Panama Yarchei Kallah: Advice for Life - Our Relationship with Hashem, with Others & with Ourselves

this Tower class is brought to you by torahanytime.com advice for life it was an idea we sat together you could ask you know someone to give you the best advice online maybe this is most important of all but at least it's a lot of guidance we have to become better when we think about it you have to become better in our relationship with Hashem in a relationship with others and even not less but even more more important at least we have to become you have to become bitters with ourselves so this class has been dedicated [Music] foreign so so Ellie this is not the time to become shy Okay so so we're gonna say goodbye angels of life I will save around an elder and a an average of these two different what they call outlooks we do it we didn't purpose we probably could only sit and listen to our government you know you want more experience but the the combination of of what we're living and the experience of life will give us some Blended advice which I we believe which we call is a it's gonna come great so um let's start with Michael I mean rabbis one of the time please if we have to do we have to give an advice and you give in an advice now 200 is down to the people and this is going to be in turning time so you've given an advice on you know thousands and thousands of years in the guns they were built on not only how can we improve a relationship s [Music] is I think I heard a story once that the Great I don't know if we have enough adjectives for the mahariel diskin Yeshua laid this skin was considered a phenomenon by the great kidailim of yerushalayim as well as in Lithuania someone noticed that he was doing something that was a little bit odd but when you see a Adam Gadot do something that's different odd and you have proper you don't say anything you just think you observe and you think and you wonder he was making strange motions with his fingers while he was talking to people while he was doing other things and they till one day someone's standing behind him figured out what he was doing you'd hey above and then hey you'd cave off case in order not for a second to forget there were two brothers who were the Hadar in their time two brothers became the Rob of Frankfurt who wrote to say for hamachna hafla paneer fought and he was the rabbi of the Hassam Cipher his brother rep shmelka became one of the Great khasidh sharabis the hafla once visited his brother and he noticed something odd rep schmelker was learning and his son every few minutes came over and I don't know if he tapped him or touched him Abba I remember thank you five minutes later Abba I remember so what are you finally his brother walked over he said he's reminding you about something thank you he's reminding you about something and you're not taking care of it take care of it he says no no no no when I learn sometimes I learn so deep that I forget who gave the Torah I'm busy with what I'm learning so I have my son as a show mayor every five ten minutes he reminds me remember Hashem thank you I remember I remember two stories of two good Island who cannot be Messiah what's it all about we make a bracha that we showing them speak about it we talk about Hashem third person about him but you started off to him first you have to establish the Chevy Hashem then we go back into the herits mode that we talk about Hashem but he has to be so real attack he has to be constantly real one last thought this is that tells us the distances of the seven levels of Heaven Zion Rakim if you sit down and calculate that gemara one rakia to the next and to the next and to the next until you reach this rafim till you reach kise are covered somebody sat down and tried to do a regment it wound up in light years the distances you're talking about it would take a spaceship to reach kise if you could in those terms and yet for us with one word you're less than an inch away we can bring Hashem less than an inch away from us at all moments I'm working I'm living I'm breathing in in the bubble of this Bria where Hashem is is I can almost Reach Out caviar hell and touch him and yet those distances it depends on us oh famous last words of a speaker I'll end with this then you know he won't but I will end with this there was a person and I think it's a feeling some of us sometimes have I try so hard came to the balship so I try so hard I try so hard the more I try the further I feel I am it just doesn't work for me he says really are you a father he said yes what do you have he says I have a son you remember the day he began to walk he says yes how did it go he says well um he was crawling and he stood up next to the chair okay and then what did he do I said to him come to me and he was too scared so I stretched out my hands grabbed his hands and he started to walk says what'd you do then I let go for a second he said and what did he do he started to wobble and I'm here I mean and then you let go again and he walked and he got very close what'd you do then well I stepped back so you should have more room to walk and I stepped back and he started to get frustrated but he kept walking and then finally he threw himself at me and I said you always feel you're not close enough turn around and see how far you walked since the beginning the Baal shemtov tells the hasid every single time you think you get close Hashem steps away from you just to give you more room to grow you feel that you're further away but he wants you to come closer and closer he steps back because he's teaching you how to walk but if you stop turn around and see where you started and how far you came even in this I've spoke to people last night think that in 48 hours they've walked light years just turn around and see where you started and where you're up to and you'll realize how close you really are um a wise person doesn't speak before someone greater than them I'm sorry I shouldn't have been so this will be perhaps uh just to give you a little bit of a change of perspective until we hear the next fromita there's a lot of learning in our generation perhaps there's even more learning than in earlier Generations and yet at some times we say to ourselves you know we learn so much we learn so much there's a lot in our head how close is it to our heart meaning how much is the learning coursing through our veins how much is it really a part of us yeah we know so much we learn so much would say the greatest distance in the universe is the space between The Head and the Heart meaning we know so much but do we feel it do we live it do we breathe it is it coursing through our veins when I was a bahur and I came back from America Israel so I learned in an American style Yeshiva all the sheer more in English so I came back to America I wanted to become close to godalia Israel not so many of them spoke English so I decided I'm gonna go to the show of harava Victor Miller my parents lived on Avenue M and East 31st for those who know Flatbush rev Miller was a good 45 minute walk I went to him for three years rev Miller was a very unique personality rev Miller was different than any talmad that I saw because everything that was in his mind was in his heart he BR he breathed it he lived it it was a living reality Hashem wasn't an idea Hashem was in a reality the world to come was an idea it was a reality so the question is what could we do we're all learning what could we do to make the learning course through our veins so one suggestion that I found to be very helpful is make for yourself a rebbe what do I mean by that see we're not computers a human being is different than a computer a computer you want information you go to the computer you download something you put it on a disk you put the wire in and then you put it onto your device that's not what learning is learning is not amassing information you're a human being we're all human beings that means we're not computers we're emotional beings also the best way a very compelling way to get Torah into your heart you want to have a relationship with because then you're not dealing just on a purely intellectual level you're dealing with an on an emotional level human beings are impacted by relationships everybody knows that the greatest impact something has on us is when we have a relationship with them so it's not enough our scroll gamers are great and online shurim are great but you have to find tamide in your life rabbis it's not just about okay I stand up for the rabbi I give the rabbi a check these are all nice things you have to develop a relationship with be it your Rabbi be it your rebbe somebody someone in your life that you look up to in Torah in mitzvot Hashem develop a relationship with them that is a way to get all the Torah that you learn from your head into your heart and that will give a very big Aliyah it's gonna be amazing so once we we got piece of advice I want to switch now for the second advice Brew and uplift a relationship with the those people around us in our house in our community in general thank you maybe he goes first now okay everybody here is familiar with the safe enough foreign to use it's almost our constitution it sets the various that are in the safer sets the dimensions of our relationship to Hashem to the Torah to everything about us in the teachings of the vilnagan through his talmud with not live to publish this work therefore the safe was called nepheim enough which means like a matseva his son published it and in the few lines that he writes as a hakatama he writes that his father constantly constantly pushed him and told him we were created for the purpose of zulato of helping and assisting others talmud replies of zundel had a talmud where is where we saw salanta would say and there's a story behind it he would say I'll say it first in the Yiddish for the 1.1 people here who understand he would say if you buy yourself a steak it's a gosh mute if you buy a steak for someone else that's he was once coming home on the street and someone called out of the window my Rivers yet and he looked up at him and said why didn't you ask me if I ate supper you're worried about me did you think about my supper of course we have to be concerned with every part of someone but really feel feel his life I don't know if it was the dope in the market or someone else but the Dublin Market or someone like the Dublin tells that there was a rabbi in a city who had like the rabbis do they try to raise funds they try to raise funds there's two kinds of raising funds I'm not talking about institutional funds I'm talking about taking care of poor people someone just sent me ten thousand dollars because there's a boy in shul who's not so well the man who sent it to me is a best friend of that boy's father and he sent me the money he said never tell them it's from me but he may need money now I have this every few weeks thinking and caring about other people that's people need the rabbi sometimes to be to be that go between so this Rabbi was raising money and there was one man in the town who always helped and that man didn't have money but he did whatever he could and he gave one day he was tremendously much slash and became very wealthy of course he moved out of his Hut he moved out of that street and he built himself a beautiful mansion and he was doing wonderfully the rabbi said wow when he was poor he gave me money imagine now you're all laughing huh he comes to the house magnificent a butler answers they take him into one room the next room and finally he comes out and he says whatever his name was Bianco help me you always help me I'd love to I'm just not liquid right now you know I have investments in this try me after the month he said can I talk to you for a second he was this rabbi put his arm around his shoulder and he took him to the window it happened to have been Rush Hour people coming home from work he says what do you see he said the street what do you see on the street traffic what kind of traffic people people going back and forth he said wonderful come in and walked back into the house and there was a huge mirror against the wall and he says to him tell me what do you see I said what do you mean it's a mirror what do you see me could you tell me the difference between the window and the mirror they're both made out of glass see laughed right by you you know don't you no you take glass which is transparent and also translucent that lets the light through so you don't have a reflection if you if you coat the back of the mirror of the wind of the glass with silver so then it's opaque and it doesn't let the light through so that everything reflects back that's how a mirror works that was oh I get it I get it when the glass has no silver you see everyone else but if it's lined with silver all you see is yourself that's what I just discovered have a good day you have to first see somebody else you want to feel somebody else's pain see someone else the happiest people in the world don't think about themselves don't be busy with yourself be busy with other people be busy with other people is built like the rambam explains in Hillcrest Madness there has never been a cahilla in Cloud Israel that was not based and founded in sudaka said thinking of other people you should know very well what I'm talking about the hasid that goes on in this community is extraordinary of course we always can come up with new ideas foreign I'm going to tell you one of my pet peeves you know when I was a kid if so on a fast day so what would you wish your friend have an easy fast have an easy fast nowadays there's a new thing have a meaningful fast that's none of your business whether I have a meaningful fast or not you wish me have an easy fast I'll worry about whether it's going to be a meaningful fast what happened to being concerned with somebody else's welfare have an easy fast whether I choose to use it meaningfully that's my business but that's the idea what happened to worrying about another person's well-being now at the end of say ferberace Rashi tells us that upon the demise of Yakov avinu Israel the eyes and the hearts of the Jewish people became sealed shut what's Rashi getting at that our hearts and our eyes became sealed shut so what that's how you define Sheba that's how you define bondage our hearts and our eyes became sealed shut and I think Rashi is telling us a very important nakuda if a person wants the almighty if a person wants her colors to be sensitive to their needs to be looking at them to feel your pain then how color sparkle will mirror the way we look at other people and if our eyes and our hearts are open toward another then the rebunishment will respond in kind and his eye and his heart will be open to us the problem was that Amit sriim our hearts and our eyes became sealed shut you know what the repercussion was so to speak closed his eye to the Jewish people and he closed his heart to the Jewish people and then we're in hot water Houston we have a problem here because if our eye and heart is still shot then what do you expect to do to us so you know what are we gonna do we need someone to break the cycle who's going to break the cycle moisha Maisha became great what is that she's saying I gotta stop the cycle I'm gonna open up my eye I'm gonna open up my heart you realize a few succumb later the possuk says Rashi foreign Works toward us the way Hashem responds to us is they the way we look at another Jew there's so much sadaka it's in a way so easy to write the check you know somebody has a problem no problem here's my credit card number here's my check what's required is a little bit more empathy a little sympathy to look like the Rob said to look at the situation of somebody else to feel pain of somebody else that's what we're aiming for that's what our goal is the rough mentioned would tell his children the objective of life is to what could you do to help somebody so there's a a well-known muscle that is given about two bodies of water you have two bodies of water and Earth Israel a very close proximity we have yam kinaret the Galilee sea it's teeming with life with fish with fauna with plant life they're fish in the kinera that exists nowhere else in the whole world pero's gay no sir the most Lush fruits in the whole world and then the canary continues to flow it flows down down and it flows into Yamaha and what's the Amma milk the Dead Sea it's dead it's dead they're the scientist debate could an amoeba could a bacteria survive in the Yamaha how do you account for the disparity between these two bodies of water they're in such close proximity so the son-in-law of the nasiva Shalom would say he writes this in a number of asaram that the yamchinaret receives water as a macabo of the water but then as a noise saying it continues to give the water and when there's giving there's life there's Vitality there's plant life animal life fish fauna but the Yama milk is sitting there take take take take and that's where it stops and in life when there's taking if in a community all there is is taking all there is is taking if in a home all there is is taking if your role in the relationship is you're taking that's a Yamaha that's a Dead Sea but if you're a giver where there's giving in the family where there's giving in the relationship where there's giving in your kahila that's a kihila of yam kinera that's the kihila of Vitality okay well I wish we could have emotion amazing as I said before last but not least last but not least is a some people you know they really pay attention to this but it's the third dimension it is you know how can we from whatever we're standing we can became the greater the person that is for us to reach how can we really take advantage of Who We Are and explore that potential so what would be the advice from bin Adam so you can really you can really accomplish as much as we know from Abraham Abraham as I'll say you know that he really ages where crazy they couldn't believe I mean he and his he said about Autos also they couldn't believe how come you know the the potential was fulfilled and what if we have to reach he reached in this in this lifetime you have so much time do we waste to so many silly things instead of taking advantage so what would be the advice to really become our not someone else but our own better version um first of all I want to say that this topic is remarkable and a very inspired Whoever thought of it the gemara says in babakama if someone wants to become a hasid that means that sadly flemisher said then he should consider three things merely the others avot mili de nuziken Milli de brachord the martial says over there those are three dimensions how could I take the myths of my parents time aren't admitters merely the naziken how my worries before I partake of this world I have to thank Hashem that's been Adam so those three dimensions are covered in the gemara of the heaven if someone wants to become a Hassan there's a lot to be said this one and especially the way rebelli who we I I hadn't had the opportunity yet to publicly thank him for everything without him there'd be nothing and therefore we have to thank him for everything all the beautiful assistants from Isaac and all but we know that the inspiration and the ideas and the energy we know where it all comes from and we thank you uh he just gave an extra Dimensions so if I could just as quickly as I possibly can the Bali Musso say I'll say it first Yiddish I meant no in the Finster a person can see himself only in the dark when the lights are on and everything's gone on you see everything else when do you see yourself when it's dark and you can't see anything else that's when we focus on ourselves how many of us get into a car or anywhere and the first thing we do is in the old days we would say turn on the radio here at cusb here it's the thing in your ear either you're on the phone or you're hearing some music anything to distract yourself from being with yourself be with yourself a little bit get to know yourself sometimes we're scared to know ourselves because they're great challenges it's very very important secondly uh rib Israel cilante used to say how can you love someone like yourself you know you know that's not possible but there is one way why do you love yourself for no reason in the world except that I'm me so for no reason in the world love him too the way you love not as much but the same reason which is for no reason it's not Merit based it's actual so from loving yourself you develop a sense hey I don't deserve to be loved more than the next guy I just love me because I'm me hey maybe I should love him because he's him but it starts with I want to share something with you two points one point and then conclude Rebellion just said something about how I the me can grow and he said the word about wasting time and as he said it something clicked in my mind today issue hello do you know that the first Mitzvah that was given to cloudy soil as a cloudy soil was and exactly when what are the what's the connection so most of us are going to say well we have to make yum to make him we need not that was experience based and that calendar-based so why teach me that Mitzvah now says the svarno till now your time belonged to others to your Masters the the isoid of slavery is that I don't own my time of it Ben Beyond my time doesn't exist time is now yours this is your first experience which he calls this is your first existence of choice what are you going to do with your time now that you don't have another master some of us select the brand new master that Master could be business it could be entertainment it could be distraction it could be Sports it could be food they're Masters too it doesn't have to always be in the form of apparel if you are the master of your time then you are the captain of your soul you will be able to grow a mishnah imain Ani Lee but in the very same breath the mishna goes and says one second you just said I should worry about me myself and then he said and if I worry about myself what am I yesterday in our suya we had to learn asks this question and I think this is the inside person has to be selfish ly I have to worry about me because if I don't worry about me no one else will stop what's the definition of me when you're a Baja you could think my mother Allah Shalom used to say you can only say I and me till you're married the day you are married I never want to hear that word again I only want to hear we and the day you have children I don't want to hear we I want to hear they you get married your Ani expands and you have a second person in your life you have children you're Ani it's a knee but now my Ani means my family I'm a member of so now my Ani means your God will be Israel my Ani means Cloud Israel says if I don't take care of my Ani no one will is that you have to be in a knee but your Ani has to be selfless it has to take in everyone else is first in the darkness take time to know yourself the Greeks used to say above all else to thine own self be true know yourself and after you know yourself say myself has to be composed of those closest to me and then expand expand I can grow every day and the essence of me is the time that Hashem gave me the stuff of life is time use it wisely you're all here I can't think of a wiser thing for this country for this I can't think of a wiser thing for myself in these few days before than to be here and graspad it's been a real the hood for me personally just to come to hear the just to be able to here are these uh division I want to reiterate what the rav mentioned I want to thank rebelli you know I knew Ellie was a Fireball of energy but when I saw him dance last night you know great people always have a lot of energy with Aaron Cutler summerella and they Channel it for about Hashem so Isaac and all the all the Reb Isaacs thank you very much for all of your help and it's been a real uhut if we may the Rev mentioned the ultimate Ani is that your Ani encompasses not just yourself not just your family but all of Claus Israel could it be then the gemara and sukha says that the ribanisham himself has a very unusual name we say on sukkotiana what is hashem's name Hashem is if God is not with me who will be for me the ultimate Ani is because his Ani encompasses all of mankind all of Khalid so he wants him is the ultimatani the subject of at first glance you think like it's a new Vogue concept it's a modern concept there's only been another mentioned from the Marsha the villagon in adarsaliyahu reveals their three main mitzvot there's Torah and it's between you and your fellow your fellow between you and your fellow man is you ready for this Torah ismo what does that mean how is Torah been Adam so I want to share with you one gemara the gemara tells us about would review his learning every 30 days somebody once came to Abrahim kanevsky for Abraham says review the Shahs 613 times he says 613 times how's that possible what do you mean one thousand times it only takes 30 minutes to review the main principles of the Shahs okay would review his learning every 30 days upon completion of his review he would go up to the Mast of the ship he would say as follows he would talk to himself he would say rejoice my soul Rejoice my soul I learned for you I learned mishnah for you would go to the top of the boat and he would talk to himself which is an important skill you need to be able to speak to yourself speaking to himself talking to himself I remember when I would go to River Miller for Charlotte he would be speaking to himself the entirely he didn't speak to anybody else he was talking to himself he was murmuring to himself the entire Suda he would review certain principles he would inculcate certain principles so the gemara has a question what's he doing he's selfish what do you mean he's learning for himself he's learning krumas for himself he's learning mishnav for himself we know we learned to uphold the entire world imelo British we know that if there would be a moment in time that the Torah was not being learned the world would cease to exist says that's why God created time zones why do you think Panama is an hour earlier than New York so when in New York they're going to sleep in America in Panama there they have an extra hour of learning and aretz Israel is on a completely different time zone so around the clock there's always somebody learning so why would raphesha say that I'm learning for myself you don't learn for yourself you learn for the whole world you ready for the gemara's answer listen carefully Kara vidate anybody know what is the word mean in the beginning in the beginning when you learn you learn for yourself one simple question for you in the beginning was a beginner rapacious was about he was in he just started learning we're talking about a man who reviewed his learning every 30 days what does the gemara mean Kara [Music] foreign brings an incredible interpretation of this Kamara based on the Vilma gone doesn't really mean in the beginning principally in principle fundamentally why do we learn Torah fundamentally what's this all about fundamentally learning Torah it's not about just upholding the whole world it's not about keeping the world viable in principle why do we learn you learn for yourself when Hashem endowed your soul into you your nashama has endless potential endless greatness infinite ability you know how great you could be who created your nashama he took the entire Olam he took the whole world like the never shakaim says he took the givera of the Ari he took the consistency of the shemosphere he took all of the universe and he said Adam a human being has within him the great capacity of the entire world sometimes you look at children tell me them you say yeah what could become of them what could become of them nothing short of anything nothing short of the entire world so the question is so how do we access the greatness that rests inside of us foreign you want to access the infinite potential that lays dormant in your soul Mitzvah talmud Torah meaningful limur Torah learning Torah you put away distraction you put away all the things that pull your mind away and you devote whatever time you have whether it's three hours one hour 10 minutes five minutes and you this the how you had varim is and that's how we start to tap into the endless potential Hashem endowed and each and every one of us thank you so much for the great I wish everyone thank you you've just experienced another Torah class brought to you by torahanytime.com