Rabbi Akiva Tendler speaking at Thursday Night Mishmar at Scheiner's Shul before Rosh Hashanah

Once upon a time in Benabra, there was a man who was well known. He was a man who used to drive around on a three- wheeled bicycle that had a basket, a huge basket in front of it. And he would drive to all the city dumps and all of the outside halls and outside all the major garbage areas and he would collect artifacts, little things that people threw out that he thought could be used, he would collect them. He's what we call in America a hoarder. And whenever he found something he thought was useful, he'd bring it home. And he did it for year after year after year until the pile of junk in his house didn't have any room. So he moved out to his yard. And then after a couple of more years, the dirt in his yard didn't have any room. So it began to get higher and higher. He began to throw it up on top of the pile until he had this massive thing of junk, garbage outside his house. And people, the neighbors would say, "Stop. We have rodents. We have all kinds of snakes. We don't want this mess." and he would say, "No, no, no. This is very important things. I need to have every single one of them has a purpose. Maybe one day I'm going to need it." It got to a point that the city got involved. The Bane city got involved and they sent out a team who evaluated and decided this is a public health hazard. They're going to remove this junk against his will. This man was so so beside himself. He spent years working to build up this huge pile of dirt and he said, "You can come, but I'm going to be stopping you physically." So when the team comes to clear away all of the garbage from the ne from his yard, which is affecting all the neighbors, he stands there over my dead body and he's stopping and he's pushing and he's shoving. So the team calls in the police. The police take him, they arrest him and they brought in trucks and trucks. Many many dump trucks are filled up of all of his soilless. Not only that, the town then sent in another team from the Viva where they then went and they planted a park for him in his yard and they gave him park benches and trees and underground a sprinkler system. And after they finished everything, finally the police let him out of jail and allowed him to go home. 6 months later, a reporter who knew about the whole thing wanted to see how did this hoarder change his life. Did he go back to his old habits or not? So, he comes down with his cameras. He's going to write a report, you know, put a a thing about this guy. And he gets to the house and he sees the man sitting on the bench outside the house that was installed by the viva staring at the flowers enjoying the yard. So he says to the man, you know, can I ask you a couple of questions? Can you tell me how you feel now that you have a beautiful yard to live in instead of all of the garbage that was here? So the man said, "To be honest, this is like it's like life after death." He says, "When I had all the the junk here, it blocked the light from coming into my house. I had no sunlight because the pile of garbage was already two stories high." says it affected the quality of the air because the air was so full of bacteria and viruses and everything. I had lung problems. I had to take medication for my lungs to clear it out. And overall, I had blood pressure issues. I had other issues. But since they came and cleared out my yard, suddenly I'm a new man. I'm 10 years younger. I feel healthier. So the reporter said to him, "So tell me, why didn't you clean out the garbage yourself?" So the man said, "Because when you're sick, it's hard to realize how sick you really are. Only after it was forcibly taken away from me do I realize how sick I am." So Valinsky would say, "This man is a mushel to all of us. Over years and years we come and we collect we collect a bad mida over here we collect a a vera over there different behaviors whether it's a learned behavior or whether it's an inherent behavior we collect things over the years to the extent that we don't even feel how sick we are but when we do chuva we're able to suddenly have is to realize how many a how many negative things we've collected into our habits over time and realized after we let go of it that it's like life after death that we thought we can never live without a smartphone. We thought we could never live without knowing how the news is and checking up on what's going on with the hostages every single day. And we thought we need to know how the stock market's going every single day. We thought we thought this is life. But if we have the opportunity to free ourselves from this, it's like life after death. We realize that we really can be free. We can be healthier. We can breathe easier. We could really enjoy and live in the moment and not be distracted from our the people around us and from our lifestyle and to really connect to by connecting to ourselves would say and others would say that says in the so what's the in that look means if it's bright red if it's a big blotch you're walking around and you you can feel it you can see it you can smell that they have all over you. Even that it's possible to do chuva. How do we do chuva? [Music] It doesn't come by going to say that's not how we do chuva. That's how we do voy. Chuva is done by first of all being maker that we're doing something wrong. There's something that has to be fixed. V is confession. You're saying >> correct. V is confession. That's the last stage of chuva. The first stage of chuva is to stop doing it. If we feel it's wrong to have this publication in our house, if we feel it's wrong to hang out with a certain person, if we feel that somehow our phone or the app, a specific app, whatever it might be, everyone has their own thing that they no, right? To know what it is. That's the first thing is to be m what it is that has to be fixed and and to stop doing that. The next step after is excellent to regret that we ever allowed ourselves to fall into this like the man sitting on the fresh air realizing wow this life after death I'm able to live without this app I'm able to live without that publication I'm able to live without those people who always speak I'm able to really be the I want to be wow there's life after death next comes so that means Chuva starts today. Cha started l you know the say the it says we come in front of what does mean it's doesn't mean the way the soldiers mar into battle or does it mean the way the sheep go under the stick but whatever it is it's one at a time who gets there in front who's the first online we know that garbara says that there's an You want to go earlier because after sees people did a lot of the so the says the kings go first so that shouldn't want to destroy the whole um because he's not angry yet when he sees the people of so when it comes to the you want to be first online before the who gets online first on the who's that's going to be the first in the single file as we march in front of who gets there first. It depends when you started doing chuva. The first people who did chuva get first online. If you started doing chuva l you're first online. If you start doing chuva today, get to the back of the line cuz you're late. You're starting late. The earlier we start doing chuva and if we start doing chu I give you a assurance you'll be pretty close to the front of the line. All right. We're living in a funny times. Even if you start today, you're at the front of the line. But we have to start today. That means to be and only then do we think about that's the last thing is the last thing and that's not something that happens on that happens now before that we have to start doing chuva. And if we do do chuva, even if our big blotches, big bright red stains, it'll become whitened. It'll wipe away and become as white and clean as snow. But sayim, the wordim also means years. If it's been years that you've been doing that vary, even many years, I've been doing it since I'm 15. I've been doing it since I'm seven. It feels like how will I ever ever get rid of it? It's like old years and years. But if we do the steps of even that will become white like snow, very white, beautiful, clean, crisp. It's like when you wake up on a shabas morning and you see six inches of snow in your backyard. It's like ah that's my lamava. That's the world like with a white beautiful talis over it. That is kashelle ybino what it's like no matter how bad the are >> not if you have to shovel it >> a shabas shabas shabas >> on chabas. Yeah. So Rebel would say he said we say in Davening that what do we say next? Okay. What do we say before? Imagine we're standing in front of Hashem and we're saying Hashem I've done a hashem despite all the aashu return us return me to you imagine the to go in front of after all of that I've done and to say to him and then I go further Further is not done. What does mean >> way back? Right. The way it always was. meaning I've been doing these years and years and I'm telling despite all my years of I'm asking you what kind of is that >> to ask that honesty is good >> honesty is good >> so be honest and say hashem throw me out you don't need me as a matter of fact >> I'm not even going to say because I deserve to be thrown out I deserve to be thrown thrown off the bridge, but I'm still having the to say to a second I've been doing a various for so many years and I'm standing in front of and I'm now telling don't throw me away and then we go further, don't take away theem, you know, I'll keep that after all the aes that were saying after all that then we're saying let me keep my what's the what's going on in this so the mafarim talk about it there's many different mahal in this and one of the ways that I saw is brought down from as follows. I believe once met a younger man and he was talking to him and he saw the young man didn't look like a yarishim. He saw that this is a man who was succumbing to many nonas. So he said to him, you know, young man, I want to learn with you. I want to be I want you to do chuva. So says to him, trust me, not me. I'm the wrong guy. No chuva for me is because everyone else does a I do a I'm here to show God don't mess with me. All right? I'm in control. I don't want to be told what to do. Trust me, God doesn't want my cha everyone. He says to the younger man, I'm a hab when you two do chuva. >> Exactly. He says, because when I do chuva, I'm doing chuva because I'm a reba, right? I have to show my I do chuva, I get covered, I get guilt, pinus, the things that go on. Other people do chuva. Why am I doing chuva? I have because the guy standing next to me is going to see my eyes closed when I'm going like this. and therefore I do chuva. But you when you do chuva, you're not trying to show off for anyone. You're doing chuva because you really want to do chuva you're the one whoa because as low as you are >> that's as high as you're going to rise. So says the says of galinsky based on the story it's I know how low I am. I know how filthy dirty I am. And therefore I ask you, bring me so much higher. Bring me all the way back to before the original sin because of how low I am. Therefore, I'm able to rise so high. And when I get up there from my low place and you take me to the highest of the high, I might not look like I belong there. [Music] Please don't throw me away. Just because I'm not dressed the way you expect me to be dressed as a sadic because I wasn't the sadic. And let me hold on to that high for that inspiration. the ru of kadusha the feeling of that I'm going to feel that I feel at that time when I do do the chuva please let that stay with me but the take this one step forward and they say that who is this what is this on one hand it's our own that madrega that we reach When we go from our low and filthy dirty place and rise to the highest of the high, we talk our toesh. But at the same time that is your divine spirit that comes to us through our through our through ouras through our spouses people who inspire us people who when we're exposed to them we feel elevated we feel a of kadusha just being around them that's what we're dinging for please make sure there's people around me that inspire me and allow me to be elevated by them and make sure I always have the right friends, the right environment like coming together the here comes together all the time for the for the to inspire to inspire each other and to each other and to you to vinch on each other with good that's the many that we're asking for there's a story that went around maybe you all heard it but on October 7th many of the kibbutim that were attacked were extreme leftist kibbutim and the people who lived there were very very secular that there were people who didn't know the of shama Israel you could start shay Israel and they can't finish the pik for you that's how secular they are over there's a famous story that went around there was a general in the Israeli army who was home and he only had his handgun with him and as the attack happened he locked himself into his home with together with his wife and they barricaded themselves inside. And as the shooting's going on, the general tells his wife, you know, I think I have to engage. I have to go out and and do what I can. So she says, but how can you go out? What do you have? He says, I have a handgun and I have 12 bullets. So he has a handgun and 12 bullets. He's going to go out against an RPG. Couple of RPGs, a couple of uh, you know, M16s. You know, going to go show them what can handle. you know, going to go engage the terrorists. So she says to him, "No, you're not." He says, "Yes, I am. That's what I'm trained to do. You engage." So he for he doesn't listen to her. He goes outside. Says he gets outside the door. He turns the corner and he's looking face to face at a terrorist. Pops him and the guy drops dead. He turns the other way face to face with another terrorist. Pops him and drives. Drops dead. Walks around to the other side of the house. another terrorist. 11 bullets. 11 terrorists dead. >> He has one bullet left and he moves around to his neighbor's house and there's a terrorist pointing an M16 at his head and he's point pulls his handgun and he points it at the terrorist and he says to the terrorist in Arabic, "We're either both going to die or we're both going to put our guns down." said Arab lowers his gun and he shoots the terrorist and he drops dead. >> Beautiful. I love it. Feels good. >> He's out of bullets. So what do you do? He goes back home to his wife. He goes, "What's he going to do? He can't stay outside anymore." >> Why didn't you take his machine? >> He didn't have one. That's all he had. >> Kill the guy. >> Oh, I don't think he got enough. >> He goes back home and he tells his wife what happened and she's crying. She couldn't believe that she's seeing him alive. She was sure that he was gone. And he said to her, "What were you doing when I was out there?" So she said, "I was praying for you." And what were you doing? She said to him. So he said, "I just kept on saying Shama Israel, Shama Israel, Shama Israel." >> So someone asked him, "What comes after that?" He says, "I don't know." That's all I knew to say. And I kept on saying Shama Israel >> and 12 bullets, 12 terrorists down. >> So, someone said a beautiful vert is hashem. Who's our shy? We'd ask you Israel, please protect the leftovers, the remnants, the pl those who are off on the side and they should not be lost. Those who say and nothing else. That's all they know to say is have >> 12. All they know we dab in even the yidden who can only say and nothing else is. And we dive in and we say what are these three things? They're the same thing over and over again. Same thing amazing thing. This is the three different Madregas of Yidden who are Moer Nephesh who lose their lives. Someone who's killed by unwillingly without him knowing a terrorist blows up a bus the Nazis kill him. That is they're slaughtered unifying you being your saying is those are this person who we spoke about. Those are the 400 boys and girls who jumped off. There were they were um those who were who were killed because they're Jews and they knew they were being killed because they're Jews and are those who are nephesh willing they jumped off the boats the 400 that jumped off the boats they were they came al to sanctify Hashem's name and we dab on this of all these three different groups who gave up their lives forem that is on us today that we shouldn't have to give up our lives. We shouldn't have these that so many yidden are suffering from and in harm's way rather and there is do for us in the of those yen who did suffer for the of those who did lose their lives. Hashem have on us who are surviving that we should be saved from all the terrible things that are going on during the Holocaust. There was a RV whose name was Miselish from the city of Vitzel. Vitzell maybe it is that he was in the camps and he wrote a safer which was in toil nishmas all the raanim that were killed during the holocaust and he collected from hearsay shilas that were asked to ban him during the holocaust and in his he shared his own experiences and he shared one interesting story during his experience that it was rashana Tough shindal mish this time of year is how many years ago >> exactly 81 years ago. So it's sh the Nazis found 1,600 bakarim between the age of 10 and 17 that had been somehow forgotten about by the Nazis. And they suddenly found them and they said, "We got to deal with this Jewish problem." So they took a big stick which is about 5 1/2 ft tall and they made everyone walk under the stick. Whoever wasn't tall enough to hit the stick, you know, like when you want to go onto a roller coaster, right? They whoever it doesn't get tall onto that stick is too young, too small to be necessary and was going to be liquidated the next day. It's sent to the gas chambers. Of the,600 bakarim only 200 were able to touch the stick and 1,400 were put away. And the Nazis told them tomorrow we are going to gaz you and burn you in the crematorium. only 200 survived were able to make it. During that day, they realized that the guards were capos. The guards who were keeping these boys locked up were actual Jews who were appointed by the Nazis who collaborated with the Nazis willingly or unwillingly. But they were able to be bribed. The problem was if you bribe a capo to give up one of the two of this, 400, he has to replace that child cuz the Nazis kept records. So the shil was if you can afford to take out your son is it mutter knowing that the kapo is going to take someone else's son someone else is going to die because of it. So a father came to mis with this question and he says I can afford to get my son out he's my only son I don't have another son is it m for me to pay the kapo knowing that the kappo is going to take someone else's son and he'll die tomorrow. So if Mel said to him, I'm in ashit with you. I don't have any. I don't have the I can't pass in for you. So he says, but Rebei I needsak. I needsak now. I can't I can't pass. I don't have my here. So he says, Rebei, if you don't tell me it's mut, I'm assuming you're passing that it's user and I'm not going to do it. The mis said I didn't say that. I said I don't know. You never asked me the question. That's what I'm telling you. I look at this as if you never asked me the question. So the man said if you don't tell me it's mut I'm pasing it's asser. I'm not going to do it alas. And he got up. He left of mis and he walked around the camp saying the following thing. He says, "Today is rash. I'm being to do my own. I could have saved my son, but I'm not because I don't think that's what Hashem wants from me." That room, that block where they kept these, 400 bakarim was another bakar. His name was Misha Rosenberg. This Mishel Rosenberg was 20 years old but he was very short and therefore he didn't hit the stick and this was he was the meaning in yeshiva he was like the bakr you know the bak who said over the rashim and everyone knew he was a ml he was an amazing he was amazing garay and there was another bak who came over to mish and said to him he says rebi what's going to be with my roen So he says, "What do you mean?" He says, "He's going to die. We can't let a buck like that die. Claudius needs him. He's a future god doll." So Maj says, "What are we going to do?" Like what's there to do? You have a plan. Like what what are we going to do? So he says, "Yeah, I have a plan." He says, "I happen to have enough money to bribe the capo to let him out." But the problem is they're going to take someone else. I volunteer. I'll go into the block. I'm going to let Mosha Rosenberg out because he's aim he's to become a and I'm a nobody. I anyway lost my parents already. They were killed. My sister was murdered. I'll go in. I have no reason to live anyway. >> You don't know. You don't know what said to him in Hashem's eyes. How do you know your blood is better than his blood? His blood's better than your blood. You know what in Hashem's eyes is you're aided. I don't know who Hashem wants to live, who Hashem doesn't want to live. I can't let I can't give you a Hear to save Misha Rosenberg. So the Bakar heard this he came back a few minutes later to have Mish and he says I can't I can't stay alive. I can't stay alive knowing that Misha Rosenberg is going to die. I am nothing. I'm under his the souls of his feet. So I decided that if you don't give me a header, if you don't the opposite, >> tell me it's mutter, then >> then >> I'm going to do it. >> If you don't say it's I'm going to do it on one condition. You have to promise me that I'm not considered suicide, which is Haba >> promise me that I'm going to go to Haba if I do it. >> How is he supposed to question that? >> How's he supposed to pass him like that? >> Who was shocked and inspired by this boy's the might of his energy of his personality. He scream at him and he says, "I told you I can't tell you it's the right thing and therefore I can't promise you you're going to go to Alum Haba. It's the wrong it may be the wrong thing to do. I can't tell you." So the bakar broke down crying and he says, "Rebi, I know Michel Rosenberg is the one who should be living. I know that I'm the one. My life is nothing that I I should die." He says, "I saw my family die and even now you're taking away from me the ability to lose my life to save someone else's life." Rebe I have nothing left. says if Mis was like shuckled, you know, he was like shattered shooken by the by what the Spak said but he says sorry I can't I can't give you a hat to do that I can't give you a hat to cause yourself to die to save someone else's life but then says that Rash that day that same day before this 1,400 bakham were killed he actually had a sche and he brought the shaer in in Ashwitz and he he said he blew went from black to And he wore 20 blocks. He blew 100 ky. 100 ky 20 times. Can you imagine? Some bal tea can't even get it. You know, when they get to 95, 96, it's like you're holding your breath already. Like what's going to happen to him? >> 2,000 killes. Okay. He was the only one. And he, it seems from the story that the Nazis, the SS murderers, the capos were there in the morning and the Nazis would were sleeping in the morning. They'd come a little bit later in the day. It seems on the story >> was able to um >> right. So when these 1,400 bakarim heard that Mish was walking around with a they said they sent him a message. They couldn't come out. They sent a message to the capi please come blow the shaer by us. We want to hear we're going to die today. >> Right? >> Let us let us hear for the last time. So if son was there with him and he says rebi tati you know if you go there and the Nazis come to kill them while you're there you're going along with them. them because you can't you can't go there to blow for them. And the kids sent the messages they were crying is please give us the mitzvah of one last time. This is the last mitzvah we're going to have on this world. Please, please, please. And they begged him and begged him and he was masked him finally to go and but they set up a guard system that as soon as the Nazis were seen off in the distance, someone's going to stop him even if it's in the middle of the mayor of the mayor. So they had a system. Anyway, so he starts off saying and the boy said, "Rebi, we don't have time for we want a drussa instead. We want a drussa, not the sukum, please." So he puts down the chaur and he looks around the room at 1,400 pure eyes looking at him who want to hear a little hisus before their last tea and he says we say inima. So he says is we blow the because that's the mitzvah to do it. But he says is when the when things are hidden we don't know Hashem's ways. >> We don't know Hashem's ways. We don't know why we're here. Why tomorrow we may not be here. We don't know. has his he has his we don't know but what we do know is that we have to keep the mit of tickle we're going to blow that and do theem and he said I want you to know just like with Tamar. Tamar sent to Yehuda, right? She sent him the message. The med says the fire was already lit under her when she sent that message to Yehuda. She was already being burned and Yehuda was maid and they pulled her out of the flames and he said, "Kinder, don't give up. Don't be and even at the last moment it's possible that nothing everything will work out and what happened from Tamar she was the mother of Msiah things look like everything's ending but no that's where things are being born sometimes and he says please and don't forget to Shah Israel. And then he took out the sche and he blew the may and he was about to leave. And then one of the bakim said to him my friends says listen to what the Reb just said. The Reb just said to us that he says we have to hope for the best. We have to hope for the best. But let's look at our situation realistically and remember that we're going to keep on dinging, but we should not forget to say because that's what the Reb is teaching us. That we have to remember we're here for the Hashem. It's from Hashem. We can't understand it. They all started to scream out together at that time. When Majus was leaving this block, they said to him, "Rebi, we can't thank you for being makos in this last mitzvah. There's nothing we could say to you." Like you you gave us our last mitzvah in this world, but we gave you a braha that you should survive. He left the block in time and he wrote down these stories for us to remember the godless the amazing nephesh the amazing that so many didn't have and that's what we for we want to live why for you Hashem. We want our lives to be a lives of and that's how these yidden inspire us. They teach us what life is really all about by losing their life. They teach us how life what life really is about. They teach us how there's life after death. How if we make the if we do the chuva properly if we are if we are if we do voy we're new people we're screaming while we're alive not while we're dead but while we're alive famous line it's hard to die it's even harder to live and this is the inspiration they're leaving us that I am the man. The man I got.