Rabbi Aharon Kotler - Seven Life Altering Lessons - Project Inspire Convention 2025

okay so usually the mining is byid at least they say rebish they say MIM from gdim by shal Shas and I'm going to share stories but I have no interest I'm a litvac through my core and I have no interest in risham Isis but I have a reason I have an agenda why I want to share these stories and that agenda is very simple kirv is something that relatively new in clausal at least in its modern day form it's really not new if you look at the ROM those days it's nothing new for example the Jewish community of Amsterdam anybody here ever been to Amsterdam so how was who founded the Amsterdam Jewish Community anybody know they were all balich Chua there was one R who was not a BAL Chua and what I mean Bal Chua they all had converted to Christianity by the Spanish and then that was 1492 in the 1600s was relative freedom in Amsterdam where you were allowed to live as a Jew because the Catholics were not in charge and you didn't escape to Amsterdam and from among themselves they created a cure of movement and they revitalized an incredible Community there was really one one famous One RV that was not a BAL Chua but the whole Community was balich Chua similar to Chile today if you go to Santiago Chile I was in Santiago a couple of months ago and the school kahar has 450 kids in the from school a beautiful beautiful Community growing and thriving and other than RV tamim every single person in the community not 30% to 50% not 90% 100% of the community are rly Bali cha nonetheless everything we do as Jews has to have a m and certainly over shabas we're hearing a lot of opinions up there I'm not qualified fight as D toyra and I don't know that the others are or not I'm sure they are but there's a lot of opinions and there's a lot of maybe not acceptance of kirv in the world in a sense where does it fit in where does it not fit in and I think it's important that whatever we do as Jews to be anchored either in active living in kazal we had a big fight last night about about the question of someone asked about meat boards and the other Rabbi and I were arguing and we're arguing over what does the Tyra say we want to know what the Tyra says we want to know howra and we also want to know what did our gum say and if we don't have living gum and I note that here at this conference really there should be not a criticism but there should be a g Adar here there should be some GLE that's here establishing an imprint active not a guy like me I'm not a guttle I'm just a ball bus but a real guttle of people in the absence of of that I'm going to tell stories but I first i' like to begin with a p RAB who talks about shua this is an amazing pza it's a medish from the tan and the medish says as follows before the world was created hem was alone and hem decided to create the world he was trying to trace K is trying to like before you pour a foundation if anyone here has ever done construction you have to snap your lines before you drop walls in a building you got a SN you have to know where you're putting the foundations where you laying them you need a survey you got to know how to put your foundations down when you're building the room you have to know where you're putting your walls that's the expression and was being he wanted to create a world he's trying to lay foundations the world did not stand whatever Hashem did to create a universe the world was unable to stand that a king wants to build for his children a great palace if he's not M properly in the land foundations you can't start to build and says the following he attempted kav to establish a world and the world kept falling apart is before Tyra before the Bria until created CH and says very simple that without chva there is no world so we think that the Cure of movement is something modern to try to get a person maybe to do cha maybe we want to do chva ourselves and we think okay it's a nice thing it's AAS it's we had some discussions yesterday is is is is is kir of is it is it a feeling for your fellow Jews is it the Arvis of one Jew has for another but I think it goes even Beyond Aras it goes to the essence of the world that a Kadesh who says that I could not create the world till I created Chua the fact is the reality is people are going to be off the Derk in every generation that were till messia comes in every generation that will be and Chua is so foundational to world that it goes before the foundations the next Simon he says an amazing thing seven things were created before the world and he says the following are obviously Tyra geham and ganad consequences without Ty you don't know how to live G and geham there's got to be consequences otherwise you live a meaningless vapored empty life the presence of AES in heaven down on Earth in the base CH is the sixth one and the seventh one is the fact that one day hashem's plan for Earth will be will be recognized so I think that what was missing what could we add on AIT shabas after such a beautiful shabas so inspirational every single word heard here was so inspirational what we were missing I think is an understanding of the true place of Chua and of bringing about chuva when you're bringing about chuva in the world you're going Beyond creation itself to the things that we created before creation to the very foundations of the world which means kav this is the you bring about the will of Hashem if you could do cha yourself or I could do cha myself and if you can Inspire others to do chuva you're not just feeling a will of AES you're not fixing a room in his Palace you're not fixing a problem you're creating the very foundations beyond the foundations the to be able to establish a world so allow me to share some great stories I'm going to begin with my great-grandfather's seven people who had a profound influence on me I'm going to begin with my great-grandfather ab Alman obviously I never met him I'm not old enough to have met him but I grew up in a house where these stories were shared over and over and I feel that this story from everything I've ever heard about gum is the most important for someone who wants to have influence on another human being maybe try to direct them tell them what to do yes tell them what to do not tell them what to do imploy hint Etc all those discussions this is the most important thing that we we that I certainly need to know so uh for those who know rabis Alman was a tremendous there that's a separate story in of its own right but he wasn't well he was never well and uh if not for the my great-grandmother would not have been able to marry him and uh he was a very sick man when they got married they thought he would live maybe one year it turned out he lived he outlived my great-grandmother by a few years he lived till his mid 80s but he was never he was never very healthy and people would come to him with their problems and when they came to him with their problems he would take it so to heart that he literally gets sick so somebody came to he by the way he once tried to quit he wanted to quit the ronus he was both rashash and R he was a r of slz and he was Riva no easy task to be to wear two hats or in his case it would have been two stral but he No Easy Task and he went to the and he said I I can't do it I want to quit times you can't you're not allowed to you have a and you're stuck so someone came to his house and asked him a Shila a young man Andis Alman hears the Shila and he goes into the other room if you want to visit his apartment her St show you where the rooms are he goes into the other room and the man is waiting in the in the apartment's about the size of the stage the man is waiting in in the front room he's in the back room and uh my grandmother hears him talking to himself and she hears him crying and crying and crying and she's just crying she goes in and she wants to talk to him what's happening like she always wanted to protect him from stress know he had tremendous stress and he's crying and he says go leave me alone leave me alone and she hears him say is what we have to do and then he says a mench is a mench a person's a person what are we doing he's going back and forth and he's saying but the person's a person the person's a person and my grandmother comes in and wants to calm him down a little bit he didn't have a good he had a weak heart and he sends her out and Fin he comes out and he goes to the man he says something to him and the man leaves and my grandmother says what happened and he looked exhausted he says I was goer that's what he says s goer no want to finish the sentence says I waser like and he was like exhausted from it we said what Happ what happened was in Al can't marry a woman is not going to have children this was a he had come through Alan he had found out that his kala couldn't have children and he asked what does he do so look we're not reformed Jews here there's no question about it Rob is asked sh you have to P but in thinking to pasin to say what is he said what's going to be with the kala the whole Y is gon to find out they gonna know the sh broke off people said why the have break she can't have kids the B that she's gonna have how can I subject her to that b but so what do I do if I tell him you can't get married the biz I can't can't be on my on myin such a Biz and he's going back and forth and he's stuck he doesn't know what to do remember where lit Fox we're not this not even though it's he says he's goer they're gonna have a kid he goes out and he on himself that's aish you hear that he on himself on his Gaz to I know it's not a story it's story but and on that that she could that he could marry her and they got married and they had a child all you know that the reason why lits don't wear is a digression the Zar made X against all the Jews they were not allowed to wear stals cu stal were with the Simmon of nobility so people went to the Zar friends of his you know you got to somebody who knew somebody knew somebody and they they said listen it's a it's a big XA so in Poland he said okay I'm aat the XA but in L they were different regions the the Shad from L weren't as good so they got an exception for ronam so the Y and L were Bann from wearing stel but the raon were allow of wear that's wor but back to the core story people spoke about love before you have to love and all this all this new age stuff when you're in care of you have to be if you're working with another human being and you're giving them advice and you're giving them and if you're ping for them you got to carry that person and you have to carry it in a way that you're ready to be gyser to say this this is what I'm going to do I'll go to the end of the Earth and Beyond to protect that person's strength to protect that person's dignity to protect that person's sense of self that's why personally I don't agree with telling people what to do and I don't agree with in kir of you tell a person do this or do that because my father didn't believe it either and the reason is you have to protect a person's sense of Independence you can never undermine it never undermine that other person who he is permit me to move on to the zarn my grandfather I don't have to say much about him many people know many famous stories but if there's one thing that he had in addition to his capacity to carry and feel the burden of Claus which certainly he did most famously him and Steven wise the rabbi the reformed Rabbi they they had to deal with the Nazis to by Jewish lives and it wasn't easy negotiations the Nazis were no uh you know no no cakewalking negotiations and the Nazis at one point were willing to release a trainload of Jews who were mishad for them it was easy deal they satisfi the Vatican they they released a bunch of Christians and they satisfi the Jews the Jews pay to release Christians so the great reformed Rabbi they talk about AK Steven wise gets up that fighting over whether you could use Jewish money for that and Steven we says these are people they converted to Catholicism they're goam bar said no you have to save them you could save them you have to save them you use our money that we raised on y kippa with Irving bu them all the stories and so the carrying of Claus have but on top of that they have such a passion for Claus such a passion tens of thousands of stories I'll share one of them when he escaped from KET he jumped on to the he came to the train station and the train was so packed with refugees they couldn't get him on the train there was no room so there already one or two bam on the train they opened the window he wasn't so tall and they threw him in through the window onto the train it's escaping the Nazis before his feet landed he ready he always carried a m bur with him see a lot of pictures he had the M bur open he was learning before he before his Fe on the ground the passion for toyra the passion for Claus the willing to go to the ends of the Earth was something that he had and that too is on top of a feeling of a connection to the yiden that you're carrying them it's not enough love love doesn't mean anything to carry the other person's burdens and to do it with a passion to go to the ends of the Earth to go to Washington to go to the mafia all the famous stories do anything to save Aid to help aid to be mid to bring Tyra to yid my father once came home from an A gooda convention and I saw he was very agitated agitated my father didn't get agitated too easily in my lifetime I saw him get upset really upset one time it was a shock to me because I never seen him lose his temper and one time he did lose his temper it turned out for those those who know a little bit of Jewish history that there was an attack on raisha Feinstein raisha wrote a famous tra remember a famous cha and a certain yid a big took exception to the Chua and he wrote a saer against Raa but it got Beyond just a to an assault on risha's stature as the god lar himself there was time I saw my father really get upset but he came home from a good convention he wasn't so upset he wasn't angry but he was upset and I said to my father was a kid but I said to my father ABA why are you upset what happened but maybe somebody insulted him maybe something happened who knows what happened at this AA convention he says to me and he tells me nothing was was worth it it's pretty strong words and remember these were his these were his his colleagues ran raaa I don't think Raa spoke at that convention very the greatest speakers of all time I said ABA what what happened he says to me all the speakers spoke about in Yiddish and I'll translate what we have to do and he says to me we don't have to do anything we want to do we want to do it and his whole methodology the reason why he was certainly the most successful man in the last thousand years in the Jewish people perhaps more because he built the greatest Yeshiva when my father took over Lakewood lak was the same size ASAS n rgj all the shs were the same size by the time he was nifter Lakewood was on a trajectory of 800 go growing like crazy he he established a trajectory he did that he built the greatest sha certainly in size but also in AOS for Our Generation the last thousand years maybe the last 2,000 years other than Rea how many shivas were there in CL with them like this so what did he have what was his secret sauce to be able to take so many people and shape them and form them create a that has saved the Jewish people it's very simple he always believed in elevating the person never putting them down and never telling them what you have to do always finding some way to get that person inside to find what they really want to do in fact he was so focused on that laser focused that there was nothing you could do that can get him off message and if you listen to his Schoen you read his Spar it was always about how elevated we are how elevated CLA is how elevated we are as Jews how amazing we are and if we're making mistakes it's simply that we don't know how incredible we are we don't know our own Godless our own greatness and right in the in the in the great tradition of slatka this feeling of Godless how great you are the Godless of aenta was this whole way of elevating people from ground up so I'll tell you a story when I was a kid theiva had a problem with the fire department not the first of she in history not the last one and most of the BAM had Bots you were probably one of them they had private fridges in the dorms they had private toaster RS there were no microwaves they hadn't been invented yet but all types of stuff going in the dorms fire department got upset fire department said you have to clean out all the private fridges no private appliances in the dormatory the Shiva had no choice they went ahead they built a little kind of like a kitchenet room on each floor of the dorm and they went in notified the Tom them you got to get rid of your toaster ovens you got to get rid of your toasters and your private fridges how do you think the O reacted not so well so um one bucker got really upset and he broke into my father's office and he took construction debris he threw over the desk and he took construction debris and he threw it all over the office threw SP on the floor overturned the couch the desk and it made a whole cbon in the office I came in Friday night with my father to the office and I come in and the office is overturned as a kid I'm so excited like this is a little action here I'm in yiva in Lakewood there's nothing going on in Lakewood there's not even a kosher bakery at the time like there's nothing going on finally little action to overturn the office is going to be gmach going be a Tomo you know kid I'm all I'm all happy you know and uh I look at my father's face there's nothing on his face nothing no reaction Friday night this is by Kabal shabas Friday night men Ritz made a Shalom Z at his home and I went with my father to the Shalom Z every Yesa besides for having T has snitches so by the time we got to the Shalom Z they already knew which B had uh done this so the culprit they got the culprit now what would a mash do or Riva throw him out who knows what who knows what I come with my father to the Shalom zah and that Bak I already knew everyone knew who the guy was that Bak was there by the Shalom Z my father says to me iron call him over Ruba call him over I'm so excited now I'm going to see this guy get a public dressing down it's like it's be the highlight of my of my year probably nothing more exciting ever happened to lakew one than that is it like so exciting and I go over to the bak and I said rashba wants to see you Baka turns a little white um he hesitates but he has no choice and he comes over and I'm like waiting for the big explosion and my father says to him in Yiddish you you know you're in your she a few years already I never invited you for a meal and tomorrow you come to me for the suda tomorrow you come bker was like he doesn't want to be on this hook no way he's also expecting who knows what's going to happen next maybe they'll even beat him up you never know you know and he's and he says I can't R she no I'm not taking over for answer you're coming for the so tomorrow and this went on for about 15 minutes finally he said okay he's going to come he came for the soo the next morning nothing not a word next shabas Friday my father sends me to the dorm to find the Baka to call him to the house Baka figured now he's going to get his now now is his time father said you know we had such a gaka sud maybe come Friday night to us he ended up as been biased by us in the house he never said a word you have to you did wrong you're bad you're this you that what wasn't his vocabulary in fact when there were problems in the yiva and another time there were similar similar types of problems you know the shmooing were always in the afternoon there were never shmooing in the morning morning was firsta and um you know muser in general was not very well accepted in Kut there were stender fights over muser in the good old days so scho were in the afternoon and my father sets up what's the equivalent of an emergency scho at the end of first AER and gets AO and he talks about the Godless of aent the Godless of a from person the Godless of Anem doesn't say a word no everyone's like what's going on it turned out that also there was a big incident in Yeshiva some B had done some really bad stuff and his response to their misbehavior that probably violated every rule so to speak of what's acceptable what was a sense in himself they don't know how could they do that they don't know their own greatness if they knew their own greatness they never would have done that so what do I have to do I have to speak to them about their greatness to criticize them if I criticize them and they don't know the greatness they're still they they're still not going to know their own greatness and that was his entire style for those who knew him to go ahead and build Tal them by never criticizing never putting down never knocking always just elevating elevating and elevating the person man it's not easy living in a house like that because my father never said to me what I have to do but as a kid he was always elevating us also as a matter of fact I found it embarrassing when I was 5 years old I told him a V and by the time I was like 16 like we're meeting the S Reber raisha and he'd be telling them when when I was 5 years old I said this V over and he says he would tell it over with such a g like as if he's quoting the greatest medus the greatest the greatest reik like that was his way of elevating people never putting the other person down I certainly think that for those who would like to be involved in being Mash on other people as we said before don't love them feel their burden go far beyond love and carry their burden have a lot of passion if you're not passionate ignite that passion and never put them down always Elevate them and if you have a person it could be from not from and you want to you want to inspire if you're a raw if you're in a community and you have problems in your communities or you're doing care of whatever it is that you're doing Elevate the other person Elevate Elevate Elevate and that's why incidentally you don't see a whole lot of social critique if you go online which is a horrible place to be it's almost as bad as the real world you see everybody online they're always everybody's Hawking this that why aren't they doing this why aren't they doing that they should do this they should do that everybody's filled all the suddenly all the angry people congregate in one place and people wonder like why don't the rashash shivas do a b or c why don't they say x why don't they stand up whatever and the the answer is that it's really not in the Messiah it's just not in the Messiah the Messiah is if we haven't done a good enough job at elevating people stay on message how amazing you are and if especially if you meet a fry yid I if I meet a fry they tell me they were a Jew what I want to convey to them is do you know about your heritage you know how amazing your history is you know the thousands of years of the most powerful history in the World Behind you do you know what you represent and even if you don't represent it very well you still represent it you are a Jew who is a prince among the Nations and they really know that even I mean Gentile I have a lot of Gentile friends I know not not very close but a lot of gentile people they all tell me the same thing they know the Jewish people are the princes among the nations of the earth and sometimes they'll criticize for us for it sometimes they'll be rough on us for it but the fundamental recognition of what it means to be the ammaar I was uh shook you're going to appreciate this I walked out of South Fallsburg yiva with my Riv reel on R after a beautiful doing and we're walking down the road to yal housing and a car of uh Gentile youth drive by they see a few people in tesm and they start honking the horns and screaming some some of their choice words at us and all and I'm like again you get excited like should we call the cops we you do what should we do and all that and rebell we just left which to paraphrase that you know there's an expression we work and they work we work and we get they work they don't get you know the honking the horn like it meant nothing to him it didn't even register on his Consciousness a sense of whoa wait a minute these people they hate us they want to kill us they want to hurt us whatever it is and as a r what I saw in rebella Bear was this remarkable Focus shooki am I right I mean one time his couch was on fire you know the story yeah without saying to his couch was on fire they can't said to him sh couch was on fire he says fire out okay back if it's not out okay put it out like like why why you coming to me incredible Focus no no no no no that's different even rabar you should just know that when the zus escaped so when he got to Japan so you had to jump on the ship the ship was there was like a rope ladder or a gang walk and it wasn't easy to get on it wasn't like a nice uh you know princess whatever cruise this was uh these were Freighters and soam was trying to get up this like rope ladder holding on to his briefcase of his suam he wouldn't he didn't want to let go with the suam and um so uh but it it wasn't easy you know one-handed so sailor grabbed theam and threw them onto the boat the second he did that like a rocket he shot up to go after theam on that and also my wife remembers when my we had a small fire in my mother's house one AR of Kaneka one Kaneka and my mother literally my wife is trying to drag her out of the house and my wife was in the study she broke open the window and she's throwing the CU out her house is burning down not calling the fight Apart Nothing getting the CU out focus focus focus focus focus I was privileged to learn by the great R of Sal anyone here have a meet salic cousin you yeah meet the great Sal he must be I don't know how old he is today he must be 90 he was a little younger then but I was privileged to learn with him it was a small Yeshiva and he was so on fire with learning he was so engaged with it that unbelievable Kusa but a very tough to a point where I once finished learning about 1:00 a there was no idea you finish learning at you learn 9 to 11 or 9 to 12 or 10 to 12 you learn till you're at a break in the learning you're able to take that break in the learning so he's at that point was a break in learning I go to sleep 2:30 in the morning there's somebody waking me up my Riva came to my door room he he didn't leave the Bas mess and he whatever problem we're having the su he had figured out and he came to wake me up how can you sleep dragg me back to the Bas madish back to the Bas madish to go all that and it didn't happen once it happened so often I really I really wanted to ditch my Kusa it's kind of hard you know but the gum what they had and they have is such an incredible Focus so like rebella be like RIT so focused on EMS that nothing nothing nothing could distract them I'd like to share something about riran lake with Risha my cousin I had many brainstorms running BMG some of them were good brainstorms some of them were bad brainstorms but I had many brainstorms I had a brainstorm to arrange discounts this is way back it's hard to understand the old days but discounts for rashab in Thea we're going to arrange discounts we went around I had someone go to all the stores and there's not that many rashab and give them discounts whatever 20% 30% different St I'm doing a favor to the rash kabur Kido I have the program ready to go I have a meeting with the Russia Yeshiva I said we have this amazing thing I did the math saving them $2 million a year whole math all that but there was amazing thing for Russ says to me you're not doing it can't do it I'm like why not look at this amazing look what I just did I I'm I'm I'm the king look what I just did I saved the rush all this money he says you're not doing it can't do it why not he says I want to tell you a story he was the first my father married off the schwarzman he was the first the first KAS when he came to his my father went over to the person doing the calling out for the BR this this this uncle whatever and he says no titles just go over to the person quietly call them up don't call it anybody so is feeling a little bit you know like all these is coming it's like it's a good feeling you're at your you want all these people to be there you know to be announced look look who's here and uh so he said you know qu to my uncle to my my my father his uncle says why not father says here who are real serious but they never pursued a job they never pursued what's called inella and they're not getting called up and they're going to see someone else get called up with a title with a name and they're going to feel a little bit ofish a little bit of sense of you are R from the other person the other look look how that person made it and I didn't make it father says I can't do that so my family I don't know that I kept it so well but in my family the minut was by is no calling up no no whatever R this r that go over to the person you got the first BR you got the second BR you the third so said to me you think you're helping rash he said the world is filled Lake what is filled with who are sitting and learning who didn't choose to be and they're going to hear that there's a special program to help R and they're not part of that program they're gonna have he says better no one should get the benefit than to make a person feel bad that to make a one you sh a feel bad so I went back I negotiated and ended up I made a deal with them every every young man over a certain age was uh accepted into the program I have to go back to the stores rework the model with the stores which worked out and we ended up as a discount program for people over a certain age let's not get carried away by the mission to save and help the Jewish people all this it's almost feels feels Messianic to me like we're going to save the Jewish people let's not get carried away with it let's just remember let's Elevate each and every yid let's connect to each and every yid let's bring them as himself always would say this the life we live it's not we don't learn to it's it's our life blood that is the life we live is the life of Tyra and as we do that if you're going to try to have influence on another person to be hyper hyper hyper sensitive so that you never hurt the person you never manipulate them you never pressure them you never overstep a boundary you never in any way make that person feel that you're there for any other reason than to carry them and to care about them and if you really care about that other person and you're really nier their all that's the biggest hasah that you can have on another person thank you and a good