Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski - Teshuvah Through Recovery - Yiboneh

good evening everybody welcome my wife Dena and I want to thank you all for coming participating in tonight's presentation which is proudly sponsored by you by net which really means that you all sponsored tonight see we are all building Jerusalem together we want to thank you most of all we want to welcome rabbi Twersky for gracing us with his presence and then it's unusual of course for allowing us to use their facilities this evening before I can actually introduce the speaker just what I mentioned at the end there's a nice presentation you actually you can already buy books now but Pomerance tightly brought the rabbi's new book and he will be signing them at the end of the evening if anybody like the purchase of book first aside but rabbi please do so also at the end of the lecture if there's any like pressing crisis issues you would like to speak to now bye we're strongly suggesting not to take that much time at the moment at the end of the lecture but you can find his email address by me come to me and I'll give his email address tonight's lecture is dedicated legally the Shabbat of or in myth il medicine at the end of tonight's presentation and guard your eyes will give us a very short presentation and no time not to explain so tonight we're privileged to hear from one of the great men of our generation rabbi dr. Barbara parsley stems from a long line and preceded Giants of which nerble and sans dynasties and traces his ancestors of baal shem tov founder of the caseta delusion dr. sapersteins murdering rabbi he held the pulpit until 1959 when he graduated from Marquette University Medical School and went on to complete a psychiatric residency at the University of Pittsburgh Western Psychiatric Institute for 20 years he served as clinical director of the department psychiatrist at Sciences hospital Pittsburgh and was an associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine he has been awarded honorary degrees from secrets of college Dukan s University in Indiana and Indiana University of Pennsylvania based on the scientific contributions and community efforts in his rabbinic career he has proved to be a prolific writer of Jewish books and of Torah themed lectures he was Co spiritual leader of congregation met Betty hood up with his father for ordination until 1959 rabbi twist is lectured extensively on chemical dependency and other topics but the stress self-esteem and spirituality in addition dr. Christie has travelled the world as a spokesman for recovery on behalf of the millions who have achieved it and with goals to inspire encourage and challenge those still finding their way Robert or skis medical career includes gateway moon Hill rehabilitation center of Pittsburgh which he founded and serves as medical director emeritus clinical director of the department of psychiatry associate professor was like I University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and the founder of sharp particular rehabilitation center for prisoners in Israel torski clearly presents the theme of alcoholism not as a modern American phenomenon but rather as part and parcel of rabbinical diskless discipline so those who claim that the problem with addictive behaviors secondary or even peripheral to the observant Jew rabbi Twersky says what cannot consider myself to be truly observing if one legs blue star and her head loosens house dealing with the psycho psychological mechanism of denial which can blind a person to you the most obvious self-destructive behavior I would like to take a few minutes a few moments to share my own personal experience I have been active in recovery since 1982 that's 34 years of reading rabbit reverses books I actually grew up with a thick book with our focus not miss my home as my mother was in recovery as well having had a spiritual awakening when I was 16 years old never never to return to drugs I still had a long battle in front of me it's a lot of work I'm standing here today let you all know that it works as the big book describes addiction as spiritual illness and that the solution is a spiritual solution which is certainly a hard pill to swallow part of the fight for a sector the Jewess Edwards was Haiti was started in 1935 the big book of ADA was only published in 1939 after four years of AJ's existence for those pioneering excuse me use the Bible as their manual until they were able to publish succinctly what worked for them and enough stories of success for others to policy I was privileged to have one of my own sponsor someone who was sponsored by one of the original group not only really big know this whole concept not only my own recovery but the idea really my understanding of all world as well I just want to end up by letting you know how important this message is tonight not only addictions and compulsions but for other behavior problems as well here's a short list in case any of you feel commune or are open to a rude awakening being Restless irritable discontented having trouble with personal relationships not being able to control one's emotional nature's being printed crates who suffer from misery and depression not being able to make a living around we're a happy and successful life having feelings of use of uselessness being full of fear unhappiness inability to be a real help to other people being like the actor who wants to run the whole show being driven by hundred forms of pure self delusion self seeking of self being self will run riot leading a double life living like a tornado running through the lives of others and establishing selfish inconsiderate these maladies identified and by a common identify or self-centeredness which is believed to be the root of the troubles to the diction participating in hopes that program is intended to replace self-centered and with a broad moral consciousness a willingness for self-sacrifice of unselfish constructive action two years in 12-step programs this is known as a spiritual awakening or a religious experience without further ado [Applause] good evening everyone thank you so much for a wonderful introduction Aaron you know just gone through a very tumultuous period in the Jewish calendar beginning with let's play the cello and all of the tried each other and then Rosh Hashanah does house made you pay Yom Kippur we had a single Sukkot my father used to tell a story about a Hasidic Rebbe I don't remember who it was who Friday night of this coming shibata's about militias stood up to make a key dude and he took the cup of wine and the see them were sitting around and he stood there with a cup of wine on his hand and closed his eyes and meditation and he stood there and he stood there and he stood there and time went on eventually the cup of wine fell off and he still stood there with his hands outstretched for an unspecified period of time finally he opened his eyes and came to and he explained to his Hasidim what had happened he said you know when a merchant goes to the marketplace and dispensed whatever time there is and making a transaction buying merchandise selling merchandise disposing of some things whatever he's too busy to make a calculation of what did I accomplish how much profit that I make what kind of losses that I sustained the first station the first Oasis which is free of all of these activities is Shama Pritchett we're through with all of the called the shovel and tells my children and mrs. Kota he says the first opportunity that I had just like the first of the merchant who leaves the market but the first hotel that he said that he takes out all of his papers takes of all the records reviewed the transactions and he comes to some conclusion of what did I achieve during my period on the market so the Rebbe said this is what happened with me for the past six weeks so I was attracted to chewer trying to dispose of my evaders I was trying to do missus and so I had a lot of transaction between me and I caught visual but I didn't have time to see to make a sum on summation of it what can I accomplish tonight was the first opportunity I had after all of the transactions to see what did I accomplish so it took me a while to think over what I have accomplished during the last month and a half I'm impressed by that story because sometimes we don't take that kind of stock you know there is a tradition that it is best of the day after Yom Kippur 2000 in the morning for every dollar on Yom Kippur why because the Sultan is always out to condemn us and so after Yom Kippur he says to him yeah you're so happy with your children just so proud of your Jewish children yes yesterday they spent the whole 24 hours than Yom Kippur the world day this morning at Dominion they said in order to silence the criticism of the serpent which a thousand that morning after Yom Kippur at the seneschal that we done and I think it's important to take a look after all that we've gone through in the past month what have we come up with because where the circle is telling our Chinese yeah for that whole month they were fine but now on their - Yom Kippur it's business as usual whatever they were before that's what they are now and they have not achieved anything that would be a terrible shame when we say on in : Sukkot and qohelet how called hovel that everything is nothingness it does not refer to this part of our behavior that we have to come away with something come away with what there are monsters in teshuva and incidentally I think we failed to grasp the greatness of the phenomenon of Cuba the Talmud told that Hashem created teshuva before creation of the world the world could not begin to exist without you and then it's a tremendous gift remission to us so if you think about it what is so special about it suppose that a person offends someone else and you realize there was a mistake circles over to ministers I'm sorry about what I said I'm sorry about what I did was foolish of me and so the other person forgives them so what's a bit about that what then I shall have to make a special creation of jewel it's a perfectly logical thing so person realizes that one made mistakes is a story about it and apologizes so they should be forgiven it's not an understanding of teshuva then we fall short of the mark because you see the things that I Shem tells us not to do are not in order to benefit I said ego States is very clearly right if you've done good what do you think you've contributed to a shed and if you've done wrong what do you think you've done to hurt him that shame is beyond being affected by us the Torah and mistress and particularly the middle our character traits our personality traits right those are the basis of what we were intended to be by Hashem and as a human being and I think we failed to realize that and it may seem like a good fit to say this that the overwhelming majority of the world of the population have no idea why they're existing now surely our Muslim teachers teach us that pleasure should not be the goal of life and I came across a quote not by a loser but by Albert Einstein in Albert Einstein said it said to my way of thinking a golden life of contentment and pleasure and happiness is perfectly suitable for a herd of swine yep now about Musa it was the greatest physicist in the world and it's unfortunate that if you read the Iceland philosophy then it's just one tiny step short of having achieved the Thoreau philosophy because he wasn't exposed to it but I have on my desk they say so which never leaves my desk not that I learned in did it every day I should but at least it's there to remind me it to remind me that the first chapter begins in the silica shearing kavacha dum de Illinois what is the person's obligation in the world unfortunately too many people don't think about that in the 1960s there was a term was coined if it feels good do it right and then if you take a look at the what kind of disaster that has wrought and just in the past week the announcement of a new drug that is now killing off young people by the dozens a new drug that is ten times as potent of ten times as dangerous as heroin and yet young people go for it why because if the goal of life is seeking pleasure right said it makes perfectly good sense you know when Nancy Reagan the first lady during Reagan's administration when Nancy Reagan tried to curved the use of drugs my program just say no to drugs and some people went around asking young people what they thought of this idea of just say no to drugs and one 14 year old young woman said why what else is there now our country has started billions and billions I'm sorry if I said then I'm still going back to the days when I was a citizen American dweller no longer on our country this is my country the US government has spent billions and billions of dollars trying to curb the use of drugs and nothing is working nothing is working and nothing can work as long as that 14-year old the other woman's question is unanswered what else is there it would seem that religion had the answer and unfortunately there's been so much distortion of religion that even that is not the answer but they're not even asking the question what is my purpose on earth and the reason they don't ask the question is because they don't think that the world has a purpose you know we can believe that the world has a purpose because when whatever it is we cannot understand why Sam's mind but I shan't had a reason for creating the world I can't understand it but no one can understand their sin but in as much as the Sham created the world there was a reason that he did it and in this created world right which has a purpose for its existence Shem gave us the Torah to tell us what our mission his in this world okay you say that takes a moment granted but people who don't believe in creation they don't believe in I said they don't believe in God how did the world come about well what happened was then fourteen billion years ago or even more there was a freak accident where energy condensed itself and formed into matter it was a freak accident it could have not happened there was nothing that made it happen with just a freak accident and then once matter was created it evolved over fourteen or billion years or more into what we have now you know you might say that believing in the God is not logical right believing that the world developed into what it is now over 14 billion years with how the designer is even more illogical well according to people who don't say that ascent created that God created the world then the world happened as an accident so there's no purpose of the world existence it's only purposeful if it was created for a purpose but if it happened there's a freak accident no purpose to it and if the world as a whole does not have a purpose how can any individual as an individual have a purpose in the purposeless universe well you might say yes but you know we can have fine character traits we can help each other and be kind to each other that reminds me the story of the two loafers to fragrance who were arrested for loitering and they were brought before the judge the judge turns to the first vagrant that he says what we're doing arrested god says nothing for the second one it says and what were you doing when Austin arrested ooh he says I was helping him how much can you be accomplishing if you're helping someone who's doing nothing and if we have an entire population an entire population of the world who was not created for any purpose right so I don't tell anyone can have any ultimate purpose and without any ultimate purpose then it makes perfectly good sense to say there is no purpose in life there is no meaning in life have as much fun as you can because the world is supposed to be a huge crazy amusement park a huge playground when I grew up it was back to easy to believe that because the sea in the 1930s the world was not exactly a comfortable place to be you know in the United States at that time the average life expectancy was before less than 50 and there was many diseases which people died of because there were no antibiotics and young people I remember young people dying of pneumonia every major city of the United States hella tuberculosis sanitarium which killed many people our house that I lived in was quarantined many times because of childhood diseases and I had them all measles chicken pox whooping cough lumps I hadn't known there was no immunization travel was difficult you know at that time to get from it's a miracle to what the was that time Palestine took six weeks we do it now in ten hours and at the end of six hours we do with chomping at the bits one iteration I traveled from Milwaukee to California by train 60 hours two days and three nights there was no ways of communication there certainly were no cell phones there's certainly no smartphones and there was no email and there were no fax machines and you know when the weather got real hot and it was 98 degrees outside you sweat bullets there was no air-conditioning the workplace was a workplace there were no electronics and much work was physical the kitchen wasn't workplace there were no dishwashers no frozen foods they'll take us no microwaves you know something I sometimes fantasize if in the 1930s somebody would have been told what life is gonna be like in 2016 all the ease of transportation the many TV infectious diseases have been overcome progress being made even toward cancer powerful medications available that save lives a home that it's full of electronic conditions and you can see anything that you want to from any part of the world within seconds they would say you know if you were to tell me somebody's in 1938 this would happen they would say can't be that's impossible but if that does happen that will have been an achievement of gun the paradise in this world you know was it I believe that the people in 1930 were fortunate to be able to think that human beings could create a paradise but here we are in 2016 and we are living in the paradise that man has created and if this is paradise you know I sure wonder what can happen is like there's still so much suffering and there's so much brutality there's so much selfish and I said and I have the opportunity of watching how some people have been able to change their lives because they see what is an advert there are many definitions but whether one is addicted to alcohol or to kill to cocaine or to heroin or to gambling or addicted to sex although the kind of things are a person losing control over one's animalistic desires you know we come to the world of animals in any of its cells are not even better you can't look at the world as a wild mule and from this wild wheel Hashem wants us to make something that is closer until angels know we're not supposed to become angels we're supposed to be human beings right but especially something more than intellectual animals and here we have a a entire culture which is highly educated and the first a human being as a homo sapiens what does that mean if you translate from the Latin into English it means a gorilla with with intelligence welcome me that's an insult I don't want to be considered intelligent gorilla and if life has no alternate purpose then I think that the people who say it's it's a playground it's an amusement park get all the fun you can as long as you can and if it feels good do it now you would think that the tower world which has such wonderful principles is not effective like that but we see that Mohammed tells us otherwise London says we are influenced by our environment so the secular world has said if it feels good with this and so much of the turul world has said if it feels good and its culture do it in the Lombardy and Veneto chapter 19 comes all it says no that's not so you can be a novella Shusett or you can be a vulgar person and be in total compliance with everything of the Torah and that's why the pilothouse says the primary interim even more important than the Mitchells that's a bold statement to make even more important than Mitsos is the character traits the Torah recorders and he says what we say sadaqa is a great Mitzvah right give me a list Esther there's a great mr. overcoming our anger our resentment it's a great mission all of these wonderful character traits why doesn't that tell the salmon specifically that it's a mixer to do HESA we know how to submit that to happen because I promise the biblical characters are our teachers in some behind Vuitton I said Mary this is a good question why doesn't the Torah make it direct explicit teaching about character traits as being missus he's and he says because you cannot give him mitzvahs to a human being who doesn't have character traits if he doesn't have proper me dot right then he cannot be accepting of Torah and this is what the Rambam said you can be observance of course of the greatest degree and that doesn't stop you from being an avowal for being a crude vulgar person so what should we have accomplished in this past month we should have tried to change ourselves into being something more than a novella issue satire something more than looking for more and more ways to adjoin I'm not a killjoy right it's wonderful to have enjoyment in fact when the spring time we make a blower when the Pacific fruit trees begin to blossom and the brother we say that we thank a sham for creating a world to give ha Noah to his creatures Hashem wants us to enjoy the world but he wants us to join the world as mentioned not as animals and that's why the importance of character traits community but you can only do that because that calls for sacrifice to be real of selfishness causes Givi giving up of oneself and this is where I learned so much from seeing people who were addicted to dangerous practices where there was alcohol or drugs or sexual promiscuity or pornography or compulsive gambling and they were driven to it and they couldn't resist it and then went on with it for 10 years 10 years and 20 years or 30 years spending a life and with motor than by if it feels good do it and don't think about the consequences and so I shan't put me in the place where I was exposed to people who have lived destructive lives of self-gratification destructive lives of simply following their animalistic desires and having nothing else in life other than pleasure and this was so that they brought ruination to themselves and to their families and then something happened and they changed the rabbi was before referred to the changes being a spiritual awakening what is a spiritual awakening a spiritual awakening is simply realizing I was not created to be a intelligent human animal I was created to serve Hashem and I see if some people think oh of Rome Oviedo he his outstanding achievement was to teach people that there was one God he's at that time the world was flooded with idolatry and they worshiped everything that they came into the cyclist and this one says no that was not his main achievement because a person expects that God is there to serve Him and to give senator satisfied his wishes he said that's also idolatry whenever Allah when Allah said you were created to serve Hashem not that I chanted here to serve you and the service of Hashem they're doing what a sham once is sending herself aside that is what has enabled us to have the kind of mischievous nefesh the kind of self-sacrifice as individuals and as a nation that to this day and I've seen some people do that but why did they do it what stops an alcoholic after 30 years of drinking to give up they say yes maybe he has liver disease maybe he was arrested for drunk driving I've seen cases where that was not so I've seen cases were the only thing that happened was that the person came to a realization I am too good to let this happen to me there's a beautiful young man in Pittsburgh he's not young anymore he was young when I took him out of jail in 1972 and he was a young man now he is 44 years free of drugs and it's become a real Mensch sensitive ready to help any everyone and some people have through the phenomenon of addiction they've learned some important lessons of life there was one businessman was an alcoholic and he became sober and several years after he became sober some people have a conspiracy to do him in and they ruined him they made a bankrupt and I met him one day and he said to me you know I'm full of anger and full of bitterness about what they did to me but I will go to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous tonight and they'll try to drop off my anger and resentment because you see doctor if I hang on to my anger and resentment I will drink again right this then realized a spiritual principle that reason hanging on the grudge to someone else is absolutely foolishness it's like having it holding a grudge against someone one they'll call it except that's like swallowing poison and thinking it's going to kill the other guy and realizing these are destructive feelings hanging onto anger instead of getting rid of it is a self-destructive thing and we should realize ourselves that we are too good they people to let this happen to us and so you know I've written books about self-esteem how can a person possibly help self esteem if he doesn't think his life is worth anything someone has held so clearly and if there's nothing worth dying for then there's nothing worth living for self-esteem is because I believe I have a function and what is my function well going through the myriad kind of lactated objectivity is a very life is a transient function but it's not an ultimate purpose there has to be some ultimate purpose that should give our lives value what is self esteem what does it mean to give anything esteem the word esteem comes from estimate alright how do you esteem something look around this house look around your house and see what value do you give to objects in the house well some are very useful they have a function some don't have any function but they're very decorative their aesthetic so suppose that you have a beautiful piece of furniture it's a grandfather clock but the mechanism stops and working at it cannot be repaired well it's a beautiful beautiful piece of furniture so you keep it but what happens if your candle boomer goes Gullah and can't open cans anymore it doesn't have any aesthetic value it's not decorative you're not going to hang it up so what do you do with a candle for that candle work anymore you get rid of it because it has no value I think those are the only values that we have either something just functional or something is decorated okay now let's look at ourselves are we decorative well some people are fortunate that they're so beautiful so handsome that they may consider themselves as that go dude but even that eventually is going to pay this in the old age so decorative is not the value of a human being so what is the value of you would being standing in front of a TV with a six-pack watching a football game I mean it's not a terrible thing to do if you're not addicted but it certainly is not the pride of the dignity of being a human being that one can find ways to satisfy satisfy one's desires so the safer I have on my desk that I never let leave his mischievous you show them because it sounds up with her of a sore thumb but you know something he now has his own the idea of what that purpose is and you don't necessarily have to agree with them but you do have to think about it what is my purpose whether I agree with you well how what is my purpose being an animal is not a dignified purpose for being and so a spiritual awakening is discovering that we're too good to be this now I've read a little bit of our revolution in the 12-step program because when people go to 12-step meetings as for example Alcoholics Anonymous they identify themselves only by first name because we're not honest and the person will get up and say my name is Frank and I'm an alcoholic and I tell Frank you know you have to remember that you're an alcoholic because if you forget it you're gonna drink again but that is not all that you are you are a beautiful person created by God so what I want you to get up next time to do this until next time when you go down you get up and say my name is Frank I am a beautiful person who's an alcoholic you have to remember those things if you're gonna forget that they're an alcoholic you're gonna drink again and if you forget that you're a beautiful person you won't anymore your reason why not to drinking it and that's the beauty of you disguise the beauty of Taylor and how important it is is because before I sham gave us the Torah take a look over there yes look how seriously I said says look you have seen what I've done for you I have delivered you from the slavery of Messiah and I've brought you on wings of eagles to me and now you will listen to my teachings right and you will become a king develop priests and a holy nation and that's clever solder Berlin right that's what we are to do and we ought to be proud of being chosen by a chin to fulfill his teachings and to make ourselves into the person that we are supposed to be my first book one of my first book was called let us make man and it goes back to the person of the title work and the sixth day of creation after God had created the holy number universe the millions of galaxies came to the creation of man as Shannon said not as let us make a man who whose participation was ashamed asking for it and the Bible says it's very obvious he said everything everything else that I am created was created in the state of final perfection an alligator doesn't have to become anything other than an alligator it was born an animal it remains an animal and it follows mr. from animalistic traits the human being is supposed to be different Hashem said you know I could make you into beautiful perfect spiritual creature but then it would be an angel you'd be a mother totally spiritual I have another one of them already I don't want another man look I want the creature who's going to make himself spiritual I'll give you the tools but you've got to do the job and that's why I said not a set of them I will give you the tools I will give you a potential and you'd make yourself into an author that's the secret of Yiddish kit and in very simple terms of the secret of a happy family life you know if you if you keep your ears open by a foot but there's seven brothers that I recited two of them they've got both hot wash em your Excel Hilda that Shem created ultimate em created man why we mentioning that why are we saying it twice because this is what we're telling the young couple you want the happy that marriage might be a mansion not an animal if you're gonna be searching for your own gratification and you'll be selfish and ignorant and in the templates other person's needs then you're not gonna know them you're still an animal it's the beautiful traits that we have learned through thorough and midlist that if we adopt them we become real mansion I repeat this because it was very important to me and I want to share it with you at age 73 my father developed cancer of the pancreas he was very well versed in medicine because for years he'd been visiting patients in the hospital and discuss their conditions with their doctors and so he Lou I feel about medicine and so he called me and he said four cats of the peccaries there's no treatment so sometimes surgery but it was out surgery there's no treatment and chemotherapy doesn't do anything for cancer the pancreas I said no it doesn't the chemotherapy has a lot of painful side effects yes now if taking chemotherapy would extend my life then I think I'd be obligated to do it and accept the discomfort but if it's not gonna can extend my life and all its going to do is give me these distressing side-effects doesn't make any sense to do it I said you're right all right so we've come to a conclusion but we're not gonna do chemotherapy yes you're right if my mother talks to the doctor and the doctor says to her mrs. luskey there is not much we can do for the rabbi we could try chemotherapy maybe we could get an additional three months and my mother said three months well you'd have to do killer therapy for three days and so she came into my father's room and she said no you're going to take chemotherapy no I observe if the bus after she left the room my father said to me you know unfortunately that mother was given misinformation she thinks that came looking sheriff he's going to extend my life but you know if I refuse the chemotherapy you know what her reaction is gonna be when I die why did I not insist on it if I had could still be alive and then she'll feel guilty for not having insisted on it I don't want to leave the world with mom feeling guilty about so I'll take the chemotherapy I know it's not gonna convert anything for me other than it'll prevent mother from having to feel guilty that's what the event yard said her album that is what is being a match setting aside one's own comfort in order to prevent someone else from feeling bad and that famous autumn ll a lovely no alligator kid does that no bear can do it no lizard can do it no people can do it this is something unique for a human being and this is what it takes us to be mentioned rather than intellectual intellectual animals and so I spent so many years talking about addiction and there may be a little bit of a foot spa that I find a little bit of identity with the grey theame yello-ha Novi who told us him why are you sending me to tell people things they don't want to hear and I started off in the nineteen about 30 years ago 40 years ago telling people this idea that shikre's that going is not true alcoholism is prevalent among Jews they wouldn't listen drug addiction is prevalent among the Jews they wasn't listen there is no immunity a person could be a talented scholar and give me a compliment be subject some of these addictions they didn't want to listen compulsive gambling is an addiction we're not immune to it and then in the last two decades the Sutton had a major victory by infiltrating our lives with immorality bringing the indecency in the obscenity and the filth of pornography into our homes and many years ago I think was found 12 years ago where I received a letter from a young man who's a good DTV student and he said I'm caught in this trap of pornography I've tried every way to get out of it including psychotherapy and I'm trapped and the end this letter by saying you're hearing the last gasp of a drying soul and twelve years ago I had nothing to offer him but then a few years later something came upon the Jewish sin which has not been adequately appreciated and there is a group of young people have gotten together and I said use these fight fire with fire fight fight the evil of the Internet with a teaching a positive teaching of the internet teach people how to guard their eyes how to guard their souls how to guard their bodies how to avoid a beauty of using the bad advice him gave them and so we now have a wonderful program called guard your eyes and I am personally aware of hundreds of people young men and young women and older men and older women who have been saved by guard your eyes and again there is no immunity I wish we could say that if a person took some pills every day and keeps Shabbat that that is the solution I wish that were true unfortunately people who have been observant than every other way have fallen trapped into the trap of addiction the sexual addiction pornography and I found that the 12-step program hasn't worked where nothing else has worked and so I wrote the book - Sheila through recovery that recovery will tell us what she was really about Rambam says that Shiva means becoming a different person in any hotel Huish I'm not the same person who behaved the way I did I no longer do that and that has been be the greatness of the 12-step program and it's true it wasn't designed by Bill Wilson who was not Jewish but he didn't design it he just stole it from the safe level so in fact if Bill Wilson would be alive today I would have him soon for some plagiarism because if you go through the 12 steps one by one and I've written a book about it if you go through this one by one and it's in this book also you will see how these these are the principles of moosa' of making yourself into a different person and not deceiving yourself there's one alcoholic who said to me you know doctor and all my years of drinking I never once took a drink unless I decided it was the right proper thing to do at the time that's how you can deceive yourself right that's the destructor self-deception and as I said all forms of addiction including smoking and never forget that there try to never to forget mentioning smoking smoking is a terrible addiction and in fact many of the first come have said that it's absolutely to smoke cigarettes occurring Thalassa and I must tell you that when I see sometimes going to achieve it and it sees the young people smoking as they hate missing the boat they're missing the bullet I have a book called V from bondage to Liberty which is her finish of her girdle Tessa one addict who had recovered four years of drug ADIZ was as his father said that and the father said started reading the Haggadah a vadim he knew and this young man said his father Abba can you truthfully say about yourself have edema you knew that you personally weren't as it you say about the my you know our ancestors thousands of years ago you don't know what it means to learn of it I can tell you what it means to be a nervous because all those years that I was addicted to drugs I was eleven I was not free I could not live the way I wanted to my tasks Westers was drugs I did things in my life that I never thought I was capable of doing but the drugs made me do it and anytime we give up our freedom whether we become addicted to pornography or addicted to alcohol - drugs or - gambling or to food or to smoking or whatever if we lose our Liberty we're back in Messiaen having created our own power and that's something that we should be careful though so I wanted to share these ideas with you tonight because we just finished this wonderful new season beginning of a new year that is in session with Misha not Obama to count the sweet year sweet here for all of us but realize we have to come away from the seizure season with a realization of something that we have achieved and not to believe that just we did showing Yom Kippur in ten days of children that the work is done okay it has to be done a fresh in a new every day and if it's the same if we will do that and work on our spirituality and our me dot every day and becoming what I Shem wanted us to be a true other rather than a homo sapien intellectual gorilla right we all merit the blessings of courage well brother because human big-ass mystical awfulness at the rabbi mentioned in his introduction we're going to have some information about guarantee rise characterized as far as I'm concerned is the only effective method that we've had for stopping people from being slaves to a addiction which is breaking their lives ruining families and ruining children so and it turned it over now to guard your eyes [Applause] my name is Ellie unguarded your eyes I'm known by my username hopeful I was struggling with my internet problem for many years but thanks to G ye guard your eyes now I am 632 days claim one day at a time I used to feel like such a hypocrite like I was living a double life having because then they hide my dark side for my wife my family my friends I wasn't who I appeared to be on the outside it was terrible I tried to stop so many times but I felt stuck I was sure I would take my secret to the grave but since I discovered gyd everything has changed dramatically for the better I feel like I got my life back my children have a functional father my marriage has never been better I'm free to do whatever I put my mind to it turns out that I have a lot of interests outside of internet shmutz which I'd consumed so much of my time in the past now when I shape the rabbi's hand I no longer think to myself if he only knew guard your eyes currently has over 10,000 members from all walks of life spanning the entire spectrum of our community so if you are also struggling the first thing you should know is that you're not alone the Internet is so accessible and anonymous that these struggles have become a widespread problem great rabbis have also recognized the pervasive nature of this challenge every single second another person is falling prey to this to the each other knowing guard sheet from you can do the try to save your home we can catch you this little fuse of shame and people just overcome by we're talking about an affliction that is hitting thousands of big families it's uh I don't know that there's ever been a more serious problem food quality source condition that which we have known and the only weapon we have against the only one in copyright term is ageism movement actually the only the only weapon we have their disposal and it's an international weapon that we have which is affected guard your eyes has helped thousands of people to break free for the first time there is real hope the tools of gie were developed by experts based on the shared experience of hundreds of people who broke free themselves to protect your privacy some tools are only available to members but you don't need to divulge your name or any personal information it's actually recommended that you open an anonymous email account and utilize a made-up username registration is completely free and will give you access to all the tools as soon as you want remember you'll get your own personal homepage which will be your portal to all the features on the site and we'll guide you through the tools gie helps people in the entire spectrum of this struggle whether someone just started slipping or whether they have been struggling for decades have tried everything GUI e will help them find the tools that will work best for them that's why they are divided into three levels blue orange and red if you are new to the site you are invited to start with the tools of the blue level the tools of this level can be used on your own and do not involve anyone else if you feel you only need a little help the tools of this level may be all you need to break free by providing you with the proper perspective on this struggle daily inspiration and the motivation to succeed when I joined G ye I started reading through the articles and posts on the forum and saw how many others were succeeding I signed up to the email newsletters to get daily encouragement and inspiration and I installed a good filter to put some distance between me and the temptations in addition G whyis top six you'll help me set up powerful offenses and for the first time in my life I felt like I had a fighting chance within a few days I was ready to take the 90 day challenge which is based on scientific studies that show it takes 90 days to change an addictive pattern in the brain this was instrumental in helping me stay focused on a clear goal for the first crucial months of my journey thanks to the guidance of the GUI e handbook and the other tools of the blue level I no longer felt helpless I had clear strategies on how to break free and I saw this struggle in a whole new life if you've tried the blue level tools and still feel you need more help or if you've been struggling for a long time and are ready to do whatever it takes it would definitely be a good idea to also try the tools of the orange level that's because sometimes this struggle is so deep that an impact the way our brains work as a matter of fact these behaviors have been shown in studies to be even more addictive than hard drugs you see just like other addictive substances such as cocaine and marijuana inappropriate images flood the brain with dopamine resulting in an increased appetite for more and more when that happens experts say it's almost impossible to stop without group support this is because as our own track records often show us our personal strengths are simply not enough to conquer this as our sages say a prisoner cannot release himself from prison and as rabbi Twersky one of America's foremost addiction experts explains even a good therapist and an addiction can do nothing without a powerful support group that's the nature of addiction dr. Ike has a method to put people in touch with each other where they can remain anonymous you can have group meetings without anybody knowing who you are you can talk to people to give you hinges before T you ie group support wasn't very practical for most people in early stages of recovery it's unthinkable to expose themselves to others when dealing with these sensitive issues but now with G ye it's finally possible to get group support even while remaining fully anonymous when I started using the tools of the orange level I felt like I finally come home there was so much camaraderie on the chat rooms and forms and by sharing my struggle I got tons of encouragement and good advice from others we're in the same boat as me or even worse off and who managed to break free some of my G ye friends got themselves a partner to be in touch with by email or phone through G II's partner program but most of all the Danby phone conference has helped my recovery jump to a whole new level these phone groups combined group support with powerful programs like innate health or the 12 steps which have helped millions of people around the world break free of all kinds of addictive behaviors with the help of the experienced group moderators these programs helped me change my whole outlook not just on the struggle but there's so many aspects of my life all in all the tools of the orange level helps me internalize that I wasn't alone in this struggle anymore I have people to reach out to anonymously when I needed help and that made all the difference by the way even though my wife was supportive of my recovery efforts it wasn't easy for her to accept my struggles but thankfully gie has special forms and phone conferences for spouses as well where my wife receives much-needed guidance and support guard your eyes has a solution for anyone the red live help has resources that can help even the toughest situations it includes tools like coaching and therapy which can help us deal with underlying emotional issues which may be hindering our recovery it also includes the most powerful solution known for addictions which is face to face 12-step meetings although g.y ease 12-step phone conferences are often enough real addictions sometimes require taking recovery is step further and attending live meetings where we can immerse ourselves in the program more fully the bottom line is if we are committed to breaking free of this problem we can surely find a way through the many tools of gids three levels the blue level getting started the orange level anonymous group support and the red level live help it worked for me and for thousands of others and I'm sure it will work for you too the change doesn't always happen overnight but if you stick around uie keep trying new things and keep coming back you will start seeing real changes in your life in ways you never believed were possible every journey begins with a single step take that step today [Music] you