TBC - Day 18 - 'Family values' - Rabbi Alon Anava | Atzmut.org

[Music] [Applause] [Music] so we're in the 18th day yesterday or no before yesterday we started learning another type of approach in our chuva is to look at things a little bit as they say out of the box and i gave a breakdown of the five letters of chuva based uh on some verses and we learned that that taff of chuva was filah and torah learning torah and praying and we gave a few verses and so forth we were explaining about the importance of praying and torah yesterday we learned about the shin the shin of chuva was israel which referred to emunah to believe and today we're going to do the vav of teshuva and i explained in the first class that this corresponds to the verse that we have in the book of bereshit chapter 2 verse 24 where it says and he cleaved to his wife it says about adam and chava and interestingly that all the verses that show to us uh the constitu the constitutive constitutive a family structure about the institution institution about the family they all start with the letter val maybe i'm saying the wrong the word the wrong way uh constitutive right that's how you said constitutive constitutive so you know the family structure the institute of the family is one of the most important things in our life and believe it or not that's a major role in chuva like i said in the other day people think that shiva is just me beating myself on my head and fasting and running to people and saying i'm sorry that's of course another part of the chuva but how i conduct my life is a major role in my cuba and the family structure is one of the most powerful and important parts of my cuba now as i said all the verses that they focus on the family institution on the or the constitutive part of the family they all start with a letter love so here we start with the first verse which is veda vacabishto and he cleaved to his wife a man gets married that's it he takes his wife and they build the house so we see the letter starts with love then we have another verse in the torah and this should be fresh in your mind because we just read that last week and it says this can be found in the book of ibrahim chapter 24 verse hey and it says and he delighted his wife whom he has taken when the groom a man takes a wife the first year he has to really spoil his wife so we see again a verse that starts with the letter v made his wife happy now of course there's a famous famous verse that shows on the importance of the structure of their home is vashinantam that you should teach them to your sons this is what we say in kirachma every day in the book of devarim chapter 6 verse 9. again we see that the letter the the letter above is what starts the the verse so this is coming to teach us something very very important that my family life is a very important role in my chuva because unfortunately today the structure of a normal family life is completely distorted a gay marriage two mothers two fathers no marriage how many people are like i'm a single parent you know that poor child that needs to grow up because the parent excuse my language a little bit is off the the path now the child needs to grow with a with one parent or with two parents from the same gender and all these weird things that the structure of a normal healthy family structure is completely distorted in our generation that it's normal to have two fathers or two mothers or some people i know people they say i don't want to get married but i want to have a child so i'm a single parent now listen if you were widowed if you got divorced i understand that's a whole different thing but when you deliberately go to become a single parent that's not the path of the torah that's completely destroying and distorting the the family institution so a major part in mychuva is how i live my life as a family that my i raise my children in a healthy way as we say that three times a day vashinantam you should teach it give it over to your kids teach them over the torah should you teach them the torah to your sons and the structure of a house that the person cannot be the torah doesn't recommend for a person to be single in some other faiths it's it's a normal thing that a person no he has to be a monk or whatever can get married that's not the path of the torah the pale you should have to get married you have to have a wife and kids so why is that so important because the teachings of the of the kabbalah explains that the family structure is a chariot to the srina and when you have a normal healthy family structure you bring on yourself the revelation of the shrine you become a chariot to the srinah so unfortunately today everything is going against the ruin that normal structure that it's totally normal in the eyes of society to change the gender it's totally normal to behave in ways that it's completely against the torah so how do you counteract is by living a life of a normal family when the child has a mother and the father and there's the father role and the mother role and the family structure which of course why is that so important because you know one of the greatest mitzvot that we have is called family purity that the wife when she's in a cycle she separates from the husband and she goes to the migraine that's what brings the purity on the entire household needless to say that when you practice that a normal life style of a family there's a respect between the father and the mother that the child sees that the child grows in a healthy way that there's education of the kids that they go to the learn torah and the right path so why am i saying all this because a lot of people they get locked on the chuva i have to like suffer and fast and repent and i was so horrible and i'm not negating that but i'm just saying that your lifestyle is completely uh important to your path of the chuva so we started with toran filam that's a life of a jew is around the shul it's around prayers five times a day you pray you learn torah there's no such a thing cannot be an observant jew that doesn't learn torah it doesn't work together this is part of our life then we went to the next pillar of our true of our life is emunah i have to live in the munna that we i go to work yeah i put my effort but the parliamentary comes from hashem everything that i do i do the effort but hashem gives me the blessing so the next step is the family structure how important it is for the ones who are married to value that and to nourish that the ones are not married and put it in your highest priority you have to build a house you have to find your other half and establish it and a lot of people are lazy about it a lot of people unfortunately it's not so easy for them but either way you're looking at it that's a major role in my chuva is how i live my life and how i conduct my life as a family man why because that would brings the shrine because you become a chariot to the srinah and you bring the shrine onto you and that is a major role in your chuva because you learn how to respect your life how to treat your kids in the right way how not to be working on your middle anger and and patience and jealousy it's a major part in your chuva so do not think that she was only me now tapping myself on my back and hitting myself and fasting and that's important but how i live my life in the path of the torah that's a major part in our cuba [Music] you