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good evening everybody welcome my wife
Dena and I want to thank you all for
coming
participating in tonight's presentation
which is proudly sponsored by you by net
which really means that you all
sponsored tonight see we are all
building Jerusalem together we want to
thank you most of all we want to welcome
rabbi Twersky for gracing us with his
presence and then it's unusual of course
for allowing us to use their facilities
this evening before I can actually
introduce the speaker just what I
mentioned at the end there's a nice
presentation you actually you can
already buy books now but Pomerance
tightly brought the rabbi's new book and
he will be signing them at the end of
the evening
if anybody like the purchase of book
first aside but rabbi please do so also
at the end of the lecture if there's any
like pressing crisis issues you would
like to speak to now bye we're strongly
suggesting not to take that much time at
the moment at the end of the lecture but
you can find his email address by me
come to me and I'll give his email
address tonight's lecture is dedicated
legally the Shabbat of or in myth il
medicine at the end of tonight's
presentation and guard your eyes will
give us a very short presentation and no
time not to explain
so tonight we're privileged to hear from
one of the great men of our generation
rabbi dr. Barbara parsley stems from a
long line and preceded Giants of which
nerble and sans dynasties and traces his
ancestors of baal shem tov founder of
the caseta delusion dr. sapersteins
murdering rabbi he held the pulpit until
1959 when he graduated from Marquette
University Medical School and went on to
complete a psychiatric residency at the
University of Pittsburgh Western
Psychiatric Institute for 20 years he
served as clinical director of the
department psychiatrist at Sciences
hospital Pittsburgh and was an associate
professor of psychiatry at the
University of Pittsburgh School of
Medicine he has been awarded honorary
degrees from secrets of college Dukan s
University in Indiana and Indiana
University of Pennsylvania based on the
scientific contributions and community
efforts in his rabbinic career he has
proved to be a prolific writer of Jewish
books and of Torah themed lectures he
was Co spiritual leader of congregation
met Betty hood up with his father for
ordination until 1959 rabbi twist is
lectured extensively on chemical
dependency and other topics but the
stress self-esteem and spirituality in
addition dr. Christie has travelled the
world as a spokesman for recovery on
behalf of the millions who have achieved
it and with goals to inspire encourage
and challenge those still finding their
way Robert or skis medical career
includes gateway moon Hill
rehabilitation center of Pittsburgh
which he founded and serves as medical
director emeritus clinical director of
the department of psychiatry associate
professor was like I
University of Pittsburgh School of
Medicine and the founder of sharp
particular rehabilitation center for
prisoners in Israel
torski clearly presents the theme of
alcoholism not as a modern American
phenomenon but rather as part and parcel
of rabbinical diskless discipline
so those who claim that the problem with
addictive behaviors secondary or even
peripheral to the observant Jew rabbi
Twersky says what cannot consider myself
to be truly observing if one legs blue
star and her head loosens house dealing
with the psycho psychological mechanism
of denial which can blind a person to
you the most obvious self-destructive
behavior I would like to take a few
minutes a few moments to share my own
personal experience I have been active
in recovery since 1982 that's 34 years
of reading rabbit reverses books I
actually grew up with a thick book with
our focus not miss my home as my mother
was in recovery as well having had a
spiritual awakening when I was 16 years
old never never to return to drugs I
still had a long battle in front of me
it's a lot of work I'm standing here
today let you all know that it works as
the big book describes addiction as
spiritual illness and that the solution
is a spiritual solution which is
certainly a hard pill to swallow part of
the fight for a sector the Jewess
Edwards was Haiti was started in 1935
the big book of ADA was only published
in 1939 after four years of AJ's
existence for those pioneering excuse me
use the Bible as their manual until they
were able to publish succinctly what
worked for them and enough stories of
success for others to policy I was
privileged to have one of my own sponsor
someone who was sponsored by one of the
original group not only really big know
this whole concept not only my own
recovery but the idea really
my understanding of all world as well I
just want to end up by letting you know
how important this message is tonight
not only addictions and compulsions but
for other behavior problems as well
here's a short list in case any of you
feel commune or are open to a rude
awakening being Restless irritable
discontented having trouble with
personal relationships not being able to
control one's emotional nature's being
printed crates who suffer from misery
and depression not being able to make a
living around we're a happy and
successful life having feelings of use
of uselessness being full of fear
unhappiness inability to be a real help
to other people being like the actor who
wants to run the whole show being driven
by hundred forms of pure self delusion
self seeking of self being self will run
riot leading a double life living like a
tornado running through the lives of
others and establishing selfish
inconsiderate these maladies identified
and by a common identify or
self-centeredness which is believed to
be the root of the troubles to the
diction participating in hopes that
program is intended to replace
self-centered and with a broad moral
consciousness a willingness for
self-sacrifice of unselfish constructive
action two years in 12-step programs
this is known as a spiritual awakening
or a religious experience without
further ado
[Applause]
good evening everyone thank you so much
for a wonderful introduction Aaron you
know just gone through a very tumultuous
period in the Jewish calendar beginning
with let's play the cello and all of the
tried each other and then Rosh Hashanah
does house made you pay Yom Kippur we
had a single Sukkot
my father used to tell a story about a
Hasidic Rebbe I don't remember who it
was who Friday night of this coming
shibata's about militias stood up to
make a key dude and he took the cup of
wine and the see them were sitting
around and he stood there with a cup of
wine on his hand and closed his eyes and
meditation and he stood there and he
stood there and he stood there and time
went on eventually the cup of wine fell
off and he still stood there with his
hands outstretched for an unspecified
period of time finally he opened his
eyes and came to and he explained to his
Hasidim what had happened he said you
know when a merchant goes to the
marketplace and dispensed whatever time
there is and making a transaction
buying merchandise selling merchandise
disposing of some things whatever he's
too busy to make a calculation of what
did I accomplish how much profit that I
make what kind of losses that I
sustained the first station the first
Oasis which is free of all of these
activities is Shama Pritchett we're
through with all of the called the
shovel and tells my children and mrs.
Kota he says the first opportunity that
I had just like the first of the
merchant who leaves the market but the
first hotel that he said that he takes
out all of his papers takes of all the
records reviewed the transactions and he
comes to some conclusion of what did I
achieve during my period on the market
so the Rebbe said this is what happened
with me for the past six weeks so I was
attracted to chewer trying to dispose of
my evaders I was trying to do missus and
so I had a lot of transaction between me
and I caught visual but I didn't have
time to see to make a sum on summation
of it
what can I accomplish tonight was the
first opportunity I had after all of the
transactions to see what did I
accomplish so it took me a while to
think over what I have accomplished
during the last month and a half
I'm impressed by that story because
sometimes we don't take that kind of
stock you know there is a tradition that
it is best of the day after Yom Kippur
2000 in the morning for every dollar on
Yom Kippur why because the Sultan
is always out to condemn us
and so after Yom Kippur he says to him
yeah you're so happy with your children
just so proud of your Jewish children
yes yesterday they spent the whole 24
hours than Yom Kippur the world day this
morning at Dominion they said in order
to silence the criticism of the serpent
which a thousand that morning after Yom
Kippur at the seneschal that we done and
I think it's important to take a look
after all that we've gone through in the
past month what have we come up with
because where the circle is telling our
Chinese yeah for that whole month they
were fine but now on their - Yom Kippur
it's business as usual whatever they
were before that's what they are now and
they have not achieved anything that
would be a terrible shame when we say on
in :
Sukkot and qohelet how called hovel that
everything is nothingness it does not
refer to this part of our behavior that
we have to come away with something come
away with what there are monsters in
teshuva
and incidentally I think we failed to
grasp the greatness of the phenomenon of
Cuba the Talmud told that Hashem created
teshuva before creation of the world the
world could not begin to exist without
you and then it's a tremendous gift
remission to us so if you think about it
what is so special about it
suppose that a person offends someone
else and you realize there was a mistake
circles over to ministers I'm sorry
about what I said I'm sorry about what I
did was foolish of me and so the other
person forgives them so what's a bit
about that what then I shall have to
make a special creation of jewel it's a
perfectly logical thing so person
realizes that one made mistakes is a
story about it and apologizes so they
should be forgiven it's not an
understanding of teshuva then we fall
short of the mark because you see the
things that I Shem tells us not to do
are not in order to benefit I said ego
States is very clearly right if you've
done good what do you think you've
contributed to a shed and if you've done
wrong what do you think you've done to
hurt him
that shame is beyond being affected by
us the Torah and mistress and
particularly the middle our character
traits our personality traits right
those are the basis of what we were
intended to be by Hashem and as a human
being and I think we failed to realize
that and it may seem like a good fit to
say this that the overwhelming majority
of the world of the population have no
idea why they're existing now surely our
Muslim teachers teach us that pleasure
should not be the goal of life and I
came across a quote not by a loser but
by Albert Einstein in Albert Einstein
said it said to my way of thinking a
golden life of contentment and pleasure
and happiness is perfectly suitable for
a herd of swine
yep now about Musa it was the greatest
physicist in the world and it's
unfortunate that if you read the Iceland
philosophy then it's just one tiny step
short of having achieved the Thoreau
philosophy because he wasn't exposed to
it but I have on my desk they say so
which never leaves my desk
not that I learned in did it every day I
should but at least it's there to remind
me it to remind me that the first
chapter begins in the silica shearing
kavacha dum de Illinois what is the
person's obligation in the world
unfortunately too many people don't
think about that in the 1960s there was
a term was coined if it feels good do it
right and then if you take a look at the
what kind of disaster that has wrought
and just in the past week the
announcement of a new drug that is now
killing off young people by the dozens a
new drug that is ten times as potent of
ten times as dangerous as heroin and yet
young people go for it
why because if the goal of life is
seeking pleasure right said it makes
perfectly good sense you know when Nancy
Reagan the first lady during Reagan's
administration when Nancy Reagan tried
to
curved the use of drugs my program just
say no to drugs and some people went
around asking young people what they
thought of this idea of just say no to
drugs and one 14 year old young woman
said why what else is there now our
country has started billions and
billions I'm sorry if I said then I'm
still going back to the days when I was
a citizen American dweller no longer on
our country this is my country the US
government has spent billions and
billions of dollars trying to curb the
use of drugs and nothing is working
nothing is working and nothing can work
as long as that 14-year old the other
woman's question is unanswered what else
is there
it would seem that religion had the
answer and unfortunately there's been so
much distortion of religion that even
that is not the answer but they're not
even asking the question what is my
purpose on earth and the reason they
don't ask the question is because they
don't think that the world has a purpose
you know we can believe that the world
has a purpose because when whatever it
is we cannot understand why Sam's mind
but I shan't had a reason for creating
the world I can't understand it but no
one can understand their sin but in as
much as the Sham created the world
there was a reason that he did it and in
this created world right which has a
purpose for its existence
Shem gave us the Torah to tell us what
our mission his in this world okay you
say that takes a moment granted but
people who don't believe in creation
they don't believe in I said they don't
believe in God how did the world come
about well what happened was then
fourteen billion years ago or even more
there was a freak accident where energy
condensed itself and formed into matter
it was a freak accident it could have
not happened there was nothing that made
it happen with just a freak accident and
then once matter was created it evolved
over fourteen or billion years or more
into what we have now you know you might
say that believing in the God is not
logical right believing that the world
developed into what it is now over 14
billion years with how the designer is
even more illogical well according to
people who don't say that ascent created
that God created the world then the
world happened as an accident so there's
no purpose of the world existence it's
only purposeful if it was created for a
purpose but if it happened there's a
freak accident no purpose to it and if
the world as a whole does not have a
purpose how can any individual as an
individual have a purpose in the
purposeless universe well you might say
yes but you know we can have fine
character traits we can help each other
and be kind to each other that reminds
me the story of the two loafers to
fragrance who were arrested for
loitering and they were brought before
the judge the judge turns to the first
vagrant that he says what we're doing
arrested god says nothing for the second
one it says and what were you doing when
Austin arrested ooh he says I was
helping him how much can you be
accomplishing if you're helping someone
who's doing nothing and if we have an
entire population an entire population
of the world who was not created for any
purpose right so I don't tell anyone can
have any ultimate purpose and without
any ultimate purpose then it makes
perfectly good sense to say there is no
purpose in life there is no meaning in
life have as much fun as you can because
the world is supposed to be a huge crazy
amusement park a huge playground when I
grew up it was back to easy to believe
that because the sea in the 1930s the
world was not exactly a comfortable
place to be you know in the United
States at that time the average life
expectancy was before less than 50 and
there was many diseases which people
died of because there were no
antibiotics and young people I remember
young people dying of pneumonia every
major city of the United States hella
tuberculosis sanitarium which killed
many people our house that I lived in
was quarantined many times because of
childhood diseases and I had them all
measles chicken pox whooping cough lumps
I hadn't known there was no immunization
travel was difficult you know at that
time to get from it's a miracle to what
the was that time Palestine took six
weeks
we do it now in ten hours and at the end
of six hours we do with chomping at the
bits one iteration I traveled from
Milwaukee to California by train 60
hours two days and three nights
there was no ways of communication there
certainly were no cell phones there's
certainly no smartphones and there was
no email and there were no fax machines
and you know when the weather got real
hot and it was 98 degrees outside you
sweat bullets there was no
air-conditioning the workplace was a
workplace there were no electronics and
much work was physical the kitchen
wasn't workplace there were no
dishwashers no frozen foods they'll take
us no microwaves you know something I
sometimes fantasize if in the 1930s
somebody would have been told what life
is gonna be like in 2016 all the ease of
transportation the many TV infectious
diseases have been overcome progress
being made even toward cancer powerful
medications available that save lives a
home that it's full of electronic
conditions and you can see anything that
you want to from any part of the world
within seconds they would say you know
if you were to tell me somebody's in
1938 this would happen they would say
can't be that's impossible
but if that does happen that will have
been an achievement of gun
the paradise in this world you know was
it I believe that the people in 1930
were fortunate to be able to think that
human beings could create a paradise but
here we are in 2016 and we are living in
the paradise that man has created and if
this is paradise you know I sure wonder
what can happen is like there's still so
much suffering and there's so much
brutality there's so much selfish and I
said and I have the opportunity of
watching how some people have been able
to change their lives because they see
what is an advert there are many
definitions but whether one is addicted
to alcohol or to kill to cocaine or to
heroin or to gambling or addicted to sex
although the kind of things are a person
losing control over one's animalistic
desires you know we come to the world of
animals in any of its cells are not even
better you can't look at the world as a
wild mule and from this wild wheel
Hashem wants us to make something that
is closer until angels know we're not
supposed to become angels we're supposed
to be human beings right but especially
something more than intellectual animals
and here we have a a entire culture
which is highly educated and the first a
human being as a homo sapiens what does
that mean if you translate from the
Latin into English it means a gorilla
with
with intelligence welcome me that's an
insult I don't want to be considered
intelligent gorilla and if life has no
alternate purpose then I think that the
people who say it's it's a playground
it's an amusement park get all the fun
you can as long as you can and if it
feels good do it now you would think
that the tower world which has such
wonderful principles is not effective
like that but we see that Mohammed tells
us otherwise
London says we are influenced by our
environment so the secular world has
said if it feels good with this and so
much of the turul world has said if it
feels good and its culture do it in the
Lombardy and Veneto chapter 19 comes all
it says no that's not so you can be a
novella Shusett or you can be a vulgar
person and be in total compliance with
everything of the Torah and that's why
the pilothouse says the primary interim
even more important than the Mitchells
that's a bold statement to make even
more important than Mitsos is the
character traits the Torah recorders and
he says what we say
sadaqa is a great Mitzvah right give me
a list Esther there's a great mr.
overcoming our anger our resentment it's
a great mission all of these wonderful
character traits why doesn't that tell
the salmon specifically that it's a
mixer to do HESA we know how to submit
that to happen because I promise
the biblical characters are our teachers
in some behind Vuitton I said Mary this
is a good question why doesn't the Torah
make it direct explicit teaching about
character traits as being missus he's
and he says because you cannot give him
mitzvahs to a human being who doesn't
have character traits if he doesn't have
proper me dot right then he cannot be
accepting of Torah and this is what the
Rambam said you can be observance of
course of the greatest degree and that
doesn't stop you from being an avowal
for being a crude vulgar person so what
should we have accomplished in this past
month we should have tried to change
ourselves into being something more than
a novella issue satire something more
than looking for more and more ways to
adjoin I'm not a killjoy
right it's wonderful to have enjoyment
in fact when the spring time we make a
blower when the Pacific fruit trees
begin to blossom and the brother we say
that we thank a sham for creating a
world to give ha Noah to his creatures
Hashem wants us to enjoy the world but
he wants us to join the world as
mentioned not as animals and that's why
the importance of character traits
community but you can only do that
because that calls for sacrifice to be
real of selfishness causes Givi giving
up of oneself and this is where I
learned so much from seeing people who
were addicted to dangerous practices
where there was alcohol or drugs or
sexual promiscuity or pornography or
compulsive gambling and they were driven
to it and they couldn't resist it and
then went on with it for 10 years 10
years and 20 years or 30 years spending
a life
and with motor than by if it feels good
do it and don't think about the
consequences and so I shan't put me in
the place where I was exposed to people
who have lived destructive lives of
self-gratification destructive lives of
simply following their animalistic
desires and having nothing else in life
other than pleasure and this was so that
they brought ruination to themselves and
to their families and then something
happened and they changed the rabbi was
before referred to the changes being a
spiritual awakening what is a spiritual
awakening a spiritual awakening is
simply realizing I was not created to be
a intelligent human animal I was created
to serve Hashem and I see if some people
think oh of Rome Oviedo he his
outstanding achievement was to teach
people that there was one God he's at
that time the world was flooded with
idolatry and they worshiped everything
that they came into the cyclist and this
one says no that was not his main
achievement because a person expects
that God is there to serve Him and to
give senator satisfied his wishes
he said that's also idolatry whenever
Allah when Allah said you were created
to serve Hashem not that I chanted here
to serve you and the service of Hashem
they're doing what a sham once is
sending herself aside that is what has
enabled us to have the kind of
mischievous nefesh the kind of
self-sacrifice as individuals and as a
nation that
to this day and I've seen some people do
that but why did they do it what stops
an alcoholic after 30 years of drinking
to give up they say yes maybe he has
liver disease maybe he was arrested for
drunk driving I've seen cases where that
was not so I've seen cases were the only
thing that happened was that the person
came to a realization I am too good to
let this happen to me
there's a beautiful young man in
Pittsburgh he's not young anymore he was
young when I took him out of jail
in 1972
and he was a young man now he is 44
years free of drugs and it's become a
real Mensch sensitive ready to help any
everyone and some people have through
the phenomenon of addiction they've
learned some important lessons of life
there was one businessman was an
alcoholic and he became sober and
several years after he became sober some
people have a conspiracy to do him in
and they ruined him
they made a bankrupt and I met him one
day and he said to me you know I'm full
of anger and full of bitterness about
what they did to me but I will go to a
meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous tonight
and they'll try to drop off my anger and
resentment because you see doctor if I
hang on to my anger and resentment I
will drink again right this then
realized a spiritual principle that
reason hanging on the grudge to someone
else is absolutely foolishness it's like
having it holding a grudge against
someone one they'll call it except
that's like swallowing poison and
thinking it's going to kill the other
guy and realizing these are destructive
feelings hanging onto anger instead of
getting rid of it is a self-destructive
thing and we should realize ourselves
that we are too good they people to let
this happen to us and so you know I've
written books about self-esteem how can
a person possibly help self esteem if he
doesn't think his life is worth anything
someone has held so clearly and if
there's nothing worth dying for then
there's nothing worth living for
self-esteem is because I believe I have
a function and what is my function well
going through the myriad kind of
lactated objectivity is a very life is a
transient function but it's not an
ultimate purpose there has to be some
ultimate purpose that should give our
lives value what is self esteem what
does it mean to give anything esteem the
word esteem comes from estimate alright
how do you esteem something look around
this house look around your house and
see what value do you give to objects in
the house well some are very useful they
have a function some don't have any
function but they're very decorative
their aesthetic so suppose that you have
a beautiful piece of furniture it's a
grandfather clock but the mechanism
stops and working at it cannot be
repaired well it's a beautiful beautiful
piece of furniture so you keep it but
what happens if your candle boomer goes
Gullah and can't open cans anymore it
doesn't have any aesthetic value it's
not decorative you're not going to hang
it up so what do you do with a candle
for that candle work anymore you get rid
of it because it has no value I think
those are the only values that we have
either something just functional or
something is decorated okay now let's
look at ourselves are we decorative
well some people are fortunate that
they're so beautiful so handsome that
they may consider themselves as that go
dude but even that eventually is going
to pay this in the old age so decorative
is not the value of a human being so
what is the value of you would being
standing in front of a TV with a
six-pack watching a football game I mean
it's not a terrible thing to do if
you're not addicted but it certainly is
not the pride of the dignity of being a
human being that one can find ways to
satisfy satisfy one's desires so the
safer I have on my desk that I never let
leave his mischievous you show them
because it sounds up with her of a sore
thumb but you know something he now has
his own the idea of what that purpose is
and you don't necessarily have to agree
with them but you do have to think about
it what is my purpose whether I agree
with you well how what is my purpose
being an animal is not a dignified
purpose for being and so a spiritual
awakening is discovering that we're too
good to be this now I've read a little
bit of our revolution in the 12-step
program because when people go to
12-step meetings as for example
Alcoholics Anonymous they identify
themselves only by first name because
we're not honest and the person will get
up and say my name is Frank and I'm an
alcoholic and I tell Frank you know you
have to remember that you're an
alcoholic because if you forget it
you're gonna drink again but that is not
all that you are you are a beautiful
person created by God so what I want you
to get up next time to do this until
next time when you go down
you get up and say my name is Frank I am
a beautiful person who's an alcoholic
you have to remember those things if
you're gonna forget that they're an
alcoholic you're gonna drink again
and if you forget that you're a
beautiful person you won't anymore your
reason why not to drinking it and that's
the beauty of you disguise the beauty of
Taylor and how important it is is
because before I sham gave us the Torah
take a look over there yes look how
seriously I said says look you have seen
what I've done for you I have delivered
you from the slavery of Messiah and I've
brought you on wings of eagles to me and
now you will listen to my teachings
right and you will become a king develop
priests and a holy nation and that's
clever solder Berlin right that's what
we are to do and we ought to be proud of
being chosen by a chin to fulfill his
teachings and to make ourselves into the
person that we are supposed to be my
first book one of my first book was
called let us make man and it goes back
to the person of the title work and the
sixth day of creation after God had
created the holy number universe the
millions of galaxies came to the
creation of man as Shannon said not as
let us make a man who whose
participation was ashamed asking for it
and the Bible says it's very obvious he
said everything everything else that I
am created was created in the state of
final perfection an alligator doesn't
have to become anything other than an
alligator it was born an animal it
remains an animal and it follows
mr. from animalistic traits the human
being is supposed to be different
Hashem said you know I could make you
into beautiful perfect spiritual
creature but then it would be an angel
you'd be a mother totally spiritual I
have another one of them already I don't
want another man look I want the
creature who's going to make himself
spiritual I'll give you the tools but
you've got to do the job and that's why
I said not a set of them I will give you
the tools I will give you a potential
and you'd make yourself into an author
that's the secret of Yiddish kit and in
very simple terms of the secret of a
happy family life you know if you if you
keep your ears open by a foot but
there's seven brothers that I recited
two of them they've got both hot wash em
your Excel Hilda that Shem created
ultimate em created man why we
mentioning that why are we saying it
twice because this is what we're telling
the young couple you want the happy that
marriage might be a mansion not an
animal if you're gonna be searching for
your own gratification and you'll be
selfish and ignorant and in the
templates other person's needs
then you're not gonna know them you're
still an animal it's the beautiful
traits that we have learned through
thorough and midlist that if we adopt
them we become real mansion I repeat
this because it was very important to me
and I want to share it with you at age
73 my father developed cancer of the
pancreas he was very well versed in
medicine because for years he'd been
visiting patients in the hospital and
discuss
their conditions with their doctors and
so he Lou I feel about medicine and so
he called me and he said four cats of
the peccaries there's no treatment
so sometimes surgery but it was out
surgery there's no treatment and
chemotherapy doesn't do anything for
cancer the pancreas I said no it doesn't
the chemotherapy has a lot of painful
side effects yes now if taking
chemotherapy would extend my life then I
think I'd be obligated to do it and
accept the discomfort but if it's not
gonna can extend my life and all its
going to do is give me these distressing
side-effects doesn't make any sense to
do it I said you're right all right so
we've come to a conclusion but we're not
gonna do chemotherapy yes you're right
if my mother talks to the doctor and the
doctor says to her mrs. luskey there is
not much we can do for the rabbi we
could try chemotherapy maybe we could
get an additional three months and my
mother said three months well you'd have
to do killer therapy for three days and
so she came into my father's room and
she said no you're going to take
chemotherapy no I observe if the bus
after she left the room my father said
to me
you know unfortunately that mother was
given misinformation
she thinks that came looking sheriff
he's going to extend my life but you
know if I refuse the chemotherapy you
know what her reaction is gonna be when
I die why did I not insist on it if I
had
could still be alive and then she'll
feel guilty for not having insisted on
it I don't want to leave the world with
mom feeling guilty about so I'll take
the chemotherapy I know it's not gonna
convert anything for me other than it'll
prevent mother from having to feel
guilty that's what the event
yard said her album that is what is
being a match
setting aside one's own comfort in order
to prevent someone else from feeling bad
and that famous autumn ll a lovely no
alligator kid does that no bear can do
it no lizard can do it no people can do
it this is something unique for a human
being and this is what it takes us to be
mentioned rather than intellectual
intellectual animals and so I spent so
many years talking about addiction and
there may be a little bit of a foot spa
that I find a little bit of identity
with the grey theame yello-ha Novi who
told us him why are you sending me to
tell people things they don't want to
hear and I started off in the nineteen
about 30 years ago 40 years ago telling
people this idea that shikre's that
going is not true
alcoholism is prevalent among Jews they
wouldn't listen
drug addiction is prevalent among the
Jews they wasn't listen there is no
immunity a person could be a talented
scholar and give me a compliment be
subject some of these addictions they
didn't want to listen compulsive
gambling is an addiction we're not
immune to it
and then in the last two decades the
Sutton had a major victory by
infiltrating our lives with immorality
bringing the indecency in the obscenity
and the filth of pornography into our
homes and many years ago I think was
found 12 years ago where I received a
letter from a young man who's a good DTV
student and he said I'm caught in this
trap of pornography I've tried every way
to get out of it including psychotherapy
and I'm trapped and the end this letter
by saying you're hearing the last gasp
of a drying soul and twelve years ago I
had nothing to offer him but then a few
years later something came upon the
Jewish sin which has not been adequately
appreciated and there is a group of
young people have gotten together and I
said use these fight fire with fire
fight fight the evil of the Internet
with a teaching a positive teaching of
the internet teach people how to guard
their eyes how to guard their souls how
to guard their bodies how to avoid a
beauty of using the bad advice him gave
them and so we now have a wonderful
program called guard your eyes and I am
personally aware of hundreds of people
young men and young women and older men
and older women who have been saved by
guard your eyes and again there is no
immunity I wish we could say that if a
person took some pills every day and
keeps Shabbat that that is the solution
I wish that were true
unfortunately people who have been
observant than every other way have
fallen trapped into the trap of
addiction the sexual addiction
pornography and I found that the 12-step
program hasn't worked where nothing else
has worked and so I wrote the book -
Sheila through recovery that recovery
will tell us what she was really about
Rambam says that Shiva means becoming a
different person in any hotel Huish I'm
not the same person who behaved the way
I did I no longer do that and that has
been be the greatness of the 12-step
program and it's true it wasn't designed
by Bill Wilson who was not Jewish but he
didn't design it he just stole it from
the safe level so in fact if Bill Wilson
would be alive today I would have him
soon for some plagiarism because if you
go through the 12 steps one by one and
I've written a book about it if you go
through this one by one and it's in this
book also you will see how these these
are the principles of moosa' of making
yourself into a different person
and not deceiving yourself there's one
alcoholic who said to me you know doctor
and all my years of drinking I never
once took a drink unless I decided it
was the right proper thing to do at the
time
that's how you can deceive yourself
right that's the destructor
self-deception and as I said all forms
of addiction including smoking and never
forget that there try to never to forget
mentioning smoking smoking is a terrible
addiction and in fact many of the first
come have said that it's absolutely
to smoke cigarettes occurring Thalassa
and I must tell you that when I see
sometimes going to achieve it and it
sees the young people smoking as they
hate missing the boat they're missing
the bullet I have a book called V from
bondage to Liberty which is her finish
of her girdle Tessa one addict who had
recovered four years of drug ADIZ was as
his father said that and the father said
started reading the Haggadah a vadim he
knew and this young man said his father
Abba can you truthfully say about
yourself have edema you knew that you
personally weren't as it you say about
the my you know our ancestors thousands
of years ago you don't know what it
means to learn of it I can tell you what
it means to be a nervous because all
those years that I was addicted to drugs
I was eleven I was not free I could not
live the way I wanted to my tasks
Westers was drugs I did things in my
life that I never thought I was capable
of doing but the drugs made me do it
and anytime we give up our freedom
whether we become addicted to
pornography or addicted to alcohol -
drugs or - gambling or to food or to
smoking or whatever if we lose our
Liberty we're back in Messiaen having
created our own power and that's
something that we should be careful
though so I wanted to share these ideas
with you tonight because we just
finished this wonderful new season
beginning of a new year that is in
session with Misha not Obama to count
the sweet year sweet here for all of us
but realize we have to come away from
the seizure season with a realization of
something that we have achieved and not
to believe that just we did
showing Yom Kippur in ten days of
children that the work is done okay
it has to be done a fresh in a new every
day and if it's the same if we will do
that and work on our spirituality and
our me dot every day and becoming what I
Shem wanted us to be a true other rather
than a homo sapien intellectual gorilla
right we all merit the blessings of
courage well brother because human
big-ass mystical awfulness at the rabbi
mentioned in his introduction we're
going to have some information about
guarantee rise characterized as far as
I'm concerned is the only effective
method that we've had for stopping
people from being slaves to a addiction
which is breaking their lives ruining
families and ruining children so and it
turned it over now to guard your eyes
[Applause]
my name is Ellie unguarded your eyes I'm
known by my username hopeful I was
struggling with my internet problem for
many years but thanks to G ye
guard your eyes now I am 632 days claim
one day at a time I used to feel like
such a hypocrite
like I was living a double life having
because then they hide my dark side for
my wife my family my friends I wasn't
who I appeared to be on the outside it
was terrible I tried to stop so many
times but I felt stuck I was sure I
would take my secret to the grave but
since I discovered gyd everything has
changed dramatically for the better I
feel like I got my life back my children
have a functional father my marriage has
never been better I'm free to do
whatever I put my mind to it turns out
that I have a lot of interests outside
of internet shmutz
which I'd consumed so much of my time in
the past now when I shape the rabbi's
hand I no longer think to myself if he
only knew guard your eyes currently has
over 10,000 members from all walks of
life spanning the entire spectrum of our
community so if you are also struggling
the first thing you should know is that
you're not alone the Internet is so
accessible and anonymous that these
struggles have become a widespread
problem great rabbis have also
recognized the pervasive nature of this
challenge every single second another
person is falling prey to this to the
each other
knowing guard sheet from you can do the
try to save your home we can catch you
this little fuse of shame and people
just overcome by we're talking about an
affliction that is hitting thousands of
big families it's uh I don't know that
there's ever been a more serious problem
food quality source condition that which
we have known and the only weapon we
have against the only one in copyright
term is ageism movement actually the
only the only weapon we have their
disposal and it's an international
weapon that we have which is affected
guard your eyes has helped thousands of
people to break free for the first time
there is real hope the tools of gie were
developed by experts based on the shared
experience of hundreds of people who
broke free themselves to protect your
privacy some tools are only available to
members but you don't need to divulge
your name or any personal information
it's actually recommended that you open
an anonymous email account and utilize a
made-up username registration is
completely free and will give you access
to all the tools as soon as you want
remember you'll get your own personal
homepage which will be your portal to
all the features on the site and we'll
guide you through the tools
gie helps people in the entire spectrum
of this struggle whether someone just
started slipping or whether they have
been struggling for decades
have tried everything GUI e will help
them find the tools that will work best
for them that's why they are divided
into three levels blue orange and red if
you are new to the site you are invited
to start with the tools of the blue
level the tools of this level can be
used on your own and do not involve
anyone else if you feel you only need a
little help the tools of this level may
be all you need to break free by
providing you with the proper
perspective on this struggle daily
inspiration and the motivation to
succeed when I joined G ye I started
reading through the articles and posts
on the forum and saw how many others
were succeeding I signed up to the email
newsletters to get daily encouragement
and inspiration and I installed a good
filter to put some distance between me
and the temptations in addition G whyis
top six you'll help me set up powerful
offenses and for the first time in my
life I felt like I had a fighting chance
within a few days I was ready to take
the 90 day challenge which is based on
scientific studies that show it takes 90
days to change an addictive pattern in
the brain this was instrumental in
helping me stay focused on a clear goal
for the first crucial months of my
journey thanks to the guidance of the
GUI e handbook and the other tools of
the blue level I no longer felt helpless
I had clear strategies on how to break
free and I saw this struggle in a whole
new life if you've tried the blue level
tools and still feel you need more help
or if you've been struggling for a long
time and are ready to do whatever it
takes it would definitely be a good idea
to also try the tools of the orange
level that's because sometimes this
struggle is so deep that an impact
the way our brains work as a matter of
fact these behaviors have been shown in
studies to be even more addictive than
hard drugs you see just like other
addictive substances such as cocaine and
marijuana inappropriate images flood the
brain with dopamine resulting in an
increased appetite for more and more
when that happens experts say it's
almost impossible to stop without group
support this is because as our own track
records often show us our personal
strengths are simply not enough to
conquer this as our sages say a prisoner
cannot release himself from prison and
as rabbi Twersky one of America's
foremost addiction experts explains even
a good therapist and an addiction can do
nothing without a powerful support group
that's the nature of addiction dr. Ike
has a method to put people in touch with
each other where they can remain
anonymous you can have group meetings
without anybody knowing who you are you
can talk to people to give you hinges
before T you ie group support wasn't
very practical for most people in early
stages of recovery it's unthinkable to
expose themselves to others when dealing
with these sensitive issues but now with
G ye it's finally possible to get group
support even while remaining fully
anonymous when I started using the tools
of the orange level I felt like I
finally come home there was so much
camaraderie on the chat rooms and forms
and by sharing my struggle I got tons of
encouragement and good advice from
others we're in the same boat as me or
even worse off and who managed to break
free some of my G ye friends
got themselves a partner to be in touch
with by email or phone through G II's
partner program but most of all the
Danby phone conference has helped my
recovery jump to a whole new level these
phone groups combined group support with
powerful programs like innate health or
the 12 steps which have helped millions
of people around the world break free of
all kinds of addictive behaviors with
the help of the experienced group
moderators these programs helped me
change my whole outlook not just on the
struggle but there's so many aspects of
my life all in all the tools of the
orange level helps me internalize that I
wasn't alone in this struggle anymore I
have people to reach out to anonymously
when I needed help and that made all the
difference
by the way even though my wife was
supportive of my recovery efforts it
wasn't easy for her to accept my
struggles but thankfully gie has special
forms and phone conferences for spouses
as well where my wife receives
much-needed guidance and support guard
your eyes has a solution for anyone the
red live help has resources that can
help even the toughest situations it
includes tools like coaching and therapy
which can help us deal with underlying
emotional issues which may be hindering
our recovery it also includes the most
powerful solution known for addictions
which is face to face 12-step meetings
although g.y ease 12-step phone
conferences are often enough real
addictions sometimes require taking
recovery is step further and attending
live meetings where we can immerse
ourselves in the program more fully the
bottom line is if we are committed to
breaking free of this problem we can
surely find a way through the many tools
of gids three levels the blue level
getting started
the orange level anonymous group support
and the red level live help it worked
for me and for thousands of others and
I'm sure it will work for you too the
change doesn't always happen overnight
but if you stick around uie keep trying
new things and keep coming back you will
start seeing real changes in your life
in ways you never believed were possible
every journey begins with a single step
take that step today
[Music]
you