The secret for Shalom Bayit is the right timing - Rabbi Alon Anava

that is a disagreement and right away comes to a solution that's what you want to strive for I mean I'm I'm happily married biochem but I also have disagreements with my wife I just don't let it escalate I don't let it go past a few more than a few hours because when you let something start cooking that's when you get Jones you want to make sure that it stays not cooked because our anger it's like tune it cooks on a roll low steam and then it cooks and it cooks and it cooks and the next day it's boiling hot so in any argument you want to be very smart you don't want to be right it's the easiest thing to be right in an argument because I'm always right I'm perfect but the point is not to let thing the bubbles too much so when I have a disagreement with my wife she approaches me that's a completely free thing if I have an issue and I approach her then before I even approach ER I think 50 times how to approach her and when is the right time to approach er sometimes it's not the right time sometimes it's the worst time of the day an hour before Shabbat when there's 30 years and the kitchen is a mess and this baby has a diaper full of dirt and this is not working isn't working now is not the time for me to come and tell her something annoying because the reaction I'm going to get is an explosion it's not the time be patient tell us on Sunday don't tell us now so you have to also choose when to come with what's on your mind so if you know your husband had a very bad day at work and he's about to Hospice don't get fired or a customer does that the deal is swinging you normally knows 100% it's not to cut the calm the time to come and say you know yesterday when you did this and that you just walked in let him let him give him an hour to await for the next day so even in an argument that you are a hundred percent right or you're the one who's presenting the situation to know when to present it and how to say that it's not gonna explode like a like a hot dish so come and know to say it the right time if I have an issue that I have to come and tell to my wife I think very well where I'm going to come and say that how I'm going to come and say that because my point is also create a fight my throat my point is to come to a solution so if you're the one who has the argument you have to be smart how and when you're presenting it if you're the one who's being presented with it with the argument you have to right away shut down the the ego system because the ego right away will cause an argument you have to know how to like with the echo to bow down for a second and say okay let me think about it or let me see now the only supplies when things are new and and fresh not an argument that's going on for three hours for three years this is not a rock talk what I'm talking about is not an ongoing fight an ongoing fight is a completely different ballgame I'm talking right now on new things what is an ongoing fight that requires much more than these little tactics how am I going to talk to the person where I'm going to say an ongoing fight needs mediate let me say say mediate or mediator mediator how do you think a mediator you need when it's an ongoing argument if you cannot come to a solution then you bring a third a third party because if you're not able to come a week two weeks a month a year you're not finding the the solution you need them in Moot up the takes from here takes from here knows how to connect so you can go to a if it's in Mumbai to a marriage counsellor to a rabbi so somebody who knows both a people to somebody professional but if you niggly