Parashat Vayishlach - Who are you kidding? You are exactly the same... - Rabbi Alon Anava

I'm sure every person that is going to listen to this class has at least one individual in their life of what I'm about to explain. I'm assuming that every person that is either physically here or watching the class is in time some type of a way on a path of a doing chuvah. Whether you're 20 years into your chuvah, whether you just started, whether you're just looking into convert, whether you're just looking to do chuvah, it doesn't matter. If you're listening to this class, the common denominator that we all have is that we're all trying to have some type of a relationship with Hashem, and we're changing our path towards this connection. And again, it can be 30 years that you're already doing chuvah, and it can be 3 months. But nevertheless, since we all share a common denominator, I'm 100% sure that we also share another common denominator that we all have at least one person in our life that is going completely the wrong way in regards to Torah and mitzvot. And it bothers us. That's the fact that we all share. Because whether you are a convert, whether you're about chuvah, whether you so much more so if you were born observant, everybody has in their life at least one person that is going completely into the wrong direction. Forget about the wrong direction in life. Talking about wrong direction in regards to Torah and mitzvot, and it bothers you. And you're saying, "What can I do to save this individual?" Could be my child, can be my parent, can be my best friend. I was born secular, but I became observant. I look at my family. It hurts me to see that they're not going in the path of the Torah. And doesn't matter what I say, doesn't matter what I say, they're still They're not on that path. And I try to do whatever I can to inspire these this individual because I understand this is the truth. Then why should I see now my loved one going on a path that will lead them to a spiritual disaster. So we all share this common ground that each and every one of us in our life has this at least one. It could be sometimes 20 people that I see them walking straight into the pit of Gehenna. No connection to Hashem. Doesn't matter what you tell them. Now what do you do with this type of individual? You want me from the bottom of your your your neshama, you want to help this individual. But that individual seems that there's no interest at all. So this week's parashah comes and seals to us this concept because the reason I decided to talk about it because then each and every one of us has at least one of this type of individuals and in many of the cases it's much more. And you are coming to the same spot with the same question. Now what do I do with this individual? I care about whether it's my child, my mother, my my friend. I care about them. I want to inspire them to go in the path of Torah and mitzvot and I don't know what to do. So this week's parashah comes and gives us in-depth information specifically on this topic. And not only specific information, is also the guide the right guidance what needs to be done. We're very close to the end of the book of Bereshit. We already eight parashot into the into the book. A few more parashot, four more weekly portions and we're done with the book of Bereshit. Now you can definitely say that in the book of Bereshit we have met the most uh people that we are acquainted with. Every parasha, new people are coming up. New you know players. And the rest of the books, it's Moshe Rabbenu, it's whoever's around Moshe Rabbenu, the nation of Israel and we don't get introduced to new individuals. Okay, a little bit in Bamidbar we get introduced to new individuals, Korach and Bil'am and but in the book of Bereshit, every week we are introduced to new people. So, since we almost finished the book of Bereshit, who would you think is the most interesting individual in the book of Bereshit that we can take something serious into our life? You have Adam Harishon, Noach, Avraham, Yosef. I mean, look how many people you have who to choose from. But if I would have to tell you who's the person you learned the most from in the book of Bereshit? Avraham, Yitzchak I think that the most mysterious individual in the book of Bereshit that first of all, you don't even know what's his status really. You don't know if he's really a wicked individual, if he's a righteous individual. Is he good? Is he bad? We don't even know so much about him. But I think that Esau is one of the most mysterious individuals in the book of Bereshit. Every individual that we read about, every guest star in the book of Bereshit, has what to teach us. Starting with Adam Harishon, of course. And then Noah, and those other stars that we know of them, but we don't know nothing about them. Methuselah, Sheth. But here we have at least 10 individuals that I would say are dominating figures in the book of Bereshit. Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and all the kids of Jacob. Now, who in your eyes is the most I don't know if to say the most special one, but the one you can learn the most. So, I'm sure each one will raise their hand to a different name. I think that with no doubt Esau is one of the most interesting images or individuals in the book of Bereshit. Because every individual that we read on in the book, we have some type of a connection to. There's a That's that type of individual is within me. And each and every one of us has in us the Esau that is in me. The one that goes away from the path of Hashem, the one who rebels, the one who's not you know, the the righteous individual of the book. When we learn about Abraham, we learn about Isaac, we learn about these giant righteous individuals. But if the Torah is also introducing to me Laban and Esau and a few other in Ishmael every individual in the book is coming to teach me something, and each of one of these individuals can be found within me, in my personality, in my tikkun, in my path in this world. So, today we're going to focus a lot on Esau. Because Esau is really the first Jewish boy that goes in the wrong path. Okay, you can maybe say Ham, but Noah was not considered Jewish. Really, the only one who can call himself the first Jew is Avraham Avinu. So, that makes Esau the first Jew that goes off the path. After him, thousands, if not millions, that decided this is not for me, and I rather enjoy this world. So, we have the first individual who's a Jew. He's born here to a Jewish mother. He's born to Rivka. And he goes off the path. If the Torah takes the time to introduce me to Esau, then I have a lot what to learn from him. And the Torah has a lot what to teach me, and how the figure of Esau is influencing me. Therefore, I find it that one of the most interesting characters in the book of Bereshit is Esau. To go and learn from Avraham Avinu, okay, so you learn to be kind, and you learn to be righteous, and okay, that's very good teaching. But if the Torah already is taking the length to go and explain about Esau, let's see what the Torah has to say about Esau. So, first of all, we have to understand that Esau was a man that went after his heart. And that is the common ground for most people. Most people go out after their heart. They don't go work with their mind. They go where their heart takes them, where the desires are, where the lusts are, where the impulses are. How many people can say I work 100% by my brain? Let's Let me turn turn the ball to the other side. How many people actually have a brain that they can work and operate with that brain? I I mean, no, a lot of you will say, "Oh, what are you talking about? There's a lot of intellectual people." That's not what I'm talking about. The fact is that very few people are actually working with their brain to see what's going on in the world, put one plus one, and come up to some type of uh uh uh um sequence, some type some type of order, some type of common sense. Most people are not working with their brain. Most people, their brain is shut down a long time ago. But, nevertheless, let's focus on the fact that Esau is a person like you and me. That what interests him is his impulses. And he's a very strong characteristic that is very passionate about his emotions and his decisions and how he looks at life. And when Esau was angry, he was angry all the way. And when he was uh uh loving, a a person who gives love, he was uh all the way. And like I told you, each and every one of us has the Esau that's in me. That just wants to experience pleasure, that wants to pursue uh the passions and and lusts and desires and that's us. Really? If I need to look at an image in the book of Bereshit and find myself in one of them, it's not in anyone. I'm not Avraham Avinu. I'm a person of hesed that only wants to be devoted to Hashem. And let's not kid ourselves. I'm not Avraham Avinu, not Avraham Avinu. I mean, maybe close to the level of Avraham Avinu. When I'm looking at an image like Avraham Avinu, that's like, hey, you know, a righteous person on the wall, like a tzaddik. I'll ever be like Avraham Avinu? I'm not even close. Nahon. The teachings of Maimonides says that you need to look at these leaders, need to look at these righteous people, and uh follow them as as a guide, as a as a a person you look up to. But let's cut to the chase. Am I Joseph Azadik? Am I in that level? Am I in the level of Yakov? I'm not in the level of neither one of them. I'm more in the level of Esau. If I'm looking now at some type of individual from the book of Bereshit that I need to relate with, it's Esau. A regular man that cares about life pleasure. That's us. Let's cut to the chase. Okay, some of us are a little bit more refined. We're looking for a more refined path in life, and we find it through the Torah. But we're still struggling with my Esau. I am still struggling with pleasuring my body and limiting that pleasure or pursuing these pleasures. I told you already that the mantra that goes on in my mind for to last 20 plus years is who are you kidding? That's it. I look in the mirror and I tell myself, "Who are you kidding?" Okay, there's nothing wrong with being uh Torah observant. Laugh and you have to be Torah observant, but I don't kid myself that I'm some tzaddik. It's not that I look in the mirror and I'm like, "Wow, look at this beard. Wow, I'm such a tzaddik. Wow, I prayed today. Wow, and I said a bracha before I drank." I'm I look in the mirror and I see the same individual that I saw in the mirror 30 years ago, just now a little bit more refined, targeted on the Torah and the and the mitzvot. And that's it. But other than that, I don't credit myself that I'm some pious individual. Therefore, when I'm looking at the book of the of Bereshit, the one that I can relate with the most is Esau. That's it. Who are we kidding? Use my mantra. Who are you kidding? Esau, okay, we made him, you know, uh a mafia guy. Esau is a person like me and you. That he doesn't really care too much about Torah and Mitzvot, and he pursues his desires and his lusts and his emotions and he's a very emotional individual. You're getting upset, he gets very angry. What, you don't get angry when you get upset? Who are you kidding? I'm telling you this mantra works very well for the last 22 years. I am not Abraham Avinu, and I will never be in the level of Abraham Avinu. I am looking up to Abraham Avinu. He's an example for me, but I also know who I am and where I am. So, I can recap it by saying I relate with Esau. A man that he's pursuing not that I'm exactly like Esau, but Esau he cares about one money. He wants to make money. That's 99.9% of the population of the world. They're looking, they're going after money. And Esau likes women, good. I also like women. Well, I like my wife, of course, but as a man, I like women. Take a secular individual, let's say a secular man. What do you think What do you think a man thinks of all day long? And again, who are you kidding? Go now in the street, pick any man. Use the special machine that we have that reads his his mind. What do you think he thinks of all day long? Well, maybe not all day long, but a fair share of the day he's thinking of the other gender. He sees a beautiful woman, he has all sorts of ideas. I can't say that with women, I'm not a woman to tell you. But, Esau is a regular man. If I need to look at the person right now. So, we all have the Esau in me that only wants to have pleasure. I want to have pleasure from food. I want to have pleasure from being dressed nice. I want to drive a nice car. I want to enjoy a good meal. I want to enjoy a good movie, a good vacation. I have impulses. I have desires. So basically Esau is an average individual in this world. That's who Esau stands for. And you have to understand that Esau is of course extreme in the Torah. And Esau also comes to tell us that if you are an emotional individual and you don't balance your emotions with intellect, with brain, you're going to suffer a lot. That's it. And you can see it straight up. If a person is very impulsive and very emotional and there's no a mixture of some common sense here, some second which usually will come from the Torah, you'll see the person will suffer. With all sorts of confusions and being distressed or whatever it is. What most people don't understand and I think this class will relate to most people who are watching it. If you're in the level of looking in the mirror and saying, "Who are you kidding?" If you're looking in the mirror and because you wear a yarmulke and a beard, you think you are a tzaddik, then you have a problem in your life. Uh you need to look in the mirror and see the reality. So hopefully smart people will listen to the class cuz this is the reality. The reality is that most people don't understand that many of your desires you can't fulfill them. I was hit with this reality 22 years ago that sometimes you have a desire and you can't pursue it and you won't be able to even if you want to. Move it away from even from the shelf. That was my big turning point when I became observant. What? I can't do this? I can't do that? That's it. Story's over. Some of the passions that you're after, remove them from the list. You can't pursue them. The Torah doesn't allow you. When you reach to an understanding that a lot of your passions or your desires or your lusts cannot be fulfilled, that's the day when you can start growing spiritually. Until you get to that point, you have an issue. If you think that every desire and every lust that you have, you will be able to fulfill. And you have to understand that feelings are always more stronger than the reality. I'll explain that in depth. Most people are miserable. And I'm talking about the people what I'm explaining now. A person that doesn't understand that I discern desires that I can't pursue. Uh and that the emotions will always be stronger. These are a miserable people because they sometime they're up because they were able to pursue some desire and fulfill it. And then they're down because they can't. So, they're going up and down, up and down emotionally. And and more than that, if a person is that type of person, he will never be satisfied. If your passion is money, it doesn't matter how much money you'll have, you'll never be satisfied. If your passion is the other gender, if a man is passionate to women, how many women can you be with? You'll never satisfy that need. So, almost anything that you have some type of a desire to, if it's forbidden, forget about it. You'll never be satisfied. And if you don't know how to put it under control, then one time you'll be up because you were able to fulfill this desire you have, and one time you're down cuz you weren't. And this up and down will drive a person crazy. I'm looking at these people as as as miserable people. But, A, I have to give a disclosure. I was one of these miserable individuals 20 plus years ago. The second thing is that I find before we start that Esau is the most powerful uh uh image or individual in the book of Bereshit that can teach us a lot of practical things in my life. Avraham Avinu is a good example. Yosef Hatzadik, whoever you're going to name now in the book of Bereshit. But if I need practical advice to get me out of the swamp where I am, or if I'm looking at another person that's in that position and I want to help, Esau is the right person to go to. So as usual, we have to start the class with a few questions. Question number one. And the questions that we're going to talk about are around the story that we were acquainted last parashah, that Rivka tricks, so to say, Esau and Isaac by pushing Jacob through the back door to get the blessings. The whole story is say, can sit and and and read on it for hours because there's so much commentary, but the story is hard to understand. My question right now is what did what was the aim of Rivka? When Rivka did that, Rivka has two sons. They're the same age. They're twins. Could be that a mother will reject one of her sons? Have you thought about that? Rivka is the Yiddishe Mama, right? This uh Jewish mother type. Does it make sense to you that Rivka, who's coming to teach us about motherhood, will reject her son? Esau, of course. Have you ever thought of this question? Because most people don't. Most people are cheering for Yaakov, right? They're forgetting that Esau is Rivka's child just as Yaakov. Yaakov is with peyot and he sits and learns Torah and Esau cut his beard and he drives a convertible Mercedes. That's the difference between them. And you want to tell me that Rivka rejects her son? That's the message our matriarchs is giving me? No. I don't get it. I don't accept this. I do not accept that Rivka is turning her back against Esau. I don't like you. I don't want to have anything to do with you and I'm with him. The Torah says Yaakov Yitzchak loved Esau and that Rivka loved Yaakov. Okay, I understand sometimes you have favorites, but that's not rejecting the child completely. So what is the Torah trying to tell me with this story? There is a story told by Levi Yitzchak from Berditchev. The story goes that on Erev Yom Kippur the gabbai of the Rabbi Levi Yitzchak from Berditchev comes and advertises to the entire community, if you want to deposit a name for pidyon nefesh, it's going to cost you one ruble. Previous years, you can write whatever names and the rabbi will do the pidyon nefesh. I'm not going to explain now what's pidyon nefesh in case you don't know it, but nevertheless, it's a long explanation, but there's a way how you give a certain amount of money and you redeem the soul with a certain act. Doesn't matter right now. Let's focus on the story. The gabbai of Levi Yitzchak from Berditchev says, "No, no, no, forget about what we had in previous years. The orders of the rabbi is that this year every name you submit to pidyon nefesh is going to cost you one ruble." Okay. Comes Erev Yom Kippur, one woman comes to the to to the gabay and says, "Listen, I'm a very poor individual. I turned the whole life upside down to find two rubles, one for me, one for my son. I only have one ruble. Can I speak to the rabbi?" Okay, she goes and speaks to Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev and he tells her, "No, that's the rule. One name, one ruble. You only have one ruble, so you decide, you or your son. That's it. That's the rule of the year." So, it took her exactly a second and a half and she's like, "Okay, put my son's name down. Forget about my name. Just put my son's name down. I'd rather him get the blessing." Okay. After this happens, Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev takes this and he turns to Hashem and he says, "Look at this Jewish woman. It's obvious to her that her son goes in front of her when it comes to a blessing. She didn't even think. She has one ruble, she can only submit one name. She didn't even think of herself. Right away she told me to write the son's name. And what about you, Hashem? You prefer your rules or you prefer the child? That's of course the level of Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev to talk like this to the master of the universe. But he was trying to make a point with Hashem. That you look at this mother. She has only one option of one name to pray for, she puts this child. That's it. And Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev used that to be the the defense attorney of Am Yisrael with that story in front of Hashem. So, what do you think now that we went through this quick story? What do you think Rivka's having in her mind? You think Rivka when he gets rid of Esau? That's the mother that the Torah is painting to us. You really think that Rivka thought that by switching Yakov instead of Esau, Yakov will get the blessing? You think Rivka's stupid? The bracha, the blessing goes after the intention. If in If in Yitzhak's mind, he's blessing Esau, that's what counts. You think this little trick of switching the body and putting the the coat on and What would the blessing to Yakov be help? You know what I mean? What will the blessing help that she tricked Yitzhak and she squeezed Yakov in in in? You think the blessing will work? In Yakov's mind In Yitzhak's mind, he's blessing Esau. And Rivka, trust me, is not a stupid individual. That's definitely not what she was trying to do. Listen, here we have to work a little bit with common sense cuz we read the story every year and it doesn't make sense. Let's try to make some sense in the story. Rivka when she switched Yakov with Esau, she basically appointed Yakov to have responsibility over his brother. By saying, "You need to take care of your brother. Your brother doesn't know how to take care of himself." The whole switcheroo here is Rivka telling Yakov, "You You see it. Now go take care of your brother. Your brother doesn't get it." In order to understand this concept, let's present another question. And this question is not asked by me, it's asked by most of the commentaries. And the question is that once you ask this question, you understand that there's something in the story that you don't know. In the Torah, you have to be a little bit detective. If you just read the Torah as a book, you won't really get anything from it. You need to ask questions. If you don't ask questions all the time, you're not really learning the Torah. You're reading a story. And that's it. Because almost every second, third verse, a question can come up. So, when you going to ask this question, you right away understand there's something in the story that doesn't mean a a missing detail that I don't know of. What does Yakov do? You know what? Before we ask what Yakov does, we have the story that the Rivka switches Yakov with Esau. And that it remains as is, and then Yakov goes on his quest, and 34 years later he comes back. That's really what we're introduced in this class, in this parashah. So, now that we we don't know what's going on yet with the story, but we fast forward it 34 years. Now, what do we see Yakov is doing? We see Yakov, excuse my language, kissing Esau's tuches. But in a disgusting way. In uh you know, in in Hebrew we call we call it rakhrukhi. Rakhrukhi, the translation that I found is flabby or soft. Rakh means soft. Rakhrukhi means that you are you I don't even know what's a nice word of saying it. Hm? What? Sycohant. No. I would say that I don't know. I don't have a nice word for this type of behavior. A wuss. I mean, what what what what is this Yaakov doing? You like a little girl to your brother. I don't get it. A, you are an a mature individual. You're in your 90s already. Second of all, you wealthy, you're rich, you're educated. More than that, you have Hashem's blessing to protect you from everything. And you're going and and and and trying to sweetheart your brother. I don't get it. Come to Esau and tell him you want war? I'll give you war. Think I'm afraid of war? You have men, I have men, too. I have Forget about men. I have Hashem's promise. Hashem promised Yaakov, you have nothing to worry about. I will dress you, I will clothe you, I will feed you, I will protect you. What is this whole ceremony, this rachukhi, this soft ceremony that Yaakov is doing in front of Esau? All the bowing down and giving presents and All the presents he's throwing here is bribes, by the way. He came with a envelope full of cash. That doesn't make sense. A, what is Yaakov afraid for of afraid of? You don't have bitachon in Hashem? Yaakov, you don't have trust in Hashem that took care of you now for the last 34 years? And gave you a promise. You can't even imagine you have a promise from Hashem, I'll protect you. So, what are you afraid of? You're afraid of your brother. Now, if you're afraid of your brother, so you did something wrong? Yaakov, you did something wrong that you have to be afraid? What's going on here? This entire ceremony, half of the the parashah that we're reading doesn't make sense. What's going on here? What is Jacob afraid of? Why is Jacob have to pretend like a wuss in front of Esau? My master, that's even worse. Then he calls him my master. You my master? 34 years Jacob disappears, right? 14 years he goes to Shem and Ever, and then 20 years he's by Laban. 34 years the man disappears. Then he goes out of Haran. He initiates an act that he sends the angels to Esau to do peace. This is a Jacob initiative. It's not that Esau was going towards Jacob. Jacob initiated, let's make peace. Now a question that I have. 34 years you didn't hear from Esau. Now you decide to wake him up? Why do you wake up a sleeping dog? Would you go and wake up a sleeping dog? Somebody's a problem for you, and the person is busy with their own thing, you wake them up? Why would Jacob go and wake up Esau? You think Esau is an idiot? Esau couldn't go down to Haran? A three-day uh trip? Esau didn't know where Jacob is? Esau knew exactly where Jacob is. He knew what's going on, but Esau was busy with his own business. With his own life. If Esau wanted, he would go down already to Jacob and do whatever he wants. Okay, so we know that Esau said, "I'll wait for my father to die." So Mr. Jacob, why are you going and waking up Esau now? Esau didn't come to you. You're him up. Let's make peace. So, 34 years, Mr. Jacob, you didn't think of your brother? Now, you're sending him a telegram, let's make peace. I don't understand it. Why is Jacob running after Esau? 34 years, what what what were you doing? You want to tell me you were so busy, you couldn't pick up a phone? You couldn't pursue peace then? Something here doesn't make sense. And worse than all this, like I told you, Jacob, with all the tuchus kissing, starts calling Esau my master. You're my master? I don't understand Eight times he calls him you're he tells him you're my master. I don't get it. Okay. And what's more not understandable with him calling him brother a master, because Rivka already had the prophecy. We read that last chapter, in Bereshit chapter 25, verse 23, and the elder will serve the younger. Ve rav ya'avod tza'ir. So, you already know that the older will serve you, why are you calling him my master? I don't know the word in English. In Hebrew, the word is is the word is litchanef, chanufa. Uh in English Sycophant. Hm? Sycophant. How did you say it? Sycophant, sycophant. Sycophant? That word means you're going to bootlick. Chanufa is like excuse my language, to kiss tuchus, to I don't want to use not nice words. But, yeah, it's when I uh I'm sure there's a nice word for that. In Hebrew, it's called chanufa. And the not the so nice word is kissing tuchus is another term that is not so nice to say, but nevertheless, why is Yaakov kissing Esau's tuchus? Ma mitkaneff? Ma Why are you like after your brother? Especially that you know that Rivka, your mother, prophesied that he will serve you. He's You're not his He's not your master. And after all this, Yaakov bows down to him seven times. Bowing down to somebody, what's going on here? So, I can tell you one thing, Yaakov knows something that we don't know. That's the difference. We're missing a a few details. Now, pay attention to what it says in the verses. You have to pay attention for every word in the verse. Go to chapter 32, verse 5 in our parashah, and it says as follows: "I have sojourned." Or maybe I'm pronouncing it wrong, "with Laban." I've lived with Laban, basically Yaakov is saying, "And I have tarried until now." I'm assuming tarried is I'm late. Okay? The pasuk in Hebrew, va'eich garti im Laban, garti im va'eich charadata. Yaakov is apologizing to to Esau for being late. Have you ever read this verse? You did. Did you understand that Yaakov is apologizing for being late? No. So, what is he apologizing for? Being late for what? But that's the verse in our parashah that Yaakov tells him, "I'm sorry, my dear brother, I have lived with Laban. I'm sorry for being late." Late with what? That's why I tell you, when you're learning the Torah, if you don't stop for questions, so you're not learning nothing. 20 years I learned this parashah. And every time va'eich charadata, and I and I'm late. I never asked myself, "What are you late for?" You're late for the bar mitzvah? What are you late for? The thing Yaakov was apologizing for being late is to give over to Esau the message that he got from Rivka. Yaakov gave received a message from Rivka to give over to Yaakov, and Yaakov didn't do it for 34 years. And now he's apologizing, "I'm sorry, my brother, that I'm late with giving you the message." What's this message? Before we understand what this message is, we need to understand the idea what Rivka did. Rivka knows that Yaakov is about to miss the blessing. She tells him, "Go and cook the the the the the food, and here's the the the jacket, and go in and do this and do that." Okay. We have to understand why Rivka is sending Yaakov in the clothes of Esau. First of all, okay, so Isaac is blind. He's not stupid. He's a prophet. So, Rivka thinks that she can trick what's going on here and dress Yaakov and It seems like Yaakov is doing everything possible in his encounter with Esau. Just don't go into war. Right? It's like Esau seems that he wants to go to war in the eyes of Yaakov, and Yaakov is like, "I'll pay you. I'll flatter you. I'll give you presents. I'll just no war." Okay, that I can understand. If you read the lines, it seems like Yaakov is like, "Listen, uh war, what is it good for? We all We're all going to suffer. It sounds like a lot of common sense and I you can relate with it. But why is Yakov apologizing to in all this to to Esau and for being late? So, we have to understand one more question. Why is Yakov afraid of Esau? You don't need to come up with excuses here. Yakov has a promise from Hashem that he's going to protect him. So, why are you afraid of Esau? Just come like a man and say, "Okay, I understand the situation. I'm sorry for being late with the message I have to give you. But why is Yakov afraid? So, you have to understand that in Yakov's eyes, Esau has two merits above him. The first merit that Esau did kibud av v'em for 34 years and Yakov didn't. And Yakov says, "He has it over me. For 34 years, he lived next to mom and dad. He's the one that did kibud av v'em, kibud parents, honoring the parents for 34 years and I didn't do anything. That's first thing that Yakov is afraid. The second thing is that Yakov is afraid cuz he's married to two sisters and Esau is not. And Yakov knows that there's a loophole how he was able to do it. But really in the eyes of the Torah, he was he wasn't supposed to do it. So, he's afraid that he has two bad points in front of Esau. So, he's afraid. Now, let's explain it a little bit more clearer. There is a term in the teachings of Kabbalah that is called orot gedolim or orot merubim, a lot of light or big lights, bekelim ketanim, in small vessels. O kelim muatim, very few vessels. One of that depends where you're reading it. But this is a concept known in the teachings of Kabbalah. You have a light and you have a vessel and the light goes in the vessels. Sometime there's too much light or a lot of light and the vessel is too small. That's it. This is a very known concept in Kabbalah. To explain that, each and every one of us has a lot and lot of emotions. And the power of the emotions varies between individual and varies between the emotion. But we're all emotional people. You can be a calm, good individual until I'll poke one of the emotions and suddenly the emotion overpowers and you're a whole different person. Whether it's anger, whether it's disappointment, whatever it is. But you are calm, nice, good individual till one of the emotion is getting all hyped up. And when one of the emotions will get aroused or hyped up, the power of it is unbelievable. If a person the emotion of whatever it is right now, doesn't matter the example, so we're not going to sidetrack. The emotion can be so strong that it can drive a person to do insane things or crazy things or unbelievable things. The emotion by its nature, it's almost impossible to bring it to a realization or to an actualization. I know it's a little bit messy what I'm saying here now. But let me explain. Let me repeat it and then let me explain. The emotion by its nature, by its essence, is almost impossible to bring it to a realization or to a actualization. I'll explain. Sometimes there's an outburst of a certain emotion that is bubbling within me. Uh and they will release from the certain individual uh the powers or the urges to whatever the person wants to do. This is what the teachings of Kabbalah explains that the killing, the vessels are too little and it cannot contain the light in it. Example, I can burst in an emotion of of happiness. The happiness is so much, I'm so overly excited and emotional by the situation that happened, I don't know how to contain this happiness. I don't have a vessel to contain this happiness, so um what will happen in most cases, a person will cry. The crying is basically the breaking of the vessels that you can't contain the the the message you heard, the happiness or sadness. But for example, it can be a person loses their temper temper for something that happened and they they're so upset, they break things, curse, they do all sorts of crazy things, they don't know how to contain this anger. There's no vessel for that. That's all the good in the killing of what I'm saying. The emotion is out of control, I don't know how to control it. So the emotion will be represented by the light, the emotion is out of control, I don't have a vessel to contain it. I can't contain the happiness, the anger, the disappointment. One example from what I'm talking about, I told you the story about a certain Rabbi Eliezer ben Durdaya. He's the biggest baal teshuvah in the world. Eliezer ben Durdaya was an individual that had an uncontrollable desire for women. To a point that every time he would lust a woman, he would spend money, go to the other side of the world just to be with this woman. And he would spend all his resources, all his money. He was his urge with women was uncontrollable. And the story says, I'm not going to go through the whole story, but he one time heard about a certain woman and he met her on match.com or what's the Jewish one? I forgot. Huh? I saw you on Sinai. Whatever. He saw her profile on on Facebook or Instagram and she was beautiful and he flew to the other side of the world to pursue her. And the story says that in the middle of the act when they're together, a little bit of air came out of her too hard of her behind. And and she told him, "The same way that that air cannot go back to where it came from, that means the same way you have no chance of ever doing teshuvah, of repenting." And that hit him a home run. She told him, "You are so wicked that you will never be able to do teshuvah, to repent for your actions." So he was so the emotions became so strong and the story is long. He went to the moon, asked for the moon to pray for him, went to the sun, went to the mountains. At the end it says that he put his head between his legs and he cried so much to Hashem that his soul went out of his body and died. And then Rabbi Yehudah Hanasi heard that and said on this case, "Adam koneh olamo berega." A person can buy his entire eternity with one moment of teshuvah. This is a perfect example that the emotion was so strong, the body could not contain the emotion he died. The emotion, I mean, when you get angry, you can get this angry, this angry, this angry, this angry. Right? When you get disappointed of a certain situation, you get upset for 5 minutes and it comes down. Or you're upset for a whole week. Or you're upset for 3 years. Can you not value? Can you put a size to your emotion? Sometimes you get so emotionally upset a person go and kill somebody. A father can hear his daughter was raped, he will go and kill the person. The emotion of anger is so strong, no vessels to to control it, the person will go and kill, steal, do a horrible things. The light is way too big and in this case we're talking about the emotions, the the vessel cannot contain it. That's Esau. Esau had too much of God in him, no vessels to control it. Everything he did was Esau till the end, but he didn't have the right in him, he didn't have the right vessels to control his emotions. That's it. Which that makes him relatable to each and every one of us. Every person can you just need to know which button to press, you'll get the right reaction. Somebody told me not too long ago, I can't I find it hard to imagine how you were how you say you were in yourself 25 years ago that you were, you know, get angry in a second and a half and I can't I can't even fathom you an angry individual. You look so calm. You look such a nice person. I says, "Yeah, well, that's just because you never saw that side." Now, does the Torah eliminate it? No. The Torah just puts control over it. That's it. But nevertheless, every person has the button that if you press, move aside because you're not going to know what's going to happen. And you have it, too. We all have it. Because we all have some connection to Esau. Doesn't matter how much Torah you do. Of course, you refine yourself, you do Torah, you repent, you come closer to Hashem, you diminish all that. At this point I can tell you that if I have to compare myself now for 25 years ago, once I was Esau, the emotions have no control. Now the Torah gives me the tools how to control my emotions. That's it. Why? Cuz I told you before. When you mix sechel, intellect, brain into the emotions, then you know how to balance it. You get upset, but not that upset. You get worried, not that worried. You get happy, you know what to do with it. Esau represents to us an individual that has no control over his emotions. Which is you. And you, and you, and me. The Torah is the source that comes and gives you the tools how to refine yourself. Now comes the big question. If the Torah is the type of individual that we're tagging that has no control over his emotions, what is the Torah telling me that where did it come from? So I'll tell you where it comes from. The teachings of Hasidus explains that Esau comes from the world of Tohu. We are living in this world. Uh this world is known as Olam Hazeh, this world. But this world is also known known as Olam HaTikkun, the world of rectification, the world of fixing. This is the only world you can fix. Take now a cup of glass, smash it on the floor. Can you fix the glass? You can glue it. No, right away discount. You can take piece all the pieces glue it. It won't look so nice. I don't know if it will hold the liquid, but hypothetically you can put things together and fix it. Hypothetically. This is the only world in the universe that we are in. This world like I told you is also called that's where you can fix things. Souls are being placed in this world to do a correction. You did something wrong in a previous life, correct it now. That's the will of God. That's how I educate myself. That's how I educate my kids and whoever is interested. You human, you messed up. Sweep the the pieces, put them together, fix it. That's it. Apologize and do whatever you need to do. A sound is not coming from the world of a sound is coming from the world of before the world this world was created a sham created like a pilot like a model. Now you see the Israeli special forces they're going in behind enemy lines. What do you think they do? They build a model here. With intelligence they go get intelligence how does the building look like and they build the model here and the soldiers practice on the model. 20 times till they know every shaft, every window, every they know the model perfectly. Then they go to the real thing behind enemy lines and they do what they need to do. So how would you call this in this world? A model, pilot, prototype. That's how it goes. It's like a sham created a world that he ran as an experiment before he created this world. Like uh some type of a model. And in the world of Tohu, of course, was what uh I'm sure you heard the concept Kelim, the breaking of the vessels. That's from the world of Tohu. Why? Because the entire concept of the world of Tohu is Kelim, Kelim Kelim. A lot of light, very small vessels. That was the model. The created the world of Tohu with what's called strong lights, Kelim. Why? Because every light, and again, now is not the time to explain what does it mean light. I'm not talking about the light from the light bulb, rather a godly shine. Every light in the world of Tohu was full power. If it would be in this world, the world will not exist. Because in the world of Tohu, it was full power. Full power, full power, all the way. Full volume. So, there wasn't any control. When it was it was it was with no boundaries. When it was no boundaries. So, the lights there were shining full volume, no vessels to contract it. So, all the vessels broke. It's almost like pulling everything now full volume. You're getting into the car, pressing the gas all the way. Within a second, you're on 250 km/h. You run into the cars. So, all the lights in the world of Tohu were shining full power, and there wasn't what's called that one is is combined with the other. It was 100%. It wasn't like 60% 40% full power. There was wasn't merging of the the So, since there wasn't any merging of the lights and the lights were full power, full volume, there wasn't uh uh uh the opportunity or the ability to uh uh minimize something. Therefore, when it comes to emotions, if we're looking at the world of Tohu, there was no way to uh limit the emotions. Nothing was there in limit. So, if there was anger, it was full volume. It was happiness, everything was like full power. Now, when there's an emotion with no uh control, at some point will be an explosion. Can you imagine you are angry and you can't calm yourself down? What's going to happen? Can you imagine if you worry and you can't calm yourself down? You know where you see it? Lo aleinu has v'shalom, a person loses a loved one in a tragedy, they give him tranquilizers. The person can't contain the the the the trauma. They put the person to sleep, take some sleeping pills. Or whatever it is. When the emotion there's no way to to uh control and limit the emotion, can be an explosion. A person if the person has just just emotions, no intellect is involved here, you can't stop that person. If a person is driven only by emotions, it's a problem. And like I said before, that person will never have any satisfaction of everything. If you work only by emotions. So, that was Esau. That was the image that Torah is giving me. Esau was rooted in Olam Hatohu, no restrictions, no vessels, lights out of control, so everything was out of control. And like I told you before, sad reality is now you are starting to recognize that the Esau is a big figure in you. Maybe today is a very uh uh uh special day in your tzuva. It took me a long time to get to that point. It took me I'm talking about 20 plus years ago, but I understood 20 plus years ago that I have a big Asav in me. And once you understand the problem, then you know the cure. If you don't understand the problem, I'm already start telling you that Asav the imagery we're talking about Asav is us. We are the Do you feel you are a Yakov? I look at the mirror, I don't feel I'm a Yakov. Yakov guarded the brit till the age of 84. Till he was 84, not one drop came out of him. The first drop went to his first son. I'm not a Yakov. I'm far away from being a Yakov. I cannot recognize a Yakov in me. I can only recognize in this order an Asav in me. A man that has desires, that has lusts, that has emotions, that has whatever. And I need to control these emotions and desires and lusts and impulses all day long. So, I relate with Asav. And I'm happy to inform you, you are an Asav, too. Much more than a Yakov. You also have to deal with your emotions, with your impulses, with your desires, with your lusts. So, let's make one thing clear. First of all, Asav is a big figure in our lives. A, you can see Asav in yourself. That's one thing we're going to discuss. And then there's the Asav outside, my child, my mother, my father, my friend. It doesn't matter. Here starts the argument between Yitzchak and Rivka. Okay? We're one generation back. Rivka doesn't want to take the blessings from Esau, by the way. Don't get it wrong. It seems that Rivka didn't want Esau to get the blessings. Rivka wanted to make a certain connection between Esau and Yaakov that Esau is dependent on Yaakov. Rivka's not a fool. Esau and Yaakov are in their 60s. She sees this son is this way, this son is that way. She knows one day I'm going to die. This guy, Esau, if he's not going to get the right help, he's going to go straight into gehenna and bring with him half the world. Who can influence him? Who can save him? Only his brother. Rivka wants to make this some type of a dependency between Esau and Yaakov that Esau is dependent on Yaakov. This whole maneuver. She wanted Esau to get the blessings. But not how he would get it if he would go in right now. She wanted Esau to get the blessings only when he's holding the calf of Yaakov, when he's following Yaakov, not when he's following his emotions. How Esau was in that point, he cannot get the blessings. It's almost like giving a crook now a $800 million inheritance. What are you crazy? He's going to snort the money. If I now am a father and I have a whole, I don't know how you call it, yerusha to give to my kids, millions and millions of dollars, properties, businesses, one child is focused on life. And the other one is a sham love. I will give him money. Oh, no. Oh, no. And even after I die, the money will go into some type of custody and you're going to get the money how I think is right for you to get the money. You don't go to an individual like Esau and you throw at him all the blessings. Rivka knew he's going to blow it up. The responsible one is Jacob. Okay, so you have to hold the blessings right now. You have to hold it. You don't get it. You're holding it. Rivka wanted to make a connection a dependency that if wants the blessing, he has to go in the foot foot path How do you say footprints in the foot path in the path of his brother? That's the condition that basically what Rivka is saying. I'm not giving you now the blessing when you are a loose cannon. Esau Rivka wanted Jacob to take responsibility over over Esau. Which of course Jacob says I need to take responsibility of this crook. Yeah, it's your brother. You have to. Now, the father is blind. Isaac is blind. He's old. He can't educate Esau. Obviously. He loves Esau. He doesn't see anything wrong. How is he going to educate him to go on the right path? So, Rivka says your father can't do it. You're going to have to do it. You need to teach your brother Esau how to put the lights in the right vessels. You have to do chuvah You have to help your brother do chuvah. You're going to have to do outreach on your brother. You're brothers and you have to take care of each other. That's the aim of Rivka. Now, very interestingly the last time the Torah is mentioning Rivka is in chapter 28 verse five in the book of Bereshit. And this is in the end of parashat toldot. And interestingly, look what it says. Achiy Rivka em Yaakov ve Esav. That's what the verse says. The brother of Rivka, who was the mother of Yaakov and Esav. Why is the Torah telling me that Rivka is the brother that it's Lavan is the brother of Rivka? Okay. But why is the Torah telling me that Rivka is the mother of Yaakov and Esav? I know you are wondering why it switched. It should have been Esav and Yaakov. But Yaakov bought the firstborn from Esav. So the Torah says, "Okay, Rivka is the mother of Yaakov and Esav." Why do I need to know that? I know she's the mother. Why is the Torah telling me that Rivka is the mother of Yaakov and Esav? I know that. The Torah doesn't give me words for no reason. I might ask, "Why is the Torah telling me this?" You know what Rashi says? Eini yodea ma ba lelamdenu. Rashi, the most common commentator, says, "I don't know what it comes to teach me." Why do I need to Why is the Torah mentioning it the last time it's talking about Rivka that she's the mother of Yaakov and Esav? You didn't know Rivka is the mother of Yaakov and Esav? I ask it to my four-year-old, he will tell you that Rivka is the mother of Yaakov and Esav. Comes a commentary, specifically it's called Chizkuni, and it comes and tells us something straight out about this verse. That Rivka loved Esav exactly like she loved Jacob. Simple and clear. When the Torah comes and tells me, "Oh, Laban, you know he's Rivka's brother." That's where it should end. The Torah shouldn't tell me she's the mother of Jacob and Esau. I know that. Rashi says, "I don't know what it's coming to teach me." The Hizkuni says, "I know what it's coming to teach you. It's coming to teach you that Rivka loves Esau, her son, exactly like she likes likes like she loves her other son Jacob." That's what we need to know. Rivka is not hating Esau. All that she did, all this, was only for the sake of Esau. Simple as that. Rivka didn't see Esau as a wicked individual. She saw him as her son. Just she understands that she has He understood She understood that she he has issues. That's it. She understood that the son that she loves doesn't know how to control his emotions. That's it. So, what does she do? She puts Jacob, his brother, in in charge of him. Common sense. She says, "Jacob, you are walking in the path of your father and your grandfather. That's the right path. You need to give the right example to your brother, who's not going on the right path." Can you imagine that Esau was He was there in the Shabbat meals. He was part of the family. Just that Jacob sat there with peyot and a beard and said divrei Torah, and Esau had a nose ring and earrings in his ears and tattoos, smoking, and he after the Shabbat meal goes out with his girlfriend. That's it. Is that so uncommon? Every second house in the Jewish faith has this Esau in the table. No? So, I might child uh uh goes on a certain path, I won't I don't love him? All right, okay. This child needs more uh attention. This child needs less attention. Yaakov needed attention. Asav needed attention. So, really Rivka is telling Yaakov, you are in charge to bring your brother back to the Torah. Yaakov is getting Rivka's will. And in the will is that you have to be a brother's rabbi. I have sisters and brothers. My sisters are not so in the path of the Torah at all even to if I might say. Now, of course, my parents didn't appoint me, but I have a certain uh level of responsibility. How can they bring back my sisters closer to the Torah? One day Hashem is going to ask me that. Hashem is going to tell me, "What? You You able to bring back to the Torah thousands of people, your sisters you can't? Your mother you can't, your brother you can't. What's your problem?" Now, listen. Not every time you are the right individual to do it. I'm just telling you the situation. To summarize what we need to understand here, let me first tell you a story. Another story with Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev. There was a story that he the situation was very very difficult with the government. The government was going after all the Jews, especially the rabbis, especially a rabbi who would perform circumcision and Talmud Torah learning Torah. So, there was a very difficult situation at the time. And at the time there was a neighbor who lived close to Levi Yitzchok from Berditchev, and she came and told him, "Listen, the situation here is bad. My daughter and her fiance, they're fleeing the city, but they we want you to marry them right before they leave. They want to be married." So, he says, "Okay, that won't be so easy to do. We have been followed. We're not allowed to to do chuppahs. It was illegal." Nevertheless, she's like, "Listen, I really want them to be married before they go off to to the journey. Please make it happen." "Okay." Levi Yitzchok from Berditchev gathers a bunch of men, and there are nine men. They're missing one guy. In the building where they lived, the guy on the first floor was an informer. He was a member of the Communist Party, a Jew, a member of the Communist Party, and he was the one who would report to the Communist Party what's going on. He would look at the people all day long, who's going up to the rabbi, who's going down, and he would inform, an informer, a Jew, to the Communist Party. Of course, it was very common, unfortunately. So, there there are nine people. Levi Yitzchok from Berditchev goes to this guy and tells him, "We need you for a minyan." The guy tells him, "Are you kidding me? You know that I'm a member of the Communist Party. You know that I'm the one who's writing what's going on here." Levi Yitzchok tells him, "Forget about this nonsense right now. You are a Jew, you are a born Jew. Right now, we need you. Write whatever you want. Right now, we need you to perform the wedding. Can you come?" So, they schlep him up. They do the wedding, they do the whole thing, and they send the couple off, and Levi Yitzchok turns to this guy and says, "Okay, done. You can do whatever you want." So, the guy says, "It's fine. Not only that, um um um I'm not going to write anything. After what I saw here, I um I'm leaving the Communist Party. I'm I don't want to do this anymore. I'm I'm back in our team." The answer that Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev gave him is, "There's no question if the Jew is kosher. The question is how much you are willing to dig." Each and every one of us has to deal with some Asav. If the Asav is you, then you have to understand that you need to put yourself under some type of leash. That's why I started the beginning by saying a person that is in that level, that doesn't understand that not all your desires can be fulfilled, if you don't understand that you you are miserable, a miserable individual. I understood 22 years ago when my rabbi broke the news to me and he told me, "Get used to it. Not all your desires you can and will fulfill. Forget about the attitude that whatever you want, I'm going to go after." Cuz that's how I was and that's how was how most people are. You hungry, you go and look for food. You desire the other gender, hopefully it's the other gender and not the same, then you go and pursue that. When you want something, when you desire something, you go and get it. Some people are very hungry to fulfill their desires and they will trash everything in their way, step on everything, steal from their loved ones, cheat to the just to get their fix. A person who lives like that is a miserable person cuz he will never be satisfied. When my Rabbi broke the news to me 22 years ago, he told me, "Many of your desires you will never fulfill. You shouldn't even go to pursue them." I'm not telling you not to desire. That I can't tell you. I'm telling you you put yourself on a leash. And once you understand that a large amount of your desires and your lusts and your impulses and your emotions have to be boxed down, the day you understand that's that's the day you can release yourself from whatever bondage you're in. That's when you become a free individual. When you understand that not everything that you want you'll ever get or you can get. That was a big turning point for me in my chuvah. The day I understood that from the list of my desires, many of them I will have to go like this. Out. Out. Out. Out. Never Don't even think of pursuing it. That requires a very strong individual. That's the Yakov in you that knows how to put the light in the right clee, in the right vessel. I was once a a bulb anger. Somebody would say to me the wrong word, all hell will be loose. To a point that I did horrible things to people because I couldn't control this emotion. The emotion is still there. The lion is not dead. The lion is just sleeping. Just don't press that button. The work that I have to do is to empower the Yakov in me to make sure that the Esau is under control. That when the anger arouses, right away there's the clee, the vessel to put that anger in. Calm down the anger. Can do you want. Can just punch a person in his face or whatever you want. That's what I'm saying. For me it was a huge turning point, the day I understood that there's a long list of desires and lusts and impulses and emotions that will have to be boxed in or put under a leash or under some control. That's the message for you if you are the Esau. If you recognize from this class that you are an Esau, and you are an Esau by the way. Don't don't kid yourself. The day you understand that you are this Esau, then you need to figure out and the Torah will give you all the tools, how do you put these big lights into vessels that the vessels won't break. And the code here is what I told you in the beginning, you need to understand that not all your desires or your lusts or your emotions will ever be fulfilled. Know how to push it aside. It will never happen. 30 years ago, I'm giving you an example on myself. 30 years ago I would see a beautiful woman and I would desire her. I will come up with whatever I need to to go and pursue this woman. I will not take no for an answer until the no will be no and okay, and let's move to the next one. The desire might be still there, but right away will come a sign saying you can't desire this woman. She's not your wife. Next. You move this desire far away. That's it. That's when you live a healthy life, that you know this I will never get. Move it aside. Let me focus on what I can get. That's the minimum advice I can give you when you recognize that the Esau is in you. And for that you can dedicate another five classes. But what do you do when you recognize the Esau in a person you love? Your brother, your child, your parent, your spouse, doesn't matter. You were You were surrounded with Asavs. You see the truth. You follow the Torah. You know it's the truth. It's good for you. It changed you. It refined you. You are a completely different person. Now, next. Now you have a person around you that is an Asav. And I don't think there's one person in this world that can raise their hand and says, "I don't have any Asavs around me." "All my kids are rabbis in the yeshivot. We're all chief rabbis of cities. I mean, I mean, maybe there's a few that can say, "Listen, baruch Hashem, By the way, even in that family, there's a lot of loose ends, by the way. Rabbi David is my rabbi. Trust me, in that family, there's also a lot of kookoos. A lot of the families just know how to hide the the kookoos. But the sad reality, to be fair, 95% in the world can easily say, "I have an Asav in my Shabbat table. My child that doesn't see eye to eye with me, that doesn't see that the Torah is the truth, that thinks that this is fine and this is fine and this is okay, that is okay." And Hashem yerachem, sometimes people tell me what they're dealing with a family and friends and The fact is that each and every one of us has an Asav in our life. We have to understand, A, that if that person is in your life, then you have to take some type responsibility. How to do it? That's a whole different class. The title of it is exactly what Rivka did. Rivka says, "You can't get the blessings right now, Asav. You are way too wild right now. You need to calm down. The way to calm down is with your brother and that's why Jacob is apologizing to Esau. Because Rivka told Jacob to do it immediately. And Jacob was too busy to go and build the house of Israel, which that takes time and dealing with Laban. But that's why Jacob is apologizing to Esau by saying by Harad Atah, 34 years I didn't come to you with the message. Obviously, and again, that's not the solution. Obviously, when we're asking why is Jacob, excuse my language, kissing tuchus to Esau? Obviously, he found that that would be the way to come closer to his brother, to rebuild the relationship that he can pull him back in the Torah. Because we learn in the Torah that after Jacob did everything that he did, then him and Esau hugged. And it was a real hug. Okay, there's a lot of explanations here with the eight times that he calls him my master and the seven times that he bowed. I explained that in one of the classes a few I think last year last few years. Either with Ben Ish Hai or Rabbeinu Bachya. I'm not going to repeat it. Go look on the internet for that class where I explained and the numerical value of all the bowing. Jacob did some Kabbalistic thing here to nullify uh this clipa in Esau. But we're not Kabbalists. We're let's see what the text says. Jacob apologized for not being there for his brother for the last 4 34 years and after he broke that barrier, then Esau hugs him. And they're they're they're friends. They're back to being friends. One might take that you need to hug your Esau. You need to I know it might sound the wrong way and I apologize for using it this term, you might need to kiss the tuchus of your Asav. Not the Asav in you, the Asav in your life. Sometimes you need to sweeten things around. You need to cushion a little bit. You need to show a lot of mercy and a lot of love and a lot of I apologize and I'm sorry just to be able to bring the Asav close to me. That I can slowly, slowly help, guide and influence. So really, Rivka is not a horrible mother what most people think that she wanted to kick Asav out of the door. On the contrary, she saw that Asav, we'll call him now special needs. She saw that Yakov is the one that can do it. And she came and gave him the responsibility. She says, "You go in and get the blessings and you hold it for your brother till cuz your father's going to die soon. And when he's worthy of it, you're going to give him the blessings. You hold it for him. And you teach him what he needs to do." Saying in other words that we have to take responsibility of our brothers and sisters. And it doesn't matter if it comes in the form of a brother, a form of a stranger or my family member. The approach that Yakov chooses is to hug Asav. And to kiss and to kiss tuchus. And you're great and you're amazing. And you know what? In many of the cases, yeah, you want to bring somebody close to you, you can't tell them, "Oh, you are a liar. You are a thief. You are an embarrassment to this family. Hashem won't look at you." And that's not how you're going to pull somebody close to you. By telling the person, "You know what? You're amazing. You have amazing skills. You have You're so thoughtful. You" That's what Yakov did. He empowered all the good in Asav to tell him, "You're also special. You're also good. You can also do teshuvah." The message here is very, very powerful. That whether it's me that is the Esau, that's one thing. That in itself, simple as as I told you, blow up half of the desires, lusts, dreams, just push it away. I'll never have it. I can't have it. I shouldn't even want to have it. But I'm more looking at the option that we have an Esau amongst us. Can be your brother, can be your child, can be your best friend. How do you deal with the Esau? We have responsibility to take care of our brother, and that's where Hashem says you have responsibility. You need to figure out how to do it. So, the message that we're getting here from Rivka is very, very powerful. If we go by what the Reb Levi Yitzchak of Berditchev answered this person, it's not if you are kosher, it's how much you're willing to give. How much are you willing to do to bring that individual closer? So, the command was of Rivka's. Rivka commanded Yaakov to do, to take care of his brother. The mission was placed on Yaakov. And we are the ones who need to continue it.