Rabbi Alon Anava is live!

enjoy the service, hear the sha, have a little chat with have the best year possible and we'll try and tap in and maximize the energy of of rash and then you know after rash I'm trying to remember what we're going to be having very soon there's another famous rabbi coming but this time he he specializes in singing you know the song so the rabbi who made that will be in the house Sunday after we get back from Oman. We'll be going to Oman for the Sunday aftersh we'll be having concert in here and then on the Tuesday I'll be teaching you how to prepare for the camp and then we're going to go to the cocktail straight afterwards for those who want to come on a busot the last night of sleep getting ready for your full ware. So without further ado, Rabbi is one of the number one speakers who are rabbis on social media, on YouTube. I've had the pleasure of coming to his show. He's rocking the world with Kabala and it's a huge I'm very humbled and privileged to be able to introduce to you this evening. Give it up for Rabbi Alan. [Applause] Wow, such an introduction. I didn't know I'm the number one. Good evening, everybody. Thank you so much, Rabbi, for the introduction. Uh, we're also going live, so if you have any friends that couldn't make it, send them my YouTube or just go to the YouTube of you'll see the lecture live. And if you enjoyed it, then you can see the recording later on the live. Uh, we're going to have a very, very interesting lecture. I wouldn't even call it a lecture, but we're going to have a very, very powerful gathering. And why? In a few days is yadin, judgment day. Most people don't really take that term in the right measure. So bes today I'm going to share with you a little bit of my personal story how I became observant over 20 years ago because of realizing and understanding the power of the judgment of the heavens and it doesn't matter what's your background it doesn't matter what you're from all human beings are all equal in that respect so to give you just a very quick background about myself I grew up here in Ism And uh I grew up the most not like this. I grew up the complete other side uh of the Torah. Not to talk anything negative about anybody, but I grew up in a bad opinion about the Torah world to say the least. I grew up in Lamat Shaon in Rahana very secular and unfortunately not only that I didn't went in the path of Hashem uh you know in the world of the Torah you have an option to beautify mitzvah it's called mitzvah in my case I would go the other way I would do I would make sure that the sin is done the right way so and you know kadosh bu has his own plans 27 years later, when I was 27 years old, I lived in New York and I lived a lifestyle that didn't really uh reflect any of this. I unfortunately lived a very unique, different, and extreme lifestyle. And at some point, the Ganju decided to make a stop and at the age of 27 on a very powerful night, I died. I uh had too much drugs, had a heart attack. To be more precise, I had suffered cardiac arrest. My heart stopped and in simple language, I dropped dead. And I had an experience that obviously changed my life 180° since my soul left my body, saw the whole world from above, from below to be judged and to come back to share the story itself. Now, the story itself is very long. I don't go into too many details uh for many different reasons. I rather get straight to the point, but the experience is very long. I'm going to share with you a big a large amount of the experience tonight, but then we're going to continue to what do you do with that? What I do with that that you can see the question is what do you do with that? So I like to to look for opportunities and it doesn't matter in what aspect of my life. I constantly look for opportunities because opportunities come and they go. Most people miss 99% of the opportunities offered to them in their life. Whether it's financial, whether it's a place to live, whether it's career, whether it's spiritual growth, most people don't know how to recognize opportunities. So I'm telling you already that tonight you have an opportunity. you weren't invited here by chance. Since my story is very long, I'm going to get straight to the point with a few short and small requests. For the first one, if you don't mind to put your phones on silent and just to make sure that the lecture will go at least silent on my end and the world can wait a few minutes. Second thing, uh I'm going to start with sharing my own experience and I remember everything like as if it happened yesterday morning. The only problem is that I have to use my own words to explain what I remember. So it's extremely important that you don't get hooked on every word that I say and you more try to understand the idea and the concept behind the message and not to get hooked on any small details. Another important thing is if you have questions if you can please leave it to the end because if I'll stop for questions during the lecture then we'll never finish and then uh we'll never get to the end and if there'll be time at the end we'll do some questions and answers and hopefully you won't leave here with a question unanswered. It's very important to understand before I start where I came from because a lot of people see me and they uh they say okay some people they grew up in a path of the Torah a little bit less a little bit more. I grew up completely secular, no connection to the Torah and like I told you hating the Torah and more than that the I lived a lot of people see this image and they attribute to that oh what a nice person what a polite person the reality was that I wasn't such a nice person to say the least to kind of titled how I lived about six years. I was a drug dealer, drug addicts, crazy individual. That's the the easiest way to describe it. Uh I used to produce parties similar to what unfortunately we saw two years ago in October 7 in the Nova party. That's was my thing. And after producing the parties, eventually I figured out that the way to make money from these parties is not the parties, it's actually the drugs. So I became, you know, the rabbi said the number one guy on social media. At the time I was probably the number one guy who provides drugs in the northern part of America. But nevertheless, Kadoshbu knows where he takes a certain individual because Hashem took me to the lowest place in the world. No further you can go from there. And uh just on the way here I was walking and unfortunately literally two blocks from here I'm sure you have this experience too. Walking here unfortunately was some guy a homeless guy sleeping on the floor. He looked like a complete drug addict. And I looked at him and I'm now dressed in a nice suit. But I looked at that. When I see that, that brings me back 30 years ago because I was in the worst place places in the world. Uh now it's not the time and not the place. You want go online, you'll find a lot of material about me. But God took me to the most extreme places in the world. Why? So I can find him in Ducha. The short recommendation is don't go to these places. try try not to go all the way. So tonight I'm going to tell you one little piece and from that I hope that uh will come something positive. So to bring you back in the time machine 20 plus years ago on a very special night first of all was of pes the night of pes and more than that it was on a shabbat the power of shabbat and the power of pes now what's so significant about pes is when I grew up and I was told about the story of pes they told me okay you know it's a fairy tale look at the book they're reading aada it's a fairy tale don't believe in it but The significance of the holiday of Pesak is that up until that time in the universe there was a block for all individuals and from that day a certain godly light came down to the world and permeated a certain power that any individual throughout any generation and doesn't matter who they are are stuck in their own mit which is a state of consciousness of limitation a state of limitation then you that person will have the power to go out of that state of limitation and that state of limitation can be more familiar to us in the language in our generation would be familiar to call it an addiction not a state of limitation in Hebrew it's called mit comes from the word mit mitar is something that limits me and puts me in a state of limitation and it's more the the state of consciousness that I'm in but today if I'm addicted to anything whether it's a substance or or anything else that puts me in a state of limitation Most people don't even recognize that they're in that state unless they're addicted to severe drugs, gambling, something as extreme. Most people don't even figure out and understand that they're addicted to half the things in this world. Starts with your phone that you don't know how to put it down. And if you cannot put your phone down or you cannot be without your phone for more than 5 minutes, then I'm sorry to tell you, you are addicted to your phone. And if you don't think you're addicted to the phone, please give me the phone for 3 weeks and we'll see how how well you managing. And it can be the phone, it can be food, it can be so many different things. The reality is that once something can be food, can be a show, can be anything controls me, then I'm in the state of limitation. And what happened on the night of mitim is that Hashem gave the power to the world that whenever I meet this barrier if I am interested I can go out of that place of limitation and where would it take me of course to a state of freedom whether it's spiritual emotional financial it doesn't matter so that special day is that when I broke free from my state of limitation I lived a life of you know trying to look back at the lifestyle that I lived it wasn't a normal lifestyle my lifestyle was extreme but most people they don't know how to look at themselves and introspect and find their faults in their life recognize the faults and from that decide okay I want to better myself I saw this unbelievable interview wasn't even an interview it was a video that somebody shared online with Tony Robbins who's talking to one of the that came out from a captivity and he's he brought to the to the to the stage and he starts interviewing him and this is in front of thousands of thousands of people in a huge huge place and he's asking you survived 505 days in captivity and he asked him a few questions you should go see it it's very it's very touching very powerful but the words of the the hostage when he was asked what what kept you 505 days first he said something amazing that he says I I couldn't give up because I knew people are waiting for me it's not fair that I just give up my parents are waiting for me my grand my girlfriend is waiting for me I can't just now give up I that's what gave him hope but something so powerful he said that he would uh take from his memory parts of his life, analyze how he behaved in that situation. So when he comes out and ever comes to the same situation, he knows how not to repeat the same type of behavior. Can you imagine that's what's going on in a man who's sitting 50 m under the ground, no air, no light, no food. And what that's what he's thinking. When I get out, I want to become a better person. So let me introspect on different parts of my life and see if I reacted the right way. Very few people are able to stop their life after a situation after an encounter and to question did I do the right thing and you have these encounters 50 times a day and in many of the encounters you didn't react the right way. You could have kept your mouth shut or you could have used a different way of expressing yourself or whatever. How many times after that type of encounter you stop and saying you know what I should have been more more forgiving I should have been more that this prisoner sitting 55 days in in in in captivity that's what he's thinking of I was beyond impressed I was I was inspired so why am I telling you that because most people don't know how to look at themselves and find the faults and know how to pick that up most people look at themselves and they just see that they're God's gift to the world and they can't do anything wrong and they're the best thing that ever happened. One of my first classes, lessons and messages in Torah ever was from the letter of and he says there humble yourself and Hashem will start elevating you and that's one of the first basic foundations that I followed and still follow. It's all about humble me humbling myself in front of Hashem because anything good that I do, it's because Hashem allowed it to happen and gave me the power to do it. And when I don't take credit, that's when Hashem gives me more and more and more. He will elevate you. It's all about, you know, humble yourself. Thinking of myself as a great big thing, okay? To look at myself and see the good things, that's one thing. That's a good thing to look at myself and to see the faults or what I want to change that requires a very big person and a week before Shana you need to look at yourself look at the year back and say how was my last year and I'm not talking right now with between you and Hashem if you prayed enough if you kept the kosher diet if you observed Shabbat that's between you and Hashem right now I'm talking about between you and the and the world. I mean, at the end of the day, Hashem wants you to do mitzvot and be close to him, but he also wants you to be a normal human being, work on yourself, find yourself, and become a much better person. So hopefully tonight you'll get one or two tools how to look at yourself and understand I'm not that great. And when I know how to look at myself, see the faults and know how to fix it or in the biblical term to say to go out of my mim, then that's how you will gain great success in everything that you do in your life. So with that little introduction, first I want to take you on a little uh time machine to share with you the experience that you understand a little bit the the path that I started walking on. So it was a night of pesak was Shabbat. Uh as pathetic as it sound, we organized a party and we called it a pesak party. There was nothing there about pes. There was no mat and there was no hagad. There was only ecstasy, cocaine and LSD. That's what the only thing that you could find in that party. Nothing to do with pesak but the title was pesak party. Anyways, it was a nice big party in Manhattan. And uh at some point at the end of the party, somebody was passing around this smoking device that you smoke drugs with. And you know, being a khazer, a pig in drugs, I didn't even care what's in it, why, who I just yell at. And uh yeah, you like that, huh? It doesn't matter what's inside as long as it's going to whatever. So, um I blacked out and when I woke up, when I came back, the reality was already different. And the reason why I'm saying the reality was different because I knew and understood. I didn't need to be explained. I knew I'm about to die. And the party was in New York. I was with a friend. I told her, "We got to leave the building." And of course, there's much more details. I'm just getting to the point. We leave the building and all I wanted to do is to go home. We go into a cab. I'm sitting in the backseat of the cab and there's no words to describe it or explain it, but I just knew I'm going to die. And I'm sitting in the backseat of the car and I'm starting to choke, physically choke. So, I open the window to get some fresh air. And when I look out the window, the whole world froze. like you're looking at a movie, you pause the movie, everything froze besides me. And all that I could think of is that I'm about to leave this world and I'm about to meet this famous God that everybody was talking about for the last 27 years of my life and I'm coming with nothing. I don't have nothing to come to show for myself. And just did you understand that in that part of my life I had everything. I had millions of dollars. I was a very successful drug dealer. I had millions of dollars. Beautiful homes, beautiful cars, traveling all over the world. I lived the life like a rock star. It was the first time in my life that I understood that everything that I have, everything that I ever did, everything that I ever acquired is nothing. It has zero value. Nothing. I'm not taking nothing with me. The the the feeling was so intense that the only way that I can find how to describe it. Please forgive me if you find it extreme is imagine a person finds the no other reason to live and they want to kill themselves. They go choose the biggest building in the city. They stand at the edge of the building. They look down, take a deep breath, and jump. Now, imagine what's going on in that person's mind the second they leave the the ground. What did I do? I just killed myself. Now, I can't jump up. I can't reverse the wheel. That's it. I have 10 seconds before I'm going to get squashed on the ground. That's exactly how it felt that I brought myself to a situation that I cannot reverse and that's it. Few more seconds and I'm out. And the only feeling that I have experienced is unbelievable regret. There's no such regret that a human being can actually feel from anything physical or at least that I ever felt to that extent. the feeling that you messed something up and you don't have the opportunity to fix. The reason why you don't have regrets when and when when I'm saying you, I'm including myself too. The reason why we don't have regrets is because we have some mechanism in our mind that okay, it didn't work now. I can I always have another chance. I'll do it tomorrow. I'll do it the next time. Unless that's the last time that you're going to do anything. When you come to the junction, when you understand that's the last stop, then you understand that's the last stop. You know, we mentioned unfortunately the k before imagine the what's going on in what was going on in these people's minds two years ago. You see everything coming. You know, you know your fate. You know your fate. You know that's it. It's nothing. I'm not going out of that. sitting in the backseat of the car. It felt like, I'm not exaggerating, 10 minutes, 10, 15 minutes and I'm kind of reviewing my life and regretting the actions that I did. I start remembering all sorts of bad things that I did. And then the reality, the sad reality is, you know, there's no other way of saying it. You know in the Torah with the story with with Yseph was called from the prison. He says in the Torah, I'm reminding you my sins today. If you're familiar with that part in the Torah. So every time I give a lecture, I have to say I'm reminding I'm bringing up my sins to the to the surface today. So I live my life in a very horrible way. Uh the the second part of this lecture is a long lecture how I lived my life. So I had a long record of being a very big not nice guy. Okay. So sitting in the car reviewing my life, I started remembering all sorts of things that I did were that were inappropriate in an extreme way and having this strong regret why why would I did that and how I cannot change that and I understood that I cannot reverse anything. I knew that I can never I'm not going to be able to put fill in. I can't return any money that I stole. I can't ask for forgiveness. I'll never CP. That's it. You have a few seconds to maybe do chuba. I don't know where it came from. I cover my eyes suddenly out of nowhere. And I say, but not Hashem. Hashem's name, which of course I got many times. The question is, if you were so secular, how do you know how to say? So that comes to show you how Israel comes from the depth of the soul. That's not coming from some verse that you memorize. But nevertheless, the idea behind me saying you're the boss. That's it. That's me submitting myself. I'm saying okay, there's nothing but you. The second that I cover my eyes and say, I feel that I'm falling down on the the girl that was sitting next to me. And it was in a taxi in New York. So they had these partitions between the front and the back. And all I remember is seeing this partition and I feel that I'm like diving out of my eyes like you dive into a pool like head first. I feel that I'm diving out of my eyes leaving my body and waking up in this weird unfamiliar place which in the first few moments I didn't know what's going on. Nothing was familiar. Kind of like waking up into a completely different reality. If you need to familiarize yourself with a situation is kind of waking up from a very deep sleep in the first few seconds you don't even know where you are. The first thing that I noticed not knowing where I am that there wasn't any sound complete silence but unbelievable silence. It was such a pure amazing relaxing silence. Nothing like this in this world. Nothing to compare it. The second thing that I noticed that I didn't have a body that I'm like a cloud and that's one thing that we don't notice how heavy our body is. Anything that I want to do, I have to carry with me a sack of bones, 80 90 kilos of weight. I want to move my hand. Everything is it's a it's a sh. And suddenly I'm like a air. I'm like a a cloud. I'm here, I'm there, I'm everywhere. No weight. Very very relaxing and enjoyable feeling. And the third thing that I started feeling is that there wasn't any time. didn't have to go anywhere. There wasn't a clock, an hour that I had to be somewhere. That's one thing that we don't even notice how our life is programmed by time. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years. So, boxes of time. And suddenly I have no time. I don't have to go anywhere. Don't have to be anywhere. Complete silence. Nobody. The best feeling you can imagine. most com calm peaceful state that you can even think of and as all this is happening which I don't know if it's a minute or 200 years because there's no time but as this whole thing is going on I I started having thoughts kind of like you all have your thoughts everybody has thoughts if you're Israeli you think in Hebrew you're American you think in English you normally most people think in their mother tongue whatever they grew up that's what they think but you think all all day long. The midrash says that your thoughts are compared to a river the same way that a river constantly flows. Then your thoughts constantly running in your mind. Now, if you're busy with many different things, working, driving, talking, whatever it is, you're not concentrating on your thoughts cuz you're talking, you're communicating. But when you're by yourself and it can be late at night in bed, it can be in traffic can be in the shower just you waterfalls of thoughts in your mind and you contemplating and you thinking and you angry with yourself and you telling yourself jokes and you telling yourself you have a whole conversation in your mind. I guarantee to you that if some somebody taps into your mind, hacks into your thoughts, they'll be convinced that you're a complete lunatic. And I'm by the way it's not me that's saying that there was a great guy that was murdered in the Holocaust is is known as the Reb from Petsna in his book Eshkodesesh he's sacred fire he's talking about that and he's explaining that if you would be able to read somebody else's thoughts tap into their mind what they're thinking of what they want to do what they would want to say what they want to that person is completely lunatic so I had my thoughts and my thoughts was like what's going on? Where am I? What is this place? How did I get here? What's what is this? So, in the same level of communication, there was a voice telling me, "You died? This is your death?" And I'm like, "What? That's how I die?" It was the weirdest thoughts that that's how I die. Now this voice since I kind of didn't believe. So this voice is kind of like pointing down and telling me you died. Now again there's no eyes, there's no hands, everything is understanding. I understand that this voice, this entity is telling me look down. And I kind of like look down like this and I see my body on this girl in the cab. I'm like the height of the ceiling looking down like floating from above and looking and seeing the whole thing. And in my mind, I'm like, that's how I die. That's the story of Alon in a backseat of a car. What? My friends are going to see each other in the street. Hey, how are you doing? Yeah, you heard about Alon? Yeah, I heard he dropped dead in the backseat of a car. I was like, that's how I die. I know it's a weird thought, but nobody really thinks of their death. Nobody sits at home and says, I wonder how I'm going to die. I hope you're not the one who sits. Hashem, please. Car accident. Nobody really thinks of their death. I mean, the only time you think of the death is if you're thinking if you're sitting with your your life insurance agent and you're saying, "Okay, one day I'll die." Other than that, you don't think of your death. The sad reality is that how I led my life, I was sure that every day I'm going to die because I led my life very very extreme. So at least I was like, but at least if I die, at least let me go like 300 kilometers an hour on a motorbike and get crashed on a wall. Something with some action like a job dead like a sack of potatoes in the backseat of a car. This thought was so weird that you know when I became observant, first thing that I started praying was the morning prayers. And if you ever look at the morning prayers, you'll see there's a paragraph that it says. Now in Hebrew is a bed. And I was like, what kind of a prayer is that? I'm asking Hashem to save me from a weird bed. Till I figured it out that bed with a bed you write with a T. When you write it with a T, it means death. save me from a weird death because it's extremely honorable or insulting to the soul how it leaves the world you know a sadic leaves you know go to sleeps that's it so it was just a very weird thought that that's how I die but there was no fear no pain no anger nothing and as this whole thing is happening I feel like this entity that is communicating with me it's kind of grabbing me from the back and pulling me higher and higher and I the higher I go the more I see of what's going on beneath me and at some point with the vision of constantly looking down like this it felt like something happened and I fell down from where I was into this girl's body and within a split second I saw her entire life but not her entire life like a movie that I'm seeing a baby and then one years old and 2 3 4 5 6 it's like I sat in front of like 5,000 screens And I every screen was a scene in her life and it didn't come in order like baby 1 2 3 thousands of scenes and I'm in the scene and I'm in the body. So, I'm seeing everything. I'm hearing everything. And I'm like 60 cameras now from all directions. And I pick up on every little detail there, all her life, her entire life. And I feel her emotions, and I think her thoughts and and I'm also seeing into the present, how she's kind of freaking out that her boyfriend is dead on her. And as all this is happening, I'm going higher and higher and higher. At some point I was like the height of like maybe two or three floors and the car that I was in was already driving towards the hospital and wherever the drive car is go driving I'm like over the car like a magnet flying over the car. And at some point the car went under like this little bridge and I was so high up that I went into the bridge. And I like calling it that the graphic design of the world. And I'll tell you what I mean. It says in the kadesh creates the world with 10 speeches. How does Hashem create the world? He uses 22 sophisticated tools which are the letters of the holy language and he puts them together like a code and that's how he creates the world. That's why in all the prayers you will find verses something like we say that every day in the morning prayer. What does it mean? Blessed he said that he created the world. Now it's not that he created the world one time and that's it and he left. Hashem every second recreates the world. Another paragraph that we mention every day in our morning prayers that Hashem recreates the world as we speak. And if for one second Hashem pulls out no words, nothing exists. And how does he do it? Letters take Hashem takes a lot of letters, puts them together. I would explain it in an easier way for us to understand. Hashem is writing a code. That's it. The world is like one big computer program. And of course, I'm not limiting Hashem. I'm just trying to metaphorically explain how the system works. Shashem really is a programmer and he wrote a perfect code with gazillions amounts of details and that's it. Now, if you're going to the world of programming, then you'll know that there's always going to be the code that creates the program, the software. But on top of that will be the code that creates the design of it. what you what you see on the screen. The second that I got pulled into this bridge. Everywhere that I looked, all I saw is billions and billions of letters, Hebrew letters. Everything was letters. And I was able to read the code and understand what I see. And not because I'm Israeli and I know Hebrew because the soul has there's only one language in Sham. There's no languages up there. There's no English and Russian in the heavens. There's lashon kesh and it's not read and and understood like how we perceive it. I can sit now for hours and describe how everything looked. It was unbelievable because every letter was built from endless amount of more letters and everything had like this endless infinite dimension. But really the reality was that there was no reality to that. And the the the explanation is very simple. Take now a beautiful picture and in the picture you see mountains and valleys and you see a lot of depth in the picture but when you turn the picture sideways it's the it's the thickness of a millimeter but when you turn it back around to you you see the depth. That's how we see the we see the world. We see sky. We see the ocean. We see colors. Things are moving all the time. But the reality it's all the the there's no depth to it. When you turn it around, there's nothing there. Experience unbelievable. But let's continue. As all this is happening, I feel that I'm high going higher and higher and higher. At some point, I'm like the height of like 20 floors. I'm flying over the city of Manhattan. And then happen something even more amazing. Imagine now you're going in the streets of Manhattan. This is not Tel Aviv that every building is like three and a half stores. The floors in Manhattan. your building 50 60 80 floors. Imagine you're in a building and all you see is windows. The same way that I felt into this girl's body and I saw all her life. It's like as if I was going through the buildings and scanning all that's going on in the buildings. And imagine you're looking at the building and you see in one window one apartment, another window is another apartment, another windows a different apartment. It's like as if I was able to see in every apartment what's going on and relate with the individual in that apartment. Kind of like me sitting here right now and I'm going like one after the other like scanning you from top to bottom and I know everything about you. Not basic things like as if one a communication with every individual and I know everything about them and I feel their emotion and I think their thoughts and I'm connecting with everyone at the same time. thousands of people and here I always stop to say uh a funny story that when I went on my first date with my wife then I told her this story so I was like a 37 and a half% religious she was like 12 and a4% religious she a Jew grew up in America totally secular and she came to college she met a rabbi on the campus who started inspiring her getting her closer to Hashem and 10 years later she met me and later on she told me that that part of the lecture it's what for her it wasn't a lecture about you getting a lecture she got the full version you getting like a short version like you'll get like a 2-hour lecture she got like a 9hour version she was a very long date with a lot of coffee but she got the full version of the story and later on she told told me that that part is what made the switch in her mind. And she told me that for 10 years she's kind of like bouncing backwards and forth with this whole Jewish thing. And she was like, "One time I was observing kosher, one time not, one time I'm wearing dress, one time I'm wearing pants, one time I keep Shabbat, one time not, depending on the mood." And she says, "I didn't have an issue with Hashem. I believe that there's a creator to the world and I believe that the Torah is real. That was I convinced all that I was convinced but I didn't believe one thing and nobody was able to answer this question and until you came since nobody answered the question then I couldn't find myself to make that little jump to become servant and she told me you know what was my question for 10 years there are about seven or eight billion people in the world you want to tell me that God knows all the people in the world how can he know so many people. So, you know what? Let's ignore all the people in the world. Let's just concentrate on the Jews. And you know what? Not even all the Jews. Let's just concern on the observant ones. So on Yonipur, let's say roughly about 2 three million people are in a synagogue, correct? Around the world. So you want to tell me that God can hear 2 million people praying? How can it be? And if this is the case, then Hashem doesn't know so many people, why would he know me? And if he doesn't know me, then why should I bother with anything? Why should I be dressed modest what he's looking at me? Why should I say a blessing when I eat something? Does he really care? He doesn't even know me. And when she told me when you told me that you were flying in the air like a leaf in the wind and you were able to see in these apartments literally in every apartment a person read their minds feel their thoughts and feelings know everything about their life have like a personal encounter with this person and move on to the next and all that's how at the same time she understood how now I understood how Hashem the creator of all worlds can see every individual ual and not only see Hashem has a personal individual relationship with every person. It's like as if Hashem has a relationship with you and only you and nothing else exists in the world. Every thought that you have, every time that you're sad, you're happy. Hashem is with you 24/7. You happy, he's happy with you. You crying, he's crying with you. You going the wrong path, he's trying. No, no, go that way. It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from, how observant you are or not, Jew or non-Jew, it doesn't matter. Hashem has a personal relationship with every creature that he creates. Animals do so much more. So you so was able to make one person a little bit closer to Hashem. And I don't even know how. Two weeks later when I asked her to marry me, she agreed. Up until today, she's like, "What the up until this point of the experience that I told you everything was great, everything was positive, everything was amazing. I saw what I told you now is not even 1% of what I actually saw. But suddenly everything changed to the worse. And instantly with no preparation and no warning, it's like something grabbed me from behind and I woke up in a completely different place. This time pitch black. I don't see nothing. The entity that I feel that is communicating it feel it felt like a 100,000 lbs is on me squashing me. That's how it felt that being squashed to a point that I couldn't you don't really breathe in the world above but I it felt like I'm suffocating unbelievable pain. Not normal fear cuz I don't know where I am. I don't know how I got there. I don't know if I'm ever going to get out of there. I don't even know what's going on here. I fast forward about two billion years of suffering just to get to the point. But just that you have some type of an understanding. It literally felt like I'm going through like a funnel and the walls of the funnel are full of blades. And it felt like as if I'm being pulled through the funnel. And the more higher I go, the more squashed I become. And these blades on the walls of the funnel is like ripping pieces of my soul. Unbelievable spiritual pain that there's no words to explain it. And there's much more description and much more information. The point is important on that that I understood after it seemed billions of years of suffering. I understood who I am. I knew what I am, who I am, what's holding me, where I'm going. Because the soul is very intelligent. It doesn't need a manual to understand what's going on. In the spiritual world, everything is just obvious. And I understood that this feeling of spiritual suffocation that I'm experiencing, it's because I have no connection to the source of life. Now when you say the word God to most people, I don't and uh the reality that really if you want to define God in any type of definition, then I would define him as the source of life. That's it. There's no other way you can define Hashem. If I have to define it, it's a source of life that you'll never figure out what it is. It doesn't matter right now. But all source of any living creature, that's the source. The feeling that I felt of I call it spiritual suffocation because I wasn't connected to that source. That's it. Very very simple. There's no other word word way to explain it. How to connect to the source that's a whole different thing. But the lack of connection that's the experience that I had. The reason why you cannot go wrong because in the world above there's something that we are not familiar with. In this world world we are familiar with two types of realities. The first reality is the reality that is called truth which is not so easy to find in this world. In this world we are more exposed to the reality that is called a lie. So our sages in a very wise way called the world above the world of truth because in the world of the world of truth there's no two sides to the coin there's only one side and it's called in this world unfortunately there two sides coin so our sages call this world alma the shikra the world of lie the world of deception 99.9% of what's in front of you is not even real. But that doesn't exist in the world above. In the world above, there's only a met. Therefore, you can't hide anything. Everything is obvious. And not only that, if you are type of person that can only go out of situations in this world with the opposite of truth, you're going to find it very hard to work your way up there. Because most people, they know how to get out of situations in this world with lies. Why were you late? Oh, don't ask. You know how much traffic? In other words, you liar. You just left late. Why? Why? Why? Why? That's how you just say, "I left late. I'm sorry." And by the way, just for this for the example, exaggerating is lying. So you know the the main thing I can take from my own experience and give is give it over and that's how I try to live my life is that you walk on a path of truth. Now it's okay most people lie to other people that I can maybe say but unfortunately most people lie to Hashem all day long if they have whatever uh uh relationship with him. But the worst of all is people lie to themselves. People look in the mirror and lies lie to themselves. Liars won't be successful. Not in this world and not in the world above. I can tell you already that that's one of the worst things that Hashem hates. A lot of people ask, "What's the worst sin?" There's no worst sin. All the sins are not good because it gets you away from Hashem. A sin is not that you're going to now put yourself in a place of problems. You're just removing yourself from the connection to to the life force. If you need a definition of a sin, you do a mitzvah, you connect yourself to the light. That's why it's called a mitzvah. I know a lot of people translate it to a commandment because it's a commandment. But a mitzvah comes from the word in Hebrew taba. Sava means to connect two things together. So I do a mitzvah, a commandment, then I connect myself to the godly light of Hashem. Very simple math. And why would I want to do that? Cuz that's the source of life. It's almost like saying, you know what? I really don't like the policy of the electricity company. I don't think I want to be connecting to them anymore. And you shut your connection down. Who suffers from that? You. You have no electricity. You fool. Connect yourself to the electricity company. Yeah. But I don't really like their policies. Who cares about their policies? You need electricity. And if you won't connect yourself to an electricity company, they're not going to come to you. They're not going to knock on your door and say, "Hey, are you looking for electricity? We saw that there's no light in your in your house. So, I want to be energized, then I need to connect myself to the power plant." That that's the simple equation. No need to do too much math here. Now when you're not connected to the power plant or to the source of life then don't complain that life is not going that smooth and well for you. So going back to my situation spiritually nothing was going good but I understood very clearly that the only thing that can get me out of this situation is the master of the universe. And I started screaming to Hashem like it felt like I'm screaming to Hashem for thousands of years. And after thousands and thousands of years of being in isolation, darkness, suffocation, suffering, anything that you can imagine that is negative, I suddenly see a dot of light, a microscopic dot of light, which I hate using all sorts of cliches, but it was the light at the end of the tunnel. Can you imagine seeing a dot of light after thousands and thousands of years of darkness? And really I'm being very kind with you and I'm not ex explaining or uh giving too many details of how it it was that experience. Trust me it was very bad. But after seeing that dawn of light that was my hope I understood that I can somehow if I get to that light then I'll be saved. And I was screaming to Hashem help me save me. That light started coming closer to me and closer to me and came bigger and bigger. At some point there was nothing but this light. Bright bright bright white light. Everything everywhere that I looked was this bright light. And I knew that behind this light is a there wasn't a question here. It was just a question is how do I how do I somehow grab that light? And it literally felt like Hashem started to talk to me telling me, "You calling me? Where were you 27 years? Suddenly you call me." Ah, how convenient. I only found one way to explain how this whole encounter felt because it felt like a hand reached out from that screen of light, touched me, grabbed me into the light and sucked me in. But I only found one, one way how to describe it. First of all, the short version of the description, it was unbelievable, not normal pleasure. It literally felt them being electrocuted from pleasure. Now, what was this pleasure? Imagine now you take a smartphone. If this smartphone is not connected to the internet, then it's nothing but a fancy camera. Has a few games, maybe a few other applications that will help you do and achieve some things, but that's it. But once you connect that phone to the internet, any question you have, anything you want to know and within a split second, all the information in the world is in the tip of your hand. That's how it felt. It felt that that hand that came out of the light and pulled me in, it's like as if I was connected to this main source of information and endless amount of information was downloaded to me instantly. And this information, this godly information, this godly wisdom, it was translated to pleasure. I saw everything, understood everything. I'm exploding from pleasure. But at the same time, I'm experiencing the complete same level of torture because I see this godly information. It's going through me. I'm this genius. I know everything about everything. Everything made sense. It's like as if I saw the entire world as one long panoramic picture from beginning till the end. How everything looked. Perfect. Genius master plan. Little dots on the timeline. Like the Holocaust made sense. Everything made sense. Everything that you can think in your mind that is like complete madness, everything was a perfect component in this genius master plan. And not only that, endless of information that literally was in the tip of my hand. But why am I feeling this unbelievable torture as I'm experiencing the complete opposite? It's because it was like as if I was stuck in a bubble and I'm seeing everything and I'm I can't touch it. And it was like as if they're telling me you have no connection to this place. You're just passing by. You're seeing the the windows. You know when you go window shopping, you have no connection here. You have to go to the next room. And I'm like begging them, leave me here. What are you doing? Why are you taking me out of here? Are you out of your mind? Needless to say, I'm being pulled out of this hold, thrown into this huge room where I find myself completely naked, standing in the middle of a huge room in the size of a stadium. And I look around me and all that I see is millions and millions and millions of eyes looking at me. All the souls of all generations are standing there like a ring around me, looking at me, seeing through me. I'm completely transparent. Meaning that every thought and every action and everything that ever went through me, everything is all known, all written in the air. And the feeling is one very simple feeling. Shame. Shame. Like as if I'm the only wicked soul in the universe and all the souls are righteous. Now the feeling of shame was a between me and all the souls. But it felt and again no body but it felt I was sitting like this like a person who's embarrassed and I knew if I lift up my head I see God. There was no question like I just knew that if I pick up my head I see Hashem. I couldn't lift up my head. I had such shame in front of Hashem because it felt like Hashem told me what did you do? I sent you to the world with a list this long of things to do and a list this long of things not to do. And everything I told you to do, you didn't do. And everything I told you not to do, you did. You messed it all up. You didn't even get one thing right. It literally felt like I broke Hashem's heart. And I knew that they're about to take me to the next room. And I was begging, "Please leave me here for eternity with all this shame. Just don't take me to the next room." Sure enough, they take me to the next room where I find myself in a courtroom. I know it's a courtroom. And by the way, everything that I'm telling you, there's no visions. It's not that something came with a picture. It's kind of like a dream on steroids, but not on steroids. Magnified a million. If you ever had a real strong powerful dream, take that as an indication and magnify that a million times. There's no words in dreams. There's no languages. By the way, if you notice next time you dream, pay attention. There's no sounds. There's no talking. There's no music. There's no colors. You perceive everything. You don't see it. So, I understood I'm in a courtroom. And I don't even know where I had the feeling, where I had more the nerve. I somehow look to the left and I see battalions, roles, endless angels, all prosecutors, all look exactly like me. If you wonder how they look exactly like me, but completely deformed. Every action that I ever did, which we know every action you do creates an angel. You do a good action, you create a good angel. You do a bad action, create a bad angel. And you can call it an angel, you can call it energy, you can call it whatever you want. But the reality is that you do any certain action that you do. Talking about spiritually right now, of course, the action is done physically. But spiritually, what happens? Like a wave. You don't see it, but I do something positive. A wave of positive energy is like a ripple effect around me. Now again, one can call it energy. The calls it an angel. You create a spiritual entity that is positive. It will protect you. It will serve you and so forth. You do the same thing negative and you create a negative angel. I don't know if you ever been into a mirror room that you have a mirror in front of a mirror and you look in the mirror and you see like thousands of you. That's how it looked. Thousands. Endless. I couldn't see the end. Now I don't know where I got the from. And I look to my right and I see two defense attorneys. One was crippled, the other one was blind, two, and they're telling me, "You want to say something before we start?" I'm like, "What's to say? You see my two attorneys?" And at this point, they're showing me the movie of my life, but it's not shown on a screen. They take me back to this world. I'm back in my body, born again, and I live my life again like a powerful deja vu. I'm in my life again, but this time the most weirdest way. I'm outside. I'm standing outside of the body looking at everything. every scene of my life like 5,000 angles the thoughts the emotions the the everything is recorded and all the souls of every all there looking and everything in my life is pointed out here you stole here you lied here you did this here you did that 27 years of a horror movie at some point I'm like cut it out we got the point now at some point they were trying to be like real nice the Torah calls it must be something good could be that can be that it's only bad so they took all the good and put it together and they started reviewing okay one time you smiled to that person one time you helped that person one time a dollar fell out of your pocket and a hungry person picked it up we'll give you charity for that one they put all the good things together and they told me khabib See, it doesn't look so good. 99.99999 bad and 0 nothing good. Nothing to do with you. So, at this point, it really felt like that's it. But for whatever reason, they told me, "Listen, really going through your record, nothing to do with you. Lost case." But today's your lucky day. We're going to give you an option to choose from. Option number one, you go back to the black thing that brought you here. That's the malah, the angel of death. And he will take you to where you need to go to. And that wasn't really an option. I said, "Okay, what's option number two? I'll take anything over that." Told me option number two is that we bring you back to the world, but that comes with three conditions. Condition number one is that you have to live your life like a Jew. Now, they didn't tell me what's a Jew. They didn't tell me a definition cuz they didn't tell me or Ashkinazi or Kabad or Brley. You choose. They told me Jew because in the heavens we're all the same. By the way, we're all equal. Doesn't matter how you pray, we're all the same. And to make sure that I understand what it means to live your life like a Jew, they showing me a life of my entire a movie of my entire life forward. I see myself with this long beard and I see all my life formed many big parts of my life and they're telling you that's how you have to live your life and don't come back here after 120 years and say I didn't know I didn't feel like it. See this is the blueprint. Don't turn left. Don't turn right. Don't add don't remove. That's how you have to live your life. Condition number two is that you have 27 years of debt. So today is your lucky day. From 0 to 13, we wave off any sin that you did. From 13 to 27, you have 14 years of debt. So to become obser is not to put a yamama on your head and to grow a twoft long beard and that's it and I'm good to go. You have to fix your past. You stone, give the money back. Whatever you damaged, go in reverse. You have to do chuva. You have to reverse any bad situation that you did in the last 14 years. which in the beginning sounded very simple, not simple at all. And condition number three is that you have to say to anyone that you meet down there what you saw without adding information, without removing information, just have to say that's what I saw. Now, I wasn't really in a position of telling them, you know what, why don't you give me a a day or two to think about it? Let me consult my two criminal attorneys and maybe I can get a better deal. That wasn't really the reality. I was like, where am I signing? my Wednesday accelerator going down. You can't come back here and say I didn't feel like it or I didn't want to or it didn't work out for me or it was too hot. Once you sign that's it. Of course, there was no place of negotiating or thinking even and I'm not exaggerating. It's it felt like I signed the deal. It actually felt like I'm shaking Hashem's hand. That's how it felt that I shaked Hashem's hand and I gave my word. And the second that I signed the deal, it felt like Hashem punched me so hard. It felt like a a a train hit me. And the second that I feel this unbelievable impact, I hear Hashem telling me, "You have to do." And with that impact, Hashem puts me back into my body and my eyes open up in this world. And I wake up, I see all I see above me is lights, people. I'm completely out of it. I'm like not connected to the world. I don't hear anything. I don't I just see lights. Fast forward a few hours, I'm completely out of it. And all that's going on in my mind is that I have to put filling on. I have to put on. I have to put filling on. I don't I can't talk. I'm mumbling. And now I'm fast forwarding a lot of details just to get to the point. So anyways at that time of my life I had a friend who started to become observant and uh for the last year before that day every time I would see him he would come and tell me you want to put fain on and I'm like no no no and every time he would try to convince me and he would try to tell me all sorts of and I was so I was like a brick wall. Suddenly I remember my friend I call him up. He wasn't that religious. He picked up. It was Shabbat of course. So he picks up the phone and I tell him uh you got to come now. I got to put Fin on it. He tells me I told him don't ask any questions. He lost it. I told him to ask don't ask any questions. I need you to come right now with your fine. I have to put Fina on. So he tells me what happened. I told him it's Christians right now. Just come with it fill in. So he starts telling me but you can't put fillain on it's Shabbat. What? Who cares what day is it today? A whole year you're trying to put fill in on me. Now's your chance. You tell me alone you can't put fillain on Shabbat. Shabbat, not Shabbat. Sh. So he tells me, listen, you can't put fill on Shabbat. So I said, I need to do something religious. Take me to your synagogue something. So he tells me, why don't you come tonight? It's l it's pesa. I said, "Oh, that sounds very religious." That night I went to my first said laid that I ever did in my life. For me, the definition of pesak for 27 years was 3 weeks vacation because in Israel you get vacations to the Jewish holidays from school. So for me, pesak was the best vacation growing up. You get three weeks off school. Kanuka was a pretty cool holiday. You get eight days off school. Boom. You get a lot of treats, but it's only one day off school. So all the Jewish holidays remember was how much days you're getting off school. Was the best holiday? Three weeks off school. But I never celebrated PES. To make a very long story short, two weeks after this encounter, I'm completely by the way, 3 months, I'm half my body was paralyzed. I I'm making it sound very quick and fast. I'm just zooming through details. Two weeks after this entire thing, I don't remember nothing from what I told you. I'm like like like take a person, slam them in the wall, and then that's how I was. I woke up. I was like this for two weeks. Didn't remember one detail. And one night I'm half asleep, half awake. Everything that I told you now, plus the 99% that you didn't hear, everything wakes up. Everything in one shot. And I start seeing all these scenes in my mind. I'm I'm starting to go crazy. And the first thing that I do, the girl that was with me in the taxi, she's sleeping next to me. I wake her up in the middle of the night and I tell her, tell me, when you were six years old, this is this ever happened to you? And she's like, how did you know? And I was like, when you were seven, did you live there and there and this happened to you and this? And I'm giving her perfect description of every situation and everything that I'm telling her. She's like looking at me like she was like, "How do you know? Now I have a problem because up in this point I thought, okay, maybe suddenly I'm like I'm I'm signed on a deal. What am I going to do?" I started freaking out. Now I didn't have much options. What are my options? Option number one is to go to the religious people, right? Let's review first. Option number one is not the going to the religious people. Can you imagine me going back to my doctors because I was tested all the time and telling them by the way that's what I saw? Can you imagine the reaction of these doctors? Mr. Nava, sit down, relax. Here, take this pill. Put your hands in this white jackets. The doctor's coming in a few minutes. Everything will be fine. Just relax. If I would go to any normal doctor and tell them that's what I saw while I was out, I would be instituted as a as a lunatic. Okay. So, what's option number two? Who can I go to? The religious people, right? I didn't have a good I didn't think that well about them. For me, looking at the religious people, the Orthodox, I thought they're not case. I thought they're completely crazy. All dressed the same, behaving weird, swinging chickens over their heads. I'm going to go to them. Yeah. So what are my options? I ran out of options. So I call my friend, how do I become Jewish? What do I need to do? He tells me there's a lot. I said, okay, so give me something the basics. So he tells me, okay, you have to eat kosher. I said, okay, what do we eat? He's like, well, it's not what you eat, it's more what you don't eat. I said, okay, what don't we eat? So he says, well, you can't mix meat and dairy. That's it. No cheeseburgers and I'm a Jew. No, no problem. He says, "Well, it's a little bit more than that. You can't eat all sorts of animals you like." I said, "I don't understand what's going on here. I'm going to be on a diet and I'm a Jew. No problem. Starting from today, I'm on a diet next. Anything else?" He's like, "Well, uh, well, you have to pray, too." Rain sounds like okay when do we do it on he's like no every day every day three times three month is not enough and then he starts going on and put on I'm like what are we looking at he's like ah don't worry that's nothing that's like 5 minutes in the morning I was like now being a Jew I was like how much does it cost don't worry you give me $1,000, I'll get you a good pair." I was like, "Oo, so I'll have two." He's like, "It doesn't end there. You got to put titan and you got to do this and you got to do that." I said, "Give me the basics. I don't need to read the whole thing." So, I packed my bags. I lived in New York at the time. I packed my bags. I said goodbye to all my life. And I moved to Chicago where nobody knows me. I'm with myself. I needed first of all to get out of my scene, get out of everywhere. And now just start putting everything in in check. And in the beginning I really didn't do much in regards to mit. I used to put fillin in in the morning. I used to say the morning prayers. I wouldn't mix meat and dairy. That was my kosher diet. And every now and then I would add a little thing there. Mainly the first year the change was start getting rid of the junk. Get rid of the drugs and get rid of all the criminal activities and change the mindset. You can't uh can't cheat anymore. can't slander anymore, can't lie anymore. That was the first year. And every now and then I will pick up on little mitzvah and and add it. But everything was very hard for me. And and and at some point I knew I have to observe Shabbat. I mean that I knew I didn't know what I need to do, but I knew there's going to have to be something going on there. And one time it come and tells me, you know, on Shabbat you have to do kouch. I was like, okay, what now? How many hours does that take? He's like, "No, no, it's a few minutes. Uh, you might like this mitzvah. You'll have to drink wine." Oh, now you're talking. Isn't this mitzvah three times a day, every day of the of the week? Can we do kouch whenever we want? So, he tells me, "No, you do." And he gives me the whole thing. And I was like, "Okay, that I like." I used to drive 60 miles from where I lived to the north side of Chicago to buy kosher wine and I would go to the kosher supermarket. I thought I'm likeishimon. I walked into the supermarket like shaking. I felt so observant. I would pick up I pretend I'm like looking for the certification scure. I bought a beautiful suit, beautiful kushka, beautiful tablecloth. I would make a whole thing out of this. So I would cook myself this beautiful Shabbat meal. Every Shabbat would come, put my kosher wine on the table, stand all happy with my kadouch. So one time a friend comes to visit me. And I told him, "It's Shabbat. We got to do kdouch." He's like, "Huh?" I told him, "Just shut up and say amen." Okay. So I get dressed in my suit, beautiful tablecloth, the wine, the meal, the whole thing. We do kydouch. We eat the meal and we wrap it up and we go out to a club. 4:00 in the morning, we're coming back from the club. So my friend tells me, "Listen, I don't really get what you're doing here because you know, you do kouch, but then you go out to a club. I mean, you decide how you do kydouch and stay home or you go to the club to go to the club." So I told him, "You don't understand obviously what I'm doing." He's like, "Well, explain to me, enlighten to me. I don't know what you're doing here. I said, listen, if you go now to a playground and you see a 10-year-old boy jumping up and down on the ladders on the slides and everything, you don't get excited. All the 10-year-olds do that thing. But if you take a 11-month old baby and he does two steps, 3 minutes, 4 minutes, 5,000 pictures on Instagram, every angle of that baby. Why? He walked first step. Never walked in his life. And it's not that he's just walking now. He just do does two steps and he falls. I told him in the eyes of Hashem, that's how I am. I'm that baby. I told him, you know what happens when I get in the car and I drive all the way up north to buy kosher wine. Hashem calls all his angels. Look, look, look, look, look, look what my little boy did. He drove 60 miles to buy kosher wine. He could have put the wine in the corner corner store. And look how he set the table real nice. And look at that beautiful copy bot. And did you see the beetle he did? He stopped his life for 5 minutes to thank me for existing to thank me for creating the world. I told him, "Hashem is completely ignoring right now the everything around. He's just focusing on that little act." Because I knew I cannot become super duper observant. But I was like, if I'm already doing something, then I do it all the way. I can't do all the mitzvah, but the ones that I do then I do it the right way and I do it the best way possible. The best wine, best everything. And that's how I live for about a year. In most of my lectures up until about a year ago, at this point I will I used to say somehow I got back to New York. A year ago I started to add that somehow how I got back to New York which uh in the previous lectures I would just say somehow I got back to New York. The reality is that since I led my life as a criminal then a year after my near-death experience FBI arrested me and for many many many many problems and things that I did I was facing 49 counts in a federal indictments. I sat two years in jail where I really did chouva. That's where I did chuva. Yeshiva with an air conditioning and rashi. I did chuva on the floor bleeding to death. It wasn't a fun experience. They tagged me as a terrorist. It was right after 9/11 and I was held in maximum security and it was very interesting time. I actually started recently 20 years. I didn't say nothing. after 20 years statue of limitation now I can say whatever I want to a certain extent but nevertheless that's the missing puzzle and for 20 years my wife was telling me you're not telling the right story the miracle is not how you came from the world above to the world below the miracle is how you came from Chicago to New York that's a miracle that's a whole different lecture but the reality is that the main part of by Chuva fortunately was not done in the regular way. Hashem gave me one year to kind of start the path and then one early morning feds and DA came to pick me up. That's a whole different long story to whole different lecture. We'll do that I guess next time I come or you watch whatever you can find online. But the fact was that I was facing an a very very difficult time when I got out of jail which was a miracle in itself. That's when I met my first rabbi who I met a friend really and that friend told me why don't you come tonight you know you look a little bit stress yeah I just got out of jail I'm just facing for years but that's okay is cool. So anyways, this friend invites me to this nice evening in Isa in Manhattan in the Upper West Side. And that night was a big room, like a little party, and I I really didn't feel like being there. And I I I wanted to leave, but I felt very uncomfortable just getting up and going. So I slowly slowly kind of maneuvered myself close to the door. And the second that I looked, the coast was clear. I ran out of the room and instead of going out of the room into the street, I went into the synagogue where a rabbi is standing long table and the rabb is telling me chev. And in my mind I'm like, how am I getting out of that? And I'm like, no, it's very late. I'm look how sleepy I am. I chef. Okay, I'm cheving tag. So the rabbi screams at me to sit down and I never heard Torah in my life in jail because they were kind of nice to me. So after begging and begging for 4 months they gave me kosher food which wasn't a good idea. I would sit in a in a in a courtroom with courtyard with 400 inmates and my food would come like a l al meal you know all with plastics. Now go explain 400 inmates. My my my food is coming in islands wasn't a good idea. Thinking about it to show everybody how Jewish I am. But I didn't care. I did chuba. I would walk around with my fillin on me. It cost me almost three times my life. But uh at some point they gave me a tan and kind of the version they give the Israeli soldiers. I don't know if you ever saw it. It's like this big and you need a telescope to read the letters. It's like this small. So for two years I read the Tanak backwards and forth, backwards and forward and my eyesight now I'm half blind reading this. But that night I never heard Torah and the rabbi opened his mouth. I was like me and after about a three-hour lecture, now you know where I get the long lectures from. Uh uh so after a long lunch I walk up to the ram and I'm like wow I introduced myself and I and I and I was very impressed and he said listen if you really like what I'm teaching why don't you come next Wednesday next Wednesday there's another event what is that a rerun he's like no another class he's like you didn't cover the whole Torah tonight there's more so I number one student every week I will go to his class and then after a few weeks he said friendly with him and he told me, "Why don't you come to uh my house? I see you're very interested in what I'm teaching. Why don't you come to my house? Every Thursday night, we learn from 12:00 a.m. All night we stay up and we learn Zoha till 6:00 a.m. Then we go to the mikvah, pray, and get ready for Shabbat. Why don't you join us?" I said, "You know what? What a coincidence. You know what that I I just checked my calendar. Thursday night from 12:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. is totally free. What a coincidence. I'll be there. So, I went on this allnighters and he, you know, we were like 10, 12, 13 guys there and he's teaching Zo and, you know, he's all he's talking about is spiritual worlds and souls and spir and all these cool stuff and and everything that he's talking about. I'm like, "Hey, I remember that." And then he would go into some description and in my mind I'm like that's not how it looks. So after a few weeks of these allnighters I said you know I think this guy is a complete cuckoo. Maybe I can tell him what happened to me. So I went to him. First person in the world I didn't tell anybody anything. I I I was like but anybody I will tell what I just told you will think I will complete that case. So I come and tell him, listen, you know, something happened to me a few years ago and and I think you are the candidate to hear about it. So he sits me down and he wasn't nice like you. He was like, no, no, no, no, no. Tens that. Anyways, I come to the end of the and I didn't tell it organized like I'm telling you. It was like pieces. He's looking at me with these piercing eyes and he's like a shut up. Translation is, "Are you crazy?" And in my mind, I'm like, "No, he thinks I'm crazy. Then all hopes are lost. If he thinks I'm crazy, but he didn't mean crazy." He's like, "Are you crazy? Hashem did such a miracle to you and you you don't do anything." You know, he he he ripped my shirt out of my dance. He freaked out. freaked out. Next day 6:00 in the morning, he took me to Moni to some yeshiva. Push me in yeshiva. Don't come out of here till I come and get you. [Music] I'm going in. 3 months pass. I'm still waiting for him to come and get me. He never came. The DA came, not him. But three months passed and I looked up to the heavens and I said to Hashem, "First part of the deal, right? You told me to become observant cuz really you have to understand now is the time to elaborate. I I was facing 40 years in jail. I had 49 counts in a federal uh court. This is not some dinky court. This is federal and all the counts were real. So you even if you remove two of them. Yeah. And for that they were demanding 40 years. And on top of that all the counts has had nothing to do with the drugs. In the hearing they were saying the prosecution we're still investigating the connection to drugs. You're still still investigating. And then on top of that they're like we're still connect investigating the connection to terrorism. not terrorism because I used to bring workers from Israel, legalize them illegally way in America and have them drive my trucks to transport the drugs that I used to move from one place to the other. Very simple math. So I wasn't in a good place and somehow after two years they approved bail and there was a reason for that but I walked out now the situation became worse. By the way, you have to hear the whole story. That is really the biggest miracle. But the point to take from that that I went out of jail. It was like a shock. In my mind, I'm going to sell whatever I had. I'm going to disappear out of the face of the earth. I'm not waiting for this. But the reality is it became much much worse. It wasn't a good situation. So, I didn't have much options. When I told my rabbi this is the first I told him about the near-death experience which he sent me to yes I yes weeks later when the situation with the feds became worse I told him by the way I have another little it's not something that I need to tell you and then when I told him that he gave me the the most annoying reaction it's a test Okay. But nevertheless, I knew that there's no other chance. The only way for me to get out of this situation only kadoshu can do. No lawyers, no money, no connection, no nothing. Only the kadoshbu can take you out of any situation that you are in and save you. So I knew that I have to become on Hashem's best side. So within about 3 4 months I was from zero to fully observant in a few months. I had a really good boot camp in jail. I came prepared to I'll do anything. So it was at that level but nevertheless so after 3 months I'm looking to Hashem and says first part of the deal. Now comes the second part of the deal which was very difficult because I had to go to a rabbi and tell him okay this is the resume what do I do how do you do how do you bring give back millions of dollars that you stole which that's what it was and how do you apologize or come to any types of conclusion with people that you physically attacked and assaulted and so many things how do you do for these things and I had So I went to a big rabbi and we sadly explained to me it was a long journey. A few months later after this I meet my wife which was like seeing a rose in the middle of a desert. A few months later we got married. A few months later we have a baby. Well, it wasn't really a few months. It was nine. But answer I'm married. I'm observant. I have a little baby. Look up to Hashem. I say I think number two I'm now comes number three. Start telling it to people. In the beginning I had a good crowd. I would tell the story in AIA. So everybody I had good crowd to listen. I'm coming to confirm what you're learning. But then I had to tell it to normal people. So somehow I got my first gig and sh a synagogue in Brooklyn full of bloodthirsty Israelism. They didn't give anything in the entrance because if they had what to throw at me, they would the whole night. Shakan, you liar. Leave me to. Who brought this guy? You can't even imagine. an hour and a half they're like bashing me, insulting me. You can't even imagine what they did to me. And in my mind, I'm like, and then now I'm going to have to deal with this all day long. Somehow I decided to continue all the way to the end. Came the end of the lecture, everybody was couldn't wait to leave. One guy came to me at the end of the lecture sweating telling me, "I believe every word that you say. What do I have to do?" Which I was like, "Ah, okay." Okay, one guy got it. Then that's enough. So from that point on, I started going from one synagogue to another school to a house to here to and telling I would come and give a seven-hour lecture giving detail after detail after detail. I would bore people to death. And then many years later, one time out of the blue, my very healthy young brother-in-law goes out for a jog, gets a heart attack, dies on the spot. My sister was in her 30s. I jump on a plane, come to Israel from the airport to the cemetery to from the cemetery straight to the room where they prepare the body. And I walk in, I see my si my sister crying. I see my brother-in-law on the bed. I pull out a book of Tim out of my pocket. I start reading taleim. And in with one eye, I'm kind of looking at the body. One eye looking at the tim. One eye looking at the body. And I'm looking at him. And I'm like, huh? He's like here. He's on the ceiling now. He sees me and he hears my prayers and he sees the letters of the taleim coming out of my mouth and forming. I remember that. Oh, and now they're taking him there. Now they're taking him there. Suddenly, I look and I'm like, I know where he is right now. Now, in this specific case, this individual wasn't the most observant Jew. Now, you can't judge a book by its cover because some people from the outside look very unobservant and the inside pure and holy and some people on the outside look very observant, but inside is a pile of junk. But nevertheless, in this specific individual wasn't the biggest Torah scholar in history. And in my mind, I understood I know where he's going right now and what they're doing to him and what he didn't come back. And I understood I understood something very powerful that it doesn't matter for me to tell you all these details. I can sit here now for another four hours and tell you many many details. It's not going to make any difference from the only reason that the entire experience happened to me. So I will change my way and I will become closer to Hashem and that's for me. So really all the details is none of your business. If you're interested, I'll tell you, but it won't do probably anything to your life. Hearing the details that changed my path. So why am I telling you this? Why do I come and tell you for 2 hours what happened? Because the fact is that each and every one of us come down to the world and we all have right over here an expiration date. Some people come to the world for 20 years. Some people come to the world for 50, 60, 80 years, but we all have an expiration date. Before you even came here, they know when you leaving. Most people, I believe, live their life 1% potential. That's it. They don't reach their potential. They don't do much with their life. They walk 60, 70 years on a conveyor belt. here and there they do a few good things and waste most of their life. And of course then the cycle begins. You don't do what you need to do in this world, they'll bring you back here. We're all incarnations. You're not here the first time. We're all here for many, many times. And we're here to finish unfinished business and mainly to finish what I didn't what I didn't do yet. Cuz trust me, if you would complete your purpose in this world, you don't come back. Once you reach your spiritual potential, what you're supposed to do in this world, that's it. Story is over. Which means that we all have what to do here. I can tell you that most people don't reach to their potential throughout their life. And not in their 20s or 30s, all their life, they go through 60, 70, 80 years of their life fulfilling maybe 2 3% of their purpose in this life. They're unhappy. Their life is not that successful as they would wish and kind of waste of time. That's most people unfortunately. Why? From the very f very simple fact what I told you in the beginning because very few people know how to look in the mirror and to choose to find the faults and to work on them. Very few people are able to look inside in them and understand any misery that I'm experiencing. It's my own actions. Hashem is not standing in shamim and looking at you and saying no soup for you. You're too young, I guess, to understand that. The older generation maybe will understand what no soup for you means. Go to Netflix and go look at Side. Maybe that will ring the bell. But nevertheless, for God, I'm talking to a young crowd. But doesn't stand in shm and looks at you and says, "Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I'll get my money for you." Do you really think that's what Hashem does in Shamim? No. But I can tell you for sure that he does, and that's going to happen in a few days, more to be precise, on coming this coming Monday. That's a very significant day on the calendar. Now many call it Shana the head of the year which doesn't make sense grammically. Technically it should have been called the beginning of the year. But Shana is not the beginning of the year. The first day of the month of Nissan is the beginning of the year. Therefore is called Hash the head of the year. What does it mean the head? Everything is included in the head. If you refer to the text that we prayed, then we're going to recite a very simple prayer and we say there what's going to happen this year. Hashem is going to decide who's going to live, who's going to die, who's going to be rich, who's going to be poor, who's going to choke, who's going to be die with a sword. Everything is decided. That's why it's called judgment day. And it doesn't matter who you are, observant, non-observant, it has nothing to do if you're Jew or non-Jew. The entire world is being judged. Animals too, vegetation too. Everything is being judged. Everything is decided on what's going to happen the entire year. How much money you going to make? If you're going to find your other half, how many kids you going to have? You know what's more significant that is decided on? What are going to be the challenges you're going to deal with for the next year? Because everybody has to deal with challenges. Challenges are basic steps for you to grow. If you take it as a challenge and you come with a bitter approach, then you will most likely fail on the challenge. But if you understand that the challenge that you're facing right now, that's your step to go higher. Then you find the creative way and the creative ways to deal with the challenge. And you don't get upset, judgmental, unhappy, blame the entire world. Of course, you just see the challenge. You understand I need to jump over it. And when I do, I grow spirit. That's it. Is decided what are going to be your challenges. How hard they're going to be. How hard you're going to have to work towards that challenge and if you're going to be successful or not. Can you imagine what can be decided in a few days? And again what I'm saying now don't look at me that sh is for observant people sh is for every living creature in this world Jew non-Jew observant no Hashem doesn't know Hashem you call hem in other names it doesn't matter at this point everybody is going to be judged now the question is what do you do with this information. You can leave the door tonight or for the viewers online, click the end button and go to sleep. And like Morpheus tells Neo, you take the red pill, the blue pill, you decide what you want to do. I can tell you already that you're not here because happen to be that you were in the area. All of you are here because Hashem invited you to come here because some of you weren't planning on being here. You didn't even know coming here. You just heard 3 hours ago that I'm here. Oh, I'm I'm coming, right? So maybe you got a WhatsApp message or a flyer or whatever, but really Hashem invited you to come here cuz Hashem wanted you to hear what I have to say. see the before and after and say, "Okay, 1 + 1 has to equal two." The question is, what do you do with this information? I choose not to give too much information about the near-death experience. It's a pretty early. We can probably do some questions and answers, and you can interrogate me if you want, if you wish. That's not the point. Well, the interrogation didn't start yet, but the point is not the details are not so important. I'm sure it's interesting. You're now at this point of saying I the details not important. What's important is what you do with the message. When I looked at my brother-in-law who passed away and I realized something very simple that as I told you, we all come down to this world with an expiration date right over here. You don't know that date. You will never know that date. It can be on tonight or in 40 years. The question is, do you live in fear? No. That's of course the answer. The question is, what do you do with that? I choose to look at it. If this is the situation, then how do I live my life? Do I complain, whine, look at everything in a negative way or every day is a blessing? Do I look at every moment of my life as a burden because I have to get I have to educate my kids. I have to deal with all sorts of challenges. this neighbor is driving me crazy and this guy's suing me and that guy's doing this and she's doing that and all day long I'm dealing with situations. I can either be extremely bitter and complaining about every situation on in my life or complete opposite. How do you wake up in the morning? Wake up in the morning with a smile on your face because you're happy to be here and you have a whole day of opportunities. Or you wake up in the morning with a phone in your hand, miserable and bitter because you're going to have to now go to work you can't stand, pay bills you don't even want to pay. You don't even have money to pay the bills that you don't want to pay. And and every opportunity in your life, boom, it explodes in your face. Nothing works out. And if if some things work out, then here's the how do you live your life. Now, you might have came in tonight thinking that I'm going to try to make you observant. That's your responsibility. I don't need to make you observant. You choose to be observant. Good for you. You don't choose to be observant. That's your problem, not mine. My goal is to make you see the end goal. That's at least my purpose because I know that most people they don't even see one one foot in front of them and that through being miserable, being unhappy, being unsuccessful, looking at everything in a completely wrong way. I don't know if you noticed that lately I have noticed that time is going very fast, extremely fast. Not normal fast. It's tomorrow's Thursday. Have you noticed we just have the l tomorrow is already Thursday time is like this. It's unbelievable. And you all naughty. So you all know what I'm talking about. You just finish Shabbat and before you know it, boom, it's already Friday. You know why? Because when you if you're looking at a sand clock, imagine a sand clock. When it's full, when you just turn it around, then the sand is all the way in the top. So since the pathway of the sand is this big, then you see just a little bit of sand going down. So you don't see the level going down. But when the level is all the way at the bottom and it doesn't have the width, it has it's very narrow, then you see the sand going fast down. Same thing. We're at the end. So up until now, time was normal. Now we're at the end. When I'm saying the end, right before the change, you can call it whatever you want. Mashia is going to come. Hashem is going to do his thing. So the time goes very fast. And everybody's noticing it. And when I'm saying everybody, and again, I always include everybody because I don't see if you with a yamaka and a beard then you are observant. If you're not with a yamaka and a beard, you're not observ. I don't see for me everybody's the same. So that's what I'm saying. Everybody feels that. But that's just has to come and strengthen you and to emphasize there's no time. Time is running out. Life goes like that. And before you know it, you signing back what you need to give back. Now is the question, what do you do with this information? Do you live your life under stress? or you completely ignore it or you live every day with a whole different outlook of life. Every day is an opportunity. Really, every day has thousands of opportunities because every second is an opportunity. You can either do something good, you can do something negative, you can do nothing. Most people waste 99% of their life like this. That's why I told you you're all addicted to your phones. And if you think I'm wrong, give me the phone for one week. Okay? Say goodbye to your phone for one week and I'll give and I'll give you my and I'll give you my 24-hour emergency phone number that you can call me in the middle of the night. Get on the phone. But most people waste their life. If you find yourself like this more than 5 minutes, you're one of them. You don't need to see more than 5 minutes of this junk. Same junk. It's not that you're getting educated. If you're watching something normal and you're getting educated, that's one thing. But when you're watching a 30-cond reel, you're not getting educated in nothing. Don't tell me any excuse. You don't get educated in 30 seconds. It's you being magnet to a screen and your life is being sucked. And that's one aspect out of many. Most people don't utilize the time. They don't use their time for positive things. They don't know how to use their life. They're constantly running around their tail. The message I believe you need to take from this room tonight is not if there's a god isn't a god. It's life after death. Not life after death. All this I I told you this whole thing is for me. What you need to take out of this door tonight and if you do then you gain everything is what do I do with my life? How do I use my life to the fullest potential? Can you really say I live my life to the fullest potential? I don't even know you. I can tell you that you're not even scraping 5% of your potential. We say that's what we say. If you're familiar with this verse, we say that every afterm the translation Abraham was a old person and he came with all his days and therefore Hashem blessed him with everything doesn't make much sense but when it says zaken he wasn't old zaken means old he wasn't old he acquired a lot of wisdom in Hebrew the word zaken means smart and not smart because he was born smart. Some people are born smart because he acquired the wisdom. That's first thing. You come to this world to learn to be educated and to grow. And Baba Yamim, what do you mean Baba Yamim? It doesn't make sense even grammically in Hebrew. The explanation is that every day of his life he lived to the fullest. Can you say on your life that you lived one day to the fullest? No. Probably not. Every day full every day was perfect day. Therefore, Hashem blessed Abraham with everything. You whatever you give out, that's what comes back. That's it. It's not that Hashem says, "I like you more. You're nicer. You're more attractive." Whatever you give, that's what you get back. That's how the system works. And it's not about the getting back. By the way, I the concern that I have is will I ever come to the day that I leave this world and I can look back and said I used it to the max. That's my concern. That should be your concern. Comes the end of the day. What is it? 10:00 at night. Are you happy with your how the day was for you? You did everything you needed to do today. No. Did you ever have a day that you sat at the end of the day and say, "Wow, what a day. I did so much." Most people don't. Most people come at the end of the day, they're like this. They're tired already. And you know why you're tired? Not because you're up for 18 hours. Because your nama is depleted. You're tired at the end of the day, not because you didn't sleep or you didn't eat. Food doesn't give you energy, by the way. And the proof to that is give a dead person an energy bar and let's see what happens. Nothing. So what gives the energy? The energy bar food? No. The nama the soul gives energy to the body. If you are tired physically it's your soul that is tired. If your soul is not tired, you're up. You don't go to sleep. I sleep in an average an hour or two a night because the soul is not tired. The body's not tired. The body can do very well with two hours, 3 hours, a little bit of food. It's all coming from the soap. Most people, unfortunately, and hopefully today will be a turning point for you, most people waste their day. And that's what you need to take from this entire encounter. How do I make sure my day is full full of what I need to do? And that way, I guarantee to you, you'll be happy. True happiness. You'll have peace in your heart. True peace. You're not going to be worried. You're not going to be disoriented or shalom disappointed. You everything is from Hashem. How can I be disappointed when Hashem is going to do something bad? Your entire outlook on life is completely different. And when you're like that and you're affecting your entire surrounding in the same energy, somebody told me the other day they saw me. I was now two months in America. I been did a big tour. Somebody saw me, spend time with me, tell me all day long you smile. Say, why wouldn't I smile? What do you want me to be like all day long? Like, of course, I smile because when you're truly happy, you smile. And you don't need a lot of money to be truly happy. A lot of people attribute money to to happiness. That's not that's what gives you happiness. Most people are miserable not because they have or don't have money or they have or don't have their spouse or what they want in life. They're unhappy because they just don't nourish their soul with what the soul needs. So with that said now I will roll the ball over to your side and tell you so what are you doing with this information? You are four five days before Shana where you can stand in front of the master of the universe. Doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter how close you are to Hashem or if you're not close at all. It doesn't matter. Now, the point here is not to look at Hashem and say, "I need this and I need this and I need that." I don't do that. I don't like that. I don't like standing in front of Hashem and say, "I need parasa. I want my wife. I need kids." Whatever she wants to give me, he will give me that anyways. I like more doing actions than asking for things. But I know for a fact that on Rosh Shah that's when Hashem decides everything. The mistake of most people is they think they just walk into Shah and trying and they going to impress Hashem. It doesn't work like that. You have to impress the whole then if you impress Hashem on the then on will give you what you need. Another thing to to to correct here. If last year wasn't so good for you, don't think it's that on lastm didn't bless you. I have a friend like that who came to me that was a few years ago and he came and told me you know last year on Shana Hashem didn't bless me well the year was wasn't that good. I hope next year Hashem will bless me with better blessings. So I told him, "You fool, Hashem gave you amazing blessings on Roshana. You just didn't bring them down and materialize them into the world. You think you sh $5 million check?" No. He gives you all the blessings you need on Shah. You need to materialize it from the spiritual level into the physical level throughout the entire year with your behavior. And if you don't do that, don't expect to see a blessing in your hand or in your life. So right now if you need to summarize everything that I'm saying you are standing a few days you came on dime because if you would hear this message a minute beforeh can't do much but when you're hearing this message hopefully you heard this message a month before shah but let's say assume you're hearding it tonight then you still have Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday Monday to do chuva and to do chuva is not only looking forward is looking backward backwards, it's mainly looking backwards because if you know how to reverse situations by aligning certain things, then the forward will be fine. And that requires a very big person. It requires from you to look in the mirror and with a very humble way to recognize where you failed. You need to be humble. You have to have a lot of humility. move all your ego aside and say she she did that and he took me and he started and that's good for you need to if you want practically what to do is you have four five six days grab yourself find yourself 10 20 minutes half an hour and look at yourself and start asking yourself a lot of question am I a good son am I a good daughter am I honoring my parents and I'm giving them the right honor and respect fact they brought me to this world. Am I a good husband? Am I a good father? I go out of myself look how am I am I? I don't ask my kid, am I a good father? I go I jump out of my box and I look and I try to go into my kids' minds and I ask myself, am I a good father? Maybe I can get better. Maybe I'm a maybe I'm not doing that great. Maybe I think I'm a great husband. Maybe I'm not. But I constantly know how to look at myself and to find where I fail. Not to put myself down, to know where to refine myself, where to change, where I need to change. And I don't think Hashem is going to come and tell you change. Hashem wants you to figure out by yourself where you're not 100% and on that work and that change in your life. And when I told you before the live looking for opportunities, then this is an opportunity for you. And why is that an opportunity? Because Hashem wanted you to hear that. And with because he invited you here, he also going to give you the the power to go out of your m and you can do that in a few days in Shah. All you need to do is figure out what are the things that bother me in my life. Make yourself a little list. What bothers you in your life. So one person will write bothers me to the right. I don't have money. I can't make money. Okay, that common denominator with half the world if not 90%. Another person will say, "It bothers me that I can't find my other half. I want to meet my other half, build a beautiful home." You know, on the other side of town, a person will say, "I can't wait to get rid of my other half. How do I do that?" The point is that we all have great wishes and we all can also see where in life things are not working out and where does I where do I need to put more of effort and what do I need to do to find true peace in my heart to be focused on what I need to do to have very clear goals in my life do I go here do I go there all that is all depending on you nobody's going to do that for The way to do it is only when you create a connection with the master of the universe. Doesn't matter in which form you do it at this point. The only way to do it, the only way to receive it is if you have the connection with the master of the universe. And the element that needs to be constantly in front of your face is that you don't have much time to change. The change has to be imminent today because forget about now how long you have to live in this world. That's not the attitude how I I don't live like oh one day I'm going to die. I don't count my days here. I count what I do while I'm here. That's a whole different attitude that if you need to take at least one thing out of tonight is the attitude of don't waste your time. Most people waste your time. Most people literally have no time management skills. They are very unefficient, very unproductive. If they were just focused on what they need to do, you would do 500 times more than you do every day. Now, I see most people and it's not that you can't the right tools, it's people are too stupid and arrogant to understand that they're wasting their time. And I told you the first indication is how many how many minutes a day you're holding your phone. That should be your first indication. And if you use your phone for something positive or just junk, if you're more than 5 minutes like this, you you have a problem. You don't know how to manage your time. So why am I saying that? Because the the the main blessing is to know how to get the most out of the little time that you have. How do you do that? Then you have to cherish every moment that Hashem gave you. And instead of crying and whining and complaining about things that won't don't work out, look at all the great things that Hashem is giving you. It's very simple to see all the good things in your life. It's very hard on the other way on the other hand to try to see it in a completely different way. It's very easy to complain all day long. I don't have this. don't have that. Instead of doing that, look at all the good things that Hashem does in your life. I don't need to give you too many examples. The other day we were going through some and it wasn't a convenient situation. Me and a few group of people wasn't a convenient situation and everybody was complaining can't breathe, it's too hot, it's uncomfortable. And you know what the first thing that came up in my mind? I was like, you know, there's hostages sitting in Aza, they don't have air, they don't have water, they don't have they didn't see light, they're being tortured, held in, and you have you complain cuz you're a little bit sweating. You complain because you're something minor happened in your life and other people's lives are in a completely different place where you holding right now. Do a reality check to your life and very quick that should change your attitude thanking three times a day. So it's all how you look at things. Now with all this information, I know I threw a lot of information is not what you're doing at the end. Not what you do. You can leave the door or turn the video off and nothing changing your life. So then I can really certify you with wasting your time. If you go out of 2 hours, you sat here now for 2 hours. Nothing changed today. You're the master of wasting time. Sit home and watch some stupid Netflix series. And why bother coming here? But you're already bothered to come here. That's already you are already 90% ahead of most people because I'm telling you already very few people are willing to look in themselves, see the faults and start doing an action. And if we need to conclude the entire night, that's what you need to do. You're not perfect. You need to look only at yourself, not look outwards. And how can I become a much better person that I can put on my list that I'm a better son, I'm a better husband, I'm a better worker, I'm a better employer, I'm a better everything. And the only one who gains from that is you. You're not doing a favor to anyone with anything that you do. So my wish for you is that that you are going to internalize the words that I'm saying and understand that don't look at the world as a negative place and why Hashem brought me here and why am I suffering and why is this and what look at how much potential and how much opportunities Hashem is giving you. And every day that he opens your eyes, hopefully you say that Hashem has set for you a day of opportunities and you just need to be ready to grab the entire world. So I wish I hope that my words are not falling on deaf ears. I know they're not. I know you all you know how I know it's not falling on deaf ears. Most of my lectures people nod a lot. I don't see much nodding right now. So, either you're completely shocked or either you're very tired and you can't wait for me to leave or you're getting it. When people nod, I'm like, they're not getting it. >> No. No. Cuz when you nod, you're like, "What the hell is he talking about?" Yeah. Yeah. I find actions much more stronger than words. Our sages say the action is what counts. You can nod a lot. You can in theory agree but what are you doing with it? So the tool that I can give you with is talk is cheap. The action is what counts which means that you already have to in your mind now think of the action that is going to be the anchor cuz right now you're happy and excited and probably a little bit inspired because we're sitting here in a closed room. 2 minutes after you leave this door, 90% of the inspiration will go out out because Amalik is standing outside waiting for you to cool you down. That's his job. Now you are a little bit excited. Give it 2 minutes outside this door. All the air goes out. You're not going to be that excited anymore. You need to keep the excitement with a thought. Okay, I'm going to do A, B, and C or one thing even. That's going to be your anchor. And that thought has to be what action am I going to do that is going to completely change my life. One little act that I'm willing to take on myself that I know that act will change my life. I know the acts that I took on myself in my life that were turning points because in any situation in your life you are you can do this or you can do that. But what do you choose? Do you choose good? Do you choose bad? You have these choices 50 times a day. The only way to make sure that you're doing the right choice is if you know how to look at yourself and find all the faults in a very I will call now responsible way. No OCD just making a quick analysis. So hopefully you will take that and leave the door tonight and make a very quick calculation what needs to be done in your life. I can guarantee to you that when you do one little change in your life then you invite on yourself many many blessings of Hashem that's what Hashem wants from you he just wants refinement not looking for anything if you if you think you need to achieve anything specific Hashem says I don't need you to I have everything Hashem only wants you to grow spiritually and refine yourself that's what Hashem wants and at the end of the day with all with with put everything aside You do that, you find true happiness. You going to really be happy. True happiness with the stuff that you want, without the stuff that you want. So I'm going to wish you great success that now when you start hopefully your new path, you see things in a completely different way. You understand what you need to do. And now there's no better time to do that. Starting before Shah you can start a whole clean slate. Just imagine people wait for Shana a whole year and now you have it a few days from now. This is like I I can't even compare it to anything. I was about to say a Jewish Black Friday. This is not black and not a Friday. You sh you set your entire year. Now don't go into asking for money and I need to have a lot of money and I need a nicer car and I need this and I need that and ask for superficial things. I only ask Hashem just give me what I need to become a better person. That's it. I just want to become the better version of myself. Whatever Hashem thinks is good for me to to to do that and he will give it to me anyways. If I need to have more money or less money, I need to be married, I need to be single, it doesn't matter. I need to have my target. My target is I want to utilize every day of my life. I want to come to the end of the road and say every day was not wasted. Every day I have a pile of good things that I did. That's what you need to taste. You need to wake up in the morning and understand today I can pile my life with good things. I can now walk out to the street, look to the person and smile, say good morning ding or look to the same person and not smile and have a bad thought, bad feeling in my head. Okay, you chose where where how you starting your day. Now it's all up to you how you walk out of the room. That depends on you. you do the right decision, I guarantee you, you'll see huge blessings in your life. Hashem gives you the blessings. You just don't know how to materialize it into this world. Now, I gave you a few ways how to materialize it. But it all depends on you. You can grab an opportunity, leave the door tonight, inspired, focused, and say, "Today, tomorrow, the next day, that's what I need to refine. This is what I need to change." Nobody's expecting you to be the next. By the way, Shem is just expecting to you to be honest and honest with yourself that when you make a mistake, you can say, "I made a mistake. I shouldn't have done that." And if it's in front of a person, you turn around right away, apologize. I didn't mean to. Or whatever it is is just check yourself out all day long and do the right thing. And Hashem loves honesty. Hashem hates the complete opposite. It says in the Torah, it doesn't say to anything that is a lie run away from. It doesn't say run away from idolatry or run away from immorality or permiss from anything that is a lie. Run away. That has to bring you to the understanding how severe something so little can be. But it's not about you lying to other people. It's you lying to yourself. That's the major thing. That's the key here. Most people themselves, I can't do it. It's too hard. I don't want to. It's not for me. I don't agree with it. You lie to yourself. You be honest with yourself. Then Hashem gives you all the tools that you need to do to be successful. So, I'm going to take the opportunity to wish you all and may bless you with an amazing year. And this year you should uh set your goals and achieve them. And this year should bring great prosperity and success both in your spiritual growth and in your physical path that you need to walk on. And I wish you all only the best you happiness. Find your other half. Build beautiful homes. But the real ultimate blessing that I can give you is value every moment in your life. Cherish every second in your life because every second that passes in your life, you will never get it back. And every second in your life, you can choose to do good or you can choose to do bad. All depends on you. You choose to do to do good, you'll be smiling all day long. You choose to do bad now, you deal with your own children that you cooked for yourself. That's it. Value your time. Value your your life. Value every little thing that Hashem gives you. I guarantee to you at the end of the day you'll be very very satisfied, successful and happy. So I wish you again. Thank you so much for organizing the event. Thank you Rabbi, [Applause] [Music] what we should do. Where we should be going, what we should more >> really the entire month of ill is when you need to prepare and sh is when you if you prepare the right way then sh is where blesses you with that you're asking the tips to do shah I would suggest that before sh okay today is kind of the end of the day okay so let's say today can still achieve a lot. It's only 1000 p.m. But let's say ignore today. You have Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and almost Monday. You have five days to impress Hashem. I'm sure you heard the term the king is in the field during I asked myself for many years, I don't understand that. Why is the king choose to be in the field? you know, field is dirty and there's a, you know, a lot of rats and snakes and it's not a nice place to field so much. And uh, if I would choose, if I would be a king, I wouldn't go to the field. I would choose probably something a little bit more regal. Maybe a vineyard. Why a field? Or maybe you should choose the Hilton. The reason why it says the king is in the field because the field is a place of hard work and a field is a place that you plant seeds and if you plant seeds the right way and you water the field it will grow produce. So you need to to plow and saw and and and prune and and plant but without Hashem's blessing nothing happens right you need the rain. When it says that the king is in the field on during ill, it's not that I'm I can meet Hashem because he went out of his chamber. I'm now being observed. I have to go and work hard where I plow the land and I plant my seeds. But if I do the work the work the right way, the king is in the field. He's now looking at me. He sees if I'm on time, if I come to work, how hard I work, what's the effort that I'm putting, if I'm a good worker. It's not about me meeting the the king. It's the king now looking at me where I'm required to work. I'm required now in a lul to work to impress Hashem. Say, listen, I I made I maybe didn't do that greatly last year, but you know, this is what I'm willing to do. This is my capabilities and for next year, that's where I want to be. So, for the f first next five days, you need to be super Jew. You need to show to show Hashem that's what I want not to come to Hashem you know this year I really want to get married this year I really want to get Hashem knows if you're single or not so you don't have to tell him he has access to he knows if it says if you single or not you don't have to nag him I need to find my other half he knows by the way you also have access to your bank account he knows how much money you don't have so you don't have to waste your time and saying I need money. I need a husband. I need this. He knows that. Ask for Hashem. Give me more clarity to see the right path to walk on. Give me the patience not to be so judgmental to every situation in my life. Give me the the the clarity and the wisdom to choose the right things in my life. So pray for the right things. But what you need to do in the next couple days is show Hashem what you're willing to do in order for him to give you that great blessing you want. Because if you don't convince Hashem what you can do, you didn't prove it before that. If you want any blessing in your life, the way Hashem works is first of all, you're going to take from your life what you really want. So if you're single then Hashem took away your marriage life so to say to this point he wants you to yearn for that he wants you to want it and when you get it he wants you to appreciate for that if you find your other half right like that or if you have your business you make money right like that everything is instant you don't have any gratitude cuz you didn't complain you didn't whine you didn't work hard but Hashem tells you work hard then I'll give you the blessing the point that you need to take from what you're asking I want a blessing in my life. It has to come with a sacrifice. So in the next five days, what I is decide in my mind what's going on in my mind is what are the sacrifices that I'm willing to make and to put out the next year because I want to be going on the right path. I'm not doing any conditions. I'm not asking Hashem for anything. Like I told you, Hashem knows exactly what you need. The only thing that I asking I say Hashem give me what I need in order to perform my purpose in life. If it's a lot of money that I need, don't give me a lot of money. If you think I don't need money to fulfill my purpose, I don't need money. I just need to pay my bills. The point is what you need to do in the next couple days is to come to terms is what are you willing to sacrifice in your life? And the only way to get closer to Hashem is through sacrificing. That's why we sacrifice a lot of offering. It's not about being barbaric and putting an animal on on an altar. The sacrifice in Hebrew is called which means that when I do something comes from the word, which means I sacrifice something in my life that Hashem brings me closer to him. That's it. So the next couple days, you need to figure out what are you willing to sacrifice in your life. Your sleep. Maybe you should sleep less and wake up in the morning and pray. That's a good sacrifice. or maybe sacrifice your free time and instead of being five hours on Instagram, maybe do something productive in the world, something positive. So in the next couple days, just figure out what are the sacrifices that you're willing to do in order to be good with Hashem, not for you to this is not a bargaining. I'll do this so you can give me that. By the way, if you do that, it won't work for you. I know people say, "I'll do X so I can get that." do bargaining like this with Hashem, you're not going to get nothing. Hem is going to give you what you need, what you want. You just need to be fine and good with Hashem. So the next couple days, you focus on a kind of impressing Hashem. This is what I'm willing to do. If you want to go to the next step and you feel that the next thing that's going to open blessing in your life is about prayers, then in the next couple days, show up how you know how to pray. Or if you're saying, "No, I want to learn more Torah. I'm going to dedicate what? Two hours a week to learning Torah." Then show Hashem already now. Are you doing that? So now is the days that we impress Hashem because Hashem is in the field. But on Shah is just literally praying, observing the holiday. Read the as much as you can. And the reason for that because you you're being judged. So I wouldn't recommend necessarily to go to sleep or to sleep till 4:00 in the afternoon. Uh on Shah you are facing judgment. So I can tell you as a very experienced individuals that spend many many hours in courts that when you're standing in front of the judge in real world all the criminals are dressed in suits. Have you noticed all the criminals they come to court in suits? You weren't wearing a suit. never in your life by coming to you think now that a $150 suit is going to change the Jewish how they thinking of you. Oh, he wore a suit. Let him go. So now it's time for you to impress you. How would you impress a jury and a judge in if you were judged with something? You're getting a ticket. You like this, you know, standing in front of a judge that the most can give you is a $1,000 ticket. So just that you understand on you're being judged. I know it sounds a little bit harsh but that who cares if it's harsh or not. That's the reality. So you have 48 hours to understand that the heavenly courts with Hashem himself is judging you what you're doing. So at least those two days be the best you can. Be patient with anybody around you. Don't be judgmental. Don't be harsh. Be nice. to be hospitable, charitable, forgiving. Why? Cuz uh you kind of want to bring yourself to the same that that's how you're going to be looked upon. So my short version of the recommendation are five days to impression. Uh one thing that I can tell you that the next coming Shabbat, it's the last Shabbat of the year. Whatever you do with this Shabbat will be a very convincing part to Hashem. Because if you observe Shabbat to the fullest, then hopefully you had 51 Shabbat in the last year that you did great. Uh I can tell you already that most people are not that great with Shabbat. Even if they're observe Shabbat, they're missing a lot of points. So you have one Shabbat now to show Hashem that's what I'm willing to do. That's how far I'm willing to take it. So another recommendation this Shabbat make it the best Shabbat you can which means you pray three times a day you eat three meals you do your prayers you do whatever you can because the zah says whatever you do on Shabbat blesses the next week if Shana is included in that week that whatever you do on Shabbat it's going to bless the entire next week. So my short recommendation in the last five days that you have impress Hashem and it's not about excuse my language kissing it's about showing to Hashem and again you're the right mind frame I let how I look at it and hopefully that will be the example I'm coming to Hashem by saying okay five days is sh I want now to grow spiritually to a much higher level and me looking back in my last year I see where I lack I see where I failed. I see where I could have done much better. I'm talking about myself right now when I'm doing my account. I look back in the last year and I say okay in this department I could have done much better in this I did very well but this in this aspects of it could have been done better in this department. When I'm saying department saying let me use other words me and praying three times a day. Okay, it could be better. The prayers could be more focused. I could have make it much more my business to be in a minan, etc., etc. Okay, let's go another department. How am I how am I as a father? Am I a good father? Can I be a better father? Can I spend more time with my kids? What am I educating my kids? How am I utilizing my time with them? After all, Hashem gave me kids. This is not that I'm like, "Okay, here food and go to school." Hashem gave me a soul to take care of. This is not something that I need to just uh bathe, dress, clothe and say people. You know what I mean? So I look at everything. How can I become a much better person? I'm not looking like oh sh I can pray. I can make a lot of money. I see the people who come once a year to the synagogue give a $15,000 donation and they think that's it. They covered everything for the rest of the year. You think you you fool Hashem. You don't Hashem. So when I look at Rosh another opportunity, I don't look like my year was good, my year was not good. I don't feel I was blessed. I was it's not even the it's not even on the menu for me is like okay I want to grow there. That's my purpose. My purpose is not how much money I have or how much physical achievements I made in this world. My only purpose in this world is how am I growing spiritually? I want to be here and then I want to be here and then I want to be here. That's it. Everything around is just elements that are helping me fulfill my purpose. So if I'm not focused on my purpose, what are you doing in this world? I know that most people don't even know, they don't even have the slightest idea what is their purpose. That's a whole different thing for you to to learn. But my focusing for the next couple days is yeah in a kind of a childish and selfish way. I'm here to impress Hashem in the next couple days. Whatever I got comes Shah just know that you are being judged. The only way what you can do on that judgment day that's it. whatever you didn't do about Sh. But don't think you're going to buy a nice dress and walk into Shana and say a few praise and give $25 donation and be like and here I'm dipping the honey into the the the apple and the honey and you have to understand you're being judged. So on those 48 hours you want to do whatever you can to sweeten the judgments. You can do that through prayer and you also do that with how you deal with other people. Of course, we you want to fulfill the mitzvot of shah which means to hear the sha and everything but just internalize that whatever you set on shah do it the right way it will stick for the whole year. If you switch, you make that switch in your mind during Shana this year I want to do A, B and C. I don't like calling it resolutions because that never works but you can use that date. It has a very strong energy that whatever you set in your mind it will stick. So in the next couple days you need to prepare yourself for this special day. Whether it's preparing yourself to go shop for new clothes, you have nice new clothes for and of course the food that you need to eat and whatever prayers you need to recite and that you you need to say to yourself and then next week I have two days 48 hours where I can uh set my entire year with everything that I need. What needs to be done in that? Then you you take your time whether you need to do it half an hour a day or 5 hours a day. Needless to say, you want to pray. You want to introspect of all the things that you feel that you need to change, get better at your life. I like working with lists. I like writing to myself, what are my goals for the next year. After I looked at the failures of last year, I like setting goals for the next year and saying, next year I want to achieve A, B, and C. One column is my spiritual goals. I want to become closer to Hashem, more learned, more humble, etc. And then my physical goals. So it's a very very special time of the year and to also understand Roshana is just the beginning you have three weeks of festival that's the time really that you kind of filling all the reserves like you're going on a journey you go on a journey you pack food you pack water you pack supplies you're thinking most people when they go on a journey they take a few things and they live. I now came back from a two months journey in the United States. Okay, this is a tour in the United States. Two months. Now there's two options how I leave to the store. Pack my bag and leave or plan very well before that. How much clothes do I need? Where am I going to sleep? Where are we going to eat? Where are the lectures going to be? What am I taking with me? I'm going to be not home for 2 months. When you go on a week vacation, you don't need much. You look two months. Wait a minute. I'm going to need more stuff. Same thing. That's Shah. You plan what you taking for the next year. I need more prayers. I need more Torah. I need more deeds. Where am I lacking? What am I not doing? What do I want to do? That's a perfect time. When Hashem sees you doing that genuinely, then I can already tell you that the year will look completely different. You need to understand you're setting everything. And how you going to conduct your life in the next year will determine how you pulling down that blessing that Hashem gave you on Shah. If you don't do that, you're not going to materialize the blessing that you got. Therefore, Shah will hold it as one of the most important days of the year. And it's not a day, it's two days. She gave us even a bonus instead of one day, two days. Two days to pray. So take the day in the right measure. And again, it doesn't matter how observant you are. I know I know a lot of people say, "Well, I'm not that observant." So it has nothing to do if you're observant of the Torah, the mitzvah or not. It has nothing to do with it. Doesn't have to do if you're Jewish or not. It has to do that you are a creature of just know that in these two days you can set the entire year forth. And not only that the preparation for these two days which is about four five six days again you need to apologize to people go to apologize for whatever you even if you are the right one bring peace between any argument you owe people money now's the time to pay anything wrong fix it now is the time to fix everything not because you're trying to impress Hashem because that's the right thing to do and in many of the cases is you think you're right, but you're not right. And you the question you need to ask yourself is what is the right thing to do and everybody has somebody in their life that they they they can apologize for whatever it was and if you can great but make yourself an account I don't want to leave leave any loose ends no open doors that's why on the morning of sh we do we do the nullification of vows because all year long I promise things I promise things to pe to people and I promise things to hashem and I promise things to myself and I don't do half of it. So, it's very important week now that you organize all your thoughts. I do everything with notes cuz it's easier to to manage it. But yeah, you want to do it like a business owner, an account. How was my behavior the entire year and all the pros, cons, everything that you can become better, remove, I always write myself all these little things that I wish I could get rid of from my life. And sometimes it's small things, but doesn't matter. You want to get rid of junk. So that's a lot of tips for five days. But I would take these five days the right way. Invest in your spiritual growth. Take your time to be with yourself. Talk to Hashem. Talk to yourself. Look inside yourself where you be can become a much better person and pray for Hashem to help you do become that much better person. Don't waste your prayers on money and nonsense and uh the things that you think that you need. Hashem wants you to make money. He will give you money. Don't worry. Don't run after whatever whenever listen to the rule. When you run after something, you'll never get it. That's how it works. You don't run after anything. Hashem is going to give you what you deserve and what you need. And if Hashem decides that you don't need this right now, okay, move it on. Next. So take these few days very very seriously. You can achieve a lot and uh I would highly highly recommend to to do whatever you can in these few days to kind of organize your entire life. Make yourself a nice good road map for the next year and pray for Hashem to make you successful. You had a question. >> Thank you very much for a very very inspiring speech. I wasn't planning on coming and about 20 minutes before my good friend Ali mentioned there's this there's this rabbi who's coming he has an interesting story still I was like uh and then Rabbi Hill messaged me and are you coming okay and I'm very very glad I came just to go back to your to your personal story I have two questions you've been on a lot of travels and met a lot of people have you met anyone else who has shared a similar experience to you that's So that's the first question. And the second question is is that you spoke about when your brother-in-law had died and the words of the So it sounds like you've had after this experience more spiritual experiences in your life. Do you experience those regular basis? And also on that note, have you ever gone back had an experience where you went back to the place where you came back from? >> Wow. So the answers are very very short and to the point. Uh just remind me again in the order. The first one >> have you met someone? So I I have been speaking for over 20 years all over the world and I can say that almost every lecture somebody catches me at the end and tells me I had something similar to that each one to their extent. So I met needless to say thousands that had a near-death experience. Each one to some they just hovered over their body and some people uh extreme. So in the last 20 years I met many. The second question that you ask I'm just going to answer yes. And the third question I will answer yes. Six years ago, I I almost died again. I got very very sick sick six years ago. I tried to remove all my tattoos. I got infected and I found myself again half dead in the ICU with a very similar experience. Uh you can find this encounter online too. But uh but the answer is yes. Uh nothing is done voluntarily. Let's put it this way is the one who runs the show. But I believe that the second that you reach to a level that you accept in your life in a certain way then everything in your life you see that way. So, I don't know, maybe uh maybe I'm the I'm the only defect, but I believe that when you make room for Hashem in a certain way, which means 100% nullification to Hashem, then you see everything in this world completely different and then of course you buy yourself much more spiritual encounters in a different level. But you have to be a vessel for that. And mainly is how much room you're willing to make for Hashem in this world. And that's that can take many many years to master. How to bring yourself to a place of humility that Hashem now is more obvious. The best one who knew how to do it is Mosher Rabenu of course. And it says on him he was the most humble person saying in other words how did Mosher Rabb reach such high levels by humility and it wasn't he was somehat he just knew how to humble himself in front of Hashem that in ratio he was a zero and Hashem is 100 in our life I'm assuming and then Hashem then that mean that means that Hashem is not full in my life. When you know how to make space for Hashem, I believe any person can live this life in that way that you see things that we'll call it now. But uh it all boils down to how much room you giving Hashem. >> Yes. >> 9 years ago, the person who told me that you were going to be here tonight sent me your video of your story and said, "Please watch." And uh 3 days later, I got confidence. I was forced to brought to your apartment at 1:30 in the morning and meet you in person. And I had the question then. I want to bring it up again. When you as part of your story, you didn't mention it this time, but when they showed you what your life would be, you said that they showed you your wife and your kids. And I asked you when you met your wife, did you know it was your wife? And you said not only that, but when we have our kids, she said, "Don't tell me if it's a boy or a girl." Right? is that that's good for Jake. I think that also reinforces the validity of the story as much as when you woke up next and do all these things. I think that's a pretty powerful thing. >> Once I used to uh try to validate the story till I figured out I don't need to if somebody wants to uh believe good you choose not to also good. So once I used to come with all the proofs to prove that I'm not lying. At this point I don't need to prove that I'm not lying. If I think I project enough honesty that most people that need to believe believe and I know that in every encounter that I go there's always going to be the ones in the crowd that are like >> well you met first. >> I saw her from across the room. I saw her from the other room. >> I part of right >> the night that I went what I mentioned before to and I went out to the party to the sh then I saw her from the other side of the room and it was like you know like a crowd of people everybody moved and then I saw her and it was then somebody introduced us and I'm like huh so but that's one thing out of many uh and that's what I saw my entire I saw like main parts like I saw my son's brito I have four boys so I saw I remember very clearly seeing the bre and my wedding certain certain things like that and other encounters and other parts of uh of my life and the thing is that in I never came and uh the only that I had this opportunities and my wife would train and she would be like what are we having and I was like we're having no don't do me doing it. So, but everything it was exactly but again maybe in the beginning of the the journey I needed validity to valid I don't need I don't uh I remember many many details in the first let's say few years it was all like pretty cool that everything is actually coming true but it took time first time my wife was pregnant you know the whole pregnancy she was like what are we having? And I'm like, I'm not telling you. And then I I I don't I manufacture alcohol, but I don't like so I don't drink. I don't like drinking. Uh once a year usually I drink a lot and it's not pur. It's usually on that's my birthday. So usually I drink to a point that they mop the floor with me. So uh the first that I was married I I drank for the whole year and then you know so then my wife took advantage of the situation. She was like what are we having? I'm like we're having a girl. So, so it needed a few kids to prove to my wife that every time, every shot is is exactly what it is. But, uh, what you're saying, not that I'm trying to be, uh, non nice in saying that, but, I don't need to prove myself to anyone. I I need to prove to Hashem. That's the only thing I need to prove to saying it only in a nice way in front of people. I know when I sit in front of people a lot don't believe. I'll give you an example. I was now in a in this tour. Uh I came to one of the cities and I shared the story of my arrest, how I lived my life. That lecture which is very very extreme. When you hear it, it sounds completely that I'm still on drugs. So because it sounds not normal when I look back at my life I look at I'm like and b when I'm sharing a lot of the details a lot of it is extreme to a point that you're like ah I can't do that. So in one of the lectures this guy comes to me at the end of the lecture and he tells me I got to apologize to you. I'm like, "Okay, go ahead." And he tells me, "I'm sitting in this lecture and you start talking and you start saying how you were this and you did this and you do that and in my mind like what this guy is, what a liar." And he's sitting in the crowd looking at me and he's like, "What a charlatan. What a phony." And he's like building up and he's like everything that I say he's like, "No, no chance it's real." At some point he was so upset and he calls his friend who's an FBI agent and he tells him, "Can you run a name for a second?" So he gives him gives him my name. The guy calls him back and this is all in the middle of the lecture. And the friend, his friend who's an FBI agent calls him back and says, "There's so much, you know, this guy, I don't even I don't even know what to start sending you." He said, "I'll send you one thing." And he sent my indictment. and he told me I couldn't believe I marked you as a complete liar like a complete phony and like and first of all when he told me a few details I told him how do you know that there's no chance that you this is this is not public records the only way for you to know what you just said is if you have somebody from the inside he tells me yeah a friend of mine is a federal agent so what are the odds that this guy is sitting in the crowd now he got his proof how many thousands sat in the crowd and didn't get their proof. So I'm not coming to lectures like you know with the books okay here's the proof here's the camera here's the picture you want to believe you want you don't want to believe your problem one day you'll face the reality and be like ah I see he was talking the truth so I'm not in here to try to convince anybody that I tried to do 20 years ago now after 22 years of I don't need to convince anybody at this point the only one I need to convince in anything is Hashem there's a lot of validity when I you know a lot of people ask me in this specific lecture you just said that you took a lot of drugs how do you know it's not a hallucination the whole thing first of all I did enough drugs to know what's a hallucination and what's not a hallucination okay uh that's first of all not I'm trying to sell myself as the as the M. But I was high on drugs for about six years straight. I don't think there was one day in those six years that I wasn't high. And I wasn't high on marijuana. I was addicted to cocaine, to crystal meth, to LSD. I would drink LSD like you drink water. That was my drug, LSD. So I know it's a high and I know it's not a high. for myself and again I never needed to prove anything to anyone when I came to the first yeshiva that I learned to and I would tell the the encounter it wasn't organized like how you hear it that came in order I would just throw oh I remember this I remember that the first rabbi that I met in the first yes is yeshiva that I learned was genius rabbi and every time I would tell him a scene of what I member in a very raw way. What you getting, what you got tonight is refined and detailed. And the beginning was all raw. Everything that I would tell him, he would go to the bookshelf, pull out a book. Usually it would be either a or open the book and says, "Listen, what you describing? Look, it's written exactly here." Now, once or twice, maybe 50 times. What are the odds? Now if I would live grow up in Benbak. Okay. So you grew up in yeshiva. It's in your mind. I grew up in the most secular schools you can imagine. Never heard a word of Torah in my life. What are the odds that my hallucination is going to be 100% parallel to the Torah? My hallucinations were not about things in the Torah. We're about everything but the Torah. So my val validation is like you don't hallucinate on things that you can find in a Zoho written 2500 years ago but through a detail. So in the beginning I got my proof what I needed to know. Besides I didn't need proof. You know when Hashem touches you you know what touched you. You don't need proof. You don't need validation. You don't you have a spiritual scar that you know I know what touched me. So but then again I'm in the market of convincing. So once I tried to come with all the proof why am I right? Till I figured out you know what speak the truth. That's going to be the vibration that people pick up on. That's it. So I follow what they told me. Don't add anything. Don't remove anything. speak our 100% honesty. The vibration that comes out of my nama is the honesty. So 99% n 99% of people believe. They don't have the doubt because that's what I project. I don't need to come with the proof. Somebody once told me bring the girl that was with you in the cab. Well, I tried looking for her in Facebook. I could find her. Well, go bring the the the the medical reports. I don't need to come and come to a lecture with medical reports. You choose to believe you want your eternity. You choose to doubt. Hold on. She's waiting patiently. Yes. Um I'm very curious how your relationship with people changed from this discussion romantically like how your relationship >> first of all uh most of the relationships that I had ceased to exist at that point because anybody who was in my life had to be removed from that life. That's why I geographically moved myself to Chicago. I had to get out of New York where everybody knew me. So, first of all, most people from that lifetime I have no connection with. Either they're dead or in jail or somehow disappeared from my life. uh family members uh I would say that in general it better the relationships because not because anything but the fact that I changed so I had a bad relationship with if I'm just giving the sake of example with my father then it became good because I became a different person so I would attribute the change in relationships to a better way because I was at now I wasn't arrogant. I wasn't fresh. I wasn't answering back. I was respectful and so forth. Uh now that you're asking this question, there wasn't much change in relationships because that part of my life, most of the people in the view in my life don't exist anymore. uh when you're saying romantically. I don't even know how to answer that because I think I don't think before that I was I don't think I was a nice how would you say in English >> like a partner >> partner >> a partner um not so considerate not so patient not so understanding this entire encounter made me as a partner you said romantically I'm calling it a partner totally different because up until then I was arrogant so I I would only look at myself. That doesn't work well with relationships. And when you look first at others and then at yourself, that makes you a very good candidate for a good relationship. So it definitely changed in relationships a lot because how I came to the game, not because I was any different in any way. The fact that I became observant, that became a big thing for many people in my life that was hard for them to digest. And up until today, I have some family members that are not so happy with the change. But uh with or without relationships totally different in every I'm if when I'm looking at my life, totally different person. When I look at before pictures, I look at myself, I'm like, it's hard for me to even imagine myself how I was. I look at myself as a completely different person. Everything Hashem made complete change. So with no doubt that it affected everything, especially in relationships, but I'm I'm not saying it in an arrogant way, it's because I changed. So the relationships that I see in my life, they became better because I was the one who made the change. Of course, but once I was a not nice individual, mainly very arrogant and very self-centered and it was all about me and I need to be comfortable and I need to I I I that's not a good material for a relationship as a as as a as a foundation. But other than that, uh yeah, I can't even think of too many people that then in my lifetime that that stayed besides close family, whole different view of people, which was probably what Hashem needed, wanted for me, change everything. Like even after the near death experience, I moved to Chicago. I needed everybody new because it's very hard to to take a very old spoiled relationship and try to fix it. It's like Hashem was like, "Okay, we're going to reset everything. Start from scratch." That's where the Talmud says. Sometimes you need to change your place. Start fresh. Start new. And that will be your path for for benefit for good. So I'm hoping and answering you the the answer you needed to hear. I never I can tell you that's an original original. Most people the questions answer ask me I already heard 50 times if not 500 times. So new question I answered you. >> Yes. >> I think she actually >> ah okay. We're going by age. >> Go ahead. >> You had a question. >> Yes, I did. Okay. So, um the new death experience for me is not like you don't have to convince me. The first time I heard it, I told you it was 2017. I was mesmerized because I'm the first person you know like all the people. Oh, there is white light. So, and I also know you know the great miracles that happen in your life. told them my question is something you said many times you know you have a relationship with the chef now I think in a way you're very good because you saw your life they showed you so when you were in jail and