Parashat Miketz - Searching for success? feeling lost? This is for you! - Rabbi Alon Anava

if I had to give a my opinion on what is the biggest problem that most people experiencing that is common to most to to many people maybe I phrased my question a little bit not so clear there's many bad things now that we all need to deal with but one thing is big and it's common to many many people if I would ask with be asked this question my answer would be uncertainty most people they're dealing in some aspect in their life with some type of uncertainty half of it or well I'm being very generous by saying half but let's say for the sake of the example half of it is H they have no control over it about the other half you can control that and I when I said of being very very generous because maybe 10% you have no control over and 80% you can control this uncertainty in your life now the uncertainty listen I can give you now 500 different examples just in the last week many different people who urgently needed to talk to me the uncertainty went from what's going to be in the war in Israel is it's really a seiz fire is going to continue now the Syria what's going to be with the what's going to be with this what's going to be with that that's why one type of uncertainty that can drive a lot of people crazy and then the different uncertainty um should I marry should I date this guy should I know this date this he said this he she all this craziness when it comes to dating and then the uncertainty can be in so many different ways now now I was bombarded the last week oh the drones in America the drones what's happening should we run away from America are they're bombing us what's going on here all day long I would get a urgent messages what are one of the drones relax you know how many how many messages in the last week I got should we leave the USA right now well I've been telling you to leave the USA 10 years ago they mean right now now so there's a lot of uncertainty in you know worldly things oh now what's going to be Trump coming in America I mean there's so much un unty there's uncertainty in worldly matters as then also uncertainty in in my personal matters but if I would have to answer this type of question what is a big problem that I see right now that's going on that needs to be addressed and also needs to be guided to be reduced that is common to many many people I would say most people they live in some type of uncertainty now could be that anyone of you says you know let me scan my my my brain no I'm I'm I'm pretty okay I'm I'm in that 10 20% that you said that I have no control over I'm going to know what's going to happen tomorrow I don't know what's going to happen in a second and a half so this uncertainty has nothing to do with me but many of the little things why are you even wasting your time on that and most of it that's why I said before I was generous let's say 20% is a you don't have control 80% you have control of a big big un uncertainty that I hear all the time is with the livelihood with Thea should I invest here should I invest here what should I do here I'm not making money my business is going bad should I do this should I this uncertainty this and maybe I'm using even the wrong word there's there's no like no security no person is relaxed I see most people are and when it comes to making money that's one that falls under everybody now especially people are worried what's going to be next what's going to be with the economy of the world how am I going to make money I'm going to move my money from here bottom line there's a lot of a lot of uncertainty so B in this class we're going to touch a a little nerve that will hopefully I find the message very powerful but hopefully we'll shed some light on every individual how to bring the this H strong strong certainty and live your life in a calm secure and happy way [Applause] [Music] so before we start the class I just want to dedicate the class to the elevation of the saham yosha Ben it's his third y should have and and any other soul that needs and and everybody else so we're in mik we're still in the drama we're still in the soap opera of the book of bit action going on every second you don't even know from what when the next thing is going to happen last week ysep is a prisoner now ysep is a second to the King and ysep goes through a long long long way of hardship to where he reached really when you're thinking about it ysep is a model that shows us power and strength and he shows us a few very strong powerful points that of course it doesn't mean that if I follow them I will become a second to the king but Joseph is teaching us you follow these points you reach to the level of your kingship where you need to rule whether it's your trade whether it's in your home you'll reach to the level of rulership and really when you're looking at the life of ysf okay maybe first 17 years he was kind of spoiled in his father's house but nevertheless he was picked on all day long by his brothers then he gets kidnapped by his brothers then he gets sold to a convoy of Arabs then he's getting thrown to the house of potifar then he goes to jail I mean and what he goes through in jail so Elph goes through a lot a lot lot lot of problems but nevertheless they made him who he was they elevated him they made him bigger stronger smarter and they basically refined him they brought him to where he was supposed to be can you imagine him being in the position the second to the king without his experience you know when we're young we think that I can do anything and I I know it all I always look back when I was young and I was a know it all age of 16 I was already counting the millions that I'm going to make in 10 years my father would look at me and laugh you don't even have a thousand shekels you're already counting millions that you'll make in 10 years but I knew I had it all planned well in my mind and when you're young you're stupid so most of what you plan don't work and then that's where you start breaking all the rules because going by the rules doesn't work always like you plan and my father would always like tell me the same thing and I would be upset and he would tell tell me come to me ask me I have experience why are you going in all these Adventures by yourself you're young inexperienced stupid I might say and I'm 30 years older than you I have experience come and ask somebody with experience and when I was young I didn't like listening to this because I wanted to do it myself but when you get older you're saying says King Solomon says the the Wiest wisest person is a person with experience how many times do you say to yourself oh I wish I would know then what I know now well that's experience that's why a good doctor he's old a judge a good judge old a scholar old youi you need the years you need the experience so yoseph had to go through life of Hell to reach to to to this to this greatness but he had to go through it the difference between ysep and most people that throughout the years of all the hell that we went through he wasn't complaining and that's what we need to focus on today when a person is dealing with his difficulties all day long because all day long hasm is throwing towards you these surprise balls that you need to to react all these surprise ball surprise balls I call them AEM is just is it's there to for you to to build you up it's literally Hashem is taking you on a workout like let's say now take a a a boxer an MMA fighter he has a big fight half a year sometimes the fighter will prepare and they prepare physically to be fit mentally technically I mean that you prepare for a fight so when hasem wants to give you a great level of success then he needs to prepare you or you think you're just going to walk in was into that moment of Fame whether your success right now is a business whether your success right now is to achieve your studies whether your success right now is to just achieve your daily T it doesn't matter so ysf comes and tells you yeah I I I knew I'm going to be the second to the king I had prophetic dreams but I also knew that there's a long way to cross to get it so in a person is dealing with his hardship no complaining no whining no blaming the entire world then it's AEM preparing him for a great level that's how to take it now comes a big question after after we understand okay yph had to go through what he had to go through and that's what I need to relate with because we go through many different things in most cases you don't see your success in your 20s usually in your 40s 50s 60s that's where you start ripping the the fruits of your heart labor very few people very few people the level of success is high in a very young age but nevertheless now comes a big big question that here lies also the secret of how to achieve yep's approach because if I know that at the end the result is going to be what hasem wants and the challenges and the difficulties that I go that I go through is what Hashem going to decide anyways but it's for me my my workout that's when I need to work out for my big challenge because if I come to the Big Challenge and I didn't work it out I didn't practice I I I'll fail Hashem is being nice to me he's like let's do it on small increments that you get used to like a workout so all this we appreciate with ysf but now comes a big question that might H come up to many we understand that ysph had to go through hardship to get to a great level we we understood the concept that to get to a great level of success there's going to have to be sacrifices and there's going to have to be hard times for that my question is but why did Jakob have to suffer years yob has suffered The Disappearance of ysep okay we understood then ysep had to go through it but what what does jakov have to do here what did Yakov do that he has to suffer the Lost of a child thinking he's dead not knowing if he's dead is dead he's not dead and if he's not dead he's captured 22 years jakov didn't have connection to R KES because he was in a state of morning KES the divine power just disappeared so my big question is what did what did yob have to do why why is yakob let's call it now in the level that many will understand and relate what's yakov's Karma that he had to deal with that and why am I asking that because there's a good answer why Jakob had to go through it it's you that asks many many times why do I have to go through this you're dealing with something the reality right now that I don't know any person in the world well I don't know all the people in the world but I have a pretty good guess most people in the world they're dealing with not one thing with a few things that are big in their life a big challenge in their life a big thing that is like distracting them taking all their energy all their focus all their might swinging them one day happy one day not happy everybody has the challenges and difficulties okay and you ask yourself what did I do what what did they do now if you're smart you psychoanalyze what's going on so maybe you can get an answer but here comes another question that we understand that yph had to go through what he had to go through but why is Jakob suffering why why does Jakob have to go through the suffer now you have to understand let's quickly review ysf is kidnapped and sold when he's 17 years old uh he becomes the ruler of MIT when he's 30 years old that's already 13 years old that he's not in his father's house then add on that two years of er er sorry 7 years when there was an abundance from that dream from the time of the dream starts the seven years of abundance add on that another two years of the famine because only after two years of famine it's when the brothers went down to MIT that's nine so YF was 39 years old when the brothers came and when he met his father that's 22 years that yob didn't see ysep and ysph of course didn't see yob which we're not going to even address why ysf didn't attempt to find them what okay you went out of jail in jail I understand no internet fine but now you're the ruler m n years you can't even send your father something we're not going to discuss it today that's a whole different topic to talk about but the fact is that from the time that ysf becomes the leader of MIT 9 years pass why you make any attempt to reach out to your father par part of the answer to that is the fact that yeah from the age of 17 till the age of 20 39 22 years absence of ysep yacob suffered tremendously Rashi says a very simple and clear answer to push away your thoughts about why well she says it's very simple 22 years he was away from his parents and he didn't do kib he didn't honor his parents for 22 years 22 years he didn't honor his parents so 22 years he had to go through the hardship of ysf that in itself first of all comes and tells you what's the importance of honoring a parents because I know a lot of people have issues with that you know the honoring of your parents is not nothing in the F in the Ten Commandments it's not like some like okay you I'll be nice to my parents that's the first bombshell that the Torah is throwing to you so 22 years yob is not by his parents 20 years by Lavan and two years by like on the road from Lavan to Israel for the fast thinkers H I will jump the gun and saying what about the 14 years he was by sh and EV that's another 14 years that he wasn't next to his parents Rashi says no those 14 years he learned toorah day and night so he doesn't have to pay for that he doesn't have to pay for this time of not doing K because he was learning to day and night saying in other words that if you learn Torah day and night you send the child to Yesa child is I'm not say saying not that he's exempt from honoring his parents but he's busy learning Tor so hasem says learn Tor so we see here mid mid measure for measure yob didn't honor his parents and he got so to say his own Karma by suffering okay now jump forward a little bit in tracted K in the T page 31 there's a story in the story theim the sages have asked RAB elazar how far or to what extent honoring father and mother has to go to like what's the power of kib so he tells them a certain individual at the time who was a jewelry Merchant jewelry fine a metal stones and so forth the name of the person was Dan and they told him and says go and see his the story of this individual this individual had very precious stones so our sages came to him and told him we need to buy some fancy stones to put for the breastplate of the quim and we're willing to give you 60 so that's 10,000 60 times 10,000 of din this is like me coming to you and asking for you for something like that is expensive by paying you 60 times more than the value I mean they needed the best Stones the best everything for the breastplate of the K so he tells them I'm very very sorry uh you're going to have to wait they saying listen we're we came from he lived in Ashkelon we don't have time we came in by out we got to go to the BET mikdash tells them I can't help you right now because the keys to the safe where the stones are are under the pillow of my father my father's taking a nap and under no circumstances I will try to take the the keys out and Shalom wake him up they're telling him we're offering you 600,000 gold bullion are you out of your mind no I have to pass I I will not wake up my father they tell him are you aware that there are other Merchants that's deal with stones not you we go to the next one he's like I understand I'm not going to wake up my father and of course they go and they buy from a different Merchant a year passes and this individual Dina was born in his cattle a red heer was born in his cattle a red heer a red heer we have 10 red heers first one is mosenu eight of them we had already in bet mikdash and the last one will be from mashia this is at the time of bet mikdash now a year passes whop what do you know looks in the backyard a red heer he goes to h to the and in his mind he can ask any amount he wants you know how much they'll buy the red effer but he only asked he says I know you want a red eer of course they asked him how much you wanton he says I only won what I lost last year which is a fraction of what he could have asked when just selling the red heer somebody once told me you want to make money honor your parents so RAB elazar when he was asked the greatness of K is just going look at the story of Dan so if Dan such received such a reward from honoring his father that a year later he got a red e and he could have sold it to much more look at what a what great characteristics he had what midot he had he could have been greedy and say I'll take a triple quadruple 10 times more but if Dina received such a reward what are we that we are commanded on honoring our fathers you know that the B are not commanded it's not part of the SE seven laws of no to honor their father and mother it's a a you want you do it you get your reward for that but you're not commanded we are commanded the Jews are commanded we're not going to now start dissecting kib but you can already Realize by yourself you need to start moving your rusty Wheels in your mind how are you working in regards to kib and I know we all have issues with our parents our parents also have issues with their parents and their parents also have issues with their parents and I'm sure my kids will have issues with their parents so the the the trick here as a parent that's my goal in the last 20 years of being a parent is how not to be a father with issue to my kids so I'm not going to be the for the F the the the the source of issues for my kids that's where it stops but nevertheless when the was asked about he says he quoted The Ten Commandments by saying honoring your parents why so you will live a long life he was asked how you live a long life by honoring your parents so besides the fact because I'm sure you know the great question of of a that he saw the kid falling from sh sending off the bird and then he performed his father's wish the two mitv that the Torah it promises you long life he saw the boy die in front of his eyes he says that's the Tor tells you honor your parents and scare away off the mother of the birds of the the eggs and these are the two MIT one that will give you a long life and the boy dies so he became a but the says how does the mitvah what is it mean that that for the sake that your life will be long he says when your kids see you honoring your parents the right way eventually they'll do that to you and when you old that's when you need your children for many different ways and they can make your life a little bit better softer help you in many different ways if we're not experiencing that that we have to reverse engineer now what's going on but the healthy way for a person to die I mean again it's a dream of every individual I don't know how many of them achieve it I hope I will achieve it I hope mashiah comes and I don't have to battle with it but if I will Shalom need to go all the way to the time of death and mashiah is not here I my dream is to see my kids around me my grandkids around me and they're all in the same level of how I honor and respect my parents and grandparents to see that to the generations now that's the dream of every individual that the kids really respect you your wish and then when you're old then your life is different and RAM says that's the instead of dying old lonely heartbroken and many other problems that you have this this joy that makes your days full and long and like I said if you are one that this doesn't apply to we need to reverse engineer what's going on if Jakob was a judge for 22 years of not honoring his parents with that I mean when we here to learn here we're not here to to insult anybody but nevertheless talking about kib I can tell you already from for my dream my dream as a father as a as a we call now as a head of a family is to see my kids healthy happy marry off good spouses raise their kids to the right path of the Torah and seeing all of them not one kid in mon one in Rio de Janeiro one in Sydney that I I I see sometimes families like that that's not my dream my dream is to have all my kids around me and again I'm not going to hold them down to the ground but that's what I wish for now if that's what I wish for I'm telling you me as myself then I work towards that I don't just sit and say okay that's what I want you want your kids around you you're going to need to invest a lot that they'll want to be around you that there's going to be a relationship there's going to be communication that there's going to be friendship love trust and different opportunities not so simple so that's my wish I work towards that and what is my emphasis is that I give example whatever I want to give over to my kids I don't give them ER through the book my my wife is very upset with me you need to learn more to with your boys it's your boys you learn to with other people dka with your boys I says the my boys I learn Tora the minimum that I need to and the rest I teach them with my behavior not a book the book will not teach them to behave my my behavior is going to teach them we'll give them the example when they see me being very courteous very generous very caring that's how I teach them when they see that I don't lie that I don't come home and start talking about the entire world that I'm honest in business that's how I teach my kids T so the message what I do goes over to the kids and it's never too late I mean listen when the kids are young that's where you mold them but the point is that you see the where I'm going with it the K is a very very very powerful thing you know in it says something very interesting it says two laws in regards to honoring my parents in the first one is a positive you have to honor your father and mother and you know maybe one day if you think it's needed I'll do a class about this entire topic because I think a lot of people are missing the K they're nice to their parents that's very nice of you half of the people of this world I'm sure as I know myself have issue with with their parents one way or another the father the mother this that there's always issues you're not the only one but nevertheless there's ways how a person needs to apply the K in all as Extreme as it is just the fact that it's in the Ten Commandments that's enough for you to understand the the significant but now we have this message this par that's coming to teach us so maybe if it's needed we'll do a class but listen how the addresses it first it gives you the positive commandment you have to honor your father and mother first commandment but it first says your father and then your mother honor your father and that then there's another prohibition in regards to that that it says this can be found in the book of page Chapter 19 Verse three every man shall fear his mother and his father the complete opposite so when it comes to honoring the father's first when it comes to fearing the mother's first why because honoring the father to the mother makes sense right because the nature of a child is to honor the mother she's loving she gives all the food she Pampers she's home all day long so by default the child honors the mother he loves her the father he sees to 2 minutes in the morning two 2 hours at night the father doesn't do much so by default he honors the mother first so the Commandment comes and says honor your father because you have to honor him even though you don't barely see him and your mother that by default you honoring then she comes next in the honoring but in the fearing the nature is that the child fears the father you know just the other day we talked about it I don't even know how we got to that but I'm sure it's like that in many houses in my house my kids they they my mom my wife's H there's no uh there's no Authority there they will you know I don't know the the words but only if she mentions my name or my appearance I don't need to be even only the name ABA needs to be mentioned that's it so when we smoke about it the other day because somebody sent us you know how people send videos all day long believe it or not I also get stupid videos all day long but one of them was funny because it was like a simulation how a man is sleeping in bed and in the background you hear fighting screaming things breaking and and it says my wife trying to get the kids to school while I'm trying to sleep and and and somebody sent it to us and we were laughing and my and my wife says yeah I don't know you they listen why why they listen to you why do I have to say five things five times the same thing and I only say I'll tell ABA so the default here is that they're afraid of the father not that I'm some scary father but I was also afraid of my father and I loved my mother that's how it worked my mother I had a lot of love to her and respect she's the one who fed me bathed me cl clothed me played with me entertained me etc etc my father I was trembling you I was just here is Voice already go into you know some mode but nevertheless in when it comes to fearing then first of all by default the child fears the father so it says when it comes to the [Music] mother when it comes to fearing first the mother so I want to move to a different part of the parasa that is all connected just that you understand the shift suddenly but we kind of can conclude the concept of kib let's put this aside right now we are introduced in the beginning of the Paras to a very interesting concept about the whole H dialogue of par and all his workers par works up he has a crazy dream he asks everybody everybody comes with all the explanations nobody makes sense is going crazy and then comes the Sim and the I don't know how to call him the translation say Chief cup barrier I don't know the drunk of the the of the of the palace the one who poures the cocktails the bartender apparently per had a drinking issue and every time give me a martini give me something a whiskey on the rocks and the guy would that's my additions that's not Rashi but nevertheless we are introduced to this entire concept then s mhim the the the chief cup barrier comes and he starts talking about ysep I'm now bringing up my sins but there was this guy with us a a Hebrew boy in the jail and he starts talking about ysep and quickly of course par says bring your out but you have to pay attention to something here and everything is tied together nothing is by Chance the parot are organized in a very or specific way so we have to see when we have different i i i t that many many times when there's different messages in the same Paras they all connected to each other because then the par show chose for those me messages to be in the same par not the same chapter in the same weekly portion so pay attention to how Sim is talking about ysep like B like with so disrespect the translation Hebrew lad the junk of the junk he's a slave a slave to a minister then he says a after that I mean Rashi says on that like a lad a fool he's not worth for anything what is it the business of s masim to badmouth ysf you're helping par you're coming and saying the guy solved the dreams that he's a piece of junk third class citizen he's a fool he's a a lad a teenager then on that by the way Rashi says something interesting these are how you see a wicked individual that's when you can kind of see the difference between people when you see this type of behavior that's a that's a r that's a wicked individual why do you have to add the deficiencies of ysf you want to help your king so what's your motive here what what's the behavior later he says to he says is first a a teenager then he says I like a Hebrew saying in other words he's not he doesn't speak our language even he's some peasant like uh how does Trump say immigrant he's an immigrant he's not even doesn't even have a green card he's an illegal immigrant then he says it's he's a he's a slave saying in other words he cannot be a king he cannot wear like like a cloth of a of a minister we take from that already that he's trying to help but he's making Ys this big first on the first encounter you see very bad character traits you're trying to help here but you beling ysf on the other side so we can derive from that that there was obviously some type of jealousy and some type of sense of ER of H who can maybe get a different position maybe this H bartender wanted to get a higher position why should ysep get the higher position than me you see the politics how even then and in the house of Paro the politics and everybody's stabbing each other's back to get one step forward a person who's a good-hearted person wants the good for any individual if you find yourself wishing bad to another person then you're going to have to start questioning how good you are and I know each and every one of us has one person in the life that you have all your rights to ask bad for him or her right should we make a survey I guarantee to you I am 80 to 90% right 80 to 90% will say yes there's at least one person in this world world that I would love to see suffer and I'm not talking now about a a terrorist now come and tell me now some world leader or I don't know Bill Gates or something I'm not talking about talking about somebody in your life right now that you would love to close your eyes and hope that he will suffer till the last day of his life he or she I also have a few that I can put on a list my list will be pretty long by the way but I don't have that list because I don't want anything bad to happen to anyone and I'll explain very soon you'll see what Joseph is telling us if you wish bad to anyone stop the video now and start meditating on the fact that you wish something bad on somebody else I know that person cheated you stabbed you in your back trashed you took your money made your life a miserable hell oh I know I have a few of them in my life but that doesn't mean that I need to wish for them bad let's continue and I'll go back to you hold this thought what I'm talking about and and then then you'll see what I'm trying to H convey a good but let me just repeat my saying a good person once the good for every individual he looks at another person just what's good for them that's a real good-hearted individual that's for you as a title when the ramban was asked about the greatah you should love a a fellow individual like you love yourself many different interpretations many different ways of explaining it I told you already that my wife came with This brilliant in M on this which I explained it more in length but the has to be read with a comma it has to be read now the meaning is a little bit different you should love another individual like Hashem loves that individual you understand it's not like how you like yourself obviously hasem loves everybody right I might not like you not you but I'm saying I might not like you but hasem loves you so love that person like hasem loves that person so that comes kind of brings us back to what I was saying a good person I I I have all the reasons in the world not to like you but um I I I wish for you the best the ran says something very interesting he says why doesn't it say gically it makes much more sense to say in Hebrew you should love your fellow friend not grally in Hebrew doesn't make sense it would make much more sfe to say you should love your fellow person like yourself the says to your friend you should love that your fellow individual should be good don't wish bad to anybody that's according to what the says the same wish the same way that you wish yourself good you wake up in the morning and you say AEM today I want the car accident nobody wishes to the eles anything bad unless I don't know I if you know somebody like that will be interesting to meet I don't know a person that goes to the or the K of sadik and start praying I need a car accident I need the IRS on my back I need to the roof should fall down you always you wish yourself only good things so the same way that you're wishing for yourself good things wish for also the people you hate good things let me tell you a secret because I have a lot of of people that I have a a lot of reasons why not to like them but when I learn to wish good for them it works you know why because when their life is good they're not looking at you with jealousy and hate and all the and everything so it actually works perfect it actually works perfect when I had to move away from me some individuals that caused a lot of hardship in my life I only prayed for their benefit because when they're happy they're healthy they're making money their mind is occupied with what with their success so they're not jealous of me and they're not slandering me and they're not looking at me behind in a narrow eye and they're not trashing me and they're you understand the common sense here now wait wait first of all let me just elaborate on what I'm saying because I'm just telling you now in a very simple but yet powerful message write it down if you if you don't apply what I'm saying you really missing the whole point when is the when is the learning great when you know how to to apply it right away then your learning is valuable just to learn and then it stays in some cell in your brain doesn't mean anything the point is what I'm saying to to to to to ER summarize the what the raan says is that you need to wish good for another person even if they did bad to you to wish good for the ones you love that's a given I pray every day that my parents should be healthy have a Long Easy Life Smooth Life I pray for my wife I pray for my kids I pray for my in-laws I there a lot of people I pray for every day needless to say um every day I get emails pray for Moshe and this been this and but I learned When you pray for other people that's when you get everything you need by the way it's better to pray for other people problems now that I'm telling you from my experience so to pray for other people that you love that's not the big deal pray for people who you don't really like but now I'm coming and telling you that's the trick here you want to get rid of people who annoy you in your life pray for their benefit because when they're happy when they're content when they're healthy they'll get off your back it's miserable people who come to suckle your energy with all this nonsense I'll give you a quick example and then I'll go to the point what I want to relay and what I'm telling you now is a true story that I overheard but there was once a certain individual lived here in Israel in a very religious neighborhood and he was a very innocent type of individual the neighbor one day came to him and with an intention to to cheat him and came and told him listen I'm in financial stress and uh and uh I need a a very large amount of money I'm not asking you to give me the money I'm just asking if you can sign H to be a a co-signer on taking a a loan from the now the just that you understand how it works let's say I open this type of gah then you all donate money let's say you a thousand you're a th you're a th you're a thousand now I have in the G's Bank 20,000 shekels dollars whatever then you come and say I need to marry off my child I need to buy F to my ber whatever not going to a vacation in the Caribbeans I need help then the will write out the loan to this individual the individual needs to bring witness not Witnesses signers two three whatever and then B says okay then you pay it a year two years whatever it's like a a Biblical way of giving loans and of course you need the system and you need to trust the person and so forth nevertheless the guy was a crook he convinced this good-hearted individual to sign as a co-signer for 20,000 loan that he's pulling from thear the only thing that the honest poor individual didn't know that this this guy did it to a few other people and then he went and forged the paper and he said of 20,000 it said 100,000 and needless to say took the money from the and disappeared a few weeks a few months later no person they go to the it's not only a coast it's not a coast sign it's actually called a uh a guarantor so okay maybe say maybe I'm using the wrong term but I guarant so they go to the guarant they go to this man he owe us 100,000 shekels 100,000 shekels I but I signed for 20 he says no but he changed it to 100 they went to a b they went you can't even imagine and it doesn't matter because what it said on the he had they found him legally Hally he has to pay 100,000 shekels okay he goes to his wife and he tells her listen honey doesn't matter how right now we have 100,000 shekele debt I'm going to need to make a lot of installments and we have to live very simple for the next whatever year or two cut off this cut that know this know that okay a while down the line the wife of this poor individual goes on a trip to America it's to St by the way goes on a trip to America somehow is invited to some local wedding she comes to the wedding who does she see that neighbor now all that time the wife asked the the husband how did we get this 100,000 shekele debt so he told her everything that happened so she tells him who who who is it he's like no I don't want to tell you for months the wife is like I want to know who did it to us he's like I can't tell you a year or two later I don't know all the details exactly this woman is in America somehow ends up in some wedding and she sees the wife of the crook in that wedding the wife doesn't know anything about her she comes to hi hugs her how are you where are we missed you since you left she's hugging her and praising her and this woman is like I can't believe it I can't believe it she doesn't even know it's us she goes to the husband and tells her and tells her husband listen I I can't I can't you have to give them back the money I I can't at least to them give back the money she doesn't even know it's us and er they end up giving them back the money and and she came clean the the the wife of the crew came and told her listen I see you don't know anything that's going on here it was my husband that did that and we want to give you back the money and she got back the money uh let's stop here for a second the thing is I mean what do you take from such of a story first of all you see what's the power of L you see what's the power of this guy it's not only the that he didn't want to talk the fact that he didn't talk that was huge he didn't want something bad to happen to another person that caused him not to talk L what was the obvious result that Hashem turned it around and he got his money back now let me tell you something now let me give you the juice of the message different story in the parasa it says that for y right before before the famine came was born two kids right and it says before the famine came two boys were born to that gave birth too uh OT of course is the adopted daughter of theat is the daughter of Dina Dina was raped by sh and there was a daughter from that and that's the daughter of Dina okay so he has two kids the first one is Mas and the second one is a and he says why he calls them why he called him that so he says why did I call my son Mas God has caused me to forget all my father's house whatow what that's how you call your firstborn son what kind of an explanation is that last week all the tribes were born there was all sorts of explanation now Masashi is born says oh I call caused me to forget all the troubles that I went through with my father's house saying in other words 22 years also yph went through hardship can you imagine a 17-year-old lives in Beverly Hills and then he gets abducted by his own family and they send him to Afghanistan he lives in some cave I mean he was the son of yob I'm telling you he lived in Beverly Hills wherever they lived not a physical Beverly Hills but Jakob was very wealthy he lived in a very wealthy setting by the way when somebody I'm totally taking a side note here because I forgot to mention it before when I was saying why did Yosef not try to attempt to look for yob there is one commentary that says that they were um constantly moving so anywhere that he went even if he went he would miss them because Yakov kept moving the the they weren't in the same place so they kept moving all the time they didn't have drones and to start searching the search would be very difficult okay I don't accept this commentary if you want you can get something done it was nine years from the time Joseph was King till the time of the famine 9 years but nevertheless let's go back to what I was talking about what kind of an explanation is the Torah giving me that he says that I forgot all the troubles that I had in my father's house because ysph after all ran through the abduction which I'm sure was horrible then all the way to MIT then all the tests in MIT then in jail and this is not some jail that you you make a degree there put some pit under the ground and what's going on there yep says the sorrow that I went through and all the sorrow that was caused for me in my father's because of my father's house because don't forget that even when he lived in his father's house he was bullied by his brothers maybe he lived in Beverly Hills but he had brothers that bothered him all day long I I have kids and I also see a lot of kids like to bully other kids and when another one kid gets bullied that's not fun and one of them ysep says all this I forgot well that's not nice what do you mean you forgot that's not so clear the explanation says so much sorrow was caused to ysep but it's like as if he doesn't remember it kind of like he pushed it away to the to the side and I don't need to remember the horrors of what I went through because really we're talking here about 22 years minus actually minus 9 because nine his life was let's call it kind of okay but then you still have 17 plus the years before that but says I don't remember it's like out of my mind basically this message is very very powerful what ysph is telling us ysep is is telling us that he had sucha and such such faith and such trust in hem that he didn't feel for one second in those 20 years that anything that happened to him was the act of another human do you understand what ysf is telling us all his suffering he never attributed to anyone that's exactly what we just read now what I told you a second ago what say you need to reach to a place that you wish only good for another person if you are in a place that somebody did bad to you and you wish them bad you're in a very low level I'm sorry I trust me I have a lot of people that if I would use what exactly what I'm telling now in a lower level approach I would pray all day long for for for the suffering of many and I'm not talking about terrorists now I'm talking about people who backstab me use me trash my name slander me whatever you the long the list is very long when I ask myself why do I need to deal with these two people with these type of people a to apply what I'm telling you now that even when people do bad things to you yep's brothers sold him they wanted to kill him and in his mind no human did anything wrong to him he tells them are you out of your mind you think you sent me here hasem sent me to to become a king it didn't even occur to ysph that the human involvement in anything that happened to him is the responsibility of another individual everything was AEM he understood that that the the the act of the person is irrelevant and why should I pray for bad for them you understand the level of ysep and the depths what he's teaching us here ysep did not have any anger and any Grudge in his heart that's you know we call ysf aad because we attribute to the fact that he was able to hold his breit guard the Covenant young man No Boundaries nobody looking no civilian cameras the most gorgeous woman in the world is tempting him and he's able to hold and in many other situations as being a attractive individual and the commentary explains he was attractive young man women threw themselves at him like iron held his we that's why we call him YF aik why don't you call him yadik for that for not having any anger and every any Grudge to anyone can you imagine I mean I know you all deal with bad things in your life everyone here if we would give you the stage and the microphone 3 minutes tell me the one the person that is bittering your life you would need three hours not three minutes but today you need to make a complete shift by saying that person that is doing all these bad things in my life took my money cheated me out of my money whatever it is listen I hear all the stories all day long of things that I'm like but each and every one of us has at least one if not 20 individuals that you can gladly pull the trigger or press some button for that person to explode and die in complete Agony and pain and suffering but no no no that's a very low-level way of looking at things if you hold yourself as a Torah obser servant individual and you make the effort to sit here A whole hour and to listen to the class or on the video it doesn't matter and your point is to refine yourself grow spiritually I mean after why you sitting here long time ago I stopped serving food once we used to bring all the time food and cookies and R and I I I said okay you know people come they want a coffee have a c but then people come for the food one time didn't bring where's where's the where's the food no today's only Torah what I was counting my breakfast here so you obviously you come so why do you come you're not bored you come cuz you need to hear some a common sense tools how to apply and change my life so you sat here A whole hour if you find yourself in a place that somebody does something bad to you and you're still angry that's a problem you have to take the YF approach made everything disappear I can only you know tell you things about myself I too had a pretty interesting life somehow somehow Hashem took me on a very interesting life I was I did many different things en counted many different situations I have a pretty interesting life I'm actually happy about it and that's why I'm telling you this right now if you look back in my life there were many many years of struggle of pain of of almost lost of Hope challenges that's very very difficult as I was going through the challenge I to well depending in which level of my religious life but nevertheless in the later years when I knew learned to to know that there's AEM then I gave all the tribute to Hashem the challenges is for hasem but why am I trying to tell you that that many of my dreams many of my aspirations many of my goals many of my plans did only come to FR fruition lately recently and will start coming now and why because before you get to a level that you reach to your potential you have to go through a very long period of climbing you're not going to be you come your full potential in two years or 20 years or 30 years depending how the level of your climbing I see now that with all the hardship that I had to go through now now you know looking back everything the The View looks completely different when you're standing at the bottom of the mountain and you're looking up you're full of energy you are in Hebrew we say I am Target on the I'm locked on the target I'm climbing out this mountain I have all the energy all the might all the excitement all the but the mountain looks from different angle once you start climbing the mountain you know you start getting tired weaker you sit at some point you sit and rest it's not so easy as you thought suddenly it's colder than you thought there's not enough food but you're not you locked on the target when you get to the top and you look down the way up looks completely different on the way up you are experiencing all the difficulties looking from above you don't remember the difficulties you're enjoying your reward of being on the top so why am I happy now to say I understand why I had to go through 20 30 years of all sorts of difficulty sometimes I look back I I don't understand I had to go through this specific Challenge and trust me I went through pretty extreme things now when I'm looking back I'm not saying I'm on top on the mountain yet but I'm far up on the mountain to look back and say I don't remember so much the way up I need to remind myself the stops on the way up I just look at wow look how far I got got so josephh is teaching us I think one of the most powerful lessons to be successful more than that if you remember we started the class with this uncertainty most people they have this uncertainty because they give too much emphasis to the actions of people around them instead of being locked on Hashem and saying whatever hem wants to happen that's what's going to happen the challenges are going to come anyways better to accept them and more than that when a person wants to be successful in business in relationships everything that I just told you now that's the key to find your certainty like yourf is to understand that everything was hashem's doing to reach to a point that you have no grudge in your heart because like I told you you stop the video now we done the class you go home start thinking a little bit you're going to have to think who do I hold grudge against now if you don't hold grudge against anyone then you achieved a lot now you have to see if you really don't H have any anger towards any other person and then start praying for those people pray for the people that you don't like and you what want to reach to a point that you're praying for the well-being of others and again I'm excluding here terrorists rapists ER liberals stop I'm joking small name no I'm joking H I'm excluding all the Psychopaths but anybody else you have to change completely your approach because a person that holds Grudge inside their their their heart he hurts himself that's the first thing that I realized when my spiritual eyes opened up cuz I was the master of holding Grudge you looked at me the wrong way I would remember it to you for 20 years not to talk about if you cheated me on money or harmed me in one way or another I held such Grudge and such Revenge to people and when I started becoming observant you know one of the first prayer that you are acquainted with you have to declare by saying I'm here declaring that I'm forgiving any person that angered me and did anything bad to me whether it's my money whether it's my my body it took a while but I understood that me holding Grudge towards another person I am the one who gets the damage not you if I'm angry at you and I'm holding the grud you don't care you don't you don't leave lose sleep over it I'm the one who's carrying this so to conclude all together we had three different aspects that we covered in this class the first we explained about the K why is it so significant that we understand that had to go through that because he missed is very particular with is particular with like the length the the width of a hair you think yob is worthy of coming to the heavens and they're telling him after 100 and plus years no no you 22 years you didn't do K you have to go back that first of all should answer you 99% of the question of why why why this why do I deserve it you did something cuz when you are experiencing these people who are bothering you why do I deserve it well obviously you did something something get off your high horse reverse engineer what you dealing with you must have done something and as long as the candle is lighting you can fix somebody sent me this emotional video the other day and it was very nice because the individual lost his father and he recorded like this whatever whatever message about how he wished he could say certain things to his father and the message of the video was like you know it could be with a son to a father it could be a could be with anyone the message was you know don't wait don't hold yourself from fixing things saying things showing appreciation forgiving a person don't wait till the person doesn't exist anymore and the message is powerful because you want to do things now not to wait so when we want to summarize the three topics we covered we talked about honoring parents loving another person like you love yourself which of course in it who explains not the love per se rather that I want good for you and the example I chose to give you was when you decid to trash another person can you imagine that husband just telling the wife oh it was so and so she wouldn't hold herself she would go and say you know what so and so did to us and then you have a whole on your on your on your back okay so you did something bad to me it doesn't mean that you need to know you need to know that something bad happened it doesn't matter who happened my wife gets very upset at me when she asks who and I'm like I'm not telling you who it doesn't matter it doesn't matter I'll tell you what happened but not Who and the last topic that we closing the circle with the approach of Y is is the belief that everything that happens in your life is AEM he chooses who's going to do it to you that's why half the people in this world have issues with their parents because the kids think the parents did something to them and then of course you think your parents did something to you you got to let sometimes not sometimes you got to let things go I find that the message here that we read with Yakov nothing is going here without without the connection to the next you have to take all of it together when my life is a little bit chaotic and when I want to achieve things when I want blessings in my life with gooda with achieving my challenges these this is the key to release you from all your hardship that you're holding in your in your heart all the negativity that comes towards you yeah that's your that's your preparation for greatness Hashem is not going to Crown you with a beautiful crown before he worked you out and squeezed you a little bit you have to be worthy for that you know you don't just inherit to wear aem's Crown he wants to give you success in something and every person their success is somewhere else and says well first you're going to have to sweat a little bit then you have to work out for that and you're going to have to suffer for that so you will appreciate it and on the way for the suffering don't be angry at all the people who are now putting you know sticks in your wheels and then are putting all these obstacles I sent them i s sent them to make you stronger to make you believe more in me to make you more observant to have more hope more Focus don't be upset with these people hold your and that's AEM telling you I'm taking you to a greater level so why should I hold anything negative in myself and that's where you see that ysf is giving us the ultimate example he didn't hold any Grudge he swallowed the the the the the bitter pill he didn't know necess necessarily when going to be the end okay so he can depend on his prophetic dreams that he will be the ruler but mf's image is coming to telling you when you have AA in hasem that everything is coming from Hashem and you don't throw your dirty laundry at all the world and you believe that everything comes from Hashem and you see other people as individuals and you want for their benefit then you'll reach to this levels that ysf reached greatness he was the re in politics in richness in family everything ysph really is a a true example of a perfect individual that's why he's called a sadik so now the point is what do you do with this information do you let it fly over your head or you take a few moments to think okay what is the journey that Hashem is taking me in my life I already now I can I'm hoping I will live till 120 I'm more hoping mashiah will come and we don't have to deal with death but uh recently I've celebrated a half of a decade I turned 50 a few months ago and now I can easily say looking back 50 years okay but and when I look back now at all the stations that I had to stop on my Mountain going up I didn't still reach the top I'm still climbing but I more look when I look back what I achieved what I was able to achieve and I can tell you that every stopped that kind of stopped me a certain challenge now I'm able to see that that individual is just a player in the game he has no connection to for me hating that individual and I can attribute the jumps of success for letting go and not holding people accountable for their actions how did somebody told me not too long ago I didn't get disappointed from so and so cuz I have zero expectations so that's a nice approach don't have any expectations you're not going to get disappointed so in many times in life you have to have no not to have any expectations that way you assuring yourself you're not going to get disappointed but the message you want to take from this powerful H sequence in the Torah is that like yadik you put all the responsibility to Hashem you let go of everything that anybody ever done to you you pray for the benefit and the good of others and in all that which we'll have to address in a completely different time is understanding the how in this equation the honoring of your parents work that is a very good sequence a good a good recipe for your own success he [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]