Rabbi Benzion Klatzko speaking at Thursday night Mishmar at Scheiner's Shul Parshas Eikev

for that our words should uh should should help and go up to shim for her. >> Okay. >> And um can I add another for to my son? I just came back from the hospital. He's been there for a little more than a week. And uh there's Hashem is recovering from surgery and uh maybe maybe come back by Shabas. Maybe not. But uh you know, you got to hope, right? Okay. Uh I don't think I've been here in like two years or so. >> I mean up here. >> About two years ago, huh? >> You didn't come yet. No, you were there once. >> Oh, twice. It's my third time. >> Oh, okay. He told me he wasn't here. >> There you go. >> Okay. So um so I I don't I'm not here for any I'm I'm here to you know be with the oil and maybe share share a quick idea and um special of baby girl his wife had a nace very big nace bleeding and the doctor was able to figure it out on time. So u uh we're full of full nissim galim wherever we go. >> What's what what's your wife's name? She should have a full and the baby should be healthy. the mother should be healthy >> and uh all all of Kan and I I I I can't not mention of Ellie Montel over here because my yadmin helps with our Shabbas. Yeah. >> Yeah. To my son getting married in two weeks in if you happen to be in near in two weeks on Thursday night. join us and uh celebrate. We'll we'll all be there. >> Okay. So, there's a there's a common thread that goes not just through the para but goes through Yiddishkite and goes through life and it's highlighted in Av. So those who frequent my abode uh will be used to hearing words like this maybe not this exact but this signon this uh this direction. So say these are mitzvah the mitzvah that people stomp on with their with their heel. It will be if you listen to those mitzvah, if you do even those mitzvah, then you're going to get lots and lots of bra. So now they don't just throw out drushes willy-nilly. They don't just say, "Okay, av sounds like a kazal are telling us something very, very deep." And here's the concept. I always tell my students, I do kiru for a living. So that's my my my day job is I work with college students and I try to help them help them um see you describe them actually just coming from a a talk with a college student uh and I'm running over here uh this young lady came with a whole list of questions on a WhatsApp that we were going through and one of the things that I tell the students very often is that Judaism is not a religion but it's a relationship. ship, not a religion, but a relationship. One more time, not a religion, but a relationship. And without going into the differences between a religion and a relationship, if we understood this one true idea, this one true concept, our lives would be different. We wouldn't have kids at risk. We wouldn't be going on this roller coaster ride that we're up and down. We need to focus on the concept that wants a relationship with us and the Torah is built the way relationships are built. It functions like relationship. It's called a relationship in the Torah hundreds and hundreds of times. It's never called a religion. It's always called a relationship again and again and again. And it is the very notion of religion that torpedoes Yiddishkite. When we look at Judaism as a religion, we are one foot. We're one foot out the door. Let me tell you a very interesting idea. when stood by our said, "Would you like the Torah?" And we saidish and said, "Wow." Whoa. Who taught them the angelic secret of Nasishma? And in the in the yeshiva you learned what's the grand secret that they said nasa before nishma they didn't say nishma before nasa like uh that because some in the garra who this this a brazen arm that they flip it around I have a question for you what is the angelic secret of nasishma versus nishma vanasa nas of means I will do and I will listen. And the flip is I will listen. I will do. >> I'll tell you something. It's going to blow you away. The difference between nishma vanasa and nasa venishma is the difference between religion and relationship. That actually was the dialogue. Listen. Yes. Exactly. So I will listen. I will do is the formula of religion. I'm going to propose to you a religion. You'll listen to it. You'll see if it speaks to you. Nishma, let me hear it. Let me see if uh if I agree with it. And if I agree with it, nah, I'll do it. That's religion. How does a relationship work? Relationship works differently. Watch. My wife says to me, "Honey, can you do me a favor?" So I say, "It depends." No. It's a recording. >> Never. What do I say? Can you do me a favor? What do I say? Yes. What would you like me to do? Nasa. Yes. Then tell me what you want me to do. The formula of relationship is Yes. What would you like me to do? Yes, honey. That's the formula of the relationship. The angelic secret was Hashem was not looking for religion but Hashem was looking to be in a relationship and angels can't be in a relationship because they don't have and therefore the understood that by saying Hashem is looking for a relationship with with mankind with his with his Okay, let's just keep that that there's a lot to be said, a lot to a lot to say about that. Hashem is looking for a relationship and it says so so many times in the Torah again and again. I love you. I love you. Be in a relationship with me. Now watch this. My wife says to me, "Honey, you're going to the you're going to the store on Friday. Can you please pick me up some flowers for Chabas?" Now, I could pick her up flowers, but if I love her, what am I going to ask her? >> What type? >> What type of flowers? >> Ah, I should know that, right? I'm a newlywed. >> Then I don't love her yet. Okay, whatever. >> It's growing. >> It's growing. It's growing. Right. Um, what kind of flowers? Roses. Okay. >> Now, what am I going to ask her? >> What color? >> What color roses? Yellow roses. The hostages. A yellow roses. How many you want? A dozen. Two dozen. Do you like that? Uh, what's it called? Baby breath. called the little white thing. You like the baby breath? Okay. Long stem, short stem. I'm gonna ask questions. You know, I am going to ask questions. I'm going to ask questions because I love my wife. >> And when you love somebody, details make a difference. If you listen to details meaning if you listen to details to the point that even baby breath means something to you long stem short stem with leaves without leaves yellowish if you listen if you watch even the small things what are you showing me you're showing me that you're not just going through the emotions, but you genuinely love me. The point of a tishmoon is not, oh well, you never know what's big and what's little. It's because in a relationship, everything is big. Details make a difference. And they do, especially for women. Little details. You said it like this. You said it like that. You wrote the note. You hand wrote it. You you you wrote it on the computer. You put a little heart. You didn't. You wrote dear. You're dearest. Like if you think that these things don't matter, they do matter. Now, because each thing makes a difference says the following. You love me so much and I love you. I want you to live with me. I want you to be in my house. I want to bump into you in the hallway. I want to be with you. What happens when a couple is fighting? When a couple's fighting, there's a couple's fighting, they're not allowed to be together. And if the man and woman plan on getting a divorce, they're they really can't be once once he says, "I'm going to give a divorce, you can't can't come in for a last last lick." No, you're getting a divorce. That's it. When it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And you have to separate. When you're together and there's love underneath the same roof. If we understand this then we understand another truism in paras av and the truism is that gullus is not just a punishment but it's a reality for a relationship that's severed ever wonder why is gullis a punishment okay I get a punishment in the toy I get all sorts of smacks but gullis what's the idea of gullis The idea of gullis is not oh wah the punishment is you're going to lose your house. Now the punishment of gullis is that if we're not together then we're not together. Then you can't be in the same house. The punishment of gullis is a ma punishment. Eric soil is the land of bar is palik. It's a palace of the king. The punishment of gullis is the punishment of a relationship that's not working out well. So you're scattered about. If we understand this then we understand something else that's very very deep in this week's para in as well as in paras when we have the bar gives us for listening and then warnings punishments clawless if we don't Listen, if we become arrogant, if our hearts become so full of ourselves that we think we don't need Hashem, what's the idea who loves us? Why is he smacking us around? We just had we're in the middle of a still a time of tremendous sadness, a time of tishab. How do we understand relationship in light of what could be considered abuse? I mean, if we're in a relationship and then a bar subjects us to holocaust, to October 7th, to inquisition, well, that relationship would seem to be psychotic. It would seem to be, "Wow, you're in a relationship with me, but thanks, but no thanks." If a relationship means that this is what's going to happen and kamas and his balah and other enemies of of yishkite are going to allow this how how can I be in such a relationship the answer that's found in paras which is echoed in av is found in the words or bakama's carry. What does the word carry mean? Carry comes from the word mikra, an accident with the following. I never want to punish you. Even ines I'm not really punishing you. It says in the Gmorrah that mazali you have a bad masle asks the what does that mean we have bad masle we're Jews we have no masle at all >> right we're above masle like like a mas so what does it mean you have bad masle You don't have any masle says the you know what it means you have bad masle it means you have masle it means that normally you're above masle normally says I personally I'm taking care of you every other nation in the world they have a malik but I am going to watch over you you don't have masle says The inesha mazal a bad mazle means that we have mausole. The the punishment is that we are cast into masle. And if we are cast into masle, well, guess what? We're one sheep among 70 wolves that want nothing more than to than to tear us to shreds. Being in Masle is not where we want to be in this world. Is that true? Do we want to be subject to the nations of the world? Look how quickly the UK and Australia and Canada. Oh, Canada. Look how quickly the simple-minded Canadians have turned on the Jewish people. I'm sorry. Look, look how quickly >> the >> Look how quickly the Swedish Look how quickly th those Kiwi loving New Zealanders and Spain and even Germany now. Look how quickly they've turned. Look how quickly those right-wing pundits, the Candases and the the the Tucker Carlson's, look how quickly and there are more. Believe me, there are more that are yet to come who you think are your friends. You're a sheep among 70 wolves. And Hashem says, "If you have masle, you're you're in bad shape." Rya mazole doesn't mean you have bad masle. It means that you have masle and you don't want to be in mazel says the following and it will be if you treat me like we are mikra if you treat me like we're two ships in the night that are passing that we don't know each other like hi hashem hello we don't know each other if you treat me like we have no relationship ship then you know what says I will treat you like there's no relationship and you know what's going to happen you're going to be put into masle and you know what's happen if you're put into masle the is not punishing us the the punishments is simply the reality of the lack of shmeir of hashem Where do we see this? In the shama. In the sh. What does it say in the sh? You know what's going to happen? And you're going to be thrown out of the land. The punishment is the punishment is you can't be under the same roof as me, says hashem. And you're going to be in exile. You're going to be a sheep among 70 wolves. Let's bring this home. Let's bring this home. It will be if you listen, says Hashem. Hashem says, "If you treat me like I love you and I care about the details of your life," you know what the details are? You know the details are not speaking in sh You know the details are You know the details are how you treat your wife, how you treat your children, not speaking against the local rv. Being honest in your business, being you know these are important says Hashem. You may look at these as a things but Hashem says these are not ach things because achive things are just indications that you know I like yellow flowers with long stems and baby breath. That's what this is. They are y ach of tishmoon. If you care about the little things, then Hashem says, "I'm going to keep you in this land and you're going to be gvenchenched because we can live under one roof because we're in a relationship and I love you dearly and I want to wake up to see your smiling face every morning. But be careful if you treat me like we're not in a relationship. If you treat me like Hashem doesn't really care really care about these things, Hashem really care about benching. Hashem really cares about about ding. Hashem really cares about me wearing tits. Hashem really cares. Hashem says, "Guess what? Yeah, I do." And is a real thing. Says, "Hashem, if you think I don't care, call anyone who says," he doesn't really care. Hashem says, "I'll be mat on his life." Yeah. You know, you think I don't care then then I won't care. The more we show Hashem that I care about the details, the more Hashem says, "I will care about the details of your life." And guess what? We care about the details of our own life. We really want our lives to to be awesome. We care about getting a parking spot. We care about getting a raise. We care about about getting a clean bill of health. We care about having our blood pressure lower. We care about the little stuff because to us none of that little stuff is little. Everything is big. So, Hashem says, "Do my will like it's your will." Make the little stuff important to you. Says, "I'll make your will like it's my will." Because that's what love is. The little stuff isn't little. It's all love. [Music]