Rabbi Benzion Klatzko - Unlocking Your Potential

Welcome everyone to today's very special sheer presented by Chazak and the Eliyahu ben Yisrael and the Leah Bracha bat Tziya Memorial Foundation. Baruch Hashem, every single year we we we we have this sheer together with the Nisana family. Of course, we thank um Baruch Nisana, Yaakov Nisana, and the whole family. Give them a round of applause for always organizing amazing sheer. Of course, in the memory of their their their parents, of course. Um what what greater merit could there be? Some people they they um they they they want to do something they do for a merit to their family. And of course, um organizing a sheer or a Torah, of course, so what what greater merit could there be? Talmud Torah k'neged kulam. We know, of course, know that learning Torah together, of course, is is the greatest merit that that that could be for a neshama. And of course, um that we're going to be hearing momentarily from Rabbi Benzion Klatzko, of course, um Sefirat Omer, unlocking your potential. And um of course, um the um all the brachos that we made, of course, all the learning tonight is going to be is being dedicated l'zecher nishmat Leah Bracha bat Tziya, neshama sha'av aliyah, amen. And and we're going to hear um we're going to call upon um Yaakov Nisana, of of course, just to say some share some opening remarks um we're going to talk about his about his mother, of course. Um and as well as there's um if anyone lost a bracelet, um please um please approach us that that uh if anyone lost their bracelet. Thank you. Hi. Um probably should have been prepared because this happens almost every year. I get asked to speak and I'm never prepared for it. Um similar to, you know, losing a parent, you're never prepared for that, either. Um you know, tonight's event is obviously sponsored in the nishmat my mother, Leah Bracha bat Tziya, as well as my uncle who passed not to, you know, a little bit over 30 days ago, Avraham ben Tziya. You know, um I I don't I really I don't even know where to begin with this one. Um We on the yearly basis, you know, twice a year we do shiurim with Chazak. And um you know, it's just it's it's really the you know, the the with Chazak and um you know, the main reason for that is is because of where we've come from. You know, we've come from you know, we came in from Russia. We came in, you know, not religious. We weren't, you know, completely affiliated. And um you know, organizations like Chazak, Netzach, all these different organizations that, you know, that do what they do, you know, the different arms of what they do. They prepare shiurim like this. They get Rabbi Klatzko to come in. They have multitudes of shiurim. If you look at their websites, you know, it's it's just ongoing. And you know, that that in reality is where my, you know, where my mother was. You know, >> [clears throat] >> she, you know, she came here from Russia. We moved to Cincinnati, you know, we weren't from, you know, from the entire family, you know, she she she just gravitated to it. And um you know, it just it was an amazing thing to see how, you know, no matter what was going on around her, she continuously went and did what she felt was right. She covered her hair. She kept Shabbat, kosher, all the different things. And you know, and it was just you know, as a young child to see that was really an amazing thing. You know, to to steal something from someone someone I heard from, you know, um look how far we've come. It was at a speech at a dinner, look how far we've come. But [clears throat] you know what I would like to add to that? Never forget where you came from. And that's an opportunity that, you know, Chazak does allow us to um you know, to give back to the community, to do things for them. And you know, supporting organizations like them is something that, you know, we hold dear and I know my mother, my father, my uncles, you know, everyone that's around us now, you know, now we're all from but but Baruch Hashem. And um you know, it's again, it's it's it's it's really, you know, you know, it's really because of organizations like that. So, you know, I would really like to give a round of applause to Robbie who, you know, tireless efforts are constantly putting together these type of things. You know, at any time you text him, he's always responding. And um you know, we really definitely have a lot of cards to offer to you, to Rabbi Meir Rub, to the whole Chazak organization. And um again, thank you all for coming. Thank you, Yaakov. And of course, tonight um we The reason why we chose this topic here is because there's some people they think they find they're going to focus on how am I going to reach my potential. But but of course, we know that that that in the Torah and Judaism that um the If you look at the word natan, it's a palindrome, backwards and forwards. You think you're I'm giving to others, but no, really you're giving to yourself. Person says, how am I going to I'm going to unlock the potential of myself. But but one of the ways is is by unlocking the potential and and giving to others and really that that comes and and and benefits yourself. And of course, our speaker tonight, Baruch Hashem, um has inspired thousands of people through through his amazing shiurim, which are seen by thousands of people around the world every single year. Of course, he founded shabbat.com um to get people around the world to open up their homes and and and have meals and have open up their homes for Shabbos for thousands of people. And of course, he's unlocked the potential of thousands of others. And of course, that that's the goal for tonight as well. So, it's a great great honor to all rise for Rabbi Benzion Klatzko. Chazak chazak. Yesterday was Yud Kay Vav Kay in the Sefirah. And we are more than halfway towards Matan Torah. And we're looking forward to receiving the Torah. And I'm overjoyed that Chazak has asked me to come, especially l'zecher nishmat Leah Bracha bat Tziya. Uh it's definitely special and it takes her neshama, brings her neshama to the next level, higher and higher and higher because every word of Torah is equal to Taryag Mitzvot, every single word. That means every minute, says the Chofetz Chaim, that's 200 words a minute. So, it's 200 * 613. And it's times by however many people are in the room tonight. And that's times all those who are going to be listening and watching on Torah Anytime. So, your mother, Leah Bracha, is getting a big roster rocket booster, higher and higher to Shamayim. So, Gan Eden temenu chata. We should We should uh uh we should do these things for the ones that we love. It is the ultimate chesed. I would like to start off tonight by telling you about a young man who came to our home. And we invited him to come over and he came and very often people bring a bottle of wine. We like a nice bottle of wine. Sometimes even tequila. We also like tequila. But this man didn't bring that. This man brought a large box of cake. Big box. And there were lots of different kinds of cake in that box. Some that were pareve and some that were actually milchig. They were dairy. And then he came and he had a second box. Now, it's like he brought a whole kiddush with him. And of course, my kids' eyes were very wide. They're very excited to see all that delicious cake. And the milchig cake, I said, "Well, I'm going to eat milchig?" He said, "Maybe make a kiddush Shabbos morning. I brought cheesecake, the best cheesecake." So, he said, "Okay." And thus started the minhag in my house that we have the minyan the shul is in our home. And every Shabbos day after Mussaf, we break out the tequila to get the herring or ask his. We take out the herring. And we take out the cheesecake. Not one, not two, but very often three with a caramel topping, with a chocolate topping. He introduced that to our home, this young man. This young man did another thing. He saw that we read the Torah on a bimah that's not really much of a bimah. It's a stander that we're sort of balancing it on. So, he said, "We need to get you a proper bimah." And so, he hired a relative of his who manufactured standers and bimahs professionally. And he measured a gorgeous bimah with wheels that was able to be wheeled from our living room to our dining room. When someone donated a Torah to our shul, the Torah was bigger than the bimah cuz the the bimah originally was for our original Torah, which was a small Torah. And so, >> [clears throat] >> this young man asked his relative to make a new top to the bimah that would hold the Torah. One kindness after the next. He almost became like a host instead of a guest. He came over so many times. If anyone needed a ride, he was there. And he gave them a ride. And it was always with a smile. With Divrei Torah. There was a widow who we know very well. Her name is Miriam. First name, not a last name. Unfortunately, she's gone through a lot in her life. Stability is a little bit of an issue. And this young man would go all the way to Brooklyn and visit her. He was also a plumber, so he did her plumbing for free. Full of kindness. Yesterday, he was murdered in Colombia. His name was Nachman. Yesterday, he was ambushed. And he died a horrible death. Nachman Yisrael ben Menachem Mendel. And my phone has not stopped ringing. If you went to Emek, you may know him. You may remember him from Emek. You remember him from my house. My phone did not stop ringing. Message after message. And when I knew I was coming tonight, and I know the topic that I'm going to speak about, I thought the way to introduce it was to introduce it both l'ilui nishmato together with your mother to bring down. He's not even been buried yet. His levaya I don't I don't even know. You know, we're we're waiting to hear information. And Hakadosh Baruch Hu should watch all of his people. It's a horrible story. And so we are here in Sefirah mourning 24,000 who died, the talmidim of Rabbi Akiva. And when one speaks during Sefirah, so there's two angles. There is the Sefirah of Rabbi Akiva and his students, which is sadness, which is memory of tzaddikim who passed away. And we don't have weddings, and we don't shave, we don't take haircuts. Or we have the joy of counting towards Matan Torah. I'm going to choose the latter. I think l'ilui nishmat Liza Bracha bat Ketzia, to speak about something uplifting is the way to go. And even though I just started with something sad, but when somebody lives whatever kind of life they lived, we try to pull we try to cull the lessons that they may have taught us. I want to start with the following. Some of you know I do kiruv. I try to do kiruv. I do outreach. College campuses all around [snorts] the country. I travel from Harvard to Yale to UCLA to GW to Berkeley. To Arizona, you name it. I've probably been there, probably multiple times. And it's a great journey like you just mentioned, going from a place where you did not grow up religious to decide I want to incorporate it. And when I speak to students about going on that journey, one of the first things that come to mind, that they ask me about is how does one date in the religious world? How is that done? Do you go to a club? Do you go to a bar? Do you meet them at a party? So when I tried to describe, "No, actually, um you write a resume." He's like, "A job resume?" "Yeah, sort of." Write a little resume, put some vital information. You give out your resume, and you see if you have any applicants. And they get very confused. Like, "I don't understand. Why do you do that? How long do you date for?" I said, "I don't know. Could be six." They said, "Six years?" "No." "Six months?" "No." "Six weeks?" "Maybe no." "Six times?" "Six six times." "Maybe eight? Maybe nine?" I have children in shidduchim. I don't think any of them ever made made it to eight. Uh they all ended before then in a good way. "How, Rabbi? How does that work? How do you meet somebody a few times and you know they're the one?" So I said, "Look, you never truly know. If you think you know, you certainly don't know. The person you're marrying is going to be a very different person than the person that you grow up and grow old with. But you got to know something about them. You have to know that they have what it takes to be your husband, to be your wife, to be the father of your children, to be the mother of your of your children. How do you know? So I told these students, and some of them came just a few weeks ago. I said, "Look, when you meet somebody at a bar, you meet somebody at a club, you don't know anything about them. Maybe you see that they're attractive. Maybe they have have high cheekbones. Maybe they've got a white smile, nice teeth, straight teeth. Maybe they've got a sense of humor. You don't know. Is that what it takes to be a father, a mother, a husband, a wife? Is that what it takes to wake up next to that person the next 60, 70, 80 years of your life? You don't know anything about them if you just bump into them and you get swept off your feet. But I told them in the religious community, we know a lot about them. Before [snorts] there's ever dating, we know all sorts of information about them. How? Well, we get a resume, and in the resume on the resume, there are names and numbers. Here are my teachers. Here are my friends. Here are my roommates. Here are people who know my family. And the students says, "And what do you do? Do you email them?" I said, "No, we we we call them." "You call the people?" "Yes." "What do you say?" We say, "Oh, I'm calling because I received a shidduch resume about so-and-so. Do you Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" "Do they know?" "Yes, they know. They gave me the resume." "Okay. What would you like to know?" And we ask the questions that we need to ask. We want to know, are they bnei Torah? Is Torah important to them? Is tefillah important to them? Are they careful careful about lashon hara? How What's Shabbat like to them? We find these things out. And before there's ever a single date, we know all about the person at least what we have found out through the resume, through the friends, through the teachers. And maybe if you're smart, you'll call the friends of friends just to be sure you get down to the bottom of what the person's all about. But we know. But more than anything else, we know what we need to build a house that's a home for Hashem in mikdash me'at. We know it. And because we know it, we know what we're looking for. And we ask the questions that are relevant. Do they have a nice voice? Maybe yeah, maybe no. Not a deal breaker. Do they like long walks walks on the beach in the sand? Maybe. I hope not. It's hard to walk on sand. I don't know. But that's not what we care about. I care about the morals, the ideas, the ethics, the values. And here, my friends, is my point, and going to be the point of tonight. What is the number one thing that we look for in a partner, in a spouse, in a mentor, in a friend, and in ourselves? The number one thing, the motor, the engine that's at the heart of the vehicle that's going to take us from here to there is called kindness. It's called kindness. Kindness. We look to hear, we look to see is this person kind? Does this person have a neshama, a ruach, a spirit of goodness, of kindness? You see, with kindness comes all of bein adam la chavero. Every question between us and our fellow friend and our fellow Jew and us and the next person it it it pours out of kindness. And when we date, when we look to find that person, that special someone, when I look to find shidduchim for my children, that's what I'm looking for. Yes, I'm looking for Torah. I want a tznius. I want fill and I want Shabbos. I want having a rebbe. They're all important. But the beating heart the may bein Adam la chavero, that thing that will make you eligible to marry my daughter, to marry my son is kindness. Nachum, as we mentioned earlier, was a man of kindness. We have to understand what this means. Why is it kindness? There was a man by the name of Rebbe Elazar ben Arach. And Rebbe Elazar ben Arach was a talmid of Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai. And Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai asked his talmidim, his five primary talmidim, "What is the greatest middah? What's the greatest character trait? What's [snorts] the greatest quality that a person can have?" And each one said a different quality. And Rebbe Elazar ben Arach said, "Lev tov." Having a good heart. Kindness. That crying heart, that beating heart, the one that hears pain and connects to it, the one that feels joy and rejoices with it. Says Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai, "What Rebbe Elazar ben Arach said was oilam al kulam, was greater than all of them." Having a good heart, being kind, that's the game changer. When you meet somebody in a bar, I told my student, "You don't know if they're kind and just cuz they offered to buy you a drink. They could have other motives. It doesn't have to mean that they're kind. You need to know what is about them that is kind. You're not going to see it at a party when you're drunk. You're not going to know it if you bump into them and you don't know about them and you don't know what their roommate, who is a little bit obnoxious or a little bit messy, says about them or their teachers who saw them at their best and at their worst. You don't know what kind of family they came from. Do they come from a family of chesed? So, we do our pedicos, we do our checkings out and we learn is the person kind? And if they're kind, some of you know, some of you don't. I have great experience dating. I'm a shadchan. Obviously, I must have dated many, many times. I went out with my first girl. Her name was Shani. I went out with Shani. We're on our first date. And I asked her about school because that's what you do on a date. Cuz she was still in school. She was young. She was finishing up school and she said, I said, "What did you have any Do you do any things extracurricular?" She said, "I am the head of chesed in my Bais Yaakov." I'm the head of kindness. And I responded, "Will you marry me?" on our first date. After 45 minutes of our first date. And she said, "Yes." by the way. I have very little experience dating. My kids always say, "You don't know how hard it is." I said, "No, I don't. Mommy married me after one date." "How did you know?" I knew what I was looking for. I wanted kindness. When I heard she was the head of kindness, ch- jackpot! 7777, right? Jackpot. Diamond, diamond, diamond. That's what it is. She was my star. She was my diamond. Kindness is what we look for. I want to tell you something a little bit sad. Rebbe Elazar ben Arach was the greatest student of Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai. What happened to Rebbe Rebbe Elazar ben Arach? He ended up moving to a city without a lot of talmidei chachamim. And because of that, he lost his Torah learning. And the greatest student of Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai passed away as a footnote. Although we mention him in Pirkei Avot and his name does come up a few times, he didn't reach his potential. Why? What about the kindness? So, we understand and we know that kindness has to be married to Torah. Kindness has to have a backbone. If you're just kind, if you're just sweet, then you're a liberal. If all you are is kind and you don't have a moral compass, I'm kind to this, I'm kind to that. You know, it always bothered me. How is it? It's astonishing. It's fascinating that the greatest liberals, those with the bleedingest of hearts, are the ones who become anti-Semites. Do you notice that? The left becomes anti-Semitic. Now, the right also did, but that's because they're becoming left. Why is it? What is it about kindness that creates anti-Semitism? Fascinating question. What is it? I I would expect that being kind, uh you know, worrying about social services and caring for the indigent and and looking at getting more and more and more people on programs, that should be that should cause them to love us. Aren't we the people of kindness? Good question, right? We're watching it in real time. Al shlosha d'varim ha'olam omeid. The world stands on three things. Torah, avodah, and gemilus chassadim. Torah, learning Torah. Avodah, service of Hashem. Today, that's tefillah, davening. And gemilus chassadim, acts of kindness. If acts of kindness were all you needed, then it would just say the world stands on one leg. But it doesn't. It says it stands on three legs. When you're so kind but you lose your moral compass, then kindness becomes cruelty. It says, "Those who have rachmanus, those who have mercy on fools and have been cruel to those who need their mercy." You know, this past parsha, we did a double double parsha, Acharei Mos Kedoshim. And in one of the pesukim, it speaks about those who worship the horrible avodah zarahs of the of the pagans. The Edoni, the Ov, the Molech. And it says in the Torah that if somebody worships Molech, am ha'aretz, which means not an ignoramus, but it means the nations of the world, means not the nations of the world, the Jewish people, the lay people, the lay people should stone him. It's a very interesting uh interesting terminology. Normally, who does the stoning? Who does the stoning? It's the court. The the kind of sanhedrin. They're special people. The Beis Din does the stoning. This time it says, "Am ha'aretz yirg'mu avanim." The lay people should stone this person who worshipped the Molech. Interesting. But look at the next pasuk. Even more interesting. It says, "V'im ayin ya'alim." And if you withhold from doing this punishment, if you hide your eyes from stoning him, from giving him his due punishment, says Hashem, "You know what's going to happen? I will not forget. I will not hide myself from you who are going to end up worshipping Molech and you'll all be punished and there'll be destruction for everyone." It's a certain kind of went through fire. It's a certain kind of idol worship. So, Chazal say something interesting. They say, "V'im ayin ya'alim." Why does it say it in a double lashon? Uh it says it in a in a double expression. "V'im ayin ya'alim." And if you surely hold yourself I'm sorry, not "V'im ayin." "V'im challem ya'alim." It says, "V'im challem If you hide your eyes from doing what you need to do if you hide your eyes then Hashem says you're going to get into trouble. Why does it say it in a double way? Says Rashi quoting Hazal If you hide your eyes from what he's doing now, if you say look he's an important person I don't want to start up how he worships and who he worships is none of my business. If you hide if you hide your eyes for this one thing you're you're going to hide your eyes for other things as well. If you hide your eyes you're going to hide your eyes from everything. That is liberalism. It's the reason why when you hide your eyes when you see something that is bad that is wrong and you don't do what's necessary you know what you need to do you need to look in the mirror and you have to justify why didn't you do anything? And by justifying maybe they're okay. Maybe it's not so wrong and once you justify them once you justify it once you'll you'll justify it again. You'll justify more things and eventually you'll justify the Candace Owens and the Tucker Carlsons and and all those other people that want to destroy us you destroy them by hiding your eyes by not speaking out. Kindness amazing. But if you have so much kindness that you don't want to do what's necessary like Melach says in in Mishlei perek gimmel pasuk dalet If somebody is choshech [snorts] shivto soneh v'no choshech shivto shivto soneh v'no. If you hide if you darken your shevet your staff your stick you don't punish your child and I'm not advocating going around whacking your kid don't get me wrong. But if you hide oh poor bubala poor bubala he didn't mean it. You do that again and again soneh v'no you hate your child. What do I how do I hate them? I didn't I didn't punish I didn't do anything. That's the problem. You have to be kind. But the kindness has to make sense. The kindness has to be the kind of kindness that is that is married to tzedek. Tzedek tzedek tirdof it's not it's not an accident that the word tzedek which means righteousness justice is the same word as tzedaka which means charity. They're one in the same. The source of kindness is when we are straight. Why am I telling you all this? You want to be a good husband you want to be a good wife you want to be a good friend work on your kindness. Every single scenario has kindness imbued in it and kindness changes everything that you do. Think about your own marriage. And if you're not married think about who you want to marry. How important will it be when you come home after a hard day and instead of saying don't complain I also had a hard day instead you say wow I'm sorry it was so tough. Can I make you a tea? Do you know how powerful those words are? Can I make you a tea? Do you know every single night I ask my wife can I make you a tea? Every single night and you know what's so funny? She smiles she said yes we have this whole ritual. She said yes she says yes I said what kind of tea? And she says what what are the choices? I know what she's going to say. She's watching this it's funny. She's going to say a fruity tea. But it's not I say you want a peppermint? You want ginger? You want a fruity tea? She she'll smile she'll say I'll take the fruity tea. Great and I'll make you the tea. She'll make a bracha she'll take one little sip and it'll sit there and get cold and be there the next morning. Every single night. It's just you know why cuz it's not about the tea. It's about the kindness. It's warm not the drink the sentiment is warm. And you know every single morning she makes me a coffee. Every morning. And she noticed that one coffee is not enough. It's just I it's not enough for me. So every day she makes me a thermos full of coffee and she brings it. Every morning a whole thermos with a cup on a heating little heating pad it's right next to my bed it stays hot I drink drink drink three cups I'm good to go ready for shacharis. Yeah that's not healthy. That's why I'm so short. And she and she drinks. But it's kindness. Can I make my own coffee? Yes. We don't make fancy coffee. We use Taster's Choice. It's literally putting a little heaping tablespoon in a cup and mixing it with two Splenda. That's all it is but it's not it's much more than that. It's kindness. My wife wanted me to do something today. She asked me to do something I stopped I was like and I did it on the spot. She said thank you for doing it on the spot. Because when you don't do it on the spot and you're in a marriage you begin to click the snooze button okay? How long do I have to wait until I remind them? You know what I'm talking about? How long do I have to wait? But if you do it right away then there is I don't have to click the the mental snooze button. Kindness. It's everything. Kindness to your children. Do you know what that means? That means that even if you're upset and you had a hard day when little Moishe comes comes in the room when little Sari or Miriam or Bracha they come in the room you give them a special smile and you say how are you and you take the time to listen to them. And on Friday night if they have the parsha sheet you're doing the parsha sheet with them and some of them have lots of stories and it takes a long time when they stand up but it's a kindness. When you're kind to your child your child will be kind to their spouse when they get married and they'll be kind to their children. And when you're gruff with them when you're rough when you're curt you know what they learn? I'm not important. So they grow up with that lesson I'm not important. So when I have kids my kids won't be so important and my wife is not so important. We become self-centered. Kindness is the engine in the vehicle that changes us. You see during Sefiras Omer we count and so much of what we count is chesed chesed she b'gvurah chesed she b'tiferes chesed chesed chesed. The talmidim of Rabbi Akiva sh'lo lo nahagu kavod zeh lazeh they didn't show kavod they didn't show respect to each other. You know how they would have shown respect? By being kind by being thoughtful. It's easy to show respect when you're kind because then you're invested. It boils down to kindness. I grew up in a remarkable home. And so did my wife. Many of you know that we the Klatsko family we have many guests over for Shabbos. Baruch Hashem I I'm looking across the room so many of you have been to my home for Shabbos and it's been a a pleasure and a privilege really hosting you and we hope you come again soon. People say how did you start it? Did you invent this concept? Obviously we didn't invent haknasas orchim. Avraham Avinu is my hero. But where did we get these ideas from? And the answer is we got them from our parents because we saw kindness in the home like you I'm sure saw kindness in your home. And when you see kindness you learn lessons and that becomes part of your DNA. It's it's it's amazing and scary at the same time how much power we have to raise a human being. To raise another life when Hashem says to parents mazel tov you're going to have a baby what Hashem is really saying is mazel tov I trust you to raise a human being good luck. Oh here's a second human being because you're doing a good job with the first one. Oh here's here's here's seven human beings. Do a good job with all seven right? Some of these families in Monsey it's amazing. Baruch Hashem. So many human beings so much power we have. When I grew up my father who was an ER doctor a very famous doctor a pulmonary specialist a diagnostician was a big doctor in Cleveland Baruch Hashem he should live to long and 20 he's still with his koach still very smart learns throughout the day Baruch Hashem even as a doctor he learned all morning long he would take them do the night shift all in order that when he finished the night shift he'd go straight to Telz Yeshiva and he learn until noon. That's what he did for for decades. I used to say you work in the night shift, you have every night you're up every night all night. How do you have cough the next day to have a whole morning seder? He says I do it because of everyone's learning I don't want to be sleeping. So I'll work all night, I'll go to tell us I have a versa. I grew up. I watched my father treat every single Jewish person who came to the house for free. My father treated all they would come I my my living room was like a waiting room. I would come there were people from the community waiting on my couch. My dining room table doubled as an operating table where stitches stitches my father very often would say here hold this kids lay down. Like that was like our job to hold whichever kid was coming for stitches from somewhere in Cleveland would come we'd all the kids lay down. My father would stitch them up. He had all sorts of all sorts of medical equipment in the house never charged. Cuz that's kindness. I watched that with my eyes. I had a father who was famous for his kindness and a mother who was famous for her kindness. A meshulach you get meshulachim over here. We don't call them meshulachim. When we were young my mother would not let us call them meshulachim. She thought that maybe that's degrading. They don't want to be called a meshulach. So we used to have to call them gentlemen. We'd say a gentleman's at the door. And when the gentleman would come in my father's first reaction the gentleman didn't realize this but my father would look down at his shoes. >> [clears throat] >> And if his shoes were beaten up like many from Israel they'd come with their shoes would be all ripped up cuz shoes are very expensive in Israel. My father would say come with me and he had like a shoe store in the basement. Every Sunday my father would go and buy boxes of new shoes and keep them in the basement. And when a gentleman would come he would say here come try on a pair of shoes. So not only would he get a check for his efforts but he would walk out a new pair of shoes. I watched one shoes after the next. And then my mother if somebody said I'm here for skalla my mother would run upstairs. She had a special closet it was a large closet which is known as a son. And in that closet were many boxes of gifts that she had gift wrapped with cosmetics. And she would come to the gentleman and he she would say mazel tov on the upcoming you're collecting for skalla here please give this box to the kallah. A gift wrapped but my mother didn't stop at that. She would say and here's a second box. You know what the second box is for? The second box my mother would say that's for your wife. So that when you come home you shouldn't have forgotten to buy a gift for your wife. So here wives they let their husbands go to America to collect money come back with a nice gift. So that's how I grew up where a gentleman would come new shoes a gift for himself a gift for for the kallah gift for for for the wife. Again it was amazing. So my my family and I we do the same thing now. A gentleman comes we have gifts all wrapped up. I give a little watches because I figure I don't know what kind of cosmetics you know but I know everyone likes a nice watch. I give a nice watch and the guy comes around and he's got a watch to give his wife. Isn't that a nice gift? You come back cuz you could forget if you keep on going back and forth you could forget each time to buy a nice gift. So now they have a nice gift all wrapped with a bow. But it's not my I didn't invent it. I watched it. I witnessed it. It's the engine. It's what we need to accept the Torah. That's and you know the crazy thing is the wild thing is that none of that was anything compared to my in-laws. My in-laws idea of was far greater than even that. You may have heard of my father-in-law he's a very famous rub. His name is Rabbi Juravel. You know him? Rabbi Juravel the great storyteller. You know Rabbi Juravel right? You all know him you're all nodding. Rabbi Juravel is my father-in-law I'm his oldest son-in-law. When they lived in Borough Park which is where they lived for most of their lives you do you remember their their homes of it was just a legend. My mother-in-law I I saw this when I was still a I would go my wife's brother was my roommate I'd come and every day my mother-in-law would make a huge pot of chicken soup trays and trays of chicken coleslaw Tropicana orange juice and poor people would walk back and forth in and out of the house taking supper and lunch. It was just she ran a soup kitchen out of her little kitchen in Borough Park for free. And then downstairs her whole basement apartment she used as a we called it the Juravel boutique. And poor people would come many Russians I saw especially the Russians who used to come right off the boat right off the plane they didn't have clothing. They would go to my in-laws through a side entrance so they shouldn't be embarrassed. And they went from room to room. They would get clothing for the children and then clothing for themselves and then there were umbrellas and there were baby carriages everything that you need they'd walk out with a whole wardrobe. And then the the bedrooms upstairs were all filled with guests and gentlemen. There was a lady who came her name was Molly. She somehow came to my in-laws we don't know how but [snorts] she came a very interesting lady she believed in aliens I remember this. And she came old frail not so old when she came middle she ended up coming to my in-laws she asked for a place to sleep and she stayed for about 25 years. That's it she just stayed she just stayed until she passed away. And and she didn't like to leave her room. So each of the Juravel children would take turns bringing her meals. They would just bring her my my wife when she was young would bring Molly her meals. It's amazing. I watched my wife watched her said. My my father was a big chacham. Remember one was it was Arab was right before and a lady knocks on my in-laws door and the lady says please I sell flowers. And it's right before was and I I spent all my savings for two days flowers before Mother's Day and before before Mother's Day I hang out not in Borough Park but in a different place and I sell all my flowers and before I hang out in Borough Park and that's how I make a lot of money. Unfortunately today it was pouring all day. So people weren't outside and is around the corner it's in just a few hours. And I have all these flowers left over they're going to wilt they're going to die I have no money. So my father-in-law my mother-in-law 10 children many many children 10 children. They said you know what we'll help you. And my father-in-law with his beard very cautious of a person walks onto 13th Avenue. A few hours before before the holiday. And my mother-in-law walked also to 13th Avenue in Brooklyn and they each took a street corner and they took some flowers and they began to sell this lady's flowers for her in the rain a few hours before was. And when people saw Rabbi Juravel standing out there selling flowers you bet they bought. And see they were able to get her money. I'm telling you this because when you see I said you then do I said. When you witness the I said you know how to mimic it how to emulate it how to mirror it. We have the ability to make this world amazing. And we could do it through I said but not random I said not liberal I said that ends up snapping back and hurting those that we mean to help. But the kind of I said that the Torah tells us about the kind of I said where when you hear a lady had a baby you make her a dinner. When you hear there's a kallah who needs money and you don't have money to give her then you make a few phone calls for her. You hear someone needs a you take the call and you make the kallah. You do your best. Every single moment that you walk around even right now even tonight you have the opportunity to do kindness. When you smile to the next person you're doing kindness. It's the easiest thing. And so we here we are remembering Lisa Brach about Sia recalling Nachman Israel Lemel Nachman Mendel who passed away yesterday. Recalling the 24,000 tell me them of Rabbi Akiva. Rabbi Akiva was the one who said There are have to love your fellow man. This called God of the Torah. This week's parsha, this past parsha, we said there are have to love your fellow man. Says Rabbi Akiva, this called God of the Torah. It's huge. Like Hillel before him said, "What's hateful to you, don't do to your friend." We can tap into our inner potential. All we need to do is look in the mirror tonight and say, "I am a kind person and I will be even kinder. I will look for opportunities to be kind." I have unlimited ability to change the world through my kindness. Through that we'll be able to change the world and all the wickedness on the left and on the right, all the sonam, all the even the rishon all the wickedness in a moment will be destroyed. Hashem says, "Before come when they grow like grass, it's just to show them that it's to destroy them forever so that you who are the real bearers of the torch of kindness the children of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, the children who understand what kindness and kindness shall encompass is you, dear dear Israel, can be the real light to the nations to get the world back on track and to bring Messiah to the mayor of your main amen.