The BEST advise what NOT to do!!! Explore the gates of Holiness.... - Rabbi Alon Anava

[Music] [Applause] [Music] in a good time we are going to start turning the fourth gate in the gates of Holiness last gate was all about the reward of a Mitzvah the title of last gate is the reward when you do a Mitzvah the title of this gate is very appropriate to the time that we're in because now every person really needs to dig deep down into their soul do their chuva do introspection and change their behavior very quick when it comes to the midot to the attributes and your characteristics so the title of the gate not of the class is beon when a person has bad character traits he's a liar he's a judgmental jealous whatever it is there's going to be a punishment for that because that's how God runs the world there's good that's bad you get rewarded for the good you get punished for the bad so when you have bad midot anger and so forth jealousy hate there's going to be a punishment for that but if you have good like the reward that you will get for having good midot patient understanding courteous giving charitable and so forth so I have told you many many times whether it was in a book or without a book anytime that I addressed the concept of T the refinement of character I told you that the kadosh created two realities two aspects of the matter and the Torah calls it Z right this is a a verse Shem created everything with a polarity good bad dark light kosher uncer pure impure z z is the polarity everything has in the world the polarity everything when it comes to the midot there is also a polarity on the good side you have the good midot on the other side the bad midot midot is characteristics and attributes I explained to you that the way it works it works in a way that there's one Mida that is on the top one characteristic that is on the top and if if it's triggered or poked or aggravated it will birth more midot and those midot will birth more and more that's how it works so I need to know what's on the top on the positive side the top top top Mida is the Mida that is called humble humility that's the top top mid hardest to acquire only one person acquired it in the most powerful way which is mosu who got the title he was very humble and he had everything he was a king he was a prophet he talked to God face to face he brought down the Torah I mean he had everything he was extremely rich he had everything to be proud of but yet he was humble that's the highest of all the midot and the good midot if you nourish the mid of an all the rest of the midot will be nourished and all the rest of the midot will come out in a much stronger way what's the polarity of Pride ego so the worst of all midot is our pride there's nothing above that if your pride is being poked or aggravated right away it will birth to midot anger and sadness either you get very angry or either you get very sad when your ego was stepped on and from that though these midot it will anger more midot frustration feelings of Revenge feelings of envy and many others so in this chapter in this gate we're going to learn and review some of the bad midot and some of the good midot but how it really affects affects us how it's affecting the world above and really what I need to know all about these midot because as I told you many times the author of this book V the dominating student of the says in the introduction we learned it from this book I just quoted numerous times saying he says that pursuing the Torah observing the mitv learning Tor is extremely important no question that one should not desecrate the Tor in any type of a way but the work of T the refinement of character is more important to your life than observing the Torah that's how extreme is in a different quote the gone from vilna also says you were born and created to refine yourself which means if you left this world without refinement we'll see you in the next round so this is so appropriate to our time now when Hashem is looking at us through a magnifying glass and I told you if you didn't change in the last four weeks from the October 7 event completely then something's wrong with you if you didn't double your Torah observant level in the last month then something's not it didn't hit well it didn't hit a home run let's pull qu this way you got affected but it didn't hit the spot fortunately for the ones that hit the spot they got it unfortunately for the ones that didn't hit the spot will come the next round till you get it so a big change that we need to do is the internal work if I don't change my internal work and refinement I won't catch up with the paste so this is a very important gate very important to ER not only to learn but really find the practical way to apply so I highly recommend if you only joining now to go back the entire series is posted on atm.com and you can see everything we're already in chapter 4 I mean we went through I think a couple dozens of classes this is a standalone gate it's not that you're not going to understand what's going on but highly recommended for anyone who's just jumping in to go back and start learning sh right from the beginning I I think it's one of the most powerful tools you can have now to apply in your life to survive the coming events H very soon with that said let's start since we're going to start with the bad midot the worst of all is G pride ego so that's what we're starting with and without further Ado if you want to follow chapter 4 first gate chap sorry fourth gate and we're in the first part and it says as follows the pride is the root to many sins either between me and God or between me and another person because it causes you to harm your friend or it says your fellow it doesn't matter who it is the ego your pride will cause you to harm the person in front of you and to hate him and what's going to happen when you hate him you'll start talking on that person you'll start slandering that person and gossiping and this is many this mean the example he gave an example your pride was hurt you became resentful you caused you to hate the person and as a result you spoke here one one example and he says and this example who many examples like that that now that's if maybe you between another person but how's about between you and and God how can it be between me and God you can have ego with God it says in the in the Torah in the book of chapter 8 verse 14 how can the ego can cause you to rebel and to go against hem the Torah says and your heart heart grows Hy for you forgot your lord and you forgot your lord a person becomes so arrogant he says Hy that you just forget your lord now that you see very clear the arrogant people who's God I did everything I earned the money I made the deal I conquered I was the one who saved and our sages in the page 5 a say every person that is rude is it's not even rude it's like vulgar rude and disgusting every person that has this G is an Abomination to God of course where do we take that from from The Book of Proverbs from the book of mish chapter 16 verse 5 to everyone of a hty heart is an Abomination and it says in the when a person every person that has in him this G this rudess he is deserved to be cut down like a tree but not a regular tree a is the tree that they worship what they do now in Christmas they don't know what they're doing in Christmas by the way they're going the it was originally there was there was idolatry done with that type of a tree and the talmud says that a person that has this rudess in his heart and is vulgar is deserved to be cut like that tree and the the the that tree that was used for idolatry had to be burned so the Tam says you have to cut him like a tree the other tree you have to wave all the ashes away like to spread it and that person no no no you don't even spread the ashes and he causes the the feminine aspect of the Divine to to to cry on him and he's considered like a heretic like an idolor and a heretic sorry considered an idolor and he's a heretic who is that person a person who has who's rude and vulgar and the word that he's using is g wow he doesn't even stop that type of person that is rude inside and outside is considered like he came on all the types of the Forbidden relations there are many types of forbidden relations in the Torah a man with a married woman a man with a woman who's not his woman a man with his I mean all the examples a man the daughter and the father and the uncle and the cousin and the it gives you all the description and a man and a man and a woman with a animal and horrible things a person who is rude and is vulgar is like as if he went on all the types of the arot that some of them you you lose your eternity if you have marital relations with a married woman is is almost impossible to reverse so a person who's got rude and vong it's like as if he came on all the and more than that and like as if he built an altar for for idolatry that's how the tud is tagging that type of person even if he will flip his way and will become zealous to God like P he will be as farthest away Like Heaven to Earth like from him to Abraham aino because Abraham ainu was one of the most that was zealous to God even if that person will become zealous you never will reach even to the level of Abraham ainu you're like heaven and earth he he will not be H what's the right word uh the Judgment of Gom can be removed all of us have a judgment from Gom by the way constantly you cheat you lie you look to the wrong direction whatever it is Boom there's a judgment from you need to sweeten the Judgment or you need to deal with it somehow the de the Judgment of Gom sometimes can be removed by chva by many other merits here it says can the Judgment of Gom cannot be removed from it doesn't matter what he's going to do and his end his end will be that he will diminish and diminish he will die way before his time who is that person a person that is vulgar and rude even who was an evil King all the sages of the generation the top top top rabbis of the entire generation worker they were they were like a weed in a in a disgusting field compared to him that's the PO poetic way of the talud this quote can be found in traon sanin page 101b that the tud says about yov just that you know I told you that I I I I I I said I'll do a lecture about yam if you remember at the time when there was all the vaccines and all that stuff and I said that I said a few things and a lot of people weren't so happy with the fact that I said that many rabbis are corrupt when it comes to the vaccines and uh and I said all sorts of things that were uh a true B not so nice C many were taken out of context but many were pointing a finger at me that I'm going against the great rabbis going against theim which was completely wrong I didn't go against anybody I just stated facts ignorant and uneducated people see it that I'm going against the rabbis but first of all if that Rabbi even if he's the chief Rabbi of the world if he's corrupt then it's not going against a Gad I'm going against a criminal that has a beard that's it if I go against him that's going against is but pull out some Rabbi that is huge in our generation but corrupt or you can go against him as much as you want it's not going against a but the point that I'm trying to say here is is that at the time I was saying don't think that all the great rabbis that you worship are that great because we have a story in the tanak with and on the tip of the iceberg I'll tell you the quick story but I said then that I'll do a whole story about it to see what's the power of jealousy and hate and resentment and arrogance and vulgar and rude from the top round of the generation because Yovan bat was really the top top top scholar in generation he was the candidate to be the King after King David and once King David promised that the next king will be schlomo Yan Ben flipped because he was supposed to be king and he wanted to be king and he was the I'm telling you the top Rabbi in the generation that's why the talmud says all all the sages of the generation if you would compare them to him it's like taking a beautiful flower or or some weed on the floor in in the ground all the SES were like weed next to him in his greatness but nevertheless he went against the Torah what he did when he been didn't become a king he went and built his own bet mikdash that's what he did and he gathered with him most of the people all most of theim and they did a festival in a fake bet mikdash fake altars everything was a excuse me made like Torah not like k k didn't do K went against M he made he made the entire nation bow down to Idols in the entrance of the city he had two golden cows Bulls entering the city he made the majority of the Jews bow down to idolatry I don't remember the the the exact number it says in the talud how many people were in bet mikdash that year I think 7,000 or 4,000 some ridiculous number of how many people were in the real bet mikdash and the rest were sacrificing to Idols of Y and he was supposed to be the king he was top Rabbi and jealousy flipped him so also top rabies in our generation can be flipped in one second because they didn't get the position of becoming the chief Rabbi of the city of Israel or whatever politics corruption so let's go back even that the rest of the scholars look like nothing compared to him his Torah was perfect I'm telling you in a level that we can't understand he used to learn everything in the tor3 times so he went through the entire T 103 times when is required from US 101 like like 100 to do it in order to learn and one to show the extra effort I'm telling you I will do such a class it's very interesting to learn from the T the story what happened there and how there was a prophet that came and warned I mean you have to hear the Story Only to understand that this is happening right now in our generation not in the magnitude of yat but the same politics and fighting and at the end of the day yat got the title of he was the one who made most people sin at the same time and all this what caused him to get punished and and leave the world early is only G only being rude and vulgar that what was he was punished for CU obviously he had enough mitv to fight even what he did but nevertheless the K punished him he went before his time not only that he got rid of the of this world really really the world got rid of him and he lost his all this only because he was rude and vulgar and disgusting and what happens when a person is that rude it's like you pushing the legs of the is removed from the world says I'm out I cannot be in this world when that individual is in this world can you imagine I have a scenario in my mind maybe you will relate I have a friend who is married to a lovely woman and he is a very friendly courteous man and he brought into their house a friend who was homeless so for the first three days it was okay but after 5 weeks the wife was already no maybe he's finding a house a room another place to sit and eat all day long and not do nothing so at some point when the guest was real not a good guest at some point the wife told my friend if he's not leaving I'm leaving both of us are not staying in this house enough is enough so the exact same thing the goes out of the world and tells Hashem I'm not staying in this world when this guy's there it's either me or him and that person Rebels directly against hem and you wrap yourself with a but this time you wrap yourself your he wraps himself with the tal of Blessed Be he what does it say about hem in 93a the Lord has reigned he has attired himself with Majesty that's what is said about Hashem in English it doesn't sound well because in Hebrew the verse says the translation in English is okay but it says Hashem is the king he's the only one who can wear on himself Pride cuz he creates everything he's everything he's the only one in the universe that can wear the attire of being proud now again being proud because you were successful in something that's very nice being proud of your child being proud of your whatever that's not what I'm talking about I'm talking about your pride your pride that your ego so you are completely going against Hashem this is a heretic because you're saying no no I'm the proud one I'm the second entity you're going against completely against hm on what do you have to be Pride for for can you take any credit for anything that you did I know I don't need to answer you no of course you don't you can't take credit for nothing you can take credit for your effort I tried I really tried I woke up in the morning I really held my tongue I really was going crazy trying not to say the whatever it is take pride for that but for the result that has nothing to do with you when Hashem wants you to sin and he puts you through a test you have zero say here you will fight and fight and fight and fight and fight sin for the fight you get credit if you fought real good the sin will be this big but the result has nothing to do with you sinning or or not the result is determined by God if God wants you to sin he will make you sin why would God want you to sin for you to be about cha so you can do Chua or many other things sometimes God wants you to to get it sometimes you don't get it and Hashem will make you sin only to make sure that you get it so Hashem has many a a a a many times the the desire for you to sin he wants you to do chva he wants you to see things he wants you to make one plus one he wants you to do good Chua because sometimes you did chuva for something that you sinned chuva I mean repenting but you didn't do good cha and you think that you did CH I'll give you a quick example I borrowed money from a friend and for a very long time I completely ignored it and I know that I borrowed and I'm embarrassed and I'm trying to somehow you know get out of it and I don't answer calls and because I'm embarrassed or I don't have the money the friend is very upset at this point he's upset he's angry he's maybe talking about me whatever but at some point I get myself together and I come and I say you know you're such an amazing man I I don't know where to start apologizing first of all here's the money oh I don't have the money I have only a fraction of it but I'll give you every week a certain amount acknowledge the situation now imagine how you did that and you made amends with the person and the person forgave you but what about if you made amends and you did everything and the person really didn't forgive you think that you did chuva and really you didn't do chuva the person didn't forgive you needed a few more times to praise him and thank him and to soften how do you know maybe your chuva is not complete so sometimes theem will make you fail in the exact same sin over and over and over why because you're not doing the chuva right and finally after 10 20 times that you do the same sin you're getting how to do the CH you understand what I need to repent here now again I'm giving you a very broad idea but that's how it works in many times I many times faced situations where I thought that I did Chua and then I did s the sin over and over to understand obviously my Chua wasn't good I didn't clean it like real good soem makes me sin again on the same department for me to say oh you know what okay I didn't have a desire it wasn't a situation it's a hint from Hashem that's where you need to work on so the only one who can carry G is God and when you are proud in a inappropriate way you are rebelling against God you're heretic according to what he says cu the only one who can be proud is God and again I'm excluding when you're proud of your son that brought a good report card all your your favorite I don't know what team won something that's not the pride that I'm talking about and you can definitely be proud of yourself for achieving something but you can be proud of your effort not on the result if I worked real hard to towards building I don't know a person learns five years four years in a university to be a lawyer becomes a lawyer and gets the license and the degree yeah be proud of yourself cuz you put a lot of effort in the studying but the result of your exam and the fact that you became a lawyer dependent on Hashem that don't be proud that I made myself a lawyer no you put a lot of effort in the learning you put a lot of effort in the exams you invested money yes you put a lot of effort but with all your effort Hashem decided if you pass or not so don't be proud don't have pride for anything and it says what do you have to be proud proud of because you have a academic degree because you built a beautiful successful business because you're an amazing husband or father a wife you're inspiring people what do you have to be proud of you have nothing to be proud of Hashem makes you talk hasem makes you everything you are the tool so here he says what do you have to be proud of you you know where you came from you you you came from a drop that's where you came from from a little drop that's uh something to be proud of and what what created this you through the through the through the drop disgusting dirty blood of the woman's cycle it's called it's the most dirtiest blood that can come out of the body when a mov has a so it says you were conceived from a drop and you were cooked in stinky blood why do you have to be proud of and when you alive you are a bag of dirt you have to wash yourself every day and you stink you produce a horrible scent to a point that you have to wash yourself every day that's how dirty you are and that you have to wear on yourself cologne or whatever because or deodorant because you wre and you have some feelings of Pride you are this big angels look at you and say look at him he has to go to the bathroom he has extraen in him he reproduces this and saliva and snot snots and you are a disgusting being and and you have the to be proud and not only that what happens to you after you die you become food for worms nothing is remaining and when you die and the body gets decomposed your body is left ashes it says gfar let me read it because I just translated and stink after he you become food for worms the end of your body a lamp of of of Earth of dirt but now what happens to your soul well that's how you died there's only one place where your soul goes to you go down to G so Gom you go down one way down Gom you go down and Hashem can only help whoever is in Gom so what do we take from that we're finished now for today the the next H part of the gate will be the opposite now we were introduced to the negative next week we'll be introduced to the positive but look what he's focusing on from all the bad midot make let's make a quick stop I will H make the exercise you need to follow when I want to refine myself I have to look at myself and find the midah that I resent the most let's go back 22 years I'm a young man that just became observant not even observant I just made the decision that I'm going to have to become the observant and in the beginning like I told you I didn't put fing on or go to Yesa or kosher in the beginning I had a few mitv that I took and one of them was to put filin on in the morning with AIT and I used to say the morning prayers and what else uh ah I didn't meet meat I didn't mix meat and dairy that was my k and on Shabbat I I I would do a few things I would leave one of the lights on and but that was that was it and it took me about a year and a half to start becoming observant and then another year and a half to really actually do things and then yes and learning so I started my cha with self-refinement because I could not stand in front of God when I'm still full of fil I I just couldn't I could not bring myself to pray to God when I was lying when I was cheating with my wife with my mouth when I was cursing slandering I I said I I can't I can't so I had to look for the first few midot that bothered me that I want to work on and that's the exercise you need to do so when I did that exercise what bothers what mid bothers me me not you so the first thing that came to my mind I was a I was a a a very angry individual I had a lot of anger issues so I said okay that's one mid that bothers me the anger and then another midow that bothered me that I that I was deceitful I everything was a lie I would line business and line relationships and line everything that I could was a lie I lived a life of a lie and I didn't like that mid had to start working on that and then I cornered a few other mid that bothered me you do the same exercise too you have to think with yourself which attribute in me bothers me that that how do you say put the hands on the table put the card on the table you're talking to yourself you're not talking to me you can say I'm impatient you can say I'm judgmental you can say I'm irresponsible I'm nobody to trust whatever you figure out the mid that you don't like a lot of anger anger is a popular one jealousy is a popular one you have to figure out which Mida bothers you before you even start fixing it and I can tell you already don't do a few at the same time it's very hard you have to do one at a time now today we're not doing an exercise how to start refining your mid I'm telling you now as an exercise find for yourself which attribute you feel that you're failing miserably cuz if I'm looking at myself the attribute of jealousy I I I have no jealousy to anybody I I confess it's not about being proud or arrogant I don't have it some people are very jealous I don't have that Mida in me let's think about something else impatient okay that's a midah that I need to work on even after 20 years of working on myself it's still on the board and you know why because I refined that Mida I don't know to what extent I'm definitely much better than what I was 20 years ago when it comes to being impatient it's a mid now um completely different from how I was 20 years ago but that Midas still needs to be worked on and I will elaborate in other classes what's my tricks it's not from books well how I work on my midot but today you need to recognize where you failing and why you want to recognize where you're failing because everything will be rooted from G so if you now make this exercise and you find that you have a a problem with anger it comes from G if you have a problem with being judgmental it's G you have a problem with being impatient it's G everything that you point on the root is Gava now one might say what is depression or sadness has to do with G or anger or being judgmental or being resentful or I want to be revengeful how do you say Revenge these are all midot by the way the thing is that right now it's not the time to analyze every mid that we're going to do in other classes but since G he's telling you here Pride your ego is the top of all that means all the midot has something to do with G so right now what you need to do is to figure out what's your midot that you want to work on maybe you feel that you're very judgmental which is most people want to work on that or impatient and right now we're talking about the negative midot not the positive because positive mid the way to refine it is just to nourish that mid if you are very courteous nourish it if you very patient nourish that and so forth if you are not judgmental you you nourish it by applying it and then the midah becomes stronger but for the negative then you have to go to the root if you have a problem with anger sometimes the problem is not anger some problem is impatience that causes you to react in a way that is full of anger it's not always what you think but you need to go to the root and to understand if I'm judgmental something is in my ego where is my ego the way for you to deal with this what we just learned is the last paragraph I will quote the verse of remember 93 verse one the practice you have to do here every day is what do I really have to be proud of where was I created from okay from the jop I exactly what he read he read it in a very not and nice way but for you to understand that I have to lower my you have to start with God not with people because with God it's much easier to be proud cuz he doesn't talk to you so openly people react to your behavior God doesn't always react to your behavior so you don't know the status between you and hasem so first you work on your G in front of hem you were successful in something thank you hasem you publicly say Hashem made it happen I put the effort start working on the G towards hem and giving all the credit to God and seeing that God did it and you can in a nice proud way say I put a lot of effort yeah I I I feel good with myself God made the result but I put the effort good partnership so you start reducing the G with hem is humbling you in you in front of hem once are a little bit more humble in front of hasem that's when you're ready to start being humble in front of people so if I have have ego because I have a lot of money the trick here is to look at somebody who has more money and instead of being jealous is saying where do I come from with the H the attitude of Pride that person is way more successful than me that was the attitude of mos raenu MOS raenu said I know I'm doing great but if this would be given to another man there's there any good chance he would do better than me so these are exercises to lower your ego and I'm giving you a few examples you have to bring these examples into your life but the first exercise on the first part of the gate he's telling us that the worst Mida of all is your ego which means that everything that happens to you in a bad negative attribute a characteristic go to the source now you have to be very productive as I told you many times the action is what counts not what you learned go now home and do nothing you wasted your time go home and apply it you're on a good start to start changing things so you have to understand you have to focus on today that the source of all bad attributes is your ego how did he start it's the root to most of your sins now you always have to reverse engineer things so the next time I told you first exercise focus on which mid you want to work right limit your option don't don't try many at the same time find one and again I'm I'm urging you to do it you're sitting here you're watching it if you're not doing it then why you listening to me me go home and make this exercise and decide which Mida of yourself you don't like then you choose the one that you think you can work on and then you backtrack it to your ego to your Gava the next thing like I told you is you start lowering yourself in front of God it's a daily exercise the same way that you do push-ups or stretches or yoga or whatever and if you don't do start doing something can't move not move your body this is another one of the the the lifestyle that the you know penetrated into most people's minds I'm not talking about secular because there there's the the the the the worship of the body everybody needs to look good and I have to show you my and I have to show you my breast that's not the what I'm talking about on the I'm talking about what the did to make mainly in the observant communities that you have to eat disgusting food and not to work out most of theim are fat overweight unhealthy pale look sick and it's against the Torah look at the food in all the religious communities it's not even food it's all sorts of I mean if I go sometimes to the synagogues here to some Tish all that is served is Coca-Cola and zero and things that I don't know if they're qualified to be food by the way no I'm not joking I'm really not joking it's not food it's junk on the table all process all preservative and then you see them all fat and obese and unhealthy and in many of the communities they don't even let the kids play with a ball I know a person that grew up in this Ultra Ultra Ultra religious Community he told me we were weren't allowed to ride a bike or to play with a ball I'm not talking about exercise right now the Torah tells you you have to exercise R tells you the soul is healthy when the body is healthy so we Sidetrack but everything is divine everything that hasem wants me to say comes out of my mouth but what I'm saying is that you you let's go back because I sidetracked first you make an a uh exercise to pinpoint one of the midot you want to focus on then you have to make an exercise I know how I got it because it says you have to exercise daily so the same same way that you exercise daily or eat daily or sleep daily you need to do some exercises and the daily exercise that you need to do is take five minutes out of your life and part of your or not part of your and say to yourself I have no to be proud of anything God is giving me my success I am proud of my efforts I am proud that I'm determined I am proud that I was diligent of myself but the result is 100% from God and nothing to be proud of the amazing result please don't thank me don't praise me praise God and then you go one after the other what I read to you he's asking what do you have to be proud of any he gave us first of all where we come from and where we go where we end and I can stand in front of God do this exercise 3 four minutes a day I guarantee to you after a month you'll have a completely different attitude with ego with you in hasem you'll be much much more humble then you're ready to go out to the world and then when the next scenario occurs that triggers the Mida that you are pinpointing you have to stop you can't do anything you have to stop freeze run away from the situation anything to avoid the repercussion and then you have to go home and reverse engineer what happened what just happened so and then you can be proud of if you were able not to apply the mid then you be proud of yourself but hold yourself whether it's anger whatever it is whatever it is that came to your then you reverse engineer what caused it and a you'll see how it roots to your ego and then you can go to the next practice of just not doing anything and it's the hardest thing to do but you don't do nothing just don't do nothing wait a week two three four half a year in most of the cases you'll see that you're not doing nothing is was the best solution not doing nothing is not to answer back not to be vengeful and do something not to go and slander not to go and I'll do this to pay him back don't do nothing because with the time you realize how you don't want to do anything and good that you didn't do nothing because almost everything that will do would lead to another problem you answer back you'll get a fire back at you you slandered you sinned but it will turn around against you anything that you'll do somehow will be thrown into your face just don't do nothing wait for the next next case to happen and you do the exact same thing nothing says just I believe I don't I I think I don't remember 100% I think it was RAB from that says that if you do that call all your sins are forgiven of course you need to do CH it doesn't work so easy but that's how powerful it this just don't do nothing but I'm telling you don't do nothing because a week or two passes the way how you think and see things changes completely and you'll be sorry for whatever you did and to really exercise what I'm telling you wait for the next time for the same to be triggered reverse engineer that and see how they're if they're similar or not if they're similar then you onto the Mida and you know where to start strengthening it if there different or you have a problem your mid just split into two harder to fix it but we're going into a much higher level in The Learning of this book up until now we're more talking interesting things now he's going to get to now what to do now what to do we all have bad attributes he's jealous he's judgmental she's impatient we all have that we all have the attribute of anger by the way you have it less you have it more there's no such person without anger we have all the midot we all share all the midot some is a lot some is W so now what is left to do next class we're going to talk on the which is an being humble and humility and then we'll go to many other things I mean we have a lot what to go for hey I can just give you a a little bit of a how do you call a trailer we're going to talk a lot about anger we're going to talk a lot about sadness and depression we're going to talk about Kut which is I forgot the word in English hate jealousy all the great things that we all have desires forbidden desires LS s causing separations and many many things it's going to be a very powerful gate which applies to all of us especially in a TI like now and I'm telling you already if you go home and you wait for the next class and don't do nothing don't come to the next class if you're going home and today you're applying it then just because you did right away then Hashem will allow you to really do it in a smooth way because he sees that you are true that's how I believe God helped me because he saw that I was determined and I wanted it I desired to fix my you know that in I'm coming I'm going to tell you in on a secret right now that nobody knows maybe my wife I mean I think I told her most of my secrets it's not that much of a secret don't don't don't hold your seats but I'm telling you a secret that become when I became observant after my near-death experience it took me about 2 years to really become really observant No 2 and 1 half years years close to three years but the entire time till I met my Rabbi and became till that time in my mind my chuva was planned to be like a a good person in my mind I I was like okay Hashem you got me I going to be a good person I'm not going to lie anymore I'm not going to cheat in business anymore not going to cheat people anymore um all the bad things that I ever did I'm not going to do anymore but this is not going to happen okay I'll do the K Shabbat I'll be like light every morning kosher a little bit that was my okay I'll be for me was huge religious but this is not going to happen no Yeshiva no that was my mind almost three years so hasm had to throw me to jail for a year and a half to tell me oh yeah okay we I have patience that's when I really got my act together but the point said is that in my mind I was trying to trick AEM no I'll do the minimum but I can definitely tell you that the Divine assistance that I got got from God throughout the years in helping myself refine myself is only because he saw guarantee my determination and my desire My strong desire to make it work I'm I in my mind I'm not going to be but a lie will never come out of my mouth and I will never ever steal or ever cheat I will be a good person that was my deal with Hem Of course he didn't AC accept it he says no you're going to be a good person with a beard but but I really wanted to I wanted to change my ways so if you don't really want it's not going to work you need to that's why I told you you need to exercise what I just told you it's very simple and then you want to desire it you want to like you dream of achieving something in your life one person Wants To Be A Millionaire one person wants to be a great musician another person wants to be a great athlete people has have dreams and aspirations that should be your dream I want to be a mench I want to be honest I want not to have any lie coming out of my mouth just that you understand these things are huge you are worried not to desecrate Shabbat I know I see on your face how you worried not to desecrate Shabbat but many people are not worried about what comes out of their mouth and all the internal struggle which sometimes it's much worse than the actual act thinking negative things about another person in front of you you didn't say anything thinking it the teachings of of cabala says the damage is worse doing it in your thoughts so you can cheat on your wife in your thought I never Che cheat on my wife yeah but you cheat on your wife in your thought five times a day so you are a cheater don't don't don't pretend you're not the fact that you didn't do the physical act with another woman thank you very much we'll give you that but if you're doing it in your mind what's the difference what's the difference if you're doing it in your mind and like I told you the teachings of cabala says it's worse because it's a much higher and more refined garment that you're damaging so we have a lot of work to do let's start focusing on G because that's the root of everything of all evil of course and will trigger many many many sins next week we'll start working on the anava because you work on the source not like in the nature of this world go to the symptom no no no no no no don't go to the symptom don't put a Band-Aid that's not going to work and when it comes to T people think that the Band-Aid is that if I have anger and I screamed at you and insulted you or scared you that if you say and oh I'm so sorry I I had a bad day and you're like yeah yeah okay okay that's that's a uh do you call a plaster a a band rubber band not a Band-Aid it doesn't work you have to go to the source and you have to figure out where where you're damaging and we all do that and trust me it's the most amazing feeling of self-refinement of of of anything of achievement it's an amazing feeling and when I look back how I was in certain things 20 years ago and how I deal with the exact same situations now sometimes I FL myself sometimes I'm like shocked at myself and you know what's the trickier is at that moment I don't say I I I lower my head down and I feel so humble in front of Hashem that he was able to do what I'm not able to do and you know way you really appreciate it is if you are addicted to something and you cannot get rid of it and you're able to get rid of it there's no more of a liberating feeling and a feeling of self- achievement but when I had to get rid of all my addictions I get gave all the glory to God because I knew that I can't do it I knew it I I was smoking cigarettes for I don't know what 16 17 years I was smoking three packs a day I could not stop for my life and when I finally stopped I understood I couldn't do it only hasem was able to do it for me and doesn't matter if it's drugs alcohol cigarettes what whatever addiction I made I made I had almost all the addictions the only addiction I didn't have is gambling thank God everything else I was addicted to in a severe way not like a in a severe severe way getting out of your addiction only God can do that for you and when you understand how weak you are against your addiction and God does it in a blink of an eye you understand how weak you are and how powerful God is and that's should make you very humble in front of hasem and it works even after 20 years that I look sometimes at situations and I don't believe myself of my reaction and I turn to Hashem and I say wow unbelievable unbelievable how you did it and the answer that I get is that it takes two to tango and I get a Divine answer from hasem telling you you also did great you didn't do nothing you applied the method of don't do nothing no reaction with your mouth no reactions with your hands no reactions with with thoughts in your mind block it completely you block the situation for a day or two or two hours till the anger goes down and then you look at it completely different all about being humble in front of Hashem the rest will just follow [Music]