Parshas Terumah: Don't Put Your Kids (or Yourself) in a Box

this Tower class is brought to you by torahanytime.com welcome everyone we have very important topic tonight powershots truma of course the shuriman safer shemais are sponsored by our dear friends Dr zakim's mother now um the shirim of are being sponsored by the Israeli family of Great Neck Lilo andishmas their father who is nifter this week and they should be a male social for the whole family tonight's year is sponsored by my good friend of ranana Paul Friedman Lil Wayne's his father's first yard side and Joseph avraham banyashaya when I was in arts Israel uh Dr Mr Friedman contacted us about um giving a Shirley Elena shmasai so on this occasion the week of his father's yard said and be a male Social Service okay now another thing is um if in case you don't have this safer on Purim you should it's highly recommended by the experts first of all even if you got it last year you probably don't remember where you put it or you might have given it to your brother-in-law now your brother-in-law definitely doesn't remember where he put it and he didn't even look at it yet so you could actually get it and give it to him again and he won't even remember and that's not only the English safer this is the other edition of the uh promo for this Farm also the safer in Russian is available okay the plastic says you should take from me truma Mayes call Ish from every man I assure youthvenolibai whose heart compels himasi So today we're going to speak about a very important topic not only raising children but more importantly raising yourself we know that a college book who gave Claudius and he gave us 613 mitzvahs and we have to observe all of them we can't really say well these work out for me and those I'm not so into but the Torah is one entity so we have to be macabil and be shimer all 630 mitzvahs nevertheless we do find in the gemara that certain Amur Rahim emphasized and focused on particular midspace so for example the gemara says in shabbosi says that I was always mockbid that my clothing be worn properly neatly presentably also ravnakman said I should be rewarded that I was makayam the three sudaisan Shabbos now who isn't makaim the three sudas means he was very MacBook on it even in extenuating circumstances no matter what the occasion he was always mocked on three sudas and Shabbos rabihuda says I should be rewarded that I was uh I dabbed with great intensity and great analysis said I never walked for almost with my head uncovered rev shesha says I was always Makai midfielen ramnachman says I was always makaim sitsis your father rabba what was he most careful in oh he was most careful and sits us you got to keep all the mystery swimming he's the most careful and sisters so from here we learn that even though you have to be careful in every Mitzvah there still is room that a person is allowed to put his heart into certain areas more than other areas so what exactly is this idea so the question is if a person has discretion to say you know this is my Mitzvah or this is my specialty how is this a person supposed to know where to put emphasis in other words uh I don't know should I should I be more madactic and citized it can fill in or should I should I say Creation with more Avast Hashem or should I be more into sukha or should I learn more but you know should I learn more bacchaeus a person is given an allowance of certain of personal expression you know you don't have to be cookie cut not everybody has to be exactly the same so how is a person supposed to know how to put emphasis Focus emotion so we have a murderous in the al-qa money the murder says the son of the sister of Allah he had a very beautiful voice so here uh so Revelation would say he or my son go Daven for the amay Ahmed kabira sashem from your wealth from your talent which means like this that if a person has a particular ability that's a signal that it's worthwhile to express yourself in that area and the matters tells the story there was a man by the name of navis he had a very beautiful voice and he used to go up to be Ole Regal and he would be the khazan in the great synagogue when uh during Alia Regal one time he didn't go up then how many times I have to go up they don't pay me enough it's not worth it it's too much of a schlep one time he didn't go up and they they ratted on him somebody made up a story about him and he was destroyed why was he destroyed why was he punished because he didn't go up to honor Hashem from his talent gazals say that if you're a regular no one will desire your land that means if you're not oily regular people are gonna covet your land that's what happened to novice uh your of them wanted his Vineyard and somebody ratted on him and ultimately novice was killed so we see there's a certain idea that if you have a talent if you have a good voice you have a certain ability you have a knack for something you have a a capability in a certain area you should utilize that and use that as a directional signal of how to guide yourself in life it's interesting actually a good chunk of today's share comes from the safe air likute Friedman now I saw this many years ago this is a mimer from I'm going to tell you in a second it's a member from tuftshin samachtess it's a member from uh you know 14 years ago I wasn't sure what to do with it but uh we tied it in a certain way this evening he's mediac if you look at number three and say from malachim what happened to navis two guys two Lawless guys got up they testified about novice that he cursed the king and he cursed God and they stoned him to death says why was his punishment for not being Ole Regal that he was accused of cursing Hashem from here we see that if somebody has the ability to use their voice to sing tashem to praise Hashem if you don't use it if you don't use it then it's as if Hashem Creator gave you the ability to bless him so if you're not blessing him it's like you cursed him so if you have a talent let's say you could play the keyboard or let's say you have whatever ability you have whatever Knack you have no I don't like to do it I don't like to do it in public I don't like people have sometimes uh excuses that might not be fully legitimate that if a person has an ability one should use that as a directional signal of where to Place their emphasis on so with this we come to the really the epic words of the villain again I'm sure you're all familiar with this but it's kadai to see a little bit of it inside this Shear is about child rearing but also about in general how to how a person should guide themselves in this world how to serve Hashem the public says train the youth according to his way foreign he will not depart from it so here apparently is a little bit concerned that you could train a kid so long as he's in your house and the moment he leaves your house he's Off to the Races so it's important to make sure that whatever you give him is something that will be sustained even when you're you know you're not hovering over him and that Derek is you need to do based on your son's path what does that mean says the Vilma going it is impossible to break your darach meaning the muzzle that you are born on like the gemara says if you were born in the muscle of sadek then you will be just you just won't be able to be crooked or if you were born in if you're born when Mars was uh prevalent when Mars was dominant so the gemara says you have three choices either you'll be uh murderer or you'll be a butcher or you'll be a Maya but you're not going to sell used cars and you're not going to own nursing homes those are not the options you have three things you could be you could either use your ability uh Latif and you could be a Maya or you could be in between you could be a butcher or you could be a murderer but you're not going to all of a sudden become uh you know you're not going to start you're going to ride resources or you're not all of a sudden going to uh go into accounting those are not going to be good options for this guy so basically every person is born with a certain nature every person is born with a certain tendency or inclination and you ain't gonna change that there's not changing you're not going to say okay let me work on myself and some people are going to be calm people they're not all of a sudden going to become all fiery you could do whatever you want you could knock them over the head you could say kid why are you davening with enthusiasm why aren't you conversing with the enthusia the kid is common it's not changing or you can have some people they're just very passionate very aggressive so so what the the father is going to say take a bring him into show you're going to put one seat belt around his feet one seat belt around his arm put a muzzle say kid stay where you are they'll stay where he is for 17 years and as soon as he's out of sight he's going to be running uh out of control so basically people are born with certain inborn Tendencies which means really that bahira is somewhat mitigated and limited basically you have free choice within your name nature now within your nature the job is to harness channel the nature in a way where you use your ability and tendency Latif so you this guy's gonna shed blood so either you could become a murderer or you could become a mile but you have to channel it in the right direction so train the youth out based on his path based on his nature based on his Tendencies then gam kiazkin even when he grows old Mena he's not going to turn away from it you know it's like saying um you can't be basically you can change a person's inborn nature and the rashiva of tells with Aaron David Goldberg in his conscious he says that this perhaps is the explanation in when Davin that the next leader of Cloudy Soul should be Hashem God should appoint the God of all spirits of all Tendencies should appoint for All Flesh is a man over the community and Rashi explains you know Hashem that everybody has their own personality and their own Tendencies Place upon them appoint a manheg who could tolerate everyone in other words recognize everybody is a different nature you can't change people's nature and therefore Hashem make sure you have a leader who could identify the nature of every member of the Jewish people and guide them in that path okay so which means that the first thing that a parent has to do is they have to be able to identify what is the nature of my kid because you don't know what the nature of your kid is and you just you go to a parenting class okay if the kid misbehaves count to ten then put a paper bag over their head then put them in a playpen you know you can follow an absolute protocol the first step in being mechanic children is you need to know clearly what is the nature of my child what are the Tendencies of my child what are the inclinations of my child what is he interested in what are his talents what are her abilities if you can't identify it you are exempt from the Mitzvah go make a living bring home money and have your wife bring up the kid but if you or vice versa but if you don't know who your kid is you can't even begin being how you supposed to be mechanic somebody that in other words harnessing channeling not not saying x y and z foreign he brings a few examples he says if you have a kid who's stubborn like a mule and the rebbe or the parent is you know having a very hard time so you could look at the kid right now as a stubborn kid or you could say you know the kid has the Mida of stubbornness imagine if I channel that Mida that he should be stubborn about his Yiddish kite about his observance that is addicted to Mitzvahs then the day will come no wind in the world will sway him he will be medactic in halacha no Come What May in other words don't view it as a negative character trait view it as a trait that you're going to channel their stubbornness to be stubborn about the right things well let's say you see a kid he has a temper you see people like that sometimes a kid by the way you have to start picking up on a kid's tendency from when they're two days old they already have a nature you know I have some kids they're born they come out they're calm you know then they open their eye they give a little whimper a little cry you give them a bottle just you hold them you're at ease and some kid they cut out screaming crying colicky they're not it's right away you could tell right you could almost tell right away so if you have somebody a child who's very angry they're yes anger is a bad Meda but that doesn't mean it's a bad child because cos could be channeled uh for the good how is that possible he brings from the sifri Kabbalah that somebody who is angry could be extremely fiery about Fila fiery about us so in other words you channel the media of Cass to Mitzvah samasam but don't assume don't automatically assume okay this is a bad trade this is a bad characteristic this is an evil tendency no Channel harness their inborn and innate Midas and personality traits for uh for the good so again if so if a kid has a caspateva so he could utilize it and channel it is to fire himself in the fiery uh passionate service of Asha so now we're learning a very important thing that is really like training you're training them to use their ability they have certain ability you're training them to use that but if you're sort of coercing them to do something that's not within their ability so you're not training them you're just basically tying them up and putting them in a cage and you're treating them like an animal and that's not that will not stick with them Kasha yaskin which really means that it's a parent's responsibility to be able to identify exactly what the nature of the kid is and send them to a Yeshiva that caters to their personality just because you went to a certain Yeshiva growing up or you're affiliated with a certain approach and you're going to impose that on the child so it could be criminal because that approach may have worked for you but that does that's not for your child your child is a different entity your child has a different set of DNA says revolba in the alley Shore that the same way you cannot train a child to do things that are against his nature and you can't train a child to do things that are not within his personality because again what you're doing is you're you're you you have to develop their inborn ability and channel their inclinations it is very important not to expect of a child something that they can't understand yet and is beyond their level because then also you're not training them the definition of is to use their inborn capability so if they're too young for what you're trying to explain to them or they can't appreciate what you're trying to what you're trying to tell them it's also not within their abilities so you're not harnessing anything you're not channeling anything it's beyond their ability some examples that uh revolva gives in his safest Rio Binion is often mothers say oh my child is so clean I've trained my kid from two years old that he showers every day and he takes a bath every day and after he eats he cleans his hands and I trained him to be so hygienic and now all the expert in child rearing the secular experts say the best way to destroy a little child is to insist that he's always clean it is the single worst thing you could do to a child this is not from reverba this is secular parenting experts that parents that are you know super insistent that the child is always immaculately clean that is the um one-way ticket to abysmal child rearing why because the child needs expression one day the child will figure out on his own if he has a normal father a mother that he should take a shower every day but you do not have to teach it to them before they uh could go you know if the kid is dirty and it's not going to be healthy that's a different situation that's an example that revolver gives again don't say I went to Ashira and the rabbi said not to be the kid um yeah understand what I'm saying he says that um if you look at number 12 um about 15 lines out he says well accepted today endorse this if you insist that the child be immaculately clean it stunts his development the time will come when the kid will take a shower on his own there is no child in the world that bathes now because his parents made him insane that he has to brush his teeth or clean you tell them you know you tell them you want to have clean teeth so it's important to brush your teeth twice a day and floss yeah like like any parent like any kid is actually going to floss but that's a different story I have to do that it's brought to you by the by what I don't know don't tell us by Dr Adler right thank you I charge for the dental commercials Okay so but that's the general approach and revova emphasizes that the definition of is for the long term many parents think okay I want to get my child to do something watch watch this oh do it now and he goes and doesn't or he or even worse you could force the child to go do it now the problem is so zavova when the child becomes a teenager they are scarred from the experience of their childhood you may never know it so just because you could get a child to do something it doesn't always mean it's worth it to get the child to do something the long run the long run means you need to develop a relationship of warmth and love with the child when he's young so that when he becomes a teenager or she becomes a teenager and they're they're going through the challenges of life they will come to you and they will feel close to you and they won't want to let you down because of the love you have for them it's not worth damaging that hamimos that warmth for the short term that you could get them to do what you think is important this second the eye has to be on the long run but the general idea is the definition of channeling harnessing the particular dealer need ability capability talents inclinations of one of a child and rev Goldberg quotes an amazing Cipher I don't know where in the writings of looks I'm sorry for it is he doesn't say we're on the exam Services he quotes it from the safer sips says let's say you have an asteroid Azrael do you have an Esso Orchard in your backyard oh no no but if you did and you had you know how us Reagan grow they they look you know like a lemon a little bumpy but what if you put around the estrog as it's growing uh like a cast um custom no not like a perm costume let's say you put around the S drug you put uh the fuss uh a mold and you shaped it like a heart or you shaped it like a rectangle or an octagon so then the asteroid will take the shape of the mold yeah puzzle agarton agarto okay I'm not gonna say what I don't know they do it should be sitting in the middle I don't know you know how to do that yeah the gamara says if you make a mold on the S drug the estrogus puzzle so the Sam Surfer says an S drug is like him he's possible no you be like you and if you're gonna say I'm gonna put a mold around my kid I want my kid to be a b c and d just the way I am the way that person is then you're destroying the kid the same way if you put an escrow in a mold in a box you can put an asteroid in a box you can't put your kid in a box and you can't put yourself in a Box nobody develops in a healthy way if they're put in a box and the same way you can't mold the shape of an asteroid you cannot mold the shape of your child you have to cultivate the natural shape that your child will take you have to help him get there that's the lesson of God like there's another interesting gamara and I hope uh it's okay if we mention this if you look at number 13u Adam is if you want to give sadaka you know how to give more than a fifth they also made a takana that up to 12 years old roll with your kid your uncle you want to learn no I don't want to learn I want to play baseball okay I'll play baseball with you first and then we'll learn okay yeah fine after this one yako you ready to learn no now I want ice cream okay I'll get you ice cream and afterwards you learned yeah then you get them ice cream now I want Lego Lego first first you won baseball then ice cube no yeah so up to 12 you roll with the kid after 12 Joyride imoiav you go down into his life meaning says Rashi you hit him now I'm not getting into whether you're allowed to hit a kid or not we're not talking about that subject but basically Rashi is saying you gotta force it up to 12 you're patient after 12 you insist the martial has a different definition of this the martial understands the gemara that teaching a livelihood is called the house of their life and the martial says up to 12 you try to get your kid to learn after 12 the kid's not being successful learning so he's not being successful learning you teach the kid a trade so let's get the general idea of the Marsha Marsha is learning that the takana of Usha is not that in they were masaki that you deal patiently with the child until 12 and after 12 you're insistent on the learning the tacono of Usha was you have to deal with the child according to his ability and if his ability is not in learning it's in working then at a certain time you need to recognize that and guide them in that path which means like this that the definition of is recognizing what is my child able to do what is he happy doing what will he be successful doing right now at this age yeah the the learning he's too young for it let him play let him enjoy himself at this age this is the appropriate age to be learning at a certain time if one child shows promise and learning and shows interests and shows enthusiasm you help guide him along that path if another child is not really taking to it then you guide him in the path of a trade yes the martial is saying that not everyone should be sitting and learning I don't know if I'm allowed to say that I would never say that who am I I'm just telling you what the martial says okay so martial says you have to recognize what the person's capability is and by the way before a person could train their children the person has to recognize about themselves what are my abilities what are my talents what are my interests before you could even begin to train somebody else a person has to know themselves fortunate is the person who picks a path in life that's conducive to their personal ability okay here's the problem so far especially based on the film a guy it seems like that when you're teaching your child or you're choosing a path in life you have to make sure that you're not going against your basic nature because it's impossible to break your basic nature you know if you're going to uh if you say you know have uh spilkus and you can sit in one place for more than three minutes then maybe sitting in a coil for 12 hours a day is not the the occupation for you if you can't sit for three minutes then what you're either gonna spend 11 and a half hours in the coffee room maybe you should find a job they're gonna be on the move and if you're a calm person and a focused person then uh maybe you shouldn't be handling real estate where your phone's gonna be buzzing every five and a half seconds so maybe a different occupation is good for you the bottom line is you gotta Channel your ability and your focus but you can't break it comes rebellion and he writes in something called settle Kata you ever hear that is like the igares hamuser of Legends he writes Man was created to break his nature that's what you're hearing this world for you're angry you get angry about everything you're here in this world to calm down to overcome that every little thing that somebody just bothers you you're here in this world to take a deep breath and train yourself to become you don't care about anything you're just level-headed it doesn't matter somebody could say a joke somebody could say something sad you sit there like a statue your job in this world is to work on being emotional whatever you are your job is to break your Teva so for example let's say and especially he says you should do that when you're 18 years old so if you're stubborn break your nature 40 days in a row every single thing you want to do don't do it and that will do the trick let's say you're lazy every day for 40 days set your alarm clock for 5 a.m you jump out of bed you jump into you run to shul you do everything besries us you're a bison you're embarrassed for 40 days time you scream the Downy on top of your lungs The Man was created to break their nature so on the one hand the gra was saying that you know you're you're basically stuck in your nature you're stuck in your Teva and all you could do is channel it for the good but if you're lazy you're going to be lazy so now channel the laziness to not doing a virus or something like that or if you're an angry person you're just going to be angry but use your passion for trila for Torah and says the purpose of life is to go against your nature and to break your bad character so you know what you would say it's not a contradiction there's the garage DeGraw the grass you go with your tendencies the gra the father of the beneath Yeshiva you go with your nature fight your nature I'm not sure how if you would have guessed that that's what the respective approaches would be but the problem is the girl agrees to reveling himself writes on the Posse grab a hold of muster do not slack enough why nitsaraha guarded preserve it look at this man's life what is life to break your nature some people are very shy they can never read but maybe they're going to say no or maybe they're not going to pick up the phone or maybe they're gonna I don't know what so your job in life is to overcome your fears overcome your anxieties whatever you have a difficult time doing break it do the right thing says the girl that's the purpose of life has the purpose of life so it seems like somewhat of a contradiction on the one hand the grass says you have a basic tendency you're not you're going to spill blood you're gonna smooth blood so you might as well become a mile why doesn't the grass say you're going to spill blood well overcome that overcome that and and so white tablecloths girl doesn't say that so why is he saying the purpose of life is to break your nature I don't think so probably mess up the kid says it's not asira okay and you could think about this more I'm not saying this is the definitive answer he says number 20. of course a person has to break whatever negative character traits they have if you have a negative character trait if you're a angry person a lazy person you're too shy you're too aggressive you gotta break that you're too arrogant you're too desirous you got to break that but the question is in your general path should I should I focus on Eon should I Ferguson bikias should I focus on should I focus on filling should I dive in for the Ahmad should I should I I don't know what everyone has their own ability the answer is you should identify what you enjoy and what you're good at and that should be your general approach the gemara tells us a person only learns Tyra what he enjoys learning the samuraibo would say that he never forgot anything in learning in his life except for one thing except he cannot remember what his bar mitzvah Chateau was about why because he was forced to learn it so he doesn't like it but something that you choose to learn on your own something that you're interested on your own is much more enjoyable and the gamara goes on to record a story about shim and barabi was sitting before rebe and there was a question what they should learn next uh Levy silhouette says let's learn to heal him and Levy foursome and he brought out atihilam and then they got to the possible Rabbi stopped he says a person can only learn what they want to learn so it's interesting points out on the one hand which luckish says devray Torah will only be miscayimus if somebody kills themselves over the learning only someone who mamish kills himself over the learning will be successful in the learning on the other hand now this is very interesting you ready for this look at number 24. foreign rejoice o youth and your youthsaka enjoy make your heart glad in your young age does that sound like right it says rejoice in your youth be happy in in your young age follow the path of your heart go after your eyes you'll be punished for all this so first it says basically go whatever you check go check out the world and and go after it and then it says but you should know you're going to get punished for it so the gemara says that the first part of the pasta because the Sahara talking be happy in your you know rejoice in your youth that's the at Sahara you're going to be punished for it that's theater type says no the first part of the puzzle is talking about tamatara Rejoice young man in your youth in learning Torah vitive glad in your heart and in your younger years that's referring to the right follow the path of your heart that's referring to divretara says the native this person is talking about different Torah why does it say follow the way of your heart that sounds like you know just go after your heart says the general paths Hashem will not be the same by two people some people are going to be more into davening some people are going to dive in longer schministrates more focus more emotion other people are going to be more into Illuminator other people are going to be more into other people are going to be more into smears haloshan and that's okay like the gemara says your father what was he more careful in because discretion is given everyone is a unique personality and one should allow their personality to guide them again you can't be lenient you can't be you can't say well I don't that's not so important or that I'm gonna I'm gonna be not so careful about you have to be careful about everything but the question is you know what's going to be your pet mitzvah you should follow your tendency and your personality but says in a sieve not only in midvoice in talmatira as well Ain called Derek limo Chavez not everyone's going to learn the same shall I learn halacha yeah you should learn all of that but what should you focus on like we spoke about time you know there's a general healthy diet you know you got to learn Musser you got to learn but in terms of your main learning a person has a certain discretion of what they enjoy learning and it's interesting if you look at number 27 the shave at most so we spoke about this at length shavua's time there's an idea that if you have a desire it's interesting he says something somewhat contradictory if you like a certain type of learning you like agarita you like you like lambdas you like mysticism you like makshava then that's a good sign even though you need to learn all of the above that you were sent down to this world to learn that and it's okay you know I remember in Yeshiva there was somebody who's learning the sugya of karka for like 20 something years it's like one bladder gamara I don't know his you know he came down in this gilgal to learn that sugya so a person's allowed to say that this interests me this excites me this captivates Me Maybe I missed that you know last time around I'm here this time around to learn now that doesn't mean I don't have to learn how much I don't have to learn Michigan I'm just going to learn that no you need a healthy diet but in terms of focus you could utilize your your interest as a barometer and a guideline of of what to focus on but it's interesting he also says that if you find yourself very weak in a particular mitzvah that's also a barometer you were sent down in this world to focus on that mitzvah so some people say you know look I love davening and I love hassed but I'm not so into gemara I'm not so into learning huh maybe you're sent down into this world to do that or I love all Mitzvah it's just you know I have a hard time with davening or I have a hard time with hassed that's also a barometer so in a way it's conflicting you know in a way what you enjoy is a Brahma in a way what you're having a hard time is a barometer which might be another approach to what the girl is saying what should you focus on what's easy to me but you're also created in this world to break what's hard for you you know it's like uh and and uh by the way the following is really oh yeah even in somebody choosing a career foreign you're trying to guide by the way in terms of you can have a Mississippi Boy you could have a high school boy or a boy he's interested in more than London no you have to learn the longest because you know maybe at that age he has to give it a shot but you have to let him Express his personal interests in learning if you break it you're you're doing irreparable damage to your child I understand there's a mahalak and there's a messiah but on the other hand there's also a child here there's also a human being here and that human being needs cultivation not coercion this is really an amazing application of what we're learning writes that we know we have bittaj is going to give us paranasa whether we work or not Hashem still going to give us paranasa but we have to do ishtados what career should I Embark upon as my histadless to make a paranasa says the same way a lion has is a carnivore right a lion doesn't say um I would like some spinach and some a regular in my salad they're not he's not going to you know taking getting the salad mate with a nice dressing on a salad the lion there's a reason why God made the line with big teeth God gave the lion big teeth to eat meat and the seagull I was walking in the park the other day seagull has this long beak and I was watching the water was getting very agitated when the seagulls were going low why because the seagull pecks into the water picks up a fish a huge fish flies out so the seagull knows that the reason it has this long beat is to eat the fish the seagull's not going to go you know eating other things so that means everything in the animal kingdom has specific tools God created each animal with the tools to get their paranosa in the way with with the tools that God created them so Hashem gave certain Birds tools to eat a certain way and to eat certain food so to every human being should say my talent and my ability and my capabilities are the tools God gave me and therefore if God gave me these tools this is the career that Hashem groomed me for so in other words if you want to know what career should I embark on person should understand their ability and their tools and say well just like a lion knows what it needs to eat and an alligator knows what it needs to eat alligators don't eat worms they don't need little tiny things alligator eats right because they have they have the tools so you have to identify what are my tools what are my abilities and then say if Hashem gave me that ability then Hashem wants me to use that and actually this is a very um meaningful and satisfying approach to life in general recognizing that Hashem wants us to identify what our personal ability is and whether it's in Taiwan Mitzvahs whether it's an even uh choosing a livelihood utilize that ability and capability to uh make a living in that way just um it's interesting the mayor Shapiro at one point in his life was unsure he was in the yes and apparently he was being summoned to take some kind of government position maybe in the parliament because he was a member of the Polish Parliament also he wrote a letter to Israel but he didn't know whether he should leave the Yeshiva a little bit because he was very successful in learning and in teaching tamidim and on the other hand he was a very uh an eminent speaker and he did he didn't know you know how to guide himself in life and the church cover basically said that you're very talented in limeratura and in uh developing hidushim and Hashem gave you the tools for that and he writes that to a person's mission is very a beautiful language man's mission in this world you know what God wants of you you could recognize what Hashem wants of you from the ability he gave you in other words if you want to know what does God want from me you need to look at you and from understanding you you can know what God wants from you and in a certain sense the education system sometimes doesn't allow us to see that in our children or to see it in ourselves you know there's a certain system and do this now and do that then do we have a minion by the way yes we have six people who didn't happen wow okay um but basically before we could do this and do that we have to identify what we're able to do what our talents are what our abilities are and the answer to what our College brojo wants from all of us can only the answer can only be found in US the answer what Hashem wants from a person can only be found within the person and it's the job of a parent to be able to identify what the child's ability is to help the child answer that question cesra Pinnacles Friedman this is all alluded to in the opening Posse in the six parasha the yakuli teruma you should take for me Raji says lilish me meaning everybody has an obligation to take truma truma means to give from their kayak and their talent to serve Hashem and if you want to know well how should i serve Hashem I know I know I have to give to Hashem but how am I supposed to know how to gift Hashem what path to take to give Hashem the answer is you know how you know what what you should give to Hashem what you have an inclination for well you have an interest in what you have a love for that is what God wants from you that's how he created you now as mentioned there's certain things we're going to all be weakened and that simultaneously we have to overcome those faults and those Tendencies and it doesn't mean well you know I love to give sadaka the fact that um arrogant well you know well everyone else will have to deal with that but I love to give to them so here is a sadaka no you love to give tadako you should continue to give sadaka and you gotta also like that says work on your gaiva work on your cast work on your taiva so it's a sort of a dual Road you take the general Road of your interests and simultaneously do what it takes to overcome your uh your Teva in areas that are not in sync with the Torah thank you very much everybody I wish you all afraid of and next week we'll have to do our special Purim share maybe the rabbi honest and ibischitz 2023 Edition have a wonderful evening [Music] yeah do we have a six Miss Fallon you've just experienced another Torah class brought to you by toraanytime.com