Parashat Vayeshev - The secret to success and the formula for failure - Rabbi Alon Anava

If I would ask you, what do you attribute the What do you attribute to the success in your life? You do something, it's successful. What do you think is the cause for the success? The hand of Hashem that intervened and allowed it to be successful? Or your hard work, maybe? Or a your mazel, your fate, your destiny? I mean, what what is the cause for your success? How do you measure it and what do you attribute to success, too? Now, I know each person will raise a a hand to a different answer, although the answer is all the above. It's your mazel, it's your fate, it's your hishtadlus, your your effort, it's Hashem's desire. One of the components is missing, it's not going to happen. Yeah, and ultimately, we can say it's because of Hashem. You need to give the success to Hashem, but everything else is depending on that, too. So, now I'll ask you a different question. What would you attribute to your failure? You tried to do something and you failed. Do you attribute it again only to Hashem? No, uh that's Hashem's will. I I have nothing to do with it. Or you take blame on yourself. I should have done more. I could have prayed for it. I could have done much more efforts. Oh, it's that person's fault. Unfortunately, most of us in our life, if we take 100% of our challenges or efforts or situations, most of the times we fail. Right? We have success one out of, but the majority of the time we fail. So, the question comes right now. Do you attribute it to yourself? You take responsibility or you say, "No, Hashem just wants me to go through all these challenges." The sad reality is that most people, they start tasks and they don't know how to finish it. That's one of the main reasons for people to fail in life cuz they don't know how to finish tasks. A task was given to them or they chose to take a task and they just don't follow through. And then they fail. Believe it or not, I just thought about it today. Rosh Hashanah was 2 and 1/2 months ago. 2 and 1/2 months ago just went like that, blink of an eye. And why am I thinking of Rosh Hashanah? Rosh Hashanah, you take on yourself all the decisions that you can just think of. This year, I'm going to pray in the minyan. This year, I'm going to learn Torah. This year, I'm going to do this and that. 2 and 1/2 months passed. Hanukkah is next week. How much from your plan you actually did? 1%? 2%? 4%? 20%? A question that I will ask you personally is doesn't it bother you? Doesn't it bother you that you want to be successful in certain things and there's no success there? Business, dating, educating yourself, educating your kids, relocating, job opportunity. Today, we're going to talk about the not only the cause, but also the solution to all the questions that I just asked. This week, we are going to read in the parashah Vayeishev uh of one of the we'll call it now the tragic people or uh figures in the book of Bereishit. In the book of Bereishit, we're introduced to so many different people, different generations, different missions in life, much more than any other book. And the fourth Adam Harishon and Noach, Avraham Avinu. Now, we are already by already the kids of Yaakov. We're introduced already to all the kids. And now we're in the middle of the drama. This is the peak of the of the series right now. And there's a lot of individuals that we meet. Some of them are the stars. Yaakov, Rivka, Leah. But here and there, we hear about small stars. The star of this week's parashah, which I choose to say a tragic story, is the now nobody other the firstborn of Yaakov is the story of Reuben. We're now introduced to 12 kids of Yaakov and we don't know much about most of them. We know a lot about Yosef. Cuz he takes the the role of the king and we we're we're acquainted with him. We learn about Yehudah. We learn about Reuben. We don't learn anything about Gad. You know anything about Gad? You know anything about Asher? Naftali? So, there's a few that we know of and the top, the bechor, the firstborn, the one who was supposed to lead the entire family, Reuben, Reuben. Something shifts in the middle in the story with Reuben that actually, if you pay attention, can give you a message to your life that that I can tell you you apply it, it will change your life. Reuben is born. He's the firstborn and you have to understand he's the first boy of Yaakov. Yaakov had a shleimah. He never been with a woman or not even one drop came out of him till the age of 84 that he was the first time with Leah. 84, 86, maybe I'm getting it wrong. 84? 86, I think. The point is Reuben is reshit oni, the first of my might. Who he was supposed to be the bechor, the firstborn, leading the entire family. When he was born, Leah says, "Reuben!" "See a son! He's going to be the the leader of the tribes." The commentary says something even interesting that when Leah picked him up and says, "Reuben, see a son," which is his name, Reuben, she meant to say, "Look at my firstborn and look at the our the father the the firstborn." He Esau would came with the firstborn or Ishmael. My firstborn is like the the cream of the crop. And uh the Torah is presenting Reuben as a very very caring individual, very devoted, very good-hearted. I mean, we see a potential leader. So, right from the beginning, you're saying, "Okay, he's the bechor, he's the first boy. He will be the leader of all the tribes. He will be the number one." But nevertheless, something changes along the way and the story takes a complete turn. What's interesting is that the image that the Torah is trying to give me about Reuben is a very positive individual. Like I told you, very caring, devoted to his mom. He he overpowers his midos. He's he's not as jealous of his young brother. Can you imagine? Reuben, the the the firstborn and then Yosef is like the star. Reuben didn't show any jealousy towards Yosef. Nafech, on the contrary. He was a mensch. He overpowered his the fact that he didn't even have jealousy and he didn't make room for Yosef. Even on the contrary, you read the story to to its details. Reuben tried to to save Yosef, not to kill him. Shimon and Levi that suggested to kill him. Reuben was like, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not going to kill our brother." So, on the first glance, we have the new coming leader of the of the tribe of the family, promising a future. And then something weird happens and he does he performs like half a job and then disappears. You know, half a job, what I mean is in Hebrew, there's a term you have to be Israeli to to relate with it. In Hebrew, when a job is not done right, you say, "How did he do the job?" You say in Hebrew, "Chetzi clutch." You know, the clutch in the car and this is older cars. Uh now, you tell a kid clutch, they're like, "What?" But when we drove cars, they had a clutch. Now, if you put the clutch all the way, then the gear will go smooth. You put it halfway, so when the job is not done right, in Hebrew, we have a slang, half clutch. The job was almost done. The So, we start with a good promising future and suddenly, Reuben does like half of a effort and disappears. Completely disappears. What's going on here? That, of course, I'm talking about the selling of Yosef by his brothers. And the second when First of all, when they captured him, they wanted to kill him. Reuben was the first one who says, "No, no, no, no, no, we have to save him. We're going to kill our own brother." You know? So, he decides, "Instead of killing him, let's just throw him into a pit. Because in the pit he won't be able to survive there. So at least let him die from hunger, let him die from I don't know what, but at least we didn't kill him. So he already goes through the out out his way to convince all the rest of the brothers not to kill him. They throw him into the pit and then Reuben like disappears. Literally disappears. Vanishes. And then what happens? Reuben is not there. So the brothers go back to the pit, pull to pull him out and they sell him. So really what will happen here to Reuben? Reuben starts and again sometimes I notice many people when they learn the parashah they just read the text. But you know already the text. You read that text already 20 times. Now it's time to read it very very slow because the Torah is limiting with words but telling you a lot of information. So to summarize the point of Reuben, yeah, the Torah is presenting to us the firstborn a very positive how would you call it? An image not an image one of the characters a very positive character. And then he does something very noble. He goes and he tells the brothers no no no we can't kill our brother. What are you crazy? Reuben you already started then you just disappear to a point that you weren't even there. Reuben wasn't there when they sold yourself. So what happened to Reuben? Why'd you leave? I don't understand that. You were almost saving how you leave your brother in the in the pit? Is something wrong with you? How is the Torah what I don't understand? How is the Torah presenting to me a very kind caring devoted individual? When it comes to saving his own brother, he he he shows his his his approaches we have to save him. So you do half latch. You you you save them from the first time they wanted to kill him and then you disappear. You don't follow through with with what you started. Where'd you go? Something doesn't make sense here. How do you how would you leave your brother in a pit knowing that the other brothers want to kill him and even more than that? You you you listening to yourself. Let's throw him into the pit let him die by himself that we won't kill him. What you throwing him into the pit doesn't hold you accountable? If he dies a week later from starvation or for an animal, you threw him into the pit. Something doesn't make sense in the story and when something doesn't make sense in the story, that's when you need to pause and now you need to start looking what's going on here. I've noticed with many many people and I'm going to cut the intro about that. We did that before. I notice in many many people that they don't fulfill the tasks and the missions that they need to do. And the result of course will be disappointment, sadness, anger, many other characters. And why am I saying that without the intro? Because I see sometimes people come to me for consultation or to ask a question or to talk and I reverse engineer what they're saying and I see yeah the failure. You failed in what you wanted to do because you didn't put out any effort. You didn't do anything. What do you think is going to come from the heavens without any effort here? The reason why most people fail is because they don't know how to complete tasks. The reason why most people don't know how to complete tasks, that's the question that needs to be asked. And not only complete tasks, sometimes you put yourself a goal. And within the next 3 months I have to do A, B and C. Uh next year I'm going to quit this, do that, start here. Same idea. When I'm saying task, responsibility, goals, it's all the same same idea. What is the reason that people can't finish their the tasks they started or they don't can't fulfill their their own wish? Oh, by the next 30 days I'm going to do this but it's your it was your decision. Big question that we're going to address today but in order to understand that let's all see also see the rest of the the family. On one side we have Reuben that again the Torah is presenting to us and I'm repeating myself till it will be as a very positive individual that seemingly is going to be the leader of the entire tribes. He's the firstborn and the Torah gives a lot of importance to the bechor. On the other side of Reuben stand other another two brothers that are kind of the complete opposite of him. Wherever Reuben fails, they succeed. And of course I'm talking about Joseph and Yehudah who took control. I mean after all knowing the Torah you would think that the firstborn will be number one. We look at we see it with the kids of Aaron the Cohen. Eleazar who was the firstborn, he was kind of the leader. He was the first one. He was the the next after to get anointed and and in many of the cases we see the firstborn is the one who goes forward. Here we see Yehudah and Joseph who kind of pushed Reuben to the side, took all the power to themselves and they're running forward with their with their tasks. The difference between Yehudah and Joseph and Reuben that Yehudah and Joseph the Torah makes sure to for me to understand that they know how to finish the job. The job they started, they finish it. Both of them know how to take responsibility. And that's something that obviously Reuben didn't know how to do. And now we also want to know what's the secret of these two giants Yehudah and Joseph. I mean A they're not the firstborn. Joseph is almost the last. And they come and take the show. And they're dominating. And one might ask okay now we're talking about Reuben but they passed all the rest. Must be that they both have some type of quality. Both Yehudah and both Joseph that have some type of quality, some type of secret. The simple and quick fast answer to what is the secret of these gedolim and I'm referring now to Yehudah and Joseph is that they show the Torah teaches us and show us that they believe that they are emissaries of the master of the universe. That they're a shaliach of the Kadosh Baruch Hu. And you see how a person conducts their life. Yehudah and Joseph both show us a very strong quality that they believe they know that wherever they go they're representing God. They're an emissary a shaliach of God. God the divine providence call it however you want. What does it mean to say it in our words? If I'm here here means in my situation right now what I'm dealing with then I have the now I have the tools, the ability, the energy and the power to not only to do what I need to do but also to be successful. That's when you believe 100% that you represent Hashem in any situation. So right now in any situation in your life you in a business transaction, positive or negative it's irrelevant right now. You meet people, you interact with people, you deal with your challenges. Doesn't matter what happens to you. Every person finds themselves in many different situations on a daily base. Now I have to deal with this individual, now I have to deal with that person. Most of your arguments you don't even start. Most of the arguments you're in people will come and attack you, blame you, bother you and you just need to somehow get out of it. Every situation I'm just trying to give all the options. When you understand and you believe that you have some type of mission that God placed you there then A you already have 50% of your victory because you know you're doing it for Hashem. And B then you understand that if Hashem put me in this problem, he also gives me all the answers to my exposure or to my to to my fingertips to handle the situation as bad as it is. That's the difference between what the Torah is presenting about Joseph and Yehudah and Reuben. This is a very important thing before we continue to understand that when Hashem puts you in a situation, that's where Hashem wants you. If where you are now going through whatever, you're being evicted, you're being you're going through a divorce, you're being sued, whatever it is, positive, negative, any encounter, you have to understand Hashem put me in this situation right now for me to do something. Obviously I need to do something. So let's start to analyze the story to understand how is that relating with us. The beginning of the story, the beginning of Reuben, very positive beginning. Reuben everything starts all glamorous and positive and he's a very kind boy. The Torah emphasizes how he helps his mother, he cares about his mother, he's devoted to his mother. So the Torah starts with a few stories about Reuben and like I told you the other tribes we don't know nothing about them. Reuben if the Torah already decided to give us some type of background, something is there. So, the first story is that the Torah says he's a good he's a good boy. Right? How he's born and so forth. Then we go into the other story. The next story that Torah is talking about is when he found these flowers in the field, dudeim, and he brings it back to his mother. Now, the what what what's so what's important about this uh story that Leah had four kids and then she stopped from stopped having kids. This flower or fruit that Reuben found, dudeim, apparently helps a woman get pregnant. It's good for the productivity and and and just fertility, exactly. So, he wanted his mother to have more kids. He took the flowers, these berries, whatever it is, instead of taking it to himself, if you go now, let me take now a 7-year-old, a 9-year-old, whatever, and you give them a basket of chocolates and you tell them, "Here, give it to your mom." Half the chocolates won't be there when the child gets to by by the time the child gets to the mom. And even if it's not chocolates, good berries or whatever, grapes, you give a little child a basket of something and says, "Give it to your mom." By the time he arrives, half the basket is not there. The Torah is representing how Reuben diligently took the these these dudeim, gave it to the mother. So, the Torah is like telling us, you know, very special individual. Okay, now we're introduced to a third story. Rachel dies. Another story that shows his compassion, his caring. Rachel dies and he was afraid that because Rachel died, Jacob is going to move into the tent of Bilhah because Jacob lived with Rachel most of the years Jacob was in the tent of Rachel. And Reuben was afraid that whenever Rachel died, that now Jacob is going to move to Bilhah. Now, Bilhah was the maidservant of Rachel and that won't look so good that the head the father is with the maidservant of the younger sister. Uh Reuben so cared about the honor and the respect of his mother that he went into the tent, dragged out Jacob's bed, and put Jacob's bed in Leah's tent. Saying, "No, no, you're sleeping with the with my mother." So, the Torah is showing to us that Reuben cares uh he's devoted to his mom and so forth. Then the fourth story that the Torah is telling us is that you know the story, I'm not going to elaborate. The the brothers hate Joseph. They don't like him. They're jealous of him. They're waiting for the moment and the moment comes and they come to kill him. And it was Shimon and Levi who already took out their swords, "Let's kill him. We don't need him. He's a he's a problem for us." Reuben steps in and says, "Are you out of your mind? This is our brother. We I I I understand, but we can't kill him." The problem with the the brothers and Joseph, he was threatening them. Now, not directly, but they felt very threatened by Joseph, by his prophecies, by his dreams. They gave him the the the the qualification of what's called Din Rodef. Din Rodef, Rodef is when somebody comes to kill you. And the Torah says somebody comes to kill you, you're you're allowed to kill him. If Hashem Yishmor, like, you know, now, you know, not now, a few years ago when was the time with Corona and many disagreements between different groups about the vaccine, not the vaccine, whatever. So, in many places, the ones who I I have to be very careful now I talk, YouTube is taking videos, I just upchucked the wrong way, they take the video off. But nevertheless, the ones who were very pro, let's call it that, many but they didn't gave them the the the the standard of a Rodef. You're coming to kill me. And if you're coming to kill me, I'm allowed to kill you. So, the brothers, they applied on Joseph the Din Rodef. He's coming to kill He's a threat to us. So, therefore, we need to kill him. They really saw him as a threat. And of course, you know the story, Joseph comes to the field, Shimon and Levi, they step forward, they want to kill him, and then Reuben steps forward with great courage. And he's, "No, no, no, no, no, what we done? No, no, no, no, we're not going to kill him. We're going to throw him into the pit." Later on, uh uh Judah suggests, "No, let's sell him." Rashi explains that when Reuben suggested they put Joseph in the pit, it's to buy time. He says, "I'm going to buy time, they'll relax, maybe they'll change their mind, and then I'll go and take him out of the pit." That's the question is, where are you? If that was your intention and you're such an amazing man, how do you leave the child in the pit? You see the situation, something doesn't make sense here. Later on, of course, Judah steps forward and says, "Okay, you don't want to sell kill him. Let's at least get something out of this. Let's sell him. We'll make some money." And Judah suggests to sell him and really Judah is the one who saves Joseph's life. Because if Judah wouldn't suggest to sell him, he would have let die in the pit. So, really, Judah is the one who stepped forward and saves Joseph's life. Who says, "No, no, no, we're not going to kill him." Whether you did you Judah did it in a prophetic way seeing what that he needs to save life, it doesn't matter. Judah is the one who stepped in and says, "No, we're not killing him, we're going to sell him." And eventually, it really saves his life. Now, the question is, what what's with the plan of Reuben? You had such a good genius plan. You stopped Shimon and Levi from killing the brother. You said, "I'm going to let's put him in the pit so you can buy some time." If that was your plan, Reuben, right? And Rashi says, "Yeah, his plan was that it would be temporary and he goes back to the pit and takes him out and brings him back to his father." That was Reuben's plan. And it's all written in the Torah clearly. It's not that we're now digging in some commentary. Now, if this is your plan, Mr. Reuben, why weren't you there when they sold him? The Torah says clearly Reuben was not there. Do you understand what you have to stop here for the question? Reuben is being presented by the Torah as a great individual. He's the firstborn. He is the Now, all eyes are on Reuben. He saves Joseph for the first time. His plan is to take him out of the pit a few hours later or whatever, and then it disappears. So, what was going on with your plan, Reuben? What was so important? When Reuben came back to the pit and found an empty pit, the Torah says Vayitzak tzaka gdola. He had a like like a big scream. So, Rashi questions this big scream. Why are you so shocked? Where Why weren't you next to the pit? How did it get to a point even they did they could sell him and you were not there? Reuben, where are you? Okay, so Rashi says there were two reasons why Reuben weren't there. First reason, he says that it was his day to Leshammesh et aviv, to serve to the father. 11 kids, every day one of the kids has to come or every day or maybe every 3 days or once a week, I don't know, the order. But obviously, everyone took in his turn to go and and be next to the father. Leshammesh means to be an assistant. Bring me this, bring me that. After all, Jacob is an old man. He's not a young man. Maybe he needs help. Give me my food, give me my clothes, take me to shul. Rashi says happened to be that that day was Reuben's turn. Okay, example one number one that Rashi says, "Oh, yeah, yeah, Reuben weren't at the time of the transaction of the selling. Yeah, he had to go help the father." That's reason number one. Reason number two, and Rashi says it's one of the other. That Shimon was so Reuben was so upset by the fact that he upsetted his father with the whole story with the bed that I just told you now with Leah, and he did he didn't honor his father that he was so upset that he went to do teshuvah and be busy now with doing teshuvah and repenting for this situation that he hurt his father. Now, that's when you do it? Now you decide suddenly on such an important day that you need to save your brother you started. So, either he went to serve his father, example number one, answer number one, what he couldn't ask God to Asher and Naphtali to replace him? Listen, can you take over my shift today? And if father asks, just tell him I was busy, I had to take care of something. He couldn't ask 11 brothers. He can't ask one of the brothers to switch him. That's for excuse number one. Excuse number two, he went to do chuva, to repent for hurting his father by dragging the bed out of the tent. And now? Wait for Yom Kippur? Wait for Rosh Chodesh? Save your brother and then do chuva? What kind of an answer is that? These are answers that A don't make sense. And then when something doesn't make sense, that's when you need to ask some questions. Again, I I I hope you you understand where I'm focusing on. Because again, when you read the story, Shimon, Levi, Yehuda, you don't pay attention. But something's odd going on here. That Reuben is the first one who jumps in but then disappears. There is a commentary, it's called Zohar HaMor. He says that uh because Rashi says that he ripped his clothes, Reuben. So means he was mourning, he did chuva. Uh the different commentary says, "No, he actually uh ripped his clothes and did chuva for the mistake with Yosef." I'm just saying that as an addition. But let's go back to our question. There's a situation going on here. 11 brothers, or to be exact, 10 brothers want to kill one brother. You intervene, you stop them. You you take away their intention to kill them. You decide, "Let's put him in a pit." You have a bold idea that you're going to come later and take him out cuz you wanted to deliver him to his father. Shimon knew that the blame is going to go on him. Hey, Reuben. Because he's the firstborn. He's the firstborn, you were supposed to take responsibility. It's interesting that that's how the Torah presented because I see it with with my kids. When I send off my kids somewhere, and let's say they go to the park, they go whatever, I put all the responsibility on the on the most on the oldest one. You're the oldest. Something happens, one of the killed kids trip or fall or something. You're responsible, you're the oldest. Same thing here. Reuben was like, "I'm going to get in trouble. All the responsibility is going to fall on me." So he says, "Okay, I'll go and steal save my brother." And now comes the million-dollar question. What What causes you to leave the scene? I I don't understand it. You were successful, Yosef is in the pit. Why are you leaving? Wait there. The Midrash says that clearly that Reuben tried to save Yosef. And if Reuben, that's the Midrash saying, if Reuben would know that in this particular situation he is representing God, he is the emissary, the shaliach of God of this situation, he would understand that he has all the power and the abilities to save Yosef. That's what the Midrash says. Saying in other words, something in Reuben, he didn't believe he didn't see what's going on there. Reuben didn't have It's not that he didn't have courage. Obviously he had the courage to initiate the the stopping of the killing. It's not that he wasn't caring enough. Obviously he cared. He cared about the father being sad, he cared about Yosef. So he wasn't lacking caring, he wasn't lacking love, he wasn't lacking bravery or guts. I'll tell you what he was lacking. He didn't have emunah. Reuben didn't have emunah that he is the chosen one in this situation, the responsibility was given to him to save the brother. And he didn't have the belief, the emunah, that he is not acting on his own. He's not He's not acting on his behalf. God placed him, "You save your brother." And Reuben didn't have the understanding or the belief that God appointed him to save the day. He didn't understand that what he's doing is for Hashem, not for his own sake. Cuz Reuben, why would Reuben want to save Yosef? Cuz he said, "The blame is going to go on me." Uh that's your motive to save your brother? You're really saving yourself. You want to save your own skin. That was Reuben's problem. What Reuben didn't understand that he was appointed to bring the solution. He didn't understand that this situation, imagine the scene that's going on. Something caused Reuben not to understand that Hashem placed him in charge of the situation. Now Hashem is looking at you. This is your prime time. Mr. Reuben. And more than that, Reuben didn't even believe that he has the ability to save Yosef. He was like, "The brothers are too strong, they're too they're too united against me. It's not going to work." Why did he fail? Why did he come to all these thoughts of the brothers are stronger, they're more united, I'm not going to make it? Only, and that's what the Midrash says, cuz he didn't understand or I will choose to say believe that he was appointed by God in this situation to be the savior. He said, "If I'm doing something here, it's I'm doing it, it's my benefit." And he missed that little thin line that no, Reuben, you were appointed by God to be responsible here, and therefore he also gives you all the ability to do it. And that's where you failed miserably. That's the problem of Reuben. I have to tell you a story which I shared many times, I'll tell you the short version. It will emphasize what I'm trying to say. Going back at least 12, 13 years from now, could be even much more, I don't remember exactly. One day, out of the blue, I get a phone call from a man with a very heavy Texan Southern American accent. And he starts talking to me, and to be very brief with the story cuz the story is long. He tells me that his father died, and that they went on they they they didn't even know the father's Jewish. And they went on his Facebook, all the Facebook was my videos. And when they went through his stuff, they found a note that he's asking them to call me cuz he wants to he's Jewish and he wants to be buried like a Jew. And this guy is calling me. And the man was in his 80s, so the son was probably in the 50s. And he's telling me, "We didn't even know the father's Jewish. My mother's Catholic, we're all Catholic. I mean, we didn't even know he's Jewish. Now we saw whatever paper he left that he was born a Jew. It doesn't matter all the details. And and he lived his life like a complete non-Jew." Kids are non-Jewish, the wife is non-Jewish. Now Now he dies and he leaves some type of a will that he wants to be buried like a Jew. The kids are saying, "Oh, no, no, no. No, no, we're going to burn his body. Half the ashes will bury next to his wife in California where they lived, and the rest we're going to bring it back to Texas to bury it where we want to." Anyways, you can already imagine to what I was pulled in. And now I'm introduced to a situation in the middle of my life, in the middle of my busy schedule. There's a dead body of an old Jewish man sitting somewhere like 140 miles out of San Francisco in some loony town in California. And the guy needs to be buried within hours. I don't know anyone, I'm from New York. What do you What do you want me to do? And needless to say, it took hours. I had to start calling you know, whoever. First of all, I had to find the closest rabbi to him, which where do you go? You go to Chabad. Who in the middle of nowhere? Who Where are you going to find somebody? So I found the closest Chabad rabbi who was, I don't know, like 80 miles from there. To make a very, very long story short, uh the man grew up lived his life as a gentile. Before he died, he unfortunately got cancer. And he knew he's going to die, and he went on the internet and he wrote, "Is there life after death?" Somehow found my video, and started looking to his Jewish routes. And this Chabad rabbi that I I I found was also Listen, it wasn't easy. It took hours. It's not It wasn't only the Chabad rabbi there. Is to find First of all, it was before it was Thursday night. So we had to find who will do the purity, the taharah, the closest, which was I think in Sacramento. So it's moving the the logistics here. And everything costs a lot of money. I don't even know who the man is. Some guy calls me out of the blue. Really? Why am I telling you this story? Because constantly in the back of my mind is like, "What does that got to do with me?" I had to leave everything that I did. Phone calls, like three phones at the same time. Because this guy and I never even met. I don't even know anything about him. The body is thrown somewhere and if we don't going to get to the body, it's going to be burnt. Later on, the Chabad rabbi told me, "You're not going to believe. One day, this man walks into my shul and you know, Chabad in the middle of nowhere, they have like a minyan and plus one. And in my half of the cases, they don't even have a minyan. I've been to some Chabad places in the middle of in the middle of nowhere. They don't always have a minyan and the shul is like very Everything is small. So, he tell me how one time this old guy walks in and of course Chabad rabbi walks to him, 'Are you Jewish?' Whatever it is. First question, "Did you put tefillin on today?" The guy tells him, "I I didn't put ever tefillin even in my life. Never put tefillin in my life." They made him a bar mitzvah. He was 86 or 84. They made him that day a bar mitzvah. He went up to the Torah. Anyways. And then he used to come a few times and then he disappeared. That's what the rabbi told me. And then he made all the connections, the Chabad rabbi. Oh, that must be him. Anyways, we made all the connections and Baruch Hashem, we were able to cost a lot of money. We're able to somehow get to the body. First of all, to convince the children not to burn him. And of course, you know, burning is very cheap. Burying is expensive. To make a long story short, it was intense 18 hours because it was before Shabbat. But somehow we pulled it through. With people I don't know and all the rabbis that I was in touch with, nobody I don't know them. They don't know me. It was like a a headache out of nowhere. But the whole time there was this question in my mind, "Why am I have to Why do I have to deal with it right now? It has nothing to do with me." But I understood clearly at that time, if I was the one who got the phone call, it came to me. That old man could have gone to any other of the internet rabbis to get his Torah to be inspired. I'm the only rabbi on the internet. He could have called any other rabbi. The phone call came to me. I was the one who was obviously appointed by God for this task. There's no place here even to ask, "Why me?" Because the phone called you. You're the one right now who obviously was appointed by the master of the universe to do this task. Whether it's considered a mitzvah for me, doesn't matter right now. Right now is expected from me by Hashem to do this. That's it. That's what I understood. Because listen, I'm not telling you the whole story. The story I think I even have a class on it on one of the lectures. The story was long because there was a lot of trouble on the way. How do you get to the body? How do you get the money? It was a lot of money. Then start arguing that first I was talking with one of the children and the rest of the sons came online and they didn't want to No, we don't believe. We don't It Listen, it was intense hours and phone calls and I understood that if I got the call, it came to me. And right now, Hashem is has a lot of expectations. Can you imagine me there saying, "Listen, I'm busy man. You know, like go somewhere else." When you understand that you are the hands of Hashem in this world, that you when you are in a specific place in your life, geographically you're in a place that you wouldn't even think you would be here. I mean, most people have kind of a normal life. But my feeling is that you and the ones who listen, the life was pretty You mean, you're born in one location, you live in a different location, then you end up in one location. I'm Well, I'm not so young anymore. I lived in so many different places in the world. Half my life I didn't even I was born in Israel. I lived all over the world. And make a U-turn and ended up back here. Hashem puts you in different places, in different situations, with different challenges, with different tasks you need to do. And when you understand that you are Hashem's hands down here and that's why you're in a specific place, then you're on the road to success. So, why am I telling you this story with the guy the old man kind of It's unbelievable story. There's so much more details to it. Because the question the yetzer hara was running in my mind is, "What is it going to do with you? You don't even know the person. Why are you going out of your way?" And I'm telling you it was a lot of effort. I didn't have I couldn't go to sleep that night because it was cold. Then we had to fundraise, get the money quick quick and get the money within 3-4 hours. Not let's do a campaign and money will come in in a month. You don't have money now. Who's going to take the body? You need a private ambulance for that. You need to open the place of the chevra kadisha especially for that. And then I It was a a lot of responsibility. But I understood Hashem called me. That's it. That's it. I'm the one that everybody's looking at right now. You know how they make in Hollywood the whole world is about to collapse. One person is about to save the world and with his last grip and all the world is looking at him. Yeah, so That's what was going on with Reuben. Reuben, the whole world, the fate of the world is with what's going to happen right now. Joseph was the ruler of the world. He Because of Joseph there wasn't hunger in the world. Joseph solved so many different problems. Reuben, you don't understand. Your decision right now is the fate of the world. ALL EYES ARE ON YOU. WHERE DID YOU GO SUDDENLY? I don't understand that. The Midrash says if you if Reuben would know how much Hashem is waiting to him for him to do what the right thing, supporting him, giving him the power, everything, then he would do it. Reuben just saw, "Okay, it has nothing to do with me. It's not in my ability. I can't finish the task that I started." Because of whatever thoughts. And what is the cause for that? Not because he was lazy. Not because he was afraid. Not because he didn't have the motivation. He had everything but one element which was the belief that Hashem placed him in this situation, appointed him responsible and I'll do it. And if I'm already telling you to be responsible, here's all the tools you need to do to do it. And that's where Reuben failed. And that's really the first vessel of success in life is understanding that in every situation that I'm in, I'm now representing Hashem. Hashem chose for me to be here right now. And whether the task is clear or not, it doesn't matter. Hashem now is looking and waiting. No. Are you going to do it? How are you going to do it? I'm giving you all the from everything. I see it as the foundation that the tool the basic tool or the first tool to your success in life in everything by understanding that every given moment I'm here right now cuz that's where Hashem wants me to be right now. Which means that right now I need to deal with this. This is what I need to deal with right now, not that. In this place right now, I represent Hashem. I am Hashem's shaliach, the emissary. As the second that you have this awareness and understanding, then you know that you can behave and act completely different in situations. Rashi explains that what was the drive of Reuben was guilt. Why did Reuben want to save Joseph? Not because he felt a sense of responsibility to do the right thing. He did it out of guilt. That's what Rashi says, not me. Why? Cuz Rashi says, "I near bechol alay ti pol ashma. I am the firstborn. The blame was going to fall on me." So, Reuben is acting from guilt. Not from any sense of responsibility to do the right thing. When you take ownership over on the problem, you solve it. When you think the problem is not yours, you won't solve it. Because it's not my problem. And that's really the point where most people miss. By saying or even not saying that, thinking, "It's not my problem. I need to deal with him right now." You know how many times I was in a situation, me and my wife, helping the people that the phrase was that my problem? You know many times they came into the house and found a person on my couch. What is that? What does that got to do with me? If I would tell you how many times I found people on my couch that I don't even know who they are. Not talking about families living in my basement and also some other stories. My wife brings all the stray cats home. Now she relaxed. Can you imagine how it was 10 years ago, 15 years ago? Every time I would come home there's a family living in my basement. Or whatever. Every day there was some stuff some excitement. And of course many of the times what is going to do with me? I need to take care now of a child that ran away from home or or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, it has to do with you. I told you that many years ago there was a certain individual here in spot unfortunately her her husband was violently beating her up. She ran to us middle of the night 1:00 in the morning come to us with her baby. Quickly of course the husband was looking for her. So very quickly became verbally violent. Police came the whole outside of the house is police cars in the middle of the night. What's going on now? She doesn't speak Hebrew the police doesn't speak English. We had to start translating and what a mess and and all that the whole house is up and 4:00 in the morning the police finally left and needless to say the husband is threatening me I'm going to kill you I'm going to this I'm going to that. She ends up sleeping on our couch with the baby and the whole night my wife and me are up. In the morning my whole schedule moved and the person I was supposed to meet in the morning I called I said listen I can't meet you today I might have to meet you in the afternoon. Later on when I sat with him I told him no we had a situation I didn't tell too much information. Hashem should not be but I said more or less what happened. The guy looks at me and tells me doesn't bother you? A woman comes in the middle of the night knocks on your door police come now you're involved now the husband is looking for you then this woman is sleeping on your couch and and you didn't sleep the whole night and your kids are up and it doesn't bother you all this? And I told him no I'd rather deal with other people's problems. When I'm busy with dealing with other people's problems then Hashem has to deal with my problems. So I want the people deal with other people's problems. But the attitude is that right now that woman knocked on my door. Then Hashem chose me to be the one who's going to lose the sleep and deal with the situation right now. So when you understand that there's a problem and you take ownership and responsibility of the problem then you solve it. Because Hashem placed the problem Hashem already has all the solutions for you. When you don't choose the right way then there's no solutions here then there'll be failure. What's the example of what I'm saying right now? Look at the ones who took the place the position and the responsibility and the merit of Reuben. Look at Joseph and Yehuda. Right? Everything that I just says let's analyze Joseph and Yehuda. They they were they were the ones who did that not Reuben. Yehuda time after time whatever you read in the Torah you see that Yehuda takes ownership of the problem takes responsibility and finishes the job. Let's go through the stories. First story the selling of Joseph. Yehuda steps in and he knows that by selling him he saves him. He steps in and he says no we're going to sell him. And he goes through the entire thing not like Reuben who decides to disappear. Yehuda takes responsibility takes charge understands that the only way to save this boy's life is to sell him and he goes he cleans him up takes him out of the pit finds the the the convoy of the Arabs and sells him. That's it. Reuben says let's put him in the pit he let him die there. That's your solution? What kind of a solution is that? Yehuda takes responsibility very simple. You don't need too many chapters in the Torah to understand one little thing. Now let's go to the next story that the Torah tells us about Yehuda the story with Tamar. Do you know anyone in the history that ever did such a thing like Yehuda? Be honest with yourself would you do that? Yehuda goes and gets his daughter-in-law pregnant by thinking that she is a a prostitute. Then she gets pregnant. Nobody knows she what she did. I'm not elaborating on the story we don't have time go and read the parashah. You should know the story. But the fact is what the Torah is not so clear about she doesn't say anything. She says I'm going to go to the grave with this. But she tells him. And the second that Yehuda realized what happened you know what Yehuda could have done? Go home close the shutters wait a few hours let the people burn her to death and then the secret goes down to the grave. That's what he could have done and sorry to tell you that's what most people would have done. Waited the few hours she was supposed to be killed. Let her be killed and that's it and nobody ever knows what you ever did. I'm sad to say that most people that's what they would choose to do. I don't know how I would behave in such a situation. Yehuda such shame to come out and admit and say no no no no no Hashem that she's going to be killed. She's completely innocent. And he takes full responsibility. That's character. That's taking responsibility of the problem in this case he created the problem he did the problem and he's not shaking responsibility because he could have sent her to death to death and then nobody would ever know. He steps forward and he says she's she's right I'm wrong. You know what what a man you need to have what guts to step forward to do such a thing? That's what the Torah is telling us that's what Hashem is looking for not somebody who I got I have plans I'm sorry I can't pull through. Third story with Benjamin. Another story that Yehuda comes to Joseph he doesn't know who he is and he tells Joseph you leave Benjamin out. Send Benjamin back you take me to be the slave. I'm older stronger smarter more capable more experienced you take me to be your slave. Neither one of the other brothers did that they saw Joseph taking Benjamin. Nobody said anything in their mind good let him take Benjamin I'm free. Yehuda goes in knowing where he's going into and he says to Joseph not knowing that it's Joseph talking about next week and tells him no you don't touch this boy. You take me. Yehuda says if I'm here and the task is on me only I can do it. That's the polarity between Reuben and Yehuda that's why Yehuda took the throne. You know Reuben should have gotten it he's the firstborn Reuben has all the qualities but Reuben failed that's why I said one of the tragic characters in the book of Bereshit. Because listen Reuben you were here now your young brother came past you and and saved the day. That's the quality of Yehuda by saying if I'm here here means in the situation the task is on me. Like the missioner says in when there's no person a ish means like when there's no man the missioner also is talking about something else. But the missioner tells you clear that clear. Nobody there to do the job you do it. You step forward. Yehuda is coming and telling us clearly I'm in the situation the responsibility is on me and I'm going to do it. Now I told you let's take the failure of Reuben and compare it to the two successful ones. So Yehuda obviously much higher level than the Reuben I just gave you now three situations in the Torah how Yehuda is so advanced. Joseph is more than Yehuda in that respect. So what do we need to take from that? I'll tell you. Next week is Hanukkah. We're going to light the Hanukkiot, my favorite holiday. You light the Hanukkiyah, you eat your donuts and whatever else you need to do. But, when we light the Hanukkiyah, each one has their customs and depends on where you live, but you put the Hanukkiyah next to the door. Not next to the door, next to the window. A young child asks his father, "Why we put a candle outside the door?" The father answers the child, "Pirsuma Nisa, we have to advertise the miracle that Hashem did to us." The child says, "This little candle is going to make a difference? One little candle is going to change something? That's what's going to advertise the miracle? Why don't we do 10 minutes of firework? Or let's do a parade. Or let's do something serious. One little candle? That's the the big operation? A little candle is going to change something? That's in the eyes of a little kid. Why we lighting candles? So, I told you that Yehudah was great, but Yosef even outgrew Yehudah. Let's analyze now the fate of Yosef. And you understand how one little act of concern, one little act of caring, changes everything. And that's the answer to the little boy who's asking the father, "One little candle is going to make a difference?" That's what our sages decided to do. I mean, after all, Hanukkah I I it's not a biblical holiday. Hanukkah miracle happened, they made a great celebration, and forgot about it. The next year, when Hanukkah came, the 25th day of Kislev, the great sages of the generation saw the same spiritual light that was shining in the eight days during the miracle, it came back. Now, these are of course individuals that not in our level. These are men with Ruach Hakodesh, but they saw the godly light returning, so they said, "Okay, obviously this light is going to return now every year. We have to make a holiday out of it. What should we do in the holiday?" They decide to light candles. And like I told you, that's not big. Let's do fireworks. Let's do I don't know parade. Let's do something big. So, Yosef's life is the perfect example of one little act of concern changes the entire world. Not the only his fate, the entire world. When a person takes his surroundings seriously, then he can change the entire world fate. I'll say it again slowly. When you take your surrounding in a serious manner, everything around you, you pay attention what's going on, then you can see how you can change the fate of the entire world. And needless to say, yourself. The problem is that we don't have a way A to measure and B to appreciate the power of caring. Cuz most people don't really care. That's the fact. You might care of a person you like, but most people don't care. Now, I'm going to be vulgar by saying, "Maybe Reuben didn't care that much." That's my addition. Told you suddenly leave. A little of us being involved in my surrounding, you can see how it changes and affects everything. So, let's see right now a little bit of Yosef's act, and by that we can conclude the message. Let's go to the last reading of Parashat Vayeishev, what's called the seventh aliyah. Right? The Parashah is divided into seven. Every first person who goes up the Torah, seven people plus them up there. The seventh aliyah of Parashat Vayeishev, the conclusion of Parashat Vayeishev, is a very odd and puzzling story. 23 verses that are not talking about anything important. 23 verses. What is so important? And what does it give me when the Torah is wasting 23 verses on the dreams of the minister of beverage and the minister of the baking that are sitting in jail with Yosef? Does it change your life? Do you get any type of meaning, any type of guidance, something that the Torah is giving me 23 verses about the story how Yosef goes to the Sar Hamashkim and why he looks so sad, and he tells him the story and the the the and the and the basket of the fruit and the Do I care about the dream of some a servant of Pharaoh? What what What is the Torah trying to tell me? He Yosef listens to the dream, answers to the dream. You don't gain any information from these 23 verses. Just some type of a dialogue in a situation that happened to two servants of Pharaoh that happened to be are sitting in the jail with Yosef. Why so much details about the the dreams? Come and say, "And Yosef spoke to these two inmates who were Pharaoh's servants, and he solved their dreams." That's it. That's what I need to know that he solved the dreams. I need to know the bird and the food and the top of the the basket and the Yosef heard the dream and solved it. Here, I give you one verse. That's that's all you need to know. Now, why is it so puzzling? Because why do I need a whole chapter for that? 23 verses. You know that the 10 Commandments, 10 Commandments, the foundation of the entire Torah that most of the world, Jews and non-Jews, follow, the 10 Commandments, 14 verses. And you got the point in 14 verses. The entire creation of the world, you know what it means the creation of the world, 30 verses. 30 verses covers the entire creation of the world. And I need 23 verses of details of a dream of a cook and a baker? Or a barman? Like what Sorry that I'm saying it in that way. What do I care about their dreams? It didn't teach me anything. It didn't give me any information. And what's You know what's more puzzling? What is Yosef bother with their dreams? What, Yosef just walks around the jail? How are you today? Did you have a dream? How do we get to the situation that Yosef comes now and is nice to other two inmates to a point that he solves their dreams. What, Yosef has like a booth? Dream solver? You had a dream, come to me, I'll give you an explanation. What's behind that? Why why does Yosef even bother? Yosef is a prince in a place of impurity. I'm sure that Yosef took with him in some type of a way his Torah and sat and learned Torah all day long. He has time to mingle now with two hookers? And to ask them that how are you feeling today? Did you sleep good? Is the Is the pillow cool comfortable? Sometimes the stories in the Torah that you stop and you ask yourself a question. Why do I need to need Two verses. Yosef heard the dreams and solved it. That's it. If the Torah is giving 23 verses for this, the Torah wants to tell you through a story to teach you how to save a life. That's it. That's the point of 23 verses. How do you get a person out of jail? Do you know how to get a person out of jail? What changed Yosef's life? Cuz Yosef was doomed to be in prison. They they didn't have Bagatz or Supreme Court to go and appeal the the the verdict. He was supposed to be there indefinitely. What changes Yosef's life? One act of caring. How did he save the entire world from starvation and everything else that came? One act of caring. He just paid attention where he is. And right now the prince is in jail. And right now he's with the inmates. That's his reality right now. One little act of caring from him to an inmate changes his fate, his life, and the entire world. That's why the Torah goes out of its way, 23 verses, much longer than the Ten Commandments, to come and tell you the little act of caring of a great prince like Joseph to some dirty inmate slave to power. The seventh reading of Parashat Vayeshev comes to tell you how a person changes his fate with one little act of caring, true caring. The seventh reading of Parashat Vayeshev is coming and tells you how you can save the entire world. Why? Cuz he cares. Joseph cares. He cares about the well-being of his fellow inmate, who sees him in the morning with a long face. He comes and tells him, "Why do you look so bothered? What's wrong with you?" Genuinely caring. Now, what does that mean? What is What What do you take from that as a lesson? Just solve the problem that Hashem is giving you. Most people go and try to solve problems that they're not even their problems. Hashem puts a problem in front of you, solve it. Don't start going and looking for other problems. Deal with your problem. Most people don't want to deal with your their own problems, they go and deal with other people's problems. Who invited you here? It's not your business. Hashem placed a problem in front of you, you fix your own problem. It's your problem. Hashem wants you to to do it. It rolled over to you. It doesn't belong to somebody else. The problem that is right now rolled down to your to the bottom of your feet, that's your problem. Deal with the problem that Hashem puts in front of you cuz Hashem put that problem in front of you, and without you even realizing he already gave you all the solutions. Very, very simple. So, what is the success? What is the secret here now, the the dose that you want to take for success? Is focusing on one thing. Focusing on what Hashem is putting you to do. Very simple. You have to understand that if I saw it, it compels me. I'm now in a situation, I saw it. That's it. You're compelled. Hashem says you saw it, you're part of it. That's what you need to go and solve. The Torah is coming and giving us a life-changing message by saying to us, "Here's one brother who was supposed to be the success and failed. And this is what he could have achieved. And this is what he could have done, but he failed because of what we just explained in the last hour. And here are the two other characters in the story, other two brothers, that they took matters into their own hands, and they were successful. The Torah comes and sometimes shows us the fate failure or the misfortune of one to greaten the message from the other. So, when you're coming and looking at Reuben, Reuben is a messenger for each and every one of us for the side of you that decides to fail. That's what Reuben represents in this case. Reuben is coming to tell you, "Hashem gives you responsibility, don't mess it up. Don't be afraid. Believe that if Hashem Believe, that's the key. If Hashem put you in the situation, you can do it. And when you do it the right way, then you change the entire fate of your life. And you can change the entire fate of the world. One person can change the entire world. So, in order to change the world, whether it's the entire world, which, believe it or not, you can. I strongly believe that one person can make a change that changes the entire world. And you might not see it with your own eyes. You know that sometimes you can say one sentence to one individual, that individual changes their mind, and you know how many stories I heard of baby being born babies being born because somebody convinced the mother not to do an abortion. And somehow I recently heard the story, I'm not going to I don't remember all the details, I'm not going to repeat the story, but how a person they two people ran into each other. Person A saved the life of person B. It physically saved the life. And then they found out that person B is the one who saved person A's life by convincing the mother not to do an abortion. But how they met was in like this crazy way. What are the odds that this person goes to convince the mother not to have an abortion, she gives child a child birth, and 20, 30 years later that that person saves the life of the person who actually gave him life. You can change the world with a one little act. Reuben comes and tells you, "I messed up." So, when you want to change the world again, whether it's the entire world or your own world, you require two things. Pay attention. A, pay attention to your to your surrounding, where you are. To live where you where where you are. Some people they where they are, they're I don't know where they are. Hashem put you right now in this place, live it. Be aware of what's going on cuz that's where you are. Hashem is going to roll to you many different opportunities and and and and situations. Be aware of your surroundings, what's going on. That's number one. Number two, to believe at any given moment that I am representing God, I have the power of God cuz he put me in this place to do a change, so he also gives me the power to do that. If you don't feel this, you don't believe it, you will be 90% of 5% of your time you'll fail of anything you try to do. The success is measured by how much you give God opportunity to act, and you do that by believing. When you believe Hashem placed the situation, placed the problem, and you have the solution, you don't know where yet what the solution is. But once you go into the situation, Hashem will give you the solution. These are the two things. Pay attention to what's going on around you, and to believe at all times that you are representing Hashem, that you were chosen by Hashem to do this thing. You, yes, you. Hashem doesn't choose us the chief rabbis of the world. He chooses a simple individual, and that simple individual finds himself in a situation, and only you can change it. And how did Yehudah and Joseph do it? By finishing the job, as dirty as the job might be. And that's taking responsibility. That's admitting, and in the case, look at Joseph. Joseph took it to the next level, way more than Yehudah. Joseph went down to the level of showing a little bit of caring to another person's where the person is is showing us the person is not anyone, an inmate. So, the decisions that we're going to take today to conclude the class is that you're going to take 100% responsibility, 100% noticing and paying attention to what's going on around you, 100% gathering the resources that are around you on the place where I'm standing, where I am, with true emunah. That if I am here, then I have also all the powers and the solutions to solve any problem that Hashem gives to me, and I am the person that Hashem is counting on.