Rabbi Aaron Dovid Poston - Happiness "Making it Practical In Your Life"

foreign hi good evening everybody thank you all for coming appreciate it first I want to thank the neutronium shaw for allowing us to have the class here and my cousin rivlin he's responsible for allowing us that be here and um I would especially thank my wife Bina for encouraging us to produce some of the programs we've had so far and she is a constant source of encouragement and since the last time we met a few things a few things happened first of all last Thursday I'm sorry last Wednesday we had really gone to a blazer and my cameraman was uh so um very enthusiastic about taking the possible youth seminar he actually signed up so he's not here tonight so I turned on the camera um but also last Sunday we did a Hands-On Professor project at God Eliezer we had 16 people and everyone really had a good feeling about doing the tests that they were involved with for the day and one of the people signed up every month you'll bring their uh their their kids and their kids friends and another person that came is involved with the Yeshiva and they're going to encourage the issue to go monthly as well so I don't know it just gives us a good feeling that even though we're just starting out that we're already making some progress anyway tonight's goal is to present practical ways and suggestions to incorporate happiness into your life right the title of the seminar has been the secret of Happiness it's not a real secret there's been hundreds of hours hundreds of studies millions of hours by research institutes trying to figure out what is the secret of happiness they do come to certain conclusions and there's they all have these idea of three things faith family and Community if you have a strong faith strong family healthy family and a good community that is part of the secret to happiness some other research that's been done they come to these conclusions that 40 of the people that are happy are happy mainly because of what we call nature or teverisha first nature it's due to genetics somehow or another the families have always been very um healthy and happy and we're going to call that nature now that is not in our control there's nothing much we can do about that there's other significant factors and that would be significant life events people who've had significant life events do and it can cause some happiness problem is it's usually not long term it's short-lived and that does account for another 40 percent here's an example let's say for example somebody won the lottery so they found that after six months he's back to the original level of happiness that he was at on the other hand someone who became a paraplegic unfortunate situation could have been an accident and you would expect that he would be very unhappy and sometimes it does take a toll on their happiness but what they find is that six months later he's back to his original state of happiness that he wasn't before the accident the truth is you really think about that for a second it means that the paraplegic is actually happier than the guy that won the lottery because he's back to his original and he went uh up with the other guy the lottery winner went down Okay the third category which we're going to actually focus on tonight and that is Life Choices these are within our control this is what we're going to call nurturing which is second nature or televisioning this is something that is within our control and we can acquire happiness through our life choices as an introduction I actually want to paraphrase what a famous rabbi said and this is only because of my humility this is Introduction to Mr sharing he says I'm not here to teach you anything new but he'll remind you of what you already know the only difference is that I'm hopefully going to present you with a different way of thinking about things the first principle is that we're going to run it's pretty much going to run through the evening is the idea of the fun Sarah Adra according to the effort is the result right nothing comes for free it's gonna it's gonna take work someone wants to be happy they have to put the effort excuse me I'm going to spend a few minutes re reviewing we had two speakers in the past we heard we're of God by the way if you go into our website y-i-b-o-n-e-h.com you'll be able to see his video clip and I care and encourage you all to see it if you haven't seen it and even if you had seen it it's worthwhile seeing again we've got real Friedman Gave Over the five levels of pleasure which is a quote a flagship seminar it was developed by North weinberg's itself who is the founder and roshiva of isotora who I had the privilege to learn under where I received my ordination as a rabbi at Asia time we Define the man as a pleasure Seeker okay meaning the prime prime motive that causes him to act or not to act is based on is this going to bring me pleasure it could be an act or a thought but the ultimate fundal fundamental uh key in what we do is is it going to make me feel good the choices we make isn't going to bring me pleasure now one of the main points that he pointed out in in this year was that pain and pleasure are not opposites I mean we asked the question people what's the opposite of pain so I would say pleasure well it's the opposite of pleasure hey you know they go hand in hand they're on one side of the spectrum and it would be either indifference or being numb Comfort which is the opposite again according to the effort is the reward and we're going to go through it again right pain and pleasure are on the same side of the spectrum in against vernacular in American English we say no pain no gain I'd probably say that also where some of you guys come from so I'll just like go through some of the steps that he took in the sheer and we we emphasize the different levels of happiness and on each level there were three things to focus on one is to become an expert in that level of Happiness focus in on the results and to avoid the pitfalls of counterfeit pleasures and we climb each level or should I say we started at five and we went up to one so each each one of these different types of relationships we we had a uh what's the word and there was a trading Factor you know how much are you willing to sacrifice to go up the ladder called an upgrade so we started with the lower to the greater so the first was physical Pleasures then we went to love then meaning meaning creativity and of course the top was spirituality the wow moment you know the willingness to be inspired and be awestrucked so the ultimate pleasure we concluded with was the the pleasure one derives from connecting with the Almighty transcendental anybody here of TM what is it what is when you hear TM what does it remind you of all right questions or Transcendental Meditation no I'm going to give you a whole nother definition a mind frame for TN in a few minutes first the term defines man as a nephesh a soul we're transcendental this is what separates us from the animals we long to unite with our maker and we develop and in order to develop an intimate relationship with our very source this is something the Clear Car speaks about in partial that the Jewish soul the soul avraham longed to come to Earth Israel means go to yourself God was instructing him to find himself in a place that he would show him this place we know as the Temple mount the evanistia the foundation stone is located there this is the place where the physical universe came from that's what evidence means the foundation stone where everything came from there's also the very place where Heaven meets Earth so not only did the body the physical part of Who We Are come from that place but also our soul this is where Heaven meets Earth and this is where the souls enter into the physical world I just want to stress that if anybody wants to find out more about the Temple Mount and the evangelistia the foundation stone you can go to our website it's on the last page at the far right and we have links to the right sites to become more educated you can take a virtual tour that sums up sure the second part of our series was with Roberto clezen and his presentation was an introduction to the possibly use seminar and he explained how we are really Spiritual Beings these Spiritual Beings also have let's say he mentioned voices so we we hear voices we we have an inner voice that's talking to us sometimes it's healthy and sometimes it's not so healthy I just want to mention the special mentions to Rabbi Hilo and Haya Lester at the Charlotte Center because my wife and I do go to couples groups over there and they've been really helpful in in helping us deal with these voices and the stories that we tell ourselves usually they um they serve um these stories that we tell us unfortunately serve to um what's what I'm looking for to mess us up you know I mean we really want to succeed and I'll give you an example because uh yanta Blazer gave in his uh in his seminar some examples but I just want to finish with the Charlotte Center uh Hill and myself were were thinking about it we're working on a possible seminar for single people people with pre-marriage Workshop and this is one of the things I mentioned earlier faith family and community so this is how we want to also help the community or the individuals with the family aspect anyway getting back to the Young Turk laser and what he mentions so we call them these these voices they they hold they they put they put they um yeah I have right here on the tip of my tongue pitfalls and they present challenges and one of the goals is to reframe this is another thing that uh a rabbi Nisha Torah of iselic fiskin the guru of Happiness framed that word reframe and if you can reframe and you can unleash that the potential the real potential that we have to help create more healthier relationships so one of the main components of Health relationships is to create an attitude of gratitude towards your partner and also judging favorably is very important and this is the process he walked us through last night again his presentation is also on our website here's where I mentioned the negative voices he said he presented us examples of some of the negative voices that some of us have in our head right we're children we're growing up we had experiences and we have these echoes in our head that maybe we weren't good enough we were unloved we weren't loved enough we were abandoned and then we have the second voice and that's also could be catastrophic it tries to compensate for all those negative thoughts but it only sabotages that's the word I was looking for earlier it sabotages our ability from having successful relationships that we really desire but we ended up we end up acting out in non-constructive ways so Rebecca Glaser showed us why we need to start exactly how and why we need to start examining the way we think and allowing ourselves the freedom to perceive things differently which is one of the things we're going to try to attempt here as well when we think of things differently you could actually bring us towards a state of clarity resulting in the attitude and of gratitude that we so desire and the happiness as a result now I want to bring in an important angle and most of what I want to present tonight is actually based on this idea I mentioned earlier no pain no gain the food Sarah Agra we were slaves in Egypt I mean that's not a big finish but what does it mean to us is it real to us so on a national level we look at it from a historical point of view okay so we can make it real but so many Mitzvahs are there to remind us of our enslavement you got to ask why this time that we were in Egypt was very troubling it was very painful actually the word itself mitzrayim in Hebrew is from the word mitsar mitsar it's very tight constricting Place suffocating it's very confining this is the worst kind of bondage but can experience now we've all probably experienced some type of bondage some type of pain in our lives we've actually probably created our own personal health we have a change we were enslaved to our base desires and we've ruined a lot of relationships because of what we call the monkey on our backs also something else misery loves company and somehow loves to share that misery if only we had a healthier concept of our Essence we could actually move remove ourselves from this prison of our own making problem is because I'll tell us that a prisoner cannot free himself right he needs someone from the outside to help free him so it's usually what we're going to call a power of greater than ourselves so once you're free and having experienced the freedom and the immunity you can look back and actually feel grateful for where you are today similar to 12-step programs after having had a spiritual awakening as a result of those total steps one can begin to carry the message to others which actually reminds me of the Symmetry in the idea that we have a Mitzvah to learn Torah and how do we know we have a Mitzvah to learn to around there's only mood there's a learning for the word really maditan and the word ulamat attempt we learn out that those who are obligated to teach they're the ones who are obligated to learn and also from visionanta you should teach your children of Weinberg blessed memory said that the highest level of learning is when you're actually learning in order to teach which is again the whole concept of sharing giving I know that when I prepare for a sheer I put a lot more into it I expect questions and there's another talmudic statement that says by certain Rebellion who do you learn the most from from your students now how can that be because many of the questions that are asked as well as the preparation type the term commands us actually I wanted to mention something very important because we're going to be talking a lot a lot about missions that seem to only apply to men trust me we'll get to playing with women as well but I I heard recently uh one again one of these research departments on happiness they said that first of all women single women are more happier than single men that's it it's married women are also more happier than married men and the last thing is a little bit funny when you think about it that widows are happier than the widowers anyway getting back to uh so the tour commanders to be kind to others we're supposed to care for the stranger the Widow the orphan because once we were slaves this is the idea and I'm going to mention it in the second set of tablets by The Commandments of Shabbat but this is also the Commandment to take care of the offering the Widow because we were there we're supposed to empathize how are we supposed to really feel that we experienced it so the Torah commands US every year once a year on PESA to actually mentally emotionally and even sometimes physically act out leaving Egypt supposed to really experience it as if what as if you're leaving Egypt right now again we talk about Egypt being and makes our a tight place the creator of the universe knows this is what we need towards healing to be able to relate to leaving Egypt for Hope sake as well as for experiencing he gave us guidelines to help awaken us out of those 49 levels of of Tomb of contamination we had descended to the lowest of lows and in order to become uplifted and get out of it so he gave us the tools again Roosevelt Library developed a series called the 48 ways the 49th way is is reviewed but anyway so we're supposed to experience this once a year on Pace at night and twice a day when we repeat the Shema right we're supposed to experience Gula think about because we do mention the third paragraph which is reminding us that God is the one that took us out of Egypt we're supposed to try to really make it real and the Commandment of Shabbat which comes every seven days it also mentions right I mentioned about the second set so the first set of tablets the Commandment of Shabbat is God telling us I created the world I love you I want you to rest I want you to have some peace the second set and I'll read it remember that you were a slave in the land of Egypt the Lord your God freed you from there with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm therefore the Lord your God has command you to observe the sabbath day sometimes we forget their second set of tablets and they're a little bit different than the first and the wording the command is still the same in order to hit this point really home I just want to quote the villainagogue this is in his commentary on Michelin proverbs 4 13. it's short it's a one-liner but you should take this for the rest of your life he explains the entire purpose of our existence and what is that he says it's to overcome our negative happens to work economy does to work on our character traits to be on these are my words to be more sensitive to others I'm sure everyone has their own little native their own little you know way of expressing this I recently read in the Zohar I wasn't in the Zohar with someone else quote and so I uh what actually is the difference between a Sada Gamora and a tariksha nagama between a completely righteous person and someone who was who's not who's righteous but he's not completely righteous he says that a completely righteous person didn't commit any transgressions in his previous um transmigration vilgul previous life whereas the righteous person had committed transgressions and he's here now to my talking them to fix them I'm going to assume that everyone knows what Rubik Cuba said about the greatest principle of the Torah but I'll mention it again any volunteers Rabbi Akiva the greatest principal in the Torah he says you'll love your neighbors yourself and everyone says oh yeah but there's two more words I think I should oh sorry he says you should love your neighbors yourself I am God and I'm mentioned this for a reason also we all know the famous statement that Moses said to pharaoh and probably many in the in the Civil Rights era as well let my people go but what's the rest of the sentence worship so we can serve so they can serve me so I'm mentioning these for a reason first of all we already mentioned it's a Mitzvah it's a commandment to bestow kindness upon others where do we know that from we'll talk about a second but the concept here we have to write I have to love someone else as I love myself so I'm gonna it's like a mirror image here going on and not only that Ani Hashem somehow put into it so how do we we understand that so the concept here is once you love and cherish his brother just as he loves and cherishes himself with his own money and his own body so too in other way to express it just as he would want I want for him and just as I want for me I also want for him but as I he says the main principle of the Torah Clarke is from a different verse but I'm not sure there's really any difference here he says the verses like imagine it the greatest principle the Torah is when God created a man he created him in his image is that much different than Hashem is another source towards the feeling of his acts of kindness that comes from Exodus and schmos 20. and I'm bringing this up because it's very interesting about one of the words that are going to be used here and we're going to actually use one of the text to go through a little bit it says and you shall teach them God is talking to Moses you shall teach them the statutes and the laws and show them inform them the way in which they must walk and the way they and the work they must do there's work according to the work remember this being happy is going to have some work involved but the under that's all the rappers understand when it says inform them in the way they must walk that has to do with the character development that has to do with that has to do with the kindness that we're obligated to share the next verse says and if you do this thing and as God commanded you to do then you'll be able to endure all these people should go to their place in peace I'm going to read the behavior in Hebrew a little bit because it says and you shall inform them of the Derek yellow they should go in and the work that they must do and the second possibly emphasis I want to put on they'll be able to stand they'll have a presence for this whole people shalom that they will come to their place in peace so a place could be a physical place and place is also you know a real peace descending upon a person so this really applies first of all on a personal level certainly on a national level and I'm going to say even on a global level this is where I want to pick up and present practical ways to incorporate several key Concepts as part of this presentation whose mission is to encourage him and again empower the community to do more Hazard and misses so there's going to be three principles I'm going to mention number one gratitude showing appreciation being appreciative love we Define love as seeing or focusing it's actually the feeling one gets when you focus on the virtues the positive aspects of the other person and number three putting into action meaning follow through with chicken amitos kindness Good Deeds which will result in deep satisfaction remember I said earlier the food Sarah Agra according to the effort is the reward now it's not going to come easy but I'll tell you it's worth it you'll have a much healthier life so our name is ubane and it has two aspects Olam um right the world is is founded upon has it and the other aspect is to build the holy place it's not a real contradiction at all now research has claimed that these I meant I mentioned this earlier three main factors in acquiring happiness and sustaining it for for a long time and that's faith family and community so I think these are acts of faith these are obviously things you do in your own family and certainly wherever you can in the community but this is based on God one of the aspects of one of The Commandments to imitate God to follow in his ways to take on his character traits so the uh we learn how four different acts dressing the naked God dressed in aching he dressed Adam and Eve visiting the sick the VAC to visit the sick God visited avraham shortly after his circumcision comforting a mourner illumination right avraham avram passed on God came and blessed Yitzhak burying the dead Gourmet team so Moses nobody knows where Moses is buried even to his debt who buried Moses God himself some of the commentators list those acts of kindness under the category of to walk in his ways as I just mentioned and some say it's just the general admonition to have good manners and character the idea is that the kind of love and kindness that you bestow upon your brothers and sisters is the same loving kindness you'd bestow upon yourselves with your own money in your own bodies what you would like to do I'm sorry what you would like someone else to do to you this is what you should do to others now the main problem comes up when you have an unhealthy idea of yourself when you have low self-esteem when you have these voices in your head that are constantly uh I keep forgetting the word of looking for sabotaging you in your relationships what if you're naturally happy what if you lack the clarity you're not healthy how can you bestow what it's a mirror so you're giving them what you think they want I mean you're not even sure what you want is so healthy so I have no doubt that an unhappy person is going to face these challenges in their relationships they're going to have a hard problem with love they're going to have a very difficult problem just on kindness and uh we're gonna have to work it through it's no wonder that who's one of his famous books called the mishna Brewer but he wrote wrote a book called ahavis The Love of hessen the love of love and kindness now it's based on a verse 6 8. it has been told of thee o man what is good and what the lord requires of you only to do justly to love Mercy Mercy and to walk humbly with your God now knowing that I want to there's some copies in the back there's a piece of paper if everyone can grab one we're gonna go through this little piece this is going to be I'm gonna say mind-boggling Earth shattering and it could be that you've all heard it before again I mentioned the beginning I'm not here to teach you anything new I'm only here hopefully to connect the dots uh I'll try my best to translate in Hebrew into English this is based on a story in the Gamora Evan and I we learn at the emik Learning Center we have a really good time there encourage anybody and everybody to go to the website the emiclearningcenters1word.com and find out when they are sharing um so this Gamora brajos is describing a situation where POC was traveling on the way and he needed to pray so he went into a ruin in usual lion and maybe on the outskirts of town and he started to pray and he noticed he must have been on a very high level Elijah the prophet was outside waiting for him so when he was finished he had a conversation that ensued and he said he learned three things from this conversation based on the questions that Elijah asked him based on the answers he gave I'm not going to go into all those details it's just one particular idea and that was he says one time while I was walking on the way we're going to focus just on those words now one of I might as well fill you in on one of the aspects of the question so he said one of the reasons he went in there because he was afraid he was a in fear of people who were passing on the way would interrupt him Elijah the prophet told him and what he needed to do from that point on anyway so there's a question one time I was walking on the way yay slab shows you can ask Mari Lomar why did why does this story go and Lance explained I was going on the way would have been enough to say one time I went into the ruin so this is the sorry I should have mentioned who this is from this is the vanish high this is Gomorrah and the Gamora is in brothels so he says if you look at the explanation with the current Godzilla the high priest who who prayed every year and he would pray that the people who are walking on the way who are hashing on the way that God should not listen to their prayer when they pray shouldn't reign we all know Eric Israel is relying on the Reigns we don't have any natural reservoirs and it's good for the community it's good for the clouds good for everyone else so when one person is walking on the way and is having a difficult time traversing with his wagon with his boots with the sandals that he may pray oh it shouldn't rain today because I have to go to this place so the Congo prays that God does not listen to that person so he says that the prayers of the overage which we're going to focus on we said before him and now we're talking about ovary biosi called him and he's saying I'm afraid of the ovary there the people are just passing on the way so the prayer of the kangaro is that the prayers of those people who pass on the way regarding rain should not be heard there's two aspects to this Olive necro Ivory first of all they're called ovary rocking passing the way their hope goal their whole desire of their heart is just to reach from point A to point B nothing on the way matters to them they just want to get their hearts desire and that's and the ways to run until they reach their place nothing's going to stop them bet the second aspect we call it right Rebels himself said and I'm afraid of the ovary there what is that is they know they're conscious aware of every step they take foreign God prepares their footsteps the money talking is in order to fix repair any type what do they do there's a sorry lemon yitake in order to fix there on the way a is a need to kodash some type of spark a holy spark which is sharpness it might be relating to their own soul it could be their own fixing it could be the fixing of something external that's the whole purpose in their walking in their going it was only an excuse God placed a reason for him to go to point B I need to get to the doctors but guess what every step on the way is Meaningful every person I meet every interaction I had is Meaningful in order they should travel in this certain in certain way it's in any way they go are they yesham until they actually reach there so everything is Meaningful on the way with zamar and this says in to heal him in Psalms it's from Hashem and it's the footsteps that God prepares but regarding man and he delighted on his way so God is actually delighted if a man understands that God is preparing the way these are the people who are Ho Hey there they're going on their way they're not passing by so for that remember the congato is only praying that the overage to Rahim are not heard no problem and because of this the person can tell him that's why they're called that's the con Guru does not pray that the dark has not listened to Mendoza he he prayed and God prevented the rain because of this aspect it is so the rain would stop on his account and that you can see him say hello that's 119 Olive Ashley to me mate Derry happier those who are upright in their way they go in the way of the Lord in the law of the Lord it comes out that the character trait the attribute that we uh attribute to Sadiq into righteous people highest people a feeling even when they're going out for physical secular work right um gamma meaning they believe they understand they have faith that this is this work they're doing is from its cost and reasoned out by God himself so they should go along a certain path ology so they should pick up along the way holy Sparks that's why they're called passes on the way I'm sorry Walkers of the way I have an awesome Shameless but those that lack this Faith they're the ones who are just passing by as the story said he was of the type who was Mitzvah that it comes out that he's walking the process of going it was considered a Mitzvah he was considering to do a Mitzvah because that's what he does that's why he was able to go into the harbor he wasn't concerned or worried about I know this is a little strange we'll call them damagers or demons he wasn't worried himself not from the possible of being damaged not because of the possibility of the ruins of the walls falling down either that's why the the language he actually used was one time when I was going on the way it specifically uses the word mahale she's saying I'm not from those who just get want to get from point A to point B Illinois but from the right sued the right type that just wants to experience life and matakane everything that comes my way shaiti ma mean that I believe that I was going in this way in order to clarify in order to up raise up in order to collect the holy Sparks because I'm involved in the mitzvah that's why I was able to go into this particular ruin what else are you going to go into a ruin for if not to uplift and to raise the Sparks and I had no concern for the damage that normally comes to people that go into these places because there's a special concept important concept people who are walking on the way to do Mitzvahs are not damaged this comes very well to explain the answer of another examination will said afterwards he was a little bit afraid a little bit of fear that perhaps that these people who are going to be over at the areas who were passing it by would interrupt him that doesn't say it says like he mentioned about himself early on ivory with her I was right he's not using that terminology was that Nathan so this all comes out well right he was not afraid of anybody who's holy dark like him these people are righteous and they're up they're straight and they're on the right path Keva should so since if they would come across me and they would see me praying those people would not stop they wouldn't rummy bear because no nothing would hold them back they have faith they have a Muna they have uh passion they want to they know that every step they take is Meaningful so nothing's going to hold them back straight from the hauntingly and they would wait for me they wouldn't pass by me or interrupt me because these people understand that every step that is taken is to raise Sparks is founded by God was placed there ahead of time everything is done with the Divine Providence of God is a little bit afraid of those who weren't on that level they were already dropping all they want to do is get from point A to point B aham ammonium I don't know if that means many or Heretics but we'll assume there were many and they're not going to be so concerned they're going to go ahead and they're going to interrupt me Elohim and all they're concerned about is getting there as quick as possible in order to reach their heart's desire at a good time as I mentioned as soon as possible so they just want to get to Point here they just want to get their harsh desires as quickly as possible so now try to imagine living your life always in the now looking for the holy Sparks to raise everywhere you go not just internally mostly internally because we have to as they've done the gun said it's about but to work on ourselves but also who we can help along the way wouldn't the world be a very different place again we mentioned in Rob gavshi or the definition of love and this is of North Weinberg is itself is an idea of how his understanding of the Ramba that love is the feeling one derives when they focus on the positive Virtues Of another person so what would happen if you're cognizant of the fact that everyone around you that you interact with interface with was created in the image of God I mean the world would be a different place we know Isis wouldn't exist that would be an easy one this is a little bit of a downer because if we're having a definition the definition we're starting with was as Rick benazi said that God created us in His image unfortunately and we probably have gone through peers in our lives where we've created our own Gods based on our image and many religions there's a lot of false religions out there who basically have created God in their image a human God I know it's a very short comment to make but we have to rework our definition of God so I mentioned earlier about TM and someone said maybe it means Transcendental Meditation so I'm going to tell you it means Torah images so Torah will help us hopefully get a clearer idea of God the created universe and the Mitzvahs are what we're trying to do to fix ourselves fix the world and before I go into that I want to tell you a famous story this is a famous Casita story about rosusha I'm sure you've all heard it before but perhaps there's one of you who hasn't and I'm happy to tell it again so a certain man came to the market of message and difficulties understanding what the Torah tells us that one should bless God for the bad just as He blesses God for the good he had a hard time understanding that and perhaps we also have a hard time at times so holy Magi said then these you go find his disciple rosusha of annapoli so he went he found Azusa the pies from zusha received him warmly invited into his home when the guest came in he saw how poor Revolution was the house was in Ruins they had no food almost nothing to eat there would be set with afflictions and illnesses nevertheless what was it about reposition he always had a smile he he had an upbeat he was always happily and cheerful so the guest was astonished at this picture he couldn't understand the market sent him this to this this this guy I call it a guy this holy rosusha and so he said to him yeah I went to the Magi I asked him how is it possible to bless God for the bad just as we bless him for the good he said he said to resusa the Magi told me only you can help me so what do you think rosusha's response was the question hey did the holy rebbe send you to me how would I know he should have sent you to someone who's suffering right me right let me ask you a question we all know percivals is who is ashir who's rich someone who is happy with his lot who um and this is a benzoma I think uh here it is he appreciates what he has and part of the mission that explains uh apostlican Psalms into Hilton we started out by explaining one of the important principles here is according to the effort is the result is a reward Psalms 182 2 says if you eat the toil of your hands fortunate you and good is to you fortunate you in this world and good is to you in the world to come I want to mention about the way we look at the world it's all about it's for those that came in length you mentioned that there's nature its first nature meaning that many people are happy because of genetics there are many people that are not and it takes what we call life choices and we're going to call that second nature so there's certain things that we have intrinsically as Jews we're intrinsically grateful in fact we're called yahuddin why are we called You Dean because some say because yahudah was the largest tribe some say because you heard it was the largest Remnant that still exists but the truth is if you look at Leia's in the title and land names Yoda we had four mothers right and there were going to be 12 tribes and they all Hades they all were instilled with the Holy Spirit they had prophecy and they knew that they were the four mothers so you have 12 tribes each mother was supposed to have three children when Leia had her fourth child she realized she had much more than was coming to her and she was extremely grateful for that and she called him name his name Yehuda so we mentioned earlier about TM we're going to now Define his Torah in Mitchells this is the Catalyst tours of a rainfall life the Torah is the guy and the Mitzvahs of the 613 ways to connect now here's something very interesting the word mitzvah people translate as commandment it doesn't only mean commandment in fact in gemore Brookes we came across the word sagre which is the root of mitzvah means to connect to become the khabir okay and we think about every time we do a mittler we're connecting to the Almighty but there's something also very fascinating because we're trying to write anybody wants to encourage people to do mentors to do fessing I thought about this I thought about this with a tremendous a tremendous job they get people to put on to film so what is it about the film is it a central Mitzvah it could have been any Mission every Mitzvah you do is intertwined with every other Mitzvah by putting on to filling you're actually accomplishing and starting every other one of the 613 mistress Eddie Mitzvah you do is the same okay um there's another idea right the reward for one mix was another Mitzvah or mitz would go rare it's Mitzvah what does that mean Mitzvah go rare it's Mitzvah the mara explains of course it's goraric Mitzvah because when you do one Mitzvah you're automatically starting like you know when you're starting a lawn mower you know and you're pulling the string you're getting it warmed up I mean it may not be humming at the highest you know most powerful speed but you're getting it you're touching upon every midterm when you just do one little and it's from the word right from the word so so interestingly enough I'm going to start talking about different mixes I mentioned there were a lot of Mitch was here we want to talk about the only Optical remain but again no matter what mystery you do you're getting all of them so one of the ideas about right we can all put a lot more into our brother to fill out and our prayers and this will help us with our own sense of gratitude gratitude towards the almighty and towards others it's like the spring The Source where everything is Flowing out of okay so also the word itself is baked rice cup bet is like the number two caucus number 20 and race is 200. so you have right you have a series of numbers that are all two means an increase one is singular two it has this concept of increase and that's what a bracha is it's a heightening of the Holiness of the object and in the person we mentioned about raising the Sparks everything you do why not say it out loud so another person can say I mean it says the person said amen is even greater than the one who said the bra imagine what you're doing when you're Whispering under your breath you're you're robbing someone else with an opportunity so when the brook is made on an object you're elevating it spiritually it fulfills its higher purpose and in existence by having the Mitzvah done through it Additionally the person who performs the Mitzvah is also elevating himself so what better way to show gratitude than constantly same blessings I just want to stop here for saying tell you about my uh my wife and I during a blessing so I learned this I used to work with spartic Educational Center in The Old City and uh of a better Roche uh reviews he uh he taught me a lot and one of the things they do is farting they interrupt I'm sorry the interruption but in the middle of the habella service they start making blessings for sick people and for people who need a pardon us and people in need of him and they start just blessing each other and uh I just found it fascinating and wonderful and we've adopted that there's another thing that's far into Amazon inserted here as well and that is that they laugh at uh right in the that's right what is a dollar it's starting a whole new week so the first opportunity right after the Brooklyn Bridge and they laugh if you've ever been to a safari Minion from multi Shabbat or a host you'll see it I I suggest seeing it and adopting this it's not forbidden for nationality to do such a thing so why do they do this so they told me they it brings why not every beginning right all Beginnings are tough right we know that so the very first moment the seed of the first the new week should start with Brotherhood which you already did and laughter laughter is a tremendous healing effect and interesting and also Rabbi pair from Russia that I remember so clearly and he talked about the the advantage of laughter for no reason right let's say in Judaism we know that sinat came out hatred for no reason is worse than hatred for a reason that's the reason for the destruction of the Temple right and love for no reason is greater than love for a reason and that's what's going to bring about the Redemption so too in in scientific research research they also found that laughter therapy works laughter if you laugh at a joke that's called laughing for a reason that's not as great it's not as powerful as laughter for no reason right laughter for no reason has a greater effect and when you smile right there's enzymes and there's there's chemicals that are released in your body and the scientists have picked up on that that also is very healthy you know bayshamai we all know bayshamai we don't possibly like him in most cases it's like basehilla we always think of Base Hillel as the happy-go-lucky guy and beishima is the kind of like Stern cruel you know harsh rulings what does it say about beshaminy he always had a smile to meet everybody with a pun in the office right you have to understand that we have to rethink sometimes our thinking anyway so we're talking about bracos I mean what happens when you wake up in the morning you do realize that not everyone makes up I mean how great I mean okay they'll do you get the more painful them I get but how great it is to you feel the pain you know that you're alive and you can take a deep breath and that you know the Sun Rings are coming in through the window where you hear the birds chirping the just the colors that you can see when you're walking with the shul to work wherever it is you might go and it's just a fascinating world that we live in and we should really appreciate that and and take advantage of the process that we make and Jews make a lot of brothers um you know when we take a piece of fruit and just examine it you know how is this made where did it come from and sometimes it's like from another part of the world you know it's not the uh the season it's just amazing what goes into producing the fruit by Hashem and whether it might be bread the production of your wife or or the bakery so obviously taking brachos more seriously will help us with our own sense of gratitude um not prayer so what I'm gonna mention sounds like it's a mitzvah for everybody Not Just For Men but are we running to the synagogue do you run to shul you feel like your steps are a little quicker when you're going to show them when you're leaving right this is something that prayer itself is the medicine you know we talked about Yamato Glazier in the beginning that you have these different voices that that sabotage our relationships the stories we tell ourselves okay so what is prayer right we think it's just requests it's just asking for things it's not at all that in Hebrew prayer is investigation is clarity um it's the judge it's to make decisions to constantly sort things out truth from false right even those voices in our head that are trying to convince us right we think that this is going to make the relationship better and really it's just sabotaging it in the center of Otis halev and I quote what he says prayer is the Soul's yearning to Define what truly matters and to ignore the trivility tribilities that often masquerade as essential I mean this is a real special time when you pray not just to read the words real quick as soon as you know get it over with it's nothing like that there's preparation that goes and gets involved and the Tama tells us that the early roshanim they would the early sorry the early Pious people they would take a whole hour just to prepare for prayer and okay we do it in about 12-15 minutes which is super December right and then they take an hour to come down from that high place so I don't know that's like nine hours a day because we pray three times a day whether they work so I guess the quality of their work and the Brotherhood that became must been pretty high so even if we're going to spend 15-20 minutes three times a day we can really put more meaning into it so we we Define prayer right and that is just as essential to our emotional and spiritual and mental well-being as one would need to eat three times a day the the spirit the happiness gurus all these research institutes they all agree prayer Faith was number one on the list that's going to help in in your long-term happiness so there's something else we think of prayer as being other just be it's just a midsole between me and God it's not that I shouldn't say it's not that at all it's not only that interestingly enough when you show up at a minion at a quorum if there's not other people waiting for you what you do to help those other nine people's prayers get higher is unbelievable I suggest going to the mahara he explains what the number 10 represents around I don't think we have time to go into that but what happens is and by women I'll just lay it on the cards they lay the cards out on the table that women as we mentioned earlier are just happier than men they're just more connected and they don't need there's nine other people to help Elevate their personal prayer but what are we doing when we show up and we're that tenth guy we're the hundredth guy right we're actually it's easier when you talk about it like you're the 10th guy you're taking the everyone else's to feel us and helping to boost them and everyone else is doing that for you it's between man and man these are Mitzvahs of showing up in school coming to synagogue on time and it's a real Hassan that you're doing because as we see the prayer is helpful in clarifying someone's well-being their mental state their emotional state the spiritual state if I ask you what is the greatest transgression the Torah tells us what the greatest sin the greatest transgression the greatest mistake one can make any volunteers for any answer I don't embarrass anybody because it's a little bit uh counterintuitive so it says in davari 24 that's 28 45. the curses this horrible things are going to happen to us all these persons are going to come upon us and pursue us the enemies are going to come with the curses and their Pursuits to overtake us until we're destroyed because you didn't listen to God to observe his Commandments and and all the decrees he commanded us these horrible curses are going to be a sign and a wonder and for your Offspring forever because you did not here it is because you did not serve Hashem your God Amid gladness and gladness of heart when everything was abundant when things when things were good we were not happy in our hearts I want to read the right we did not love about it you did not serve Lord your God with joy the truth or with a gladdened heart with a good heart May Rove call when everything was abundant everything was great and the next couple verses oh they slaughter us right we're going to end up serving the enemies and that God sends to us and hunger and thirst and nakedness and uh it's just not good so this this this is a happiness seminar let's just get depressed that this is what does it mean about as Hashem here right you didn't serve Hashem with our hearts what's about us a wave what's the service of the heart everybody knows it's prayer in our prayer we were not happy and I'm sad to say maybe there's certain synagogues you may go into and the people don't look so happy try it and like we said there's faith family and Community find the show there's plenty out there plenty in this neighborhood knit Sunny we're standing in one of them you have the Emmett Learning Center yeah you have hilders having you have all these shoes and uh this community something else also said sanity is contagious insanity is contagious if you hang out with unhappy people people who talk about shanara and what do we say at lushinara is it's talking it's gossip it's evil talk how how is it what's the easiest way for me to lift myself up just put the other guy down no work involved well I might have to pay for it later but that's the easy way remember I mentioned the foods are Agra according to the effort is reward fine go to the effort find the community find the shoe find the group of people who are into tikon amidos into fixing themselves and come they become better people I just want to talk about a few more mitzvahs get a few more minutes and interestingly enough and we talk about what it should we live the surface of the heart to fill in that's not the word that's used in the Torah it's uh Toto right it's to fill in it's a rabbinical word apparently that refers and relates to tefila so this is something that we actually wear should be wearing all day long at least we wear them during tequila and what do they do for us interestingly enough I have an article before I discuss the article a little bit I'll mention what the article says this is published in the Journal of Chinese medicine it's number 70 October 2002. and the title is to fill in an ancient acupuncture Point prescription for mental clarity it describes over 50 acupuncture points that the filling and the straps use as having substantial influence on the mind and the spirit now I don't know all the jargon that's used here and perhaps someone else does but it's a very interesting article and you can find it online if you type in Google Journal of Chinese medicine number 70 October 2002. uh I'll give a quick quote the governing vessel which is do my is an extraordinary Meridian that runs up the spine and penetrates the brain it's well known for its ability to treat psychiatric disorders and influence the mind the spiritual action appoints the governing vessel can be explained because it has the closest relation with the brain which according to pre-inter Classic and later they'll ask the Traditions is considered to be the seed of the spirit a further connection of the governing vessel to spear is found from its anterior pathway which directly connects it to the more traditional home of the spirit the heart so we know right it says it's going to be tough to focus between your eyes which not exactly between your eyes but somehow in the forehead over here and there's a knot in the back and on your arm these are placed in actually the most vulnerable places right this place you would think on your strong arm because it says this is to remind you about what you're leaving Egypt we said Shabbos remind you all the Hakim so many things right so too to filling it is to remind you of that God took you out of Egypt which we again just to remind you about our own personal uh mitzrayim our own personal constricted places so just to remind you of that and it's put on the most vulnerable places perhaps to penetrate or perhaps to protect not sure perhaps both the most vulnerable places need protection but they're the most easiest to to penetrate and therefore these are acupuncture points that bring what we'll call spiritual ecstasy so and also Clarity mental clarity where's it put on that soft spot that we all had we were baby and on your weak arm but not just any place on your arm directly across from your heart interestingly enough something I thought about and actually I'll just read the verses because it's interesting about the Mitzvah of wearing the film right it says and it shall be for you A Sign upon your hand and a memorial between your eyes that the law of the Lord may be in your mouth for with the strong hand that the Lord bring you out of Egypt and another verse and it shall be a sign upon your hand and a tote pose between your eyes for with a mighty hand did that's Exodus 39 and the other one is 13. Exodus 13 sorry X is 13 16. um another mystery just to put this into the perspective also to teach the tassels the strings that we wear it's also mentions right the idea of leaving Egypt but interestingly enough as we mentioned earlier that all the missiles are connected and the just looking at these strings are supposed to remind us about all the 613 misses and at the end of the paragraph that talks about the the middle of Texas and then putting on the blue thread and um and you'll see it and remember all of the Lord's commandments and keep them not straying after your heart or after your eyes remember this is your heart this is your their mind where the eyes are and your heart these are to protect you to remind you constantly and the rest of the verse says and they and and thus you will be reminded to keep all my Commandments and to be holy to your God I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt to be your God I am the Lord of God and another just the idea that it's called an oat an oath is a sign so you have the letter Shin here and you have right on the box itself you have a shin protruding out of each side you have a knot in the back which is a dollar and you have a good not a good on your arm but it's supposed to be an oat so what's the letter what's the word oat it's an olive and a love and a tough the olive always right the letter one the number one Olive always represents God Oneness Singularity Unity four 400 in this case ta the last letter four always represents the physical world the four directions that are surrounding us the love is always not always but in this case so the verb is connecting the Alice in the tough we are to elevate ourselves spiritually and physically and be able to connect and be whole uh Consciousness spiritually conscious people and that's what the the filling does and that's also to a certain extent what the census does so something I want to just end with one little piece um about to fill in something I thought of and that is when you look at the filling you have a shin there's a shin I mentioned um but the shin or a sin it doesn't matter there's no Dot and where is it sitting it's sitting on the Moa it's sitting on the brain so you look at the shed in the mark and you put those together it's and hopefully we wear it to fill it and we go to school and we think about and have a real sense of gratitude and we clarify all the I want to call ghosts and voices and have a real Clarity and simcha again I just want to stress choosing a community is very important judging others favorably is probably one of the most important factors there's a commandment you shall judge your people favorably when you see people and you know they're creating the image of God there's got to be something I know you've run into people that just it's really hard to find something but try try try to think you know we must have thought admits her they might have done they might have been kind to somebody once in their life right try it'll make a big difference in your own life so we see the foundation is we're talking to Meadows trying to improve yourself knowing that we're not perfect there's a lot of work to do and I just want to end by thanking you all for coming and we have a lot of other activities again is based on the idea of trying to empower encourage the community to do more Mitzvahs so there's two aspects we organize many different activities we have how did you want to mention the what they are okay I'll I'll mention so we've already done some activities with yadelier we're planning more you go to our website and sign up and with the victims of Terror who are having some activities within this coming month as well and then we have the educational side so we started off with our seminar on happiness and we're glad that you all came and for those who missed the first two sessions on our website we have roofgov and we have Yamato Glazer um and we're going to be doing many other educational activities of course we'll have Shabbos meals we're going to have group meals and we have next Tuesday night I'm not mistaken two bishvats it'll be a real blast I encourage you to join us sign up because the deadline is just in a few days my wife and I have to prepare a lot for my shrugment is unbelievable he's great he's going to be running the city with me and uh doing these you know it's not the first time and we're really looking forward to having a good time and sharing the wealth thank you very much thank you