition it might arouse the wrath of Hashem woo right and then everyone's going to get all scared once you know bring up something superstitious you know as long as it's not once it's Superstition people are going to get very scared so that scared the RAB nickelsburg so they didn't know what to do so they sent the question to the three the son of the in prag and theer and theer gets a letter and he said what do you want from me you already sent it to you know the two great Lions but I'll be you know I'll be a small Cub next to them let me tell you what I think now the raban and nickelsburg presented the following four arguments to their case to be able to move the body of the first argument was look everybody knows that a dead person a mace feels comfortable among when a person goes it's more comfortable to be among the family that's what the pum say it's more comfortable so therefore his wife's in nickelsburg his mother's in nickelsburg his children are buried in nickelsburg his grandchildren are buried in nickelsburg he probably want to be buried in nickelsburg and not only that he said his whole life he always told his wife he wanted to be buried next to so that was his desire and we have the testimony of Gabriel IET no relation to IET who was with him on his last days and every night before Benet went to sleep Benet said I want to be buried in nickelsburg and if not nickelsburg at least Prague and rali his son when he buried him he said I'm only burying him temporarily until I'm able to move him so the one who did theur the one responsible for theur he said I don't want to bury him here and finally he's buried in some in nickelsburg their mountains around there no one could access it nobody could D in there bring him to bring him to nickelsburg say I don't agree with any of your arguments [Music] say first of all like this okay if you want to take a look if you want to follow it inside this is uh number sheet number seven the second column the second paragraph Samer says you claim this Rabbi Rabbi Gabriel iash says that he heard from benette that he wants to be married buried in nickelsburg who is this guy Rabbi Gabriel iish it's anyway he's a resident of nickelsburg of course he wants his Rabbi to be buried in nickelsburg he has no credibility he's he's biased of course he wants his Reby to be buried in nickelsburg so therefore what what do we have to do to Gabriel iish we need to tell him have a nice day we don't accept anything you're saying he's not g so you say but maybe you'll say you'll pull the following trick says that the rebi said he wanted to be buried in nickelsburg and if not nickelsburg Prague now R Gabriel IID couldn't care less if the rebi was in Prague so regarding what the rebi said that he wanted to be buried in Prague we could believe him so once you take him out of the ground to move him to prag now he's ad now you can move him to nickelsburg because that's where his family is but says no he's still not g he's still biased because Prague is a lot closer to nickelsburg thanin then say further I everybody knows he said that he wants to be buried next to the Reber of he obviously gave up on that because if in his dying words he said either bury me nickelsburg or Prague what do you mean or Prague don't you want to be buried next to the Reber of scha obviously you know he wasn't so confident that that would happen obviously he was m on that so once he's M on that he's but says the argument that his son rali gave that he buried him on condition that he would move him that is a very powerful argument and because of that argument I am going to allow you to move him and the is about to give a and all of a sudden in the middle of writing this chuva this resp the chuva takes a 90 Dee turn and says but you know what thinking about it a little bit more you know what I'm worried about you know all the Jewish communities in in Europe they used to have the cemetery right next to the city and the government always wanted to raise a cemetery and move the graves to some Far Away place cuz they wanted to make fields and place for animals to graze and the Jewish people were always up in arms you know they wanted to protect the sanctity of the so what are we going to do now you're going to take out the godar and you're going to move him you know what the government's going to say you guys are a bunch of phonies yeah you believe in the sanctity of the mace so look what you're doing to your Rabbi says I'm afraid this is going to cause the destruction of all the in Europe and therefore you're allow to move him but thinking about it again if you could make sure that they'll realize this is just a onetime dispensation then uh you could do it but wait a very strange response of usually was very definitive and decisive in in fact said about himself that if he gave aak and he brought a proof from a gamar if you slugged up the proof he would still say theak you know why cuz his pack has nothing to do with the proof cuz he feels he has such Heavenly assistance to come to the right conclusion that it doesn't matter if all of his proofs are slugged up God gave him the to say the right and here the is going back and forth and waiting and maybe yeah maybe not comes the son of theer and he offers the following eyewitness testimony while he was writing this chuva he fell asleep and he had a dream and in the dream who came to him none other than banet and he says I want to tell you something your is correct you're allowed to move me but not yet because many years ago I was engaged to the rabbitson of lenat and we were engaged for 7 months and because the sh was broken even though I was allowed to they have a certain complaint against me that I need to be buried next to her for seven months the amount of time that we were engaged for so you know what you're right wait seven months and that's what happened seven months later to the date gave the definitive to move to move Benet and on Adar we have here in Ador in the year T actually it was then the year T was moved seven months to the day after the received word from Benet that it was time to move now there are different versions of the story some say Benet was engaged to this girl and that's what you'll see in the account of others say once gave a to break but the Lio tonight I think is more even more important than the details of the of the binding nature of an engagement is the idea of rakov ketki that we started with rakov ketki writes in a footnote we didn't read it yet in number 16 ROV writes you know why the says that once a boy and a girl have a v they should get married and they're obligated to get married because he said he would and if a person says something a person commits to do something that alone is binding that alone a person has to treat very seriously you know we live in a time that people use words very freely and in a sense words have very little meaning but when you look at the and you see that words actually have very strong meaning they're binding there's something that a person has to abide by that's a very important limo a very important lesson that we could take from here have a wonderful evening you've just experienced another Torah class brought to you by Torah anytime.com