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Rabbi Akiva Tendler speaking at Thursday Night Mishmar at Scheiner's Shul before Rosh Hashanah
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Once upon a time in Benabra,
there was a man who was well known. He
was a man who used to drive around on a
three- wheeled bicycle that had a
basket, a huge basket in front of it.
And he would drive to all the city dumps
and all of the outside halls and outside
all the major garbage areas and he would
collect
artifacts, little things that people
threw out that he thought could be used,
he would collect them. He's what we call
in America a hoarder.
And whenever he found something he
thought was useful, he'd bring it home.
And he did it for year after year after
year until the pile of junk in his house
didn't have any room. So he moved out to
his yard. And then after a couple of
more years, the dirt in his yard didn't
have any room. So it began to get higher
and higher. He began to throw it up on
top of the pile until he had this
massive thing of junk, garbage outside
his house. And people, the neighbors
would say, "Stop. We have rodents. We
have all kinds of snakes. We don't want
this mess." and he would say, "No, no,
no. This is very important things. I
need to have every single one of them
has a purpose. Maybe one day I'm going
to need it." It got to a point that the
city got involved. The Bane city got
involved and they sent out a team who
evaluated and decided this is a public
health hazard. They're going to remove
this junk against his will. This man was
so so beside himself. He spent years
working to build up this huge pile of
dirt and
he said, "You can come, but I'm going to
be stopping you physically." So when the
team comes to clear away all of the
garbage from the ne from his yard, which
is affecting all the neighbors, he
stands there
over my dead body and he's stopping and
he's pushing and he's shoving. So the
team calls in the police. The police
take him, they arrest him and they
brought in trucks and trucks. Many many
dump trucks are filled up of all of his
soilless. Not only that, the town then
sent in another team from the Viva where
they then went and they planted a park
for him in his yard and they gave him
park benches and trees and underground a
sprinkler system.
And after they finished everything,
finally the police let him out of jail
and allowed him to go home. 6 months
later, a reporter who knew about the
whole thing wanted to see how did this
hoarder change his life. Did he go back
to his old habits or not? So, he comes
down with his cameras. He's going to
write a report, you know, put a a thing
about this guy. And he gets to the house
and he sees the man sitting on the bench
outside the house that was installed by
the
viva staring at the flowers enjoying the
yard.
So he says to the man, you know, can I
ask you a couple of questions? Can you
tell me how you feel now that you have a
beautiful yard to live in instead of all
of the garbage that was here? So the man
said, "To be honest, this is like
it's like life after death." He says,
"When I had all the the junk here, it
blocked the light from coming into my
house. I had no sunlight because the
pile of garbage was already two stories
high." says it affected the quality of
the air because the air was so full of
bacteria and viruses and everything. I
had lung problems. I had to take
medication for my lungs to clear it out.
And
overall, I had blood pressure issues. I
had other issues. But since they came
and cleared out my yard, suddenly I'm a
new man. I'm 10 years younger. I feel
healthier.
So the reporter said to him, "So tell
me, why didn't you clean out the garbage
yourself?"
So the man said, "Because when you're
sick, it's hard to realize how sick you
really are. Only after it was forcibly
taken away from me do I realize how sick
I am." So
Valinsky would say, "This man is a
mushel to all of us. Over years and
years we come and we collect we collect
a bad mida over here we collect a
a vera over there different behaviors
whether it's a learned behavior or
whether it's an inherent behavior we
collect things over the years to the
extent that we don't even feel how sick
we are but when we do chuva we're able
to suddenly have is to realize how many
a how many negative things we've
collected into our habits over time and
realized after we let go of it that
it's like life after death that we
thought we can never live without a
smartphone. We thought we could never
live without knowing how the news is and
checking up on what's going on with the
hostages every single day. And we
thought we need to know how the stock
market's going every single day. We
thought we thought this is life. But if
we have the opportunity to free
ourselves from this, it's like life
after death. We realize that we really
can be free. We can be healthier. We can
breathe easier. We could really enjoy
and live in the moment and not be
distracted from our the people around us
and from our lifestyle and to really
connect to by connecting to ourselves
would say and others would say that says
in the
so what's the in that look
means if it's bright red if it's a big
blotch you're walking around and you you
can feel it you can see it you can smell
that they have all over you. Even that
it's possible to do chuva. How do we do
chuva?
[Music]
It doesn't come by going to say
that's not how we do chuva. That's how
we do
voy. Chuva is done by first of all being
maker that we're doing something wrong.
There's something that has to be fixed.
V is confession. You're saying
>> correct. V is confession. That's the
last stage of chuva. The first stage of
chuva is
to stop doing it. If we feel it's wrong
to have this publication in our house,
if we feel it's wrong to hang out with a
certain person, if we feel that somehow
our phone or the app, a specific app,
whatever it might be, everyone has their
own thing that they no, right? To know
what it is. That's the first thing is to
be m what it is that has to be fixed and
and to stop doing that. The next step
after is
excellent to regret that we ever allowed
ourselves to fall into this like the man
sitting on the fresh air realizing wow
this life after death I'm able to live
without this app I'm able to live
without that publication I'm able to
live without those people who always
speak I'm able to really be the I want
to be wow there's life after death next
comes
so that means
Chuva starts today. Cha started l you
know the say the
it says we come in front of
what does mean it's doesn't mean
the way the soldiers mar into battle or
does it mean the way the sheep go under
the stick but whatever it is it's one at
a time who gets there in front who's the
first online we know that garbara says
that there's an You want to go earlier
because after sees people did a lot of
the
so the
says the kings go first so that
shouldn't want to destroy the whole um
because he's not angry yet when he sees
the people of so when it comes to the
you want to be first online before the
who gets online first on the who's
that's going to be the first in the
single file as we march in front of who
gets there first. It depends when you
started doing chuva. The first people
who did chuva get first online. If you
started doing chuva l
you're first online. If you start doing
chuva today,
get to the back of the line cuz you're
late. You're starting late.
The earlier we start doing chuva and if
we start doing chu I give you a
assurance you'll be pretty close to the
front of the line. All right. We're
living in a funny times. Even if you
start today, you're at the front of the
line. But we have to start today. That
means to be
and only then do we think about
that's the last thing is the last thing
and that's not something that happens on
that happens now before that we have to
start doing chuva. And if we do do
chuva,
even if our big blotches, big bright red
stains,
it'll become whitened. It'll wipe away
and become as white and clean as snow.
But sayim, the wordim also means years.
If it's been years that you've been
doing that vary, even many years, I've
been doing it since I'm 15. I've been
doing it since I'm seven.
It feels like how will I ever ever get
rid of it? It's like old years and
years. But if we do the steps of
even that will become white like snow,
very white, beautiful, clean, crisp.
It's like when you wake up on a shabas
morning and you see six inches of snow
in your backyard. It's like ah that's my
lamava. That's the world like with a
white beautiful talis over it. That is
kashelle ybino what it's like no matter
how bad the are
>> not if you have to shovel it
>> a shabas shabas
shabas
>> on chabas. Yeah.
So Rebel would say
he said we say in Davening that
what do we say next?
Okay.
What do we say before?
Imagine we're standing in front of
Hashem and we're saying Hashem I've done
a
hashem
despite all the aashu
return us return me
to you
imagine the to go in front of after all
of that I've done and to say to him
and then I go further Further
is not done.
What does mean
>> way back?
Right.
The way it always was. meaning I've been
doing these
years and years and I'm telling despite
all my years of I'm asking you
what kind of is that
>> to ask that
honesty is good
>> honesty is good
>> so be honest and say hashem throw me out
you don't need me as a matter of fact
>> I'm not even going to say
because I deserve to be thrown out I
deserve to be thrown thrown off the
bridge,
but I'm still having the to say to
a second
I've been doing a various for so many
years and I'm standing in front of and
I'm now telling
don't throw me away and then we go
further,
don't take away theem,
you know,
I'll keep that after all the aes that
were saying
after all that then we're saying let me
keep my
what's the what's going on in this so
the mafarim talk about it there's many
different mahal in this
and one of the ways that I saw
is
brought down from
as follows. I believe once met a younger
man
and he was talking to him and he saw the
young man didn't look like a yarishim.
He saw that this is a man who was
succumbing to many nonas. So he said to
him, you know, young man, I want to
learn with you. I want to be I want you
to do chuva. So says to him, trust me,
not me. I'm the wrong guy. No chuva for
me is because everyone else does a
I do a
I'm here to show God don't mess with me.
All right? I'm in control. I don't want
to be told what to do. Trust me, God
doesn't want my cha
everyone. He says to the younger man,
I'm a hab
when you two do chuva.
>> Exactly. He says, because when I do
chuva, I'm doing chuva because I'm a
reba, right? I have to show my I do
chuva, I get covered, I get guilt,
pinus, the things that go on. Other
people do chuva. Why am I doing chuva? I
have because the guy standing next to me
is going to see my eyes closed when I'm
going like this. and therefore I do
chuva. But you when you do chuva, you're
not trying to show off for anyone.
You're doing chuva because you really
want to do chuva
you're the one whoa
because as low as you are
>> that's as high as you're going to rise.
So says the says of galinsky based on
the story it's
I know how low I am. I know how filthy
dirty I am.
And therefore I ask you,
bring me so much higher.
Bring me all the way back to
before the original sin because of how
low I am. Therefore, I'm able to rise so
high.
And when I get up there from my low
place and you take me to the highest of
the high,
I might not look like I belong there.
[Music]
Please don't throw me away. Just because
I'm not dressed the way you expect me to
be dressed as a sadic because I wasn't
the sadic.
And
let me hold on to that high for that
inspiration. the ru of kadusha the
feeling of
that I'm going to feel that I feel at
that time when I do do the chuva please
let that stay with me
but the take this one step forward and
they say that
who is this what is this
on one hand it's
our own that madrega that we reach When
we go from our low and filthy dirty
place and rise to the highest of the
high, we talk our toesh.
But at the same time that
is your divine spirit that comes to us
through our through our through ouras
through our spouses people who inspire
us people who when we're exposed to them
we feel elevated we feel a of kadusha
just being around them that's what we're
dinging for
please make sure there's people around
me that inspire me and allow me to be
elevated by them and make sure I always
have the right friends, the right
environment like coming together the
here comes together all the time for the
for the to inspire to inspire each other
and to each other and to you to vinch on
each other with good that's the
many that we're asking for there's a
story that went around maybe you all
heard it but on October 7th
many of the kibbutim that were attacked
were extreme leftist kibbutim and the
people who lived there were very very
secular
that there were people who didn't know
the of shama Israel you could start shay
Israel and they can't finish the pik for
you that's how secular they are over
there's a famous story that went around
there was a general in the Israeli army
who was home and he only had his handgun
with him and as the attack happened he
locked himself into his home with
together with his wife and they
barricaded themselves inside. And as the
shooting's going on, the general tells
his wife, you know, I think I have to
engage. I have to go out and and do what
I can. So she says, but how can you go
out? What do you have? He says, I have a
handgun and I have 12 bullets.
So he has a handgun and 12 bullets. He's
going to go out against an RPG. Couple
of RPGs, a couple of uh, you know, M16s.
You know, going to go show them what can
handle. you know, going to go engage the
terrorists. So she says to him, "No,
you're not." He says, "Yes, I am. That's
what I'm trained to do. You engage."
So he for he doesn't listen to her. He
goes outside. Says he gets outside the
door. He turns the corner and he's
looking face to face at a terrorist.
Pops him and the guy drops dead. He
turns the other way face to face with
another terrorist. Pops him and drives.
Drops dead. Walks around to the other
side of the house. another terrorist. 11
bullets.
11 terrorists dead.
>> He has one bullet left and he moves
around to his neighbor's house and
there's a terrorist pointing an M16 at
his head and he's point pulls his
handgun and he points it at the
terrorist and he says to the terrorist
in Arabic, "We're either both going to
die or we're both going to put our guns
down." said Arab lowers his gun and he
shoots the terrorist and he drops dead.
>> Beautiful. I love it.
Feels good.
>> He's out of bullets. So what do you do?
He goes back home to his wife. He goes,
"What's he going to do? He can't stay
outside anymore."
>> Why didn't you take his machine?
>> He didn't have one. That's all he had.
>> Kill the guy.
>> Oh,
I don't think he got enough.
>> He goes back home and he tells his wife
what happened and she's crying. She
couldn't believe that she's seeing him
alive. She was sure that he was gone.
And he said to her, "What were you doing
when I was out there?"
So she said,
"I was praying for you." And what were
you doing? She said to him. So he said,
"I just kept on saying Shama Israel,
Shama Israel, Shama Israel."
>> So someone asked him, "What comes after
that?" He says, "I don't know." That's
all I knew to say. And I kept on saying
Shama Israel
>> and 12 bullets, 12 terrorists down.
>> So, someone said a beautiful vert
is hashem. Who's our shy? We'd ask you
Israel, please protect the leftovers,
the remnants, the pl those who are off
on the side
and they should not be lost.
Those who say
and nothing else. That's all they know
to say is
have
>> 12.
All they know we dab in even the yidden
who can only say and nothing else is.
And we dive in and we say
what are these three things? They're the
same thing over and over again.
Same thing
amazing thing. This is the three
different Madregas of Yidden who are
Moer Nephesh who lose their lives.
Someone who's killed by unwillingly
without him knowing a terrorist blows up
a bus the Nazis kill him. That is
they're slaughtered unifying you being
your saying is those are this person who
we spoke about. Those are the 400 boys
and girls who jumped off. There were
they were
um those who were who were killed
because they're Jews and they knew they
were being killed because they're Jews
and
are those who are nephesh willing they
jumped off the boats the 400 that jumped
off the boats they were they came
al
to sanctify Hashem's name and we dab on
this of all these three different groups
who gave up their lives forem
that is on us today that we shouldn't
have to give up our lives. We shouldn't
have these
that so many yidden are suffering from
and in harm's way
rather and there is
do for us in the of those yen who did
suffer for the of those who did lose
their lives. Hashem have on us who are
surviving that we should
be saved
from all the terrible things that are
going on
during the Holocaust. There was a RV
whose name was Miselish from the city of
Vitzel.
Vitzell maybe it is
that he was in the camps and he wrote a
safer which was in toil nishmas all the
raanim that were killed during the
holocaust and he collected
from hearsay shilas that were asked to
ban him during the holocaust and in his
he shared his own experiences
and he shared
one interesting story during his
experience that it was rashana Tough
shindal mish this time of year
is how many years ago
>> exactly 81 years ago.
So it's sh the Nazis found 1,600
bakarim between the age of 10 and 17
that had been somehow forgotten about by
the Nazis. And they suddenly found them
and they said,
"We got to deal with this Jewish
problem." So they took a big stick which
is about 5 1/2 ft tall and they made
everyone walk under the stick. Whoever
wasn't tall enough to hit the stick, you
know, like when you want to go onto a
roller coaster, right? They whoever it
doesn't get tall onto that stick is too
young, too small to be necessary and was
going to be liquidated the next day.
It's sent to the gas chambers. Of
the,600
bakarim only 200
were able to touch the stick and 1,400
were put away. And the Nazis told them
tomorrow we are going to gaz you and
burn you in the crematorium.
only 200 survived were able to make it.
During that day,
they realized that the guards were
capos. The guards who were keeping these
boys locked up were actual Jews who were
appointed by the Nazis who collaborated
with the Nazis willingly or unwillingly.
But they were able to be bribed. The
problem was if you bribe a capo to give
up one of the two of this, 400,
he has to replace that child cuz the
Nazis kept records. So the shil was if
you can afford to take out your son is
it mutter knowing that the kapo is going
to take someone else's son someone else
is going to die because of it. So a
father came to mis with this question
and he says I can afford to get my son
out he's my only son I don't have
another son is it m for me to pay the
kapo knowing that the kappo is going to
take someone else's son and he'll die
tomorrow.
So if Mel said to him,
I'm in ashit with you. I don't have any.
I don't have the I can't pass in for
you. So he says, but Rebei I needsak. I
needsak now. I can't I can't pass. I
don't have my here. So he says, Rebei,
if you don't tell me it's mut, I'm
assuming you're passing that it's user
and I'm not going to do it.
The mis said
I didn't say that. I said
I don't know. You never asked me the
question. That's what I'm telling you. I
look at this as if you never asked me
the question. So the man said if you
don't tell me it's mut I'm pasing it's
asser. I'm not going to do it alas. And
he got up. He left of mis and he walked
around the camp saying the following
thing. He says, "Today is rash.
I'm being
to do my own.
I could have saved my son, but I'm not
because I don't think that's what Hashem
wants from me."
That room, that block where they kept
these, 400 bakarim was another bakar.
His name was Misha Rosenberg.
This Mishel Rosenberg was 20 years old
but he was very short and therefore he
didn't hit the stick and this was he was
the meaning in yeshiva he was like the
bakr you know the bak who said over the
rashim
and everyone knew he was a ml he was an
amazing
he was amazing garay and there was
another bak who came over to mish and
said to him he says rebi what's going to
be with my roen
So he says, "What do you mean?" He says,
"He's going to die. We can't let a buck
like that die. Claudius needs him. He's
a future god doll." So Maj says, "What
are we going to do?" Like
what's there to do? You have a plan.
Like what what are we going to do? So he
says, "Yeah, I have a plan." He says, "I
happen to have enough money to bribe the
capo to let him out."
But the problem is they're going to take
someone else. I volunteer. I'll go into
the block. I'm going to let Mosha
Rosenberg out because he's aim
he's to become a and I'm a nobody. I
anyway lost my parents already. They
were killed. My sister was murdered.
I'll go in. I have no reason to live
anyway.
>> You don't know. You don't know what said
to him in Hashem's eyes.
How do you know your blood is better
than his blood? His blood's better than
your blood. You know what in Hashem's
eyes is you're aided. I don't know who
Hashem wants to live, who Hashem doesn't
want to live. I can't let I can't give
you a Hear to save Misha Rosenberg.
So the Bakar heard this he came back a
few minutes later to have Mish and he
says I can't I can't stay alive. I can't
stay alive knowing that Misha Rosenberg
is going to die. I am nothing. I'm under
his the souls of his feet. So I decided
that if you don't give me a header,
if you don't the opposite,
>> tell me it's mutter, then
>> then
>> I'm going to do it.
>> If you don't say it's I'm going to do it
on one condition. You have to promise me
that I'm not considered suicide, which
is
Haba
>> promise me that I'm going to go to Haba
if I do it.
>> How is he supposed to question that?
>> How's he supposed to pass him like that?
>> Who was shocked and inspired by this
boy's the might of his energy of his
personality. He scream at him and he
says, "I told you I can't tell you it's
the right thing and therefore I can't
promise you you're going to go to Alum
Haba. It's the wrong it may be the wrong
thing to do. I can't tell you." So the
bakar
broke down crying and he says, "Rebi,
I know Michel Rosenberg is the one who
should be living. I know that I'm the
one. My life is nothing that I I should
die." He says, "I saw my family die
and even now you're taking away from me
the ability to lose my life to save
someone else's life." Rebe I have
nothing left. says if Mis was like
shuckled, you know, he was like
shattered shooken by the by what the
Spak said but he says sorry I can't I
can't give you a hat to do that I can't
give you a hat to cause yourself to die
to save someone else's life but then
says that Rash
that day that same day before this 1,400
bakham were killed he actually had a
sche and he brought the shaer in in
Ashwitz and he he said he blew went from
black to
And he wore 20 blocks. He blew 100 ky.
100 ky
20 times. Can you imagine? Some bal tea
can't even get it. You know, when they
get to 95, 96, it's like you're holding
your breath already. Like what's going
to happen to him?
>> 2,000 killes. Okay. He was the only one.
And he, it seems from the story that the
Nazis, the SS murderers, the capos were
there in the morning and the Nazis would
were sleeping in the morning. They'd
come a little bit later in the day. It
seems on the story
>> was able to um
>> right. So when these 1,400 bakarim heard
that Mish was walking around with a they
said they sent him a message. They
couldn't come out. They sent a message
to the capi please come blow the shaer
by us. We want to hear we're going to
die today.
>> Right?
>> Let us let us hear for the last time. So
if son was there with him and he says
rebi tati you know if you go there and
the Nazis come to kill them while you're
there you're going along with them. them
because you can't you can't go there to
blow for them. And the kids sent the
messages they were crying is please give
us the mitzvah of one last time. This is
the last mitzvah we're going to have on
this world. Please, please, please. And
they begged him and begged him and he
was masked him finally to go and but
they set up a guard system that as soon
as the Nazis were seen off in the
distance, someone's going to stop him
even if it's in the middle of the mayor
of the mayor. So they had a system.
Anyway, so he starts off saying
and the boy said, "Rebi, we don't have
time for
we want a drussa instead. We want a
drussa, not the sukum, please."
So he puts down the chaur
and he looks around the room at 1,400
pure eyes looking at him who want to
hear a little hisus before their last
tea
and he says we say inima.
So he says is we blow the
because that's the mitzvah to do it. But
he says
is when the
when things are hidden we don't know
Hashem's ways.
>> We don't know Hashem's ways. We don't
know why we're here. Why tomorrow we may
not be here. We don't know.
has his he has his we don't know but
what we do know is that we have to keep
the mit of tickle we're going to blow
that and do theem and he said
I want you to know
just like with Tamar. Tamar sent to
Yehuda,
right?
She sent him the message. The med says
the fire was already lit under her when
she sent that message to Yehuda. She was
already being burned and Yehuda was maid
and they pulled her out of the flames
and he said, "Kinder,
don't give up. Don't be
and even at the last moment
it's possible that nothing everything
will work out and what happened from
Tamar she was the mother of Msiah
things look like everything's ending but
no that's where things are being born
sometimes and he says
please
and don't forget to Shah Israel.
And then he took out the sche and he
blew the may and he was about to leave.
And then one of the bakim said to him
my friends says listen to what the Reb
just said. The Reb just said to us that
he says we have to hope for the best. We
have to hope for the best. But let's
look at our situation realistically and
remember that we're going to keep on
dinging, but we should not forget to say
because that's what the Reb is teaching
us. That we have to remember we're here
for the
Hashem. It's from Hashem. We can't
understand it.
They all started to scream
out together at that time.
When Majus was leaving this block, they
said to him, "Rebi, we can't thank you
for being makos in this last mitzvah.
There's nothing we could say to you."
Like you you gave us our last mitzvah in
this world,
but we gave you a braha that you should
survive.
He left the block in time and he wrote
down these stories for us to remember
the godless
the amazing nephesh the amazing
that so many didn't have and that's what
we for
we want to live why
for you Hashem.
We want our lives to be a lives of
and that's how these yidden inspire us.
They teach us what life is really all
about by losing their life. They teach
us how life what life really is about.
They teach us how there's life after
death. How if we make the if we do the
chuva properly if we are if we are if we
do voy we're new people we're screaming
while we're alive not while we're dead
but while we're alive famous line it's
hard to die it's even harder to live
and this is the inspiration they're
leaving us that
I am the man. The man
I got.